I still cannot do a push-up. Actually, now it’s worse. Before I could maybe manage one or two. Now I really cannot do a push-up.
And the thing is, it’s not even a strength issue. That is, it is a strength issue, but before we can even get to strength we have to deal with my total lack of propioception (Jason taught me that word. It means an awareness of one’s own body in space. He claims all species have it. I claim I do not.) and coordination. So by the time I’ve figured out if my legs are properly aligned and my back is straight and I’m trying to engage my abs and not arch and put my hands where they’re supposed to be and what the hell do I do with my toes?, I’ve collapsed.
A lot of my workout problems come down to coordination. Here’s what happened. I was disgusted with myself yesterday because all week I have promised myself I would accomplish something during the day, then we go downstairs and I make us eggs, and then I turn on the TV and watch endless episodes of My Name is Earl off the Netflix Instant Queue and nothing happens. So I made a new daily schedule, which included me waking up with Jason’s alarm at 5:30 to go do an elliptical workout.
I did not wake up at 5:30. Jason claims he tried to wake me. I have no memory of this. Instead I woke up at 5:50, when he did, and attempted to get downstairs, but he waylaid me with concerns about the time and my hearing Zoe, and then Zoe woke up and needed a feeding in order to go back to sleep (because I am still f-ing breastfeeding this child), so by the time that was done it was, like, 6:05. So I decided that I would see if Netflix Instant Queue had any workout videos and do one in the library.
Well, surprisingly, the Netflix Instant Queue workout video availability is pretty limited. I did not expect that, because really, wouldn’t you think it would take no skin off of anyone’s back to offer the workout video this way? I mean, really, Neena and Veena – it would kill you? So I chose the Crunch Boot Camp something or other from the limited menu. And although not too many of the exercises were too difficult for me strength-wise (I mean, difficult enough that the were a workout, but not so difficult that I couldn’t do them), they were all too difficult for me coordination-wise. And these moves should not be difficult. I mean, there was marching. Okay, I can march. But then there was marching to the side. Ooh, tricky. And then you march to the side and then forward and back. Oh, no. I can’t handle that many instructions. I get confused.
And it doesn’t help that I still don’t know left from right.