Zoeness

It’s been a while so here’s an update of all the awesome stuff Zoe’s been up to lately (and some not so awesome stuff).

1. She’s potty trained!  More or less.  She still can’t hold it for very long, so the car is somewhat hazardous, and she still won’t wake up because she has to pee.  But she is very self-directed about it when near an accessible potty; she just runs into the bathroom and pulls her pants down herself and everything.  She doesn’t really need much reminding.  So good job her!

2. This has destroyed the sleeping-in-her-own-bed thing, though.  She’s back in ours most of the time.  And the other night, I put her in hers with her iPad, then went into my own room to sleep instead of staying up until I knew she was sleeping.  Sure enough, forty-five minutes later, there was a little body flopping on my head and stealing my pillow.  Y’all might think it’s ridiculous that a very tiny two-year-old can make it so that I don’t have enough room to sleep in my bed, but the girl likes to stretch out.  On my pillow.  Horizontally.  And then she likes to kick.

3. She also likes to pretend to be a “tiny baby” a lot.  She likes to be wrapped in something swaddle-y (even though she didn’t much take to being swaddled when she was a tiny baby) and then held in my arms like a baby and then she makes high-pitched cooing noises at me.  Or tries to get me to feed her something from some form of bottle.

4. She also really, really, really likes to play with tiny babies.

5. She’s really honing her flirting abilities.  Last week we went to the park and this little boy was very forward about being her friend.  “Hi, I’m Asher.  Want to play with me?”  Zoe allowed him to “show” her how to slide, even though she knows perfectly well.  Then when he was doing something goofy on the swings, Zoe laughed, batted her eyes at him, tilted her head, and said, “Asher is silly!”  A few days before that, she charmed some, like, 6-year-old boy at this indoor playground place into following her around.  Then she hurt herself, and was totally leaning into him and whimpering pathetically while he put his arm around her and led her back to me.  And at Hebrew School she’s always making high-pitched noises and tilting her head and touching the arms and hair of the fourth and fifth grade boys.  Adolescence is going to be a nightmare, isn’t it?

6. But it’s okay; we’ve selected her prom date.  Our neighbor has a four-year-old son who has already given her her first ride in a car with a boy (it was his Big Wheel or whatever those things are), watched fireworks with her, and is super-solicitous of her every time she visits.  He even poured her a glass of water, unprompted, last time we were there.  Okay, this is mainly cute things about him, not her.

7. This is not awesome – she hits me.  It’s gotten a little better.  I’m following my friend’s advice to stop her arm before she hits and say “I will not let you hit me” and that seems pretty effective.  And she is (usually) very affectionate afterwards, to make up for it.  But it’s still annoying.  Usually she does it while quoting a line from Anastasia, “I don’t want to hear about ANYTHING what (sic) I said!”

8. Uncle Evan came to stay for a few weeks.  She was chomping at the bit to play with him.  She kept stomping around and squealing while we were carrying in his stuff.

9. She is very inquisitive about the television shows and movies she watches.  “What’s George doing?”  “Why did the purple girl (girl wearing a purple garment) hit her?”  “That makes the doggie happy!”

10. She likes to push the shoulder straps of her or my tank tops down and claim we look like Jasmine.

11.  She still likes to make out with me.  And feel me up.

12.  She gets scared of things more easily lately, especially certain toys.  And she retains memories of these fears.  If we talk about going over to our neighbor’s house (where her future prom date lives), she talks about not wanting to be scared by the green dinosaur.  But she’s also dealing with it.  A few days ago another friend was over.  He found the Cylon that came with our Battlestar Galactica boxed set and was playing with it.  Zoe was terrified.  She started shrieking and screaming.  So we got him to hide it in a little suitcase.  Then the next day she started talking about it.  “It’s not a robot, it’s just a guy,” she said.  (I had not said that the day before; I had just told her the robot was not going to hurt her.  And that it was a Cylon.)  Then she took it out of the suitcase.  “It’s just a guy.”  And she played with it for a little while.  Then this morning Jason took it out and started trying to play with it with her.  She started screaming about it and insisting “It’s just a guy, it’s just a guy!”  So Jason stopped calling it a Cylon and she calmed down.

13.  She has a best friend at preschool who, a few months ago, was the girl hitting and kicking and pushing her.  Now she talks about her all the time.  “What color are Celia’s* shoes today, Mom?”  “Oh, that’s Celia’s mommy.  Celia wants to chase me and kiss me!”  I told her teacher about that comment and the teacher said, “Yup, that’s basically what they do together.”

14. But that doesn’t stop her from telling Celia off.  Celia pulled another kid’s hair. (Celia is not malicious, by the way.  Just two and trying to interact.)  Zoe walked right up to her, made eye contact, wagged her finger, and said, “Listen to me.  That is not very nice.”

15. When Harry Met Sally was on so we were watching.  Zoe watched the scene where Meg Ryan fakes an orgasm with great interest, and threw in a few guttural “Yes! Yes!” utterances of her own at the end.

16.  She is learning a lot of the Hebrew School songs we sing, as well as the Glee and Disney songs.  I love hearing her bust out a tune in the middle of everything, whether it’s “Ufaratza” or “Fat-Bottomed Girls.”

17.  If you have different opinions on something, she tries to integrate them.  For instance, she pointed to a building and said, “Look, Mom, a castle.”  I said, “It’s a church.”  She said, “Oh, it’s a church castle.”

18. I have become “Mom” most of the time now.  I am a little sad.  I wanted to hold on to “Mama” as long as possible, but that went away quickly and now “Mommy” is less in use, too.

I’m sure I’ve forgotten things but we’ll do this again soon.

*Not her real name.

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