Kate: 😦 (in a Snooki voice) Wahhhhhh.
Erica: Two routines and a solo and probably a lot of nonsense. Got to fill the two hours.
Kate: I love when they have just enough dancers to do 2 dances each thus cut down on the judges’ blabbering, but with this number of dancers they have to kill time.
Erica: Does Christina Applegate look like maybe somebody punched her in the puppy right before she went on the show?
Kate: Well, she’s been through a lot. I think she semi-recently had breast cancer and then more semi-recently I think she had a baby, so perhaps those 2 things explain her look. Neither of those things excuses her hair from being too long, though, and I don’t think I knew she had any kind of dance background or knowledge?
Erica: Oh. I didn’t know any of that. Yeah, she’s been doing Broadway for a while now. We were supposed to see her in Sweet Charity but she got sick that night or something. Oh, my God, Nigel, not only did you INVENT DANCING, but you then spread it AROUND THE WORLD. Congratulations.
Melanie and Twitch (!)
Erica: During the rehearsal footage, I was thinking, gosh, this storyline is all kinds of racist, but they were so adorable it just seemed to fit.
Kate: Oh she just looked so precious trying to be tough and hip-hoppy. A little silly, but good.
Erica: I hate to say anything bad about Melanie, but she was not sharp enough. Her contemporary training was showing.
Kate: That’s what I was trying to sugarcoat with “silly”.
Sasha and Kent (!)
Kate: So many exclamation mark-worthy performances tonight! I’d forgotten how good Kent was, probably because I was lobbying so hard for him NOT to win last season because I so badly wanted Lauren to win. Turns out I was successful (as if my vote had anything to do with it-yes I actually vote, but only for the finale).
Erica: I’m glad Melanie and Kent weren’t paired. That would have been an explosion of cute the world could not have withstood. There’d be a flash of pink and blue sparkly lights and then we’d walk outside to discover that our world had become hand-drawn animation with saturated pastels and enormous eyes on everything.
Kate: Well, yeah.
Erica: I am not a fan of Tyce’s non-Broadway choreography (unlike the judges). That said, Sasha is FIERCE (and I sort of hate that saying that is automatically a Beyonce reference).
Kate: I know, she totally ruined that name-word combination for us. But it’s true, she (Sasha, not Beyonce) is the fiercest.
Erica: I like Christina Applegate. Sometimes I get annoyed with the judges’ prioritization of emotion over technique, but with Sasha I get exactly what Christina is saying. Sasha puts her hand on a wall and I care.
Kate: I so care.
Erica: Apropos of nothing, I sometimes look at pictures of myself and realize that the shirts I’m wearing are too low-cut (or, when I’m being an optimist, that my breasts are too fabulous for my shirt). And then I see Mary Murphy’s dress and think, “Well, if that’s normal…”
Kate: It’s not. We’ve discussed how I feel about age-appropriate, cleavage-baring ensembles. Ms. Murphy was definitely in violation as well as way too blinged out AND I do not support the new lighter ‘do, which I believe I mentioned in a previous post. Cat, on the other hand, looked fabulous. I love the long-sleeve-mini dress thang, but my SYTYCD viewing companion is vehemently opposed to the height of her shoes because she is already so tall.
Erica: See, this is what comes of reading women’s magazines. Because whenever they have “dress for your body” stuff, it’s always “try to look as average as possible” stuff. Big bust? Minimize it! Small bust? Maximize it! Big hips? Make them smaller! No hips? Try to create some hips! Whereas really, we should CELEBRATE what makes us look un-average. Tall and leggy and gorgeous like Cat Deely? Wear those six-inch stilettos, baby! You look fabulous! Also, those short cocktail dresses she always wears would look weird with flats.
Marko and Janette
Erica: Dmitry! Another guy who was on this show who was actually sexy and not little-brother adorable!
Kate: The choreographer?
Erica: Yeah. He was on Season 2. And then at one point, he came on a finale and danced with Mary Murphy. Which was HOT DAMN. I would like to know what Janette thinks her Hispanic roots have to do with partnering Marko for this dance? So, the dance. Oh, man, agreeing with Nigel kind of hurts me, but I know he’s a big paso doble guy, and I knew this wasn’t going to excite him, and it didn’t excite me either. Marko was good but not great, and the same could be said of the whole thing.
Kate: Much agreed. Can’t really picture something involving Mary Murphy being “HOT DAMN.”
Erica: You are so very wrong. Mary Murphy is the conductor on the Hot Tamale Train.
Erica: Bringing in Ricky’s mom will not melt me to him. I’m still going to be sad that Jess went home last week and not him.
Kate: Me either. Get rid of ‘im.
Tadd and Eleanor
Kate: Ellenore! I loved her during her season (7?) and was very sad when she was sent home.
Erica: Okay, so I love Ellenore, and I love her with Sonya, and it was really fantastic. But when Sonya was describing it, I thought we were going to get the few seconds of “Oh, no, we mustn’t!” before we got to “I must have you!” I would have liked that few seconds. Mainly because of all the romantic plot lines I like, the ones where it’s “No we mustn’t but I HAVE TO RIP YOUR CLOTHES OFF RIGHT NOW but we CAN’T” are my favorite. (I’d look for a TV Tropes link for that plot line but seriously, I have to, like, eat and sleep and get my kid to preschool and I fear that won’t happen if I so much as link to TV Tropes right now.) I felt like it was a really great piece that would have been awesome with, like, four more hours of work on it.
Kate: I really liked this too but how can you not mention Tadd’s amazing-ness with that chandelier? Pretty neat-o.
Erica: It was all pretty neat-o. Oh, no, Christina! You brought the b-boy thing in! Stop it!
Kate: And we had such high hopes for her.
Erica: I’m annoyed by this cover.
Kate: So annoyed.
Ricky and Jaime
Erica: I’m happier to see Jaime than I thought I’d be.
Kate: Not a clue who she is, but this dance was all right I suppose. Definitely been-there-done-that contemporary choreography, and definitely out-shined him. Out-shone?
Erica: I think it’s out-shined, actually, but I could be wrong. She was the flower to Hok’s hummingbird. Here’s what I understand about contemporary dance from this show: girl in nightie, boy in pajama pants, flail. Which is not to say that I didn’t like this. I just feel like contemporary dance comes out of wanting to keep the costume budget low.
Kate: Very astute. Don’t forget the sappy song.
Erica: Oh, yes. That, too. “Love is awful”; that’s what else I’ve learned from contemporary dance. And “Inside These Lines” with the sticks? We’re going pretty literal, huh? I thought he wasn’t too bad this time but Jaime was so fabulous I might not have been paying attention.
Erica: See, I already liked Tadd, so his dad kind of charmed me. I do love his solos. So bouncy and cute.
Kate: A b-boy solo never thrills me; he is much more talented than these little tricks.
Erica: I love Sasha’s parents, too. But I already loved Sasha. Her solos to me are inventive and real performances, not just “let me show you how many times I can spin”.
Kate: Agreed, this was one of the only solos I’ve ever seen, like, really ever, that actually had me at full attention. I’m leaning toward Team Sasha again.
Caitlyn and Pasha
Erica: Two sexy Russians in one rehearsal segment! Happy Erica! Although let’s never use the construct “What happens in x location, stays in x location” ever again, okay?
Kate: Wasn’t it originally only for Vegas? I don’t get how it applies to every location; if it applies everywhere then no one will ever remember/acknowledge what they did, like, anywhere!
Erica: You are too right about that. We are so sympatico tonight! Never mind that it’s not even true in Vegas – marriage licenses and STIs can cross city lines, you know. Anyway, I loved this. But there was Pasha doing samba, of course I loved it.
Kate: I did not love her part. She seems too young and perky for this kind of dance.
Erica: And of course, Marko’s mom has already melted me.
Kate: Totes. His solo was good?
Kate: Can we just have Melanie’s grandmother win the show and be done with it? The whole Melanie family is just so precious; she did a little Harlem shake at the end of her solo! Precious precious precious!
Erica: But the shake was with the assumption that they were going to do “dance dance dance dance” at the end. Which they don’t do anymore. Of course, her solo was all kinds of awesome.
Kate: Oh, cut it out. It was precious.
Ricky and Sasha
Erica: Waaking? Oh, boy.
Kate: Okay my issue with this “waaking” business is that it has really cool moves, but I think it’s ONLY moves and not really a full-on dance genre. Anyone with me on this?
Erica: “Waaking is about the individual and who you are right now in your life.” I know what all those words (except ‘waaking’) mean individually, but all together? They are completely meaningless. And have nothing to do with dancing.
Kate: I thought the same thing. She totes made that up.
Erica: And watching the dance didn’t help anything. It just looked like what they typically call “jazz” on this show. And I sort of remember Princess Lockaroo but this isn’t what I remember. I really don’t know what happened in this number or why.
Kate: You so totes read my mind! The whole time I was thinking “This is just jazz, with some actually cheerleader-like arm movements.
Erica: I am loving Christina Applegate, though, because she delivered that “waacked it harder” with the appropriate amount of dead-pan-ness and a decided lack of giggling and congratulating herself for being such a bad, bad girl indeed.
Kate: She redeemed herself from the “b-boy” comment. Almost.
Melanie and Tadd
Kate: Very, very hot. They had great chemistry. You already know how I feel about her, but he really is quite talented too.
Erica: Damn. Loved it. Love her. Even loved him. (I usually like him but when he stands next to her, some of her shine rubs off.) Holy God. Loved it. But props people, you had at least two girls in cheap negligees tonight; couldn’t use the extra money for a real mirror that wouldn’t bend when they touched it?
Marko and Caitlyn
Erica: It’s awfully difficult to develop a reaction to a dance when your daughter is making you shake a string with her and sing the mouse song from Cinderella over and over again. So…fine?
Kate: Fine?! This was BEYOND. I finally saw what everyone else sees in Caitlynn (which doesn’t mean I’m not ready to send her packin’ because the top 6 episode is not the time to actually START dancing really well), and I think we have to owe that to Sonya. (In a British accent, a real one not a phony one like Nigel’s) This was brilliant, bloody brilliant.
Erica: Umm . . . his name is Nigel Lythgoe. I think we can trust that he’s actually British. Okay, I watched it again. You’re right; it was pretty awesome. Although she still does some pretty amateur theatrics with her face.
Kate: Note how neither of us even acknowledged the presence of that wretched cretin who goes by the name of Lil’ C. Ugh.
Erica: I do not feel he is cretinous so much as he doesn’t say much that means anything to me. (Hashtags, dude? Really? You’re so cool.) It’s like he’s always a character when he comes on; he’s always Lil’ C. (Li’l C?) That’s actually what I liked about Christina Applegate tonight. She’s been in my conscious for so long, but mostly as Kelly Bundy and then whatever Kelly Bundy is doing now, and none of it really was my speed. I didn’t even like Sweet Charity that much; it’s sort of a weird show, even if it does have some stellar songs. But now I feel like, I would sit down and have a cup of coffee with her. I don’t feel like I know who would show up if I made the same offer to C.
Erica: Okay, so, the results show. My new best friend Christina was not there and I’m not sure I heard why. But Kent and Lauren reprised their Travis Wall prom number and it was delightful. And I don’t understand what they were on about with the results. They can’t reveal the bottom four because that would reveal the top two? I don’t understand. But I guess they’ve got an hour, might as well have six solos. In any event, Caitlynn and Ricky went home. Not at all surprised, totally pleased.