Lesson to Unlearn from Glee – Season 3, Episode 6

The lesson: Anyone at all in the Quinn/Puck/Idina Menzel saga is sympathetic or interesting. So for the none of you who are reading this entry but not watching “Glee,” here’s what’s happening: Quinn and Puck made a baby in the first season, named her Beth after that song by KISS that Puck covered, and then gave her away (without any apparent legal paperwork or interference) to Idina Menzel (whose character name I’m still not going to acknowledge), who is Rachel Berry’s biological mom, who basically incubated Rachel for her two gay dads, one of whom is her biological father, neither of whom have gotten any screen time despite being apparently so into Rachel’s theater career that they had her in dance contests at three months old. But that’s another complaint. Anyway, that was in Season One. For the entirety of Season Two, no one mentioned Beth or Idina Menzel. Then at the beginning of this season, Puck was desperate to be Beth’s father and Quinn was all screwed up because she gave away the baby she hadn’t thought about in a year. So when Idina Menzel came back to Lima, Ohio, for reasons too stupid to write down here (and yes, they’re stupider than this baby plot line), Quinn decided that she had to get Beth back come hell or high-water, because now that she didn’t get to be prom queen as a junior (?), the baby is all she has to live for or some shit. So she tried to plant evidence of child abuse and call CPS on Idina’s ass. But then Puck interfered because he totally lurves Idina and Beth and wants to be a dad or something. Meanwhile Quinn is prating on about how Beth is the one thing she can’t screw up, like, yeah, that’s totally how parenting works. You don’t ever worry that you’re screwing up. But then Puck and Idina kind of made out. And the writers apparently believe that a) we are on St. Quinn’s side, because remember, Quinn can threaten Rachel with physical violence and send nasty lists around the school and betray the Glee Club and try to take an innocent woman’s baby away from her and call her a whore for generously donating her egg and her womb and nine months of her life to a pair of gay men who wanted a baby and still smell like a rose because she’s pretty and wears ’50s-ish sundresses, and b) we give a shit.

The truth: Seriously, writers? You’ve got a plot line about a hot teenage cheerleader trying to steal back her baby – whose father is totally hot and was not her boyfriend at the time of the conception – from the biological/surrogate mother of her rival while her baby daddy and the adoptive mother of her baby – who is also a teacher at her school – get it on. And it is dull as paint. That plot shouldn’t be sensical or intelligent but it should be exciting or at least funny. It is none of those things.

You know why? Because you’re making every character inexplicably preachy. It’s really annoying. Idina has the strongest preachy leg to stand on, given that she’s raising the kid, but that’s seriously undermined by her hooking up with a student. Puck is just dumb. Quinn is possibly a sociopath. But the way you’re writing and directing her scenes makes it seem like you think she’s awesome. Which makes me think you’re sociopaths.

And yet despite the sociopathy, I’m still bored out of my mind. Cut. It. Out.

On another note, show – please look at an actual high school’s calendar once or twice. The musical is typically put on in the spring; casting typically takes place in late fall and rehearsals either start right before winter break or right after. Even in schools that have a fall musical, that musical is not usually the exclusive property of one singing group. And high schools that have a poor relationship with extracurricular arts never have a fall musical. Elections for class president take place the spring before the school year, so that when the new school year starts, it starts with the student council in place. Prom kings and queens are almost always seniors, unless there’s a separate prom.

And sometimes students go to classes like Math and English and shit.

Oh, the other truth we learned this week? I’ll put up with just about anything if Amber Riley and Naya Rivera sing an Adele mash-up at the end.

 

ETA: My sister’s is up.

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