Kate: Happy 2016 awards show season to us!!!
Erica: It’s not wrong, what we do, right? I mean, we’re not critiquing the people, we’re critiquing the clothes. And we only cover women because the men are all in the same outfit. Which is, yes, the product of a sexist society, but it’s not, like, OUR fault.
Kate: No, it’s fun what we do, and everyone does it. Celebrities sign up for this. Are the Golden Globes earlier than usual this year? I feel like they are.
Erica: I don’t think so.
Kate: I’m excited about Ricky Gervais hosting again, because I didn’t like him at all the first time around, and now I do, so I’ll probably find him funnier.
Erica: Oh, I’m still not a fan. But I did like his joke about making the same for this gig as Tina Fey and Amy Poehler.
Kate: We’ve seen this dress before, have we not? If not in this color than in another?
Erica: Maybe? It’s a similar style to what she usually wears.
Kate: It’s nice, but boring, and her hair is too severely pulled back for the neckline.
Erica: That neckline is hard. I mean, I do not like severe hair, but I don’t know what to do with that neckline that isn’t either severe or, like, something an eight year old would like in 1987.
Kate: Who says redheads can’t wear red? I love this! She looks so much better when she’s not feeling the pressure of being nominated, huh?
Erica: I kind of say redheads can’t wear red. Or at least, the red would have looked nicer if it were a more blue-toned red rather than an orange-toned red.
Kate: Oh no I think it looks great. And her hair is perfect — very much like her twin Isla Fisher’s — and the dress looks fun and dare I say comfortable? She just looks like she’s there to have a grand old time.
Erica: She is a lovely human as ever. Not super-thrilled with the dress.
Kate: It’s like a mish-mosh of every black-and-white dress anyone has ever worn on the red carpet, and while both colors are classic the whole thing feels a little dated. But it’s a heck of a lot better than that turquoise strapless monstrosity she wore to the Emmys, as is her hair.
Erica: I mean, look, I hate black-and-white formal dresses in general. (Except this one my friend Leah wore to our jr/sr formal that just made her boobs look fantastic, so it gets a pass.)
Kate: She looks nice overall, I just know she’s capable of looking a lot better.
Erica: I think she will not be capable of looking better until SHE believes that she can look better. You know?
Kate: She looks better in, like, random episodes of Inside Amy Schumer. PS CAN’T WAIT TO SEE HER IN JUNE!!!
Erica: I can’t. I liked the book but I can’t see the movie. I know my limits.
Kate: So I really like this because it’s super Ancient Greece/Egypt-looking, which you know I love, and hello abs, but I don’t know if it’s really right for this here red carpet.
Erica: Yeah? I think it’s fine. I don’t love it and I don’t hate it but it’s nice and the right level of fancy.
Kate: Including her because I just saw the new Star Wars and am feeling very loving toward Harrison Ford.
Erica: She and Harrison Ford are still married? Did I know that?
Kate: Yea. I love this color/pattern as, like, a top from Anthropologie, but it’s just too much as a gown on the red carpet.
Erica: I like it fine. I love the color, as you know, and yes, it would make a very cute top from Anthropologie, but I think it also makes a nice “wife-of” dress for the Golden Globes. She looks super-uncomfortable in any shot that does not have her husband in it, though.
Kate: Mmmm… No. Shaking my head no.
Erica: I knew we were going to disagree on this one. I thought it was stunning.
Kate: I can usually get behind her extremely fashion-forward red carpet choices, but I can’t get behind this pink or this fringe. And I am really not into the side-swept hairstyle, but that may just be the angle of the photo.
Erica: I am fine with the sideswept hair. I love the dress. She looks like one of those Art Nouveau posters. Which is one of my favorite things.
Kate: This isn’t something I’d usually like, but I appreciate that she’s playing up her GOT fashion a little here. Khaleesi’s outfits have been outrageously amazing the last couple seasons, way more exciting than what Emilia usually wears on the red carpet, so it makes sense that she’d go in this direction.
Erica: Ooh no I don’t like it. Too depressing.
Kate: I do, it comes off very chic and almost like Khaleesi’s dark-haired evil twin — hey, maybe that’s what’s happening in season 6!
Erica: That would be amazing. But I hate the dress. She looked really cute at HBO’s afterparty, though:
Kate: Oh no, I like this way less.
Kate: I have to be careful with this one because I’m TOTALLY SEEING HER WEDNESDAY NIGHT AT WATCH WHAT HAPPENS LIVE (!!!), but I have a few qualms about it.
Erica: I liked it overall but I agree with some qualms.
Kate: My qualms are the bows — are they really both necessary? Is the one at the waist just a gold ribbon that doesn’t actually come with the dress? Without that it’d be divine!
Erica: So, to me, it was mostly that the two bows didn’t match. Like, why is there a pink glittery thing at the neck but a gold glittery thing at the waist? I think it could work if they were both the same color. Although you could lose the belt and it would be fine.
Kate: …Crap I really hope she doesn’t read this blog before Wednesday night.
Erica: No, no, no, look. The dress is great, other than our quibble. I think it’s unique and pretty and looks fantastic on her. I especially love how either the flower design or her walk or both make her hips look very sexy. Also, COMPLETELY FLAWLESS makeup and hair. ALSO completely flawless delivery of teleprompter jokes, which is hard, y’all. Also, every time I see her on a talk show or what have you, she comes across as really intelligent and really charming and I know she does a lot of work with politics, especially voter outreach and immigration issues, so good for her, using her talent, humor, fame, and good looks for good. There. That should make her like you. Even though I kind of hate Andy Cohen, I’m jealous that you’ll be seeing her.
Kate: Well, that’ll make her like YOU!
Kate: Oh, Gina, you got confused. It’s the Golden Globes, not the Oscars, dear.
Erica: Aw, come on, Kate. She’s a TV star. She doesn’t go to the Oscars.
Kate: (Speaking of which, that bit about TV vs. movie stars by Will Ferrell was incredible.) It’s just too much dress. And this satin ALWAYS looks wrinkled on the red carpet no matter what anyone does with it beforehand.
Erica: Yeah, that’s true. But I love the shape and the color.
Kate: She really swears she’s an A List celebrity now, doesn’t she?
Erica: I like to continue to pretend I don’t know who she is.
Kate: I mean yea this is kind of a killer dress, but I’d rather see it on almost anyone else. She has grown increasingly rude and crass and flat-out mean on Fashion Police, and she has really lost a fan in me. (In case you hadn’t noticed.)
Erica: They make them be crude and mean on Fashion Police, right? That’s the job description. I don’t love the dress, myself, although the sleeves are kind of spectacular, and I do like pairing turquoise jewelry with orange. But the orange, her skin tone, and the hair don’t really work together and also, I don’t really want to acknowledge her.
Kate: They didn’t start out all being mean on Fashion Police, mean was Joan Rivers’s thing (RIP), everyone else was supposed to be objectively judging fashion. Like us!
Kate: This woman is 70 years old. SEVENTY. YEARS. OLD. Look at her!
Erica: For real.
Kate: Helen Mirren is officially my new life goal. “Why do you go to the gym every morning, Kate? Why are you spending so much money on moisturizer, Kate?” So I can look like Helen Mirren when I’m 70, that’s why. Incredible!
Erica: I just heard a podcast of a screenplay in which a major plot point is that the husband has a crush on Helen Mirren and then she shows up in a bar and flirts with him and I thought, you know, if they made this screenplay, she’d probably do it, because that the kind of cool chick she is.
Jada Pinkett Smith
Kate: This kind of looks like a top I could buy at H&M with a whole lot of extra material. Not feelin’ it.
Erica: I have a bad taste in my mouth about her and I can’t think why. Did she do something of which I disapproved?
Kate: Perhaps it’s her facial expression. It’s just all very mermaidy — in a bad way, because sometimes we like mermaids — and the shoes and eye shadow are way too matchy-matchy.
Erica: I like the color but you’re right about the shoes. But it’s also very slinky and sexy and she doesn’t usually do that, does she? It’s especially weird when she’s all, “Check out my super-sexy legs!” while standing next to her son.
Also, I saw her hugging Jenna Dewan-Tatum. Does that mean the Tatums are joining Scientology?
Kate: No no no no no!
Kate: Jane was planning on wearing a plain white long-sleeved column dress, and just before she got into her limo she decided it was too boring so she grabbed her dust ruffle and wrapped it around her shoulders.
Erica: I don’t care, I love it. I love how crazy pants it is.
Kate: This is probably a little too much dress for someone who really has nothing to do with the Golden Globes and is just someone’s date, but she looks pretty nice.
Erica: She really does. It’s very glam. I guess when you’re standing next to Channing Tatum, you want to really stand out. (I say this on behalf of the world, not myself. Channing Tatum is very nice-looking, but he’s way too young for me to find attractive.)
Kate: He’s the perfect man and Ian agrees with me. I do like the silhouette of the gown, even if the pattern is a bit overwhelming. And did she poof her hair in the front? Come on.
Erica: I can’t really see what about her hair you’re objecting to. It looks fine to me.
Jennifer Jason Leigh
Kate: Including her because I saw her on Watch What Happens Live! the other night and was really taken aback by her weirdness — what is her deal?
Erica: She has too many names. That’s the problem.
Kate: This dress is gross — very 80s in a very bad way, horrible color, and a belt that doesn’t belong anywhere. Worst Dressed nominee!
Erica: Sleeves are very stupid. Bodice is somehow BOTH popping her boobs out unattractively AND making them look droopy. But it’s a testament to how boring and safe everyone is being that this otherwise blah number is on the Worst Dressed list.
Kate: Ok so I really love the dress. I love the color, I love her new take on cutouts (I know how you feel about cutouts, Er), I love how fab it looks on her body. It probably doesn’t need such a thick blingy necklace, but it’s a gorgeous piece and she pulls it off.
Erica: Yeah, I don’t like the cut outs. I don’t like this at all. Also, she and Amy didn’t really deliver their teleprompter jokes that well, which, I understand that teleprompters are hard and the jokes are typically too cheesy, but for real. Amy Schumer and Jennifer Lawrence. How much did you have to drink that early in the proceedings that the two of you, of all people, could not pull them off?
Kate: I thought they were funny! The only thing I don’t like is her hair. I’m hoping the color is because of a role and not a voluntary choice, and I just think wearing it all down in soft waves would have looked nicer. I get that she’s trying to give the necklace and the dress all the attention, I just don’t agree with the choice.
Erica: It’s too pale for her. The hair. I don’t care one way or another about the necklace because I hate the dress.
Erica: Yeah, I really like the look on her. I like her overall style, with or without skin, because it’s always daring, whatever she does, and it’s always executed flawlessly.
Kate: I would probably like the dress better without the mini-cape, but I also get why it’s there, and the color would obviously be awful on anyone else. She broke it up nicely with accessories. I do, however, luuuuuurrrrrvvvveee the hair. Lurve.
Erica: Yeah? I like it darker on her.
Kate: But the soft flippiness of it? Lurve.
Kate: Absolutely beautiful color on her. Beautiful.
Erica: Oh this is my catnip.
Kate: The structured strapless/sweetheart neck with the deep V isn’t that flattering on her, though. The whole thing would have been very goddess-like if it had straps — maybe in a halter? — in the same material as the skirt.
Erica: Well, that neckline is very difficult. It always looks too low. But otherwise I love it.
Kate: Hair and makeup on FLEEK as per usual, but truly underwhelmed by the dress.
Erica: You know, when you’ve been nominated SO MANY TIMES, and you have to go to these things, like EVERY OTHER DAY, sometimes you want to just drop by Bloomies, pick up a dress, and be done with it.
Kate: She overall never looks anything short of amazing, I just don’t feel strongly about the dress one way or another. It’s a very confusing feeling, or non-feeling, I admit, but it’s there, and I don’t know what to do with it.
Kate: Nope. Hate it.
Erica: Agree. This is my anti-catnip.
Kate: It’s WAY too much blue, way way way. And can we just be DONE with the sequin overkill?
Erica: I think the color is fine, it’s just there’s too much dress, so it’s overwhelming. And yes, please let’s be done with sequin overkill. Please.
Kate: I’m really not even sure you could call this a “dress”, and whatever it is I really don’t like it, but HOW does her body keep getting better with each passing year?
Erica: Hate the “dress”. Her body is insane. Doesn’t she have a new expensive yoga-wear line out? I must say though, something weird is happening with her face. And also her hair. But yes. Body. Sicker than ever.
Kate: Yes, Fabletics. I can’t bring myself to buy any because my workout gear and pajamas are one and the same.
Kate: A lovely and very Kate Winslet choice, which means it’s a tiny bit boring.
Erica: Yeah, it’s what she always wears, but she wears it well. And she’s crazy talented and incredibly gracious, so that looks good on her, too.
Kate: And I’m really over this side-swept hairstyle, but her jewelry and skin and makeup all look phenomenal.
Erica: I like the side-swept hair. And the makeup is completely perfect.
Kate: WHOA, hello hair?
Erica: Well, she’s Katy Perry. She can’t just wear a sexy tight pink dress; there has to be a costume-y element. In keeping with her “slutty version of Zooey Deschanel” aesthetic, I approve of this ensemble (although not so much the shoes).
Kate: I mean I like the dress fine but who can look past that hair? Also, what is she doing there?
Erica: That I cannot answer for you. I was hoping that watching (some of) the telecast would clue me in but it didn’t.
Kate: She presented Best Original Song. Really, Hollywood Foreign Press Association, we couldn’t find anyone else to do that? I generally like Katy Perry, I just feel like we could have had someone with a little more dignity — and less ridiculous hair — present this award.
Kate: We haven’t seen her on a major red carpet in a long time, and I’m so happy she has made such a triumphant return. She used to wear some pretty weird sh!t.
Erica: Well, this is weird, but not really crazy.
Kate: Really? This may already be a Best Dressed nominee for me. The only thing I’d change is the black string going across her collarbone; it’s just not necessary. Everything else about this look is completely on fleek.
Erica: No, for the dress, it’s a necessary element. I don’t love the sort of haute-BDSM Valentino look, but it fit with that aesthetic.
Kate: HOLD ON. HER BOYFRIEND IS GARRETT HEDLUND?! He is so dreamy!
Kate: He’s an actor/country singer who starred in the instant classic Country Strong. (I honestly don’t know if he’s really a country singer but he sang country songs — which I LOVE — in that movie, so. There.)
Erica: You know, I’ve never seen that movie, and I don’t really understand how that happened.
Kate: Oh it’s so bad it’s good. It’s basically the movie version of Nashville.
Kate: Extremely Jessica Rabbit/Marilyn Monroe-esque.
Erica: Love it.
Kate: Remember when we used to say “What if Lady Gaga showed up to award shows wearing boring black dresses?”? I kind of wish she’d go back to her old ways.
Erica: Yes, but this is flawless.
Kate: This is how you do white on the red carpet without looking bridal. (See below for Taraji P. Henson doing this the wrong way.)
Erica: I disagree that Taraji P. Henson did it wrong, as you’ll see, but yes, yes, yes to Laverne Cox. So much yes.
Kate: Love everything about it, even though I’ve already said twice that I’m done with side buns. Best Dressed nominee.
Erica: Side bun looks totally cute. She is really getting the hang of this red carpet thing.
Kate: I want to like this because I like her so much, but it’s really falling flat for me.
Erica: Oh, I like it fine.
Kate: The top is very ill-fitting, the beading below the waist doesn’t flow right, and the shade just doesn’t work with her skin tone and hair color. And she definitely doesn’t need that necklace. But it’s all so close to working that it’s frustrating, you know?
Erica: It’s probably a reflection of how she sees herself. Like, she probably doesn’t think she’s a big enough star to worry about getting all the details right. I do like the concept of the dress, but you’re right; little changes would make it a lot better.
Erica: I thought her look would be in your wheelhouse, with its goddessy aspect, no?
Kate: Yes I like it, I just don’t really know who she is or what she does. I don’t love the hair and dark makeup with this style of dress, and I am kind of done with the one-shoulder cutouts.
Erica: I need to stop looking at this dress right away. I’m sorry, Maggie Gyllenhaal. I think you’re a fabulous actress.
Kate: I thought we were done with the peplum, no?
Erica: Nothing ever truly dies, does it?
Kate: The lace makes the whole thing seem very droopy, and the color is very drab. Not impressed.
Erica: Both yawn-worthy and ugly.
Kate: She has lost a ton of weight lately and looks absolutely phenomenal, and yet she chose a dress that completely hides that (that she apparently designed herself?). Very disappointing.
Erica: It’s part of her line. I think it’s too baggy. That much shiny fabric, in that color, just looks sort of garbage-baggy.
Kate: Adore the hair, though.
Erica: Sure. And the human.
Kate: Wow, it’s going to be hard for anyone to top this on the Worst Dressed list. What was she thinking?!
Erica: Really? I don’t like it, but I don’t hate it with vehemence. I think the dress accomplishes what it wants to accomplish.
Kate: Oh no, there’s absolutely nothing appealing about this dress, or this whole look. Not one damn thing.
Erica: Well, I agree I don’t find it appealing. Also, her hair looks ratty in most pictures.
Kate: Ooohhh no.
Kate: Oh no oh no. The necklace ruins everything. EVERYTHING, OLIVIA!
Erica: It really does. It’s totally out of place.
Kate. Also the hair. It’s so 2000s surfer girl, bleh! And her eyeshadow matches her dress/makes her face looked bruised! Double bleh!
Erica: I mean, I really hate ombre hair. The style of the hair is okay, though. Or would be, with a different dress/for a different event.
Kate: The dress isn’t even that great, but it would be ok without all this other nonsense. Ugh.
Kate: Honestly? Best I’ve ever seen her look. Absolutely love it, but would probably hate it on anyone else.
Erica: I like it fine. I do feel like she’s worn things that have wowed me in the past, and this doesn’t wow me, but it’s very nice.
Kate: I feel like this dress is so Rachel McAdams, like no one else could/would ever even think of wearing it. (That’s not a bad thing.)
Erica: I feel like you, specifically, would hate this dress on anyone else.
Kate: You’re probably right. The only thing I don’t like is the hair, again with the poofy front. It’s not cool anymore, gals!
Erica: Well, but we don’t like too severe, either. What should they do?
Kate: You can’t go wrong with tousled loose waves.
Kate: Oh, this is almost as bad as Natalie Dormer’s dress, but not quite.
Erica: I don’t feel that this has anything to do with Natalie Dormer’s dress, but I hate it.
Kate: Everyone’s all about these capes this year, but this one doesn’t look like it was supposed to be anywhere near this dress. And the dress material and pattern and swirling and shimmering are just wrong, wrong, wrong.
Erica: Yes about the cape and I say this as a full supporter of capes on the red carpet. Or, you know, wherever. Also, the dress, which is kind of dreadful, looks bad on her specifically. That is not at all the right silhouette for her figure.
Kate: Frightening. I saw this and was actually frightened.
Erica: I knew you would hate this. I saw this dress and thought, “If they ever write a textbook on Erica-and-Kate fashion opinions, this dress would represent the exact place where Kate and Erica completely disagree”.
Kate: The dress is the exact color of her skin, and it looks so awkward on her body, like she just really doesn’t want to be wearing it/doesn’t want to be there.
Erica: I do not mind the exact-color-of-skin thing, and I think the dress is romantic and interesting. Whether she wants to be wearing it/be at this award show is another issue entirely.
Kate: By that I mean it just doesn’t look right on her, and these ladies are all supposed to be looking effortlessly striking.
Kate: I am honestly not sure what this girl has done to earn herself a spot on the red carpet, but this is quite a lovely dress and she has quite a nice body. Can you guess what I don’t like about the overall look, though?
Erica: She’s the same color from head to toe?
Kate: Correct! I also think she looks alarmingly similar to Lala on Vanderpump Rules (seriously, WHAT is that name?).
Erica: It’s a name that says, “I want SO BADLY to be the slutty one on a reality show”.
Kate: Ah, then it’s working.
Kate: Nothing like a slinky black dress with a deep V, eh?
Kate: The slick hair and the red lip and the necklace all together may be a wee bit harsh, but overall she looks lovely. She always does.
Erica: What is she doing now? Because I would probably watch it, just for her adorability. If there’s one thing I got from this telecast, it’s that there’s a lot of good TV I’m not watching.
Kate: That trilogy of Chicago shows — Fire, PD, Med. None of which are Globes-worthy, though, so not sure how she scored the invite.
Taraji P. Henson
Kate: I love this, but it’s a wedding dress. A very sleek, modern wedding dress that doesn’t fit her so well around the middle, but a wedding dress nonetheless.
Erica: No, no, no, love it. Love white on darker ladies. Love its sleek fit. Love her hair and makeup. Love.
Kate: But why is she always making those crazy facial expressions on the red carpet? Does it have something to do with her Empire character?
Erica: Oh, no idea.
Kate: Ummm…She’s looked better.
Erica: She stole this dress from Adele.
Kate: Ooh good call! During the actual show I thought her new haircut looked great, but this overall look ages her a great deal. She kind of looks like Oprah, and not in a good way.
Erica: Yes! It does age her! I couldn’t put my finger on why I didn’t like it.
Kate: This is super lovely and really moved beautifully on camera, which you can’t really see in a still photo, but the sparkle was just a little too sparkly. Maybe if the sleeves were just plain sheer without the additional sparkle?
Erica: I like it. But I like capes. I also felt when she came out on stage, the audience saw her, applauded like they did everyone, and then the applause grew as they became more and more dazzled by the dress.
Kate: You might be right about that.
Kate: I feel like she’s kind of too small and too young to wear a dress like this, but it still looks really, really good.
Erica: No, I don’t like it. Like her hair and makeup. Okay with the color. Hate the lampshade effect. Also I feel it’s a little boring and that we’ve seen her be a little more wild, no?
Kate: I guess. So, Best Dressed goes to…?
Erica: Did we agree on anyone tonight? Want to give it to Helen Mirren?
Kate: I am super-duper OK with that! Worst Dressed?
Erica: Ugh. I can’t actually look at Maggie Gyllenhaal’s dress. Like, I can’t see it. It’s giving me some sort of stomach ache. So I guess her. Or Regina King.
Kate: Even more OK with that. Well that’s all folks, see you on Sunday, January 31 after the SAG Awards!