Emmys 2017

Kate: Well, this snuck up on us now didn’t it?!

Erica: Everything in my life is sneaking up on me. I feel like I am being hit by a never-ending series of steam trains.

Kate: It’s because we are usually done with SYTYCD at this point, but Fox is messing with our minds/schedules.

Erica: Sure. Let’s blame Fox. I didn’t watch the Emmys. I will, as soon as I have thirty seconds, watch Stephen Colbert’s opening monologue, because he’s wonderful. But I’m just looking at pictures.

Kate: I actually feel a bit out of it this year in terms of Emmy nominees, but not in terms of the fashion. I am always into the fashion. And with that…

 

Anna Chlumsky

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Kate: Oooooh! She is normally quite the mess at these things, but I love this dress. Sparkly/chrome-y mermaid-chic.

Erica: Holy moly. She looks good! I can’t believe she looks this good!

Kate: If the dress had been all the same color/material as the top or all the same color/material as the skirt, it would not have worked. Together, it works.

Erica: I mean, this is not my number one thing, although I would have actually preferred a more smooth transition from top to bottom, but I just can’t believe that she’s shown up looking like a normal, pretty celebrity and not like an insane human with no concept of what human bodies look like or what is visually appealing.

Kate: I would have done a more interesting hairstyle than just slicked-back-straight (which really looks like half-up in this photo), but overall I’m really happy with this.

 

Anna Faris

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Kate: I am so, so sad about her and Chris Pratt.

Erica: I know. Love is dead. It doesn’t exist. I knew it when Amy Poehler and Will Arnett broke up. But now I really know it.

Kate: I can tell she doesn’t even want to be here because she is sad as well, probably sadder than I am. (Also, she didn’t do the red carpet.)

Erica: She looks very beautiful. Very tiny. But very beautiful.

Kate: I do like this dress, though; that shade of pinky-purple, even with the red-ish sparkle, works well against her fair skin and hair. That being said, I don’t love the hair with the dress.

Erica: Well, the hair feels a little phoned in. But the color, which I usually prefer on brunettes, looks terrific. Plus she gets to stand next to Allison Janney so that’s a pretty good day.

 

Ariel Winter

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Kate: Oh my god, she’s naked. Why is she naked?

Erica: She usually goes pretty sexual. That’s a lot of leg.

Kate: She’s so pretty but this is really freaking me out. Those slits are way too high!

Erica: And these were not subtle, you-only-see-them-when-I-move slits. These were the kind of slits that were more present than the skirt.

 

Claire Foy

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Kate: Is that…Queen Elizabeth?! I almost didn’t recognize her!

Erica: Did you watch that show? Can we have many conversations about it? Can we talk about how both Prince Phillip and not-King-Edward whine A LOT about things that are the obvious and natural consequences of decisions they themselves made wholeheartedly?

Kate: Yes I like that show a lot. Season 2 is coming semi-soon! But I don’t like this pantsuit with the half-cape thing and silver knot. Not at all. She is pretty, this is not.

Erica: I hate all of the things happening on this outfit. All of them. I like the person in the outfit. But I hate the outfit.

 

Debra Messing

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Kate: So, Will & Grace is coming back. How about that?

Erica: I feel like maybe we are reaching peak revival time and should step back now. Hey, did you know Debra Messing is a Brandeis alum?

Kate: I did not! Her hair looks fantastic. But her eye makeup is too dark and something about her overall makeup on her face is off, and I really do not like the dress whatsoever. It looks like rubber, AND YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT BELTS.

Erica: The dress material is dreadful and overwhelming. The shape would be fine in another material. The hair is her hair which is great hair. But discussing anything about the look other than that fabric is very “But other than that, how did you like the play, Mrs. Lincoln?”

 

Elisabeth Moss

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Kate: The color of that dress with the color of her hair and her skin is just not good.

Erica: I don’t know that I mind that so much. I mean, it’s not perfect, but I’m not terribly upset about it.

Kate: I also don’t like the length at all — it looks like it was supposed to be floor-length (in which case it would have been boring) and they literally just chopped it. Shoes are too matchy-matchy.

Erica: It looks way too young for her. And I mean that in a very non-bitchy way, because I think the very last day this look would be appropriate would be your Sweet 16.

 

Ellie Kemper

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Kate: Ugh, I still have not finished the latest season of Kimmy Schmidt! Who/what am I turning into?

Erica: It was good but not great.

Kate: I love this, though. It’s a modern, bedazzled version of a kimono, but not in a bad way. It looks great on her — the color, the sparkle, even the slightly mussy updo. I especially love the pink earrings; they really pop against the blueness dress in the most perfect way. (This picture doesn’t do it justice; it looked phenomenal during the preshow.)

Erica: I like it but I don’t love it. I think the sheerness is too sheer such that the difference between the skirt and the bodice is too stark, and then the sheerness on the bottom looks weird with shoes. I think there should be more glittery stuff on the bottom to mask the shoes. I do, however, like the colorful beading and the overall color and silhouette on her.

Kate: I swear, it’s just a bad photo that is not doing it justice.

 

Emmy Rossum

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Kate: Perfection, as usual. Looking a little Anne Hathaway-esque, no?

Erica: For me, this is a little boring. Beautiful, but boring. Her eye makeup game is perfection, though.

 

Evan Rachel Wood

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Kate: Has she ever NOT worn a tuxedo-like thing on the red carpet?

Erica: I think it’s her thing now. I have to say, this might be my favorite iteration.

Kate: I think it’s her thing always, which is ok, because she looks good in them. I love the color of this one, and her hair is in the perfect updo with perfect makeup. A tuxedo-like thing is almost never going to make it onto my Best Dressed list, though. Call me old-fashioned, but it’s the truth.

Erica: You are a little old-fashioned. I’m quite impressed with this look.

 

Gina Rodriguez

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Kate: She looks pretty, but this is just too beauty pageant-y. Just too.

Erica: I have been told I should watch her show. I really hate this dress but I’m sure her show is good.

 

Heidi Klum

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Kate: Ok so it’s NOT crazy like the Big Bird outfit or the lavender monstrosity, and I like her hair like that, but this dress is very I’m-at-a-private-dinner-at-a-super-fabulous-resort-in-Mexico. And it’s good for that, but the Emmys are not a private dinner at a fancy resort in Mexico.

Erica: Yeah, I would say, I’m into the hair but the dress is…If even I think there’s too much boob, there’s too much boob.

Kate: I am also NOT into the enormous bangles covering half her arms and the hoop earrings down to her shoulders. Tacky.

Erica: Oh, I kind of am into them. For a fancy resort in Mexico.

Kate: Which this is not!

 

Jane Krakowski

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Kate: Va-va-voom!

Erica: I mean, the dress, yes, but also that bob looks perfection.

Kate: This is very wonderful and very much a LOOK with the straight sleek angled bob and and deep V and blackness of the dress. AND BEFORE YOU SAY ANYTHING, I know there is a little belt buckle there, but I think it is part of the dress and not an additional piece and therefore (mostly) acceptable. I would probably like the dress better without it, though.

Erica: Yeah, I understand the belt buckle thing but I wish it were not red. And I am not persuaded that it is necessary at all.

Kate: Also, when I was looking at E!’s red carpet coverage on their site, they had spelled her last name “Krasowski” at first, and I felt superior. Still kind of do.

 

Jessica Biel

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Kate: Oh my, she is very teeny-tiny. I have always admired her for having the perfect body in terms of muscle tone and proportion, but she is a little on the skinny side for me right now. Lurve the dress, but it only works on her newly skinnier frame, I think. I also feel like the Fashion Police (the real ones, not us) will absolutely hate it because it looks “unfinished” or “too drapey” or “like 2 dresses slapped together”.

Erica: Oh I love so much this look. They would not be wrong about the two dresses, but I love the drape and I love the hair and I love the makeup and I love the softness.

Kate: Always great makeup with her. Hair is a bit poofy up top — this dress calls for something sleeker, I think — but overall a soft, lovely look.

Erica: I like it. I like the poofy. She looks like she’s the dream version of somebody’s crush object in a movie.

 

Julia Louis-Dreyfus

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Kate: Julia you sexy little sneak, not doing the red carpet even though you KNEW you would be on stage because you KNEW you would win AGAIN!

Erica: Good on her. For winning, I mean. She really is the best. J is doing a whole re-watching of all of the Seinfelds (God bless you, Hulu, for the good work you do) and I don’t watch all of them but damn, she is wonderful.

Kate: While this is obviously part of her standard look, I like the pops of color with the golden embroidery and turquoise earrings, and I like that she did her hair a little looser/wilder than usual. She can just never do any wrong for me.

Erica: Yeah, this is one of my favorite iterations of her usual. I really love the gold embroidery.

 

Julie Bowen

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Kate: I had no idea this was Julie Bowen at first. What has happened to her? Is she okay?

Erica: Her face does not look okay.

Kate: This dress — the color and the gigantic ruffle — is completely swallowing her. I hate it.

Erica: I mean, for her, it’s not bad. She’s definitely done worse.

 

Kate McKinnon

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Kate: Has she worn this before? Or something very similar? All they had to do was show the bottom of the dress and I had a feeling it was her.

Erica: I…There is something familiar here, yes. But I’m not sure it was her?

Kate: Regardless, she looks great. She has found what works on her and is sticking to it. Her hair looks very elegant; makeup and jewelry are perfectly understated. Best Dressed nominee?

Erica: Oh, I don’t know. She looks good but uninteresting.

 

Kiernan Shipka

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Kate: Mad Men is OVER, what is she still doing here?

Erica: I mean, I hope she has a good reason to be here.

Kate: Sorry, that came out angrier than I intended. Oh, she was in Feud, so that’s why. This is very princessy and cute. I don’t like her hair.

Erica: This is strangely young for her. It looks like something she would have worn to one of her first Emmys. I don’t much like it but I don’t hate it.

 

Laverne Cox

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Kate: Ian and I were not impressed with the last season of OITNB, thus we have not watched the newest one, but that will not stop me from reviewing the show’s stars’ fashion. This is fabulous as usual from Laverne.

Erica: I did not like this season. I knew it was going to be hard for me to like a season that did not have Poussey. But also, what OITNB was good at was taking these characters who would be so easy to dismiss as nothing more than jailbirds and making them real people. This past season, they mostly made them jokes. It was a betrayal of the premise.

Kate: Yikes. The only thing I don’t really like/don’t think goes with the rest of the dress is the straps.

Erica: Oh, yeah, because they are ruffly and the dress has the geometric thing going. It’s too bad because the silhouette looks stunning on her and, for my personal taste, I’d rather that the dress go with the sleeves than that the sleeves go with the dress. I also don’t love the deep-roots hair look but I have obviously lost that fashion battle.

 

Lea Michele

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Kate: Ugh, I just said during Debra Messing’s critique that I hate belts, and then my fave Brad Goreski had to go and style Lea with a belt. Dammit, Brad!

Erica: Dammit, Brad! It’s a bad use of belt, too.

Kate: I like the rest of the dress, though, even though it’s a print (kind of). Good color. She still takes herself too seriously.

Erica: I like the color a lot, and I like the color on her. I do not like the hair. And also, isn’t Glee off the air? What is she still doing here?

Kate: Brad keeps styling her, so she keeps showing up to these events.

 

Leslie Jones

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Kate: With her build I probably would have gone with something a little simpler and sleeker. This just has way too much going on with the sparkle and the sheer and the slit and the long earrings.

Erica: I feel like it’s just bordering on an ice dancer dress. Although that could be fixed by just taking the sheer panel off the top. And, again, I think the super sheer skirt with the shoes just looks weird. But I like the femininity for her.

 

Mandy Moore

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Kate: Nope. Nope, nope nope.

Erica: Oooh I hate this so much in its entirety except maybe the pop of pink lip.

Kate: She is either super-amazing or super-awful on the red carpet, there is no in between with her. I hate this so much. It’s the top of a Jessica McClintock prom dress circa 2005 with the skirt of an unfinished ballet costume over the underskirt of a Gone with the Wind Halloween costume.

Erica: I hate this dress. A lot.

Kate: Just nope. Worst Dressed nominee.

 

Michelle Pfeiffer

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Kate: Stephanie Zinone coming out of the woodwork here, eh? Why is she there all of a sudden?

Erica: Isn’t she married to someone? Like, a business side guy?

Kate: Oh, she was in The Wizard of Lies about Madoff. Well, she looks quite nice, a little bit like Kelly Ripa but softer/less scary-skinny. I really like what she’s doing with her hair.

Erica: I don’t like the dress, though. Tea length. Long sleeve. High neck. Weird waist. Not for me.

Kate: Not for YOU, for Stephanie Zinone!

 

Nicole Kidman

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Kate: This feels a bit too Oscars for me, even with the shorter length. She looks absolutely stunning in red, I just don’t think it fits the occasion, especially next to her Big Little Lies co-star Reese Witherspoon, who is wearing a short dark turquoise blazer-dress.

Erica: I like it.

Kate: I also don’t like the silver things dangling from the neck — designer, you could have done the gown without them. (They looked worse during the preshow than in this photo.)

Erica: Maybe it’s because of those stupid f-ing parrots at last year’s SAG Awards, but this, I think looks so good on her and so lovely.

Kate: Perfect hair and makeup and jewelry. I don’t even mind that the lipstick matches the dress so perfectly.

 

Priyanka Chopra

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Kate: I get that this is super high-fashion and couture and all that jazz, and I even kind of like it (on her), but I can’t help but sweat just looking at her. How is she not overheating?

Erica: No, I hate it a lot.

Kate: Her hair and makeup and jewelry are always fabulous, so no complaints there. Just…So sweaty.

Erica: Hate it. Hate feathers. Hate high necks and long sleeves and weird, not-working-together-at-all bling on the collar and sleeve with the bling all over. Hate.

 

Rashida Jones

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Kate: Wow. Very, very beautiful.

Erica: I love the color and cut of it. I wish there was not that weird space between her boobs and her midriff.

Kate: That’s because you hate cutouts, but I think it works here. I really am not into bangs, but I know it’s her thing, and I like them a lot better with this slightly shorter haircut. The dress reminds me of something Mila Kunis wore many years ago, and the whole look is very softer-side-of-Cleopatra. Best Dressed nominee!

Erica: Yes. I knew there was someone with a similar dress. I support the bangs on her; I’m assuming there’s something awful about her forehead.

Kate: In the episodes of The Office that she’s on, when her bangs are pushed back away from her face, it really does look odd.

 

Reese Witherspoon

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Kate: I just watched Sweet Home Alabama for the 785th time, and she was just on Watch What Happens Live promoting her new movie Home Again, and I just never stop loving her. She’s so darling.

Erica: Oh, yeah, we watched her on that. She and Candice Bergen both obviously thought that Andy Cohen was an idiot.

Kate: THEY DID NOT AND HE IS NOT! I’m not super into this look, especially since her hair extensions don’t look well done, but I like that she did something out of her comfort zone and far from her usual red carpet look. It just doesn’t look that good.

Erica: I like the color a lot and I think it’s cut well and fits great. It’s just kinda weird. I’m not super into it. Love her, though.

 

Regina King

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Kate: Wow, I kind of love this? Not her hair, at least not in this photo, but the dress is great. Even though it’s a print! See, I’m growing as a person.

Erica: I like the dress but why is everyone doing that thing with their hair? The slick on top, sort of half wavy on the bottom thing? I don’t like it.

Kate: Nor do I.

 

Sarah Hyland

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Kate: This is perhaps the most awkwardly placed and shaped cutout I have ever seen. Do you hate it extra much?

Erica: Yes. I hate it as much as I hate all the cutouts, plus this one is extra weird.

Kate: I also hate the leaf print, the color(s) and whatever odd makeup/surgical things she has done to her face. And I am disappointed to learn that Brad Goreski styled her as well. Maybe he’s not actually my favorite?

Erica: Yeah, she’s WAY too young to make you wonder who did her work.

 

Sarah Paulson

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Kate: I find this to be as daring and high-fashion and couture as Priyanka Chopra’s dress, and I think it looks equally hot and sweaty in there.

Erica: Hate. Hate. Hate it all. Hate it so much. Worst Dressed nominee.

Kate: I don’t like the length, but I like the short low pony and I LOVE the makeup. Love.

Erica: Hate.

 

Shailene Woodley

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Kate: I honestly could start to like this dress if I tried, even though I don’t like velvet, but I can’t because the awful hair and makeup are way too distracting.

Erica: Her hair is really distractingly awful. The dress, I feel, is fine. Not good. Just fine.

Kate: I do not think she is aging well. I KNOW SHE IS STILL YOUNG, I just mean, I don’t think she is looking better as she gets past each birthday, as many normal human beings do. I think she is looking worse and worse.

Erica: I feel like maybe it’s that she doesn’t wear makeup well. And she wears her hair stupidly.

 

Sofia Vergara

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Kate: My dislike for her decreased recently after watching Hot Pursuit (another reason I continue to love Reese Witherspoon) — it was actually, like, laugh-out-loud funny. It’s not hard to make me laugh out loud, but I was pleasantly surprised.

Erica: Huh. I did not have any urge to watch it but that is quite an endorsement.

Kate: I mean, it’s silly, but who cares? Anyway, this dress is very Sofia — like, she maybe has worn this exact thing before in many different colors — but the hair is not. I do not like the bangs at all, but I like that she went for a high pony. The earrings are too heavy and dark for the rest of the look.

Erica: I feel like this dress is her thing and it’s a good example of her thing. I do like the hair but I do not like the earrings.

Kate: I also think a paler, nuder lip would have gone better with the bright white gown. More elegant.

 

Susan Sarandon

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Kate: I mean, she looks like her. Dressed-up her. She almost always wears this dress in navy blue or black, right?

Erica: I’m mad at her right now. I mean, she looks fine. But I’m mad.

Kate: Care to elaborate?

Erica: She was a never Hillary person who was all, “Well, if the revolution comes as a result of Trump winning this election, then great! Bring on the revolution.” And that’s all I want to say about that.

 

Uzo Aduba

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Kate: This looks quite bad.

Erica: The dress is not good. I don’t like whatever is happening at her waist.

Kate: I don’t like the white, I don’t like the silver vertical stripes, I don’t like that it’s 2 pieces, I don’t like any of it at all.

Erica: I like her hair like that.

 

Vanessa Bayer

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Kate: Her hair and makeup and jewelry all look great, and I suppose the silhouette of the gown is ok, but, again, I hate the print. A lot. It looks like curtains. In a really old, ugly house.

Erica: I think it looks like what the teacher chaperone wears to the prom. Well, the young, single teacher. Who is hoping the recently divorced head of the English department notices her.

 

Viola Davis

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Kate: Oooh I LOVE that color!!!

Erica: Yes! And it is only good for women of her hue.

Kate: The dress silhouette is a safe choice and also her usual taste, but I feel like we have not really seen this color on the carpet ever before, and I’m all for it.

Erica: She has a thing and she does it well. In this case, very, very well.

Kate: Alas, Best Dressed?

Erica: God, I don’t know. Even the people I liked weren’t that interesting. Except Evan Rachel Wood, but I respect your No-Non-Dresses-on-the-Best-Dressed rule. Maybe Jessica Biel? Who do you want to give it to?

Kate: You know what, let’s give it to Evan Rachel Wood! (I said a tuxedo-like thing is ALMOST never going to make it onto my Best Dressed list. This moment is almost never.) Worst?

Erica: SARAH PAULSON I HATE IT SO MUCH I HATE IT.

Kate: Oh, no, I don’t hate it as much as you do. Shailene Woodley?

Erica: I don’t hate that nearly as much as I hate Sarah Paulson’s. Priyanka Chopra or Mandy Moore?

Kate: OH yes, Mandy! See you at the Globes, folks!

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