Erica: Welcome to the Emmys, where I learn that a) I watch A LOT of television, and b) I’m not watching nearly enough television.
Kate: Same and same. Blame it on Bravo.
Erica: I wish it was full length, but it’s so rare I like formal wear for the more zaftig like me and I did like this quite a bit.
Kate: Yep I actually really love this, I think it’s a great style on her and I even like the sparkly cupcake princessy-ness of it. Just a bit overwhelmed by all the fake hair.
Erica: She won so I felt like we had to include her, especially because I think she’s fabulous. And she did a little strip tease to come up to the stage, which was funny, and then it was incredibly obvious that she was not, as she said, wearing a bra. But I like the dress.
Kate: Yes, I like that she pointed that out right away because she knew fashion police officers such as us would say something about it.
Erica: Also, the Art Deco earrings that so exactly matched the look of the dress and the hair and all were very special.
Kate: Yes, I don’t love this type of dress and it feels a bit dated — wasn’t this trendy a few years ago? — but it looks nice on her.
Erica: Completely ridiculous and horrid, right?
Kate: In this photo, yes, but I saw only the top half during the broadcast and thought it was kind of ok if a little Easter egg-y. She just, you know, looks like Rory.
Erica: I mean, it’s a lot, but I like that it’s a lot. She’s been liking dramatic sleeves, hasn’t she?
Kate: Oh my, yes it is a lot. I don’t love her new hair color.
Erica: Her style is not my thing, but it is a thing, a good thing, and she usually pulls it off rather well. In addition to being a delight of a human being.
Kate: Oh, no, this makes her head look ridiculously small, and it’s so so so so so so beauty pageant-y. And I don’t like the hair at all!
Erica: I hate the length but other than that, I think she looks great.
Kate: Oh so I thought she looked absolutely gorgeous and very elegant during the broadcast but the look is falling flat in photos for sure.
Erica: The woman is gorgeous but cannot dress. I am so confused by her.
Kate: Oh but the HAIR is the HAIR! The hair!!
Erica: Lovely shade. What is she up to?
Kate: I think it’s actually quite a risky shade but indeed it looks lovely on her, despite having a belt. Hair is a little too messy for me, though, and earrings are a little too matchy-matchy. During the broadcast her makeup looked lovely.
Erica: I mean, I hate her hair color right now, but otherwise, refreshingly lovely.
Kate: When she presented an award I was stunned by this dress, kind of like a modern Jessica Rabbit thing. I don’t even mind the length. But it is definitely ruined by the hair.
Kate: She is just the cutest thing. This isn’t going to, like, change the face of fashion, but I think it’s perfect for her in every way.
Erica: She looks a little slimmer than usual. I really love the dress. I actually think it is somewhat more innovative than it looks on first glance. The silhouette is very classically glam, the fabric is kind of cutesy, and the ruffles are just the right amount of imperfect.
Kate: I want to dislike this dress, but I don’t. I find it interesting. I just don’t like those front hairs with those light streaks, or anything else about her hair for that matter.
Erica: I don’t really like the dress. She’s so pretty so it’s hard to make her look bad, but the dress looks kind of cheap and weird and doesn’t highlight her in the best way it could.
Erica: I don’t have much to say about her outfit (the jacket could be better fitted), but her makeup is spot on.
Erica: I kind of love it. Very glam. I don’t know what has inspired her to stop dressing like an escapee from the Capital of Panem, but I’m glad.
Kate: Um, yes, this is what I always want from Heidi. Perfection.
Erica: I thought I liked it when she was sitting down, so I looked up pictures, and now I don’t. I feel like the bodice doesn’t fit quite right, and I’m trying to embrace the skirt-over-pants thing, but the skirt’s too long and it doesn’t look proportionate.
Kate: Oh, I think I didn’t even realize these were pants. Ok, I get it, but yeah it needed some more work before being red carpet ready. Great makeup, though.
Erica: I still think she has one of the prettiest smiles in the whole wide world.
Erica: So, a) what is she in?, and b) this is quite a dress. I think I mean that as a compliment. It’s somehow both feminine and modern and I like that. She also looks way young. Isn’t she older than me? By, like, a year?
Kate: She is in a show about some kind of murder, IDK, but this dress is f l a w L E S S, as is the whole entire look. She was one of the first people I saw on the red carpet, and I instantly thought “Best Dressed!”
Kate: Well, that’s quite the pose, and quite the color. I feel weird critiquing her because she’s old.
Erica: Fine, I’ll do it. I hate it. I hate that color on light-skinned women. I don’t like turtlenecks in general and it looks particularly weird with the cape. The sleeves are too long for the bracelets, and the skirt looks too loose when her legs are together and too tight when they’re apart. This is not a criticism of her as a human. Just her dress.
Kate: This is cute and all but her opening number outfit was sooooo much better (thank goodness because the opening number was sooooo not good), and of course I cannot find a photo of the full thing now.
Erica: The jacket and pants and pumps look fantastic but also kinda casual? The Emmys strike me as the event at which no one has decided what level of formality they’re going for.
Kate: I just love the fit of the jacket and pants, and those PUMPS were my favorite part.
Kate: Everyone is doing this front-and-back mini/maxi thing and I have to say I am NOT loving it. AM loving her smoky makeup, though.
Erica: Yes. Makeup, gorgeous. Dress? I don’t even understand. It’s more than just the mini/maxi thing, it’s the fact that it’s one leg each, with, like, the feathers? I don’t know. I don’t get it.
Kate: I saw a glambotcam thing of her on Instagram before watching the red carpet or Emmys itself, and I was like, DAMN. She looks insanely good!
Erica: I love her red carpet dress. I hate her opening number dress. (She looks good either way, because she’s an adorable magic pixie. Also I love “The Good Place.”)
Kate: Yes I’m glad she chose the white dress for the red carpet, even if it meant she changed into the fringey thing, like, immediately, but I didn’t HATE the fringey thing.
Erica: Fascinating hair decision.
Kate: Oh. Fascinating…Everything decision?
Erica: Yeah, I didn’t see the whole thing during the arrivals special. This is really terrible.
Erica: I mean, what am I supposed to say? It is clearly the look she was going for.
Kate: I don’t mind the shape of this little lady tux for her, but I of course mind the color(s) — did she and Alexis want to together look like an Easter egg dye kit?
Erica: I think that’s a possible yes.
Kate: Aidy Bryant is the only one who successfully pulled off the pastels, it seems.
Erica: I just want long dresses to hit the floor, more or less. Not the ankle.
Kate: Yep, saw this from waist up at first and loved it — especially the hair and makeup — but everything south of the waist is upsetting.
Erica: So she had one not terrific dress on the red carpet, and then an even more terrible – and like, really terrible – look for the stage. What is up with that?
Kate: Oh I kind of find this interesting? Am I ok?
Erica: You know, I did not at all expect you to like this. I think you are broadening your horizons. And the truth is, it’s a lot of things that could go wrong very quickly, but didn’t. Craftsmanship matters.
Kate: Yeah. Somehow, it works.
Millie Bobby Brown
Erica: Oh my goodness it’s insane but she is young and she should have a good time.
Kate: Well yeah the shape is insane but I feel like daring and interesting enough that I’m not mad at it. L O V E THOSE S H O E S.
Kate: DAYUM GIRL. DAYUM.
Erica: I mean, she already looks like Padma Lakshmi. So that was a pretty big bonus. But then she dressed the Padma Lakshmi of her to perfection.
Kate: How does someone always look THAT good?
Erica: By the way, the blue ribbon is for supporting the ACLU. In case you’re curious.
Erica: She always goes fairy princess, doesn’t she?
Kate: Do you mean…Feather princess?
Erica: A swan princess. I mean, she’s still gorgeous and if that’s what she wants to do, then she should do it.
Kate: I don’t like her obviously very fake high pony.
Erica: Kate, have you watched “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel”?
Kate: No but it won everything last night so maybe I should. This looks like a less-fabulous version of Padma’s dress. During the show I thought this looked pretty great, but in the photo/after seeing Padma, mmmmmnotsomuch.
Erica: You should. It’s terrific and she’s amazing. Anyway, I think this dress probably looked better in person than it did on TV. I don’t love the waist, but otherwise, it looks quite beautifully made. Flowy and structural at the same time. And red on a girl with dark hair and pale skin is A+.
Erica: As we have established, this color dress is only acceptable on darker-skinned ladies.
Kate: Yes and I actually love this on her, the structure of the top looks really cool with the back.
Erica: Zoe and I want to know what is up with her hair.
Kate: I think that’s what she usually does with her hair?
Erica: It seemed to have calmed down between the red carpet and the stage show. The dress is okay. I like the color.
Kate: It’s not my favorite.
Erica: She’s pretty funny. I don’t think I fully understood that. Or maybe I forgot.
Kate: She was one of the best characters on Grey’s — yes I still watch that and I will until the day I die.
Kate: Fierce. Duh.
Erica: Yeah, she looks amazing. I feel like this is a really great dress. The sculptural take on glamorous silhouette, with an almost beachy casualness – I like it. I feel like most of the ladies are bringing it tonight. Or that at least there’s less boring than usual.
Kate: It looks quite tricky to, like, keep in place throughout the night, but, yeah. Fierce.
Taraji P. Henson
Erica: I do not like this at all. I do not like anything about it. I do not like the pattern. I do not like the dress-mullet bottom, and I do not like the high neck and long sleeves. I must say, given how much I hate the dress, that I do not think she looks terrible. So.
Kate: See, it’s the mini/maxi thing again! Definitely not my favorite look on her; the pattern is making me dizzy.
Kate: Probably my favorite other than Jessica Biel. I think this is absolute perfection. My only thing is it looks better with the drapey thing behind her than actually draped over her shoulder, but, wow. Wow wow wow.
Erica: Ooh I love it. The drapey thing is so dramatic and the color is so beautiful and so much fun.
Kate: I also think she could have gone with a SLIGHTLY more understated earring, but overall really freakin’ love this.
Erica: I’m cool with the earrings. She’s in my top 10 — maybe top five — for prettiest person in the universe (not counting people to whom I am blood related).
Kate: Also, it’s pronounced “Tandy” not “Thandy”, which I learned last night.
Erica: I don’t care; I love it. It’s the kind of thing I would have dreamed of wearing when I was eight.
Kate: Everyone on the interwebs was making fun of her for looking like that giant rainbow thing we used to play with at camp or in elementary school and I obviously see the similarities but…I don’t hate it. It looks well made and flowy and pretty and comfortable.
Erica: Yes! It does look like the parachutes you play with as a tot! And that’s what I love about it! And I love how much she loves it.
Kate: She’s back to not doing great at these things. It’s kind of a lesser version of Mandy Moore’s dress, no?
Erica: That’s pretty bad. I don’t know. Is it really in the same category? But it’s terrible. The belt, the lace, the weird shimmeryness — all terrible.
Tracee Ellis Ross
Kate: Need I even make the Pepto-Bismol / Bubble Yum references, or are we good here?
Erica: There is a stunning woman under all of that nonsense, I swear.
Kate: So, best dressed is obviously Jessica Biel and Thandie Newton, yes?
Erica: I actually want to give it to Jessica Biel. Thandie looks gorgeous but I’m so impressed by the creativity of Jessica Biel’s dress.
Kate: Totally fair. And worst dressed?
Erica: Laura Dern? I mean, she’s a great actress and an institution and obviously she does not have to give a blank, but that’s a terrible look.
Kate: Ok, see y’all after the Golden Globes!