SAGs 2013

Erica: We are only a very tiny bit late with this, but I think late is better than never, right?

Kate: Right-o

Jane Lynch 

Erica: So, I hate this dress. I love Jane Lynch, of course, but I hate this dress. I hate it both as an item in and of itself, and also how it looks on her, making her torso look all frumpy and weird. BUT…

Erica: …Her makeup is perfection. And that’s saying something on a night when everyone else went with either Best Lil’ Whorehouse in Texas or Vampire.

Kate: Agreed! That looks like something for someone much younger than Jane, but it would look terrible on anyone I think.

Jaimie Alexander

Kate: I am quite impressed by this construction, but um who is she??

Erica: You know, this is the kind of thing that works. Because I am irritated by dresses where your main thought is, seriously, how much double-sided tape is she using, and also I am irritated by the superfluous “i” in her name. Typically, girls are Jaime (from the French J’aime, meaning “I love”) and boys are Jamie (because it’s a nickname for James), and she’s gone with both and that’s just irritating. But I didn’t know who she was before and now she exists in my consciousness so she did exactly what she and her stylist and her publicist want her to do.

Kate: Well, don’t you think her parents went with both and she did not have much of a say in the matter?

Erica: No. I do not think that’s what happened.

Jennifer Lawrence

Erica: It’s not easy to see here, but I noticed on SNL, this baby got back. In a totally hot way.

Kate: Ian said the exact same thing, which I took very well. I really love this dress and color, I am eh on the necklace, and I wish her hair had been different.

Erica: Really? I’m kind of digging the hair.

Kaley Cuoco

Erica: Oh my goodness is she ill? What happened to her head?

Kate: YIKES! HORRID! What is with that length?

Katrina Bowden

Erica: Whereas I’m not so sure I know who she is, but I love this dress.

Kate: Me too! Accessories are too matchy-matchy, though.

Erica: You’re not wrong. But seriously, who is this? She looks exactly like what’s-her-name who played the slutty cousin in The Wedding Singer, but I know that’s not her.

Kate: Apparently she is on 30 Rock.

Erica: Oh! I do know who she is!

Kelli Garner

Erica: Kate, look out! It’s a peplum!

Kate: I do not have enough time in my day to go through everything that is wrong with this.

Kerry Washington

Erica: This is one of the first times I’ve liked her red carpet look. Did I tell you I saw her on Bill Maher? She was so fabulous; I was way more impressed with her intellect, charm, and humor than I expected to be.

Kate: But it’s almost a direct copy of Anne Hathaway’s Golden Globes dress which, may I point out, you did not like!

Erica: Yeah, you may have a point. Speaking of whom…

Anne Hathaway

 

Kate: I admit I do not love this one bit, but I am still reeling from my Les Mis experience so I will refrain from saying anything else.

Erica: I feel like, bra. That is all.

Amanda Seyfried

 

Kate: I would completely and absolutely love this if it weren’t for the necklace that looks it like it’s from Claire’s. WHAT stylist allowed that to happen!?

Erica: This was Zoe’s favorite.

Kate: Also kind of similar to Jennifer Lawrence’s, no?

Erica: Not so much. I mean, they both went with strapless and colors that could be described as “dark blue,” but other than that . . .

Kate: Well yea, that’s what I meant.

Jessica Chastain

 

Kate: “Not a total Betty but a vast improvement.”

Erica: Ha! Yeah.

Kate: What I mean is, she looks much better here than she did at the Golden Globes, but it was a fairly boring choice and I thought you weren’t supposed to wear dresses the same color as your hair?

Erica: That said, I love the color of her hair.

Sophia Vergara

 

Kate: I wanted to include her because this is the first time I think she looks almost bad on the red carpet. I think the dress is ill fitted, not her usual style and a stupid color.

Erica: It’s a terrible material, is what it is. It’s really cheap-looking. And the top looks like if she doesn’t keep her arms in exactly that position, it’ll all fall down. Shoes are kinda cute, if wedding-y, though.

Kiernan Shipka

Kate: I am not even remotely kidding when I say I think she wins best dressed of the night by a mile. She looks adorable, I love the color and pattern and length; it’s like a juniors’ Audrey dress. Flippy cute hair, understated makeup (I mean how much should a girl her age be wearing anyway?), no jewelry except for studs, and she is even rockin’ some thick eyebrows a la me when I was that age. I absolutely LOVE it!

Erica: I like you with thicker eyebrows.

Kate: But don’t you love this?!

Erica: Yes! I do!

Sally Field

 

Kate: I really like this color, but mostly for vacation ensembles as opposed to the red carpet. And if possible, the length/style of the gown makes her look even shorter. And I don’t like her hair. Nice material, though.

Erica: I really feel terrible saying this but I think it’s too young for her. The color and the design are very girlish, which kind of highlights that she’s not so girlish anymore. I don’t mean to be all, “Leave the pretty dresses to the young people, Sally Field, you old bag!” I’m not thinking she should cover up more or anything. I just think . . . yeah. Girlish dress.  Pretty. But girlish.

Claire Danes

 

Kate: Do not like at all. Dammit Angela.

Erica: She best exemplified the Vampire make-up choice of the evening.

Kate: I have yet to see anyone who looks remotely good in that dark purple/red lipstick – actresses, models and friends included (sorry if I’m offending anyone, but seriously look in the mirror).

Marion Cotillard

 

Kate: For reasons unbeknownst to me I kind of love this.

Erica: Yeah, I’m normally against color-blocked evening wear but this is very nice.

Kate: I know it almost looks like an old Jessica McClintock prom dress, but I really like the contrast of the two colors and even the cut of the dress in front, and her hair is very classy. She is quite gorgeous.

Erica: She could have done better with the shoes, though.

Kate: Yes. The darker the blue, the further away you stay from black.

Nina Dobrev

 

Kate: I don’t really know or care who this girl is (Vampire Diaries?) but I wanted to include her because she is a very close runner-up for my best dressed. I don’t think anyone of any different shape or size can pull off that t-shirt/column style, but I love how the slits break up the bright color and I love the bright color. And the earrings and the hair.

Erica: Yeah, she’s not well-known to me but she looks really good. She’s extraordinarily pretty, too, if in a “I could totally play Lolita” way.

Kate: Yea, so she and Kiernan win best dressed, and Kaley wins worst.

Erica: Well, that’s it from us for today. But listen, faithful readers – my dad saw something on Colbert Report about some other fashion bloggers who went viral or something and is mad that Kate and I have not. So, to make an old man happy, will you please, if you like our fashion commentary, send this link out to, like, everyone you’ve ever met? Thanks!

Kate: And don’t forget about our own Super Bowl of fashion, the Oscars, on February 24^th (post to come the next day or the day after that)!

So What Did I Think of Les Mis?

I know that, a month after its release, y’all are dying to know.

The thing was, I couldn’t really think about Les Mis while I was watching Les Mis. Because I was sobbing uncontrollably. I always had a somewhat weepy reacting to Fantine, even when I was a teenager, but the combined powers of now I have a daughter and omg Anne Hathaway was magnificent (and BOY did that filming-the-songs-live thing really work here) meant I really couldn’t stop crying. I know everyone got weepy at this movie, but y’all probably went home and said, “Yeah, I cried, sure. But you should have heard this lady three rows behind me, oh, my God.” I was that lady three rows behind you. Sorry.

And then when we left, we were going home and Zoe was sleeping at her grandparents, but I just couldn’t take it and FaceTimed with her from the car, because for serious, I couldn’t handle it. I would have insisted on picking her up, but her aunts were visiting from San Francisco and she doesn’t get to see them very often, so I didn’t. So, thank you, Apple, for allowing me to FaceTime on the fly like that, and Tara and Gabrielle, know I love you guys and want you to have a relationship with my daughter and that’s the only reason we didn’t drive back right then and take her back.

Anyway. What did I think?

Overall, I thought they did a good job translating the musical to the screen. I mean, it was pretty much exactly what I expected to see on screen. And Hugh Jackman, Anne Hathaway, Sasha Baron Cohen (who, the whole time, I was going, “That looks an awful lot like Sasha Baron Cohen. But it can’t be, right? Because he’s doing a really good job and he can sing? Can Sasha Baron Cohen do a really good job and sing?” But yes, as it turns out, he can.), Helena Bonham Carter, and Samantha Barks (who played Eponine, on stage and screen, and apparently won the part over Taylor Swift, according to IMDB, which . . . I should hope so? I mean, I’m sure that Taylor Swift REALLY IDENTIFIES with “On My Own”, because she’s a dumb teenage twit like we were all once dumb teenage twits, but come the fuck on.) were all un-fucking-believable. And Russell Crowe . . . look, I believe he really wanted to be good. I do. I don’t think he was phoning it in. He just . . . can’t sing. I mean, he can’t sing like you need Javert to be able to sing. And yeah, I was disappointed by it because Javert is my favorite character and I would have really loved to see someone who could knock it out of the park play him, someone who could really go toe-to-toe with Hugh Jackman. But I wasn’t really surprised that he couldn’t do it.

And Hugh Jackman? Oh, my God. I say this as someone who doesn’t find him particularly attractive, who is not just squeeing like a fangirl because he’s so cute or anything, but he was amazing. Just amazing. The thing about Valjean is, I always felt sympathetic towards him, of course, but I’ve never felt particularly compelled by him. I think that’s because he’s usually played by a Great Man of the Theatre type, so you get the impression that, even while he’s on the run, stealing silver from bishops and whatnot, he’s still Monsieur le Mayor, Great and Powerful Citizen, Kind and Compassionate and Morally Upright Leader, inside, even if circumstances in his life don’t allow him to live like that all the time. Also, I mean, it’s the theater, you can’t always see faces so well. Whereas with Hugh Jackman, you could really feel all of the transitions the character made, how he really was this sort of feral criminal until he felt forgiven and seen and blessed by the bishop, how much he loved but felt insecure in his role as Monsieur le Mayor, community pillar, and how he felt the loss of that role when he had to go on the run again, but couldn’t be who he was when he was 24601 anymore. Very powerful performance.

I did get annoyed at some of the changes from the show, which is not to say that adaptations must never change their source material, but just that I disagreed with these changes. The big thing for me was that Eponine in the show gets shot after having delivered, at Marius’s request, the letter to Cosette that Valjean intercepts; in the movie, they have Gavroche deliver that letter; Eponine gets shot on the barricade, fighting next to – and saving the life of? – Marius. This in combination with a bit I’m fairly sure wasn’t in the show where Marius plays chicken with the French soldiers and a keg of gunpowder was supposed to make Marius look more like a genuine hero and less like a clueless, useless dipshit. That annoyed me. I was perfectly comfortable in my general hatred of Marius and I didn’t need the movie to try to make me like him more. Also, it means something that Eponine takes a bullet running this stupid, useless little errand to help the romance of 1) the guy she herself is in love with, and 2) the most boring and irritating romantic couple in the whole history of literature. It means something in terms of her relationship with Marius and exactly how much of a dipshit he is, and it means something that she doesn’t get shot during a battle but just as a random person crawling over the barricade; it’s an illustration of how cheap the lives of the poor revolutionaries are to the French soldiers.

And in many ways, they kept women out of the activities they do in the show to support the revolution, most obviously, in giving the women’s singing parts to Gavroche in “Drink With Me.” This annoyed me as a feminist, because even though in the show the women hardly had equal roles in the revolution to the men, at least they had roles, and didn’t just get shoved to the sidelines so that men could pick up their chairs. They were doing the support stuff women do, like tending wounds, mending clothes, and serving drinks, but they were THERE. This Les Mis just got rid of them entirely. Except Eponine, of course, who dresses like a boy in order to participate. It also annoyed me because hearing (and sniffling at) “Drink With Me” was my first exposure to Les Mis and is still my favorite song.

I can’t talk more about Anne Hathaway’s performance. I know I waxed poetic about Hugh Jackman, but Anne Hathaway – she just killed me. I can’t talk about it. I’ll start sobbing again. And then I’ll need to smish Zoe and she’ll get annoyed with me and I just . . .

I can’t hear anyone say the word “bed time” without getting all teary. (“Cosette, it’s turned so cold./Cosette, it’s past your bed time.”) This movie – and Anne Hathaway in particular – has made me a mess.

Here’s the thing about Les Mis for me, as a show, a movie, whatever: I would totally hate it if it weren’t for the music. It’s depressing and melodramatic and self-righteous and the ending is just such a flipping cop-out tear-jerker blah . . . But the music. Oh, the music. I am in thrall to you. Damn it.

PS. My sister did a review, too.

Golden Globes 2013

Erica: I know y’all are excited about this.

Kate: It has been the highlight of my 2013 so far, besides Book of Mormon.

Erica: See, Oscars, here’s how you make a telecast people want to watch – seat all the stars at tables with their friends and then give them free booze!

Kate: I know, I wish they were all miked while sitting so I could hear little snippets of conversation.

Erica: So I don’t see how we can not start with the hosts. Here’s them on the red carpet.

Tina Fey and Amy Poehler

Erica: I do not approve of Amy Poehler’s “formal capris.” I will not. I cannot.

Kate: I was actually very excited about both of them, until I saw a) the length of Tina’s dress and b) her horrendous shoes. But I was very excited about a) Tina’s hair and b) Amy’s blazer, and I think both of them looked better than usual.

Erica: I love Tina Fey’s hair. The dress is kind of meh. I think Tina’s been doing well lately, but Amy Poehler definitely looks better than usual.

Kate: Again, I like the top. For Amy I would have chosen a longer necklace.

Erica: And here they are in their first hosting outfit:

Erica: See, these dresses look great. Tina’s is a little boring and pageant-y, but the color saves it and, did I mention, I really love her hair like that.

Kate: Me too, and I like these as much as the first two — not a ton, but enough. It also looks like Tina lost some weight, which she did not need to.

Erica: I think it might be just a tight dress. And maybe the pounds you lose when you used to be much fatter, were told  you had to diet to be on television, dieted, got on television, got wildly successful, and then had a hosting gig at the Golden Globes in a spangly dress. You know?

Kate: Plus, I enjoyed them hosting SIGNIFICANTLY more than Ricky Gervais.

Erica: And then they changed again. Or back, in Tina’s case.

Kate: Oh I barely noticed that change, don’t like Amy’s third dress. But throughout they night they were both dressing up as/making fun of celebrities at their tables, which I very much enjoyed.

Erica: Oh yeah. I especially liked when they were with J. Lo and George Clooney during their own category’s announcement. I hate Amy’s dress. I continue not to be impressed with Tina’s and it’s not like her hair looks bad and look, I get it, wearing your hair down all night is dangerous. It can fall flat. It can get all knotted and weird. So fine. Sweep it up. But I liked it better down.

Kate: I aspire to achieve that hair look every day.

Erica: And what about our ladies of Les Mis?

Anne Hathaway

Kate: YES.

Erica: Meh.

Kate: How dare you?

Erica: I mean, she gave a lovely acceptance speech and is charmingly self-deprecating (Although she’s, like, this close to the line between “charming” and “Oh, can it, already.”).

Kate: Er, come on! She looks so Audrey with her hair like that! I guess I would like the dress better if it were one piece, but then it might look too bridal. I also can’t believe how much weight she lost to play Fantine and how she hasn’t gained it back yet. Make her some of your Bolognese!

Erica: Anne, I do not love that dress and I think it looks bridal anyway, but you can come over any time for some Bolognese. It would be my pleasure to host you. Just don’t sing any Fantine songs. You were wonderful but I just can’t take any more tears. And don’t make fun of being Princess of Genovia in my presence, please.

Amanda Seyfried

Kate: The problem here is two-fold: 1) That pin thing in the front, 2) her hair in front of her shoulders. The detail on that dress — Givenchy, might I add — needs to be seen in all its glory, and her (albeit lovely) hair is hiding it.

Erica: I totally hate it. I love her, I really do. I mean, how can you not love her when she makes faces like this on the red carpet:

Kate: I, in fact, do not love her, but would like to take this dress off her hands.

Erica: But I totally hate this dress. With the collar and the weird lace and it looks like a redneck in 1987 designed her dream wedding gown I’m sorry.

Kate: Again, how dare you! This is Givenchy!

Jennifer Lawrence

Erica: She also gave a charming acceptance speech.

Kate: Love it. Love her.

Erica: It’s like the dress is going, “Look, boobs!” It’s hard to see in this picture but the folds of fabric are just kind of like, “Hey, there are boobs here! No, really! Right here!” I am not so much enjoying that aspect of it.

Kate: Yes the boob part was weird but worked because of her torso length, I think. I really like the color, and for once I like the use of a belt on the red carpet. But just this once.

Erica: I don’t think it worked; I just think it’s ignorable. As is the belt. You know what I think it is though? Not so much her torso length but her general adorability.

Kate:

Lena Dunham

Erica: Um, wow. What is going on here?

Kate:  Wow as in bad wow, right?

Erica: She looks great. Her back doesn’t look all slouchy. The dress is a little glamorous and understated and not overtly hipster in any way. She . . . looks great. And, uh, congrats.

Kate: I disagree. I obviously adore her and Girls, but I think this was a horrible choice — it is ill fitting and a very poopy color, she’s done better than this on random nights out in Brooklyn.

Erica: Has she? Because I’ve never seen it.

Kate: And here she is with her girls:

Kate: I like Marney’s dress but not Shoshana’s.

Erica: Zosia Mamet managed to look like a human and Allison Williams is still too skinny.

Kate: Yes, still too skinny.

Erica: Oh, and the fourth one didn’t show up again. I’d think she was too good for awards shows or something, but, like, half the invited guests had the flu. This thing is seriously an epidemic, I guess.

Kate: Yea what’s up with that? Jennifer Lawrence has the flu and she was there! Step it up, celebs!

Erica: Dude, no, stay home. This flu is apparently a real whopper; even if you’ve had the flu shot you can get it and it’s ripping through the population.

Connie Britton

Erica: Hair down! Score one for us!

Kate: PER. FEC. TION.

Erica: And she’s smiling like she’s supposed to be there! Sort of.

Kate: Well she knew she wasn’t going to win but wanted go and party anyway.

Erica: You know, in just about every picture of her, she’s in this pose.

Kate: So?

Erica: Just sayin’. It’s better than her usual, “Oh, please don’t point that thing at me. What, really? Alright, fine, if you insist.” pose.

Hayden Panettiere

Erica: Also hair down! Score two for us!

Kate: Yes I really really really like her hair down, she sometimes has very weird updos.

Erica: She’s so pretty.

Kate: The whole look is actually very Sweet 16-esque, but I still like it. Might like it better without the fish/mermaid tail, whatever you call it.

Erica: I didn’t used to dislike the mermaid tail thing but I am rethinking that.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus

Erica: So I heard her say on the red carpet that she didn’t go big with the jewelry because the dress was already so much. But I think the dress actually needed, like, a gorgeous diamond necklace and fancier hair and make-up, because the dress was such a glamorous, lacy, complicated thing.

Kate: Disagree, a big necklace would have taken away from the detail of the dress. I love this, she was instantly a best dressed pick for me.

Erica: Alright.

Claire Danes

Erica: She just had a baby?

Kate: Yes!

Erica: I mean, can we consider her waist for a minute? I think it is actually smaller in circumference than her head. Especially with her hair like that.

Kate: Why is everyone’s hair so nice and down and blown out but with those perfect flippy parts? Why can’t my hair do that? I love this dress, by the way. Eye makeup a wee bit too dark though.

 

Erica: I wasn’t being complimentary about her waist. It’s scary. Even if her hair looks fabulous. And yes, I like the dress.

Jessica Chastain

Erica: Hate it.

Kate: Complete hatred.

Erica: Makes me worry about her boobs. Hate it.

Kate: Bad hair part/slicking, bad lipstick, bad top of dress, bad color of dress, all so bad.

Erica: The waist sits funny, too, like it’s a little too high – or a little too low – and it maybe wants to become a peplum or something. But I think the color is lovely on her and she’s beautiful and has the hair I wish I had and also, congrats.

Kate: You are wrong a lot right now.

Julianne Moore

Erica: So, first of all, I forgot Game Change happened this year. That seems like forever ago.

Kate: I saw it!

Erica: Second of all, Julianne Moore, 50 is the new 30 or something. You don’t have to dress like you’re over the hill yet. You’re gorgeous.

Kate: Yea, don’t like the dress at all, and I find it odd that she hasn’t changed her hair back from the Sarah Palin style.

Jodie Foster

Erica: See, this is what I mean. Jodie Foster is 50, and she’s dressing like she’s still a glamorous movie star. Maybe it’s because she’s . . . single.

Kate: Or maybe it’s because she’s bat-sh!t crazy, as evidenced by her speech which I could not understand why everyone was crying about it.

Erica: Well, she seemed to be announcing her . . . retirement? Along with not-coming-out-but-she’s-gay-but-she’s-not-coming-out-because-fame-is-hard? Also, she, like everyone else in the room, was piss-ass drunk at this point.

Kate: Can we also focus on that hair? And how grossed out her kids were by her speech?

Erica: The kids just seemed to be, you know, embarrassed, because they’re her kids, and whatnot. The haircut makes her forehead look enormous. She should rethink that. But you know what? Watching the clips, I realized I haven’t seen nearly enough Jodie Foster movies. A lot of them looked good.

Emily Blunt

Kate:Minus the earings, perfection!

Erica: Is she blondish now?

Kate: It appears that way, but I really like it. She has such a perfect face.

Erica: I do not like the stomach cut-outs. I don’t care how good your stomach is, I don’t like them. They’re weird.

Kate: This dress would kind of suck without them, though.

Erica: IMH(ha!)O, it sucks with them.

Naomi Watts

Erica: I did not like this, Kate, did you?

Kate: I did, with exceptions: I think this color looks better on someone with a hair color like, say, mine, and I think it is a fairly blatant copy of that Hilary Swank Oscar dress. But I do like it in general.

Erica: I am not a fan of the nun-in-the-front, party-in-the-back dress. And yeah, her coloring and the dress’s are not good for each other.

Kate: And I am not a fan of that folding-the-hair-under thing, ew.

Amy Adams

Erica: I felt bored by this at first and have since decided it is dreamy and lovely.

Kate: I hate it.

Erica: Because it matches her skin tone?

Kate: Yes, and it is too tight. She still has not learned how to wear Spanx. And the hair would be acceptable if it were not KRIMPED.

Erica: It’s . . . not? Also, for what does she need to wear Spanx?

Kate: To make everything very smooth lines! I didn’t like how it hugged her.

Erica: But here is what I don’t get. If you’re going to wear a dress like that – and she’s hardly the only offender; practically all of the ladies do this – why bother wearing six-inch stilettos with platforms such that you can hardly walk up and down the stairs when your dress is going to cover them up anyway? Don’t you look more ridiculous when you need a team of people to help you move than when you look, perhaps, an inch or two shorter?

Kate: Every single female needed a team of people to help them get down those stairs. It was kind of pathetic.

Lucy Liu

Kate: This looks like Forever 21‘s version of what Audrey wore in Sabrina; ergo, I HATE it. And that stupid braid.

Erica: I really like it. It ought to look like she’s somebody’s grandmother’s couch, but the clean lines and lack of adornment make it really lovely and unusual and I like her hair. Also she and Connie Britton appear to be close friends.

Kate: No, it sucks. And is way too big for a) the Globes and b) someone who is not even nominated.

Julianne Hough

Erica: I did not like her in Rock of Ages. I thought she was the worst part. But this dress is . . . memorable. And I mean that in a good way.

Kate: I surprised myself by really liking this dress, until the showed the entire thing and I hated the bottom. If it were more of a column style and the sparkley things faded out toward the bottom it would have been perfect. I even like the hair.

Erica: See, I thought it would have been too expected and safe it was more of a column.

Kate: I don’t, however, like that she gets to attend everything just because of who her boyfriend is.

Giuliana Rancic

Erica: I still do not understand who this person is.

Kate: She’s an E! host, duh!

Erica: And I loathe this dress.

Kate: Yea, she makes Jessica Chastain look like a fashion icon. Worst dressed by a landslide.

Happy New Year

This year, I have made many resolutions. Some are nebulous – be a better mother! Some are concrete – Write at least 1/2 hour a day (subject to increase but not decrease as the months progress)! Some are nebulous but with concrete steps – Get healthier! But also, exercise at least 1/2 hour a day (subject to increase but not decrease as the months progress)! Get yourself down to only having meat/white flour 2 times a week!

But here’s one that’s concrete – Post a blog entry every Monday. Without fail.

Even if it’s crappy and short, like this one.

Happy 2013!