Erica: We are only a very tiny bit late with this, but I think late is better than never, right?
Erica: So, I hate this dress. I love Jane Lynch, of course, but I hate this dress. I hate it both as an item in and of itself, and also how it looks on her, making her torso look all frumpy and weird. BUT…
Erica: …Her makeup is perfection. And that’s saying something on a night when everyone else went with either Best Lil’ Whorehouse in Texas or Vampire.
Kate: Agreed! That looks like something for someone much younger than Jane, but it would look terrible on anyone I think.
Kate: I am quite impressed by this construction, but um who is she??
Erica: You know, this is the kind of thing that works. Because I am irritated by dresses where your main thought is, seriously, how much double-sided tape is she using, and also I am irritated by the superfluous “i” in her name. Typically, girls are Jaime (from the French J’aime, meaning “I love”) and boys are Jamie (because it’s a nickname for James), and she’s gone with both and that’s just irritating. But I didn’t know who she was before and now she exists in my consciousness so she did exactly what she and her stylist and her publicist want her to do.
Kate: Well, don’t you think her parents went with both and she did not have much of a say in the matter?
Erica: No. I do not think that’s what happened.
Erica: It’s not easy to see here, but I noticed on SNL, this baby got back. In a totally hot way.
Kate: Ian said the exact same thing, which I took very well. I really love this dress and color, I am eh on the necklace, and I wish her hair had been different.
Erica: Really? I’m kind of digging the hair.
Erica: Oh my goodness is she ill? What happened to her head?
Kate: YIKES! HORRID! What is with that length?
Erica: Whereas I’m not so sure I know who she is, but I love this dress.
Kate: Me too! Accessories are too matchy-matchy, though.
Erica: You’re not wrong. But seriously, who is this? She looks exactly like what’s-her-name who played the slutty cousin in The Wedding Singer, but I know that’s not her.
Kate: Apparently she is on 30 Rock.
Erica: Oh! I do know who she is!
Erica: Kate, look out! It’s a peplum!
Kate: I do not have enough time in my day to go through everything that is wrong with this.
Erica: This is one of the first times I’ve liked her red carpet look. Did I tell you I saw her on Bill Maher? She was so fabulous; I was way more impressed with her intellect, charm, and humor than I expected to be.
Kate: But it’s almost a direct copy of Anne Hathaway’s Golden Globes dress which, may I point out, you did not like!
Erica: Yeah, you may have a point. Speaking of whom…
Kate: I admit I do not love this one bit, but I am still reeling from my Les Mis experience so I will refrain from saying anything else.
Erica: I feel like, bra. That is all.
Kate: I would completely and absolutely love this if it weren’t for the necklace that looks it like it’s from Claire’s. WHAT stylist allowed that to happen!?
Erica: This was Zoe’s favorite.
Kate: Also kind of similar to Jennifer Lawrence’s, no?
Erica: Not so much. I mean, they both went with strapless and colors that could be described as “dark blue,” but other than that . . .
Kate: Well yea, that’s what I meant.
Kate: “Not a total Betty but a vast improvement.”
Erica: Ha! Yeah.
Kate: What I mean is, she looks much better here than she did at the Golden Globes, but it was a fairly boring choice and I thought you weren’t supposed to wear dresses the same color as your hair?
Erica: That said, I love the color of her hair.
Kate: I wanted to include her because this is the first time I think she looks almost bad on the red carpet. I think the dress is ill fitted, not her usual style and a stupid color.
Erica: It’s a terrible material, is what it is. It’s really cheap-looking. And the top looks like if she doesn’t keep her arms in exactly that position, it’ll all fall down. Shoes are kinda cute, if wedding-y, though.
Kate: I am not even remotely kidding when I say I think she wins best dressed of the night by a mile. She looks adorable, I love the color and pattern and length; it’s like a juniors’ Audrey dress. Flippy cute hair, understated makeup (I mean how much should a girl her age be wearing anyway?), no jewelry except for studs, and she is even rockin’ some thick eyebrows a la me when I was that age. I absolutely LOVE it!
Erica: I like you with thicker eyebrows.
Kate: But don’t you love this?!
Erica: Yes! I do!
Kate: I really like this color, but mostly for vacation ensembles as opposed to the red carpet. And if possible, the length/style of the gown makes her look even shorter. And I don’t like her hair. Nice material, though.
Erica: I really feel terrible saying this but I think it’s too young for her. The color and the design are very girlish, which kind of highlights that she’s not so girlish anymore. I don’t mean to be all, “Leave the pretty dresses to the young people, Sally Field, you old bag!” I’m not thinking she should cover up more or anything. I just think . . . yeah. Girlish dress. Pretty. But girlish.
Kate: Do not like at all. Dammit Angela.
Erica: She best exemplified the Vampire make-up choice of the evening.
Kate: I have yet to see anyone who looks remotely good in that dark purple/red lipstick – actresses, models and friends included (sorry if I’m offending anyone, but seriously look in the mirror).
Kate: For reasons unbeknownst to me I kind of love this.
Erica: Yeah, I’m normally against color-blocked evening wear but this is very nice.
Kate: I know it almost looks like an old Jessica McClintock prom dress, but I really like the contrast of the two colors and even the cut of the dress in front, and her hair is very classy. She is quite gorgeous.
Erica: She could have done better with the shoes, though.
Kate: Yes. The darker the blue, the further away you stay from black.
Kate: I don’t really know or care who this girl is (Vampire Diaries?) but I wanted to include her because she is a very close runner-up for my best dressed. I don’t think anyone of any different shape or size can pull off that t-shirt/column style, but I love how the slits break up the bright color and I love the bright color. And the earrings and the hair.
Erica: Yeah, she’s not well-known to me but she looks really good. She’s extraordinarily pretty, too, if in a “I could totally play Lolita” way.
Kate: Yea, so she and Kiernan win best dressed, and Kaley wins worst.
Erica: Well, that’s it from us for today. But listen, faithful readers – my dad saw something on Colbert Report about some other fashion bloggers who went viral or something and is mad that Kate and I have not. So, to make an old man happy, will you please, if you like our fashion commentary, send this link out to, like, everyone you’ve ever met? Thanks!
Kate: And don’t forget about our own Super Bowl of fashion, the Oscars, on February 24th (post to come the next day or the day after that)!