SYTYCD Season 14 – Finale

Kate: Ok, NOW it’s the finale. I think.

Erica: Yes. Yes, this is definitely it.

Kate: And we’ll be doing everyone’s favorite dances throughout this less-than-thrilling season. Yippee.

Erica: I hate that there’s nothing new. Except group routines. I’m happy about new group routines.

Cat Deeley’s Ensemble

Kate: Love the tousled long waves, as usual, but the makeup feels too heavy and smoky for such soft beachy waves.

Erica: Well, but it was right for the dress, right?

Kate: Yes, the sparkly dress and tall black boots (which feel inappropriate given that it was 85 degrees today) required the smoky makeup, so…The hair was the wrong thing? Say it ain’t so!

Erica: Nah, let’s just say it was all good.

Kate: As for the rest of their ensembles, it looks like an evil daffodil threw up all over Hudgy, and I HATE red/orange eyeshadow like that. It makes you look ill, no matter what.

Erica: You know I tried to do pinkish eyeshadow a few times way back when I worked for Aveda and wore makeup often enough to get bored and try new things, and some makeup thing somewhere told me that pinkish reddish was good for people with blue eyes. It was not.

Kate: It still is not. And I don’t hate what Mary Murphy is wearing, I just hate her hair with it. It’s too flat on top/slicked back away from her face.

Erica: Makes her forehead look too big.

Kate: We’re so mean.

 

Group Routine (All): Jazz, choreo by Mandy Moore

“Dancing On The Ceiling” by Nick Wells

Kate: This felt VERY High School Musical to me. Like, intentionally so.

Erica: Yes. Good description. It was kind of adorkable. But I would say it was feel-good without requiring or showing off that much skill. Like, I could do half those moves. Not with only one week of practice, and I wouldn’t look as good in booty shorts and a crop top, but it didn’t look significantly more challenging to me than a Just Dance routine.

Kate: I had the same problem with the sharpness that we’ve been having all season, except for Koine. She looked perfect and should absolutely win.

Erica: Yeah, she sort of embodies this number in that it’s exactly suited to her cuteness. But also she’s capable of more than this choreography gave her. I did like the newsprint clothes, though. Which should tell you exactly how much of a dork I am.

 

Group Routine (Academy): Every Dance Genre Ever, choreo by Mandy Moore

“Brand New” by Atwater Men’s Club feat. Luke Wade

Kate: Well, this is a first.

Erica: You mean, the whole pre-filmed-ness of it?

Kate: Yea. But of course it was cool, it was every style ever with 100(?) dancers, AND they had time to edit it and do cool camera work that we get so mad about during the live telecasts.

Erica: If anything it really illustrated how much luck goes into who gets on the show and who doesn’t. Because if some of these people are the people who didn’t make it, then damn. They’re pretty good. (Koine and Taylor still stood out in their group, though.) But I am confused. This was seen before, right? When they started the academy episodes? I didn’t watch the academy episodes. I probably should have. Because if it wasn’t shown then, this doesn’t make any sense.

Kate: This song was played a lot, but not this entire routine with everyone in it.

 

Koine & Kiki: Salsa, choreo by Val Chmerkovskiy
“Dança Molengo” by Bonde do Rolê feat. Rizzle Kicks

Kate: Interesting choice by Mary, but glad I got to see Koine in this again. Even Kiki was more tolerable in it this time.

Erica: She is just the embodiment of joy. You’re right, he seemed a little more dynamic this time around. Maybe now that the pressure is off, he can let loose.

 

Group Routine (All): Disco, choreo by Mandy Moore & Val Chmerkovskiy

“You Should Be Dancing” by The Bee Gees

Kate: Figures this would be Hudgy’s choice, of all routines.

Erica: Well, when this routine originally aired, I said it was the routine that would have been in a turn-of-the-millennium remake of Saturday Night Fever, had one existed. And, had one existed, Vanessa Hudgens would have aspired to be in it. So that makes sense.

Kate: I enjoyed it then and I enjoyed it now, I just think she could have chosen a more interesting or difficult routine.

 

Taylor & Lex: Broadway, choreo by Spencer Liff

“An American In Paris” by James Levine & Chicago Symphony Orchestra

Kate: For some reason their romance is bothering me. I don’t know if it’s them talking about it too much, or if I suspect it’s fake/just for the show, or what, but it’s just not doing it for me.

Erica: It’s cooked up. Right? It’s got to be.

Kate: This was quite adorable, again, though.

Erica: Yeah, it was nice, but I also wonder if Nigel chose it in part because it evokes one of the most memorable routines of the show’s run, the Hok-Jaimie bird routine.

 

Group Routine (All-Stars + Top 9): Hip-Hop, choreo by Luther Brown

“Ya Ya” by Jonte

Kate: I now agree with you that I don’t like the hip-hop routine being done in tribal costumes.

Erica: Given that I largely know things about dance because of this show, it makes me think that the distinctions between genres of dancing are largely superficial.

Kate: The dancing was pretty much fine, though.

Erica: Yeah, they did well.

 

Dassy & Fik-Shun: Hip-Hop, choreo by Popin’ Pete
“Shake Your Pants” by Cameo

Kate: Didn’t like it then, don’t like it now.

Erica: Kinda liked it then. Still think it’s fine. I have to say, Fik-Shun has never been my guy. His face is more mobile than the rest of his body and it’s sort of exhausting.

 

Group Routine (All-Stars + Top 8): Jazz, choreo by Mark Kanemura

“Call Me Mother” by RuPaul

Kate: I guess I didn’t like this much the first time around, but this time I did! Despite an obnoxious song, the moves and the costumes and the hair and makeup created quite the dramatic production that I really appreciated and enjoyed.

Erica: Nigel was really pimping how amazing the show is when he was introducing this routine. “Millions watched it online! The lighting guy is amazing!” I liked this routine, though. It’s so weird and silly. It’s like the word “frivolous” in dance form.

 

Koine & Lex: Broadway, choreo by Al Blackstone

“L-O-V-E” by Nat King Cole

Kate: See, this is weird. We JUST saw this for the first time last week. This season has not been long enough/there haven’t been enough DANCES for us to be picking all of our favorites, FOX!

Erica: I mean, there’s sort of no way to avoid this. If your favorite dance was last week, then that was your favorite. And this, I can’t complain about this being reprised. Nothing else was really something I was looking forward to seeing again. But this? I love this.

Kate: But, again, Koine was adorable as ever.

Erica: I really love the way she gets off the couch in the beginning. Like, she’s even cute when she’s being purposefully not cute. This is maybe the only routine from the season that I will think about when this season is over.

 

Group Routine (All): Contemporary, choreo by Mia Michaels

“Hyper-Ballad (Paky Di Maio Remix)” by Paola Canestrelli

Kate: Now here’s the Mia Michaels we know and love, er, are most of the time weirded out by. It was supposed to be a meeting of addicts, yes?

Erica: I think so. Or boxers.

Kate: Well, powerful message/sob story aside, it was danced beautifully and sharply and with great transitions and drama and tricks and leaps and kicks. Finally, a little of the old SYTYCD!

Erica: Yeah, this was beautifully choreographed and very well danced. Interesting and weird and pretty intense. A bit of a weird note to strike in the finale, but I’ll take it. If this isn’t the last season, they should do whatever it takes to get Mia Michaels to be around more.

Kate: AND A BASKET TOSS AT THE END! YAY, CHEERLEADING!

 

Robert & Jasmine: Hip-Hop, choreo by Chris Scott

“Perm” by Bruno Mars

Kate: Oh, Robert. Forgot you existed.

Erica: I didn’t because I was never not missing Jasmine.

Kate: This was a fun routine then and now, but the constant hairspray spraying really grossed me out. (Although I’m assuming the cans weren’t filled with real hairspray.)

Erica: Hah. But it was super cute.

 

Lex & Travis Wall: Contemporary, choreo by Travis Wall

“TEAR, Part 1” by Son Lux

Kate: Did we seriously expect me to watch anyone or anything besides Travis in this routine?

Erica: No. Very exciting to see him dancing again. So is Son Lux a person who is a big deal other than on this show? Because there have been like 82 Son Lux songs this season.

Kate: I have only ever heard his/her/their songs on this show. Super-cool routine. It felt very Peaky Blinders, but probably just because of the costumes.

Erica: Holy mikeys, that was intense. Very, very, very good choreography. Well danced. See, that routine should let Nigel know that, to the extent that this show is getting stale (it is — I’m sorry, I love it, but it is), it’s because he will not back away from a boy-girl-pair format. I’m not saying that there should be no boy-girl pair dancing, but play with the format, for God’s sake! More group dances! More same-sex pairings! More trios and quads and whatever! There’s nothing about the show that requires nearly every dance to be two dancers, one boy and one girl. Mix it up!

Kate: YEAH!

 

Koine & Marko: Contemporary, choreo by Mandy Korpinen & Elizabeth Petrin

“You’re The Last Thing On My Mind” by Aron Wright

Kate: Still love these 2 together, still love her, still love this routine.

Erica: Oh, no, not this routine! It makes me so nervous! Seriously, though, I thought that there were some great moves but that this as an overall piece was a bit lacking. This time around, I felt the transitions were a little more fluid, but I still think this was almost a great routine.

 

Lex & Gaby: Hip-Hop, choreo by Luther Brown

“Humble” by Kendrick Lamar

Kate: I liked this A LOT better than last time. He was still a tiny bit too stiff in his back in some areas, though.

Erica: He may have danced it better but to me this was still not a particularly memorable routine.

 

Kiki & Jenna: Cha-Cha, choreo by Dmitry Chaplain

“There’s Nothing Holdin’ Me Back” by Shawn Mendes

Kate: Still love this song, still want to do a dance (like this) to it, still hate her a lot.

Erica: She really works my last nerve. It’s at least 85% unfair of me but it’s there and I can’t seem to stop it. Hot outfit, though.

 

Taylor & Robert: Contemporary, choreo by Mandy Moore

“To Make You Feel My Love” by Mick McAuley & Winifred Horan

Kate: I mean, DUH! Her legs are so twirly.

Erica: This was quite beautiful and she was quite beautiful in it (as was he). I also really like this version of this song.

Kate: I prefer Koine, but I would not be mad if she won at all. (And I prefer the Adele version of this song.)

Erica: Yeah, either one of them would be fine with me. Taylor was my first favorite but Koine stole my heart. But they are both blessings to dance and deserve America’s love.

 

Results

Kate: Oh MAN, no one picked last week’s Mi Gente group hip-hop routine as their favorite?! 😦

Erica: Oh, yeah, that was a good one. I complained at the time but it was still fun.

Kate: I feel less “Oh MAN” about Kiki being in 4th place, though.

Erica: Yeah, that’s fine.

Kate: Oh my god, Hudgy is performing. She sucks. She’s not even DANCING. NOR IS SHE A GOOD SINGER. DAMMIT HUDGY!

Erica: God, she’s so annoying. It’s too bad because I think I’d like this song if it were sung by someone else.

Kate: Oh, there she goes, with the dancing, with ROBERT!? Not fair. Does not deserve him. She barely did anything, he did everything, obviously.

Erica: I mean, if I were allowed to pick anyone, I’d pick him. But yes. If I ever have jillions of dollars I will buy you a dance with Robert.

Kate: Ian often watches this show and repeatedly complains that he and I could do these dances no problem. For this one, he is absolutely right.

Erica: Video or it didn’t happen. (No, but you probably could.)

Kate: And Nigel’s face while everyone is clapping (and he is not) plus Mary Murphy’s forced smile SAY IT ALL. They don’t like you either, Hudgy!

Erica: He’s trying so hard to keep it together. Poor Nigel. Hoisted very much on your own petard.

 

Kiki, Koine, Mark & Taylor: Contemporary, choreo by Sean Cheesman
“Still I Rise (Maya Angelou)” by Alexis Henry

Kate: Oh, I thought we were done with routines, but we had to squeeze in one more because of Trump and hurricanes and #TaketheKnee and every ISSUE the world is currently facing.

Erica: This show is going to save us all. Nigel told me so. I like this routine, though. It’s interesting, even if they flubbed it a bit. (Again, Nigel, the show is better when you break format a bit.)

Kate: It was pretty funny when Cat chased them off stage. Lots of weird live show errors this season…

Erica: Mark didn’t want to leave. I liked Cat comparing them to “boxes of frogs”. I don’t know if that’s an Australianism or just a Cat-ism, but I like it.

 

More Results

Kate: TAYLOR is in 3rd place?! LEX COULD POTENTIALLY WIN THIS SH!T? America, we are in worse shape than I thought. And I thought we were in the absolute worst shape possible.

Erica: I do not believe that they accurately report results. A boy went so now a girl does because Nigel is so very dedicated to boy-girl evenness.

Kate: Oh my god, screw this. I give up. I’m done with this show, and I blame Trump.

Erica: MFer. It’s Lex. It’s because he’s a boy. We probably can’t exactly blame Trump, but they are symptoms of the same disease. Which is misogyny, in case you don’t realize it. Koine is a queen and she deserved it and Lex is dumping Taylor with no scruples right now.

Kate: Booooo!

SYTYCD Season 14 – Top 4 Perform

Erica: This week is similarly a freakin’ mess. Sorry, guys. We came back on the red-eye from Vegas Saturday night/Sunday morning, I worked Sunday, and since then, I’ve been trying to catch up on life. Including this, and the Emmys.

Kate: I don’t think anyone reads these anymore, unfortunately.

Erica: I’m so freaking tired, you guys. I don’t know if this will make me more or less generous in my judging.

Kate: Oh holy hell, it’s not the finale, next week is. I can’t keep up.

 

Cat Deeley’s Ensemble

Erica: Hair? Delightful perfection. Dress? I dig the concept of the dress but I feel it could be executed better. Still, the color is perfect on her and she just looks one hundred percent leggy, gorgeous blonde.

Kate: Yes, yes, yes and yes Cat. YES CAT! LOVE IT ALL!

Erica: Hudgy and Mary look like they coordinated tonight; they’re both in black lace. This is definitely Hudgy’s most normal look. Mary looks like she felt whatever is supposed to go under her lace was not modest enough so she threw on something completely unrelated and weird. BUT I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MARY MURPHY.

Kate: Yes, the most normal, but still, I hate her more than I ever thought possible.

Erica: I think sometimes people do not understand my love for Mary Murphy. When this show started, I was not a big fan. She was so screechy and so dippy sometimes! But then. She danced on stage with Dmitry Chaplin and I understood what the point of Mary Murphy is.

 

Group Routine (All): Hip-Hop, choreo by NappyTabs

“Mi Gente” by J. Balvin & Willie William

Erica: This number involved a lot of black-and-white patterned panels wandering around the stage, and then the dancers were in various black-and-white hip-hop outfits, and I’m not really sure how the live studio audience could possibly have seen any of this, but on TV, the visuals were pretty good. But again, sharpness? This routine required less precision than last week’s, but still, they looked like background dancers at a party in a movie. Like, almost deliberately not sharp so as not to look unrealistic. (Except my girl Jasmine who was fire as always.) Are they just not giving them enough time to rehearse these pieces?

Kate: No, you’re wrong, this was amazing. First of all, I am obsessed with this song, but for a long time I only knew that beat and not the words or title or artist, and today I learned the title and artist, therefore listened to it ALL DAY and imagined myself doing a dance EXACTLY LIKE THIS. I WANT TO LEARN IT! Favorite group routine this season by so so far.

 

Group Routine (Top 4): Contemporary, choreo by Travis Wall & Christopher Scott

“Elements” by Nathan Lanier

Erica: Christopher Scott and Travis Wall are so thrilled to death with themselves for this concept. (Which, for those of you who didn’t watch, is that the four dancers are the four elements.)

Kate: So literal.

Erica: Koine is Earth and starts the routine dashing about in sand. Then it fades on Lex dancing with water raining down on him. Then Kiki dances and sets off flames around him. Then Taylor drops down from the sky with the wind machine going full blast. As a mother and as a former stage manager, all of these things together and separately made me nuts. Like, someone’s going to have to clean up that shit. Also, where are they? Where are they on stage? Because when they come together I see no sand or wetness. I don’t understand how this looked live.

Kate: Same, I feel like it had to have been filmed ahead of time and they were tricking us. It all looked really cool, though.

Erica: Then once they get together, the magic sort of fizzles. I had high hopes for a Scott-Wall mashup and I don’t think this lived up to my expectations.

Kate: Agree, they at first came together in anger and I was like, no, the elements kind of have to work together.

 

Kiki & Taylor: Cha-Cha, choreo by Anya Garnis
“Don’t Cha (Ralphi’s Hot Freak 12” Vox Mix)” by The Pussycat Dolls

Erica: Do we feel it’s unfair that Kiki gets to be in his style and Taylor isn’t?

Kate: No, don’t they all eventually end up in their styles at some point tonight?

Erica: For those of you who don’t remember, Anya came on this show as a contestant with my beloved Pasha. Kiki ponders if he can bring out Taylor’s sexy side. Pasha would have been able to.

Kate: Oh yay, she’s choreographing now!

Erica: I hate that I hate her outfit. I usually like cha-cha outfits. This remix is very weird. This dancing is very weird. They don’t look like they’re in the same routine. As they showed in the rehearsal footage, Taylor’s leg really can go all the way up. And she’s doing better than he is so I guess my concern about this being unfair was unfounded.

Kate: They are both very good and were good in this but didn’t really CONNECT, in my opinion, and this dance requires some connection. It felt very separated.

 

Lex & Koine: Broadway, choreo by Al Blackstone

“L-O-V-E” by Nat King Cole

Erica: She is freaking adorable. I love her hands and feet. They’re always so engaged and cute. And she’s a terrific actress and comedienne. And dancer. And this routine was so cute and silly and funny and she just performed the hell out of it.

Kate: Yup, it was pretty much perfect. It seems like that robe was made for her, literally.

Erica: He was on stage as well.

Kate: I continue to barely notice his existence.

Erica: No, no, he was pretty good. But she was just a shining star from heaven and I love her.

 

Jenna & Kiki: Contemporary, choreo by Mandy Moore

“The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face” by Jeffrey Gaines

Erica: So the performers are regurgitating their favorite dances of the season. In other seasons, I have looked forward to this. This season, there are so few dances that I really loved that I’m like, “Ugh.”

Kate: Oh, at first I was like, hey did they did this song already. I need to work on my listening skills.

Erica: He made a good choice, though. This remains a lovely piece.

Kate: Lovely, but highlights her more than him. It doesn’t make me think he should be voted America’s Favorite Dancer.

Erica: And then Jenna has to make it all about her by crying about how much she loves dancing with Kiki. I’m such a bitch. Sorry.

Kate: No, that was gross, and so fake.

 

Koine & Marko: African Jazz, choreo by Sean Cheesman

“Speaking In Tongues II” by Sheila Chandra

Erica: This is not my favorite of her routines but I think it’s an interesting choice by her.

Kate: Yes, the “song” drives me nuts, but I think it’s cool. Great tricks throughout.

Erica: I should clarify — there is nothing wrong with this routine. The choreography is interesting and the dancers execute it well (although actually Marko looks off this week, but not Koine because she is made of dance). It’s just not my particular thing.

 

Group Routine (All-Stars): Hip-Hop, choreo by Keone & Mari Madrid

“DNA.” by Kendrick Lamar

Erica: Am I supposed to think anything about Kendrick Lamar?

Kate: He’s a good rapper, apparently. This was cool enough, but I wish they had just done the first group routine again. Mi gente!

Erica: I liked this choreo and I thought they were more on it than in the first routine but still could use a little more precision.

Kate: In the words (and accent) of Rafiki: Nope, wrong again!

 

Koine & Taylor: Jazz, choreo by Mandy Moore

“Black and Gold” by Brenna Whitaker

Erica: These two have very different bodies but great chemistry and terrific synchronicity.

Kate: Oh, I don’t agree. I loved this routine, partially because it was a different version of a song we definitely did back at Loyola Dance Company, but I thought their different styles felt kind of awkward next to one another.

Erica: That said, this made clear that my favorite is Koine. I’m just obsessed with her hands. Damn, though, Taylor can kick high. They were both spectacular, really.

Kate: Taylor is still better technically, and Koine is just a better all-around performer. I felt she really threw herself into this one perfectly, more so than Taylor.

 

Lex & Kiki: Hip-Hop, choreo by Luther Brown

“The Rain (Supa Dupa Fly)” by Missy Elliott

 

Kate: Another FANTASTIC song choice.

Erica: I mean, they were not bad. But there have definitely been dancers on this show who could have done this routine better. I did like the choreography.

Kate: They did their very best, and better than I expected them to. They shouldn’t (and hopefully won’t) win.

Erica: I also think there was a problem with the way the costumes and lighting were working against this routine. Like, I couldn’t really see them well enough.

Kate: That might just be a you problem. I love that Cat has started to critique the dances a little bit this season before handing it over to the judges — perhaps to compensate for stupid Hudgy?!

 

Taylor & Robert: Contemporary, choreo by Travis Wall

“Change is Everything (A Cappella Version)” by Son Lux

Erica: Yes. Expected choice from her but also gorgeous routine performed beautifully.

Kate: Oh, yay! I love them together so much. This was even better than the first time. Although, I wonder if my love for her is somewhat (or mostly) tied to my love for Robert…

Erica: Nigel once danced with Cyd Charisse. That’s…Amazing.

Kate: But doesn’t excuse his gross comments/general behavior.

 

Lex & Gaby: Tap, choreo by Anthony Morigerato

“More” by Bobby Darin

Erica: Do you think he chose this because he wanted to make Gaby wear this dress again? They seem to have the kind of relationship where he would needle her like that.

Kate: I think he chose this because he’s a tapper? Is he not a tapper? He’s not a tapper. I just don’t care about him or Kiki, I’m sorry.

Erica: It’s a nice routine. They do it well together. I like his bouncy splits. His feet seem a little heavy, though, no?

Kate: He’s just not that good.

 

Kiki & Koine: Contemporary, choreo by Travis Wall

“Both Sides Now” by Joni Mitchell

Erica: Who?! Who was it who hurt Koine’s heart?! I will kill you with a knife.

Kate: I’ll be there also, with a baseball bat!

Erica: The camerawork here was unfairly swoopy and WTF was with the Koine closeups? The choreography was lovely, though. Prop-heavy but good use of them.

Kate: The closeups must have had something to do with the rapid costume changes.

Erica: Does Kiki die in the end?

Kate: If he’s the one who broke her heart, then yes. This was wonderful, but mostly because of her.

 

Lex & Taylor: Contemporary, choreo by Mia Michaels

“You Matter to Me” by Sara Bareilles feat. Jason Mraz

Erica: I’m sort of disappointed, having waited all show for the Mia Michaels routine, that it’s not a group routine.

Kate: Where has she been?

Erica: Lex and Taylor are in love. Lex and Taylor are in love?! How do I feel about this? Do we think this is even true? If it is true, do they know that if they stay in love and get married and have babies and all that, Nigel will show up to their weddings and baby showers and everything forever, declaring loudly his own part in bringing them together?

Kate: Among other creepy statements. They really did kiss for a long time in a lot of the parts. I don’t like her with him as much as I like her with Robert DANCE-wise, but they definitely had lovey-dovey chemistry.  

Erica: The choreography is gorgeous and they perform it well, especially Taylor. But there is an unfair close-up on her at the end. I think the cameramen agree with me that the girls are the best.

Kate: How could they not?

 

Results

Erica: No results tonight. Tune in to next week’s finale for last week’s and this week’s results and the winner. Which should be Koine but I will also accept Taylor but if Lex wins because of the combined forces of misogyny and this announcement of Twu Luv, I will be mad.

Kate: So then, what will they be PERFORMING next week? I guess we’ll have to tune in and see!

Emmys 2017

Kate: Well, this snuck up on us now didn’t it?!

Erica: Everything in my life is sneaking up on me. I feel like I am being hit by a never-ending series of steam trains.

Kate: It’s because we are usually done with SYTYCD at this point, but Fox is messing with our minds/schedules.

Erica: Sure. Let’s blame Fox. I didn’t watch the Emmys. I will, as soon as I have thirty seconds, watch Stephen Colbert’s opening monologue, because he’s wonderful. But I’m just looking at pictures.

Kate: I actually feel a bit out of it this year in terms of Emmy nominees, but not in terms of the fashion. I am always into the fashion. And with that…

 

Anna Chlumsky

Kate: Oooooh! She is normally quite the mess at these things, but I love this dress. Sparkly/chrome-y mermaid-chic.

Erica: Holy moly. She looks good! I can’t believe she looks this good!

Kate: If the dress had been all the same color/material as the top or all the same color/material as the skirt, it would not have worked. Together, it works.

Erica: I mean, this is not my number one thing, although I would have actually preferred a more smooth transition from top to bottom, but I just can’t believe that she’s shown up looking like a normal, pretty celebrity and not like an insane human with no concept of what human bodies look like or what is visually appealing.

Kate: I would have done a more interesting hairstyle than just slicked-back-straight (which really looks like half-up in this photo), but overall I’m really happy with this.

 

Anna Faris

Kate: I am so, so sad about her and Chris Pratt.

Erica: I know. Love is dead. It doesn’t exist. I knew it when Amy Poehler and Will Arnett broke up. But now I really know it.

Kate: I can tell she doesn’t even want to be here because she is sad as well, probably sadder than I am. (Also, she didn’t do the red carpet.)

Erica: She looks very beautiful. Very tiny. But very beautiful.

Kate: I do like this dress, though; that shade of pinky-purple, even with the red-ish sparkle, works well against her fair skin and hair. That being said, I don’t love the hair with the dress.

Erica: Well, the hair feels a little phoned in. But the color, which I usually prefer on brunettes, looks terrific. Plus she gets to stand next to Allison Janney so that’s a pretty good day.

 

Ariel Winter

Kate: Oh my god, she’s naked. Why is she naked?

Erica: She usually goes pretty sexual. That’s a lot of leg.

Kate: She’s so pretty but this is really freaking me out. Those slits are way too high!

Erica: And these were not subtle, you-only-see-them-when-I-move slits. These were the kind of slits that were more present than the skirt.

 

Claire Foy

Kate: Is that…Queen Elizabeth?! I almost didn’t recognize her!

Erica: Did you watch that show? Can we have many conversations about it? Can we talk about how both Prince Phillip and not-King-Edward whine A LOT about things that are the obvious and natural consequences of decisions they themselves made wholeheartedly?

Kate: Yes I like that show a lot. Season 2 is coming semi-soon! But I don’t like this pantsuit with the half-cape thing and silver knot. Not at all. She is pretty, this is not.

Erica: I hate all of the things happening on this outfit. All of them. I like the person in the outfit. But I hate the outfit.

 

Debra Messing

Kate: So, Will & Grace is coming back. How about that?

Erica: I feel like maybe we are reaching peak revival time and should step back now. Hey, did you know Debra Messing is a Brandeis alum?

Kate: I did not! Her hair looks fantastic. But her eye makeup is too dark and something about her overall makeup on her face is off, and I really do not like the dress whatsoever. It looks like rubber, AND YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT BELTS.

Erica: The dress material is dreadful and overwhelming. The shape would be fine in another material. The hair is her hair which is great hair. But discussing anything about the look other than that fabric is very “But other than that, how did you like the play, Mrs. Lincoln?”

 

Elisabeth Moss

Kate: The color of that dress with the color of her hair and her skin is just not good.

Erica: I don’t know that I mind that so much. I mean, it’s not perfect, but I’m not terribly upset about it.

Kate: I also don’t like the length at all — it looks like it was supposed to be floor-length (in which case it would have been boring) and they literally just chopped it. Shoes are too matchy-matchy.

Erica: It looks way too young for her. And I mean that in a very non-bitchy way, because I think the very last day this look would be appropriate would be your Sweet 16.

 

Ellie Kemper

Kate: Ugh, I still have not finished the latest season of Kimmy Schmidt! Who/what am I turning into?

Erica: It was good but not great.

Kate: I love this, though. It’s a modern, bedazzled version of a kimono, but not in a bad way. It looks great on her — the color, the sparkle, even the slightly mussy updo. I especially love the pink earrings; they really pop against the blueness dress in the most perfect way. (This picture doesn’t do it justice; it looked phenomenal during the preshow.)

Erica: I like it but I don’t love it. I think the sheerness is too sheer such that the difference between the skirt and the bodice is too stark, and then the sheerness on the bottom looks weird with shoes. I think there should be more glittery stuff on the bottom to mask the shoes. I do, however, like the colorful beading and the overall color and silhouette on her.

Kate: I swear, it’s just a bad photo that is not doing it justice.

 

Emmy Rossum

Kate: Perfection, as usual. Looking a little Anne Hathaway-esque, no?

Erica: For me, this is a little boring. Beautiful, but boring. Her eye makeup game is perfection, though.

 

Evan Rachel Wood

Kate: Has she ever NOT worn a tuxedo-like thing on the red carpet?

Erica: I think it’s her thing now. I have to say, this might be my favorite iteration.

Kate: I think it’s her thing always, which is ok, because she looks good in them. I love the color of this one, and her hair is in the perfect updo with perfect makeup. A tuxedo-like thing is almost never going to make it onto my Best Dressed list, though. Call me old-fashioned, but it’s the truth.

Erica: You are a little old-fashioned. I’m quite impressed with this look.

 

Gina Rodriguez

Kate: She looks pretty, but this is just too beauty pageant-y. Just too.

Erica: I have been told I should watch her show. I really hate this dress but I’m sure her show is good.

 

Heidi Klum

Kate: Ok so it’s NOT crazy like the Big Bird outfit or the lavender monstrosity, and I like her hair like that, but this dress is very I’m-at-a-private-dinner-at-a-super-fabulous-resort-in-Mexico. And it’s good for that, but the Emmys are not a private dinner at a fancy resort in Mexico.

Erica: Yeah, I would say, I’m into the hair but the dress is…If even I think there’s too much boob, there’s too much boob.

Kate: I am also NOT into the enormous bangles covering half her arms and the hoop earrings down to her shoulders. Tacky.

Erica: Oh, I kind of am into them. For a fancy resort in Mexico.

Kate: Which this is not!

 

Jane Krakowski

Kate: Va-va-voom!

Erica: I mean, the dress, yes, but also that bob looks perfection.

Kate: This is very wonderful and very much a LOOK with the straight sleek angled bob and and deep V and blackness of the dress. AND BEFORE YOU SAY ANYTHING, I know there is a little belt buckle there, but I think it is part of the dress and not an additional piece and therefore (mostly) acceptable. I would probably like the dress better without it, though.

Erica: Yeah, I understand the belt buckle thing but I wish it were not red. And I am not persuaded that it is necessary at all.

Kate: Also, when I was looking at E!’s red carpet coverage on their site, they had spelled her last name “Krasowski” at first, and I felt superior. Still kind of do.

 

Jessica Biel

Kate: Oh my, she is very teeny-tiny. I have always admired her for having the perfect body in terms of muscle tone and proportion, but she is a little on the skinny side for me right now. Lurve the dress, but it only works on her newly skinnier frame, I think. I also feel like the Fashion Police (the real ones, not us) will absolutely hate it because it looks “unfinished” or “too drapey” or “like 2 dresses slapped together”.

Erica: Oh I love so much this look. They would not be wrong about the two dresses, but I love the drape and I love the hair and I love the makeup and I love the softness.

Kate: Always great makeup with her. Hair is a bit poofy up top — this dress calls for something sleeker, I think — but overall a soft, lovely look.

Erica: I like it. I like the poofy. She looks like she’s the dream version of somebody’s crush object in a movie.

 

Julia Louis-Dreyfus

Kate: Julia you sexy little sneak, not doing the red carpet even though you KNEW you would be on stage because you KNEW you would win AGAIN!

Erica: Good on her. For winning, I mean. She really is the best. J is doing a whole re-watching of all of the Seinfelds (God bless you, Hulu, for the good work you do) and I don’t watch all of them but damn, she is wonderful.

Kate: While this is obviously part of her standard look, I like the pops of color with the golden embroidery and turquoise earrings, and I like that she did her hair a little looser/wilder than usual. She can just never do any wrong for me.

Erica: Yeah, this is one of my favorite iterations of her usual. I really love the gold embroidery.

 

Julie Bowen

Kate: I had no idea this was Julie Bowen at first. What has happened to her? Is she okay?

Erica: Her face does not look okay.

Kate: This dress — the color and the gigantic ruffle — is completely swallowing her. I hate it.

Erica: I mean, for her, it’s not bad. She’s definitely done worse.

 

Kate McKinnon

Kate: Has she worn this before? Or something very similar? All they had to do was show the bottom of the dress and I had a feeling it was her.

Erica: I…There is something familiar here, yes. But I’m not sure it was her?

Kate: Regardless, she looks great. She has found what works on her and is sticking to it. Her hair looks very elegant; makeup and jewelry are perfectly understated. Best Dressed nominee?

Erica: Oh, I don’t know. She looks good but uninteresting.

 

Kiernan Shipka

Kate: Mad Men is OVER, what is she still doing here?

Erica: I mean, I hope she has a good reason to be here.

Kate: Sorry, that came out angrier than I intended. Oh, she was in Feud, so that’s why. This is very princessy and cute. I don’t like her hair.

Erica: This is strangely young for her. It looks like something she would have worn to one of her first Emmys. I don’t much like it but I don’t hate it.

 

Laverne Cox

Kate: Ian and I were not impressed with the last season of OITNB, thus we have not watched the newest one, but that will not stop me from reviewing the show’s stars’ fashion. This is fabulous as usual from Laverne.

Erica: I did not like this season. I knew it was going to be hard for me to like a season that did not have Poussey. But also, what OITNB was good at was taking these characters who would be so easy to dismiss as nothing more than jailbirds and making them real people. This past season, they mostly made them jokes. It was a betrayal of the premise.

Kate: Yikes. The only thing I don’t really like/don’t think goes with the rest of the dress is the straps.

Erica: Oh, yeah, because they are ruffly and the dress has the geometric thing going. It’s too bad because the silhouette looks stunning on her and, for my personal taste, I’d rather that the dress go with the sleeves than that the sleeves go with the dress. I also don’t love the deep-roots hair look but I have obviously lost that fashion battle.

 

Lea Michele

Kate: Ugh, I just said during Debra Messing’s critique that I hate belts, and then my fave Brad Goreski had to go and style Lea with a belt. Dammit, Brad!

Erica: Dammit, Brad! It’s a bad use of belt, too.

Kate: I like the rest of the dress, though, even though it’s a print (kind of). Good color. She still takes herself too seriously.

Erica: I like the color a lot, and I like the color on her. I do not like the hair. And also, isn’t Glee off the air? What is she still doing here?

Kate: Brad keeps styling her, so she keeps showing up to these events.

 

Leslie Jones

Kate: With her build I probably would have gone with something a little simpler and sleeker. This just has way too much going on with the sparkle and the sheer and the slit and the long earrings.

Erica: I feel like it’s just bordering on an ice dancer dress. Although that could be fixed by just taking the sheer panel off the top. And, again, I think the super sheer skirt with the shoes just looks weird. But I like the femininity for her.

 

Mandy Moore

Kate: Nope. Nope, nope nope.

Erica: Oooh I hate this so much in its entirety except maybe the pop of pink lip.

Kate: She is either super-amazing or super-awful on the red carpet, there is no in between with her. I hate this so much. It’s the top of a Jessica McClintock prom dress circa 2005 with the skirt of an unfinished ballet costume over the underskirt of a Gone with the Wind Halloween costume.

Erica: I hate this dress. A lot.

Kate: Just nope. Worst Dressed nominee.

 

Michelle Pfeiffer

Kate: Stephanie Zinone coming out of the woodwork here, eh? Why is she there all of a sudden?

Erica: Isn’t she married to someone? Like, a business side guy?

Kate: Oh, she was in The Wizard of Lies about Madoff. Well, she looks quite nice, a little bit like Kelly Ripa but softer/less scary-skinny. I really like what she’s doing with her hair.

Erica: I don’t like the dress, though. Tea length. Long sleeve. High neck. Weird waist. Not for me.

Kate: Not for YOU, for Stephanie Zinone!

 

Nicole Kidman

Kate: This feels a bit too Oscars for me, even with the shorter length. She looks absolutely stunning in red, I just don’t think it fits the occasion, especially next to her Big Little Lies co-star Reese Witherspoon, who is wearing a short dark turquoise blazer-dress.

Erica: I like it.

Kate: I also don’t like the silver things dangling from the neck — designer, you could have done the gown without them. (They looked worse during the preshow than in this photo.)

Erica: Maybe it’s because of those stupid f-ing parrots at last year’s SAG Awards, but this, I think looks so good on her and so lovely.

Kate: Perfect hair and makeup and jewelry. I don’t even mind that the lipstick matches the dress so perfectly.

 

Priyanka Chopra

Kate: I get that this is super high-fashion and couture and all that jazz, and I even kind of like it (on her), but I can’t help but sweat just looking at her. How is she not overheating?

Erica: No, I hate it a lot.

Kate: Her hair and makeup and jewelry are always fabulous, so no complaints there. Just…So sweaty.

Erica: Hate it. Hate feathers. Hate high necks and long sleeves and weird, not-working-together-at-all bling on the collar and sleeve with the bling all over. Hate.

 

Rashida Jones

Kate: Wow. Very, very beautiful.

Erica: I love the color and cut of it. I wish there was not that weird space between her boobs and her midriff.

Kate: That’s because you hate cutouts, but I think it works here. I really am not into bangs, but I know it’s her thing, and I like them a lot better with this slightly shorter haircut. The dress reminds me of something Mila Kunis wore many years ago, and the whole look is very softer-side-of-Cleopatra. Best Dressed nominee!

Erica: Yes. I knew there was someone with a similar dress. I support the bangs on her; I’m assuming there’s something awful about her forehead.

Kate: In the episodes of The Office that she’s on, when her bangs are pushed back away from her face, it really does look odd.

 

Reese Witherspoon

Kate: I just watched Sweet Home Alabama for the 785th time, and she was just on Watch What Happens Live promoting her new movie Home Again, and I just never stop loving her. She’s so darling.

Erica: Oh, yeah, we watched her on that. She and Candice Bergen both obviously thought that Andy Cohen was an idiot.

Kate: THEY DID NOT AND HE IS NOT! I’m not super into this look, especially since her hair extensions don’t look well done, but I like that she did something out of her comfort zone and far from her usual red carpet look. It just doesn’t look that good.

Erica: I like the color a lot and I think it’s cut well and fits great. It’s just kinda weird. I’m not super into it. Love her, though.

 

Regina King

Kate: Wow, I kind of love this? Not her hair, at least not in this photo, but the dress is great. Even though it’s a print! See, I’m growing as a person.

Erica: I like the dress but why is everyone doing that thing with their hair? The slick on top, sort of half wavy on the bottom thing? I don’t like it.

Kate: Nor do I.

 

Sarah Hyland

Kate: This is perhaps the most awkwardly placed and shaped cutout I have ever seen. Do you hate it extra much?

Erica: Yes. I hate it as much as I hate all the cutouts, plus this one is extra weird.

Kate: I also hate the leaf print, the color(s) and whatever odd makeup/surgical things she has done to her face. And I am disappointed to learn that Brad Goreski styled her as well. Maybe he’s not actually my favorite?

Erica: Yeah, she’s WAY too young to make you wonder who did her work.

 

Sarah Paulson

Kate: I find this to be as daring and high-fashion and couture as Priyanka Chopra’s dress, and I think it looks equally hot and sweaty in there.

Erica: Hate. Hate. Hate it all. Hate it so much. Worst Dressed nominee.

Kate: I don’t like the length, but I like the short low pony and I LOVE the makeup. Love.

Erica: Hate.

 

Shailene Woodley

Kate: I honestly could start to like this dress if I tried, even though I don’t like velvet, but I can’t because the awful hair and makeup are way too distracting.

Erica: Her hair is really distractingly awful. The dress, I feel, is fine. Not good. Just fine.

Kate: I do not think she is aging well. I KNOW SHE IS STILL YOUNG, I just mean, I don’t think she is looking better as she gets past each birthday, as many normal human beings do. I think she is looking worse and worse.

Erica: I feel like maybe it’s that she doesn’t wear makeup well. And she wears her hair stupidly.

 

Sofia Vergara

Kate: My dislike for her decreased recently after watching Hot Pursuit (another reason I continue to love Reese Witherspoon) — it was actually, like, laugh-out-loud funny. It’s not hard to make me laugh out loud, but I was pleasantly surprised.

Erica: Huh. I did not have any urge to watch it but that is quite an endorsement.

Kate: I mean, it’s silly, but who cares? Anyway, this dress is very Sofia — like, she maybe has worn this exact thing before in many different colors — but the hair is not. I do not like the bangs at all, but I like that she went for a high pony. The earrings are too heavy and dark for the rest of the look.

Erica: I feel like this dress is her thing and it’s a good example of her thing. I do like the hair but I do not like the earrings.

Kate: I also think a paler, nuder lip would have gone better with the bright white gown. More elegant.

 

Susan Sarandon

Kate: I mean, she looks like her. Dressed-up her. She almost always wears this dress in navy blue or black, right?

Erica: I’m mad at her right now. I mean, she looks fine. But I’m mad.

Kate: Care to elaborate?

Erica: She was a never Hillary person who was all, “Well, if the revolution comes as a result of Trump winning this election, then great! Bring on the revolution.” And that’s all I want to say about that.

 

Uzo Aduba

Kate: This looks quite bad.

Erica: The dress is not good. I don’t like whatever is happening at her waist.

Kate: I don’t like the white, I don’t like the silver vertical stripes, I don’t like that it’s 2 pieces, I don’t like any of it at all.

Erica: I like her hair like that.

 

Vanessa Bayer

Kate: Her hair and makeup and jewelry all look great, and I suppose the silhouette of the gown is ok, but, again, I hate the print. A lot. It looks like curtains. In a really old, ugly house.

Erica: I think it looks like what the teacher chaperone wears to the prom. Well, the young, single teacher. Who is hoping the recently divorced head of the English department notices her.

 

Viola Davis

Kate: Oooh I LOVE that color!!!

Erica: Yes! And it is only good for women of her hue.

Kate: The dress silhouette is a safe choice and also her usual taste, but I feel like we have not really seen this color on the carpet ever before, and I’m all for it.

Erica: She has a thing and she does it well. In this case, very, very well.

Kate: Alas, Best Dressed?

Erica: God, I don’t know. Even the people I liked weren’t that interesting. Except Evan Rachel Wood, but I respect your No-Non-Dresses-on-the-Best-Dressed rule. Maybe Jessica Biel? Who do you want to give it to?

Kate: You know what, let’s give it to Evan Rachel Wood! (I said a tuxedo-like thing is ALMOST never going to make it onto my Best Dressed list. This moment is almost never.) Worst?

Erica: SARAH PAULSON I HATE IT SO MUCH I HATE IT.

Kate: Oh, no, I don’t hate it as much as you do. Shailene Woodley?

Erica: I don’t hate that nearly as much as I hate Sarah Paulson’s. Priyanka Chopra or Mandy Moore?

Kate: OH yes, Mandy! See you at the Globes, folks!

SYTYCD Season 14 – Top 6 Perform

Erica: Sorry about the delay this week, guys. This is one of about 20 things I SWORE I would get done BEFORE leaving for Vegas. Which is where we are now. I am writing this from the plush velvet couch in our lovely room at the Palazzo at 6:00 in the morning because my kids haven’t adjusted for the time difference.

Kate: Yea, we have LIVES, guys. (I also forgot to watch Monday and Tuesday night.)

Erica: And for those of you keeping track at home, two will be eliminated tonight and then I guess next week is the finale because Fox wants to get this show done already. Listen, Fox, you are wrong and this show is delightful but why you gotta play things like this?

Kate: It used to be delightful, but I have to admit it has lost a good chunk of its charm for me.

Erica: And, as ever, there will be solos, but we will not cover them.

Cat Deeley’s Ensemble

Kate: Good hair. Bad makeup.

Erica: Her hair looks great. The dress is not my thing but it’s fine I guess.

Kate: I’m just not into prints like that. The silvery-smoky makeup is too matchy-matchy with the dress, and the shoes don’t go at all. I know they’re black, but they just don’t go. Ugh, I am so mean!

Erica: Are we covering the other ladies? Because Hudgy looks strange but it’s not her stupidest outfit. And Mary looks like she’s wearing your maiden aunt’s nightgown from 1972. I say this with love, Mary Murphy. With love.

Zoe: Mary Murphy’s outfit isn’t bad this week.

Erica: Well, we all have our own opinions.

Kate: I have hated every single “look” of Vanessa Hudgy’s on every single episode of this season. It looks like her face is painted actual red. That is an accurate description of Mary’s outfit, Er, and it makes sense that you don’t think it’s bad, Zoe. (Love you.)

Group Routine (All): Contemporary, choreo by Christopher Scott
“Prism” by Nathan Lanier

Erica: So, as a routine, I thought it was pretty neat. The boys were in all black and started the routine with these white boxes, which, I know, props are annoying, but I didn’t think these were a bad use of props. Then they rather spectacularly revealed the girls in white. And the routine was very sharp and precise and cool. But the dancers were not as sharp as they needed to be. The choreo was great; the dancers were not all living up to it.

Kate: I loved the concept — very synchronized swimming without the water. The sharpness has been an issue this entire season; like, seasons 1-5 judges/voters would NEVER have stood for this low level of sharpness.

Erica: There was an especially telling moment where Cyrus and Fik-Shun were doing the same thing, and Cyrus looked 180 times as sharp as Fik-Shun did.

Kate: Yes, I am becoming more and more pro-Cyrus than I ever was during his season.

Lex & Gaby: Samba, choreo by Sasha Farber
“Chillando Goma” by Fulanito

Erica: I am super into her outfit. There’s these really colorful tassels on her skirt and I am in favor.

Kate: I was really into this routine, more so than usual for these two, but I can’t help but wish two REALLY GOOD ballroom dancers had performed it instead. Cool tricks, though.

Erica: Was this sort of African-jazz-inflected samba? I felt like with those flexed-wrist-and-ankle it was. And then Mary Murphy backed me up there. So I know things now.

Kate: That’s kind of what it felt like at first, but then it went mostly into samba.

Erica: I thought it was fine. Fun and wild. But not particularly sexy, as they were saying it was supposed to be in the rehearsal footage.

Kate: …And then Nigel told Lex to go and take some ballroom lessons before the tour? Ouch! (Also, HOW MANY TIMES CAN THEY PROMOTE THE DAMN TOUR IN ONE EPISODE? I went once, and it was super-cool, but come on guys.)

Koine & Marko: Contemporary, choreo by Mandy Korpinen & Elizabeth Petrin
“You’re the Last Thing On My Mind” by Aron Wright

Erica: So this was a routine centered around this big closet set piece and that was making all of the Jewish mother instincts I have in me scream “No! Get off that! Stop it!”

Kate: Haha. (Real laugh.)

Erica: I thought there were some really beautiful moves — like when they were both hanging from the hanger with their legs entangled — but it didn’t cohere for me. It felt like a series of moves as opposed to a dance. That’s more about the choreo than the dancing. Koine, as ever, was gorgeous and perfect.

Kate: Yes, it was very heavy on the acting/tricks/props more so than the dancing, but I am a sucker for super-emo contemporary to slow songs about sad relationships. So sue me.

Ian: I feel like you and I could do this on the playground, but the judges are going to say it’s incredible.

Erica: And then Nigel has to be gross to Koine and women in general, and insulting to Mary Murphy, by speculating that he would like to hang a piece of lingerie in his closet and get a beautiful woman but with his luck he’d probably get a Mary Murphy. You so wish, Nigel. Shut up.

Kate: Ewwwwwww.

Zoe: Taylor’s solo was pretty amazing, but it had a pretty weird outfit in an awful color.

Kate: Zoe, we’re not covering solos! But you’re right, it’s like someone cut up a bridesmaid dress (in not that awful a color?) and made it into a dance costume.

Kiki & Jenna: Jazz, choreo by Ray Leeper
“Proud Mary” by Tina Turner

Kate: Such a fun song, but it would lend itself better to a bigger group routine.

Erica: I did not see one second of this dance because Sadie was dancing next to me on the couch and for one thing I had to prevent her from falling off but also it was SO DAMN CUTE YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW.

Kate: Next time, film it!

Zoe: Jenna’s outfit is really sparkly and I like that but it’s also a little weird-looking.

Kate: It’s very Tina.

Erica: The few moves I did see looked like the moves everyone ever does to “Proud Mary,” so way to phone it in, there, Ray Leeper.

Kate: Yes, Ian was extremely upset about this routine and this show overall, I won’t even include all of his very angry comments. Her stupid facial expressions were very distracting, and he looked a bit unsure of himself. Fun, but not great. PS Jenna totally said “Ray Leeter” instead of “Ray Leeper” and that made me feel really good about myself.

Kaylee & Cyrus: Hip-hop, choreo by Phillip Chbeeb
“Die Trying” by Michl

Erica: For a minute I thought this was another piece with a prop to make me nervous. But they didn’t stand it up so that was good. Kind of stupid for the live audience, but good for my heart.

Kate: They were SUPER prop-happy this week. I love these two.

Erica: I continue to be impressed by her attitude. I could not tell why this was hip-hop and not jazz but it was cool and well-performed.

Zoe: LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT!!!

Kate: Me too, Zoe! Love all your commentary this week. You sat and watched with Mommy the whole time, eh?

Erica: But also Sadie started dancing and she was AMAZING. Nigel continues to be a little passive-aggressive to her.

Kate: Nigel is passive-aggressive to Sadie? I’ll kill him.

Group Routine (All-Stars): Contemporary, choreo by Andrew Winghart
“Floreana” by Baauer

Kate: I really didn’t know what to make of this style — they were all wearing pasodoble outfits, but doing some kind of modern-jazz-contemporary mashup. Hey, how come we don’t do “modern” on this show?

Erica: It’s not 100% clear to me what the difference would be between “modern” and “contemporary”. But I don’t think “jazz” is really its own style any more, and “Broadway” hardly means anything at all, so who knows?

Kate: Modern is more flexing, contemporary is more pointing. Of the feet, I mean. The weirdness/annoyingness of the song and the shiny red-and-black skirts were quite distracting, but this was overall ok.

Erica: They gave Jenna a little solo and I hate her so much. I know it’s irrational. Zoe is sitting next to me, going, “You know she’s a pretty good dancer, right?” And I do know. I do. But I hate her. This number was fine but not memorable.

Taylor & Robert: Hip-hop, choreo by Mari & Keone Madrid
“Numb & Getting Colder” by Flume feat. Kucka

Kate: Now HERE was the sharpness I’ve been waiting for. Excellent.

Erica: Oh my goodness. This was cool as anything I’ve seen.

Kate: I thought it was simply perfection. Love these two.

Erica: Love these two. Love the choreo. The wobble they did? The perfectly in sync WOBBLE. Are we kidding? So good.

Zoe: Amazing amazing amazing.

Logan & Allison: Contemporary, choreo by Dee Caspary
“The Other Side” by Ruelle

Kate: It is very hard to believe these two could have a romantic relationship in any routine they’ve done this season, but this is the closest they’ve come so far.

Erica: I’ve always liked Logan, although I acknowledge the chemistry problems between these two. This piece really showed him off perfectly. They were amazing in it.

Kate: The dancing itself was fantastic, very sharp and synchronized. God help me, I liked Hudgy’s description of it: “Sexy Contemporary”.

Erica: But it’s accurate. I also have positive feelings about Dee Caspary, though I’m struggling to remember what specific other routines he’s choreographed that I’ve liked.

Kate: I know we’re not covering solos, but Kiki took his shirt off at the end of his and Mary IMMEDIATELY stood up and started clapping with a VERY happy/satisfied look on her face. It was silly.

Lex & Koine: Disco, choreo by Doriana Sanchez
“Knock On Wood” Amii Stewart

Kate: I don’t know if disco suits these 2, or if these 2 suit each other, because this felt a little off.

Erica: I don’t generally like disco on this show, and I’m not a big Lex fan. I felt a lot of moves looked unfinished and their chemistry and trust were non-existent.

Kate: She was adorable, though, with great legs and lifts and turns, so maybe it was just him?

Erica: I like her a lot. But she was pulling some weird faces here. I kept thinking she was chewing gum. But I still love her. And I think she pulled her weight more than he did.

Kate: Quite awkward when they were talking about his potential injury/Cat was trying to tell him where to go after revealing he was in the top 4/finale, which I am not happy about. WAIT, DORIANA SANCHEZ WAS IN DIRTY DANCING? OMG YES, SHE WAS ONE OF THE FUN DANCE FRIENDS! YAY DORIANA!

Erica: Blergh. I don’t want to yay Doriana. And that was a super-awkward way to handle results. I didn’t like it at all. It was like they were trying to build tension but they flubbed it. And they’ve been doing this too long to flub it.

Taylor & Logan: Jazz, choreo by Mark Kanemura
“Gypsy” by Lady Gaga

Kate: What. Is with. These. Costumes.

Erica: I…Definitely had that outfit in 1995. Or I wanted it.

Kate: Fine, fine, outfits aside, I like him better when he is with her. She is so talented. I can’t decide between her, Koine and Kaylee! Maybe she is the most skilled technically, Koine the funnest, and Kaylee the most interesting/most improved?

Erica: God the three of them are spectacular. I also have to put in another plug for Kaylee’s overall attitude. I love all three of them. Also maybe I like Lady Gaga? Is that okay?

Kate: Duh?!

Kiki & Kaylee: Bollywood, choreo by Nakul Dev Mahajan
“Gallan Goodiyaan” by Dil Dhadakne Do (Soundtrack)

Kate: And in what should come as a surprise to no one, Kaylee was very good at Bollywood. Better than Kiki. But he was still good too.

Erica: She brought the joy. She didn’t look like she was acting happy; she looked like she WAS happy.

Kate: You might have Sadie doing cute dances, but Ian danced to this entire song while also making me my nightly cup of sleepy tea, so he called it his “tea dance”, so now I have that in my life.

Erica: That is a pretty amazing thing to have in your life and I also wish you had filmed that.

Kate: Oh my god, I think Nigel made his most inappropriate/racist comment yet: If Kiki doesn’t get picked up by Dancing with the Stars next season, he can always be an Uber driver in Mumbai. !!!!!!

Results

Kate: So Kiki, Lex and Taylor are all in the top 4/finale. I am sad that either Koine or Kaylee is going home.

Erica: I really could do without both Kiki and Lex.

Kate: OH BUT I’M SO HAPPY IT’S KOINE IN THE TOP 4/FINALE! YAY! Good job, Kaylee. Bye, Logan.

Erica: I mean, I like both the people leaving better than I like Kiki or Lex. I GUESS THAT’S WHAT I GET FOR NOT VOTING, HUH?

Kate: Yeah, I usually only vote in the finale. Hypocrite, much?

SYTYCD Season 14 – Top 7 Perform

Cat Deeley’s Look

Kate: The hair, makeup and jewelry is all way too Khloe Kardashian for my liking.

Erica: I do not know enough about the Kardashians to recognize these things as such, and I still hate everything.

Kate: The plaid is atrocious.

Erica: I like that hairstyle, if you’re going to kickboxing class. Or the beach.

Kate: Meanwhile, Mary’s dress is trying to eat her.

 

Group Routine (All): Broadway, choreo by Warren Carlyle

“Overture” by Merrily We Roll Along (2012 New York Cast)

Kate: I feel it was messy and it was the fault of the choreographer, not the dancers.

Erica: Yes. None of the dance moves were particularly impressive in their own selves, nor did they look particularly impressive as a whole. And the camera was swooping around like crazy to make you think you were watching a coordinated piece, but you were not.

Kate: Maybe I just don’t really like the Broadway dance genre as a whole?

Erica: No. I love the Broadway genre. I was really excited for this song and for this look. It was a disappointing dance.

Kate: Yes, YOU love it, but maybe I do not. Hold on, we’re going from 7 to 4 dancers/next week is the FINALE? Fox, just cancel the show already. This is weird.

Erica: Holy moly. That is super-weird and abrupt. I don’t want them to cancel but if this is as much faith as they have, then, yeah. Time to go.

 

Lex & Gaby: Hip-Hop, choreo by Luther Brown

“Humble” by Kendrick Lamar

Kate: Well, he has much more “swag” than she does, but it’s still not much. He was kind of stiff.

Erica: There was a moment when Gaby was doing that puppet master thing with Lex and the camera was off to the side. That tells me that either a) the camerawork on this show is kind of shoddy, or b) they knew the move didn’t look good from the front.

Kate: It was good, just not what I’d really want/expect to see in the episode before the finale/top 4 dancers. Ya know?

Erica: The judges seem wild about it. I’m not seeing what they’re seeing. Nigel (whose suit is kind of dope tonight, no?) is definitely talking like this show is ending. “When I started this show, I wanted every genre of dance to be respected.” That’s some “I’ve had the time of my life” talk.

Kate: Yes, Nigel’s suit is nicer than usual.

 

Logan & Allison: African Jazz, choreo by Sean Cheesman

“Kabila” by Lord KraVen

Erica: BTW, there are solos tonight, but we’re not covering them. Assume the dancers managed, once again, to not suck in their own genre for thirty seconds.

Kate: He is much more muscular than I thought he was.

Erica: So…Sean Cheesman is black, and therefore this isn’t racist? Okay.

Kate: Why would it be racist?

Erica: African Jazz always gives me a bit of liberal white guilt. Because it feels — and this routine was maybe the epitome of that — very “Oh look at the adorable savage way these Africans dance!” But I think it’s a problem with figuring out where the line is between cultural appropriation and cultural appreciation/adaptation. And I never know where the line is and sometimes I think it comes down to things like, “Well, Sean Cheesman is black, so that’s okay.”

Kate: But African Jazz is a real dance genre. It’s not racist. This was one of the better routines they have done together, but I’m not obsessed with it. Why did it get a standing O?

Erica: Oh, I thought it was very good. I thought the two of them moved their bodies in amazing ways, in a very coordinated fashion. Also, Sadie? Super into this routine. Bopped her butt, clapped, and made “ooh” sounds at the appropriate moments.

Kate: Well, then I love it.

 

Kaylee & Cyrus: Contemporary, choreo by Tasty Oreo

“DKLA” by Troye Sivan feat. Tkay Maidza

Kate: Loved it. She/they started out as my least favorite dancer/pair, and now look at her/them.

Erica: This was really quite good. She’s better than he is.

Kate: I just think she has embodied what this show is all about — growing as a dancer and becoming an expert in all styles, not just your own.

Erica: Her attitude is just terrific. I felt that Nigel was a little passive-aggressive about his commentary — “Oh, Tasty gave you the right moves so that you could look good together,” but I think that was unfair, at least as far as she is concerned. She’s shown over and over again how well she can handle things outside her comfort zone.

Kate: And, you know, Nigel said his real name, “Tyce”, not “Tasty”.

Erica: Whatever.

 

Kiki & Jenna: Broadway, choreo by Warren Carlyle

“Dancin’ Fool” by Barry Manilow

Kate: THIS Broadway, I like. His ballroom-ness made it kind of a sexy-Broadway, which I liked more than I expected to. Bravo, Kiki! (Still think that name is weird.)

Erica: I thought this was much better choreography but only slightly better dancing. They had a lot of verve and personality but there were too many moments where they weren’t together. And she seemed to not really be following through on all her moves.

Kate: More importantly, I loved Jenna’s red dance shoes. And THIS standing O, I understand. Even Cat loved it! Wait, why did she love it SO much, though?

Erica: Boy, you’re tough to please.

 

Koine & Marko: Jive, choreo by Dmitry Chaplin

“Rock Around The Clock” by Bill Haley & His Comets

Kate: What a perfect jive song.

Erica: Classic. The definitive.

Kate: She is just adorable, and they do great tricks together. I think her style of dancing makes it look very effortless, which I like, but in this particular one I think she should have gone for more “cutesy” than “come hither”.

Erica: She’s just so cute. So freakin’ cute. I did think she was mostly cutesy and less come-hither, but YMMV. Her hands were, as the kids might say, extra.

Kate: What is “YMMV”? HUDGY, don’t ever try to do the hot tamale train again. Ever.

Erica: Seriously. Mary Murphy has that trademarked.

Kate: She did NOT like it.

 

Group Routine (All-Stars): Jazz, choreo by Brian Friedman

“Derniere Danse” by Indila

Kate: See, I know the LIVE AUDIENCE is not seeing this in black and white with the pink accents, so why is the camera work showing us that?

Erica: I mean, I get that they’re going for the “look” but it comes across just fine once we lose the filter, so just staaaahhhp.

Kate: Still, this was pretty cool. And well danced. Had we seen that choreographer before? He has some good stuff.

Erica: Yes. He’s been on this show a lot, actually. (Like, check this baby out.) I think he was a big deal in the early seasons and now he kind of comes back occasionally as a favor or something. Anyway, I’m glad you liked this dance. I really liked it but I thought maybe I was just being too entranced by the outfits.

 

Taylor & Robert: Contemporary, choreo by Mandy Moore

“To Make You Feel My Love” by Mick McAuley & Winifred Horan

Kate: Ugh, when I heard “contemporary” next to these two’s names, I knew it’d be good. And with a version of this song? Yup. All of it good and nice. (I don’t remember hearing one note of it, but I walked down the aisle to an acoustic version of this song.)

Erica: Every part of her is just so long. Long legs, long arms, long torso. And every move goes all the way through each body part. Stunning.

Kate: Her legs were absolutely perfect in every single step and move here.

Erica: And she can act, too. I mean, it can’t be hard to act like you are deeply connected to Robert, but still. She feels what she’s doing. I feel what she’s doing. Damn.

Kate: Why is Nigel giving us a personal history lesson with each routine?

Erica: I’m telling you, I think it’s because he knows he’s about to be off of our TVs.

 

Mark & Comfort: Hip-Hop, choreo by Misha Gabriel

“No Twerk” by Apashe & Panther x Odalisk

Kate: This concept sounded really cool but it wasn’t what I thought it would be, and he did not seem sharp enough even though this is his own style???

Erica: I honestly (sigh) thought neither of them were sharp enough to pull off the idea here. I’m so sorry, Comfort. I love you. And I thought that the choreography was cool, but missed some opportunities.

Kate: Did Comfort lift him??? She’s awesome. Is this a new choreographer?

Erica: Yes. That was the coolest sequence. I think it might be.

Kate: Hold on, need to comment on one of the pre-solo background videos: They have mini-ballroom competitions for kids? And Lex danced ballroom as a little baby kid? Nothing is cuter.

Erica: Of course they have mini-ballroom competitions for kids. We like making kids act like mini-adults.

 

Lex, Logan & Kaylee: Contemporary, choreo by Dwight Rhoden & Desmond Richardson

“Strange” by LP

Kate: This was extremely visually pleasing — lighting, costumes, dancing, even camerawork, for once. Really loved it.

Erica: Yeah. I found it, somehow, emotionally satisfying. Like I just had some really delicious and healthy soup.

Kate: I hadn’t heard of these “legendary” choreographers they were all gushing about, but I really enjoyed this dance of theirs. Why was only one of them shown in the rehearsal footage?

Erica: I feel like I have heard of them but only from this show. Like, I feel like either they’ve come on before or been mentioned in some capacity. Maybe they are in some way connected to Debbie Allen? I hate how Nigel is damning Kaylee with faint praise. Kaylee is amazing and versatile and doesn’t need to “keep up” with these boys (who were also spectacular in this). But also f you, Nigel, just because she doesn’t make you happy in your pants place doesn’t mean she’s not an amazing dancer.

Kate: Ew.

 

Kiki, Koine, Mark & Taylor: Contemporary, choreo by Sean Cheesman

“Still I Rise (Maya Angelou)” by Alexis Henry

Kate: Dancing to a spoken poem rather than a song is a first for this show, I think, which must be tough to choreograph to, but it worked. Awesome tricks, leaps and lifts all around.

Erica: I started off feeling a little irritated by the performance art of it all, but man. They sold it. The choreography was good enough to get away with an irritatingly self-righteous concept, and they performed the hell out of it. They did a series of tricks to a poem and made it look like a dance.

Kate: It’s tough to pick a favorite between Taylor, Koine and Kaylee right now.

Erica: Seriously. Taylor is so elegant, but Koine has also had elegant moments and Kaylee has proven herself to be capable of taking on any persona. Koine is so adorable, but Taylor can shine and Kaylee can be anything, including cute. Kaylee is such an actress, but Taylor can also pour soul into her performance, and Koine in that ex-beauty-queen routine acted the hell out of it. They’re all SO GOOD. I love this show.

 

Results

Kate: Wait, how are the bottom 3 just in danger and not officially off if next week is the top 4/finale? I guess we are only kicking off 1 right now?

Erica: I don’t know. I understand nothing. I’ll just keep showing up until they name a winner, I guess.

Kate: Mark is going home and I am totally, more than fine with that.

Erica: Yes. Just fine. Okay, so, as of right now, I’m fine with any girl winning. I think Logan is my favorite guy but I’m not sold on him.

Kate: We’ll see if next week is really the finale, I guess!