Kate: Ok, NOW it’s the finale. I think.
Erica: Yes. Yes, this is definitely it.
Kate: And we’ll be doing everyone’s favorite dances throughout this less-than-thrilling season. Yippee.
Erica: I hate that there’s nothing new. Except group routines. I’m happy about new group routines.
Cat Deeley’s Ensemble
Kate: Love the tousled long waves, as usual, but the makeup feels too heavy and smoky for such soft beachy waves.
Erica: Well, but it was right for the dress, right?
Kate: Yes, the sparkly dress and tall black boots (which feel inappropriate given that it was 85 degrees today) required the smoky makeup, so…The hair was the wrong thing? Say it ain’t so!
Erica: Nah, let’s just say it was all good.
Kate: As for the rest of their ensembles, it looks like an evil daffodil threw up all over Hudgy, and I HATE red/orange eyeshadow like that. It makes you look ill, no matter what.
Erica: You know I tried to do pinkish eyeshadow a few times way back when I worked for Aveda and wore makeup often enough to get bored and try new things, and some makeup thing somewhere told me that pinkish reddish was good for people with blue eyes. It was not.
Kate: It still is not. And I don’t hate what Mary Murphy is wearing, I just hate her hair with it. It’s too flat on top/slicked back away from her face.
Erica: Makes her forehead look too big.
Kate: We’re so mean.
Group Routine (All): Jazz, choreo by Mandy Moore
“Dancing On The Ceiling” by Nick Wells
Kate: This felt VERY High School Musical to me. Like, intentionally so.
Erica: Yes. Good description. It was kind of adorkable. But I would say it was feel-good without requiring or showing off that much skill. Like, I could do half those moves. Not with only one week of practice, and I wouldn’t look as good in booty shorts and a crop top, but it didn’t look significantly more challenging to me than a Just Dance routine.
Kate: I had the same problem with the sharpness that we’ve been having all season, except for Koine. She looked perfect and should absolutely win.
Erica: Yeah, she sort of embodies this number in that it’s exactly suited to her cuteness. But also she’s capable of more than this choreography gave her. I did like the newsprint clothes, though. Which should tell you exactly how much of a dork I am.
Group Routine (Academy): Every Dance Genre Ever, choreo by Mandy Moore
“Brand New” by Atwater Men’s Club feat. Luke Wade
Kate: Well, this is a first.
Erica: You mean, the whole pre-filmed-ness of it?
Kate: Yea. But of course it was cool, it was every style ever with 100(?) dancers, AND they had time to edit it and do cool camera work that we get so mad about during the live telecasts.
Erica: If anything it really illustrated how much luck goes into who gets on the show and who doesn’t. Because if some of these people are the people who didn’t make it, then damn. They’re pretty good. (Koine and Taylor still stood out in their group, though.) But I am confused. This was seen before, right? When they started the academy episodes? I didn’t watch the academy episodes. I probably should have. Because if it wasn’t shown then, this doesn’t make any sense.
Kate: This song was played a lot, but not this entire routine with everyone in it.
Koine & Kiki: Salsa, choreo by Val Chmerkovskiy
“Dança Molengo” by Bonde do Rolê feat. Rizzle Kicks
Kate: Interesting choice by Mary, but glad I got to see Koine in this again. Even Kiki was more tolerable in it this time.
Erica: She is just the embodiment of joy. You’re right, he seemed a little more dynamic this time around. Maybe now that the pressure is off, he can let loose.
Group Routine (All): Disco, choreo by Mandy Moore & Val Chmerkovskiy
“You Should Be Dancing” by The Bee Gees
Kate: Figures this would be Hudgy’s choice, of all routines.
Erica: Well, when this routine originally aired, I said it was the routine that would have been in a turn-of-the-millennium remake of Saturday Night Fever, had one existed. And, had one existed, Vanessa Hudgens would have aspired to be in it. So that makes sense.
Kate: I enjoyed it then and I enjoyed it now, I just think she could have chosen a more interesting or difficult routine.
Taylor & Lex: Broadway, choreo by Spencer Liff
“An American In Paris” by James Levine & Chicago Symphony Orchestra
Kate: For some reason their romance is bothering me. I don’t know if it’s them talking about it too much, or if I suspect it’s fake/just for the show, or what, but it’s just not doing it for me.
Erica: It’s cooked up. Right? It’s got to be.
Kate: This was quite adorable, again, though.
Erica: Yeah, it was nice, but I also wonder if Nigel chose it in part because it evokes one of the most memorable routines of the show’s run, the Hok-Jaimie bird routine.
Group Routine (All-Stars + Top 9): Hip-Hop, choreo by Luther Brown
“Ya Ya” by Jonte
Kate: I now agree with you that I don’t like the hip-hop routine being done in tribal costumes.
Erica: Given that I largely know things about dance because of this show, it makes me think that the distinctions between genres of dancing are largely superficial.
Kate: The dancing was pretty much fine, though.
Erica: Yeah, they did well.
Dassy & Fik-Shun: Hip-Hop, choreo by Popin’ Pete
“Shake Your Pants” by Cameo
Kate: Didn’t like it then, don’t like it now.
Erica: Kinda liked it then. Still think it’s fine. I have to say, Fik-Shun has never been my guy. His face is more mobile than the rest of his body and it’s sort of exhausting.
Group Routine (All-Stars + Top 8): Jazz, choreo by Mark Kanemura
“Call Me Mother” by RuPaul
Kate: I guess I didn’t like this much the first time around, but this time I did! Despite an obnoxious song, the moves and the costumes and the hair and makeup created quite the dramatic production that I really appreciated and enjoyed.
Erica: Nigel was really pimping how amazing the show is when he was introducing this routine. “Millions watched it online! The lighting guy is amazing!” I liked this routine, though. It’s so weird and silly. It’s like the word “frivolous” in dance form.
Koine & Lex: Broadway, choreo by Al Blackstone
“L-O-V-E” by Nat King Cole
Kate: See, this is weird. We JUST saw this for the first time last week. This season has not been long enough/there haven’t been enough DANCES for us to be picking all of our favorites, FOX!
Erica: I mean, there’s sort of no way to avoid this. If your favorite dance was last week, then that was your favorite. And this, I can’t complain about this being reprised. Nothing else was really something I was looking forward to seeing again. But this? I love this.
Kate: But, again, Koine was adorable as ever.
Erica: I really love the way she gets off the couch in the beginning. Like, she’s even cute when she’s being purposefully not cute. This is maybe the only routine from the season that I will think about when this season is over.
Group Routine (All): Contemporary, choreo by Mia Michaels
“Hyper-Ballad (Paky Di Maio Remix)” by Paola Canestrelli
Kate: Now here’s the Mia Michaels we know and love, er, are most of the time weirded out by. It was supposed to be a meeting of addicts, yes?
Erica: I think so. Or boxers.
Kate: Well, powerful message/sob story aside, it was danced beautifully and sharply and with great transitions and drama and tricks and leaps and kicks. Finally, a little of the old SYTYCD!
Erica: Yeah, this was beautifully choreographed and very well danced. Interesting and weird and pretty intense. A bit of a weird note to strike in the finale, but I’ll take it. If this isn’t the last season, they should do whatever it takes to get Mia Michaels to be around more.
Kate: AND A BASKET TOSS AT THE END! YAY, CHEERLEADING!
Robert & Jasmine: Hip-Hop, choreo by Chris Scott
“Perm” by Bruno Mars
Kate: Oh, Robert. Forgot you existed.
Erica: I didn’t because I was never not missing Jasmine.
Kate: This was a fun routine then and now, but the constant hairspray spraying really grossed me out. (Although I’m assuming the cans weren’t filled with real hairspray.)
Erica: Hah. But it was super cute.
Lex & Travis Wall: Contemporary, choreo by Travis Wall
“TEAR, Part 1” by Son Lux
Kate: Did we seriously expect me to watch anyone or anything besides Travis in this routine?
Erica: No. Very exciting to see him dancing again. So is Son Lux a person who is a big deal other than on this show? Because there have been like 82 Son Lux songs this season.
Kate: I have only ever heard his/her/their songs on this show. Super-cool routine. It felt very Peaky Blinders, but probably just because of the costumes.
Erica: Holy mikeys, that was intense. Very, very, very good choreography. Well danced. See, that routine should let Nigel know that, to the extent that this show is getting stale (it is — I’m sorry, I love it, but it is), it’s because he will not back away from a boy-girl-pair format. I’m not saying that there should be no boy-girl pair dancing, but play with the format, for God’s sake! More group dances! More same-sex pairings! More trios and quads and whatever! There’s nothing about the show that requires nearly every dance to be two dancers, one boy and one girl. Mix it up!
Koine & Marko: Contemporary, choreo by Mandy Korpinen & Elizabeth Petrin
“You’re The Last Thing On My Mind” by Aron Wright
Kate: Still love these 2 together, still love her, still love this routine.
Erica: Oh, no, not this routine! It makes me so nervous! Seriously, though, I thought that there were some great moves but that this as an overall piece was a bit lacking. This time around, I felt the transitions were a little more fluid, but I still think this was almost a great routine.
Lex & Gaby: Hip-Hop, choreo by Luther Brown
“Humble” by Kendrick Lamar
Kate: I liked this A LOT better than last time. He was still a tiny bit too stiff in his back in some areas, though.
Erica: He may have danced it better but to me this was still not a particularly memorable routine.
Kiki & Jenna: Cha-Cha, choreo by Dmitry Chaplain
“There’s Nothing Holdin’ Me Back” by Shawn Mendes
Kate: Still love this song, still want to do a dance (like this) to it, still hate her a lot.
Erica: She really works my last nerve. It’s at least 85% unfair of me but it’s there and I can’t seem to stop it. Hot outfit, though.
Taylor & Robert: Contemporary, choreo by Mandy Moore
“To Make You Feel My Love” by Mick McAuley & Winifred Horan
Kate: I mean, DUH! Her legs are so twirly.
Erica: This was quite beautiful and she was quite beautiful in it (as was he). I also really like this version of this song.
Kate: I prefer Koine, but I would not be mad if she won at all. (And I prefer the Adele version of this song.)
Erica: Yeah, either one of them would be fine with me. Taylor was my first favorite but Koine stole my heart. But they are both blessings to dance and deserve America’s love.
Kate: Oh MAN, no one picked last week’s Mi Gente group hip-hop routine as their favorite?! 😦
Erica: Oh, yeah, that was a good one. I complained at the time but it was still fun.
Kate: I feel less “Oh MAN” about Kiki being in 4th place, though.
Erica: Yeah, that’s fine.
Kate: Oh my god, Hudgy is performing. She sucks. She’s not even DANCING. NOR IS SHE A GOOD SINGER. DAMMIT HUDGY!
Erica: God, she’s so annoying. It’s too bad because I think I’d like this song if it were sung by someone else.
Kate: Oh, there she goes, with the dancing, with ROBERT!? Not fair. Does not deserve him. She barely did anything, he did everything, obviously.
Erica: I mean, if I were allowed to pick anyone, I’d pick him. But yes. If I ever have jillions of dollars I will buy you a dance with Robert.
Kate: Ian often watches this show and repeatedly complains that he and I could do these dances no problem. For this one, he is absolutely right.
Erica: Video or it didn’t happen. (No, but you probably could.)
Kate: And Nigel’s face while everyone is clapping (and he is not) plus Mary Murphy’s forced smile SAY IT ALL. They don’t like you either, Hudgy!
Erica: He’s trying so hard to keep it together. Poor Nigel. Hoisted very much on your own petard.
Kiki, Koine, Mark & Taylor: Contemporary, choreo by Sean Cheesman
“Still I Rise (Maya Angelou)” by Alexis Henry
Kate: Oh, I thought we were done with routines, but we had to squeeze in one more because of Trump and hurricanes and #TaketheKnee and every ISSUE the world is currently facing.
Erica: This show is going to save us all. Nigel told me so. I like this routine, though. It’s interesting, even if they flubbed it a bit. (Again, Nigel, the show is better when you break format a bit.)
Kate: It was pretty funny when Cat chased them off stage. Lots of weird live show errors this season…
Erica: Mark didn’t want to leave. I liked Cat comparing them to “boxes of frogs”. I don’t know if that’s an Australianism or just a Cat-ism, but I like it.
Kate: TAYLOR is in 3rd place?! LEX COULD POTENTIALLY WIN THIS SH!T? America, we are in worse shape than I thought. And I thought we were in the absolute worst shape possible.
Erica: I do not believe that they accurately report results. A boy went so now a girl does because Nigel is so very dedicated to boy-girl evenness.
Kate: Oh my god, screw this. I give up. I’m done with this show, and I blame Trump.
Erica: MFer. It’s Lex. It’s because he’s a boy. We probably can’t exactly blame Trump, but they are symptoms of the same disease. Which is misogyny, in case you don’t realize it. Koine is a queen and she deserved it and Lex is dumping Taylor with no scruples right now.