SAGS 2019

Kate: Update: I have still not seen anything nominated this year. Except Black Panther.

Erica: I have yet to see movies from last year’s awards season. And the year before that…

Kate: Oh, same. I even *almost* didn’t want to watch this. Almost.

Erica: I almost didn’t. We got a puppy Saturday. She’s currently attired in a Grandma Lisa-purchased bandana which very attractively sets off her beautiful red-gold fur. If you’re curious.

 

Alison Brie

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Kate: Do I even need to comment? I mean, seriously.

Erica: Okay, hear me out. She is an extremely pretty girl. And she’s pretty in a way that could be very bland. So she’s choosing very fashion-forward looks and I actually think they’re executed really well. Sure, a giant black bow studded in rhinestones that’s big enough that she could probably get some height with a good breeze doesn’t sound like a great idea, but I think it works here. I think the overall look works here.

Kate: I wholeheartedly disagree and think it doesn’t do her justice at all.

 

Amy Adams

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Kate: Oh! Interesting.

Erica: I’m not a fan.

Kate: I’ve never really loved a peplum, as you know, but this is more daring than her usual so I like it. It might be even more interesting in a different color, though.

Erica: I feel like you are maybe succumbing to the general aura of loveliness that surrounds Amy Adams. This is not a good dress.

Kate: Oh. Great hair, makeup and jewelry.

 

Angela Bassett

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Kate: Ok this 1000% looks like one of those tiny shirts that expand to regular size shirts out of that weird material that we always see at arts and crafts shows/festivals!

Erica: YES! It does. Oh my god so weird.

Kate: It’s really awful.

Erica: I like the very ‘70s hair and the fabulous makeup and she’s, like, ageless, but the dress. The dress. What even happened there?

Kate: Maybe Mom styled her?

 

Catherine Zeta-Jones

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Kate: Oh, her face has gotten scarier since the Globes. Oh dear. The dress is very middle-aged beauty pageant, not in the best way, and the hair is too severe for the dress. And the face. Yikes!

Erica: I like the color? But, yeah, this is not great.

 

Constance Wu

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Kate: Absolutely adorable and perfect. Love it.

Erica: She could not look better. I love the thing on her hip and the armband. But I wish…Sigh…I do wish it were, like, three inches longer.

Kate: Eh, yeah, the length/cut of the skirt may be a little off, but I don’t know, I really like it!

 

Elisabeth Moss

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Kate: Elisabeth Moss clearly reads our posts and realized the error of her ways in dress length at award shows.

Erica: This is so much better than she usually does so I’m sorry to criticize. To start, this is the first time I thought her blonde hair looked good, and I think the makeup is nice, and I like the color.

Kate: But just because it’s the appropriate length doesn’t mean I love it. It is very bridal and I don’t love the black belt in the middle of an ivory gown, but the silhouette is very flattering for her.

Erica: Oh, the color is reading more buttery-yellow to me. I think the black belt is sitting in the wrong spot, or the end of the bodice is. And the fabric is a little cheap-looking.

Kate: Maybe off-white, then? Is that not the same thing as ivory? And agree x2.

 

Emily Blunt

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Kate: Ok so it’s very Judy Jetson and maybe even a little Rihanna (don’t ask me why, that’s just the vibe I get), and also Futuristic Barbie, all of which should mean I don’t like it, but I really do. She pulls off that color perfectly, and I love everything about the hair, makeup and jewelry with it. (Note: The color looked a lot brighter/nicer on the telecast; in this photo it is a little muted.)

Erica: I felt that the hair needed to be something else with those shoulders but I am willing to be talked out of this feeling.

Kate: Ok yes don’t think that. The dress is Couture and High Fashion and Interesting in all the right ways. Best Dressed nominee!

Erica: I feel like she is very Couture. Increasingly so. I don’t know if she’s got a new stylist, or just a new attitude as she becomes A-list, but it’s working for her.

 

Emma Stone

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Kate: This is way too business-meeting-into-client-dinner for me.

Erica: I don’t like it. I don’t like anything about it.

Kate: The pants should be tailored to show the shoes! I bet they’re fab!

Erica: I guess that would be one, very small, step in the right direction.

Kate: LOL, step! Punny!

 

Keri Russell

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Kate: Oh, she has redeemed herself from the Globes in terms of hair. And dress. I kind of love this.

Erica: The hair is gorgeous. The dress, I didn’t think was all that special, but up closer, I quite like the bodice.

 

Lady Gaga

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Kate: It’s very Madonna “Like A Virgin” (which I’m sure she loves/was kind of going for) but not very well-executed. And I HATE that dark lip, especially with that bright white.

Erica: I actually like the makeup, for her. If you’re not Lady Gaga, and you’re not dedicated to the art of the Costume, it would look stupid, but I feel it works for her.

Kate: If the gown and lip were both in another color and I think I’d like it pretty much a lot.

Erica: I quite like the gown. I think it’s dreamy.

 

Laverne Cox

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Kate: Ooh, very Greek goddess. Love.

Erica: 100% perfection in all ways. I particularly love the hair and the gold thing going across the chest.

Kate: I would like to borrow it, please, Laverne!

Erica: For real. It’s so good.

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Lupita Nyong’O

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Kate: This is the first time I haven’t really liked something from her on the red carpet. She looks…Drab? And also upset and tired?

Erica: I don’t like the hair. I’m sorry if that means I’m racist.

Kate: I really don’t get the whole look.

Erica: I don’t love seeing her in black, because she wears color so well and I love color, but I do kind of like the top of the dress. I just don’t understand the bottom or the why of any of it.

Kate: No, the top looks like an unfinished tuxedo jacket; the bottom could be interesting with a different top/bodice.

 

Mandy Moore

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Kate: I feel like she’s better than this. The structure reminds me A LOT of Jessica McClintock prom dresses.

Erica: Maybe from your prom years. But also I do not like it because it’s kind of boring. I don’t like the hair, either. Makeup is good.

Kate: Yeah, she’s one of those people who should wear their hair down as much as possible because she has (seemingly) naturally pretty soft waves, like Connie Britton.

 

Margot Robbie

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Kate: Wow.

Erica: She is a stunning woman.

Kate: How is she so hot? Just…How?

Erica: It’s just her DNA. She’s an actual flame in human form.

Kate: Hair, makeup, dress, everything perfection. Best Dressed nominee!

Erica: I don’t know, man. I feel like God made her the hottie she is and the dress she’s wearing is, like, fine, but not really special.

Kate: Oh I like it a lot, but it’s very Kate.

 

Megan Mullally

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Kate: I don’t mind this red carpet dress but I like her first hosting dress a whole lot better. (I also had no idea she was hosting, or that the SAGs even had a host?)

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Erica: I do not like either dress, although I like the hosting one better. But she’s fairly fabulous and I’m happy to see her hosting. I like her hair and makeup.

Kate: Agree.

Erica: Oh, and then there’s a third dress. Eh, I think the first hosting dress is better.

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Melissa McCarthy

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Kate: Ok, so I love this. It’s finally the right departure from what she usually wears!

Erica: Yeah? I like it but I don’t love it. I think I want the sleeves to be pulled in a little bit.

Kate: It’s just so much better than the usual black or dark purple/blue drapey thing.

Erica: I do love the makeup and hair.

 

Patricia Clarkson

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Kate: I feel like this is the perfect combination of a Greek goddess costume and a mother-of-the-bride wedding dress. I love it, for some reason.

Erica: I am more in mind of a figure skater’s costume that one made over to be an awards show dress. Which I do not necessarily mean as a bad thing.

 

Rachel Brosnahan

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Kate: I loved her Globes look so much, and I want to love this too, but I can’t get into the color of the dress or the weird bodice with all the seams — they all just hit her torso in weird places

Erica: I think it’s very close to being a good dress. I think the color would be good if it had a bit more sheen and the banding would be better if it were more subtle and didn’t have bows. And the length is too short. But it’s almost there and she’s so lovely.

Kate: I do like the hair, makeup and earrings, though.

Erica: Yes on the first two, not thrilled with the earrings.

 

Rachel Weisz

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Kate: Absolutely hate it. It’s two or three dresses in one and I don’t like either/any of them.

Erica: Whereas for me, this is a concept I wouldn’t mind if it weren’t executed so dreadfully. I could see really loving the drawing of this dress, with the heavier, more structured dress opening to reveal a flowing skirt. And a belt for structure would be fine in this context. But the heavy velvet, the strange metal belt, and the uninspiring color of the underskirt do not combine into an inspiring dress.

 

Robin Wright

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Kate: Wow. Her body is insane. (Her hair and face are kind of scary, though.)

Erica: Yeah. She’s definitely keeping up with her kickboxing or whatever the hell keeps her looking like that.

Kate: And the dress is just OK but definitely enhanced by her insane body.

Erica: I think the dress is a little…meant to show off that body without much sophistication? I don’t mean to pull a “you’re too old for that” but I feel like she’s too good for that? Like, she’s not some twenty-two-year old cocktail waitress hanging off the arm of her her way older, thrice-divorced, coked-up producer boyfriend. She’s a great actress who’s been in critically acclaimed and beloved movies. She could do better.

 

Samira Wiley

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Kate: I’m not totally sure why she’s here this year but I very much enjoy this dress.

Erica: She’s in The Handmaid’s Tale. And yes, this is fabulous and delightful.

 

Sandra Oh

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Kate: Ok I’m trying really hard to see and understand and critique the dress, but I’m too distracted by those bangs. The dress looks like it might be kind of lovely, especially the color, but the bangs are taking up all my attention.

Erica: The bangs are very terrible.

Kate: Short, curly, bangs. I can’t.

Erica: The dress is stunning, IMHO, which is why those bangs — which I definitely rocked in 1995 when I could not get the hang of a hair dryer and a round brush, and then decided to grow out my bangs because they were so terrible — are such a shame.

 

Sophia Bush

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Kate: I used to think she was one of the most beautiful people. Why is everyone dressed up like Gothic Fairy Barbie tonight!?

Erica: She’s still very lovely but that dress is not as fabulous as she deserves.

Kate: Hate it. Worst Dressed nominee, along with Alison Brie.

Erica: My nominee for best dressed is Laverne Cox. Thoughts?

Kate: Oh I could go for that.

Erica: I feel like there are a lot of contenders for worst. Emma Stone? Angela Bassett? Rachel Weisz?

Kate: Alison Brie!

Erica: No! I will defend Alison Brie! I am picking Rachel Weisz, because in addition to the bad dress, her hair and makeup were a little sloppy.

Kate: Fine fine fine. See you after the Grammys, folks!

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Golden Globes 2019

Kate: I am only going to know the TV show aspect of this year’s Golden Globes; I really do not see any non-comic book movies anymore.

Erica: It’s okay; TV is the new movies.

Kate: True. But that doesn’t mean I can’t judge everyone on the red carpet from the comfort of my own couch (and sweatpants)!

Erica: I am accompanied by a special assistant tonight, by the way. Will keep you posted if she has any opinions.

Zoe: I am just judging style.

Kate: And away we go!

 

Alison Brie

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Kate: Ok, so it’s definitely Different. I’ll give her that. I do not think I like the sequined-bra-as-part-of-the-dress thing, though. I know it’s the dress and not actually her bra, I just don’t think I like it. Maybe if the sequined bra were extended throughout the entire bodice with the sheer overlay?

Erica: I actually do think I like it. I feel like she is a person who goes for “looks” over “dresses”, and I appreciate that about her as a person, and I enjoy this as a look. It’s a little bit like a snarky twist on classic glam, but well executed.

Kate: Ok, but I don’t think it needs the black ribbon thing in the back.

Erica: Oh, I like it.

Zoe: I like the dress design, but the ribbon is unnecessary and the waist is unnaturally bunchy. Go back and look at it. Once you see you can’t unsee. But…LOVE THE HAIR.

Kate: Agree, Zo!

 

Amber Heard

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Kate: Oh I thought she was so pretty in Aquaman but this is a big ol’ mess.

Erica: I thought I knew what she looked like but apparently I was wrong? (I have not seen Aquaman.)

Kate: Her hair is insane, her makeup doesn’t do her face justice, and the gown just does not fit her, or possibly anyone. Meh!

Erica: I think I understand what her hair was supposed to be doing, but it looks super-messy, and the skirt of the dress — I mean, beyond my black-and-white formalwear thing, it’s super-wrinkly and messy looking.

 

Amy Adams

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Kate: I feel like she is always nominated for something that I have absolutely no intention of seeing/watching.

Erica: She’s definitely become this sort of critical darling, you know? I guess she didn’t want the America’s sweetheart career she could have had.

Kate: This is a very nice color on her, one we don’t see too often on the red carpet/in formal wear, right? I like it on her but am worried the overall look is just a bit too casual.

Erica: Yeah, it’s an unusual color, and I like it. (It’s not coming across well in photos; it looked like it had more green in it on the telecast.) But the fabric is a little too blah and the overall dress isn’t special or interesting. Her hair, as always, is pure perfection.

Zoe: Pretty hair! I despise that color, though. Especially on her. I hate the style as well. So I despise the entire dress.

Kate: Yikes.

 

Anne Hathaway

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Kate: Oh, I didn’t expect to see her here! Have we not seen her in awhile?

Erica: She was in Ocean’s 8. We just watched it. It was pretty much fun. I don’t know if that’s why she’s here. Jason loves her.

Kate: I don’t love the animal print on her or on the red carpet but she looks great.

Erica: I don’t love animal print, period the end.

Zoe: Oh, that’s Princess Mia! I want to burn the top, but the rest looks good.

Kate: Zoe you are HARSH and I love it.

 

Catherine Zeta-Jones

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Kate: The geometry of her face is bothering me, but my goodness she is still very gorgeous.

Erica: So I’ve seen her face on posters advertising a movie or series that may or may not be on a Facebook streaming service? Is that a thing?

Kate: I have no idea, comic book movies only. That shade of green is lovely on her, but dresses with crazy one-shouldered structures like that are not my favorite.

Erica: I feel she’s pulling it off. As she is pulling off a face that eerily resembles the one she had 20 years ago.

 

Charlize Theron

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Kate: Oh wow. Super-gorgeous.

Erica: I mean, she is. Always.

Kate: There’s nothing too new or interesting about this dress or overall look, but it is absolutely perfect on her and extremely elegant.

Erica: I don’t love it. Black and white. Weird bow. But, jeez, she’s so beautiful.

Zoe: Love the dress, the hair’s okay, but she is one of the best moms out in Hollywood.

Kate: Ha, what?!

 

Claire Foy

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Kate: Ok so I still love her a lot, and I love her makeup and jewelry here, but I do not like the dress. Looks like a very fancy nightgown.

Erica: It’s a similar color to Rachel Brosnahan’s (see below), but she’s not pulling it off quite as beautifully, despite the similar coloring. I think her makeup might be arguing with the dress color. Plus it’s not fitted enough in the shoulders or boobs; I think that’s what’s giving it the more nightgown look. Which, I like the fancy nightgown look, but it has to be executed perfectly.

Zoe: She just failed to copy Rachel. That’s it.

Kate: Agree on the very dark makeup arguing with the very light dress color.

 

Connie Britton

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Kate: YAS!

Erica: The hair! The hair is perfect as the hair should have always been and should always be!

Kate: She always looks nuts at award shows/never plays up her true natural beauty, right? And finally she looks like this! Yayyyy!!

Erica: I love the color on her.

Zoe: The hair is gorgeous and I love the light blue quilted dress.

Erica: Have you watched Dirty John? I don’t know if I should. I did enjoy how they made it a thing with Vicki Gunvalson of RHOC, like, “Hey, doesn’t this remind you of your life, and how you stupidly went out with that evil guy forever?”

Kate: I thought that was a bit of a reach, TBH. I have not watched but am thrilled she was nominated because, hair!

 

Constance Wu

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(The following is an exact transcript of the reactions Zoe and Erica had to seeing Constance Wu on the red carpet.)

Erica: Oh, yes, Constance Wu.

Zoe: Oh, no, Constance Wu.

Kate: No I have not seen or read Crazy Rich Asians yet; I will, am just busy watching comic book movies and reading 12-year-old reading-level books.

Erica: You’re going to love Crazy Rich Asians, the book and the movie. I know I’ve said this to you before, but it’s basically Real Housewives of Singapore, if Real Housewives had plots.

Kate: Without the bright orange bow this would be a very very naked dress, so I think it needs it, but I don’t think I like the overall thing. I appreciate its uniqueness, though.

Erica: I love it. I love the nakedness and the orange bow and her gorgeous glowing skin and everything about it.

Kate: I mean, I don’t hate it.

 

Debra Messing

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Kate: It’s just too much of everything. Too much sparkle, too much fringe, too much dress, too much bad makeup. Isn’t she, like, pretty and smart and talented? Why does she always get award shows wrong?

Erica: She’s a Brandeis alum. They don’t really teach us about proper red carpet fashion there.

 

Elisabeth Moss

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Kate: Oh but it’s so short! Doesn’t she always have problems with dress length at these things?

Erica: Always! I like this better than I like it when she goes tea length but why is this happening? And why is her hair in a weird ponytail?

Kate: I mean, I think I like it other than that? Even the hair and makeup and jewelry?

Erica: I would like it if it were a gown. (It looked more navy in the telecast, which I liked.) Or if we were not at the Golden Globes. But it’s not working for me as is.

Zoe: She is under arrest for breaking the rules of Golden Globes fashion by wearing a miniskirt! What does she think she’s doing?!

Kate: Sing it sister! Um, niece!

 

Emily Blunt

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Kate: Uuuuugh I do NOT like this hair! At all! It’s so…Dated!

Erica: Aw, man, I do like this hair. I guess I am dated.

Kate: The dress is quite something, though. I can’t help but feel uncomfortable and itchy just looking at it, but it is impressive.

Erica: She’s definitely coming into her A-List status.

Zoe: I just love it!

 

Emma Stone

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Kate: Oh I don’t know, I just feel like we have seen her in this before, no? I’m bored.

Erica: What was that one stunningly gorgeous dress she wore? With the stars? She really can’t top that.

Kate: The Golden Globes 2017 one?

Erica: Yeah, that’s the one. This is sort of frumpy. Her makeup is lovely, though. You know, she shouted out an apology for playing a non-white person in the movie Aloha, and I have to say, directing ire at actors for taking roles they’re offered, especially actors who are not already, say, Brad Pitt or Julia Roberts (and yeah, I think you do need that level of success to feel secure as an actor in Hollywood), rather than directing ire at the casting directors, directors, producers, and studio, is misplaced.

 

Gina Rodriguez

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Kate: Oh I think I like this.

Erica: It is a lot like what she usually wears. I like it.

Kate: I don’t totally love the neckline or the cutouts, but the rest of it is very lovely. Would have gone with a low loose bun or pony here instead of all down and wavy — show off those dresses and those jewels, ladies!

Erica: Have you seen Jane the Virgin, Kate? It is delicious.

Kate: If it’s not based on a comic book, then nope.

 

Halle Berry

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Kate: The long low pony is giving me lots of J.Lo vibez, in a good way.

Erica: Oh, I thought you’d feel like it was too low-maintenance.

Kate: No I like. I’m not sure how I feel about the dress. I go back and forth, possibly because I don’t think it should be in that color, but her body is so goddamn incredible I hardly notice the dress.

Erica: I mean, she’s one of those people who, you know, the dress should be honored to be on her. I like the dress, though. I think it does a good job of showcasing her.

 

Isla Fisher

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Kate: How. Did. She. Get. That. Hair.

Erica: She and Amy Adams go to the same hairdresser.

Kate: No, hers is way better. It’s just always so perfect!

Erica: It is, it is. It is what I wish my hair looked like.

Kate: I could take or leave the dress.

Erica: I think it’s nice enough but not anything to rave about.

 

Janelle Monae

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Erica: She is to me the epitome of crazy done right and tonight is no exception.

Kate: I think she has fantastic makeup all of the time, but I do not understand this Look.

Zoe: Um…

 

Jessica Chastain

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Kate: Oh I am very into the high pony on her. Very into it.

Erica: I like the hair, yes.

Kate: But the dress is way, way too old for her and has too many things happening on it. Do not like.

Erica: Yeah, that is three dresses on one body and it’s too much. Any one of those dresses, or maybe even a combo of two of them, would be okay, but altogether it’s overwhelming.

 

Julia Roberts

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Kate: Oh, my god. Everyone bow down. Actually, everyone go home. There is no point to anything anymore after this effing PERFECTION. PERFECTION! JULIA!

Erica: For real?

Kate: BEST DRESSED!

Erica: I…Think you might be biased? Or you are seeing something I am not? I mean, she looks great. But I do not love the ensemble at all.

Kate: Blasphemy!

 

Julianne Moore

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Kate: Hair, makeup and jewels = beautiful, nailed it, 0 critique from me. Dress, on the other hand…

Erica: Yes. She is eternally gorgeous.

Kate: It looks unfinished, no? Like they left too much material on the not-sure-if-it’s-a-peplum-or-not thing? If they’d just stopped at the waist and continued into that same skirt it’d be perfect.

Erica: I think it’s just a bad dress. Nothing about its concept or execution really works.

 

Kaley Cuoco

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Kate: I honestly don’t have any positive feelings toward her as a person/I never understand why she is always at these things without ever having really accomplished anything, but I have to admit I really like this whole look here. Hair, makeup, dress — material, colors, silhouette, pockets…All. Of. It. Want it for myself.

Zoe: I adore the whole look. Perfect score!

Kate: Thank you Zo!

Erica: It is amazing that being on a mediocre but long-running sitcom gets you an invite every year. I am on the record as not loving black-and-white formal wear. This isn’t an exception to that for me.

 

Kate Mara

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Kate: Absolutely hate everything about her hair.

Erica: Yes.

Kate: The dress could be ok — the right elements are there, especially the color(s) — but it’s just not doing it for me.

Erica: No. She dresses like she’s rebelling against Hollywood, which, for f’s sake, Kate, if you don’t want to be in Hollywood, don’t be. Isla Fisher will be happy to take your jobs for you.

 

Keri Russell

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Kate: I think she is still just so gorgeous.

Erica: I wish she’d wear her hair curly, like on Felicity. It’s pretty like that.

Kate: I do like the sparkle but the heavy material, especially around the shoulders, kind of drowns her petite little frame. So I don’t like that.

Erica: I absolutely agree. If the fabric were lighter, I’d really like this.

Zoe: It feels baggy, not really thought out. But I do love the sparkles! She’s wearing a sparkly sack.

Kate: Sparkly sack indeed. I also don’t like whatever is going on with her hair — there’s no part and it’s kind of slicked back but kind of not?

 

Kristen Bell

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Kate: Ugh she looks so good in pink, and also in everything.

Erica: YOU GUYS YOU GUYS YOU GUYS HULU IS REVIVING VERONICA MARS I MIGHT HAVE A HEART ATTACK BEFORE I GET TO SEE IT SO JUST COME TO MY GRAVESTONE WITH AN IPAD AND SHOW IT TO ME OKAY? Thanks.

Kate: I still have not seen the movie! Feel like I sound like a broken record here but once again I would have done something different with the hair. She’s so pretty.

Erica: She’s so pretty. The dress is so pretty on her. And she is so pretty. She could have been more sculpted in her hair.

Zoe: I just love it and think it’s the best it could be.

Kate: Hooray for Kristen Bell!

 

Lady Gaga

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Kate: Why have I still not seen A Star Is Born? The previews almost made me cry so maybe I’m just not emotionally ready?

Erica: I can’t see that movie. Did you know the dog is really Brad Cooper’s dog?

Kate: Crap maybe I really can’t see it. I appreciate that this is a Very Lady Gaga Look and what we can expect from someone such as herself, but that doesn’t mean I like it. I hate that periwinkle color — on the dress and in her hair — but I do like the necklace quite a bit. Am now having mixed feelings about this Look.

Zoe: I hate it. I mean, you can go nuts and look not hideous. I love the color and the necklace, but I hate it.

Erica: I like the color on the dress but not the hair. It’s making her hair look like it’s thinning, and it’s aging her. I actually think the dress is not bad — on the general scale of her nuttiness — but I think for a master class in how to go nuts and look beautiful, one should look to Janelle Monae.

Zoe: This dress makes me want to Gag-a. (Bleh!)

Kate: Oh, good pun.

 

Lucy Liu

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Kate: I think someone very statuesque like Cate Blanchett or Nicole Kidman could pull this off perfectly; on little Lucy Liu it’s kind of swallowing her. Maybe the dress by itself without the sheer overlay thing would have been better?

Erica: I don’t like anything about it. I mean, except the woman wearing it, of course. I feel like the sheer overlay is trying to distract us from the ugliness of the Matisse-like sequin situation. Also, is that a sliver of midriff? I do not approve. (Of midriffs at formal events in general. Not of her particular midriff.)

Kate: I also do not like the lighter hair color on her.

Zoe: I absolutely despise her dress with every fiber in my being. And the overlay. I would prefer them burned so no one will have to wear that monstrosity of an outfit. But I love the hair and makeup. They look awesome!

 

Lupita Nyong’O

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Kate: I think the dress is stunning but her hair is throwing me off. The earrings are sort of helping.

Erica: She’s just so pretty. So, so, so pretty. Like, that face. It’s just an unbelievably pretty face. I don’t know how I feel about her dress. It’s fine, I think. The hair is confusing to me, probably because I am not nearly woke enough. But I just want to stare at her beautiful face.

Zoe: I like the dress but I hate her hair.

 

Melissa McCarthy

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Kate: The stars feel a bit tacky to me but without them it would be way too much purple, probably. The whole thing is very Professor McGonagall.

Erica: Oh, that’s another movie I really want to see and probably never will. I think I would like the stars if this were a different event.

Zoe: Ew. Just ew.

 

Michelle Yeoh

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Erica: This is the mom from Crazy Rich Asians. The color is so fabulous and I didn’t realize the ring from the movie was her own ring! Cool!

Kate: It is a beautiful ring, but this color does not look as nice on her as it does on CZJ and the fabric/pattern at the bottom is a little too under-the-sea for me.

 

Nicole Kidman

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Kate: Nope. Looks like a red rubber suit. Like a darker version of what Britney Spears wore in the Oops! I Did It Again music video.

Erica: It’s not my thing. It would never be my thing. I suppose it’s a well-executed version of the thing it is.

Kate: Hate the black ribbon in the hair too.

 

Octavia Spencer

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Kate: Adorable.

Erica: Yeah. She has a specific silhouette, but it works on her. I even am okay that it’s not a full-length gown.

 

Penelope Cruz

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Kate: Hmmm, I don’t love when she wears her hair up because it’s usually so voluminous and lovely, and it looks like she’s wearing a very little backpack at the very top of her back, but she’s so beautiful it’s hard to really care about those things.

Erica: I support all of this. The dress is a little much for me but she’s gorgeous.

Kate: I really think the dress could do without the velvet straps/backpack, but the rest of it is actually quite magical and makes her look like Nyx. And her makeup is always so damn perfect.

Erica: I saw a Buzzfeed listicle about celebrities people can’t tell apart and she was on it with Salma Hayek as her alleged doppelgänger, which…They are both gorgeous, but pretty distinct from each other.

Zoe: I hate the hair but I love how the dress has kind of an intergalactic feel.

 

Rachel Brosnahan

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Kate: Now that I am officially a fan of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, I am officially a fan of Rachel, and I think she is absolutely gorgeous. Her makeup is always so damn perfect on that show and it was perfect at the Globes as well, you just can’t really tell that from this photo.

Erica: Oh, I’m so excited you like the show! It’s so good!

Zoe: I like when it’s on! It’s funny!

Kate: I am impressed that such a fair-skinned lady can pull off such a yellow dress (again, can’t really tell that from this photo but it looked great during the telecast), and I probably wouldn’t like it on anyone else. The skirt is the most perfect A-line ever and I think she has an essentially perfect body.

Erica: Yes, I think this more mustardy color (as opposed to a more sunny or chartreuse-y yellow) can be worn by the dark-haired and fair-skinned among us. She looks just dreamy. I wonder if she borrowed a stylist from the show.

Kate: Man, I am gushing over her. The only thing I would have done differently here is a softer, looser hairstyle, maybe with some of that lovely bouncy wave her character is known for.

Zoe: Simply perfect. Just perfect.

 

Rachel Weisz

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Kate: It’s not terrible but it is terribly ruffly, and I do not like the choker.

Erica: No. It is terrible.

Kate: Hair and makeup are great, though.

Erica: I think her hair and makeup are good and she is beautiful but the dress is a big no for me.

Zoe: She looks like she got attacked by five flocks of seagulls and scraped all the feathers off for her dress.

Kate: Zing!

 

Regina King

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Kate: OoOoOoh I love this sparkly rosé dress situation, it looks fantastic on her. Tailored perfectly.

Erica: Yeah, for real. It’s such perfection because it’s the perfect combination of girly, but also fitted, but also sparkly.

Kate: I like her hair but I think a slightly deconstructed low bun could have worked too. She might be my best dressed behind Julia Roberts right now!

Erica: Ooh, that’s big. I am a fan of the hair. I see what you’re saying but I think I prefer what she actually did. I’m also feeling like I’ve seen, like, shots of the movie she’s in, and it looks pretty good.

Zoe: Perfect hair, dress, and makeup. A 10 out of 10.

 

Rosamund Pike

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Kate: Oh dear. I need a minute to think about this.

Erica: I do not. I had an immediate negative visceral reaction. It’s like pretty girls find their prettiness too boring and need to mess it up somehow.

Kate: Ok, it’s definitely Interesting. And Daring. And New and Different. So there’s that.

Erica: There is that. And I try to like those things. But I do not like this dress.

Kate: The dress would probably not work on its own without the sparkly cropped jacket hanging over her shoulders, and I don’t want to like that, but I think I do? I just don’t like how the bottom of the skirt looks like what southern belles wore under their giant skirts in the 1800s, what were those called again?

Erica: Petticoats?

Kate: Yes! And does she always wear her hair like that? Great makeup. She is very beautiful.

Erica: The makeup, I will say, is spot-on and gorgeous.

Zoe: I kind of like the dress. I just kind of like the whole look.

Kate: This does not surprise me.

 

Sandra Oh

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Kate: Really hard for me to see her as anything but Cristina Yang.

Erica: I am going to go ahead and assume that Cristina Yang is her Grey’s character. I mainly think of her in Sideways. But I love her and I love the red carpet look.

Kate: I need to actually sit down and watch that movie sometime. Her first look is very Marilyn Monroe/Copacabana, and not in a bad way…Except the hair. Do not like the hair.

Erica: Oh, I do.

Zoe: The red carpet dress reminds me of Swan Lake.

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Kate: Her second look (which begs the age-old question, why wear something different on the red carpet if you’re just going to change immediately?) is better — red looks fabulous on her — including the hair. And I love a deep V.

Erica: So many questions. I do like the second look.

Sadie: Red! Mama? Mama? Red!  

Erica: And then there’s a third look. Honestly, isn’t it exhausting?

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Kate: The third look is my favorite, especially the back, which I of course cannot find a picture of. Again, I would like this for myself.

 

Saoirse Ronan

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Kate: Oh, absolutely stunning. Really looks like it was made for her. Love it love it love it.

Erica: Talk about a naked dress. I don’t know that the picture is doing justice to how naked this dress is. I also don’t know that I love it.

 

Taraji P. Henson

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Kate: I don’t know; the very straight long hair feels too casual for me in contrast with the very sparkly necklace and glamorous velvet(?) gown.

Erica: I feel like she has such an extreme relationship to her boobs. Either she covers them up to her chin, or they are all out there. No?

Kate: Sure?

Erica: I feel like it’s a bit of a boring choice for her. Like, it’s nice. It’s fine. It’s glam. It’s just not particularly innovative, and I feel she’s usually more interesting than this.

Zoe: I love the makeup and hair. They are clashy with the dress and jewelry. The dress is plain. Just plain. They could have done much better.

 

Thandie Newton

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Kate: The dress is pretty but not thrilling, and I would have liked to see her hair away from her face a bit. Er, I know you don’t like the cutouts.

Erica: She is one of my top ten prettiest humans, but I hate her hair this way. Probably because it’s not letting me see her face. And yes, I do not like the cutouts.

Zoe: It’s very 70s, with the hair, and the sparkly jumpsuit style of the dress.

Kate: You’re right. Ok, so, best dressed? Obviously Julia?

Erica: No? I think I’m going Regina King.

Kate: Blasphemy! Would give it to both. Worst dressed? Amber Heard?

Erica: I will accept that happily.

Kate: Well ok then. Next up: The SAG Awards on Jan. 27!

Emmys 2018

Erica: Welcome to the Emmys, where I learn that a) I watch A LOT of television, and b) I’m not watching nearly enough television.

Kate: Same and same. Blame it on Bravo.

 

Aidy Bryant

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Erica: I wish it was full length, but it’s so rare I like formal wear for the more zaftig like me and I did like this quite a bit.

Kate: Yep I actually really love this, I think it’s a great style on her and I even like the sparkly cupcake princessy-ness of it. Just a bit overwhelmed by all the fake hair.

 

Alex Borstein

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Erica: She won so I felt like we had to include her, especially because I think she’s fabulous. And she did a little strip tease to come up to the stage, which was funny, and then it was incredibly obvious that she was not, as she said, wearing a bra. But I like the dress.

Kate: Yes, I like that she pointed that out right away because she knew fashion police officers such as us would say something about it.

Erica: Also, the Art Deco earrings that so exactly matched the look of the dress and the hair and all were very special.

Kate: Yes, I don’t love this type of dress and it feels a bit dated — wasn’t this trendy a few years ago? — but it looks nice on her.

 

Alexis Bledel

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Erica: Completely ridiculous and horrid, right?

Kate: In this photo, yes, but I saw only the top half during the broadcast and thought it was kind of ok if a little Easter egg-y. She just, you know, looks like Rory.

 

Allison Janney

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Erica: I mean, it’s a lot, but I like that it’s a lot. She’s been liking dramatic sleeves, hasn’t she?

Kate: Oh my, yes it is a lot. I don’t love her new hair color.

 

Chrissy Teigen

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Erica: Her style is not my thing, but it is a thing, a good thing, and she usually pulls it off rather well. In addition to being a delight of a human being.

Kate: Oh, no, this makes her head look ridiculously small, and it’s so so so so so so beauty pageant-y. And I don’t like the hair at all!

 

Claire Foy

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Erica: I hate the length but other than that, I think she looks great.

Kate: Oh so I thought she looked absolutely gorgeous and very elegant during the broadcast but the look is falling flat in photos for sure.

 

Connie Britton

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Erica: The woman is gorgeous but cannot dress. I am so confused by her.

Kate: Oh but the HAIR is the HAIR! The hair!!

 

Dakota Fanning

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Erica: Lovely shade. What is she up to?

Kate: I think it’s actually quite a risky shade but indeed it looks lovely on her, despite having a belt. Hair is a little too messy for me, though, and earrings are a little too matchy-matchy. During the broadcast her makeup looked lovely.

 

Elisabeth Moss

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Erica: I mean, I hate her hair color right now, but otherwise, refreshingly lovely.

Kate: When she presented an award I was stunned by this dress, kind of like a modern Jessica Rabbit thing. I don’t even mind the length. But it is definitely ruined by the hair.

 

Ellie Kemper

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Kate: She is just the cutest thing. This isn’t going to, like, change the face of fashion, but I think it’s perfect for her in every way.

Erica: She looks a little slimmer than usual. I really love the dress. I actually think it is somewhat more innovative than it looks on first glance. The silhouette is very classically glam, the fabric is kind of cutesy, and the ruffles are just the right amount of imperfect.

 

Emilia Clarke

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Kate: I want to dislike this dress, but I don’t. I find it interesting. I just don’t like those front hairs with those light streaks, or anything else about her hair for that matter.

Erica: I don’t really like the dress. She’s so pretty so it’s hard to make her look bad, but the dress looks kind of cheap and weird and doesn’t highlight her in the best way it could.

 

Felicity Huffman

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Erica: I don’t have much to say about her outfit (the jacket could be better fitted), but her makeup is spot on.

 

Heidi Klum

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Erica: I kind of love it. Very glam. I don’t know what has inspired her to stop dressing like an escapee from the Capital of Panem, but I’m glad.

Kate: Um, yes, this is what I always want from Heidi. Perfection.

 

Issa Rae

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Erica: I thought I liked it when she was sitting down, so I looked up pictures, and now I don’t. I feel like the bodice doesn’t fit quite right, and I’m trying to embrace the skirt-over-pants thing, but the skirt’s too long and it doesn’t look proportionate.

Kate: Oh, I think I didn’t even realize these were pants. Ok, I get it, but yeah it needed some more work before being red carpet ready. Great makeup, though.

Erica: I still think she has one of the prettiest smiles in the whole wide world.

 

Jessica Biel

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Erica: So, a) what is she in?, and b) this is quite a dress. I think I mean that as a compliment. It’s somehow both feminine and modern and I like that. She also looks way young. Isn’t she older than me? By, like, a year?

Kate: She is in a show about some kind of murder, IDK, but this dress is f l a w L E S S, as is the whole entire look. She was one of the first people I saw on the red carpet, and I instantly thought “Best Dressed!”

 

Judith Light

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Kate: Well, that’s quite the pose, and quite the color. I feel weird critiquing her because she’s old.

Erica: Fine, I’ll do it. I hate it. I hate that color on light-skinned women. I don’t like turtlenecks in general and it looks particularly weird with the cape. The sleeves are too long for the bracelets, and the skirt looks too loose when her legs are together and too tight when they’re apart. This is not a criticism of her as a human. Just her dress.

 

Kate McKinnon

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Kate: This is cute and all but her opening number outfit was sooooo much better (thank goodness because the opening number was sooooo not good), and of course I cannot find a photo of the full thing now.

emmys 2018 kate mckinnon (stage).jpg

Erica: The jacket and pants and pumps look fantastic but also kinda casual? The Emmys strike me as the event at which no one has decided what level of formality they’re going for.

Kate: I just love the fit of the jacket and pants, and those PUMPS were my favorite part.

 

Keri Russell

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Kate: Everyone is doing this front-and-back mini/maxi thing and I have to say I am NOT loving it. AM loving her smoky makeup, though.

Erica: Yes. Makeup, gorgeous. Dress? I don’t even understand. It’s more than just the mini/maxi thing, it’s the fact that it’s one leg each, with, like, the feathers? I don’t know. I don’t get it.

 

Kristen Bell

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Kate: I saw a glambotcam thing of her on Instagram before watching the red carpet or Emmys itself, and I was like, DAMN. She looks insanely good!

Erica: I love her red carpet dress. I hate her opening number dress. (She looks good either way, because she’s an adorable magic pixie. Also I love “The Good Place.”)

emmys 2018 kristen bell (stage).jpg

Kate: Yes I’m glad she chose the white dress for the red carpet, even if it meant she changed into the fringey thing, like, immediately, but I didn’t HATE the fringey thing.

 

Laura Dern

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Erica: Fascinating hair decision.

Kate: Oh. Fascinating…Everything decision?

Erica: Yeah, I didn’t see the whole thing during the arrivals special. This is really terrible.

 

Leslie Jones

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Erica: I mean, what am I supposed to say? It is clearly the look she was going for.

Kate: I don’t mind the shape of this little lady tux for her, but I of course mind the color(s) — did she and Alexis want to together look like an Easter egg dye kit?

Erica: I think that’s a possible yes.

Kate: Aidy Bryant is the only one who successfully pulled off the pastels, it seems.

 

Mandy Moore

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Erica: I just want long dresses to hit the floor, more or less. Not the ankle.

Kate: Yep, saw this from waist up at first and loved it — especially the hair and makeup — but everything south of the waist is upsetting.

 

Maya Rudolph

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Erica: So she had one not terrific dress on the red carpet, and then an even more terrible – and like, really terrible – look for the stage. What is up with that?

emmys 2018 maya rudolph (stage).jpg

 

Michelle Dockery

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Kate: Oh I kind of find this interesting? Am I ok?

Erica: You know, I did not at all expect you to like this. I think you are broadening your horizons. And the truth is, it’s a lot of things that could go wrong very quickly, but didn’t. Craftsmanship matters.

Kate: Yeah. Somehow, it works.

 

Millie Bobby Brown

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Erica: Oh my goodness it’s insane but she is young and she should have a good time.

Kate: Well yeah the shape is insane but I feel like daring and interesting enough that I’m not mad at it. L O V E  THOSE S H O E S.

 

Padma Lakshmi

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Kate: DAYUM GIRL. DAYUM.

Erica: I mean, she already looks like Padma Lakshmi. So that was a pretty big bonus. But then she dressed the Padma Lakshmi of her to perfection.

Kate: How does someone always look THAT good?

Erica: By the way, the blue ribbon is for supporting the ACLU. In case you’re curious.

 

Penelope Cruz

emmys 2018 penelope cruz.jpg

Erica: She always goes fairy princess, doesn’t she?

Kate: Do you mean…Feather princess?

Erica: A swan princess. I mean, she’s still gorgeous and if that’s what she wants to do, then she should do it.

Kate: I don’t like her obviously very fake high pony.

 

Rachel Brosnahan

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Erica: Kate, have you watched “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel”?

Kate: No but it won everything last night so maybe I should. This looks like a less-fabulous version of Padma’s dress. During the show I thought this looked pretty great, but in the photo/after seeing Padma, mmmmmnotsomuch.

Erica: You should. It’s terrific and she’s amazing. Anyway, I think this dress probably looked better in person than it did on TV. I don’t love the waist, but otherwise, it looks quite beautifully made. Flowy and structural at the same time. And red on a girl with dark hair and pale skin is A+.

 

Regina King

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Erica: As we have established, this color dress is only acceptable on darker-skinned ladies.

Kate: Yes and I actually love this on her, the structure of the top looks really cool with the back.

 

Sandra Oh

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Erica: Zoe and I want to know what is up with her hair.

Kate: I think that’s what she usually does with her hair?

Erica: It seemed to have calmed down between the red carpet and the stage show. The dress is okay. I like the color.

Kate: It’s not my favorite.

Erica: She’s pretty funny. I don’t think I fully understood that. Or maybe I forgot.

Kate: She was one of the best characters on Grey’s — yes I still watch that and I will until the day I die.

 

Scarlett Johansson

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Kate: Fierce. Duh.

Erica: Yeah, she looks amazing. I feel like this is a really great dress. The sculptural take on glamorous silhouette, with an almost beachy casualness – I like it. I feel like most of the ladies are bringing it tonight. Or that at least there’s less boring than usual.

Kate: It looks quite tricky to, like, keep in place throughout the night, but, yeah. Fierce.

 

Taraji P. Henson

emmys 2018 taraji p henson.jpg

Erica: I do not like this at all. I do not like anything about it. I do not like the pattern. I do not like the dress-mullet bottom, and I do not like the high neck and long sleeves. I must say, given how much I hate the dress, that I do not think she looks terrible. So.

Kate: See, it’s the mini/maxi thing again! Definitely not my favorite look on her; the pattern is making me dizzy.

 

Thandie Newton

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Kate: Probably my favorite other than Jessica Biel. I think this is absolute perfection. My only thing is it looks better with the drapey thing behind her than actually draped over her shoulder, but, wow. Wow wow wow.  

Erica: Ooh I love it. The drapey thing is so dramatic and the color is so beautiful and so much fun.

Kate: I also think she could have gone with a SLIGHTLY more understated earring, but overall really freakin’ love this.

Erica: I’m cool with the earrings. She’s in my top 10 — maybe top five — for prettiest person in the universe (not counting people to whom I am blood related).

Kate: Also, it’s pronounced “Tandy” not “Thandy”, which I learned last night.

 

Tiffany Haddish

emmys 2018 tiffany haddish.jpg

Erica: I don’t care; I love it. It’s the kind of thing I would have dreamed of wearing when I was eight.

Kate: Everyone on the interwebs was making fun of her for looking like that giant rainbow thing we used to play with at camp or in elementary school and I obviously see the similarities but…I don’t hate it. It looks well made and flowy and pretty and comfortable.

Erica: Yes! It does look like the parachutes you play with as a tot! And that’s what I love about it! And I love how much she loves it.

 

Tina Fey

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Kate: She’s back to not doing great at these things. It’s kind of a lesser version of Mandy Moore’s dress, no?

Erica: That’s pretty bad. I don’t know. Is it really in the same category? But it’s terrible. The belt, the lace, the weird shimmeryness — all terrible.

 

Tracee Ellis Ross

emmys 2018 tracee ellis ross.jpg

Kate: Need I even make the Pepto-Bismol / Bubble Yum references, or are we good here?

Erica: There is a stunning woman under all of that nonsense, I swear.

Kate: So, best dressed is obviously Jessica Biel and Thandie Newton, yes?

Erica: I actually want to give it to Jessica Biel. Thandie looks gorgeous but I’m so impressed by the creativity of Jessica Biel’s dress.

Kate: Totally fair. And worst dressed?

Erica: Laura Dern? I mean, she’s a great actress and an institution and obviously she does not have to give a blank, but that’s a terrible look.

Kate: Ok, see y’all after the Golden Globes!

Oscars 2018

Kate: Previously on Fashion Police: Everyone wore black to the Golden Globes to show solidarity for the #TimesUp and #MeToo movements, and just a few weeks later they wore white roses to the Grammys to signify similar solidarity. Tonight, those same celebrities…Do absolutely nothing differently with their outfits for any sort of political movement.

Erica: I think the best thing they did was take activists with them to the Globes, so that they/we had something substantive to talk about it. Everything else is just kind of silly.

 

Allison Janney

oscars 18 allison janney.jpg

Kate: This would be a pretty boring red dress without the extremely dramatic sleeves, but they are extremely dramatic, so I don’t know.

Erica: I’m into the dramatic sleeves and the neckline that makes her look fabulous.

Kate: I do not like the matchy-matchy-ness of the clutch, nor do I like the length of the necklace. It should have gone better with the neckline of the dress.

Erica: That is accurate. But honestly I usually don’t love her red carpet looks. I like this quite a bit.

 

Allison Williams

oscars 18 allison williams.jpg

Kate: Hmmm…I like that this is softer and more romantic/girly than some of the weird-a$$ sh!t she usually wears, and she doesn’t look as frighteningly skinny as usual, but something is still not working for me with her.

Erica: Is it the skin thing? That the dress and her skin are the same ivory?

Kate: Perhaps. I think I would like it if the skirt were either more or less full; it’s like it doesn’t quite know what kind of skirt it wants to be and that is throwing the whole look off.

Erica: I rather like it for the romantic girly-ness of it, although I think it would make an even better wedding dress.

Kate: I was thinking the same thing!

 

Ashley Judd

oscars 18 ashley judd.jpg

Kate: I am commenting on her appearance in this photo and ONLY her appearance in this photo: I hate it.

Erica: Oh?

Kate: I’m saying that because I know she has been one of the more vocal #MeToo #TimesUp people and I am just not getting involved.

Erica: Okay. That is not necessarily what these posts are for. But I still am not feeling your hatred.

Kate: No hatred, I just don’t want my commentary on her looks to be mistaken for commentary on her recent activities. Anyway, her hair is too drastically parted, the work she’s had done on her face freaks me out, the earrings and necklace look terrible together, the silhouette of the dress — particularly where the waistline falls — is dreadful. The color is nice, but I hate it all together as one not-cohesive Look.

Erica: Okay. I feel that her hair always looks like that and it’s fine with me. From what I’m seeing, I rather like the silhouette and color of the dress. I think she looks nice enough.

 

Elisabeth Moss

oscars 18 elisabeth moss.jpg

Kate: Oh, this is different. For her. I think I like it!

Erica: I do, too! It’s very Oscars glam!

Kate: I still don’t like her hair that color, and the style is a little…limp…as is the makeup, but the dress? The dress is lovely. (I know I usually flip out about belts, but this belt is doing exactly what it needs to be doing for this dress/Overall Look.)

Erica: I feel like the belt could be better but the existence of the belt is not offensive. And it’s all so much better than what she usually wears.

 

Emily Blunt

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Kate: Porcelain doll and not in a good way. I think only Cate Blanchett could wear something like this and get a pass from me; sorry, Emily.

Erica: I hate it, and I like porcelain doll looks.

Kate: It is a good Overall Look, though, in terms of how the hair and makeup go with the porcelain doll dress, I just don’t like it. Great earrings, though!

Erica: It makes her look permanently slumped. And the material around her neck and the white…flowers? They look really cheap. I’m annoyed because the kind of Look this is trying to be is the kind of Look I like, and yet, I do not like this.

 

Emma Stone

oscars 18 emma stone.jpg

Kate: Ugh. Hate it.

Erica: I mean, this would be fine for some other event. Some, like, dinner for the #TimesUp Hospitality Workers Appreciation or something. But you’re at the g-d Oscars. Bring it!

Kate: When they first showed her and started panning down I was hoping it was a full-on red tux/suit thing, but that pink sash and those black pants and all the satin-ness I just can’t even. It looks like a Halloween costume! A bad, wrinkly one! AND I LOVE HALLOWEEN!

Erica: Like, a bad costume for a bullfighter? Yeah.

Kate: Yeah. Great hair, though. Eyeshadow too red.

Erica: Hair is lovely but it’s just her normal hair.

 

Gal Gadot

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Kate: I feel like the long-sparkly-necklace-with-a-deep-V thing is a very Charlize Theron thing to do.

Erica: Until tonight, at which point it has become a very Gal Gadot thing to do.

Kate: And, I mean, I can’t even comment on the rest, for I am a mere lowly peasant mortal and Gal Gadot is the Goddess of Beauty herself, and I cower before her unbelievable perfectness. She’s TOO GOOD to even be a Best Dressed nominee.

Erica: For real. The dress should feel honored to have been chosen to grace her body. (Which is to say I don’t love it but I don’t care because it’s on her.)

Kate: Same.

 

Gina Rodriguez

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Kate: Although I’m confused as to why she’s here being that she’s mostly TV and this is THE OSCARS after all, she definitely stepped it up for the occasion. This is a very beautiful dress by itself and on her.

Erica: I think I have that dress on Covet.

Kate: The hair is a bit severe and the makeup a bit plain, but I suppose she wanted to give all attention to the dress, and rightfully so. And, again, a belt is not pissing me off, so I think I’m overall growing as a person.

Erica: The belt is kind of necessary to tie together the skirt. And she can really work a low neckline.

Kate: The skirt is actually reminding me of Audrey in Sabrina, which as you know is a very high compliment coming from me. And yet, something is holding me back from making this a Best Dressed nominee…

Erica: I think it’s quite beautiful but not especially interesting.

 

Greta Gerwig

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Kate: Oh, this is a surprising color. I like it a lot on her. I even like the jeweled detail throughout, and her makeup is great.

Erica: Yeah, I usually hate yellow on white girls but this color looks good on her and I’m into the makeup and hair. Her brows are gorgeous.

Kate: This is yellow, not orange?

Erica: I would also accept orange.

Kate: The only thing I don’t like is that the dress has spaghetti straps, which feel a little casual to me, but I don’t know what other type of strap or sleeve would make sense here.

Erica: I feel the top looks structured enough that it works. But also should I cut my hair?

Kate: Should I?

Erica: You could definitely pull off something short.

 

Helen Mirren

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Kate: I mean, WHO ELSE could wear just a plain blue/grey long-sleeved gown and look THIS GOOD? Damn!

Erica: It should be boring and yet it looks great.

Kate: I even like the matchy-matchy jewelry!

Erica: Never, you say! No, really, it looks good. She looks good.

Kate: The dress she wore to present the jet ski (you have to watch the telecast to get that) was quite a bit more over the top, and she still looked fabulous.

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Erica: I felt Jimmy Kimmel’s big mistake was telling everyone Helen Mirren didn’t come with the jet ski.

 

Jennifer Garner

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Kate: Oh my GOD, DAMN! YAS JENNIFER! This is freaking amazing!

Erica: That is quite a bold color. And her hair. Her hair. I’m so damn jealous of her hair.

Kate: She is so tan and her hair is so voluminous and her arms are so muscular and that dress is so BLUE and flowy I freakin’ LOVE it. I know this drapey type of look is kind of so 2-3 years ago, but…Best Dressed nominee!

Erica: Best hair. For sure.

Kate: Ooh, should we start awarding Best Hair and Best Makeup, too?

Erica: Maybe. But only if someone really deserves it.

 

Jennifer Lawrence

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Kate: Ooooooh.

Erica: She kind of looks like an Oscar.

Kate: Her hair looked very similar to this on WWHL last week, although maybe with a side part instead of middle (wow, I’m sick), and I loved it. It’s ALMOST a little Carrie Bradshaw, in a good way. This MAKEUP though is everything to me. Very dramatic but not too dramatic and a little reminiscent of Katniss Everdeen aka the girl on fire.

Erica: I think I’d prefer it with a side part but it’s pretty and sexy and she looks more confident than she has for a while.

Kate: The dress actually doesn’t do that much for me, especially in the hip area; I think the color/material/pattern would make for a better tight, cocktail-length, going-to-the-club type of dress, and in this format it’s just a little to heavy on the bottom. But the hair and makeup are doing MORE than enough for me. Wow.

 

Laura Dern

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Kate: White looks extremely lovely on her, but, and this is more a comment on the designer than the actress, I really don’t like the two different sleeves/straps, or the silhouette of the skirt. If it’s a column dress, make it a TRUE column, you know? This falls somewhere between column and modest A-line, at least the way she is wearing it/posing.

Erica: Oh, I like the two different sleeves. And also I super-love her hair. Almost as much as I like Jennifer Garner’s.

Kate: Oh, yes, fab hair.

 

Lupita Nyong’O

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Kate: Fantastic. Perfect play on her Black Panther character while still being elegant and Fashion. Although, I am biased toward all things related to the color gold. 🙂

Erica: I haven’t seen that yet. And likely I won’t for a while. I’m interested, but I have yet to see a single Marvel Universe movie. The dress is interesting and a beautiful example of the thing it is, but it is not my kind of thing.

Kate: Marvel movies are the only ones I see in theaters anymore. Oh, I don’t love the blue eyeliner, though.

Erica: Her skin is perfectly luminous. And I’m into the hair.

 

Margot Robbie

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Kate: Oh, yes. Yup. Mhm. Yes.

Erica: She’s so beautiful. Just so beautiful.

Kate: White seems to be the theme tonight (it was also the theme a couple years ago…), but no one looks as good in it as Margot does. Damn. PERFECT hair and makeup. Perfect dress silhouette for her perfect body. BEST DRESSED NOMINEE!

Erica: I find the dress really interesting. I’m not sure I feel that the interesting skirt necessarily speaks to the interesting beading on top, but she’s so incredibly gorgeous.

 

Mary J. Blige

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Kate: I love it a whole lot from the waist down, but that asymmetrical neckline is really throwing me off.

Erica: I think I don’t mind it but here’s the thing about her look tonight: I feel like most of the time, her clothing is drawing the attention, for good or bad. This is the first time I’ve noticed her actual face and she is quite lovely.

Kate: I do NOT like the purse at all; it looks like something you’d pick up at a cheap dye-to-match shoe store. Oh, her performance dress is a zillion times better. Should have just worn that on the carpet, MJB!

 

Meryl Streep

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Kate: Oh HELL YES MERYL! I LOVE THE RED! (Sorry Allison Janney, you just lost the whole red thing.)

Erica: She looks great. Just as easy and comfortable as she always does, but in red. And also you can see that she does have a body, with, like, a waist and everything, and it looks terrific.

Kate: Absolutely love it.

 

Nicole Kidman

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Kate: I actually gasped when I saw this. She might have just won Best Dressed right here right now.

Erica: She looks super-tiny but also amazing.

Kate: This blue is the bluest of all blues in the best possible way, and everything about the dress INCLUDING the oversized bow is just so FASHION and COUTURE. It looks so perfectly made. And I absolutely love her hair and makeup, as usual. Nicole really brought the fire with this one.

Erica: I have to say, I agree with everything you are saying. I love the structure, I love that it is both the thing it is and a reference to the thing it is, if that makes any sense, which it probably doesn’t, but I love it.

 

Octavia Spencer

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Kate: I’m not entirely convinced she hasn’t worn almost this exact thing before, but it’s very pretty, and I love the color.

Erica: Love the color. Don’t love the neckline.

 

Rita Moreno

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Erica: Apparently this was the same dress she wore to the Oscars in 1962. I feel it holds up. She looks fabulous.

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Kate: I read that too and it warmed my heart, almost as much as when they played a clip of “America”. ❤

Erica: When they do things like that, I feel they are kind of screwing themselves, because then I’m like, “Yeah, let’s watch West Side Story instead of this boring crap”.

 

Salma Hayek

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Kate: This is one of those things that Fashion People are going to love and I just won’t get.

Erica: I first saw it in the little black-and-white thing they did to open the ceremonies. I liked it then.

Kate: I do get that it would look absolutely ridiculous on almost anyone else, I just don’t like the almost-neon purple with all the ruffles and draped jewels, it’s too much. I also don’t like the piecey hair.

Erica: I don’t like the color but I kind of like the look. I mean, it’s a Look, and she’s committed. And I came of age in the mid-90s; piecey hair doesn’t bother me at all.

 

Sandra Bullock

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Kate: Oh well hello there Sandy, didn’t expect to see you here!

Erica: Her hair, as ever, looks beautiful, but I am less in love with the straight flat thing than I am in love with Jennifer Garner’s volume.

Kate: I love this. I feel like I always love everything she wears. I think she’s one of the most gorgeous people. This reminds me of something JLD would wear, another one of the most gorgeous people.

Erica: I think the dress looks sort of casually slinky in a very beautiful way. Kind of perfect for a glamorous vet like her. I don’t love the matte lipstick but I love the thick brows. Is that a thing right now? I like it. As you know.

Kate: Oh, yes, the thicker the better. And as gorgeous as her hair is down and straight and shiny, up and a little less structured might have worked better with this dress. Excellent makeup, as always.

 

Saoirse Ronan

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Kate: This is kind of a combination of every other baby pink dress that has been worn by a celebrity on the Oscars red carpet.

Erica: It’s like an homage, though. It’s an homage to Gwyneth Paltrow’s look when she won for Shakespeare in Love (which we now have to, like, give huge side-eye to because she was sexually harassed by Harvey Weinstein to be in that movie, right?) and it’s an homage to Marilyn Monroe’s Diamonds Are a Girl’s Best Friend look. I approve.

Kate: I like it, kind of, but mostly I like how much effort she put into the Overall Look with the hair and makeup and shoes (LOVE the shoes!) going all so perfectly together, even though it’s not my usual preferred Look.

Erica: It’s one of mine so I give it an enthusiastic thumbs up.

 

Taraji P. Henson

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Kate: This is so Taraji I just cannot even.

Erica: It is the apotheosis of her look. I like it because I like her.

Kate: I like it, too, especially the very sleek bob (been thinking about doing that to my hair…!), and even the lipstick, but those sleeves I just cannot. They’re not even sleeves, they are upper-arm bracelets with dangly pieces of fabric down to the floor that are not attached to any other part of the dress, which begs the question: WHY?

Erica: No, here’s what begs the question WHY?: She’s starring in a remake of What Women Want, only it’s going to be What Men Want, and she’s going to hear men’s thoughts. Why is this happening? Who wanted to remake this movie? Who doesn’t already know what men want? Who exists in a universe in which what men want ISN’T broadcast 24/7 over every conceivable medium?

Kate: Oh, I kind of loved that movie, mostly because it so perfectly represented the perfectly silly type of romantic comedy from that era. A golden era, if you will.

 

Tiffany Haddish

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Erica: I’m including her because I find her amusing and her look on the red carpet, she claims, is to honor the people of Eritrea, where her father is from, and a) I now know how to pronounce Eritrea, and b) I’m into the look. It’s like a not-real-person ensemble, like the formal gown for a character in a fantasy movie, and I’m into it.oscars 18 tiffany haddish on stage.jpg

Kate: It is very princessy, but it’s not what she wore to present, which I don’t understand. I like what she wore to present a lot, though, especially how perfectly the necklace went with the neckline (maybe it was part of the dress?), and that she even looked good in it with Uggs instead of heels.

Erica: When she presented, she had changed into a white formal number that she has worn before, and joked on SNL about how she loves wearing it, so I find that amusing, too. I don’t know how much of her persona is real, but it’s a charming persona.

 

Viola Davis

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Kate: She and Allison Janney both decided to bring the same clutch in different dye-to-match colors. I hate this dress more than possibly anything.

Erica: This is the third dress I saw, and I will say, if this is the low bar, the ladies have done well for themselves this evening.

Kate: This color shouldn’t be seen anywhere outside the Barbie universe, and I would say this about any woman of any age or race wearing this color. It REALLY sucks!

Erica: The material is very weird and making a very strange effect on the TV screen. And I did assume when I saw the dress and not the person — which is a problem right there, that the dress is just SO MUCH — that it was a much younger person wearing it.

Kate: Yes, the hairstyle and big shiny hoops are way too young for her. And the dress is also not tailored very well to her body in the strap and boob area, right? Is that just me?

Erica: It is not just you. Somewhat disappointing ensemble. I also don’t love the hair style. I feel like it’s the thing I try to prevent my hair from doing — flattening on the top and frizzing on the bottom. If it looks good on anyone, it’s teenagers, but it’s not my favorite look on anyone.

 

Wendi McLendon-Covey

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Kate: I’m including her because I feel like we never do or she’s never at these things and I LOVE this dress, ESPECIALLY on her!

Erica: I have no idea who this person is.

Kate: Yes you do, look it up. She was in Bridesmaids and other things. This is a beautiful silhouette in a beautiful color that is actually pretty hard to pull off, but everything she did with her hair and makeup and jewelry make it work.

Erica: Oh, yes, I do know who this person is, and yes, she looks gorgeous. Good job, Wendi McLendon-Covey!

 

Whoopi Goldberg

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Kate: I like that it’s not a blue or black smock/potato sack, which I feel like is what she usually wears, but it is quite insane-looking nonetheless.

Erica: Whoopi is an EGOT?

Kate: She’s, like, one of the most known EGOTs. (So is Audrey!)

Erica: The dress is made by Christian Siriano so I want to love it but I do not. At all. Her daughter looks pretty, though.

 

Zendaya

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Kate: This is kind of giving me Gone with the Wind vibes, no?

Erica: She is so tall. So incredibly tall.

Kate: I wouldn’t normally like it, and I don’t totally like it, but for once I actually GET why this is Fashion and it does look very well-made and beautiful on her, if a little baggy.

Erica: I like it because I like flowy things and because she strikes me as delightful.

Kate: I also don’t normally like top knots that are that tight/high up, but it works on her, and great makeup.

Erica: I would like crazier hair but it’s fine with me. I thought she looked very nice. So, Worst Dressed?

Kate: Emma Stone? Viola Davis?

Erica: Yes. Signing on for Emma. And Best Dressed? I don’t know if this is because I’m grading on a curve, but I’m into Nicole Kidman’s look.

Kate: 100% for sure yes, although Margot Robbie and Jennifer Garner are VERY close second and third for me.

Erica: And Sandy.

Kate: And that does it for the 2017-2018 award show season, folks! See you after the Met Gala, maybe!

Grammys 2018

Kate: Tonight we are not bringing activists with us or wearing all black but we are wearing white roses. Because…

Erica: #metoo and Time’s Up. I don’t know. Look, Time’s Up is a good organization (I think). It’s a good cause (for sure). And if wearing white roses does something to help, then great. White roses. I still think activists on the red carpet, from whom you never move an inch so that everyone who covers the red carpet has to at least mention their name, was a better idea.

Kate: Right. Anyway, this is the award show where neither Erica nor I know many of the guests anymore, therefore, this post will only cover people with names we recognize. Sorry, relatively-new artists!

Erica: Wow, that’s going to limit us. A lot.

 

Anna Kendrick

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Kate: Well damn! I love it. It’s a fun and interesting new way to wear these suits everyone’s been playing out; I like the sexy fitted camisole underneath. The only thing I would have changed is the shoes — the soft pink color throws off the rest of the vixen vibe. But would black shoes have been TOO obvious?

Erica: I’m actually going to applaud the color of the shoes specifically because they are not obvious. I don’t know what is happening to me right now. I want to hate this. I want to hate the shape of the jacket and the shape of the pants and the fact that the sexy camisole is, like, actually underwear. But I kind of love it. I think she looks great.

Kate: Because she does look great. Also very much love the hair.

 

Ashanti

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Kate: I feel like I maybe said this last year, but, she’s here because…She’s still making music? This very poofy dress is very fun, though, and I like her hair short like that.

Erica: She has been famous since I was the right age to care who she was (not that I did even then, #lifelongnerd) and yet I have no mental image of her. She slips right out of my memory every year. That said, the dress would be super fun if I couldn’t see her nipples through it. Also, where’s your white rose, lady?

Kate: Oooh.

 

Beyonce

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Kate: I fear saying anything about her because of getting attacked by her fans.

Erica: We’ll probably survive.

Kate: She didn’t do the red carpet and showed up next to Jay-Z about halfway through the show, so I only caught glimpses of the outfit, at first. The dress itself is…Interesting…But I am anti-hat and sunglasses while indoors at night in NYC. It’s just too much of a statement.

Erica: I can’t see it super-well but the glasses-hat-sunglasses is a little weird. Also, Jay-Z is looking old.

Kate: And those earrings look like they weigh 100 pounds. That can’t be good for her earlobes.

 

Cardi B

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Kate: I had no idea that this is what she looks like. She has a very pretty face, and a very Gaga-esque dress on, which I love. Very…Misunderstood angel? Or some such?

Erica: This is insane and I applaud it. Also, I only know who Cardi B is because over the last month, I’ve been seeing posts in my Facebook feed that say things like, “Cardi B has now sold more records than the Beatles!” and I have gone, “Who?”

Kate: I don’t like the piecey-ness of the hairdo, but I get how it goes with the overall thing.

 

Chrissy Teigen

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Kate: Oh, I forgot she’s pregnant again.

Erica: Me, too. I thought she had trouble getting pregnant?

Kate: I don’t love the length of this or the drapey sleeves, but for once I do not mind the belt because of the baby bump. The two work well together.

Erica: I don’t love this, but I just don’t love it. It’s not my thing. What is my thing is that she and her husband, whatshisname, donated $200,000 to Time’s Up on behalf of all the U.S. gymnasts who have been abused by their doctor. That’s pretty good.

Kate: John Legend. Yes, very good. Those shoes look new levels of uncomfortable, and I don’t like the red clutch with the silver sparkly dress.

 

Cyndi Lauper

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Kate: I mean, what ELSE would she wear?

Erica: Look, you do you, Cyndi Lauper. You’ve never shown any inclination to be less than 100% who you are, and you shouldn’t stop now.

 

Eve

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Kate: I feel like this is something she would have worn, and possibly did wear, to this exact award show when her music was popular, but I’m not sure what to do with it in 2018.

Erica: Do I know who this person is? Her face looks familiar. Does she possibly have cheetah paw print tattoos on her chest? Anyway, yeah, either this is dated, or we’re old now and the stuff that was popular when we were young is having a revival.

Kate: She does! And the similar-but-different sparkly pantsuit she wore to present an award was MUCH better.

 

Hailee Steinfeld

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Kate: Yup. This is what you should look like at the Grammys when you are this age and this gorgeous. Do I like the bright turquoise eye shadow? No, not by itself, but it works with the loose wavy dark hair and tight bright white dress and above-the-knee shiny purple boots. Props to her stylist.

Erica: I really love the hair. I would like the boots to be a slimmer fit under such a slim dress. But I appreciate them.

Kate: Move over, Dorit Kemsley, THIS is how you do purple boots!

Erica: Ugh, I hate Dorit. Even if Dorit wore purple boots to perfection, I would still prefer Hailee Steinfeld wearing them because I prefer Hailee Steinfeld existing in my consciousness.

 

Heidi Klum

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Kate: I did NOT recognize her when she came onto the red carpet to talk to Giuliana. Took me SEVERAL minutes. Maybe it’s the darker, longer hair?

Erica: Yeah, I’m not loving the hair. I mean, I think she could go darker, but I hate that way-dark-roots look.

Kate: Also, it looks like she kept one of her Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show costumes and threw some sheer material over it. She obviously looks phenomenal, but it’s not my type of thing.

Erica: It’s kind of my type of thing, at least for the Grammys. It’s, like, her level of weirdness matched the level of expected weirdness and kind of found a mellow spot.

 

Janelle Monae

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Kate: Standard.

Erica: Oh, really? I like this. I like this very, very much. It might be my favorite so far. I wish her hair was not blonde but I’m into the look. Maybe because it’s making me think of Ferdinand.

Kate: Standard for Janelle Monae, I mean. She always wears some combination of black and white, so I like that this has pops of color, and she often wears a pantsuit, but so does everyone else these days. Like Anna Kendrick’s, I like how this is different with the wider leg, and when she introduced Kesha the camera zoomed in on her very-cool makeup.

 

Jenny McCarthy

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Kate: I thought this was Katy Perry, at first.

Erica: Ugh. Vaccinate your kids. I know, I know, evil Big Pharma and Western Medicine, but once upon a time, losing at least one of your kids to a childhood disease was, like, an everyday occurence and now it’s fairly rare in countries with access to vaccines and also Jenny McCarthy is a former co-host of an MTV dating show and not a doctor.

Kate: Ummm, I have no opinion on this issue. Honestly, this is very kooky, but somehow it works. Not Best Dressed works, but, works.

Erica: I will give her no credit. The top looks weirdly baggy.

 

Katie Holmes

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Kate: I am stumped as to why she is here looking fresh off the set of The Great Gatsby.

Erica: Well, just the hair. The dress is sort of sad 1950s.

Kate: I don’t love her hair short and slicked like that, the dress is ok, and I hate the shoes so much. You can’t tell from this photo, but those heels are so thick they look ridiculous.

Erica: I don’t like the dress. At all. The whole thing is like she’s trying to unpretty herself.

 

Kelly Clarkson

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Kate: I guess this black-and-gold concept is her thing, now? There’s too much going on here. We don’t need all these instances of gold — maybe just 2 of the 4 — and we certainly don’t need the fringe.

Erica: You know what? I would like this if it were for the Met Gala. For the Grammys, it’s a little too regal.

Kate: Fair.

 

Kesha

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Kate: This feels like a wasted opportunity to me.

Erica: This just feels kind of ugly to me.

Kate: She is back on the scene with an amazing song this year, and she went through some serious struggles over the last few years, so her first red carpet moment after all that should have had more pizazz, more elegance mixed with her quirky personality, but this is just a blue suit with a silky white button-down and long wavy hair. Wasted opportunity.

Erica: I kind of hate the suit. I like her performance outfit better. PS, now both my kids are in love with her old songs.

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Kate: But her performance outfit was just a white suit over the same silky button-down! All of the other women on stage had much more interesting all-white outfits. (I remember Zoe liking her when she was Ke$ha, perhaps because of the Glee episode dedicated to her?)

Erica: Yeah, and we have a bunch of her songs on Just Dance. Sadie likes them.

 

Lady Gaga

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Kate: I love it — it’s a mix of her old wackiness and more recent red carpet elegance. Very much love the dramatic eye makeup.

Erica: Yeah, she’s got the whackadoo-but-done-well thing down.

Kate: The only thing I don’t like is the hair, which looks like French braid pigtails a la Little House on the Prairie.

Erica: Well, it’s an added bit of whackadoo.

Kate: Her performance dress (again, why wear a different one on the red carpet if you are just going to change in 5 minutes?) is even more Gaga, an enormous pink number that on anyone else I would hate.

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Erica: I guess I understand why she wouldn’t want to debut her big performance look on the carpet, because for Lady Gaga, the costuming is so much a part of the performance that it would take something away from the moment she appears on stage. But then why do the red carpet at all? Why not just show up at the back of the theater in your PJs and get dressed backstage? This is why I’m not a celebrity.

 

Lana Del Rey

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Kate: Now this is my type of dress, but probably not a Grammys type of dress. It also probably doesn’t need the necklace. It’s very lovely and light and fluttery. I maybe would have done an updo, though.

Erica: I quite like the dress. I’m fine with it at the Grammys. The hair thing is also weird and cool and I like it although it looks a little like maybe she got it at Claire’s, although I’m sure it’s more expensive than it looks. My thing is, is that what she always looked like? I feel like I have a very different picture of her in my head.

 

Lisa Loeb

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Kate: Well who knew she was still around, eh? Her skin looks amazing, but not as amazing as her arms. I want those arms.

Erica: I definitely didn’t know she was still around and I definitely didn’t know she was still doing things that could win a person Grammys but I am so happy to see her and I think she looks great! Her hair looks adorable like that. She invented that glasses trend the first time around and can still rock it now, and the dress maybe could use a better hem but looks great on her tiny, rock-hard little body!

Kate:The casualness of the hair and glasses is kind of in juxtaposition with the fanciness of the gown (which I like very much), but somehow, it…Works. And I kind of love it!

Erica: Yeah, I’m with you. Love!

 

Lorde

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Kate: She’s looking very Anne Hathaway with that red lip and equally red dress. I like her hair like that.

Erica: Did you know Anne Hathaway was also the name of Shakespeare’s (possibly estranged) wife? Do you suppose her parents knew that when they gave her that name?

Kate: Oh, dear.

Erica: I like her hair but I don’t like the dress. I think it makes her boobs look weird and the bottom looks cheaply put together.

 

Miley Cyrus

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Kate: I…Don’t know what to do with this.

Erica: I mean, I like the dress. I think it’s very pretty. It’s a weird dress for her to be wearing, but on another person, and/or on another occasion, I think it’d be one of my favorites.

Kate: Do you mean her performance dress?

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Erica: Ah, yes. Yes, I do. Sorry, I couldn’t actually watch, so I’m just looking at pictures. So I like the red/pink flowy dress. I wish she had done something more with it — or been about thirty years older while wearing it — but it’s a pretty dress. 

Kate: It’s ok, a little much, but it doesn’t at all go with plain-Jane hair or makeup. Everything about her red carpet ensemble says “I don’t want to be here”, and, if that’s the case, Ms. Attitude, then…Don’t. Be here.

Erica: Now that I am looking at the red carpet look, I am thinking about my distinction between Wearing a Dress (or Outfit) and Creating a Look. The Grammys is an event where, if you’re on the border, you should choose Look. And her red carpet ensemble created the opportunity for a Look, which she did not commit to. So, yes, it then comes across as not wanting to be there. Even if she did have the biggest white rose.  

Kate: But she sang with Elton John! Isn’t that a reason to want to be there? (Why did she of all people get to do that, by the way?)

 

Pink

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Kate: She couldn’t have worn a more Pink dress if she tried. It’s not my favorite but it’s the right thing for her to wear.

Erica: I mean, it’s insane. But that’s fine.

 

Reba McEntire

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Kate: I know some ladies like wearing these types of dresses because they create the illusion of a slimmer waistline, but this one is freakishly slim. Otherwise, fine.

Erica: I think it’s boring and makes her boobs look droopy. Did you see that she’s, like, Colonel Sanders now or something? Is that a real thing or some nonsense on my Facebook feed I didn’t investigate hard enough to realize it was a joke?

Kate: This is why I don’t go on Facebook anymore.

 

Rihanna

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Kate: Ok, I’ll start with something positive: I like her hair.

Erica: Her hair does look amazing.

Kate: Everyone in the entertainment world will be falling all over themselves about how great this shiny brown raincoat dress and matching boots are and I will never understand why, but I suppose that’s why I’m not the head of a fashion magazine or anything.

Erica: I don’t mind it. I’m not seeing a good picture of it but from what I’m seeing, it’s interesting and a little outlandish but still well-made and well-fitted and everything. I kind of like her performance outfit better, although it is boring and obvious. It just makes her look amazing. Was Rihanna always so va-va-voom curvy?

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Kate: Her hair also looked good during her performance, but the dress was a little too middle-school-dance-recital for me. No, she is looking curvier than usual.

Erica: Well, I like it.

 

Rita Ora

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Kate: Hmmm, she is usually a little wilder than this. It’s pretty, but you can’t even see the fun sparkly accents in the photo that you could see during the pre-show.

Erica: I have heard her name a million times and it’s still not clear to me who she is. I actually like the idea of the outfit, and the white rose looks good on it, but what’s with the weird gaping at the top? And I hate the hair color situation.

Kate: She is a singer? She always has weird hair color situations.

 

Sarah Silverman

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Kate: What. The. Actual. F*ck.

Erica: She’s going to the Grammys dressed as 1986 Madonna!

Kate: What the f*ck!!!!

Erica: You saw her last week. She was, like, poised and proper-looking. It made her nuts. She had to brat out.

Kate: Worst Dressed. Not even worth a discussion.

Erica: Okay, who for Best? If we’re going with “Outfits I would definitely wear if I had all the money and no f*cks to give,” I’d go with Lana Del Rey, but I can be persuaded to favor someone else.

Kate: How about Lisa Loeb because now we’re both old?

Erica: Yes! Embrace the aging! See you for the BIG shindig!

Kate: She means the Oscars, people! March 4! Tune in here March 5 for our very qualified opinions on all the fashion and political statements, since apparently these go hand in hand now!

SAGs 2018

Erica: So no black this time.

Kate: Everyone will judge me for saying this, but, thank god.

Erica: I mean, not no black. But not, like, on-purpose all-black. My thing is, you were right; the more important part was bringing activists with them. Did they do that this time?

Kate: No, they did not.

Erica: By the way, I didn’t realize this, but the guys were all in black for the Golden Globes, too. You just couldn’t tell, because they were in tuxes.

Kate: People were very into the sparkle at the SAGs. I like it.

 

Alison Brie

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Kate: Again, I feel like she is just too skinny, it’s freaking me out.

Erica: She is very skinny but I also just adore her face. And I think she’s very talented.

Kate: I hate every possible thing about this dress so very much. I get how it could be some kind of nod to her 80s-era TV show but the cutouts are ill placed and do not match the rest of the dress, the slit is too high and the shoes are all wrong. I haven’t even seen everyone yet, but, Worst Dressed nominee!

Erica: Yeah, this is definitely supposed to look like the TV show she is on, which is not a good aesthetic choice IMHO. Oh, wait, we’ve dedicated years of our lives to this blog. My O is not H at all. It’s a bad dress.

 

Allison Janney

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Erica: Her makeup looks perfect.

Kate: Does it? Is she very tan?

Erica: I hate the dress, of course.

Kate: Of course. It looks extremely uncomfortable.

 

Allison Williams

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Erica: I’m not loving the structure, but the beading is very pretty. You hate the hair, right?

Kate: I hate all of it — hair too dark and in a very strange ‘do, lips too dark, eye makeup too dark, skin too pale for makeup and dress, dress too structured — it’s scaring me.

 

Brie Larson

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Kate: Curtains.

Erica: I am trying to come up with a way to say something nice about this dress. I am failing.

Kate: Sparkly curtains. Why is she frowning?

Erica: She doesn’t like the dress, either. She’s going to fire her stylist when she gets home. Her hair and makeup look pretty.

Kate: Yes, they do.

 

Connie Britton

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Erica: Okay, so she wore her hair down.

Kate: This is classic Connie Britton! Just what I needed. Love.

Erica: The dress is…Just…I can’t. I literally can’t even.

Kate: Wait, what? Why? I like it!

Erica: Really? Maybe it looks better on the red carpet, but when I saw it on stage, I just hated it.

Kate: See? What should they dress for, the telecast or the photos? It’s all so unclear.

Erica: No, wait a second, I’ve seen pics and I still hate it. She’s too young to dress like my grandma.

Kate: Oh, which of our grandmas had this dress? 🙂

Erica: Grandma Edith would have ROCKED this.

Dakota Fanning

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Kate: It’s very weird that she is a grown-up now. This dress is actually quite lovely, although too close to the color of her skin (and you know how I feel about THAT), and she’s almost too tall for it. Ya know?

Erica: I do not have your problem with the skin color issue. I think the dress is just a little too prom-y for her but she looks lovely.

 

Elisabeth Moss

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Kate: That damn length again!

Erica: We can’t talk her out of it. And the skirt’s shape and slit make it almost look like a jumpsuit in some pics and it’s not very flattering to her figure and I hate it.

Kate: Agree about the jumpsuit thing. And, she still wore black. I do like it better than most of her usual red carpet choices, but…Meh.

Erica: I don’t like it at all.

 

Felicity Huffman

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Erica: Her makeup is even better than Allison Janney’s.

Kate: Um her everything is even better than everyone’s…Everything! I absolutely adore this dress, and I’m not even bothered by the necklace and the long earrings. It all looks so fantastic, I want it.

Erica: If she and William H. Macy break up, it will break me in half. I will never believe in love again.

 

Frances McDormand

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Erica: I like the…Color?

Kate: No, you don’t.

Erica: I accept that assessment.

Kate: It bothers me that she’s wearing some crazy-@ss dress, nice jewelry, but absolutely no makeup. Her hair is crazy but crazy hair is “in”, so all she needed was a touch of foundation and she would have looked acceptable.

 

Gabrielle Carteris

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Erica: I didn’t realize who this was she was at first. If you don’t know, it’s Andrea from Beverly Hills 90210. And she looks amazing.

Kate: I thought it was Lizzie McGuire’s mom. Her boobs are NOT fitting into that dress. Good color, though.

Erica: She could be Lizzie McGuire’s mom, too. And where we know her from would let people know exactly how old each of us is.

Kate: She’s not, though.

Erica: Well, then, never mind. We’re both 25. I kind of enjoy her extreme cleavage, although not the cut-out under it. And I enjoy the cape situation.

 

Geena Davis & Susan Sarandon

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Kate: Since they appeared on the carpet together (I guess they squashed the beef?), let’s critique them together.

Erica: Or maybe we are making up the beef in our head. Still, this is very unorthodox. (Deep sigh.) Okay, I’m ready. Let’s do this.

Kate: Geena’s dress looked like a very nice dark green on the telecast but here it looks black, and I think it looked better in the very nice dark green. Either way, it’s pretty, but the amount of work she’s had done on her face scares me.

Erica: Oh, yeah, I’m seeing black, and dark green would be nice. I pretty much like the dress. It’s her usual thing, but it’s her usual thing done well.

Kate: Susan is wearing cat-eye shades on the red carpet, so I love that, but it’s probably because she was high. I like that she ditched her usual pantsuit for a sparkly (!) blue number, which looks quite nice on her. I didn’t realize how tiny she was, but I guess everyone is tiny next to Geena.

Erica: The trouble with sparkles is they are hard to tailor, and her dress looked a bit long to me and awkward in the skirt, but it could be that I’m looking for things to critique. The dress is a nice color and shape and it looked good on her.

 

Gina Rodriguez

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Kate: I hate that top black bra part oh so very much. It makes the dress look unfinished. Although I don’t think I would like it without that, either.

Erica: Whereas I would have liked it very much without that black bra thing. BTW, I couldn’t get a pic of her without her costar Yael Grobglas from “Jane the Virgin”. Kate, have you seen it? It is bonkers and I love it.

Kate: I have not watched it and am currently overwhelmed by all the shows I need to watch (and rewatch) right now.

 

Goldie Hawn

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Kate: While this color is universally gross, she actually looks nice and age-appropriate and comfortable.

Erica: You don’t like this color? I like this color fine and I think she looks lovely.

Kate: Sky/powder blue? So 90s, and not the 90s that is always in the process of making a comeback.

 

Greta Gerwig

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Kate: Hmmm…I only saw this from the waist up on the telecast, and I liked it (including the hair, makeup and jewelry, because it all suits her and her “thing” well), but now I feel like it’s too much. Perhaps if the waist were nipped in and the skirt flared out a little/had something different going on? Different pattern? Different material? Maybe I just like the top as…A top?

Erica: Yeah, I don’t like it. At all. On any level. Still want to see Lady Bird, though.

 

Halle Berry

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Erica: Lovely. Special. Very revealing but Jesus Christmas, I’d reveal that if I had it, too.

Kate: During the pre-show she kept like, fluffing out the sheer black overlay of the skirt, but in a way that said, “Here, I’m here, wearing a dress, happy?” It was very not-Halle. For the second award show in a row this year, I don’t like her hair, but, yes, everything else, Jesus Christmas.

 

Kate Hudson

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Erica: Okay, I’ve come up with a few plausible explanations of this look: 1) She really wanted her mom to be the shining, sexy star tonight, so she deliberately made herself look insane; 2) She really hates her mom and wanted everyone to say, “Sure, Goldie looks good, but what did she do to her daughter that her daughter would appear in public dressed that way?”; 3) She has a young daughter who is going through a deep Little House on the Prairie phase and she allowed that daughter to dress her; 4) As the creator of an athletics line, she has to have a perfect-looking body at all times, but when she woke up Sunday morning she discovered a tiny little flab of fat on her upper arm and she could not wear her usual lovely, slinky, fashion-forward gown, and the only one she could find to cover up her imperfection was this.

Kate: 5) Rhett Butler vomited chocolate-chip cotton candy all over one of Scarlett O’Hara’s dresses. I. Can. NOT. !!!

 

Kristen Bell

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Erica: Her red carpet look, pictured here, is gorgeous and special and I love it. (Okay, it’s a little long on her, but I still love it.)

Kate: Yes I like it a lot, the color is perfect for her.

Erica: Of course she always looks lovely. She’s the most adorable person.

Kate: Great teeth, great smile. Her first presenting dress is even better — ooh la la!

Erica: See, I prefer the red carpet look, partially because black bores me. But she continues to be adorable.  

Kate: But the deep sparkly (!) v makes it not-boring. Her second presenting dress is pretty, too, but, indeed, kind of boring. Except for the pink collar. More sparkle!

Erica: I just don’t understand why women have to change their outfits for these things every 15 minutes. Do angels get their wings every time you redo your hair? Aren’t these looks labor-intensive? Explain.

Kate: Kristen, we’re waiting!

 

Laura Dern

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Kate: Belt!

Erica: Oof, I am not liking this, belt or no belt.

Kate: The material and neckline of the dress is lovely, but, BELT, and length. And her hair looks like it’s almost completely out of its ponytail holder, which drives me nuts.

Erica: It doesn’t look like a finished dress. It looks like an idea for a dress that they haven’t finished making yet.

 

Laura Linney

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Erica: I appreciate that not everyone wants to look super-duper sexy all the time, but this is fundamentalist Mormon levels of modesty.

Kate: But that soft pink color and sparkly (!) feather design are kind of in contrast to that. Freaky. I think she looks alarmingly like Ginny Weasley all grown up.

Erica: Interesting assessment. I can see that. She looks lovely — like, her hair, her makeup, she’s generally pretty glowy. But it’s weird.

 

Leslie Mann

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Erica: It’s a little figure-skater-y.

Kate: I think she looks kind of fab. See? Everyone’s in sparkles.

Erica: Yeah. It’s fine. It’s just not my favorite.

 

Lupita Nyong’O

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Kate: Oh, yes. Yes yes yes.

Erica: Were her arms always that ferocious?

Kate: This is very, very beautiful. I think it would look great on just about any of these red carpet ladies, too.

Erica: I do like it. It’s the right amount and shape of feathers. The sparkle is lovely. The shape looks amazing on her. The hair and makeup and jewelry are perfectly restrained. Just lovely.

Kate: And when she presented the final award with sparkly-curtain-wearing Brie Larson, she wore these adorable cat-eye glasses (regular, not sun, like Sarandon) that looked like they were made to go with that dress. Hey, maybe they were! Ahh, to be rich and famous and have people make things for you.

 

Mandy Moore

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Erica: I like her hair lighter/redder.

Kate: Is it redder? Both her hair and makeup are flawless right now.

Erica: No, I’m saying, I like her hair when it is lighter and redder than it is right now. But that’s a personal preference.

Kate: Oh, no, this is fantastic.

Erica: The dress read a little flat on stage.

Kate: It’s flat in photos, but when she walked on the carpet in the pre-show? Damn. Perfection.

 

Margot Robbie

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Erica: This is very different for her, I think.

Kate: Yea, softer, and I like it a lot. I don’t want to like the feathers (perhaps they are a bit too high?) but without them the dress would be boring. Perfect hair and makeup, of course. Always. Hard not to when you have a perfect face.

Erica: The feather placement is very strange. Very strange. But I like the softness. And yes, the face, it’s a keeper.

Kate: Best Dressed nominee!

 

Marisa Tomei

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Erica: Her hair is still ridiculously fabulous.

Kate: So is her skin! Holy sh!t. Goals.

Erica: I’d like her dress better if it wasn’t weirdly short.

Kate: Ya but mostly I only see her perfect hair and face and the fact that she is 53. 53! (The perfect hair and skin was more evident during the telecast than in this photo.)

 

Mary J. Blige

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Erica: Well, I’ll give her this. It’s very interesting. I think I actually like it.

Kate: Yes interesting to look at. Like a piece of art. Not my favorite dress.

 

Maya Rudolph

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Erica: No.

Kate: Curtains.

Erica: Why? Explain yourself.

Kate: Curtains.

 

Millie Bobby Brown

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Erica: Her sparkly eye makeup is cute and very age-appropriate.

Kate: Very, and it matches her dress, and her hair is very Sporty Spice, in a good way. And she is wearing Converses. She is freakin’ adorable.

 

Molly Shannon

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Erica: I just want to hike it up a bit. Like, it needs to be three inches higher.

Kate: Why? Then it would look silly. Her boobs aren’t falling out or anything. I think she looks great. I don’t know if we’ve ever even had her in one of these posts, but I am surprised by how good she looked.

 

Nicole Kidman

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Erica: I mean, I hate the dress, a lot. It reminds me of the terrible dress I had to wear in a play in summer camp when I was a teenager. But her hair and makeup are amazing.

Kate: The dress is a bad color, but the back is cool and the shape is such that only she could wear it. To me her hair feels TOO blonde and her makeup TOO perfect, like something is just off. AND I THOUGHT WE WERE DONE WITH THESE LOW SIDE BUN THINGS?!

Erica: Oh, I love the makeup. But I will always prefer her — and everyone on the planet — as a redhead.

 

Olivia Munn

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Kate: A similar idea to Mary J. Blige’s dress, no?

Erica: Yes, but more conservative. I think Mary J.’s was more intriguing.

Kate: She is very gorgeous but this is overall not working for me. I would like her hair pulled back off her face a little.

Erica: She has such nice cheekbones, it’s good to show them off. I feel like the dress was flattering to her but not particularly beautiful or special.

 

Reese Witherspoon

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Erica: The color is very nice.

Kate: Oh I love the whole thing, I think it’s such a refreshing change from her usual very-fitted frock. The earrings are a little matchy-matchy, but the makeup is peachy and lovely and the hair is soft and excellent.

Erica: My only thing is the chevron-ness. I think I would have loved it if not for that. But I do like the softness and the shape and the color.

 

Rita Moreno

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Erica: That dress looks like she’s reminding us that she was Anita in West Side Story.

Kate: Yes. Perfection. (For her.)

Erica: I mean, like we would ever say anything bad about Rita Moreno. She could wear something Heidi Klum’s stylist rejected as being too weird, and we’d be all, “Rita looks amazing!” But, yes. She looks good.

 

Saoirse Ronan

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Erica: I’m sorry, I like her, but this is not a good look. The dress is so weird and confusing. And her hair…You often criticize hair for not looking any better than yours does on an average work day. But your average-work-day hair is ten times better than my average-day hair. And her hair doesn’t look any better than MINE on an average day.

Kate: Oh, see I think the the dress is a little, like, as if Game of Thrones were happening in 2018, but in a way that I kind of like. Agree about the hair. Lovely makeup and earrings, though.

 

Sarah Silverman

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Erica: Belt!

Kate: I don’t expect much from her, TBH. I actually like the dress (minus belt), though; very Audrey.

Erica: Yes. I think that’s why the belt is so frustrating to me in this instance.

Kate: Ok, so, Best Dressed?

Erica: For my money, Lupita. I felt the dress was alchemy.

Kate: OH yea, I’m cool with that. Worst Dressed?

Erica: Kate Hudson. Insanity. On a puzzling evening, a stand-out weirdness.

Kate: Lots of possibilities, but sure I’ll go with Kate. See you after the Grammys, folks!

Golden Globes 2018

Erica: First things first: Yesterday was Kate’s Big Birthday. She is an Old now. Welcome to the club; we hope you enjoy your new 9 p.m. bedtime.

Kate: By “Big” and “Old” she means 30. I just don’t really FEEL 30, and I WISH I could fall asleep at 9 p.m. I wish.

Erica: And on to the…Well, I don’t really know what to do with the Golden Globes outfits this year. They’re all wearing black. Which, like, solidarity, sister, yay! But also, boring. But also, we are and always have been part of the problem, judging these women on how well they perform a very specific brand of femininity. On the other hand, it’s not like they’re wearing sackcloths now. They’re wearing the same superglam gowns and diamonds mined by poor children that they’ve always worn. Just, you know, black dresses.

Kate: I’m not going to comment on the movement itself, I am just super-bored by all the black dresses, and that’s coming from someone who loves wearing black, particularly black dresses.

Erica: But, many of them brought the fire tonight. Obviously the queen was Oprah, our next president. But we also had Debra Messing holding E!’s feet to the fire, and Natalie Portman pointing out the very masculine Best Director roster and Amy Poehler pwning Seth Meyers during his monologue. (Pwning, right? Am I internetting right?) So, umm…

Kate: I just had to Google “pwning”, so maybe I DO feel 30, and I also had to rewatch those 3 bits because I didn’t notice them during the telecast. Good for those ladies. Also, I am embarrassed that I didn’t know ahead of time about the everyone-wearing-black thing. Also also, I don’t understand why this movement meant no one could talk about the designers they were wearing IN ADDITION to the “Me Too” and Time’s Up” stuff. Did dozens and dozens of designers and stylists and seamstresses and other workers not spend a sh!tload of time on these black ensembles?! DO THEY NOT DESERVE CREDIT?!

Erica: Oh, and by the by, I know I have never seen any of the movies, etc., for any awards show, but this year, I’ve never even heard of most of these movies. But that’s cool.

Kate: Samesies.

Erica: Alright, well, dresses.

 

Alexis Bledel

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Kate: Even though everyone is doing these pants things, this feels dated to me. Like, didn’t Emma Stone kind of already wear this?

Erica: Oh, that is very similar. Although I like Alexis Bledel’s better. Well, maybe. I like the leafy thing she has better than the sparkles Emma Stone has, but also, I don’t love Alexis Bledel’s toreador belt. Or maybe I do. I am confused because I hate jumpsuits and I hate black-and-white formal wear but I like leafy things and not-boring things. But that belt looks like she’s going to trip on it.

Kate: But is it TOO much white for the everyone-wear-black thing? WHERE IS THE LINE, HOLLYWOOD?

Erica: I don’t know. Maybe she gets a pass because she was in A Handmaid’s Tale, that feminist-y blockbuster based on the feminist urtext by Margaret Atwood, and her character was significantly developed from the book in that she became a lesbian and was severely punished for it? I don’t know if I can give the lipstick a pass, though.

 

Alicia Vikander

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Erica: I saw she’s going to be Lara Croft in the reboot of the Lara Croft: Tomb Raider franchise, which is interesting to me because I’m old enough to remember that when Lara Croft: Tomb Raider, the video game, came out, everyone made a lot of noise about Lara Croft’s unrealistic body proportions, and then they cast Angelina Jolie in the movie and everyone was like, “Oh, okay, unrealistic body proportions except for Angelina Jolie.” Alicia Vikander doesn’t exactly have those proportions, but I’ve also heard rumors that millennials don’t like big boobs, or something.

Kate: I don’t know about all that, but when they said they were worried that the everyone-wearing-black thing would look too funeral (I looked it up), this is what they were talking about. I get how this could work on a runway, but on a lovely young girl on the red carpet of a major awards show? Notsomuch.

Erica: I guess I get how this could potentially work on a runway. Because on a runway you wouldn’t have done — or not done — your hair as if you were going to a funeral.

 

Alison Brie

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Erica: Alison Brie is nominated for her role in Netflix’s GLOW, which is about female wrestlers in the ‘80s. I’ve heard good things. Also feminist-y things. And she seems like a good egg. If you haven’t seen Sleeping with Other People, you should.

Kate: I just remember her as stupid Pete Campbell’s wife on Mad Men. She has gotten a bit too skinny for my taste.

Erica: Oh, I’ve been binging Community as my cooking/laundry/etc. show. I like her lots. Now, the outfit…I mean, she looks lovely but I hate pants/skirts. But maybe I hate pants/skirts because I’m married to a too-narrow definition of femininity.

Kate: It’s a huge Thing on the red carpet these days, and I don’t usually like it but I actually don’t mind this one, and the shoes look absolutely fab. So does the necklace. I do not like her hair at all. I have severe Bangs Issues from my childhood.

 

Allison Janney

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Kate: I actually really love this.

Erica: Yeah? I’m not a fan.

Kate: I love how she broke up the black without having too much not-black, and her hair looks simple yet lovely, as does her makeup.

Erica: I guess the dress is just not my thing. Yes, hair and makeup look good. And Allison Janney, you are and always will be my thing. It’s not just about The West Wing for me. I’ve loved you since 10 Things I Hate About You.

Kate: Yup, I’m doing it: BEST DRESSED NOMINEE! *Cue Erica’s shocked face*

Erica: I am, indeed, making a shocked face.

 

Amy Poehler

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Erica: I don’t even need to get into her feminist cred, right? She’s Amy Poehler. She Amy Poehlers about town, Amy Poehlering. She “called out” Seth Meyers for mansplaining their bit (which was of course part of the bit; I’m not trying to shade Seth Meyers here). She created Leslie Knope. And this. She is the very model of a modern female superstar. She rocks.

Kate: I don’t know if it was ALL part of the bit, though? It felt very awkward to me. Also, I can’t find a picture of her without this other lady in it, and her dress makes Amy’s dress look navy blue, not black. No?

Erica: She brought with her Saru Jayaraman, founder of Restaurant Opportunities Centers United, which is promoting fair wages for restaurant employees. Which may seem at first only tangentially related to Time’s Up, the specific organization with which actresses are aligning themselves by wearing all black tonight, but if we want to talk about an industry where sexual harassment and assault are RAMPANT, and the women being mistreated have very little recourse because they wouldn’t be waitresses if they didn’t need the money, hello, then let’s talk restaurants. So you go, Saru Jayaraman.

Kate: She still makes Amy’s dress look navy blue. It is pretty, though.

Erica: Okay, clothes. She looks fine. Could have used more makeup, I guess. But also she’s Amy Poehler and I’m not.

 

Angelina Jolie

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Kate: One wonders why she has chosen to show up to one of these things for the first time in years, but my first reaction to seeing her face on my screen was “Well damn, she still looks good.” Puffy 50s bathrobe sleeves aside.

Erica: Yeah, her face is gorgeous and her dress says “I’m ready for the Norma Desmond phase of my career now.” I don’t know what that’s about.

Kate: Mostly I just love the makeup.

 

Caitriona Balfe

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Erica: So, I have not seen Outlander, of which she is the star, because I have not read Outlander, because it is very long and I understand there are upsetting things in it and I’m trying to keep my life 100% happy puppies and falling in love, preferably in the Cotswolds. But I am inclined to like her because she is one of the 300 signers of Time’s Up and I support the idea of Outlander even if I have not participated in it. Oh, and, also, apparently news that she is engaged was broken by her wearing her new sparkly bauble on the carpet tonight. But however. This dress looks to me like she still wanted to look “interesting” even if she did have to wear black and it is awful.

Kate: I had never heard of this person or that show before writing this post, and I do not like her dress one bit. The bodice, length, upper-arm ruffle bracelet things and jeweled straps all make me want to scream.

 

Catherine Zeta-Jones

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Kate: We had not seen her in such a long while but damn, she still looks great.

Erica: She does, she does. I miss her, I think. I would see a thing she was in. You know. If you’re listening, Hollywood.

Kate: She looks better in this lingerie-turned-dress than most ladies half her age would, and I love her subtle pop of (another dark) color with the green earrings. Really, really fab.

 

Christina Hendricks

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Kate: This is very similar to her Mad Men co-star Alison’s dress, no?

Erica: Very. Different necklines but otherwise quite the same.

Kate: She looks fantastic, as usual, but I think the pants are a bit too cropped and not tapered enough for the shoe/overall look.

Erica: I’m still not a fan of this concept.

 

Claire Foy

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Kate: Dammit, I keep thinking they make her look terrible on The Crown and that she is actually fabulous in real life, but this doesn’t prove that theory. The black pantsuit thing has been so done and these pants are way too baggy. Come to think of it, so is the jacket. And her hair is too slicked back.

Erica: The slicked hair would look fine if the jacket fit properly. But what is that on her wrist? It’s a badge of some kind but I can’t make it out. I assume it’s in support of something. Is it just a Time’s Up badge? Or is there a British equivalent of Time’s Up? Or is it something else entirely?

Kate: One wonders.

 

Dakota Johnson

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Kate: I hate this oh so much. That BELT? Where did she get it, Charlotte Russe?

Erica: I keep forgetting who she is. I mean, I know who she is when I see her face, I just forget that that’s her name.

Kate: And the back is so beauty pageant gone wrong. And does she always have to wear her hair like that? Hate hate hate. Worst Dressed nominee!

Erica: Her commitment to the low pony is astounding. Alas, I cannot give much feminist cred to the person who plays Anabella Swansteele. I mean, I know it’s not really her fault. An actress has got to act, and all. But still.

 

Debra Messing

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Kate: This is also very terrible. The cat eye is too catty, the hair is too red (it has a nice wave to it, though) and the dress-pants thing is terrible. Very unflattering around the hip area. Another Worst Dressed nominee.

Erica: Well, I hate the outfit and the eye makeup is a bit much but I love the hair (don’t mind the too-redness) and I love the “Hey, E!, how come you don’t pay your female cast as much as your male cast?” red carpet moment.

 

Elisabeth Moss

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Kate: This is very pilgrim-y, in a bad way, and you know how I feel about that length on the red carpet! Elisabeth! Hey, did you know that she’s a scientologist? I didn’t until last night.

Erica: I think it’s one of those things I hear and forget about her regularly. Man, that’s weird. How’s she making TV about weird-@ss cults and then being in a weird-@ss cult and not noticing? And how do you show up to the Globes in an outfit Serena Joy might wear to something way less formal than the Globes if, in addition to wanting to model some retrograde, prim, uber-Christy form of Christianity, she also wanted to not be fabulous anymore?

 

Emilia Clarke

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Kate: So, it’s kind of true what they say: She looks best as Daenerys. She looks weird when she is not Daenerys. She is also making a weird face here. And she recently chopped off all her hair, so it’s in that weird-growing-back phase. The dress and necklace are nice, though; I actually like the very structured strapless V + bow. You probably don’t, though?

Erica: Oh, no, I don’t mind it. The only thing I don’t like about her look here is the hair.

 

Emma Stone

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Kate: Another one I can’t find a photo of alone on the red carpet, what’s going on people?

Erica: I think it’s your sources; Emma was there. With Billie Jean King, who I believe she plays in that movie she’s in with Steve Carell? And who also does activism stuff.

Kate: Anyway, this is boring and ugly, and when they zoomed in on her face several times during the show I thought her makeup looked absolutely dreadful — eyeshadow too green, lipstick too purple.

Erica: Oh, in pictures in the sunlight I think it looks nice. The makeup, I mean. I don’t know what’s going on with the bottom of her dress.

Kate: So for me, that begs the age-old question: Should celebrities dress for these things for the PHOTOS, for the LIVE TELECAST, for the IN-PERSON-ness, or what? Clearly they all require different levels of hair, makeup and dress.

 

Emma Watson

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Kate: And…yet…another…person…WITHOUT A SOLO PHOTO ON THE RED CARPET! Is this part of the “movement”?!

Erica: Yeah. She showed up with Marai Larasi, executive director of Imkaan, a UK-based organization dedicated to ending violence against black, minority, and/or refugee women and girls. She also co-chairs the End Violence Against Women Coalition. Apparently Michelle Williams had the idea of actresses bringing activists to highlight the activists’ work, and look, it’s working. Good job, actresses, and good job, activists.

Kate: So I think THAT does more than wearing black because then we Google who their guests are and consequently know more about their organizations. I just want some solo shots, too. Anyway, this is not boring but it is ugly, and I hate hate hate her hair. Bangs should never be that short. And does she always wear that shade of lipstick, or what?

Erica: It is an ugly ensemble, and the bangs are weird. And yet, she is still lovely.

 

Gal Gadot

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Kate: She is truly on another level of beauty, but I feel like I only ever see her with her hair like this when it is more than gorgeous enough to be down and loose and wavy, and the mini-jacket over the tight dress makes me feel like she’s going to an expensive restaurant for a lunch meeting rather than the Globes.

Erica: I don’t mind the hair. I don’t much like the outfit. But she is so damn beautiful.

Kate: But…Has red lipstick ever looked better on anyone? Nope.

Erica: Has humanity ever looked better on anyone? Nope.

Kate: Nope.

 

Geena Davis

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Kate: What was going on with her and Susan Sarandon when they were presenting? Did they beef after Thelma & Louise?

Erica: Yeah, that was weird. There’s a concept in improv that Tina Fey has made well known called “Yes, and,” that’s basically about, your performing partner is your partner and you should build the performance together instead of being in opposition. Susan Sarandon seemed like she was kind of in opposition to Geena Davis. I don’t know if it was the lines as written or Susan Sarandon’s delivery. Or maybe I’m just mad at Susan Sarandon still. Maybe Geena is, too.

Kate: I actually like Geena’s dress a lot better than most of the others tonight, but I feel like that lacey neckline has been done a LOT and I don’t like the lace + fringe + sparkle — pick ONE. Or maybe two. Not all three!

Erica: I feel like she, specifically, has done this before. I would say go lace and sparkle, Geena. The fringe is not good.

 

Greta Gerwig

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Kate: A pretty yet safe, therefore boring, choice; it’s not doing all that much for me in either direction (positive or negative). The chunky gold necklace breaks up the black nicely, though; I just don’t like her hair.

Erica: I only put her in because I really want to see Lady Bird.

Kate: Samesies.

 

Halle Berry

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Kate: She is obviously one of the most gorgeous people to have ever lived, but this is so inappropriately short for the Golden Globes I just cannot even.

Erica: It’s a very strangely structured dress for her body type, too, because she’s got a sort of athletic build which makes the shape of it look like something you’d wear if you were a warrior in a Xena: Warrior Princess-y movie, but in black lace.

Kate: Her hair is also — don’t kill me for saying this — too young for her. It would look better in a slick medium-height pony.

Erica: I won’t because by “too young” you mean that hairstyle is best suited to people who have yet to be given legal permission to drink. She’s still so beautiful, though.

 

Issa Rae

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Kate: That leg slit is very Angelina Jolie, so I am automatically skeptical of it. I think I would like this without the sleeve decoration and cape, and necklace, but I also think the shoes are too delicate for the dress/person.

Erica: OMG you’re right I forgot about that dress. Her smile might be the best smile in show biz, though.

 

Jennifer Aniston

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Kate: There are some people who probably didn’t love the all-black thing on a fashion level and some who were like “YESSSSSSSSSSSS!” and I think Jennifer Aniston was part of the latter group. She probably would have worn this anyway.

Erica: Totes. They had the meeting and she was like, “Okay, so, normal day for me? Great.”

Kate: Exactly! Hair is a weeeee bit too messy, otherwise gorgeous.

Erica: Hair also looks a little too light. Was there a weird thing with her and Carol Burnett at the podium? I’m seeing headlines but no video.

Kate: It was just awkward. Everything everyone said all night was awkward.

 

Jessica Biel

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Kate: Her arms are everything I want in my life.

Erica: They are impressive.

Kate: I think I would like this more without that swoopy sash across the front, but then would it be too boring? I very, very much do not like her hair.

Erica: It would be somewhat more boring but still better, I think.

 

Jessica Chastain

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Kate: Um, wow. Wow wow wow. She is sort of hit or miss at these things but I think she chose perfectly — not too much black, sparkle on fleek, hair and makeup perfection. Best Dressed nominee!

Erica: So…Okay. It’s fine. Hair is perfect. I am not super in love with the dress. I feel like the shape of the top is very Speedo-in-sequins. But. I mean. It’s fine.

Kate: What!? Crazy talk.

 

Kate Hudson

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Kate: This is…interesting…but…I don’t think I like it? I definitely don’t like the necklace, it’s not necessary. Let the neckline speak for itself. And I don’t like her new very short hair and I’m not sure why she did that to herself. There’s also a headband in there somewhere; completely unnecessary.

Erica: This is a big no from me. I get that we’re making a stand against sexaul discrimination, but that dress looks like it didn’t all make it out of Harvey Weinstein’s hotel room. I’m sorry. That joke is wildly inappropriate. And yet I can’t stop myself from making it. I don’t mind the hair, though.

 

Kelly Clarkson

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Kate: Yikes.

Erica: That sleeve is pretty weird.

Kate: This is just too much dress, and the gold details are poorly done, like it was put together during a 1-hour mini-competition on Project Runway.

Erica: Actually, the construction looks pretty good, at least in the picture I’m looking at. The concept is just weird.

 

Kerry Washington

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Kate: I usually don’t like her red carpet looks at all, but I really loved this when I saw it on the show. It moved beautifully and had the perfect fit, and her hair was perfectly tousled. In this photo, I hate the shoes with it. A lot.

Erica: First, she is looking way skinny. Second, the dress is much nicer and more normal-human than she usually wears. Third, I hate the shoes so much. But you know what? I hate them as much as I normally hate her red carpet fashion, and they are just a teeny-tiny portion of it.

 

Laura Dern

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Kate: This is interesting, to say the least, and I think I like it. I definitely like the loose wavy hair, but I’m not sure it goes with this dress, ya know?

Erica: The dress is not my thing but it’s a very well-done version of the thing it is, although it does kind of illustrate that wearing all-black is not, like, prohibitive of looking like a regular red carpet walker. I think the hair is fine because I think every person has to decide: are they Wearing a Dress or Committing to a Look? You can do either one, but you have to do one or the other. The loose waves with this dress means she’s Wearing a Dress, not Committing to a Look.

 

Maggie Gyllenhaal

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Kate: You can’t even really tell that this has sparkles, asymmetrical fringe AND pants unless you look really closely. I hate it. So many people did this look for the everyone-wear-black party, and I really don’t like it.

Erica: I kind of think everyone should have gone with a black men’s suit so that it would look like a thing. Now these weird-length jumpsuits are almost their own thing and they are not a good thing.

 

Margot Robbie

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Kate: So I think this is TOO much not-black, and I don’t even like the not-black parts anyway. From the waist up, it’s lovely; everything else is poo.

Erica: Oh, I’m not into the shoulder-pad look.

 

Mariah Carey

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Kate: Common was so terrified of her during their award presentation, which is so funny; he obviously watched Mariah’s World and knew not to mess. This is actually a pretty safe choice for her; I don’t love the strap across the chest, but without it it’d be a very boring strapless black mermaid-style dress, so fine.

Erica: Yeah, I think it looks nice and the major problem with strap is that it’s too high above her boobs and it looks a little awkward. It should be thicker and/or lower. But overall it looks nice.

 

Meryl Streep

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Kate: I am pretty sure she wears this to literally every single award show.

Erica: Yeah, that’s just her dress. She has it in the closet for Wearing to Award Shows. Then she puts it back. Now, she’s with Ai-Jen Poo, director of the National Domestic Workers Alliance and she’s also a MacArthur Genius. Poo led the passage of the Domestic Workers Bill of Rights in New York State, so that’s pretty cool.

Kate: But…Her last name is Poo. (See? Not feeling 30.)

 

Michelle Williams

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Kate: I feel like this SHOULD have looked good, but it didn’t. Something is off and I just can’t put my finger on it.

Erica: I am not sure what should have looked good. I don’t like it. Also she looks crazy pale. I mean, I’m a pale woman myself, and I’m not saying she should fry herself or anything but, man. Pale.

Kate: I do think that neckline with that hair required some more interesting jewelry, though.

Erica: She’s with Tarana Burke, the woman who is often uncredited with having started #MeToo, and she is currently the director of Girls for Gender Equity, a NYC organization that aims to help communities “remove barriers and create opportunities for girls and women to live self-determined lives.” So. Another awesome woman getting well-deserved publicity for her important work.

Kate: Woo!

 

Natalie Portman

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Kate: Her face is one of the most lovely, but this is just another velvet pilgrim dress. Do not like.

Erica: Yeah, I do like that she called out the phallocentric director nominees and also that she is beautiful and smart, but this dress is very “I’m going to a funeral at the Ren Faire.”  

 

Nicole Kidman

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Kate: I like this much better in this photo than I did during the show, except for the back. The only lace needed is at the very top of the sleeves, more than that and it’s just too much.

Erica: Oh, I like the back. I feel like she’d been getting so weird lately and this is finally something I could have pictured the old Nicole in.

Kate: Hair and makeup great, though, as usual.

 

Octavia Spencer

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Kate: This is very, very pretty and looks lovely on her, especially with the hair and makeup, but, again, this length! Not appropriate! Even if we are all wearing black and there are only so many black evening gowns in the world!

Erica: See, I usually hate this length, but I think she looks good in it. Is it because she is larger? Does this length look good on larger ladies? Should I be wearing this length? I shudder. Then I laugh because I am a stay-at-home mom with a 16-month-old kid. I wear yoga pants.

Kate: I’m not saying she doesn’t look good in it, I’m saying it doesn’t look good at this event. It’s not appropriate!

 

Oprah

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Kate: Honestly? Probably one of the best dresses of the night. I also love the voluminous hair and sparkly glasses — why do some people look so good in glasses, even when dressed up at award shows?

Erica: Yeah, she looks absolutely amazing. And she knows it, too. That dress is perfection, her hair is fantastic, and her skin is flawless. She’s gotta have a hideously aging portrait of herself in her attic. Or maybe not. Maybe she’s truly living her best life and it’s just showing in her complexion.

 

Penelope Cruz

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Kate: Um, gorgeous. This is how you do everyone-is-wearing-black but still stand out. Love it love it love it, Best Dressed nominee! I don’t even NEED to comment on the hair and makeup. Because DUH.

Erica: I feel like I’ve seen this dress before but also it looks amazing.

Kate: …Yes, because everyone is wearing some version of it.

 

Reese Witherspoon

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Kate: Another person who I feel like this is what they would have worn anyway, everyone-wear-black or not. It’s very pretty and looks well made and suits her body well, but I did not like her hair or makeup. A simple dress like that deserves more interesting hair, and honestly during the telecast it looked like she wasn’t wearing enough makeup. I don’t feel good saying that, but it’s the truth.

Erica: Well, but I think she’s trying to be more in the spirit of the thing? Yes, dress is red carpet appropriate, but I’m not making a big deal of performing my femininity here; I’m just showing up to a formal work function? Plus am I crazy or is she one of the major drivers of Time’s Up? Anyway, I think she looks fine.

Kate: She is. Being passionate about a movement does not mean you shouldn’t look as nice as possible.

 

Roseanne Barr

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Kate: Um, wow? She looks really good? I’m kind of, like, blown away by how good she looks.

Erica: She really does.

Kate: It’s a perfect dress for her, and I really like her hair coloring and makeup. I also had no idea they were reviving Roseanne — are there no new ideas anymore? It’s just the Century of Revivals of TV Shows and Movies?

Erica: Yes. But also. I have to link to my friend Jenny Trout’s column about her. Because I thought I was in favor of Roseanne but maybe I’m not.

 

Salma Hayek

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Kate: Oh god, this looked so very uncomfortable that when I saw her on stage it made me start to itch. So tight! So neoprene! Like a wetsuit with a skirt!

Erica: I have claustrophobia issues. This dress makes me feel like I can’t breathe.

Kate: I also hate the hair. It looks like she did nothing to it after waking up with it in a messy bun on top of her head all night. Why is this somewhat-wet-hair look coming back?

Erica: See, in some pictures it looks good and in others it looks a little bedraggled.

Kate: I do like the necklace, though. A lot.

 

Saoirse Ronan

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Kate: This is not my style at all but I think it really works on her, personality and physique-wise. The jewelry is fantastic, too.

Erica: Yeah, it’s not my thing but it’s a perfect example of the thing it is.

Kate: Also, how Jessica Chastain pronounced her name when she won cannot be right: Sher-sha?! SHER-SHA?!

Erica: Yeah, that’s it. Saoirse Ronan did a whole bit about it on SNL.

Kate: Oh, whoops. Sorry, Jessica.

 

Sarah Jessica Parker

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Kate: I normally love her, so it hurts to do this, but…Completely inappropriate length, too much going on in the dress and her hair color looks cheap. Good shoes, though; probably from her line.

Erica: I feel like we love her but also bag on her red carpet looks a lot. And this is the opposite of Saoirse or Laura Dern, in that it is my thing, or would be, if it were done better. If the top were a little higher so it didn’t actively make her boobs droop. If the netting at the sleeves didn’t look so cheap. If the skirt were pressed. If her hair and makeup were better and she threw on a necklace. And so on.

Kate: I feel like we love her because we see her as Carrie Bradshaw (not that Carrie was a loveable person, she actually kind of sucked), so our love for SatC clouds our judgment of SJP the person.

 

Sarah Paulson

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Kate: In terms of making the everyone-wear-black thing more interesting and fun for me to look at, this is one of my favorites. I do not like her hair at all, though; too blunt.

Erica: Yeah, it’s not bad. It would be nice if something had happened to her hair. It very much looks like she ran some distracted fingers through it while it was still half wet on the way out the door.

Kate: That is what I meant by the somewhat-wet-hair trend coming back. Do not like.

 

Shailene Woodley

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Kate: What we have here is a sparkly plaid turtleneck with a poofy skirt AND A BELT. Worst Dressed, no doubt about it.

Erica: I don’t even understand. Maybe, like, there were two dress bags, and one was for the 87-year-old grandma you were supposed to take, and one was for the talented young star you are, and then the grandma couldn’t come so you grabbed a dress bag and boarded a plane and only when you arrived at home, mere minutes before you had to hit the carpet, did you discover you had the wrong dress? Because then I’d understand.

 

Susan Sarandon

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Kate: I actually liked that her hair was in a pony during the show, but it doesn’t look so good from the front, and this is another ill-fitting pantsuit. Ladies, just because we are all wearing some form of black does not mean we all have to look bad! Black usually looks nice! Come on!

Erica: Pantsuits can even look great! But not when you borrow the one your somewhat portly nephew wore for his bar mitzvah. But honestly, Susan, I can’t even look at you anymore. Sorrynotsorry. I’ll look at your guest instead, one Rosa Clemente, who doesn’t seem to have a specific organization right now — she is described on her website as “an Afro-Latinx political commentator, community organizer, independent journalist, and 2008 Green Party Vice-Presidential candidate” — but came as Susan Sarandon’s guest to raise awareness about how truly, truly terrible things are in Puerto Rico, a problem she’s documenting through her PR on the Map program. (And listen, I don’t mean to be a jerk about this, but if you want to help Puerto Rico with something other than getting Rosa Clemente’s cameras on the ground to document their misery, donate to the AFT’s Operation Agua. They need water.) They also talked up Time’s Up’s legal defense fund for women who can’t afford to prosecute their harassers.

 

Viola Davis

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Kate: One of the more boring black dress choices, and she tried to spice it up with the necklace — which is too sparkly and has too many layers — and hair. I almost think it would have been better with the hair and dress as is, and no necklace? Or a more delicate one? IDK anymore.

Erica: Oh, I disagree. I like the hair; I like the necklace. I’m fine with all of it.

Kate: So, with Worst Dressed obviously being Shailene Woodley (despite a ton more than usual to choose from), who does Best Dressed go to?

Erica: Oprah. I think hands down.

Kate: I’m good with that. We will see YOU at the SAGs, people! (I wish we would actually see people AT the SAGs, but alas, we’ll be here, on our couches, and in WordPress.)

Emmys 2017

Kate: Well, this snuck up on us now didn’t it?!

Erica: Everything in my life is sneaking up on me. I feel like I am being hit by a never-ending series of steam trains.

Kate: It’s because we are usually done with SYTYCD at this point, but Fox is messing with our minds/schedules.

Erica: Sure. Let’s blame Fox. I didn’t watch the Emmys. I will, as soon as I have thirty seconds, watch Stephen Colbert’s opening monologue, because he’s wonderful. But I’m just looking at pictures.

Kate: I actually feel a bit out of it this year in terms of Emmy nominees, but not in terms of the fashion. I am always into the fashion. And with that…

 

Anna Chlumsky

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Kate: Oooooh! She is normally quite the mess at these things, but I love this dress. Sparkly/chrome-y mermaid-chic.

Erica: Holy moly. She looks good! I can’t believe she looks this good!

Kate: If the dress had been all the same color/material as the top or all the same color/material as the skirt, it would not have worked. Together, it works.

Erica: I mean, this is not my number one thing, although I would have actually preferred a more smooth transition from top to bottom, but I just can’t believe that she’s shown up looking like a normal, pretty celebrity and not like an insane human with no concept of what human bodies look like or what is visually appealing.

Kate: I would have done a more interesting hairstyle than just slicked-back-straight (which really looks like half-up in this photo), but overall I’m really happy with this.

 

Anna Faris

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Kate: I am so, so sad about her and Chris Pratt.

Erica: I know. Love is dead. It doesn’t exist. I knew it when Amy Poehler and Will Arnett broke up. But now I really know it.

Kate: I can tell she doesn’t even want to be here because she is sad as well, probably sadder than I am. (Also, she didn’t do the red carpet.)

Erica: She looks very beautiful. Very tiny. But very beautiful.

Kate: I do like this dress, though; that shade of pinky-purple, even with the red-ish sparkle, works well against her fair skin and hair. That being said, I don’t love the hair with the dress.

Erica: Well, the hair feels a little phoned in. But the color, which I usually prefer on brunettes, looks terrific. Plus she gets to stand next to Allison Janney so that’s a pretty good day.

 

Ariel Winter

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Kate: Oh my god, she’s naked. Why is she naked?

Erica: She usually goes pretty sexual. That’s a lot of leg.

Kate: She’s so pretty but this is really freaking me out. Those slits are way too high!

Erica: And these were not subtle, you-only-see-them-when-I-move slits. These were the kind of slits that were more present than the skirt.

 

Claire Foy

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Kate: Is that…Queen Elizabeth?! I almost didn’t recognize her!

Erica: Did you watch that show? Can we have many conversations about it? Can we talk about how both Prince Phillip and not-King-Edward whine A LOT about things that are the obvious and natural consequences of decisions they themselves made wholeheartedly?

Kate: Yes I like that show a lot. Season 2 is coming semi-soon! But I don’t like this pantsuit with the half-cape thing and silver knot. Not at all. She is pretty, this is not.

Erica: I hate all of the things happening on this outfit. All of them. I like the person in the outfit. But I hate the outfit.

 

Debra Messing

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Kate: So, Will & Grace is coming back. How about that?

Erica: I feel like maybe we are reaching peak revival time and should step back now. Hey, did you know Debra Messing is a Brandeis alum?

Kate: I did not! Her hair looks fantastic. But her eye makeup is too dark and something about her overall makeup on her face is off, and I really do not like the dress whatsoever. It looks like rubber, AND YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT BELTS.

Erica: The dress material is dreadful and overwhelming. The shape would be fine in another material. The hair is her hair which is great hair. But discussing anything about the look other than that fabric is very “But other than that, how did you like the play, Mrs. Lincoln?”

 

Elisabeth Moss

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Kate: The color of that dress with the color of her hair and her skin is just not good.

Erica: I don’t know that I mind that so much. I mean, it’s not perfect, but I’m not terribly upset about it.

Kate: I also don’t like the length at all — it looks like it was supposed to be floor-length (in which case it would have been boring) and they literally just chopped it. Shoes are too matchy-matchy.

Erica: It looks way too young for her. And I mean that in a very non-bitchy way, because I think the very last day this look would be appropriate would be your Sweet 16.

 

Ellie Kemper

emmys 17 ellie kemper.jpg

Kate: Ugh, I still have not finished the latest season of Kimmy Schmidt! Who/what am I turning into?

Erica: It was good but not great.

Kate: I love this, though. It’s a modern, bedazzled version of a kimono, but not in a bad way. It looks great on her — the color, the sparkle, even the slightly mussy updo. I especially love the pink earrings; they really pop against the blueness dress in the most perfect way. (This picture doesn’t do it justice; it looked phenomenal during the preshow.)

Erica: I like it but I don’t love it. I think the sheerness is too sheer such that the difference between the skirt and the bodice is too stark, and then the sheerness on the bottom looks weird with shoes. I think there should be more glittery stuff on the bottom to mask the shoes. I do, however, like the colorful beading and the overall color and silhouette on her.

Kate: I swear, it’s just a bad photo that is not doing it justice.

 

Emmy Rossum

emmys 17 emmy rossum.jpg

Kate: Perfection, as usual. Looking a little Anne Hathaway-esque, no?

Erica: For me, this is a little boring. Beautiful, but boring. Her eye makeup game is perfection, though.

 

Evan Rachel Wood

emmys 17 evan rachel wood.jpg

Kate: Has she ever NOT worn a tuxedo-like thing on the red carpet?

Erica: I think it’s her thing now. I have to say, this might be my favorite iteration.

Kate: I think it’s her thing always, which is ok, because she looks good in them. I love the color of this one, and her hair is in the perfect updo with perfect makeup. A tuxedo-like thing is almost never going to make it onto my Best Dressed list, though. Call me old-fashioned, but it’s the truth.

Erica: You are a little old-fashioned. I’m quite impressed with this look.

 

Gina Rodriguez

emmys 17 gina rodriguez.jpg

Kate: She looks pretty, but this is just too beauty pageant-y. Just too.

Erica: I have been told I should watch her show. I really hate this dress but I’m sure her show is good.

 

Heidi Klum

emmys 17 heidi klum.jpg

Kate: Ok so it’s NOT crazy like the Big Bird outfit or the lavender monstrosity, and I like her hair like that, but this dress is very I’m-at-a-private-dinner-at-a-super-fabulous-resort-in-Mexico. And it’s good for that, but the Emmys are not a private dinner at a fancy resort in Mexico.

Erica: Yeah, I would say, I’m into the hair but the dress is…If even I think there’s too much boob, there’s too much boob.

Kate: I am also NOT into the enormous bangles covering half her arms and the hoop earrings down to her shoulders. Tacky.

Erica: Oh, I kind of am into them. For a fancy resort in Mexico.

Kate: Which this is not!

 

Jane Krakowski

emmys 17 jane krakowski.jpg

Kate: Va-va-voom!

Erica: I mean, the dress, yes, but also that bob looks perfection.

Kate: This is very wonderful and very much a LOOK with the straight sleek angled bob and and deep V and blackness of the dress. AND BEFORE YOU SAY ANYTHING, I know there is a little belt buckle there, but I think it is part of the dress and not an additional piece and therefore (mostly) acceptable. I would probably like the dress better without it, though.

Erica: Yeah, I understand the belt buckle thing but I wish it were not red. And I am not persuaded that it is necessary at all.

Kate: Also, when I was looking at E!’s red carpet coverage on their site, they had spelled her last name “Krasowski” at first, and I felt superior. Still kind of do.

 

Jessica Biel

emmys 17 jessica biel.jpg

Kate: Oh my, she is very teeny-tiny. I have always admired her for having the perfect body in terms of muscle tone and proportion, but she is a little on the skinny side for me right now. Lurve the dress, but it only works on her newly skinnier frame, I think. I also feel like the Fashion Police (the real ones, not us) will absolutely hate it because it looks “unfinished” or “too drapey” or “like 2 dresses slapped together”.

Erica: Oh I love so much this look. They would not be wrong about the two dresses, but I love the drape and I love the hair and I love the makeup and I love the softness.

Kate: Always great makeup with her. Hair is a bit poofy up top — this dress calls for something sleeker, I think — but overall a soft, lovely look.

Erica: I like it. I like the poofy. She looks like she’s the dream version of somebody’s crush object in a movie.

 

Julia Louis-Dreyfus

emmys 17 julia louis dreyfus.jpg

Kate: Julia you sexy little sneak, not doing the red carpet even though you KNEW you would be on stage because you KNEW you would win AGAIN!

Erica: Good on her. For winning, I mean. She really is the best. J is doing a whole re-watching of all of the Seinfelds (God bless you, Hulu, for the good work you do) and I don’t watch all of them but damn, she is wonderful.

Kate: While this is obviously part of her standard look, I like the pops of color with the golden embroidery and turquoise earrings, and I like that she did her hair a little looser/wilder than usual. She can just never do any wrong for me.

Erica: Yeah, this is one of my favorite iterations of her usual. I really love the gold embroidery.

 

Julie Bowen

emmys 17 julie bowen.jpg

Kate: I had no idea this was Julie Bowen at first. What has happened to her? Is she okay?

Erica: Her face does not look okay.

Kate: This dress — the color and the gigantic ruffle — is completely swallowing her. I hate it.

Erica: I mean, for her, it’s not bad. She’s definitely done worse.

 

Kate McKinnon

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Kate: Has she worn this before? Or something very similar? All they had to do was show the bottom of the dress and I had a feeling it was her.

Erica: I…There is something familiar here, yes. But I’m not sure it was her?

Kate: Regardless, she looks great. She has found what works on her and is sticking to it. Her hair looks very elegant; makeup and jewelry are perfectly understated. Best Dressed nominee?

Erica: Oh, I don’t know. She looks good but uninteresting.

 

Kiernan Shipka

emmys 17 kiernan shipka.jpg

Kate: Mad Men is OVER, what is she still doing here?

Erica: I mean, I hope she has a good reason to be here.

Kate: Sorry, that came out angrier than I intended. Oh, she was in Feud, so that’s why. This is very princessy and cute. I don’t like her hair.

Erica: This is strangely young for her. It looks like something she would have worn to one of her first Emmys. I don’t much like it but I don’t hate it.

 

Laverne Cox

emmys 17 laverne cox.jpg

Kate: Ian and I were not impressed with the last season of OITNB, thus we have not watched the newest one, but that will not stop me from reviewing the show’s stars’ fashion. This is fabulous as usual from Laverne.

Erica: I did not like this season. I knew it was going to be hard for me to like a season that did not have Poussey. But also, what OITNB was good at was taking these characters who would be so easy to dismiss as nothing more than jailbirds and making them real people. This past season, they mostly made them jokes. It was a betrayal of the premise.

Kate: Yikes. The only thing I don’t really like/don’t think goes with the rest of the dress is the straps.

Erica: Oh, yeah, because they are ruffly and the dress has the geometric thing going. It’s too bad because the silhouette looks stunning on her and, for my personal taste, I’d rather that the dress go with the sleeves than that the sleeves go with the dress. I also don’t love the deep-roots hair look but I have obviously lost that fashion battle.

 

Lea Michele

emmys 17 lea michele.jpg

Kate: Ugh, I just said during Debra Messing’s critique that I hate belts, and then my fave Brad Goreski had to go and style Lea with a belt. Dammit, Brad!

Erica: Dammit, Brad! It’s a bad use of belt, too.

Kate: I like the rest of the dress, though, even though it’s a print (kind of). Good color. She still takes herself too seriously.

Erica: I like the color a lot, and I like the color on her. I do not like the hair. And also, isn’t Glee off the air? What is she still doing here?

Kate: Brad keeps styling her, so she keeps showing up to these events.

 

Leslie Jones

emmys 17 leslie jones.jpg

Kate: With her build I probably would have gone with something a little simpler and sleeker. This just has way too much going on with the sparkle and the sheer and the slit and the long earrings.

Erica: I feel like it’s just bordering on an ice dancer dress. Although that could be fixed by just taking the sheer panel off the top. And, again, I think the super sheer skirt with the shoes just looks weird. But I like the femininity for her.

 

Mandy Moore

emmys 17 mandy moore.jpg

Kate: Nope. Nope, nope nope.

Erica: Oooh I hate this so much in its entirety except maybe the pop of pink lip.

Kate: She is either super-amazing or super-awful on the red carpet, there is no in between with her. I hate this so much. It’s the top of a Jessica McClintock prom dress circa 2005 with the skirt of an unfinished ballet costume over the underskirt of a Gone with the Wind Halloween costume.

Erica: I hate this dress. A lot.

Kate: Just nope. Worst Dressed nominee.

 

Michelle Pfeiffer

emmys 17 michelle pfeiffer.jpg

Kate: Stephanie Zinone coming out of the woodwork here, eh? Why is she there all of a sudden?

Erica: Isn’t she married to someone? Like, a business side guy?

Kate: Oh, she was in The Wizard of Lies about Madoff. Well, she looks quite nice, a little bit like Kelly Ripa but softer/less scary-skinny. I really like what she’s doing with her hair.

Erica: I don’t like the dress, though. Tea length. Long sleeve. High neck. Weird waist. Not for me.

Kate: Not for YOU, for Stephanie Zinone!

 

Nicole Kidman

emmys 17 nicole kidman.jpg

Kate: This feels a bit too Oscars for me, even with the shorter length. She looks absolutely stunning in red, I just don’t think it fits the occasion, especially next to her Big Little Lies co-star Reese Witherspoon, who is wearing a short dark turquoise blazer-dress.

Erica: I like it.

Kate: I also don’t like the silver things dangling from the neck — designer, you could have done the gown without them. (They looked worse during the preshow than in this photo.)

Erica: Maybe it’s because of those stupid f-ing parrots at last year’s SAG Awards, but this, I think looks so good on her and so lovely.

Kate: Perfect hair and makeup and jewelry. I don’t even mind that the lipstick matches the dress so perfectly.

 

Priyanka Chopra

emmys 17 priyanka chopra.jpg

Kate: I get that this is super high-fashion and couture and all that jazz, and I even kind of like it (on her), but I can’t help but sweat just looking at her. How is she not overheating?

Erica: No, I hate it a lot.

Kate: Her hair and makeup and jewelry are always fabulous, so no complaints there. Just…So sweaty.

Erica: Hate it. Hate feathers. Hate high necks and long sleeves and weird, not-working-together-at-all bling on the collar and sleeve with the bling all over. Hate.

 

Rashida Jones

emmys 17 rashida jones.jpg

Kate: Wow. Very, very beautiful.

Erica: I love the color and cut of it. I wish there was not that weird space between her boobs and her midriff.

Kate: That’s because you hate cutouts, but I think it works here. I really am not into bangs, but I know it’s her thing, and I like them a lot better with this slightly shorter haircut. The dress reminds me of something Mila Kunis wore many years ago, and the whole look is very softer-side-of-Cleopatra. Best Dressed nominee!

Erica: Yes. I knew there was someone with a similar dress. I support the bangs on her; I’m assuming there’s something awful about her forehead.

Kate: In the episodes of The Office that she’s on, when her bangs are pushed back away from her face, it really does look odd.

 

Reese Witherspoon

emmys 17 reese witherspoon.jpg

Kate: I just watched Sweet Home Alabama for the 785th time, and she was just on Watch What Happens Live promoting her new movie Home Again, and I just never stop loving her. She’s so darling.

Erica: Oh, yeah, we watched her on that. She and Candice Bergen both obviously thought that Andy Cohen was an idiot.

Kate: THEY DID NOT AND HE IS NOT! I’m not super into this look, especially since her hair extensions don’t look well done, but I like that she did something out of her comfort zone and far from her usual red carpet look. It just doesn’t look that good.

Erica: I like the color a lot and I think it’s cut well and fits great. It’s just kinda weird. I’m not super into it. Love her, though.

 

Regina King

emmys 17 regina king.jpg

Kate: Wow, I kind of love this? Not her hair, at least not in this photo, but the dress is great. Even though it’s a print! See, I’m growing as a person.

Erica: I like the dress but why is everyone doing that thing with their hair? The slick on top, sort of half wavy on the bottom thing? I don’t like it.

Kate: Nor do I.

 

Sarah Hyland

emmys 17 sarah hyland.jpg

Kate: This is perhaps the most awkwardly placed and shaped cutout I have ever seen. Do you hate it extra much?

Erica: Yes. I hate it as much as I hate all the cutouts, plus this one is extra weird.

Kate: I also hate the leaf print, the color(s) and whatever odd makeup/surgical things she has done to her face. And I am disappointed to learn that Brad Goreski styled her as well. Maybe he’s not actually my favorite?

Erica: Yeah, she’s WAY too young to make you wonder who did her work.

 

Sarah Paulson

emmys 17 sarah paulson.jpg

Kate: I find this to be as daring and high-fashion and couture as Priyanka Chopra’s dress, and I think it looks equally hot and sweaty in there.

Erica: Hate. Hate. Hate it all. Hate it so much. Worst Dressed nominee.

Kate: I don’t like the length, but I like the short low pony and I LOVE the makeup. Love.

Erica: Hate.

 

Shailene Woodley

emmys 17 shailene woodley.jpg

Kate: I honestly could start to like this dress if I tried, even though I don’t like velvet, but I can’t because the awful hair and makeup are way too distracting.

Erica: Her hair is really distractingly awful. The dress, I feel, is fine. Not good. Just fine.

Kate: I do not think she is aging well. I KNOW SHE IS STILL YOUNG, I just mean, I don’t think she is looking better as she gets past each birthday, as many normal human beings do. I think she is looking worse and worse.

Erica: I feel like maybe it’s that she doesn’t wear makeup well. And she wears her hair stupidly.

 

Sofia Vergara

emmys 17 sofia vergara.jpg

Kate: My dislike for her decreased recently after watching Hot Pursuit (another reason I continue to love Reese Witherspoon) — it was actually, like, laugh-out-loud funny. It’s not hard to make me laugh out loud, but I was pleasantly surprised.

Erica: Huh. I did not have any urge to watch it but that is quite an endorsement.

Kate: I mean, it’s silly, but who cares? Anyway, this dress is very Sofia — like, she maybe has worn this exact thing before in many different colors — but the hair is not. I do not like the bangs at all, but I like that she went for a high pony. The earrings are too heavy and dark for the rest of the look.

Erica: I feel like this dress is her thing and it’s a good example of her thing. I do like the hair but I do not like the earrings.

Kate: I also think a paler, nuder lip would have gone better with the bright white gown. More elegant.

 

Susan Sarandon

emmys 17 susan sarandon.jpg

Kate: I mean, she looks like her. Dressed-up her. She almost always wears this dress in navy blue or black, right?

Erica: I’m mad at her right now. I mean, she looks fine. But I’m mad.

Kate: Care to elaborate?

Erica: She was a never Hillary person who was all, “Well, if the revolution comes as a result of Trump winning this election, then great! Bring on the revolution.” And that’s all I want to say about that.

 

Uzo Aduba

emmys 17 uzo aduba.jpg

Kate: This looks quite bad.

Erica: The dress is not good. I don’t like whatever is happening at her waist.

Kate: I don’t like the white, I don’t like the silver vertical stripes, I don’t like that it’s 2 pieces, I don’t like any of it at all.

Erica: I like her hair like that.

 

Vanessa Bayer

emmys 17 vanessa bayer.jpg

Kate: Her hair and makeup and jewelry all look great, and I suppose the silhouette of the gown is ok, but, again, I hate the print. A lot. It looks like curtains. In a really old, ugly house.

Erica: I think it looks like what the teacher chaperone wears to the prom. Well, the young, single teacher. Who is hoping the recently divorced head of the English department notices her.

 

Viola Davis

emmys 17 viola davis.jpg

Kate: Oooh I LOVE that color!!!

Erica: Yes! And it is only good for women of her hue.

Kate: The dress silhouette is a safe choice and also her usual taste, but I feel like we have not really seen this color on the carpet ever before, and I’m all for it.

Erica: She has a thing and she does it well. In this case, very, very well.

Kate: Alas, Best Dressed?

Erica: God, I don’t know. Even the people I liked weren’t that interesting. Except Evan Rachel Wood, but I respect your No-Non-Dresses-on-the-Best-Dressed rule. Maybe Jessica Biel? Who do you want to give it to?

Kate: You know what, let’s give it to Evan Rachel Wood! (I said a tuxedo-like thing is ALMOST never going to make it onto my Best Dressed list. This moment is almost never.) Worst?

Erica: SARAH PAULSON I HATE IT SO MUCH I HATE IT.

Kate: Oh, no, I don’t hate it as much as you do. Shailene Woodley?

Erica: I don’t hate that nearly as much as I hate Sarah Paulson’s. Priyanka Chopra or Mandy Moore?

Kate: OH yes, Mandy! See you at the Globes, folks!

Emmys 2015

Kate: Fashion Police on E! is back, and SO ARE WE with the 67th annual Primetime Emmy Awards!

Erica: Yeah, we’re back from the not-even-a-week-long hiatus we took between SYTYCD and this.

Kate: I’m curious as to why E! didn’t ask us to replace Kelly Osbourne and Kathy Griffin.

Erica: Please. We are way too classy.

Kate: Well put your mittens around your kittens and AWAY we GO!

Allison Janney
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Erica: I love Allison Janney so very much. And I love this dress.
Erica: It reminded me of an Alice Temperley collection I loved a while back, but, you know, shiny, and formal. And I thought it was just the right mix of classy and sexy for this occasion/person.
Kate: It’s pretty sexy for an older gal, but I think she looks great.

Amy Poehler

Generated by  IJG JPEG Library

Generated by IJG JPEG Library

Kate: Solid basic black choice, but what has she done to her hair?

Erica: I kind of like it.

Kate: I want to like it, but it’s throwing me off. I think I have to sit with it for a little while.

Erica: That’s okay. I understand. Change is hard.

Kate: I do not have to sit with those crazy rubbery bracelets, though; they suck. But, she’s Amy Poehler, and Parks & Rec was such an amazing treat for the world, and she looks like she does not give one f*ck, as usual, so WHATEVER! Yay Amy!

Erica: I feel like, as with most of the people this time around, the ensemble is fine. Not exciting, not beautiful, but not dreadful either. Fine. Also, yes, Parks & Rec <3, and also yes, not giving a f*ck, yay!

Amy Schumer

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Generated by IJG JPEG Library

Kate: Ok, I love this color. A lot. I want to emphasize that.

Erica: Yes. The dress itself is fine and the color is lovely.

Kate: However. I HATE the hair, and think the eye makeup is way too dark. I’ve been watching a lot of her show and she always pokes fun at herself for not being that pretty/skinny/whatever, but she actually is, especially with very light (in terms of colors and amount) makeup, like with a nice peachy lip gloss to play up her fair skin and light hair, and with her hair in very loose tousled ringlets. This is on the opposite side of the tousled spectrum. Like I’m wondering if she actually meant for her hair to look like that.

Erica: Yeah, I thought maybe the hair was going to be part of a bit of some kind. And then when she and Amy Poehler went up to present the first award and did that little beautification thing in front of the stage, I thought, “Oh, they’re going to fix it!” But. No. Not so much.

Kate: The neckline of the dress isn’t the most flattering either — a necklace may have helped — but, again, absolutely love the color and love her very much.

Anna Chlumsky

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Generated by IJG JPEG Library

Kate: Oh, she wanted to wear a DNA diagram on her dress.

Erica: See, I first saw this when she was in the audience and I kind of liked it. I thought it was romantic and fetching. Then I saw a picture of her from the front and realized that no, it was not at all fetching. But I did love her enthusiasm every time a Veep person won.

Kate: By enthusiasm you mean crazy intense faces? I pretty much hate this. Her hair looks nuts.

Erica: I don’t mind the concept of the hair, which I know you do, but it looked pretty frazzled.

Ariel Winter

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Generated by IJG JPEG Library

Kate: Luurrrvvveeeeeee.

Erica: Yeah? I mean, she looks very nice. But I don’t know that I LURVE.

Kate: Absolutely perfect shade of red, perfect silhouette, perfect hair, perfect perfect perfect. She is one class act.

Erica: It’s a good color for her. I’m not into the waistline and I’m not into the purse/rings and I don’t know. It’s not wowing me.

Aubrey Plaza

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Generated by IJG JPEG Library

Kate: LOVE THE DRESS. LOVE.

Erica: Like the dress. Like. She looks sexy and a little chill and it’s a good look for her.

Kate: Also love the angled bob in theory, but in practice it looks a little casual for that dress/this event. A sleek bun like Ellie Kemper’s (see below) may have worked better. Really love the dress, and PERFECT shoes.

Erica: The hair is not quite as sleek as it needs to be and the make-up could be a little stronger. I do appreciate that she didn’t overdo the jewelry.

Kate: Honestly this would already be a best dressed nominee if not for the hair.

Cat Deeley

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Generated by IJG JPEG Library

Kate: Cat! It’s our Cat! Hi Cat!

Erica: Do you think if we met her in person we’d just start talking to her like we know her and she’d freak out and call the police?

Kate: Yes to the first part, but she’d love us too much to call the police. Um, she’s pregnant? That explains all those weird dresses on SYTYCD!

Erica: You know, I thought it was just light hitting the dress weird, but you could be right. That makes me happy. Cat Deeley should definitely be replicating.

Kate: I am right, pregnancy confirmed. Her hair is absolutely perfectly Cat Deeley-esque, and I think the gold is great on her. A zillion times better than anything she wore all season long.

Erica: Seriously. And we almost never see a side part on her on the show, which I like quite a bit.

Christina Hendricks

attends the 67th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards at Microsoft Theater on September 20, 2015 in Los Angeles, California.

attends the 67th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards at Microsoft Theater on September 20, 2015 in Los Angeles, California.

Kate: Ok so she was on Watch What Happens Live fairly recently and looked way too skinny to me, but this is the Christina I know and love. VA-VA-VOOM!

Erica: I get the feeling her weight fluctuates a lot. She looks fantastic but I do not love the dress.

Kate: I love her hair like that so very much, and I think very few people other than her could pull off that dress. The crazy patterns and textures accentuate and flatter every inch of her body.

Erica: I do love her hair. The dress — I just want to chop off the sleeves. That’s all.

Claire Danes

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Generated by IJG JPEG Library

Kate: Oh no Angela, this is all wrong. All of it — hair style, hair color, dress color, neckline, silhouette, sequins, chains — ALL WRONG!

Erica: Everything she wears on the red carpet looks like a sack hanging off a skeleton. Claire, either eat a sandwich or dress your skinny frame in a flattering way, please.

Kate: Worst dressed nominee.

Erica: I was going to say, I don’t know that it’s that bad, but tonight was pretty boring in terms of fashion, so yeah, probably.

Danielle Brooks

attends the 67th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards at Microsoft Theater on September 20, 2015 in Los Angeles, California.

attends the 67th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards at Microsoft Theater on September 20, 2015 in Los Angeles, California.

Kate: That neckline with that hair is a little too harsh on her, but the dress itself is a lot of fun.

Erica: Yeah, the hair could be some other way, but I like the dress and I like how much she appears to love it.

Dascha Polanco

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Generated by IJG JPEG Library

Kate: Oh no.

Erica: Oh. I love her work on the show, though. But no. She looks like a person made famous by being rejected by some horrible old music star on a VH1 reality show.

Kate: She always looks a hot mess on the red carpet, let’s get her a stylist shall we? Brad, are you free to take on another client?

Erica: She needs help. She’s a lovely and talented person but she dresses like…Well, I’m too much of a lady to say what she dresses like.

Elisabeth Moss

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Generated by IJG JPEG Library

Kate: Oh, so that’s where Amy Poehler’s hair color went.

Erica: She’s been doing that hair for a while now. We do not like, Elisabeth Moss. We like you, but not blond hair on you.

Kate: Not a fan at all. The hair color is way too harsh against her skin. I like the dress color, but the dress itself is rather boring. This falls flat for me all around.

Erica: See, I agree that it’s not the most interesting thing ever, and I hate the hair and I don’t love the red lips with the pink gown, but grading on the Elisabeth Moss curve? It’s fine.

Ellie Kemper

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Generated by IJG JPEG Library

Kate: For some reason on anyone else I think I’d hate this, but on this adorable woman who plays such an adorable character, I love it. (Please note that it looked a lot better during the Emmys than it does in the photos.)

Erica: I actually like it quite a bit. It’s pretty and interesting, looks well made, flatters her nicely, fits her “brand,” and she (or someone else) styled it well. Good job, Ellie!

Kate: I also love the severity/formality of her hair and clean, classic makeup in contrast to the funkiness of the dress. BEST DRESSED NOMINEE!

Erica: Definitely under consideration.

Emma Roberts

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Generated by IJG JPEG Library

Kate: ExCUSE ME Julia Roberts’ niece!

Erica: OH! Is that who she is?

Kate: Yes! Hot damn she looks incredible. I love this dress. In ivory or another shade of white, and maybe a slightly less shiny material, it could be a fabulous wedding dress? Kind of looks like mine maybe a little? No? Ok.

Erica: I did like the dress a lot although I thought it was a teensy bit too pale/shiny.

Kate: The only thing that’s throwing me off is the dress being almost the same color as her skin, which we know I don’t like, and the very light hair. This would have been absolute perfection on a brunette. (Sorry blonds, I am usually not this prejudiced against you.)

Erica: Yeah, you usually hate that. I agree, brunette (which she sometimes is, no? Or do I completely not know who Emma Roberts is?), lack of shine, perfect.

Heidi Klum
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Generated by IJG JPEG Library

Kate: No.

Erica. It’s so bad it’s funny. I’m certain she meant it to be this bad, really.

Kate: No.

Erica: She’s like, “I am Heidi Klum. Let’s test the ‘Anything would look good on me’ theory!”

Kate: THIS IS ⅓ OF BIG BIRD’S COSTUME! NO!

Erica: She does go ALL OUT for Halloween. Maybe this is her dress rehearsal.
Kate: Yes, if she plans to dress up as Big Bird this year.

Jane Krakowski

attends the 67th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards at Microsoft Theater on September 20, 2015 in Los Angeles, California.

attends the 67th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards at Microsoft Theater on September 20, 2015 in Los Angeles, California.

Kate: I think the overall look is very classy and elegant and pretty, and I even like the color blocking, but I CANNOT with the peplum — I thought we were over that! — and I think it would like a lot better as a column instead of a flared skirt.

Erica: It feels like those pieces were just added to the dress to f*ck with us. The dress would be great without them. And her hair and make-up are lovely, and also, I want Jane Krakowski to be in more things.

Kate: So, when CAN we be done with the peplum?

Erica: When can we be done with the shoulders-forward-hunch pose?

Joanne Froggatt

Generated by  IJG JPEG Library

Generated by IJG JPEG Library

Kate: I wasn’t going to include her but then I heard that Brad Goreski styled her, so yay!

Erica: I’m sure I know who that is.

Kate: We’ve been over this: He was Rachel Zoe’s assistant, then got his own show on Bravo, now is a Fashion Police judge, and stylist to the STARS. I love the two-tonedness and the silhouette and the ribbonyness of this dress a lot.

Erica: It’s not my usual thing but I like it and it looks pretty on her.

Kate: However, I do not like the hair at all. Way too casual. That’s what my hair looks like a few hours after I let it air dry and it has lost all life. NOT red carpet appropriate.

Erica: Oh, in pics, I thought it looked nice. A little casual, sure, but pretty, and great color. Did it not look as good in motion?

Kate: Nope, dead and flat. Although, in her defense, with that complicated neckline, I’m really not sure what hairstyle would have been better.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus

attends the 67th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards at Microsoft Theater on September 20, 2015 in Los Angeles, California.

attends the 67th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards at Microsoft Theater on September 20, 2015 in Los Angeles, California.

Kate: Ok, we all know how much I love JLD, right?

Erica: Yes.

Kate: I like this, and she looks gorgeous, but I don’t love it nearly as much as her last, like, 20 red carpet looks. It’s just a little basic. And the earrings are a little too much with the dress and the hair is a little too not enough. Ya know?

Erica: I think it’s boring, as most of the fashions were, but damn if she doesn’t look good. She is keeping it seriously tight, and I thought here hair looked gorgeous.

Kate: No, you know what, I take it back. I didn’t mean any of that, she looks perfectly amazing. Please don’t be mad at me JLD!

Julie Bowen

attends the 67th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards at Microsoft Theater on September 20, 2015 in Los Angeles, California.

attends the 67th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards at Microsoft Theater on September 20, 2015 in Los Angeles, California.

Kate: This is a surprisingly safe and classic choice for her — kind of like JLD’s! She usually tries a little harder than this, no?

Erica: I remain convinced that she is lulling us into a false sense of security.

Kate: Well I actually like it. I could do without the third strap around the neck, but without that it’d probably be a little too basic. She’s even channeling her inner Sofia Vergara with that mermaid bottom.

Erica: One day we will be EXPECTING something perfectly classy and nice from her — “Oh, Julie Bowen, yes, she used to dress like a madwoman, but not anymore!” we will say to ourselves, then BOOM! Something horrific.

Kerry Washington

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Generated by IJG JPEG Library


Kate: It looks like Michael Jackson’s and Prince’s closets got together and had a baby and that baby is this horRENDOUS dress.

Erica: Aw. I was kind of intrigued by this. It was not boring.

Kate: No, it’s gross. Also truly terrible hair. Is that the thing where you tuck long hair under so that it looks like a bob? If so it was very poorly done. SO over you, Kerry Washington!

Erica: I will never be over you, Kerry Washington. Although I did stop watching Scandal. I’m sorry. I couldn’t keep track of who I was supposed to like anymore.

Kiernan Shipka

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Generated by IJG JPEG Library


Kate: I get what she’s doing here and I really don’t like it.

Erica: I don’t know. I’m intrigued.

Kate: There just comes a point where I wonder if people wear things that they actually think look good on them or look good in general, or if they just wear it because they heard it’s on trend or just for the shock value. I don’t appreciate that.

Erica: I feel like she’s definitely making a very fashion-forward choice, but I did actually think it looked good on her, and in general — well, it’s interesting. It is not at all boring. And she kept the hair and make-up really perfect and simple so that it didn’t look like she was wearing a costume. She’s getting to have such an interesting and lovely face.

Kate: Worst dressed nominee!

Lady Gaga

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Generated by IJG JPEG Library

Kate: Of all the people I would expect to wear a basic black one-shoulder gown, Lady Gaga would never be one of them. Her dress, JLD’s and Julie Bowen’s could be interchangeable.

Erica: That seems to be the thing she’s doing now. Normal.

Kate: As I’ve mentioned a few times now, I don’t really like that unnatural blond hair color on anyone, but damn, she cleans up nice. I really love the makeup. Maybe I should do fake lashes for the wedding…

Erica: The makeup was a little much for me but nice.

Laura Prepon

attends the 67th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards at Microsoft Theater on September 20, 2015 in Los Angeles, California.

attends the 67th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards at Microsoft Theater on September 20, 2015 in Los Angeles, California.


Kate: I think a lot of people are going to disagree with me here, but I like the messy updo. A lot.

Erica: I like it in and of itself (although I will always like her better as a redhead, and in any event, that color is way too harsh for her), but I don’t like it with that particular dress.

Kate: And you know, I like the idea of the dress, but wouldn’t it have been great as a strapless red number WITHOUT the beaded turtleneck cape/shrug thing? They are separate pieces, right?

Erica: Well, then it wouldn’t have been the look she was going for. I don’t like it for the Emmys or for a person her age (she needs about 20 more years before that’s a good look) but I think without the shrug, it’s just another red mermaid dress.

Kate: I seem to recall her having very odd red carpet looks before, though, so I think this is the step in the right direction.

Laverne Cox

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Generated by IJG JPEG Library


Kate: That color again! Is it the color of the night?

Erica: I think we just like that color.

Kate: (It looked very similar to Amy Schumer’s on the pre-show, but not so much in pictures.) The ridiculously yellow neon nails AND shoes ALMOST ruin it, but everything else is flawless. Love the long loose waves, love the dress. The material looks so flawless.

Erica: I like it. I even like the shoes/nails as a contrast color. I usually hate Laverne Cox’s red carpet looks, and I’m happy to see her in something simple but still interesting, with great hair and makeup.

Lena Headey

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Generated by IJG JPEG Library

Kate: Eh, no.

Erica: I saw her first on stage, not on the red carpet, so my first thought about the dress was that she was carrying it weird. But then I loved her hair and make-up. And I decided I like the dress.

Kate: She usually takes pretty big risks on the red carpet, but I think this would have worked as a more slinky number and not a huge poofy skirt. The color is great, but it’s overall a little too overwhelming for me.

Erica: I don’t know; more slinky would have been more normal/boring. I don’t know that I LOVE this dress, but I like the overall look on her. Also, she was robbed. (Was she robbed? She lost, right?) She was magical on GoT this season.

Kate: I think GoT has won enough things for me to not feel like any of them have ever been/will ever be robbed.

Maisie Williams

Generated by  IJG JPEG Library

Generated by IJG JPEG Library

Kate: Oh it’s so weird seeing Arya in a strapless bubblegum pink gown!

Erica: Aw, she should get to feel pretty sometimes!

Kate: I mean, I think she looks nice, but nothing about this really stands out to me.

Erica: It’s a cute dress, but it needs to be a couple of inches shorter, and while I understand why she might want to put furry shoes with it, I don’t think it looked right, and the heel was too chunky. But hey. She only gets to girl it up some of the time.

Maggie Gyllenhaal
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Generated by IJG JPEG Library

Erica: So I don’t like the two-tone formal dresses, in general, but this one was cut very beautifully out of a lovely material and it didn’t make her boobs look, like, excessively droopy like they usually do on the red carpet, so I kind of have to give it to her.
Kate: Yeah, I surprisingly liked the silhouette of this a lot.
Mindy Kaling
attends the 67th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards at Microsoft Theater on September 20, 2015 in Los Angeles, California.

attends the 67th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards at Microsoft Theater on September 20, 2015 in Los Angeles, California.

Kate: You know what? This color is risky, but I like it on her.
Erica: She has the perfect skin tone for this color. No risk for lovely Indian ladies.
Kate: I don’t love it, especially because the earrings and bag are the same color so it’s just like a lot of that one color, but I think she overall looks quite nice.
Erica: I think she did the matchy-matchy on purpose and I kind of applaud it. Not my usual thing, but she committed and I appreciate that.
Kate: You know who else is wearing a similar color and does not look quite nice? Heidi Klum.

Natasha Lyonne

attends the 67th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards at Microsoft Theater on September 20, 2015 in Los Angeles, California.

attends the 67th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards at Microsoft Theater on September 20, 2015 in Los Angeles, California.

Kate: She also always kind of looks a hot mess on the red carpet, particularly dress length-wise, but I don’t think she actually really cares at all.

Erica: She most definitely 100% does not care at all. This might actually be the nicest I’ve seen her look on the red carpet.

Kate: I also see some way-too-chunky shoes underneath that — shudder — fringe.

Regina King
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Generated by IJG JPEG Library

Erica. So as long as I was only looking at her from the waist/hips up, I really liked the dress. I love stark white on dark-skinned ladies, and I liked the structure in the top. But the bottom was a tad too structured. And I hate when formal gowns hit right above the foot like that.
Kate: It’s a Christmas tree. She is literally wearing a white/silver Christmas tree on her body. (Great makeup and hair, though.)

Samira Wiley

attends the 67th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards at Microsoft Theater on September 20, 2015 in Los Angeles, California.

attends the 67th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards at Microsoft Theater on September 20, 2015 in Los Angeles, California.

Kate: Yeeeessssssss.

Erica: Absolute perfection. One hundred percent doing everything right.

Kate: Very Lupita. Perfect color on her, flawless makeup (despite the weird facial expressions in the photo). Best dressed nominee, certainly best dressed OITNB cast member!

Erica: Yes, very Lupita. Which is a compliment of the highest order.

Sarah Hyland

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Generated by IJG JPEG Library

Kate: That’s a great dress, but what is she 36 now?

Erica: Yes. That is exactly the age she should be when wearing that dress.

Kate: She dresses way older than she needs to, and that haircut and super-dark makeup make it even worse. She should take a page out of Ariel Winter’s style book.

Erica: See, I’ve liked previous Ariel Winter looks better than tonight.

Kate: Also don’t love the earrings and matching bracelet (which is halfway up her arm?) with that dress, kind of cheapens it. Also feel like we’ve actually seen this dress before? Maybe on Tina Fey?

Erica: Yeah, I was trying to figure out if this was a Covet dress or something. It looks really familiar.

Kate: On second (or third or fourth) thought, I do like how the shoulder straps continue as one long horizontal strap in the back. Sexy. But, too sexy on her?

Erica: I think it’s just too old. She looked cute at the afterparty. (Still with a bracelet halfway up her forearm for some reason, but it looks cuter there.)

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Generated by IJG JPEG Library

Sofia Vergara

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Generated by IJG JPEG Library

Kate: That is the least amount of cleavage I’ve ever seen on Sofia Vergara on the red carpet.

Erica: That is probably a true observation.

Kate: Also, not a mermaid bottom? A slightly underwhelming choice for her but, Jesus Christ, she’s a smokeshow no matter what. Her talking about her perfume to Ryan Seacrest during the pre-show was quite entertaining.

Erica: According to Julie Bowen, she is basically her character.

Taylor Schilling

Generated by  IJG JPEG Library

Generated by IJG JPEG Library

Kate: Ugh, no no. This is pretty bad.

Erica: There are some things I like conceptually about this dress, but man, were those concepts executed terribly.

Kate: The asymmetrical neckline is awkward, the color is just OK, the length and ruffle at the bottom are dreadful, and the matchy-matchy shoes? Terrible. I also don’t like the flapper hairstyle but I know that’s like, “in”, right now.

Erica: Hair and makeup are the least offensive things happening. Look, if you are blond and pale, you need to be careful about yellow. That is all.

Taraji P. Henson

Generated by  IJG JPEG Library

Generated by IJG JPEG Library

Kate: So she looks pretty sexy, I’ll give her that. But the chain straps? Come on. So tacky. Why are these on more than one person tonight?

Erica: I thought hair and makeup were flawless and I really should be watching Empire, I think, but I did not like the dress and also thought it hung weird on her boobs.

Kate: Is the skirt all fringe? Not a fan. Also not a fan of the very dark purple/blue eyeshadow — too much. Great bob, though.

Erica: I only saw the makeup on stage where it looked terrific.

Taryn Manning

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Generated by IJG JPEG Library

Kate: Morticia Addams. No.

Erica: She’s so cute. Why doesn’t she dress/style herself like a cute person? Why does she wear dreadful dresses and slick back her hair all weird?

Tina Fey

onstage during the 67th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards at Microsoft Theater on September 20, 2015 in Los Angeles, California.

onstage during the 67th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards at Microsoft Theater on September 20, 2015 in Los Angeles, California.

Kate: She really loves that black-and-white fancy waitress look, doesn’t she?

Erica: I really don’t like that look. At all. I think I’m on the record on this issue.

Kate: I mean I think she looks very nice but it’s not thrilling me.

Erica: Look, if she and Amy would host again, the two of them could wear whatever they wanted and I’d say nothing but nice things about it. Andy Samberg is…Not my favorite.

Uzo Aduba

attends the 67th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards at Microsoft Theater on September 20, 2015 in Los Angeles, California.

attends the 67th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards at Microsoft Theater on September 20, 2015 in Los Angeles, California.

Kate: Similar neckline and hair to Danielle Brooks’ but it works a lot better on Uzo.

Erica: She looked good and was very charming in her acceptance speech. Wait, did she beat Lena Headey? Then maybe Lena Headey did not get robbed. Although, now that I’m thinking about it, while Uzo Aduba’s portrayal of Crazy Eyes is quite fabulous all of the time, this wasn’t a particularly great season for her character the way it was for Lena Headey’s.

Kate: No, Uzo won supporting, Viola Davis won lead. I think I would like this dress a lot more without the black in the middle (or is that navy blue?), but she overall looks very lovely.

Erica: I don’t like the dress, but she looks good in it. I feel about it the way I feel about almost all of the dresses tonight — it’s fine. It’s not my thing but it’s fine.

Viola Davis
poses in the press room at the 67th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards at Microsoft Theater on September 20, 2015 in Los Angeles, California.

poses in the press room at the 67th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards at Microsoft Theater on September 20, 2015 in Los Angeles, California.

Erica: Pretty good dress. Didn’t love the make-up. Didn’t actually recognize her when she first came out because the make-up was not making her look her best.
Kate: The dress is nice but I really don’t like how she wears her hair or makeup so it kind of ruins it for me.

Yael Stone

attends the 67th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards at Microsoft Theater on September 20, 2015 in Los Angeles, California.

attends the 67th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards at Microsoft Theater on September 20, 2015 in Los Angeles, California.

Kate: Ummm why have we not seen her on the red carpet with her fellow OITNB nominees before? She looks incredible!

Erica: Oh! It took me a minute to figure out who she was! She looks cute!

Kate: What a fun, high fashion, couture dress. I want to not like the ponytail with it but I think it really all works very well.

Erica: Yeah, that’s messy updo done well. And the dress is fun, if a little bit heavy-looking.

Kate: Alas, best dressed?

Erica: How do we even pick when this was a night of meh? My personal fave was probably Allison Janney. But she is also my personal fave person. Samira Wiley probably deserves it most.

Kate: Or Ellie Kemper? Worst dressed?

Erica: I mean, Heidi Klum is definitely the worst, but she’s baiting us to say that. So Claire Danes?
Kate: I’ll give them a tie for worst. WARST!

Oscars 2015!

Kate: It’s here it’s here it’s here!!!

Erica: Tonight, we will be joined for a few looks by my resident fashion expert, Zoe. She drew some pictures of outfits, and of the hairstyles and jewelry she thinks they ought to have worn. I will present them below, but first, since we’re not including them in the official look, here are her drawings of Kelly Osbourne’s dress:

oscars 2015 zoe kelly osbourne

Zoe: The back of her dress could use a little cut. It could just take away one frill. The shoes should be a high heel.

Erica: But they are a high heel.

Zoe. I mean like a total high heel. And less black.

 

Erica: – and Giuliana Rancic’s:

oscars 2015 zoe giuliana rancic

Zoe: I feel sort of weird that her body shows. I think it needs to be a little more covered up. It could be a little trimmed — a tiny bit, but not too much. Her hair should be in a bun-braid. The earrings should be a little fancier and longer.

Erica: And also Jason has a comment or two to make.

Kate: Ian does too, when he’s not having an aneurysm while watching Illinois basketball. My favorite Oscars ever is still the one Billy Crystal hosted when Titanic was nominated 30000 times.

Erica: Was that the same one that had Matt Damon and Ben Affleck nominated for Good Will Hunting and he sang, “Matt and Ben/You are so young” to the tune of Cole Porter’s “Night and Day”? Because that was my favorite, too.

Kate: I believe so.

Erica: Also, one quick question for the evening: Am I the only person in the whole wide universe who sees Bradley Cooper and goes, “Fine”? “Fine” as in, “I mean he’s nice looking and all, but does absolutely nothing for me,” not as in, “Fiiiiiine.”

Kate: Stop it, he’s sexy. And awayyyyyyyyyyy we GO!

 

America Ferrera

oscars 2015 america ferrera

Zoe: I think that wherever it needed to be sewed or patched, there should be a gemstone line, silver, like the middle of her dress.

oscars 2015 zoe america ferrara

Erica: I think the dress is really, really lovely. I am impressed.

Kate: Really? I don’t like it at all. I’m not completely sure why, but I don’t. Her hair looks like Katharine McPhee’s at the Grammys, a.k.a. half up and bad.

 

Anna Faris

oscars 2015 anna faris

Kate: Oh this is just so sparkly and pretty. She looks like a twinkly glass of champagne and stardust.

Erica: Yeah? I mean, I think she looks nice enough but I’m not enamored.

Kate: I don’t like her hair that much, but the dress is so freaking adorable I almost don’t care. (Almost.)

Erica: I like her a lot, but I feel like her hair always looks a little meh.

 

Anna Kendrick

oscars 2015 anna kendrick

Erica: Damn, she looks good.

Kate: GORGEOUS! Omg I love this. It’s kind of Ancient Grecian/Egyptian? Love!

Erica: I think it’s more modern than anything else, but it is really flattering on her.

Zoe: I think there should be an opal-studded belt at the middle and a silver necklace with an opal at the end, with a gold frame around it. I think there should be another opal at the top of the neck triangle.

oscars 2015 zoe anna kendrick

Kate: Too much opal, Zoe, and you know how I feel about belts. In some pictures the dress looks pink/coral, in others it looks more red/orange, and the red/orange looks better. The hair is a little more structured than I like hers to be, but she probably had to do that because of the neckline of that fabulous dress. Best dressed nominee?

Erica: I’m not actually as enamored of this. It’s not that there’s anything wrong with it (except that the color looks weird with the red carpet). It looks flawless on her. I just…I don’t know. I don’t love it.

Kate: Giuliana Rancic and Khloe Kardashian were discussing this dress on the pre-show and Khloe said it’s not an “Oscar color” and it looks like she’s “going to a dance”. DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON WHAT YOU WEAR YOU EFFING HORRENDOUS DECREPIT PIECE OF GARBAGE! I’m back on my I-want-to-kill-a-Kardashian rant.

Erica: Oh, I am fast-forwarding but I thought I heard someone say that. It sounded to me like someone looking for something negative to say.

Kate: Well I’ve got lots of negative things to say about the person who said it!

 

Cate Blanchett

oscars 2015 cate blanchett

Kate: Not my favorite from Ms. Blanchett, but she might be close to if not already in that “I don’t give a f*ck” category with Julia Roberts and Meryl Streep.

Erica: I kind of love the statement necklace.

Kate: The boring dress would look a lot worse without the statement necklace, but I think the necklace itself is more I’m-going-to-brunch than I’m-going-to-the-Oscars, so I’m conflicted about it. Don’t like the hair and makeup.

Erica: I think her lip gloss is flawless and I think, once you put the necklace with the dress, you’ve got Oscars.

 

Dakota Johnson

oscars 2015 dakota johnson

Kate: Remember Er, she didn’t write 50 Shades, and she is not actually Anastasia Steele. She just chose to be in the movie. Let’s leave that aside and be objective in our judgment of her outfit.

Erica: I can put that all aside (although, if she wanted me to put aside her 50 Shades connections, maybe she shouldn’t have worn a silver rope on her dress). I still feel like, meh.

Kate: I think this is a little too night-out-on-the-town and slinky for the Oscars. Also, that ponytail? That’s what my hair looks like when I’m in my apartment and I know no one else will see it (minus the bangs, thank God I got rid of those).

Erica: Yeah, I’m not super-excited about the hair or anything to do with the outfit.

Kate: I am overall a little bored by her, I just don’t think she’s that pretty or interesting. But her mom is Melanie Griffith, apparently?

Erica: Yeah, I know that. Her and Don Johnson. She actually looks a lot like Melanie Griffith.

 

Emma Stone

oscars 2015 emma stone

Erica: Oh, man.

Kate: Hate it.

Erica: I don’t hate the hair but I hate the dress A LOT. She continues to be a charming and pleasant person, though.

Kate: Hate the hair, hate the color, hate the silhouette, very upset about the downhill-ness of her red carpet looks from year to year.

 

Felicity Jones

oscars 2015 felicity jones

Kate: Hmmm…I don’t think I love this as much as her Globes and SAGs dresses.

Ian: She’s wearing the wedding cake from Seinfeld.

Erica: So, it’s interesting. And, like I said in our Grammys coverage, I’m into not boring lately. But…I don’t know. I don’t like it. But it is interesting.

Kate: Let’s see. I like the color on her. I think it’s a beautiful and dramatic gown that looks expertly made — very Alexander McQueen — but something about the overall look is just not doing it for me. I’m sad about having that feeling because I love her.

Erica: You know what, maybe I do like it. The more I see it, the more I think, you know, it’s glamorous and well-made and a little cutting-edge and I am looking forward to her red carpet future.

 

Gwyneth Paltrow

oscars 2015 gwyneth paltrow

Kate: Ewwww!

Erica: Heehee.

Kate: That was my exact reaction upon seeing the first picture of this dress: EW. You can do better, Gwyneth!

Erica: My first reaction was, Heehee!

Kate: That shade of pink looks nice against her skin and hair but it’s so yay-we’re-having-a-girl, I can’t stand it on the Oscars red carpet. And that SLEEVE? No.
Erica: I do not like it but I am massively entertained by it. She’s looking kind of orange, no?

Kate: Orange and wearing ice blue eye shadow. I canNOT with you right now, Gwyneth.

 

Jennifer Aniston

oscars 2015 jennifer aniston

Kate: Well this just knocks it out of the park now doesn’t it?

Erica: Very sexy.

Kate: I love it. I don’t love it enough to give her a best dressed nomination because I wish she had done something else with her hair, but I love it.

Erica: I feel like it’s a little too boring for best dressed, but I like her hair. It’s her, you know?

Kate: It must be tough to show up after getting a nomination snub. #TeamJen forever. Why is the world so out to get her?!

 

Jennifer Lopez

oscars 2015 jennifer lopez

Kate: Holy cow. Now that’s an Oscars dress!

Erica: For real.

Kate: I sort of wish one of the nominees had worn this — maybe Felicity Jones, or someone with flat boobs — but it looks great on J. Lo. I really like her high bouncy pony. Makeup is a little too neon.

Zoe: That’s a winner for the night, don’t you think?

Kate: I like it a lot, Zo!

Erica: Me, too. And you know, I like that she usually looks like a sex goddess, and this is more princessy (albeit with a lot of cleavage), but it also looks amazing on her. And it’s my kind of dress, you know? I like Elie Saab. Although Emma Stone is in Elie Saab, too, and I hate that.

 

Jessica Chastain

oscars 2015 jessica chastain

Kate: Ooooh I like. I think?

Erica: I love. I really really really love. She looks fantastic. I already love that color, and I thought I loved it best on blondes but it looks damn good with her red hair.

Kate: It’s very sexy and flattering, and yes the blue looks great on her. Very Christina Hendricks. But the hair and makeup may be a bit too casual/plain, and I do not think she needs the necklace.

Erica: No way, no way, no way. This is in the top five for me.

 

Julianne Moore

oscars 2015 julianne moore

Kate: There’s something about that curved strapless silhouette that is very flattering. I just wish it only had the embellishment on top and bottom and not near the hips; the one near the hips breaks up the dress in a weird way.

Erica: Oh, I think the embellishment at the hips is very flattering and glam.

Kate: I am not so into this color on her, but the sleek low bun with the deep side part might make up for that. Yeah, I think the hair is making up for the color. #Weddinghairpossibility

Erica: I totes think your hair should look like that for the wedding. I mean, except, yours should be brown.

 

Keira Knightley

oscars 2015 kiera knightley

Kate: Her Golden Globes gown was atrocious, then she almost redeemed herself with the SAGs frock. Now she’s back to sucking. I hate this whole entire situation.

Erica: Really? I like this one. It’s romantic and pretty. I would like it if the color were just a little more fine-tuned — it looks like Silly Putty, a bit — but I love the look. I like romance and floral and embroidery. Also, pregnancy is looking good on her.

Kate: Completely disagree.

 

Kerry Washington

oscars 2015 kerry washington

Kate: Oh I’m so glad the peplum is back on the red carpet, said no one ever.

Erica: The thing is, she looks great, even if the dress does not.

Kate: This dress is half mother-of-the-bride, half quilt. Hate it. I feel like Anthony Marantino on that episode of SATC when he goes wedding dress shopping with Charlotte: “HATES IT!” I like her hair, though.

Erica: Yeah. I don’t like the dress. But her hair and makeup and general personality are flawless.

 

Lady Gaga

oscars 2015 lady gaga

Kate: Theeerreeee’s the Gaga we all know and love. She looks quite out of her mind.

Erica: No, but for real, what is going on with her face? I know she’s never been stunningly pretty or anything, but something is happening that looks severely unhealthy.

Kate: I think she has just gained weight, she was alarmingly skinny before. Alas, I hate the gloves. Way to start a stupid trend, Amal!

Erica: Please. On Amal, they were classy and glam. Lady Gaga’s are just…Well, whatever. She’s Lady Gaga. That’s what she does. Most of the time.

Kate: I just don’t like the looseness — elbow-length gloves should fit you right.

 

Laura Dern

oscars 2015 laura dern

Kate: Wow! This is much more interesting than what she usually wears. We never even include her in these posts even though she is at every single award show, but I felt like we had to include her tonight because she is nominated.

Erica: That is interesting. I don’t like it, but it’s interesting.

Kate: I don’t think she needs that big necklace with so much going on all over the dress, and the clutch is too matchy-matchy. Hair also a little too casual, very Jennifer Aniston, but this is overall a good look. Not the BEST, but good.

Ian: She looks like she’s going into a joust match. She’s dressed in a medieval suit of armor.

Erica: In that case, she’s leaving a lot dangerously uncovered. I actually like her hair. I mean, yes, I guess it’s casual, but it also looks really nice.

 

Lupita Nyong’o

oscars 2015 lupita nyong'o

Kate: She would be the one to wear a dress made partially of pearls, and I would be the one to say I do not like it, not one bit.

Erica: I want to like it, I do. I like the concept. And I love stark white on very dark skin. And I like her. But yeah, no.

Kate: There’s a scene in the truly amazing film Burlesque during which Christina Aguilera’s character performs a sexy routine in a shorter version of this. I like the Burlesque dress better. Worst dressed nominee.

Erica: I can’t do it. I can’t give her worst dressed. I like her too much.

 

Margot Robbie

oscars 2015 margot robbie

Kate: Smoke show.

Erica: She looks like sex walking.

Kate: This dress could be too old-ladyish, but I think the hair, makeup, necklace and deep V actually prevent that and make it pretty hot.

Erica: Yeah, totes agree with all of your points.

 

Marion Cotillard

oscars 2015 marion cotillard

Kate: I think you cannot look like this if you are American. There is just something about Europeans, they have an extra layer of elegance and chicness Americans can never even hope to achieve. Maybe that’s why Audrey Hepburn was so perfect.

Erica: She looks amazing and perfect. The dress is daring and interesting and high-fashion. It looks great on her and it’s interesting and glamorous.

Kate: This dress is actually pretty extreme couture — like, it would be great on an American at the Met Ball, but on Marion Cotillard at the Oscars? Effortlessly striking perfection. Best dressed nominee!

 

Meryl Streep

oscars 2015 meryl streep

Kate: Her usual flawless black-and-white, I-don’t-give-a-f*ck elegance. Could do without the belt, but Meryl does not give a f*ck about what I could do without.

Erica: She is the Grand High Duchess of Not Giving a F*ck.

 

Naomi Watts

oscars 2015 naomi watts

Kate: I do NOT like that it looks like she’s wearing a bandeau under her dress. I hate bandeaus. If you’re wearing one, you’re wearing a shirt you bought knowing you couldn’t wear a normal bra under it, and that’s just too silly for me to approve of. I get that the bandeau may just be part of her dress, but I still don’t like it.

Erica: Is she at all comfortable? Like, isn’t she awfully itchy in that? I was reading something regarding what to dress little ones in for weddings (for no particular reason) and it advised that a whole bodice with sparkles, while pretty, was going to itch under their arms like crazy. And that’s all I could think about looking at this.

Kate: I don’t like the dress at all, and I really don’t like the dark purple lipstick against her fair skin and light blond hair. It doesn’t even match the ugly dress!

Erica: Naomi Watts is very pretty but I hate all of this.

 

Nicole Kidman

oscars 2015 nicole kidman

Kate: So I still really enjoy her long bob, but I cannot help but wonder if she has worn this dress before?

Erica: I don’t know. I don’t think so. I don’t much like it.

Kate: I’m also not sure if it’s white or gold or iridescent or all three? The hideousness of that clutch is making me very angry. I blame Covet for my noticing the clutches more than I usually do.

Erica: Blame? Or thank? I really hate the color on her.

Kate: But WHAT COLOR IS IT?

 

Patricia Arquette

oscars 2015 patricia arquette

Kate: This dress is nice and she looks fine, but I was really hoping for something else from her. She knows she’s going to win!

Erica: But I think her thing is to look, basically, fine. I get the sense that she just tries to look appropriate for the occasion, and not, like wildly sexy and glam and amazing. That said, her hair? Not really acceptable for the occasion.

Kate: Agree on the hair. This is actually a very Meryl dress, and Meryl she is not.

oscars 2015 zoe patricia arquette

Zoe: I think there should be better silver earrings. I want the purse replaced with a necklace and a bracelet. I think there should be a repeating frill on the higher sleeve.

Kate: I am not sure how I feel about “repeating frill”.

 

Reese Witherspoon

oscars 2015 reese witherspoon

Kate: The hair, the makeup, the jewelry and the dress are all so very Reese. It’s interesting that she chose to wear white to every award show this year, white is a bold choice.

Erica: She really looks flawless.

Kate: Many will say this is boring, and maybe it is a little bit, but she still just looks so good. I love her. I can’t wait to watch Wild.

Erica: I don’t know, it’s just so smooth and perfect. Her hair, her makeup. It’s not a remarkable dress, but it’s a really great look on her.

 

Rosamund Pike

oscars 2015 rosamund pike

Kate: I do like me some red on the red carpet.

Ian: I likes it!

Erica: Holy moly she looks AMAZING. Very, very, very tiny, but I FREAKING LOVE THIS DRESS. And this whole look. LOVE.

Kate: Agree, she looks fantastic. I like that the dress is less “out there” than most of her other choices, and her body looks hot-damn incredible. I also really like the very simple makeup and hair. Another best dressed nominee! (So far it’s Anna Kendrick, Marion Cotillard, and Rosamund Pike. Just so we’re keeping track.)

Erica: So for me, it’s Rosamund Pike, Jessica Chastain and Marion Cotillard. And maybe Jennifer Lopez, though I agree with you that the makeup is a little much. But I have to say, I feel like these ladies brought it tonight.

 

Scarlett Johansson

oscars 2015 scarlett johansson

Kate: The color and silhouette are fantastic on her. I cannot figure out what is happening on her neck.

Erica: The neck thing looks weird.

Kate: The neck thing is probably too much for me, and the hair is way too punk for the Oscars, but if I just focus on the dress, it’s perfection.

Erica: I don’t know. It’s a good color but the neck and the neckline just look super-weird.

Jason: She looks like an alien.

Erica: And Jason usually loves her.

 

Sienna Miller

oscars 2015 sienna miller

Ian: Ooooh! What’s she in?

Kate: She played Chris Kyle’s wife in American Sniper, and we like her better as a brunette, remember?

Ian: Oh yea.

Kate: I like this dress and extremely fierce makeup. The multiple bows are a little much, but it’s overall nice on her. I HATE the hair — what is this, Little House on the Prairie? When they zoomed in on it during the pre-show it was either a) still wet, b) hairsprayed within an inch of its life or c) both, and that irked me. A lot.

Erica: I’m not sure why I can’t stand her and have, like, visceral euch reactions to her every time I see her. I might be a bad person.

Kate: When do you see her besides at award shows? But that’s how I feel about all the Kardashians. And Miley Cyrus. And Rihanna and Beyonce. Hmm…

Erica: I think you are carrying a lot more anger towards all of those people than I am towards Sienna Miller. But there is something about her that just makes me go bleh.

 

Zoe Saldana

oscars 2015 zoe saldana

Erica: She looks amazing.

Kate: The color looks absolutely beautiful against her skin, but the detail on the hips and the necklace and the hair are extremely unflattering. The spaghetti straps make it look like lingerie.

Erica: Really? I think this is so flattering on her. She doesn’t look as twig-like. This is actually on my best-dressed list.

Kate: No, we have to remove it from that list. She is not twig-like because she just had a baby.

Erica: Oh really? Mazel Tov! The extra pounds look GREAT on you, hon!

 

Kate: So, Best Dressed?

Erica: Rosamund Pike! And I say this without really knowing anything about her. I didn’t see (and probably won’t see) Gone Girl and I don’t know anything else she’s done and I have never read an interview with her or anything. I just love, love, love her dress.

Kate: I am ok with that, but can Best Dressed be a tie between her and Marion Cotillard?

Erica: Yes. Absolutement.

Kate: Yay! Worst Dressed?

Erica: You know, I really feel like they all stepped up their game tonight. I’m not giving it to Lupita, partly because she has too much credit with me and partly because, yes, I don’t like the dress, but, I feel that the dress accomplished what it meant to accomplish. I don’t want to give it to Gwynnie because, as stupid-looking as it was, it made me laugh. Kerry Washington’s done worse, and her hair and make-up were perfection. I think that leaves Naomi Watts for me.

Kate: Or Emma Stone?

Erica: Yeah, but I liked Emma Stone’s hair and make-up better than I liked Naomi Watt’s hair and make-up. It should be noted, though – the credit Emma Stone has as my dream bff DOES NOT COUNT toward red carpet looks. And she has ZERO credit there.

Kate: Well then who do we give Worst Dressed to!?

Erica: I want to give it to Naomi Watts. You can give it to Emma Stone if you like. Or we can have another tie.

Kate: Ok, I can give it to Naomi Watts. That does it for us for award show season, folks — sad face! But don’t you worry, the dynamic duo will be back this summer for So You Think You Can Dance season 12 — auditions are already under way!

Erica: You guys, I’m doing Zumba now, so by May, I might think *I* can dance!