Emmys 2015

Kate: Fashion Police on E! is back, and SO ARE WE with the 67th annual Primetime Emmy Awards!

Erica: Yeah, we’re back from the not-even-a-week-long hiatus we took between SYTYCD and this.

Kate: I’m curious as to why E! didn’t ask us to replace Kelly Osbourne and Kathy Griffin.

Erica: Please. We are way too classy.

Kate: Well put your mittens around your kittens and AWAY we GO!

Allison Janney
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Erica: I love Allison Janney so very much. And I love this dress.
Erica: It reminded me of an Alice Temperley collection I loved a while back, but, you know, shiny, and formal. And I thought it was just the right mix of classy and sexy for this occasion/person.
Kate: It’s pretty sexy for an older gal, but I think she looks great.

Amy Poehler

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Kate: Solid basic black choice, but what has she done to her hair?

Erica: I kind of like it.

Kate: I want to like it, but it’s throwing me off. I think I have to sit with it for a little while.

Erica: That’s okay. I understand. Change is hard.

Kate: I do not have to sit with those crazy rubbery bracelets, though; they suck. But, she’s Amy Poehler, and Parks & Rec was such an amazing treat for the world, and she looks like she does not give one f*ck, as usual, so WHATEVER! Yay Amy!

Erica: I feel like, as with most of the people this time around, the ensemble is fine. Not exciting, not beautiful, but not dreadful either. Fine. Also, yes, Parks & Rec <3, and also yes, not giving a f*ck, yay!

Amy Schumer

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Kate: Ok, I love this color. A lot. I want to emphasize that.

Erica: Yes. The dress itself is fine and the color is lovely.

Kate: However. I HATE the hair, and think the eye makeup is way too dark. I’ve been watching a lot of her show and she always pokes fun at herself for not being that pretty/skinny/whatever, but she actually is, especially with very light (in terms of colors and amount) makeup, like with a nice peachy lip gloss to play up her fair skin and light hair, and with her hair in very loose tousled ringlets. This is on the opposite side of the tousled spectrum. Like I’m wondering if she actually meant for her hair to look like that.

Erica: Yeah, I thought maybe the hair was going to be part of a bit of some kind. And then when she and Amy Poehler went up to present the first award and did that little beautification thing in front of the stage, I thought, “Oh, they’re going to fix it!” But. No. Not so much.

Kate: The neckline of the dress isn’t the most flattering either — a necklace may have helped — but, again, absolutely love the color and love her very much.

Anna Chlumsky

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Kate: Oh, she wanted to wear a DNA diagram on her dress.

Erica: See, I first saw this when she was in the audience and I kind of liked it. I thought it was romantic and fetching. Then I saw a picture of her from the front and realized that no, it was not at all fetching. But I did love her enthusiasm every time a Veep person won.

Kate: By enthusiasm you mean crazy intense faces? I pretty much hate this. Her hair looks nuts.

Erica: I don’t mind the concept of the hair, which I know you do, but it looked pretty frazzled.

Ariel Winter

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Kate: Luurrrvvveeeeeee.

Erica: Yeah? I mean, she looks very nice. But I don’t know that I LURVE.

Kate: Absolutely perfect shade of red, perfect silhouette, perfect hair, perfect perfect perfect. She is one class act.

Erica: It’s a good color for her. I’m not into the waistline and I’m not into the purse/rings and I don’t know. It’s not wowing me.

Aubrey Plaza

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Kate: LOVE THE DRESS. LOVE.

Erica: Like the dress. Like. She looks sexy and a little chill and it’s a good look for her.

Kate: Also love the angled bob in theory, but in practice it looks a little casual for that dress/this event. A sleek bun like Ellie Kemper’s (see below) may have worked better. Really love the dress, and PERFECT shoes.

Erica: The hair is not quite as sleek as it needs to be and the make-up could be a little stronger. I do appreciate that she didn’t overdo the jewelry.

Kate: Honestly this would already be a best dressed nominee if not for the hair.

Cat Deeley

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Kate: Cat! It’s our Cat! Hi Cat!

Erica: Do you think if we met her in person we’d just start talking to her like we know her and she’d freak out and call the police?

Kate: Yes to the first part, but she’d love us too much to call the police. Um, she’s pregnant? That explains all those weird dresses on SYTYCD!

Erica: You know, I thought it was just light hitting the dress weird, but you could be right. That makes me happy. Cat Deeley should definitely be replicating.

Kate: I am right, pregnancy confirmed. Her hair is absolutely perfectly Cat Deeley-esque, and I think the gold is great on her. A zillion times better than anything she wore all season long.

Erica: Seriously. And we almost never see a side part on her on the show, which I like quite a bit.

Christina Hendricks

attends the 67th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards at Microsoft Theater on September 20, 2015 in Los Angeles, California.

attends the 67th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards at Microsoft Theater on September 20, 2015 in Los Angeles, California.

Kate: Ok so she was on Watch What Happens Live fairly recently and looked way too skinny to me, but this is the Christina I know and love. VA-VA-VOOM!

Erica: I get the feeling her weight fluctuates a lot. She looks fantastic but I do not love the dress.

Kate: I love her hair like that so very much, and I think very few people other than her could pull off that dress. The crazy patterns and textures accentuate and flatter every inch of her body.

Erica: I do love her hair. The dress — I just want to chop off the sleeves. That’s all.

Claire Danes

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Kate: Oh no Angela, this is all wrong. All of it — hair style, hair color, dress color, neckline, silhouette, sequins, chains — ALL WRONG!

Erica: Everything she wears on the red carpet looks like a sack hanging off a skeleton. Claire, either eat a sandwich or dress your skinny frame in a flattering way, please.

Kate: Worst dressed nominee.

Erica: I was going to say, I don’t know that it’s that bad, but tonight was pretty boring in terms of fashion, so yeah, probably.

Danielle Brooks

attends the 67th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards at Microsoft Theater on September 20, 2015 in Los Angeles, California.

attends the 67th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards at Microsoft Theater on September 20, 2015 in Los Angeles, California.

Kate: That neckline with that hair is a little too harsh on her, but the dress itself is a lot of fun.

Erica: Yeah, the hair could be some other way, but I like the dress and I like how much she appears to love it.

Dascha Polanco

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Kate: Oh no.

Erica: Oh. I love her work on the show, though. But no. She looks like a person made famous by being rejected by some horrible old music star on a VH1 reality show.

Kate: She always looks a hot mess on the red carpet, let’s get her a stylist shall we? Brad, are you free to take on another client?

Erica: She needs help. She’s a lovely and talented person but she dresses like…Well, I’m too much of a lady to say what she dresses like.

Elisabeth Moss

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Kate: Oh, so that’s where Amy Poehler’s hair color went.

Erica: She’s been doing that hair for a while now. We do not like, Elisabeth Moss. We like you, but not blond hair on you.

Kate: Not a fan at all. The hair color is way too harsh against her skin. I like the dress color, but the dress itself is rather boring. This falls flat for me all around.

Erica: See, I agree that it’s not the most interesting thing ever, and I hate the hair and I don’t love the red lips with the pink gown, but grading on the Elisabeth Moss curve? It’s fine.

Ellie Kemper

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Kate: For some reason on anyone else I think I’d hate this, but on this adorable woman who plays such an adorable character, I love it. (Please note that it looked a lot better during the Emmys than it does in the photos.)

Erica: I actually like it quite a bit. It’s pretty and interesting, looks well made, flatters her nicely, fits her “brand,” and she (or someone else) styled it well. Good job, Ellie!

Kate: I also love the severity/formality of her hair and clean, classic makeup in contrast to the funkiness of the dress. BEST DRESSED NOMINEE!

Erica: Definitely under consideration.

Emma Roberts

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Kate: ExCUSE ME Julia Roberts’ niece!

Erica: OH! Is that who she is?

Kate: Yes! Hot damn she looks incredible. I love this dress. In ivory or another shade of white, and maybe a slightly less shiny material, it could be a fabulous wedding dress? Kind of looks like mine maybe a little? No? Ok.

Erica: I did like the dress a lot although I thought it was a teensy bit too pale/shiny.

Kate: The only thing that’s throwing me off is the dress being almost the same color as her skin, which we know I don’t like, and the very light hair. This would have been absolute perfection on a brunette. (Sorry blonds, I am usually not this prejudiced against you.)

Erica: Yeah, you usually hate that. I agree, brunette (which she sometimes is, no? Or do I completely not know who Emma Roberts is?), lack of shine, perfect.

Heidi Klum
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Kate: No.

Erica. It’s so bad it’s funny. I’m certain she meant it to be this bad, really.

Kate: No.

Erica: She’s like, “I am Heidi Klum. Let’s test the ‘Anything would look good on me’ theory!”

Kate: THIS IS ⅓ OF BIG BIRD’S COSTUME! NO!

Erica: She does go ALL OUT for Halloween. Maybe this is her dress rehearsal.
Kate: Yes, if she plans to dress up as Big Bird this year.

Jane Krakowski

attends the 67th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards at Microsoft Theater on September 20, 2015 in Los Angeles, California.

attends the 67th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards at Microsoft Theater on September 20, 2015 in Los Angeles, California.

Kate: I think the overall look is very classy and elegant and pretty, and I even like the color blocking, but I CANNOT with the peplum — I thought we were over that! — and I think it would like a lot better as a column instead of a flared skirt.

Erica: It feels like those pieces were just added to the dress to f*ck with us. The dress would be great without them. And her hair and make-up are lovely, and also, I want Jane Krakowski to be in more things.

Kate: So, when CAN we be done with the peplum?

Erica: When can we be done with the shoulders-forward-hunch pose?

Joanne Froggatt

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Kate: I wasn’t going to include her but then I heard that Brad Goreski styled her, so yay!

Erica: I’m sure I know who that is.

Kate: We’ve been over this: He was Rachel Zoe’s assistant, then got his own show on Bravo, now is a Fashion Police judge, and stylist to the STARS. I love the two-tonedness and the silhouette and the ribbonyness of this dress a lot.

Erica: It’s not my usual thing but I like it and it looks pretty on her.

Kate: However, I do not like the hair at all. Way too casual. That’s what my hair looks like a few hours after I let it air dry and it has lost all life. NOT red carpet appropriate.

Erica: Oh, in pics, I thought it looked nice. A little casual, sure, but pretty, and great color. Did it not look as good in motion?

Kate: Nope, dead and flat. Although, in her defense, with that complicated neckline, I’m really not sure what hairstyle would have been better.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus

attends the 67th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards at Microsoft Theater on September 20, 2015 in Los Angeles, California.

attends the 67th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards at Microsoft Theater on September 20, 2015 in Los Angeles, California.

Kate: Ok, we all know how much I love JLD, right?

Erica: Yes.

Kate: I like this, and she looks gorgeous, but I don’t love it nearly as much as her last, like, 20 red carpet looks. It’s just a little basic. And the earrings are a little too much with the dress and the hair is a little too not enough. Ya know?

Erica: I think it’s boring, as most of the fashions were, but damn if she doesn’t look good. She is keeping it seriously tight, and I thought here hair looked gorgeous.

Kate: No, you know what, I take it back. I didn’t mean any of that, she looks perfectly amazing. Please don’t be mad at me JLD!

Julie Bowen

attends the 67th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards at Microsoft Theater on September 20, 2015 in Los Angeles, California.

attends the 67th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards at Microsoft Theater on September 20, 2015 in Los Angeles, California.

Kate: This is a surprisingly safe and classic choice for her — kind of like JLD’s! She usually tries a little harder than this, no?

Erica: I remain convinced that she is lulling us into a false sense of security.

Kate: Well I actually like it. I could do without the third strap around the neck, but without that it’d probably be a little too basic. She’s even channeling her inner Sofia Vergara with that mermaid bottom.

Erica: One day we will be EXPECTING something perfectly classy and nice from her — “Oh, Julie Bowen, yes, she used to dress like a madwoman, but not anymore!” we will say to ourselves, then BOOM! Something horrific.

Kerry Washington

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Kate: It looks like Michael Jackson’s and Prince’s closets got together and had a baby and that baby is this horRENDOUS dress.

Erica: Aw. I was kind of intrigued by this. It was not boring.

Kate: No, it’s gross. Also truly terrible hair. Is that the thing where you tuck long hair under so that it looks like a bob? If so it was very poorly done. SO over you, Kerry Washington!

Erica: I will never be over you, Kerry Washington. Although I did stop watching Scandal. I’m sorry. I couldn’t keep track of who I was supposed to like anymore.

Kiernan Shipka

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Generated by IJG JPEG Library


Kate: I get what she’s doing here and I really don’t like it.

Erica: I don’t know. I’m intrigued.

Kate: There just comes a point where I wonder if people wear things that they actually think look good on them or look good in general, or if they just wear it because they heard it’s on trend or just for the shock value. I don’t appreciate that.

Erica: I feel like she’s definitely making a very fashion-forward choice, but I did actually think it looked good on her, and in general — well, it’s interesting. It is not at all boring. And she kept the hair and make-up really perfect and simple so that it didn’t look like she was wearing a costume. She’s getting to have such an interesting and lovely face.

Kate: Worst dressed nominee!

Lady Gaga

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Kate: Of all the people I would expect to wear a basic black one-shoulder gown, Lady Gaga would never be one of them. Her dress, JLD’s and Julie Bowen’s could be interchangeable.

Erica: That seems to be the thing she’s doing now. Normal.

Kate: As I’ve mentioned a few times now, I don’t really like that unnatural blond hair color on anyone, but damn, she cleans up nice. I really love the makeup. Maybe I should do fake lashes for the wedding…

Erica: The makeup was a little much for me but nice.

Laura Prepon

attends the 67th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards at Microsoft Theater on September 20, 2015 in Los Angeles, California.

attends the 67th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards at Microsoft Theater on September 20, 2015 in Los Angeles, California.


Kate: I think a lot of people are going to disagree with me here, but I like the messy updo. A lot.

Erica: I like it in and of itself (although I will always like her better as a redhead, and in any event, that color is way too harsh for her), but I don’t like it with that particular dress.

Kate: And you know, I like the idea of the dress, but wouldn’t it have been great as a strapless red number WITHOUT the beaded turtleneck cape/shrug thing? They are separate pieces, right?

Erica: Well, then it wouldn’t have been the look she was going for. I don’t like it for the Emmys or for a person her age (she needs about 20 more years before that’s a good look) but I think without the shrug, it’s just another red mermaid dress.

Kate: I seem to recall her having very odd red carpet looks before, though, so I think this is the step in the right direction.

Laverne Cox

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Generated by IJG JPEG Library


Kate: That color again! Is it the color of the night?

Erica: I think we just like that color.

Kate: (It looked very similar to Amy Schumer’s on the pre-show, but not so much in pictures.) The ridiculously yellow neon nails AND shoes ALMOST ruin it, but everything else is flawless. Love the long loose waves, love the dress. The material looks so flawless.

Erica: I like it. I even like the shoes/nails as a contrast color. I usually hate Laverne Cox’s red carpet looks, and I’m happy to see her in something simple but still interesting, with great hair and makeup.

Lena Headey

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Kate: Eh, no.

Erica: I saw her first on stage, not on the red carpet, so my first thought about the dress was that she was carrying it weird. But then I loved her hair and make-up. And I decided I like the dress.

Kate: She usually takes pretty big risks on the red carpet, but I think this would have worked as a more slinky number and not a huge poofy skirt. The color is great, but it’s overall a little too overwhelming for me.

Erica: I don’t know; more slinky would have been more normal/boring. I don’t know that I LOVE this dress, but I like the overall look on her. Also, she was robbed. (Was she robbed? She lost, right?) She was magical on GoT this season.

Kate: I think GoT has won enough things for me to not feel like any of them have ever been/will ever be robbed.

Maisie Williams

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Kate: Oh it’s so weird seeing Arya in a strapless bubblegum pink gown!

Erica: Aw, she should get to feel pretty sometimes!

Kate: I mean, I think she looks nice, but nothing about this really stands out to me.

Erica: It’s a cute dress, but it needs to be a couple of inches shorter, and while I understand why she might want to put furry shoes with it, I don’t think it looked right, and the heel was too chunky. But hey. She only gets to girl it up some of the time.

Maggie Gyllenhaal
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Erica: So I don’t like the two-tone formal dresses, in general, but this one was cut very beautifully out of a lovely material and it didn’t make her boobs look, like, excessively droopy like they usually do on the red carpet, so I kind of have to give it to her.
Kate: Yeah, I surprisingly liked the silhouette of this a lot.
Mindy Kaling
attends the 67th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards at Microsoft Theater on September 20, 2015 in Los Angeles, California.

attends the 67th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards at Microsoft Theater on September 20, 2015 in Los Angeles, California.

Kate: You know what? This color is risky, but I like it on her.
Erica: She has the perfect skin tone for this color. No risk for lovely Indian ladies.
Kate: I don’t love it, especially because the earrings and bag are the same color so it’s just like a lot of that one color, but I think she overall looks quite nice.
Erica: I think she did the matchy-matchy on purpose and I kind of applaud it. Not my usual thing, but she committed and I appreciate that.
Kate: You know who else is wearing a similar color and does not look quite nice? Heidi Klum.

Natasha Lyonne

attends the 67th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards at Microsoft Theater on September 20, 2015 in Los Angeles, California.

attends the 67th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards at Microsoft Theater on September 20, 2015 in Los Angeles, California.

Kate: She also always kind of looks a hot mess on the red carpet, particularly dress length-wise, but I don’t think she actually really cares at all.

Erica: She most definitely 100% does not care at all. This might actually be the nicest I’ve seen her look on the red carpet.

Kate: I also see some way-too-chunky shoes underneath that — shudder — fringe.

Regina King
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Erica. So as long as I was only looking at her from the waist/hips up, I really liked the dress. I love stark white on dark-skinned ladies, and I liked the structure in the top. But the bottom was a tad too structured. And I hate when formal gowns hit right above the foot like that.
Kate: It’s a Christmas tree. She is literally wearing a white/silver Christmas tree on her body. (Great makeup and hair, though.)

Samira Wiley

attends the 67th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards at Microsoft Theater on September 20, 2015 in Los Angeles, California.

attends the 67th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards at Microsoft Theater on September 20, 2015 in Los Angeles, California.

Kate: Yeeeessssssss.

Erica: Absolute perfection. One hundred percent doing everything right.

Kate: Very Lupita. Perfect color on her, flawless makeup (despite the weird facial expressions in the photo). Best dressed nominee, certainly best dressed OITNB cast member!

Erica: Yes, very Lupita. Which is a compliment of the highest order.

Sarah Hyland

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Kate: That’s a great dress, but what is she 36 now?

Erica: Yes. That is exactly the age she should be when wearing that dress.

Kate: She dresses way older than she needs to, and that haircut and super-dark makeup make it even worse. She should take a page out of Ariel Winter’s style book.

Erica: See, I’ve liked previous Ariel Winter looks better than tonight.

Kate: Also don’t love the earrings and matching bracelet (which is halfway up her arm?) with that dress, kind of cheapens it. Also feel like we’ve actually seen this dress before? Maybe on Tina Fey?

Erica: Yeah, I was trying to figure out if this was a Covet dress or something. It looks really familiar.

Kate: On second (or third or fourth) thought, I do like how the shoulder straps continue as one long horizontal strap in the back. Sexy. But, too sexy on her?

Erica: I think it’s just too old. She looked cute at the afterparty. (Still with a bracelet halfway up her forearm for some reason, but it looks cuter there.)

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Sofia Vergara

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Kate: That is the least amount of cleavage I’ve ever seen on Sofia Vergara on the red carpet.

Erica: That is probably a true observation.

Kate: Also, not a mermaid bottom? A slightly underwhelming choice for her but, Jesus Christ, she’s a smokeshow no matter what. Her talking about her perfume to Ryan Seacrest during the pre-show was quite entertaining.

Erica: According to Julie Bowen, she is basically her character.

Taylor Schilling

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Kate: Ugh, no no. This is pretty bad.

Erica: There are some things I like conceptually about this dress, but man, were those concepts executed terribly.

Kate: The asymmetrical neckline is awkward, the color is just OK, the length and ruffle at the bottom are dreadful, and the matchy-matchy shoes? Terrible. I also don’t like the flapper hairstyle but I know that’s like, “in”, right now.

Erica: Hair and makeup are the least offensive things happening. Look, if you are blond and pale, you need to be careful about yellow. That is all.

Taraji P. Henson

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Kate: So she looks pretty sexy, I’ll give her that. But the chain straps? Come on. So tacky. Why are these on more than one person tonight?

Erica: I thought hair and makeup were flawless and I really should be watching Empire, I think, but I did not like the dress and also thought it hung weird on her boobs.

Kate: Is the skirt all fringe? Not a fan. Also not a fan of the very dark purple/blue eyeshadow — too much. Great bob, though.

Erica: I only saw the makeup on stage where it looked terrific.

Taryn Manning

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Kate: Morticia Addams. No.

Erica: She’s so cute. Why doesn’t she dress/style herself like a cute person? Why does she wear dreadful dresses and slick back her hair all weird?

Tina Fey

onstage during the 67th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards at Microsoft Theater on September 20, 2015 in Los Angeles, California.

onstage during the 67th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards at Microsoft Theater on September 20, 2015 in Los Angeles, California.

Kate: She really loves that black-and-white fancy waitress look, doesn’t she?

Erica: I really don’t like that look. At all. I think I’m on the record on this issue.

Kate: I mean I think she looks very nice but it’s not thrilling me.

Erica: Look, if she and Amy would host again, the two of them could wear whatever they wanted and I’d say nothing but nice things about it. Andy Samberg is…Not my favorite.

Uzo Aduba

attends the 67th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards at Microsoft Theater on September 20, 2015 in Los Angeles, California.

attends the 67th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards at Microsoft Theater on September 20, 2015 in Los Angeles, California.

Kate: Similar neckline and hair to Danielle Brooks’ but it works a lot better on Uzo.

Erica: She looked good and was very charming in her acceptance speech. Wait, did she beat Lena Headey? Then maybe Lena Headey did not get robbed. Although, now that I’m thinking about it, while Uzo Aduba’s portrayal of Crazy Eyes is quite fabulous all of the time, this wasn’t a particularly great season for her character the way it was for Lena Headey’s.

Kate: No, Uzo won supporting, Viola Davis won lead. I think I would like this dress a lot more without the black in the middle (or is that navy blue?), but she overall looks very lovely.

Erica: I don’t like the dress, but she looks good in it. I feel about it the way I feel about almost all of the dresses tonight — it’s fine. It’s not my thing but it’s fine.

Viola Davis
poses in the press room at the 67th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards at Microsoft Theater on September 20, 2015 in Los Angeles, California.

poses in the press room at the 67th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards at Microsoft Theater on September 20, 2015 in Los Angeles, California.

Erica: Pretty good dress. Didn’t love the make-up. Didn’t actually recognize her when she first came out because the make-up was not making her look her best.
Kate: The dress is nice but I really don’t like how she wears her hair or makeup so it kind of ruins it for me.

Yael Stone

attends the 67th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards at Microsoft Theater on September 20, 2015 in Los Angeles, California.

attends the 67th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards at Microsoft Theater on September 20, 2015 in Los Angeles, California.

Kate: Ummm why have we not seen her on the red carpet with her fellow OITNB nominees before? She looks incredible!

Erica: Oh! It took me a minute to figure out who she was! She looks cute!

Kate: What a fun, high fashion, couture dress. I want to not like the ponytail with it but I think it really all works very well.

Erica: Yeah, that’s messy updo done well. And the dress is fun, if a little bit heavy-looking.

Kate: Alas, best dressed?

Erica: How do we even pick when this was a night of meh? My personal fave was probably Allison Janney. But she is also my personal fave person. Samira Wiley probably deserves it most.

Kate: Or Ellie Kemper? Worst dressed?

Erica: I mean, Heidi Klum is definitely the worst, but she’s baiting us to say that. So Claire Danes?
Kate: I’ll give them a tie for worst. WARST!

Oscars 2015!

Kate: It’s here it’s here it’s here!!!

Erica: Tonight, we will be joined for a few looks by my resident fashion expert, Zoe. She drew some pictures of outfits, and of the hairstyles and jewelry she thinks they ought to have worn. I will present them below, but first, since we’re not including them in the official look, here are her drawings of Kelly Osbourne’s dress:

oscars 2015 zoe kelly osbourne

Zoe: The back of her dress could use a little cut. It could just take away one frill. The shoes should be a high heel.

Erica: But they are a high heel.

Zoe. I mean like a total high heel. And less black.

 

Erica: – and Giuliana Rancic’s:

oscars 2015 zoe giuliana rancic

Zoe: I feel sort of weird that her body shows. I think it needs to be a little more covered up. It could be a little trimmed — a tiny bit, but not too much. Her hair should be in a bun-braid. The earrings should be a little fancier and longer.

Erica: And also Jason has a comment or two to make.

Kate: Ian does too, when he’s not having an aneurysm while watching Illinois basketball. My favorite Oscars ever is still the one Billy Crystal hosted when Titanic was nominated 30000 times.

Erica: Was that the same one that had Matt Damon and Ben Affleck nominated for Good Will Hunting and he sang, “Matt and Ben/You are so young” to the tune of Cole Porter’s “Night and Day”? Because that was my favorite, too.

Kate: I believe so.

Erica: Also, one quick question for the evening: Am I the only person in the whole wide universe who sees Bradley Cooper and goes, “Fine”? “Fine” as in, “I mean he’s nice looking and all, but does absolutely nothing for me,” not as in, “Fiiiiiine.”

Kate: Stop it, he’s sexy. And awayyyyyyyyyyy we GO!

 

America Ferrera

oscars 2015 america ferrera

Zoe: I think that wherever it needed to be sewed or patched, there should be a gemstone line, silver, like the middle of her dress.

oscars 2015 zoe america ferrara

Erica: I think the dress is really, really lovely. I am impressed.

Kate: Really? I don’t like it at all. I’m not completely sure why, but I don’t. Her hair looks like Katharine McPhee’s at the Grammys, a.k.a. half up and bad.

 

Anna Faris

oscars 2015 anna faris

Kate: Oh this is just so sparkly and pretty. She looks like a twinkly glass of champagne and stardust.

Erica: Yeah? I mean, I think she looks nice enough but I’m not enamored.

Kate: I don’t like her hair that much, but the dress is so freaking adorable I almost don’t care. (Almost.)

Erica: I like her a lot, but I feel like her hair always looks a little meh.

 

Anna Kendrick

oscars 2015 anna kendrick

Erica: Damn, she looks good.

Kate: GORGEOUS! Omg I love this. It’s kind of Ancient Grecian/Egyptian? Love!

Erica: I think it’s more modern than anything else, but it is really flattering on her.

Zoe: I think there should be an opal-studded belt at the middle and a silver necklace with an opal at the end, with a gold frame around it. I think there should be another opal at the top of the neck triangle.

oscars 2015 zoe anna kendrick

Kate: Too much opal, Zoe, and you know how I feel about belts. In some pictures the dress looks pink/coral, in others it looks more red/orange, and the red/orange looks better. The hair is a little more structured than I like hers to be, but she probably had to do that because of the neckline of that fabulous dress. Best dressed nominee?

Erica: I’m not actually as enamored of this. It’s not that there’s anything wrong with it (except that the color looks weird with the red carpet). It looks flawless on her. I just…I don’t know. I don’t love it.

Kate: Giuliana Rancic and Khloe Kardashian were discussing this dress on the pre-show and Khloe said it’s not an “Oscar color” and it looks like she’s “going to a dance”. DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON WHAT YOU WEAR YOU EFFING HORRENDOUS DECREPIT PIECE OF GARBAGE! I’m back on my I-want-to-kill-a-Kardashian rant.

Erica: Oh, I am fast-forwarding but I thought I heard someone say that. It sounded to me like someone looking for something negative to say.

Kate: Well I’ve got lots of negative things to say about the person who said it!

 

Cate Blanchett

oscars 2015 cate blanchett

Kate: Not my favorite from Ms. Blanchett, but she might be close to if not already in that “I don’t give a f*ck” category with Julia Roberts and Meryl Streep.

Erica: I kind of love the statement necklace.

Kate: The boring dress would look a lot worse without the statement necklace, but I think the necklace itself is more I’m-going-to-brunch than I’m-going-to-the-Oscars, so I’m conflicted about it. Don’t like the hair and makeup.

Erica: I think her lip gloss is flawless and I think, once you put the necklace with the dress, you’ve got Oscars.

 

Dakota Johnson

oscars 2015 dakota johnson

Kate: Remember Er, she didn’t write 50 Shades, and she is not actually Anastasia Steele. She just chose to be in the movie. Let’s leave that aside and be objective in our judgment of her outfit.

Erica: I can put that all aside (although, if she wanted me to put aside her 50 Shades connections, maybe she shouldn’t have worn a silver rope on her dress). I still feel like, meh.

Kate: I think this is a little too night-out-on-the-town and slinky for the Oscars. Also, that ponytail? That’s what my hair looks like when I’m in my apartment and I know no one else will see it (minus the bangs, thank God I got rid of those).

Erica: Yeah, I’m not super-excited about the hair or anything to do with the outfit.

Kate: I am overall a little bored by her, I just don’t think she’s that pretty or interesting. But her mom is Melanie Griffith, apparently?

Erica: Yeah, I know that. Her and Don Johnson. She actually looks a lot like Melanie Griffith.

 

Emma Stone

oscars 2015 emma stone

Erica: Oh, man.

Kate: Hate it.

Erica: I don’t hate the hair but I hate the dress A LOT. She continues to be a charming and pleasant person, though.

Kate: Hate the hair, hate the color, hate the silhouette, very upset about the downhill-ness of her red carpet looks from year to year.

 

Felicity Jones

oscars 2015 felicity jones

Kate: Hmmm…I don’t think I love this as much as her Globes and SAGs dresses.

Ian: She’s wearing the wedding cake from Seinfeld.

Erica: So, it’s interesting. And, like I said in our Grammys coverage, I’m into not boring lately. But…I don’t know. I don’t like it. But it is interesting.

Kate: Let’s see. I like the color on her. I think it’s a beautiful and dramatic gown that looks expertly made — very Alexander McQueen — but something about the overall look is just not doing it for me. I’m sad about having that feeling because I love her.

Erica: You know what, maybe I do like it. The more I see it, the more I think, you know, it’s glamorous and well-made and a little cutting-edge and I am looking forward to her red carpet future.

 

Gwyneth Paltrow

oscars 2015 gwyneth paltrow

Kate: Ewwww!

Erica: Heehee.

Kate: That was my exact reaction upon seeing the first picture of this dress: EW. You can do better, Gwyneth!

Erica: My first reaction was, Heehee!

Kate: That shade of pink looks nice against her skin and hair but it’s so yay-we’re-having-a-girl, I can’t stand it on the Oscars red carpet. And that SLEEVE? No.
Erica: I do not like it but I am massively entertained by it. She’s looking kind of orange, no?

Kate: Orange and wearing ice blue eye shadow. I canNOT with you right now, Gwyneth.

 

Jennifer Aniston

oscars 2015 jennifer aniston

Kate: Well this just knocks it out of the park now doesn’t it?

Erica: Very sexy.

Kate: I love it. I don’t love it enough to give her a best dressed nomination because I wish she had done something else with her hair, but I love it.

Erica: I feel like it’s a little too boring for best dressed, but I like her hair. It’s her, you know?

Kate: It must be tough to show up after getting a nomination snub. #TeamJen forever. Why is the world so out to get her?!

 

Jennifer Lopez

oscars 2015 jennifer lopez

Kate: Holy cow. Now that’s an Oscars dress!

Erica: For real.

Kate: I sort of wish one of the nominees had worn this — maybe Felicity Jones, or someone with flat boobs — but it looks great on J. Lo. I really like her high bouncy pony. Makeup is a little too neon.

Zoe: That’s a winner for the night, don’t you think?

Kate: I like it a lot, Zo!

Erica: Me, too. And you know, I like that she usually looks like a sex goddess, and this is more princessy (albeit with a lot of cleavage), but it also looks amazing on her. And it’s my kind of dress, you know? I like Elie Saab. Although Emma Stone is in Elie Saab, too, and I hate that.

 

Jessica Chastain

oscars 2015 jessica chastain

Kate: Ooooh I like. I think?

Erica: I love. I really really really love. She looks fantastic. I already love that color, and I thought I loved it best on blondes but it looks damn good with her red hair.

Kate: It’s very sexy and flattering, and yes the blue looks great on her. Very Christina Hendricks. But the hair and makeup may be a bit too casual/plain, and I do not think she needs the necklace.

Erica: No way, no way, no way. This is in the top five for me.

 

Julianne Moore

oscars 2015 julianne moore

Kate: There’s something about that curved strapless silhouette that is very flattering. I just wish it only had the embellishment on top and bottom and not near the hips; the one near the hips breaks up the dress in a weird way.

Erica: Oh, I think the embellishment at the hips is very flattering and glam.

Kate: I am not so into this color on her, but the sleek low bun with the deep side part might make up for that. Yeah, I think the hair is making up for the color. #Weddinghairpossibility

Erica: I totes think your hair should look like that for the wedding. I mean, except, yours should be brown.

 

Keira Knightley

oscars 2015 kiera knightley

Kate: Her Golden Globes gown was atrocious, then she almost redeemed herself with the SAGs frock. Now she’s back to sucking. I hate this whole entire situation.

Erica: Really? I like this one. It’s romantic and pretty. I would like it if the color were just a little more fine-tuned — it looks like Silly Putty, a bit — but I love the look. I like romance and floral and embroidery. Also, pregnancy is looking good on her.

Kate: Completely disagree.

 

Kerry Washington

oscars 2015 kerry washington

Kate: Oh I’m so glad the peplum is back on the red carpet, said no one ever.

Erica: The thing is, she looks great, even if the dress does not.

Kate: This dress is half mother-of-the-bride, half quilt. Hate it. I feel like Anthony Marantino on that episode of SATC when he goes wedding dress shopping with Charlotte: “HATES IT!” I like her hair, though.

Erica: Yeah. I don’t like the dress. But her hair and makeup and general personality are flawless.

 

Lady Gaga

oscars 2015 lady gaga

Kate: Theeerreeee’s the Gaga we all know and love. She looks quite out of her mind.

Erica: No, but for real, what is going on with her face? I know she’s never been stunningly pretty or anything, but something is happening that looks severely unhealthy.

Kate: I think she has just gained weight, she was alarmingly skinny before. Alas, I hate the gloves. Way to start a stupid trend, Amal!

Erica: Please. On Amal, they were classy and glam. Lady Gaga’s are just…Well, whatever. She’s Lady Gaga. That’s what she does. Most of the time.

Kate: I just don’t like the looseness — elbow-length gloves should fit you right.

 

Laura Dern

oscars 2015 laura dern

Kate: Wow! This is much more interesting than what she usually wears. We never even include her in these posts even though she is at every single award show, but I felt like we had to include her tonight because she is nominated.

Erica: That is interesting. I don’t like it, but it’s interesting.

Kate: I don’t think she needs that big necklace with so much going on all over the dress, and the clutch is too matchy-matchy. Hair also a little too casual, very Jennifer Aniston, but this is overall a good look. Not the BEST, but good.

Ian: She looks like she’s going into a joust match. She’s dressed in a medieval suit of armor.

Erica: In that case, she’s leaving a lot dangerously uncovered. I actually like her hair. I mean, yes, I guess it’s casual, but it also looks really nice.

 

Lupita Nyong’o

oscars 2015 lupita nyong'o

Kate: She would be the one to wear a dress made partially of pearls, and I would be the one to say I do not like it, not one bit.

Erica: I want to like it, I do. I like the concept. And I love stark white on very dark skin. And I like her. But yeah, no.

Kate: There’s a scene in the truly amazing film Burlesque during which Christina Aguilera’s character performs a sexy routine in a shorter version of this. I like the Burlesque dress better. Worst dressed nominee.

Erica: I can’t do it. I can’t give her worst dressed. I like her too much.

 

Margot Robbie

oscars 2015 margot robbie

Kate: Smoke show.

Erica: She looks like sex walking.

Kate: This dress could be too old-ladyish, but I think the hair, makeup, necklace and deep V actually prevent that and make it pretty hot.

Erica: Yeah, totes agree with all of your points.

 

Marion Cotillard

oscars 2015 marion cotillard

Kate: I think you cannot look like this if you are American. There is just something about Europeans, they have an extra layer of elegance and chicness Americans can never even hope to achieve. Maybe that’s why Audrey Hepburn was so perfect.

Erica: She looks amazing and perfect. The dress is daring and interesting and high-fashion. It looks great on her and it’s interesting and glamorous.

Kate: This dress is actually pretty extreme couture — like, it would be great on an American at the Met Ball, but on Marion Cotillard at the Oscars? Effortlessly striking perfection. Best dressed nominee!

 

Meryl Streep

oscars 2015 meryl streep

Kate: Her usual flawless black-and-white, I-don’t-give-a-f*ck elegance. Could do without the belt, but Meryl does not give a f*ck about what I could do without.

Erica: She is the Grand High Duchess of Not Giving a F*ck.

 

Naomi Watts

oscars 2015 naomi watts

Kate: I do NOT like that it looks like she’s wearing a bandeau under her dress. I hate bandeaus. If you’re wearing one, you’re wearing a shirt you bought knowing you couldn’t wear a normal bra under it, and that’s just too silly for me to approve of. I get that the bandeau may just be part of her dress, but I still don’t like it.

Erica: Is she at all comfortable? Like, isn’t she awfully itchy in that? I was reading something regarding what to dress little ones in for weddings (for no particular reason) and it advised that a whole bodice with sparkles, while pretty, was going to itch under their arms like crazy. And that’s all I could think about looking at this.

Kate: I don’t like the dress at all, and I really don’t like the dark purple lipstick against her fair skin and light blond hair. It doesn’t even match the ugly dress!

Erica: Naomi Watts is very pretty but I hate all of this.

 

Nicole Kidman

oscars 2015 nicole kidman

Kate: So I still really enjoy her long bob, but I cannot help but wonder if she has worn this dress before?

Erica: I don’t know. I don’t think so. I don’t much like it.

Kate: I’m also not sure if it’s white or gold or iridescent or all three? The hideousness of that clutch is making me very angry. I blame Covet for my noticing the clutches more than I usually do.

Erica: Blame? Or thank? I really hate the color on her.

Kate: But WHAT COLOR IS IT?

 

Patricia Arquette

oscars 2015 patricia arquette

Kate: This dress is nice and she looks fine, but I was really hoping for something else from her. She knows she’s going to win!

Erica: But I think her thing is to look, basically, fine. I get the sense that she just tries to look appropriate for the occasion, and not, like wildly sexy and glam and amazing. That said, her hair? Not really acceptable for the occasion.

Kate: Agree on the hair. This is actually a very Meryl dress, and Meryl she is not.

oscars 2015 zoe patricia arquette

Zoe: I think there should be better silver earrings. I want the purse replaced with a necklace and a bracelet. I think there should be a repeating frill on the higher sleeve.

Kate: I am not sure how I feel about “repeating frill”.

 

Reese Witherspoon

oscars 2015 reese witherspoon

Kate: The hair, the makeup, the jewelry and the dress are all so very Reese. It’s interesting that she chose to wear white to every award show this year, white is a bold choice.

Erica: She really looks flawless.

Kate: Many will say this is boring, and maybe it is a little bit, but she still just looks so good. I love her. I can’t wait to watch Wild.

Erica: I don’t know, it’s just so smooth and perfect. Her hair, her makeup. It’s not a remarkable dress, but it’s a really great look on her.

 

Rosamund Pike

oscars 2015 rosamund pike

Kate: I do like me some red on the red carpet.

Ian: I likes it!

Erica: Holy moly she looks AMAZING. Very, very, very tiny, but I FREAKING LOVE THIS DRESS. And this whole look. LOVE.

Kate: Agree, she looks fantastic. I like that the dress is less “out there” than most of her other choices, and her body looks hot-damn incredible. I also really like the very simple makeup and hair. Another best dressed nominee! (So far it’s Anna Kendrick, Marion Cotillard, and Rosamund Pike. Just so we’re keeping track.)

Erica: So for me, it’s Rosamund Pike, Jessica Chastain and Marion Cotillard. And maybe Jennifer Lopez, though I agree with you that the makeup is a little much. But I have to say, I feel like these ladies brought it tonight.

 

Scarlett Johansson

oscars 2015 scarlett johansson

Kate: The color and silhouette are fantastic on her. I cannot figure out what is happening on her neck.

Erica: The neck thing looks weird.

Kate: The neck thing is probably too much for me, and the hair is way too punk for the Oscars, but if I just focus on the dress, it’s perfection.

Erica: I don’t know. It’s a good color but the neck and the neckline just look super-weird.

Jason: She looks like an alien.

Erica: And Jason usually loves her.

 

Sienna Miller

oscars 2015 sienna miller

Ian: Ooooh! What’s she in?

Kate: She played Chris Kyle’s wife in American Sniper, and we like her better as a brunette, remember?

Ian: Oh yea.

Kate: I like this dress and extremely fierce makeup. The multiple bows are a little much, but it’s overall nice on her. I HATE the hair — what is this, Little House on the Prairie? When they zoomed in on it during the pre-show it was either a) still wet, b) hairsprayed within an inch of its life or c) both, and that irked me. A lot.

Erica: I’m not sure why I can’t stand her and have, like, visceral euch reactions to her every time I see her. I might be a bad person.

Kate: When do you see her besides at award shows? But that’s how I feel about all the Kardashians. And Miley Cyrus. And Rihanna and Beyonce. Hmm…

Erica: I think you are carrying a lot more anger towards all of those people than I am towards Sienna Miller. But there is something about her that just makes me go bleh.

 

Zoe Saldana

oscars 2015 zoe saldana

Erica: She looks amazing.

Kate: The color looks absolutely beautiful against her skin, but the detail on the hips and the necklace and the hair are extremely unflattering. The spaghetti straps make it look like lingerie.

Erica: Really? I think this is so flattering on her. She doesn’t look as twig-like. This is actually on my best-dressed list.

Kate: No, we have to remove it from that list. She is not twig-like because she just had a baby.

Erica: Oh really? Mazel Tov! The extra pounds look GREAT on you, hon!

 

Kate: So, Best Dressed?

Erica: Rosamund Pike! And I say this without really knowing anything about her. I didn’t see (and probably won’t see) Gone Girl and I don’t know anything else she’s done and I have never read an interview with her or anything. I just love, love, love her dress.

Kate: I am ok with that, but can Best Dressed be a tie between her and Marion Cotillard?

Erica: Yes. Absolutement.

Kate: Yay! Worst Dressed?

Erica: You know, I really feel like they all stepped up their game tonight. I’m not giving it to Lupita, partly because she has too much credit with me and partly because, yes, I don’t like the dress, but, I feel that the dress accomplished what it meant to accomplish. I don’t want to give it to Gwynnie because, as stupid-looking as it was, it made me laugh. Kerry Washington’s done worse, and her hair and make-up were perfection. I think that leaves Naomi Watts for me.

Kate: Or Emma Stone?

Erica: Yeah, but I liked Emma Stone’s hair and make-up better than I liked Naomi Watt’s hair and make-up. It should be noted, though – the credit Emma Stone has as my dream bff DOES NOT COUNT toward red carpet looks. And she has ZERO credit there.

Kate: Well then who do we give Worst Dressed to!?

Erica: I want to give it to Naomi Watts. You can give it to Emma Stone if you like. Or we can have another tie.

Kate: Ok, I can give it to Naomi Watts. That does it for us for award show season, folks — sad face! But don’t you worry, the dynamic duo will be back this summer for So You Think You Can Dance season 12 — auditions are already under way!

Erica: You guys, I’m doing Zumba now, so by May, I might think *I* can dance!

Grammys 2015

Kate: I feel like this may be a bit prejudiced, but I care a wee bit less about the Grammys than other award shows.

Erica: It is the awards show where I go, “Who is this person?” more than any other.

Kate: I just do a better job of keeping up with movies and TV than music — I don’t even know what kids listen to these days. I took a looksee at the nominees while writing this post, though, and I hope Sam Smith and Ed Sheeran win absolutely everything because I a) actually know who they are and b) like their music very much. I also miss Adele.

Erica: Oh, Adele always dresses so pretty, too.

 

Anna Kendrick


grammys 2015 anna kendrick

Kate: SMOKIN’!

Erica: She most certainly is.

Kate: I have to say I’m a little over the suits-on-ladies red carpet trend, but she looks GORGEOUS. I love her hair like that. I want mine to look like that. Best dressed nominee!

Erica: I am always in favor of suits on the red carpet when they look this good. She really looks amazing.

 

Ariana Grande

grammys 2015 ariana grande

Kate: So does her hair just not do anything else?

Erica: I actually just saw one of those listicle things that showed her hair when she first was doing whatever it was she was doing — she’s another Disney Channel refugee, right? — and it was, you know, different. But this has been her look for a while now. I mean, she looks pretty. I don’t know if it’s just her face or she’s affecting that sexy-baby look all the time. It’s a little annoying.

Kate: I don’t think she’s Disney. She looks lovely, but I don’t love the asymmetricalness of the dress. That silver fabric thing looks like it’s stuck to the white dress because of static cling, or something.

Erica: I am not a fan of the dress, really.

Kate: What was even the point of her arriving in that dress? Her performance dress was gorgeous, much better. I kind of want it.


grammys 2015 ariana grande performance

Erica: Oh, yeah, I like those kinds of dresses on you. And it is gorgeous, and it’s not really different enough from the red carpet dress to warrant changing, you know? I mean, it’s different, obviously, but a similar shape and overall look.

 

Beyonce

grammys 2015 beyonce

Kate: I’m not even saying this because I’m a Beyonce hater, but she doesn’t look that good.

Erica: Are you a Beyonce hater? I am not particularly a Beyonce hater — I’m not a fan, but I respect and admire her talent, her self-control and her business acumen. I’m not loving this, though.

Kate: I am 100% a hater. Her hair is too long and flat, her makeup looks barely done and she has definitely already worn this dress or 20 others just like it. OVER YOU, BEYONCE!

Erica: The dress is nice but nothing special, the hair could be better, and yeah, the makeup is practically nonexistent. But also — every picture I saw of her was of her standing like this. Are her hips in danger of falling off if she doesn’t hold them in place? Is there something wrong with her elbows and she needs to keep them in exactly that position for the rest of forever? What’s going on, Bey?

 

Charli XCX

grammys 2015 charli xcx

Kate: Do we even have to discuss this one?

Erica: Ah, it’s my first “Who the f is this?” of the evening!

Kate: She sings songs that are currently popular, I think. This COULD work if the suit weren’t so effing wrinkled and ill-fitting, and if the bowtie were not such a vomitous shade of pink, and if the fur were a) clean and b) more of a contrast to the suit. But all of that awfulness with that gross hair gross makeup and even grosser attitude? No thank you. (Unfortunately, I do like the shoes If only her toes weren’t STICKING OUT OVER THEM.)

Erica: I would just lose the fur entirely, iron the suit, and then I think you’ve got something. Something a little whacky, a little off, but I like whacky and off at the Grammys. The hair, yes, the hair needs improvement. By which I mean shampoo.

 

Ciara


grammys 2015 ciara

Kate: I don’t understand why Ciara is all of a sudden a fashion person — she hasn’t had a popular song since I was in high school, and she didn’t dress all that well then.

Erica: Wait, before we discuss the dress, can we discuss her arms and shoulders for a minute? Because holy hell, woman. You look good.

Kate: Ya. But this is pretty but way too over-the-top couture for the Grammys, for someone not even nominated. I would rather see Beyonce in this, even though I am a Beyonce hater.

Erica: See, I love over-the-top couture for the Grammys. And I like this and I think it looks awesome in it. And okay, yes, this is a lot of look for someone who’s not even nominated, but hey, why not look awe-inspiring anyway?

 

Gwen Stefani

grammys 2015 gwen stefani

Kate: What DOES she do to her face? She keeps getting prettier!

Erica: I am feeling so many things right now. Things I can’t seem to put in order.

Kate: I do not like the pants, or pantsuit, whatever it is, but I like the top of it a lot. And I love her makeup. I feel like her hair always looks like that, so that’s fine.

Erica: I don’t mean to love this. It is a jumpsuit. A capri jumpsuit. With that awkward bagginess in the hips, thighs, crotch area. As I am typing this, I recognize that these things should be vomitous. And yet…and yet. I think I love it. I think it may be the Platonic ideal of Gwen Stefani Grammy outfits. I don’t know what’s happening to me right now. I’m having some sort of existential crisis.

 

Iggy Azalea


grammys 2015 iggy azalea

Erica: I know who she is. And I’m not a big fan. And do we not think her face doesn’t look quite human? Is it the makeup here? Because she looks like what would happen if an alien tried to disguise itself as human and got it almost right. She is the personification of the Uncanny Valley.

Kate: I absolutely hate the hair. Really, I wish she had shaved it all off rather than done that awful braid crown thing. The dress, however, is excellent.

Erica: It is a cool dress.

Kate: It flatters her body incredibly, and I adore that color. (Have I said that enough this award show season?) It could have been a tad longer since she’s so tall and it has that mesh part on the bottom, but overall a great dress. Also, I like the very natural (but tan) makeup. Not alien-y to me.

 

Jennifer Hudson

grammys 2015 jennifer hudson

Kate: Remember when Jennifer Hudson was, like, THE highlight on all red carpets at all award shows for a couple of years?

Erica: Yeah, those were good times.

Kate: Unfortunately, this is way too casual. I like her edgier hair and makeup, I am even mostly ok with the choker necklace, but I really don’t like the dress. It doesn’t even look like a well-made too-casual dress.

Erica: I think she looks nice, if not remarkable. The dress is a good silhouette for her and I like her hair short. She could use a better bra.

 

Jessie J

grammys 2015 jessie j

Kate: I am not a fan of the slicked back hair, but this is a great Grammys dress — elegant with a little edge. Her performance dress was alarmingly similar; like, why bother with both?

Erica: This is pretty much the perfect Grammy dress. Glamourous and flashy and a bit edgy. The hair is a mistake and this picture makes her look like the joker. Also, is she wearing those talon-esque nails? A lot of them were, weren’t they? I hate those nails.

Kate: Agree.

 

Katharine McPhee

grammys 2015 katherine mcphee

Kate: Hmmm.. I like the color, but it’s overall a liiiiiitle too cheap prom for me.

Erica: I loathe the dress.

Kate: Also do not like the hair at all. And are the things in the middle of the cleavage gold or bronze and her earrings are silver? Come on.

Erica: Yeah, come on, Katharine McPhee. You cannot act to save your life, but you are a very pretty girl and you can sing very well. Do better.

 

Katy Perry

grammys 2015 katy perry

Kate: She is actually an extremely pretty girl, and I always want her to wear something a little weird that is still stunning. This dress is not that — the length paired with the shoes is not at all flattering. Maybe if it were more of a sleeveless sweeping ballgown, in that same material/color? AND THE BELT. DAMMIT WITH THE BELT.

Erica: Maybe. I feel like she makes a lot of choices that are weirdly old-lady-ish. She is very pretty, though.

Kate: The hairstyle is nice, if not a little casual, but the color? Come on. I don’t like it on Kelly Osbourne, I sure as heck don’t like it on Katy Perry. Fab makeup though.

Erica: I hate that the color has those black roots, like, on purpose.

Kate: Actually, it must have been a wig, because she had very slicked-back black hair for her performance.

Erica: I kind of thought her performance ensemble was cool.

grammys 2015 katy perry performance

Kate: I thought this was a great performance — no bells and whistles, just singing. Yay Katy!

 

Kim Kardashian

grammys 2015 kim kardashian

Kate: If everyone were allowed to kill one celebrity, I might choose Kim Kardashian. Or her mom, or her sister (Khloe). Truly some of the worst possible human beings on the planet.

Erica: I do not feel the rage you feel towards her. Probably because I’ve never seen her show so I don’t actually know how terrible a person she is.

Kate: She looks absolutely ridiculous. Worst dressed nominee.

Erica: Look, Kim, you wanted sexy bathrobe, but you missed it. You missed it because of those stupid pockets and the overall shapelessness and the fact that your hair looks like you might actually have recently gotten out of the shower and your makeup isn’t really helping that impression at all. But mostly you missed because J. Lo already did sexy bathrobe. She did it 15 years ago and she did it way, way better than you.

grammys 2015 grammys 2000 jennifer lopez

Kate: KIM ALWAYS TRIES TO DO A SEXY BATHROBE AND SHE LOOKS HORRIBLE EVERY TIME! GRRRR!

Erica: To my friends — yes, that was 15 years ago. Yes, we are very, very old now. Sorry.

 

Lady Gaga

grammys 2015 lady gaga arrivals

Kate: I miss when the Grammys were all about Gaga — what creature/machine she was going to ride in on, what type of edible product she would decorate her body with, what mindf*ck of a performance she would deliver. Did she simply just out-crazy herself?

Erica: What is happening with her face?

Kate: This is crazy in that it is so normal (for her). Probably a little too sexy, and it doesn’t need the necklace or the matching green earrings. I think I am most alarmed by the normalness of her hair.

Erica: No but what is happening to her face? This looks like a drag performer doing Lady Gaga.

Kate: Also, are she and Tony Bennett sleeping together? Very touchy-feely during their pre-show interview.

Erica: Ew, Kate. How am I supposed to sleep with that image in my head?

 

Madonna

grammys 2015 madonna

Kate: Oy vey.

Erica: Whatever. I love it.

Kate: I’m ashamed to call her my neighbor.

Erica: It is very much not boring. You go on with your crazypants self, Madonna. You are welcome on any red carpet I’m looking at.

Kate: But it was uncomfortable to watch her perform. She looked like she was about to fall over any second.

 

Meghan Trainor

grammys 2015 meghan trainor

Kate: I have obviously heard her quite catchy “All About That Bass” song, but I always thought it was by a non-white girl, so whenever anyone said “Meghan Trainor”, I pictured Megan McCain, as in Senator McCain’s daughter. So there’s that.

Erica: Really? You’d never seen the video? Or heard one of her complaints about the song, that a white girl claiming to be the one who was “bringing booty back” was a bit appropriative?

Kate: Oh, and this dress is horrible.

Erica: It looks like a less attractive version of the on Jessie J is wearing.

 

Miley Cyrus

grammys 2015 miley cyrus

Erica: I kind of think this is perfect for her.

Kate: She looks a hair classier than usual, but the dress could do with, like, 4-6 fewer cutouts.

Erica: You know, it’s the Grammys. The dress is totally Grammys appropriate and I like that it’s simple and that she kept the hair and makeup and jewelry simple and just kept the point of interest the insane amount of cuts.

Kate: I would have liked it more with better makeup. She’s still a bag of trash.

Erica: Kate! That isn’t nice! And she isn’t a bag of trash! I really think something happens to the girls who go through the Disney mill. That is not a healthy place to be.

Kate: She brags about doing drugs and instagrams naked pictures of herself in the tub. Trash.

 

Miranda Lambert

grammys 2015 miranda lambert

Kate: I like how her lipstick coordinates with those pink straps, but other than that this falls a little flat for me.

Erica: It’s her hair. That’s what’s falling flat.

Kate: I like her hair shorter, but the style itself is too casual for a red carpet, even if it is “just” the Grammys.

Erica: Well, her husband wore blue jeans.

Kate: Don’t even.

 

Nicki Minaj

grammys 2015 nicki minaj

Kate: I am not a Nicki Minaj fan — personality or music — and I usually hate her red carpet fashion. I’ve always felt like she’s a lesser version of the old Gaga. She has, however, toned it down lately, as evident here, and I really don’t hate this dress. Her boobs and butt are OUT of control, but I really don’t hate this dress. (This is about as positive as I can get about her.)

Erica: There is something about her I find appealing. I don’t know why. This dress is not awesome, but I don’t hate it either.

 

Nicole Kidman


grammys 2015 nicole kidman

Kate: Another SMOKIN’!

Erica: Yeah, she’s looking pretty good.

Kate: I normally don’t like anything resembling a turtleneck on the red carpet, but somehow it works on Nicole. I love the dress and her shorter sleeker hair, and I fully acknowledge that on anyone else I would probably say this dress is too casual, but…Best dressed nominee!

Erica: She’s nominated? Oh, wait, you’re saying, she’s a nominee for Best Dressed. Now I get it.

 

Rihanna

grammys 2015 rihanna

Erica: That is a whole thing unto itself.

Kate: Borrowing from my friends’ group text message: “Rihanna looks like a froofy cupcake”. And not in a good way.

Erica: Hey, I’m not bored. And maybe we’ve been doing this for too long but Not Bored is very big with me these days.

Kate: This monstrosity took up about 3 seats during the show. I hope Fashion Police rips her a new one with this.

Erica: She didn’t show up with that dreadful accessory on her arm, so I’m happy.

Kate: He was there, though, and nominated, and there was a lot of talk/singing about domestic violence.

 

Sia

grammys 2015 sia

Kate: You know something, if her white-blond bob with blunt bangs were not so extremely exaggerated, I might love this outfit. Even with the pants.

Erica: I couldn’t find any pics without the sidekick.

Kate: I’m just not sure why she did this — does she have that Daft Punk thing where she doesn’t want to show her face?

Erica: I don’t think so? Don’t you see her face in music videos and the like? Anyway, I do actually kind of like the cape thing and it looks appropriate with that length of pant even though I do not favor formal capris and the shoes are great and…You know what, I’m even going to be in favor of the crazy hair. It’s a look. It’s an outlandish look, but it’s the Grammys. Why not be outlandish?

Kate: I have confirmed that she does in fact have the Daft Punk thing where she doesn’t like showing her face. She didn’t show it during her performance, either.

 

Taylor Swift

grammys 2015 taylor swift

Kate: I absolutely love the pop of purple on the shoes — like, really love. I want them. I don’t not love the dress, but the short part is just a little too short, and the earrings are too matchy-matchy.

Erica: I see what you mean about the earrings, and I’m not loving the structure of the top. I do flipping love the color, and I agree with you 100% on the shoes. That purple is everything.

Kate: The dress did not need the extra straps, but that’s Elie Saab’s fault not Taylor’s.

Erica: I think the straps look fine. It’s the neck and the lack of any femininity to the top that I’m not super-loving. But I think we are being nit-picky because Taylor’s red carpet game is always on fleek. (Can you tell I learned new slang this week?)

Kate: I do not even know what fleek means.

 

Zendaya

grammys 2015 zendaya

Kate: She is a very pretty person. I usually don’t like the darker purple lipsticks, but it works with her skin and hair. Right?

Erica: I also do not know this person. And I’m not loving the lipstick, not so much because it’s dark purple, but because of the dark liner-lighter lipstick look that I thought had gone quietly into that good night in the late ‘90s.

Kate: The dress is a little curtain-esque, but I think it would be pretty great if the one sleeve were shorter.

Erica: Yeah, I kind of weirdly like it, even if it does look like she just wrapped a piece of fabric around herself and tied it with a matching belt.

Kate: So, best dressed?!

Erica: Oh boy. See. The person who popped to my head first was (sigh) Gwen Stefani. Gwen Stefani. In a capri jumpsuit with baggy crotch! But there it is. That’s who I liked the best tonight. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. My saner self would go Anna Kendrick.

Kate: Then let’s go with Anna! I am ok with Gwen as runner-up. Worst dressed, also worst human?

Erica: I’m guessing the answer is Kim Kardashian?

Kate: CORRECT! Ok people, the next time you hear from us will be the morning after the mother of all red carpets, the award show we wait all year for, say it with me Er!

Both: THE OSCARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SAGs 2015

Kate: So at the end of our Golden Globes post when I said we’d be back for the Oscars, I totes forgot about the SAG Awards and the Grammys. Shame on me!

Erica: And I forgot to Tivo it. So I’m using photos to judge the outfits. Not as accurate, I’m afraid.

Kate: Let’s get right to it.

 

Amy Poehler

sag 2015 amy poehler

Kate: Pretty, very Amy, but hold on — is she pregnant? Were we right about that with the blue dress at the Golden Globes?

Erica: Now, I’m only looking at pictures; I missed the telecast. But I’m voting…Yes? Pregnant? Because normally she’s kinda boxy, so I can’t imagine that she’s just gaining weight in a round shape on her tummy.

Kate: If she’s not pregnant again, I feel extremely mean saying that, but it looks like a very pronounced bump (from the side) that she is purposely showing off. What are we supposed to think, Amy?!?

Erica: I honestly don’t think we’re being mean because she doesn’t look fat, she looks pregnant. And a quick Google search indicates that we’re not the only ones wondering. Either way, she looks great. Did the dress look midnight blue during the telecast? Because at first I thought it was black, and, black, this dress is lovely and more feminine and glam than her usual looks and I am in favor. In midnight blue, I am in majorly more favor.

Kate: Methinks midnight blue.

 

Anna Chlumksy

sag 2015 anna chlumsky

Kate: Well I guess she got rid of that baby weight, dayum Anna! …On second thought, she actually looks too skinny, way skinnier than usual. What happened, Anna?

Erica: I think her weight looks alright; I’m not loving the dress.

Kate: This is a dress I wouldn’t normally like, but it looks very good on her. Perhaps needed one more inch off the hem, though.

Erica: She kind of looks uncomfortable. That “What am I doing here?” look we sometimes see on stars who don’t know they’re stars.

Kate: I do wish she would change up the hair a little — another blowout for the red carpet? We can do better, Vada Sultenfuss.

Erica: Can I tell you, I have legit reasons for not changing my last name when I got married that having nothing to do with Anna Chlumsky, but I also have Anna Chlumsky-related reasons? Because in My Girl 2, when she’s trying to find her dead mom’s high school friends, she keeps running into walls because they got married and changed their last names. So, you know, if one of my high school friends dies and her daughter comes looking, I want her to be able to find me.

 

Claire Danes

 sag 2015 claire danes

Erica: Nope.

Kate: WAY better than the Golden Globes. Way. (Ignoring those scales on the sides.)

Erica: Are you also ignoring the color, the cut and the BELT? Which doesn’t even look like a belt; it looks like something you’d use to fasten the duffel bag you’re taking to sleepaway camp in 1992?

Kate: Ok I am ignoring the scales on the sides and also the belt. I like the color, and I love her hair that way.

Erica: Yeah, her hair looks nice.

 

Danielle Brooks

sags 2015 Danielle Brooks

Kate: Oh my gosh she looks so pretty.

Erica: Taystee? Holy moly she looks awesome.

Kate: Excellent choice for her, very elegant, I love the color and her hair and makeup and accessories. The dress was pulled a little too tight in the belly area, but otherwise perfect.

Erica: Gorgeous color, great shape, love the one-shoulder thing, and her hair and makeup are pure class.

 

Emilia Clarke

sags 2015 Emilia Clarke

Kate: So this looks like an extraordinarily well-made dress and nice and everything, but it’s overall just a little boring for me. I do not like the two-tonedness of it.

Erica: I really totally hate the two-toned thing. And these particular two tones? Dark blue and black? I mean, do I really need to explain what’s wrong with this? Look, people, you can mix neutrals, but you have to be careful. It’s almost never acceptable to mix two DARK neutrals, okay?

Kate: There also seems to be a kind of half-cape thing in the back, which I get is very Khaleesi, but I do not like it.

Erica: She should just dress like Khaleesi all the time. Khaleesi has style.

Kate: I have a Khaleesi bracelet!

 

Emma Stone

sags 2015 emma stone

Kate: No Emma. No.

Erica: I feel like, I get it. I get what this was supposed to be. It’s just…It’s not good.

Kate: I tried to get behind her Globes look, but I cannot with this. It takes “menswear” 70 steps too far. Worst dressed nominee.

Erica: I love her very much but I almost never like her red carpet looks.

 

Felicity Jones

sags 2015 Felicity Jones

Kate: Best dressed nominee. Amazingly chic and elegant. She is rocking her red carpet debut season.

Erica: She looks darling.

Kate: But I still need to see her movie, dangit.

Erica: Who is she again?

Kate: She plays Stephen Hawking’s wife in The Theory of Everything.

 

Jennifer Aniston

sags 2015 jennifer aniston

Kate: I like this green even more than I like Claire Danes’ green — yay green!

Erica: Yeah? I like neither green. Also, hello, boobs.

Kate: That necklace is very Covet IRL. (No one else knows what that means, but that’s ok.)

Erica: I need more people to know what that means. I need more closets to borrow from.

Kate: Hey loyal Fashion Police blog post readers — download Covet and let Erica and I borrow from your closets! Thanks in advance.

 

Joanne Froggatt

sags 2015 joanne froggatt

Kate: It takes very specifically shaped and sized boobs to pull off those pointy cup things. (Very technical fashion term.) I love the dress, and I adore her hair.

Erica: Again, is this reading as black or as midnight blue on the telecast? In black? Elegant and lovely. In midnight blue? ALL THE GOLD STARS, JOANNE FROGGATT. And I’m sorry I don’t watch your show anymore. You’re fabulous; the whole crew is fabulous. I just could not handle the emotion.

Kate: It sometimes looked black and sometimes looked very dark grey and also sometimes looked midnight blue, so I am really not sure. I may be a bit biased toward her red carpet looks now because I know Brad Goreski styles her.

Erica: Who in the what now?

Kate: Brad Goreski was Rachel Zoe’s assistant way back when and then he had his own show on Bravo and now he replaced George Kotsiopoulos on Fashion Police. Duh! (I adore him.)

 

Julia Roberts

sags 2015 julia roberts

Kate: Smokin’.

Erica: I love that “I’m Julia Roberts; I do not have to give a f*ck!” look. It gives her a very special glow.

Kate: THIS is how you do “menswear”, Emma Stone! Take notes!

Erica: To be fair, I think Emma Stone’s dress was going for something completely different. I feel I should mention Julia’s hair, because it looks fabu, but there’s some breaking news for you: “Julia Roberts’ Hair: Fabulous!”

 

Julianna Margulies

sags 2015 julianna margulies

Kate: Fab fab fab fab color. You know I love that royal blue, especially on us dark-haired ladies.

Erica: My computer screen doesn’t even know how to handle that color. It’s pixel-shocked! (That is a compliment. I love the color.)

Kate: Hairstyle is a little too casual for me, and I don’t know how I feel about the skirt in and of itself, but it works for her. Also great makeup.

Erica: I can’t see anything but that color. Good job there.

 

Julianne Moore

sags 2015 julianne moore Kate: She is one of very few people who can actually pull off this color.

Erica: It is a classic green for the redheaded ladies. And it’s a classic for a reason.

Kate: I do not so much love the actual dress itself, but she overall looks very good.

Erica: I think the dress is very pretty but could use some structuring in the bodice area. But she looks fantastic.

 

Julia Louis-Dreyfus

sags 2015 julia louis-dreyfus

Kate: Oooh she’s giving me a little Elaine Benes here!

Erica: Yeah? Because the hair?

Kate: Yes, I love that she did her hair curly. I very much like this dress, but her makeup is a tad lackluster. And it takes a lot for me to say that because I love her so much.

Erica: I like the hair. I like the dress. I agree with the makeup, but this is another event where I feel like we’re seeing a lot of too much makeup and a lot of not enough make-up. Maybe it’s just the sun? Or lack of sun? Whatever the weather is doing to the lighting in LA?

Kate: Or all these HD cameras and HD TVs picking up what people’s faces actually really look like?

 

Julie Bowen

sags 2015 julie bowen

Erica: I kind of like this?

Kate: This is something we have come to expect from Julie Bowen, so it’s fine, but I like how she made her hair a little edgier than usual. No?

Erica: I think this is a lot better than we usually get from her, in that it doesn’t look ill-fitting or like something a crazy person would wear and it’s not a dreadful color. And yeah, I like her hair. But I know she’s messing with me. I know she’s setting me up, giving me a false sense of security so she can really wham me over the head with whatever she’s got cooked up next.

 

Keira Knightley

sags 2015 keira knightley

Kate: Leaps and bounds better than her STUPID Golden Globes dress, but still not all that impressive.

Erica: Is she sporting a bump?

Kate: Yes, she is confirmed pregnant. It’s a great color, obviously one that I like, but it has weird stringy things around the sleeve area, and that half-up hairdo is how I wear my hair to work when it’s dirty or just weirdly wavy. It doesn’t look bad, it just doesn’t look red carpet-y.

Erica: I do love the color, and I love the lace, and since she is pregnant, I love the shape, but if she were not, then that front ruffle would be a little bit of a problem. But you’re right, it doesn’t look red carpet-y. If you got rid of the mesh inset and shortened the whole thing to the knee, it’d make a lovely summer frock. You could even keep the sleeve ties then. But as a red carpet gown, it is not great.

Laverne Cox

sags 2015 laverne cox

Kate: So I get this look for her, like I get it, but it’s not properly tailored. I see actual wrinkles and gaping in the material that shouldn’t be there.

Erica: Even if it were properly tailored, it would be very pageant-y. Although I guess that’s not necessarily a bad thing.

Kate: Interestingly enough, I like her hair? Am I losing it?

Erica: Yes. Yes, I think you might be.

Kate: I accept that.

 

Maggie Gyllenhaal

sags 2015 maggie gyllenhaal

Erica: This makes her look very boxy.

Kate: I am not feeling this at all. Why are these celebrities so into squishing their boobs into submission with these dresses?

Erica: I think she has a weird relationship with her boobs. They never look right in the red carpet gowns she chooses.

 

Maisie Williams

sags 2015 maisie williams

Kate: Adorable!

Erica: I love love love the dress. I am not big on the gothy makeup or the messy hair.

Kate: A bit too sexy though with the boobs? How old is she IRL?

Erica: I just checked; she’ll be eighteen soon. I think this is perfectly appropriate for an almost-eighteen-year-old.

 

Meryl Streep

sags 2015 meryl streep

Kate: So Meryl.

Erica: Continuing to not give a f*ck.

Kate: I just love that I worry about wearing my (new) glasses to a friend’s party at her apartment, and Meryl wears her glasses to red carpet events, like, all the time.

Erica: She is a boss b*tch. She does not have to give a f*ck. Hey, look here!

sags 2015 meryl and julia

Erica: TWO boss b*tches who do not give a f*ck! One with great acting chops, the other with great hair, both with that golden glow that career security and not giving a f*ck lends to one’s skin!

Kate: When I saw that they were sitting at the same table, I was like, “Yup”.

 

Naomi Watts

 sags 2015 naomi watts

Kate: Eh.

Erica: Midnight or black?

Kate: Definitely midnight, this one. Boring, wrinkly. I need something else from her hair; I’m over the deep side part.

Erica: Whatever, she’s pretty and she looks fine. And if it’s midnight, I’m in favor. I love midnight, and I REALLY love midnight on the fair-haired.

 

Natalie Dormer

sags 2015 natalie dormer

Kate: Erm…

Erica: You know what? I like it. It’s girly and it’s silly and it’s fun and it’s not boring.

Kate: The dress is OK, but something about it just isn’t doing it for me. What’s really throwing me off is the fact that a) her hair is the same color as her face, and b) that hair looks like it was braided when it was wet the night before and the braids were taken out just before she got out of the limo.

Erica: Okay, I do not like the hair. She looks much better as a brunette and those eyes and cat-like face are better shown off in an updo.

 

Rashida Jones

sags 2015 rashida jones

Kate: Fun! Not my personal style, but super fun on her. She’s so tan.

Erica: Ooh cute. I really, really like it. Like Keira Knightley’s, you could cut it off at the knees and have a fun summer dress, but unlike Keira Knightley’s, it still looks red carpet-y in its current incarnation. And I love the pop of red lip!

Kate: Ian loves her.

Erica: I approve of him more and more every day.

 

Reese Witherspoon

sags 2015 reese witherspoon

Kate: Ooooh I love a bouncy Reese ponytail.

Erica: It does look cute. The blush is a bit much.

Kate: I loved her Golden Globes dress so much and I don’t understand why no one else did, and I love this just as much. I SEE YOU, REESE! I SEE YOU!

Erica: I feel like you and she would get along really well.

Kate: I don’t know why we’re not besties yet.

 

Sarah Hyland

sags 2015 sarah hyland

Kate: This is a fun sparkly young dress that I don’t hate, but her face frightens me. It was more obvious on the pre-show than in this picture, but her face is soooo heavily made up and her eyes so bugged out of her head to the point where it looked like she was about to pop a blood vessel.

Erica: I like the dress. I like the layers of translucent black over a nude underskirt. and it’s tailored well, at least as far as I can see. I’ll have to take your word for it on the makeup. In pics it looks good.

 

Sofia Vergara

sags 2015 sofia vergara

Erica: It’s not that I wish this dress were a different color. I just wish the carpet were a different color. But then it wouldn’t be a red carpet.

Kate: I am finally off the I-hate-Sofia-Vergara bandwagon. I’m not sure why or when it happened, but I am. I think she looks very lovely. Also I would like to borrow that dress, if only she would tell me how that left boob stayed covered and supported.

Erica: There is some serious support in that bodice. That is structured out the wazoo. Yes, she does look very nice tonight.

Kate: I do, however, prefer her hair bouncy and voluminous instead of pin-straight, and I feel like she wears the same earrings to every red carpet event. That is all!

 

Uzo Aduba

sags 2015 Uzo Aduba

Erica: Oh, dear.

Kate: Mmmm, nope. Not good. Crochet = inappropriate for red carpet. Yellow crochet = inappropriate for everything.

Erica: I mean, she deserves every acting award and accolade she gets. And her bod is something fierce. But this dress. This dress. Well, at least it’s not boring.

 

Viola Davis

sags 2015 viola davis

Kate: Beautiful dress, but not for her.

Erica: Yeah? I feel it’s a little young for her, but not too young. And I love bright white on dark skin.

Kate: I think it’s too bright, I didn’t consider the age-appropriateness of it. I do not like her hair that way, and she looked extraordinarily unhappy to be there.

Erica: Her hair I am not overly fond of. But she did? I saw a nice quote from her acceptance speech?

Kate: She looked unhappy to be on the red carpet, then she won, so I’m sure she felt better. So, best dressed?

Erica: I don’t know. I think my personal fave is Rashida, although that doesn’t mean she’s the best, it just means she’s the most appealing to me. If Joanne Froggatt’s dress is midnight and not black, then for sure her. If it’s black, she’s still a top contender. Although maybe the total preciousness of Felicity Jones should be considered? Or Danielle Brooks for being so on point and exactly what you should look like while walking the red carpet?

Kate: I was thinking Felicity Jones, but shoot let’s give it to Taystee! YAY TAYSTEE GIRL! Worst dressed?

Erica: Man. I don’t want to do this. I don’t. I love her acting and I think she deserves a ton of recognition. But Uzo. I mean. That dress is just awful. It’s just awful.

Kate: Uzo’s dress is not good, but it doesn’t offend me like Emma Stone’s, so I’m giving it to her. Ok people, catch us after the Grammys!

Emmys 2014

We’re organizing by TV show, then alphabetically. Well, by “we” I mean Kate, because she’s cool like that.

 

GAME OF THRONES

Lena Headey

Lena Headey emmys 2014

 

Kate: She is so gorgeous but she always looks so BAD at award shows! Just, like, too masculine and bulky/boxy.

Erica: See, normally, I’d agree with you, but I kind of like this. It’s not perfect, but it’s a little more fun/glam than she normally wears. Also I totally dig her facial expressions.

Kate: And I feel like she always wears black. That’s, like, ok for ME to do, but she should change it up a little.

Erica: I get the feeling that her investment in fashion is pretty nil.

 

Natalie Dormer

natalie dormer emmys 2014

Kate: Is this the chick who married Joffrey?

Erica: Indeed.

Kate: I like this dress, it’s kinda hot. Halloween colors are my thang.

Erica: Halloween colors are not at all my thang. But, other than my hating the color, it’s a nice dress. It seems the right amount of fancy for the Emmys.

Kate: Hair is a little too big, though.

Erica: I prefer her as a brunette.

 

Rose Leslie

rose leslie emmys 2014

Kate: RIP Jon Snow’s slam piece.

Erica: Kate! Such language!

Kate: This is a pretty color on her skin/with her hair, but it’s ill-fitting. Especially on top. Great makeup, though.

Erica: Royal blue on pale redheads is EXACTLY my thang. I don’t know about ill-fitting — I missed any and all telecasts and am just looking at pics online — but the placement of the waist-belt-jewel thing could use some rethinking.

 

Sibel Kekilli

emmys 2014 sibel kekilli

Erica: That is quite a name. I didn’t know the actress’s name before. What is her nationality? Do we know?

Kate: We do not. She basically looks exactly like her character, which I’m not sure I like. It’s a great color but the whole look is overall quite plain.

Erica: This whole thing looks like, “Oh, shit, the Emmys are tonight?! Okay, well…I’ve got this schmatta. Put a belt on it and it’s a formal dress, right? Oh, we’re leaving now?! Okay, let me just throw my hair up.” Also this pic of her and Tyrion hanging like she didn’t UTTERLY BETRAY HIM and also SLEEP WITH HIS FATHER is weirding me out, yo.

sebil kekilli and tyrion lannister emmys 2014

 

GIRLS

 

Allison Williams

allison williams emmys 2014

Kate: She continues to be too skinny, right?

Erica: Yeah. Her arms, man. I mean, maybe that’s just her body and we should stop being snide, but the entertainment industry being what it is, I doubt that she’s not feeling some pressure.

Kate: Very pretty dress, though, very couture. Actually, very Audrey. I just wish she would wear that gorgeous hair down.

Erica: I am so digging the dress. It is, it’s modern Audrey.

Kate: What’s funny is, she and Zooey Deschanel presented together and looked like they were wearing each other’s dresses.

 

Lena Dunham

emmys 2014 Lena Dunham

Kate: This just isn’t even funny.

Erica: Wait a second, there’s a specific reference being made here, right? Like…Gwen Stefani circa 2000? I don’t know. I’m feeling some kind of deja vu.

Kate: It could be a nod to Gwen’s wedding dress, but my eyes are deeply insulted by having seen this entire thing.

Erica: I don’t mean to be mean, but the thing is, Lena Dunham is not very attractive. I mean, not by entertainment industry standards. And even by regular people standards, she’s okay looking but not gorgeous. So when you look like Lena Dunham and you work in an environment like this one, I can definitely understand the impulse to be like, “Fuck it,” at awards shows, you know?

Kate: No, I don’t know. I don’t understand the concept of purposely looking bad. Or making that face in pictures.

 

MAD MEN

 

Christina Hendricks

Christina Hendricks emmys 2014

Erica: Meh.

Kate: She has lost too much weight. She was gorgeous before, and the result of the weight loss has made this whole thing look unkempt.

Erica: Is it weight loss, though? She doesn’t look remarkably skinnier to me. I think it’s that the dress is kind of cheap and sh!tty-looking. Like an even cheaper version of Sofia Vergara’s usual style. Also, what’s happening with her hairline?

Kate: I do think she lost weight, but there are other factors here. Agree on the hairline.

 

January Jones

January Jones emmys 2014

Kate: Hate it.

Erica: Don’t…Mind it? I don’t know, it’s not my thing, but for her, with her usual whack-a-doo-ness, it’s fine.

Kate: I thought it looked O-KAY on the pre-show, but it looks terrible in pictures. Hate the bangs, hate the cut of the dress, hate the shoes. Damn you, Betty. Damn you.

Erica: The bangs are truly horrific.

 

MODERN FAMILY

 

Julie Bowen

julie bowen emmys 2014

Erica: I’m not commenting on her because I know she’s just f*cking with me.

Kate: TURTLENECK.

Erica: I mean, it’s better than usual, but it’s a trick. It’s to lull me into a sense of complacency, a sense of, “Oh, look, maybe Julie Bowen got a new stylist and she’s not going to walk around looking like a crazy person at awards shows anymore!” But then the SAGs or the Golden Globes will happen and BOOM! Back to crazytown. I’m not falling for it. Julie. NOT. FALLING. FOR. IT.

Kate: Fun pattern and overall style, including the shorter hair and nice makeup, but TURTLENECK.

 

Sarah Hyland

Sarah Hyland emmys 2014

Erica: On the one hand, THE ‘90S ARE BACK, BABY! YEAH! On the other hand, I hated the midriff-baring-top-with-poofy-skirt the first time around.

Kate: Um, this is cute? It’s kind of what Kerry Washington wore that one time? (Can’t find picture)

Erica: And also what Bianca wore to the prom in 10 Things I Hate About You.

Kate: I generally feel that she dresses too old.

 

Sofia Vergara

sofia vergara emmys 2014

Kate: Brace yourself…

Erica: Bracing…

Kate: Are you ready for this? I don’t think you’re ready for this.

Erica: I’m trying to be…

Kate: …I like Sofia Vergara’s dress.

Erica: *Gasp*

Kate: On the right person I like that very structured strapless top look, and Sofia is the right person. And I like that she played on the bright white trend with a little silver. I don’t, however, like her hair lighter.

Erica: It does look much nicer than previous gowns. Still totally a “her” dress but not so boring or cheap-looking.

 

ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK

 

Danielle Brooks

danielle brooks emmys 2014

Kate: Taystee!

Erica: I do adore her.

Kate: I love the character and the show so so much, but this dress does not look good on her. I won’t rip it apart out of respect for Taystee, but it’s pretty bad.

Erica: Really? I’m not having much of a problem with it. I’m not loving that puckering at the hip but overall it’s not bad. And I love white on a very dark-skinned person, and her hair is cute and spunky.

 

Dascha Polanco

dascha polanco emmys 2014

Kate: Oh my good gracious, that is so ill-fitting on top I cannot even.

Erica: Yeah. You must accommodate the boobs.

Kate: Also, horrible makeup. Lovely hair and dress silhouette/color, but I cannot get past that top. Oh my gosh.

Erica: Lovely hair.

 

Kate Mulgrew

kate mulgrew emmys 2014

Kate: I share a name with Red in real life! I’m honored.

Erica: As well you should be.

Kate: So I don’t mind this at all for an older woman red carpet look. It’s not amazing, but it’s Red. Yayyyy Red.

Erica: Royal blue on a pale redhead. Lovin’ it.

 

Laura Prepon

laura prepon emmys 2014

Kate: Oh no.

Erica: Attack of the peplum!

Kate: Oh no no no no no, no.

Erica: Seriously, though. That peplum decided it would not be confined, as so many peplums had been before. It wanted to run freeeeeeee!

Kate: She is so pretty on the show — except, you know, no prisoner has perfectly flippy/wavy hair like that — but this is just the absolute worst!

Erica: Hey, maybe Alex and Sophia are really tight and Sophia does her hair every day. You don’t know.

 

Laverne Cox

laverne cox emmys 2014

Kate: Um, is this a transvestite in real life, too? Or this is actually a woman?

Erica: Dude, learn to be a little more progressive. As far as I know, Laverne Cox is transgendered (not a transvestite), which does not mean she’s not ACTUALLY a woman. She is ACTUALLY a woman; she just wasn’t born with a woman’s body. (And I just learned that she has a twin brother, who played pre-transition Sophia on the show. Which I had actually been wondering about, and now I know. Yay, Internet!)

Kate: Well, man or woman, this doesn’t work for me. It’s too bright a white and looks cheaply made.

Erica: Yeah, I can’t disagree with you there. She can do better.

 

Natasha Lyonne

natasha lyonne emmys 2014

Kate: So this is nice, but I don’t like the length at all. I really like the lace, I just wish it were cocktail or floor length and flowy-er, as opposed to that awkward length that looks good on, um, no one.

Erica: I feel like she and I should be friends.

Kate: Good color, though. Also, I want nothing more than to put her OITNB character’s hair in a sloppy bun.

Erica: The length and the structure of the frill at the bottom are not terrific. And are those black shoes with a navy dress? See, we should be friends; I could help her.

 

Samira Wiley

samira wiley emmys 2014

Erica: Poussey! I love Poussey, too.

Kate: She is a striking individual, and I think this dress looks great on her. It’s not my favorite shade of yellow, but she pulls it off with simple makeup, minimal jewelry and toned-@ss arms.

Erica: Yes, Hollywood actresses, take note. Samira Wiley can pull off bright yellow. Most of the rest of you cannot.

 

Selenis Levya

selinis levya emmys 2014

Kate: Mendoza!

Erica: Holy sh!t, I didn’t even recognize her.

Kate: Excuse me but I think she looks great. She’s giving us Rita Moreno as Anita with those ruffles and that sass pose, and I am a big fan.

Erica: She does look pretty good.

 

Taryn Manning

taryn manning

Erica: It’s not so much the dress I dislike. It looks a lot like something Kristin Chenoweth wore and I liked it on her and they have similar body types. By which I mean they are both teensy-tiny. But…How does she look like a meth-head even when she’s not on the show?

Kate: No, it looks like something chewed up and spit out Kristin Chenoweth’s dress onto Taryn Manning, who absolutely looks like her meth-head character here. Very disappointing.

Erica: She is always cast as the white trash girl. (Sorry, I just yelled at you for not being progressive enough, and then I used the phrase “white trash”. But, I mean, that stereotype exists and that’s what she’s cast as. I’m not being terrible and hypocritical; I’m just responding to the entertainment industry’s terribleness. Right? Right.)

Kate: I recently looked her up to see if she is actually super pretty in real life, and she looks different in every single photo. Different in a bad way. But, she’s in the Manning family, so she’s pretty well off.

Erica: Wait, the Manning family, like Eli and Peyton are her brothers? For real?

 

Taylor Schilling

taylor schilling emmys 2014

Kate: This didn’t photograph as well as it looked on the pre-show; I thought she looked very elegant and Naomi Watts-like.

Erica: Not to be my own grandmother, but I think it needs a slip or something. And a bra!

Kate: I think it’s the photo; it really looked great on the pre-show.

 

Uzo Aduba

uzo aduba emmys 2014

Kate: Amazingly enough, Best Dressed Orange is the New Black Actress goes to Crazy Eyes!

Erica: Yeah, she is doing everything right with that look.

Kate: Seriously, she looks so elegant. I love that shade of red, and it’s a great neckline.

Erica: She accommodated the boobs! Very important.

 

VEEP

 

Anna Chlumsky

anna chlumsky emmys 2014

 

Erica: I like the shape of the top on her. It’s not bad.

Kate: This isn’t bad but it also isn’t great — why is everyone wearing this bright-@ss white?!

Erica: That is a good question. And her hair could use a little more oomph. She has that Connie Britton look of “What the hell am I doing here?” a lot of the time.

 

Julia Louis-Dreyfus

julia louis-dreyfus emmys 2014

 

Kate: I mean, how do you spell perfection? J-U-L-I-A.

Erica: You’re so cute, Kate.

Kate: I just always love her red carpet choices; they are always so elegant, perfectly tailored to her, fun colors, just obviously quality design. And that hair? Can I, like, have it?

Erica: Have you looked in the mirror? Don’t you already have awesome hair?

Kate: UGH SHE’S SO PERFECT!

 

OTHER

 

Amy Poehler

amy poehler emmys 2014

Kate: I feel like it’s so unlike Amy to wear so much sparkle, but I think it works well on her.

Erica: There is so much about this that is not very Amy. I thought she was Miranda Lambert for a minute.

Kate: I’m also a big fan of the hair and makeup. But wait, where’s Tina?

Erica: Not on TV anymore. “30 Rock” is over.

Kate: So? She should still attend these things.

 

Cat Deeley

cat deeley emmys 2014

Kate: Cat!

Erica: I literally gasped when I saw this.

Kate:  I think this is quite lovely. Not so much the hair and makeup, but the dress is very elegant and perfectly suited for her.

Erica: OhmygodsoprettyveryfavoritethingI’veseenonher.

 

Claire Danes

claire danes emmys 2014

Erica: Stand up straight!

Kate: Not good. Not good at all.

Erica: No.

Kate: The red is too red, the cutouts are off, the belt over the cutouts is awful. Bad girl, Angela!

Erica: Everything is awful. What is happening around her neck? What is happening with her hair? Is she okay? Is this a cry for help?

 

Debra Messing

debra messing emmys 2014

Kate: Luuurrrvveeee. Lurve.

Erica: All the redheads are in blue tonight (although this is more midnight than royal). I approve.

Kate: This is how you do couture cutouts, people.

Erica: This dress is not in my personal catalog of preferred styles, but it is an excellent example of the style it is, and it looks great on her.

 

Gwen Stefani

gwen stefani emmys 2014

Kate: I have such a vivid memory of listening to your No Doubt TAPES, like, all the time.

Erica: Excuse me, I had No Doubt on compact disc, lady.

Kate: Ok then the CD on that silly little white “boombox” you had. I don’t want to like this ensemble since it’s basically a silver sparkly t-shirt with matching skirt, but somehow, on her, I do.

Erica: Yeah? I don’t really. I don’t like the fit. I dig the make-up.

Kate: I recently saw a promo for her on the new season of The Voice, and I am just amazed at the gorgeousness of her skin. Seriously, wow.

Erica: She is blessed in that department.

 

Halle Berry

halle berry emmys 2014

Kate: I mean, seriously.

Erica: And, in other news, Halle Berry continues to be as beautiful and well-dressed as Halle Berry.

Kate: How does she even exist? How is she here on Earth?

Erica: She was sent by the Mean Girl goddess to make the rest of us look bad.

Kate: She’s just 10000% perfection 10000% of the time.

 

Heidi Klum

heidi klum emmys 2014

Kate: Well, that’s just a vision right there.

Erica: Very pretty. Maybe cool it with the tanner, though?

Kate: Her red carpet choices have been lacking lately, but this is classic Heidi. Meaning, very nice.

 

Julia Roberts

julia roberts emmys 2014

Erica: Great color. Great look. Unusual but still appropriate. Plus she always looks like she’s having a good time.

Kate: I obviously love this.

Erica: Yeah? Good. I’m sort of surprised you do, but I’m glad.

Kate: Honestly, on someone else I might not, but I love that Julia is still showing off those stems. I also love that this is a new take on the sparkly/metallic trend, and that she is showing skin while being tasteful. And what a great color on her.

 

Kate Walsh

kate walsh emmys 2014

Erica: Who is this person?

Kate: Dr. Addison Montgomery-Shepherd on Grey’s Anatomy, DUH! This is a peplum gone very, very wrong, and I don’t like peplums to begin with.

Erica: Really? I think that, if it were possible to do a peplum right, this would be in that category. Laura Prepon’s is a peplum gone very, very wrong.

Kate: It’s a horrible color on her. It’s a horrible silhouette. The jeweled collar — or is that a necklace? — does not work whatsoever, and her normally gorgeous bouncy red hair is too slicked back. Worst dressed nominee.

Erica: It’s a necklace. I think. And, see above — Samira Wiley can wear that color. Kate Walsh, less so.

 

Katherine Heigl

katherine heigl emmys 2014

Kate: Ugh I HATE dresses with long sleeves and collars like that. Heigl WOULD wear this.

Erica: This is way too old for her. This better not be 2014 Katherine Heigl. This better be 2044 Katherine Heigl who travelled back in time to take Katherine Heigl’s place at this particular function so that 2014 Katherine Heigl could go, like, stop the world from ending or some sh!t. And we’ll never know, and the only thanks she’ll get is girls on the internet making fun of her dress.

Kate: The thing is, the rest of the dress is fabulous and would be fabulous on her if it had no sleeves or ridiculous collar.

 

Kerry Washington

kerry washington emmys 2014

 

Kate: Am I looking at the bottom half of her spanks? Or is that a weird piece of material in the middle of her too-high slit?

Erica: So, the lining of the dress is black, so I think that is in fact a piece of material that allows that dress to be less gynecological-exam-ready. Which doesn’t make it right.

Kate: I tend to dislike her red carpet choices while everyone else fawns all over them, and this is no exception. I am digging the orange, but the overall dress sucks. As does her makeup, way too dark. Hair is nice, though.

Erica: As I have said, I do not love orange and black, although this shade of orange looks nice on her, and the dress structure looks…Okay. But she makes some really weird red carpet choices. This is not one of her better ones.

 

Kristen Wiig

kristen wiig emmys 2014

Kate: People loved this, and I hate it. It looks like it doesn’t fit her well at all. And AGAIN with this bright white!?

Erica: Maybe people are loving it because she doesn’t normally go so sex-bomb? But it’s a cheap-looking dress.

Kate: The slit is a very awkward height, and I cannot with the black T-strap shoes with a white dress. Cannot.

Erica: You are so not wrong on that.

 

Lizzy Caplan

 

lizzie caplan emmys 2014

Kate: Um, wow?

Erica: Janis Ian! I always thought she was so beautiful.

Kate: Seriously, this is great. Very elegant, the hair and makeup perfectly match the dress and compliment her features. One might argue that it’s too much of a dress for someone not really nominated/not that big on TV right now, but then one would have to shut up because she looks so great.

Erica: I do not like black-and-white formal dresses. It’s just a thing I have. So I would like it a lot better if the train were black. That said, damn, she looks good.

 

Melissa McCarthy

melissa mccarthy emmys 2014

Kate: Well this is slightly updated from her usual red carpet look, no?

Erica: Nope. Nope, nope, nope.

Kate: I can’t say it’s updated in a good way, though. I am just so anti-poofyness for all occasions.

Erica: Just nope.

 

Mindy Kaling

mindy kaling emmys 2014

Erica: I don’t much like it. I don’t much dislike it either. But it’s not really my cup of tea.

Kate: I like this! I like her hair looking slightly more polished, and I think the dress flatters her. I don’t love the belt and strip of material down the left side — is it some kind of metallic leather?

Erica: I don’t know. Maybe. I’m not a fan.

 

Minnie Driver

minnie driver emmys 2014

Kate: Very pretty color and a gorgeous jeweled neckline, BUT: 1) She is too skinny now; 2) She needed some better undergarments. Not only does she look awkwardly bumpy in her midsection — not FAT bumpy, just bumpy — but I’m pretty sure I saw her strapless bra from the side. Big no-no!

Erica: I find it hard to believe she is wearing a bra. I can see two very prominent bumps right now.

Kate: Alas, she is quite gorgeous.

Erica: Yeah, I like her a lot. But damn, she looks skinny.

 

Robin Wright

robin wright emmys 2014

 

Kate: Oh, Princess Buttercup. Where is your sweet Wesley?

Erica: Not doing nearly as well career-wise as she is.

Kate: This is a no for me. I get what she was going for, and I get that she has the type of look that could pull it off, I just don’t like it.

Erica: The silhouette is right for her. But whatever is happening in the front cheapens the whole thing.

 

Zooey Deschanel

Zooey Deschanel emmys 2014

Kate: Love!

Erica: Yeah?

Kate: Excellent color. Excellent shape. Excellent hair. Best dressed nominee, along with Julia Louis-Dreyfus!

Erica: Maybe it’s the difference between telecast and photograph but to me, while the color is great and the overall shape is great — and the hair is super-fun — the tailoring looks really sh!tty, the length looks weird, and the makeup looks like an afterthought. Also — it’s on the boring side for her. And I’m blaming Tommy Hilfiger for that.

Kate: I like that it’s different from her usual quirky style. And yes, it looked very good during the show (when she was on stage with Allison Williams it looked like they had switched dresses), maybe not so much in the pictures.

Erica: Anyway, my favorite for the night is Cat Deeley. Hers is the only dress that made me gasp. Also a shout-out to Julia Roberts, because there’s always a balance to strike between “new and fresh” and “event-appropriate” and she hit that sweet spot with a big smile on her face.

Kate: My favorite is obv-i-ous-ly JLD. What about worst dressed?

Erica: Claire Danes?

Kate: She’s up there, but I’d go with Laura Prepon. (It’s a shame OITNB didn’t win anything, though).

Erica: Well, we can give them “Worst-Dressed Actress on a TV Comedy”, then.

The Met Gala, Or, Satin Wrinkles Like Crazy, People. Like CRAZY.

That’s right, folks — we no longer limit our fashion police posts to award shows. Red carpets of the world, beware!

Adele Dazeem

met gala 2014 - idina menzel

Kate: Hah, get it?

Erica: Yes. Yes, I do.  I don’t know for whom I feel more sorry, her or John Travolta, but either way, we are never going to give this up.

Kate: This is a bit too bridal for me, and her normally gorgeous hair looks stiff and weird. I feel like she is still recovering from the Oscars shakeup.

Erica: I am not a fan of this look. I am surprised you haven’t made anything of the lipstick.

Kate: It’s a little much against the light dress, light skin and dark dark hair, but it doesn’t offend me.

Allison Williams

met gala 2014 - allison williams

Kate: Ok, she’s g-ooooor-geous, but it’s time to get her a new stylist. She keeps wearing the same dress!

Erica: Yeah, but it looks good on her. She’s so pretty.

Kate: And her hair needs to be down at all times. It’s too fabulous for up-dos, like a mini-Connie Britton!

Amy Adams

met gala 2014 - amy adams

Erica: God, she is just gorgeousness.

Kate: I like this a lot better than her usual Oscar numbers, but the color is a smidge too light for her fair skin.

Erica: I don’t have the same thing you do about dresses the color of someone’s skin although I do prefer her in color. But she gets to look like Amy Adams, no matter what the color.

Anna Wintour

 met gala 2014 - anna wintour

Kate: So I know she’s like, the queen of everything, but don’t we think Anna Wintour basically wears the same dress to every event?

Erica: Really? I thought this was unusual for her. Maybe it’s just unusual for the Anna Wintour that lives inside my head.

Kate: And hasn’t her hair not changed in decades? I mean…

Erica: That is correct. It’s her “thing.”

Anne Hathaway

met gala 2014 - anne hathaway

Kate: Not sure what that facial expression is all about, but she looks lovely. I just do not love the structured crop top, at all.

Erica: No. It is not a good choice. I find I generally do not like her fashion choices. Which is not to say I don’t like her.

Beyoncé

met gala 2014 - beyonce

Kate: This is a bejeweled bathrobe with a peplum. I’m done.

Erica: I actually . . . I mean, I don’t like it. But I’m kind of seeing the kind of look she’s aiming to pull off and I get it. And I appreciate it.

Kate: I most assuredly do not.

Blake Lively

met gala 2014 - blake lively

Kate: I looooooooooooooooooove.

Erica: Holy moly, I have never seen her looking this good.

Kate: This dress is so perfect for her body – shape, material, color, everything. I’m not fond of the red earrings and red lips, or the hairdo, but the dress is stunning. Best dressed nominee!

Erica: I kind of do like the red, actually. But she’s not nominated for . . . Oh, you’re saying you are nominating her for Best Dressed of This Post. I getcha.

Charlize Theron

met gala 2014 - charlize theron

Kate: So it’s Charlize Theron, but…It’s not that flattering?

Erica: Well, I’m on the record as not really liking black-and-white evening wear, and this certainly isn’t an exception to that.

Kate: The tuxedo jacket over the shoulders is a little much, and the dress is nice, I just expect more from her I guess.

Claire Danes

met gala 2014 - claire danes

Kate: Angela, your dress is wrinkled!

Erica: I swear I’ve seen this dress before. In Jessica McClintock. When I was prom dress shopping in 1999.

Kate: I do love her with blonde hair, though. So young and fresh looking.

Erica: I suppose. Her make-up’s a little off, though.

Diane Kruger

met gala 2014 - diane kruger

Kate: The fact that she was cast as Helen of Troy still bothers me every time I see her face.

Erica: What’s happening with her hair?

Kate: This is O-K. The two skirts thing is interesting, but the color makes her look washed out.

Erica: The two skirts thing would be interesting if the dress made more of it. As it is it’s too subtle to be interesting and instead just looks weird.

Dianna Agron

met gala 2014 - dianna agron

Kate: Oy.

Erica: Yeah, I got nothing. This is really terrible looking. Dianna, you’re such a pretty girl!

Kate: Not good Dianna, not good.

Dita Von Teese

met gala 2014 - dita von teese

Kate: Ok so I know she is generally a ridiculous human, but I wanted to include her because I actually LOVE this dress.

Erica: I in fact do not find her to be ridiculous. I find her to be mostly fabulous. And yeah, this dress is killer.

Kate: The mermaid bottom is exceptional and the whole gown is perfectly tailored – very elegant and professional. She is not messing around.

Erica: What’s crazy is, this dress isn’t even as nice as the one she wore the next day just for, like, walking around (and knowing full well she was going to be photographed walking around, but still.):

dita von teese

Emma Stone

met gala 2014 - emma stone

Erica: Still wildly adore her. Still don’t like this.

Kate: I am not even 100% sure why, but I am obsessed with this look. I would normally abhor the braid, as you well know, and everyone was calling it a “Frozen braid” on social media the night of, but it works on her. And the two pinks and the skirt with the slit and the shoes..Just wow. Best dressed nominee!

Erica: Seriously? Kate, is that even you? I mean, I actually like the Frozen braid, but the dress? For real?

Kate: For real! I agree it’s weird for me to love it, but I do dangit!

Gisele

met gala 2014 - gisele

Kate: I’m bored by this.

Erica: I mean, she looks good. But yeah, there’s nothing else to say here.

Hailee Steinfeld

met gala 2014 - hailee steinfeld

Kate: LOVE! How fun is that ballet pink bottom with those ballet pink shoes?!

Erica: Yeah? I’m a little meh on it. I like the shoes, though.

Kate: She is becoming quite the gorgeous young woman – great hair and makeup – and I really love the optical illusion dresses like this create.

Erica: I guess that’s cool but I don’t really like it. But yes, she is gorgeous and her hair and makeup look fantastic.

Hayden Panettiere

met gala 2014 - hayden panettierre

Kate: Finally!

Erica: I think hair, make-up, and shape of the dress work on her. I do not much like the dress itself.

Kate: I’m not obsessed with the colors – tis a bit cotton candy-esque – but she finally looks like the cute actress-turned-singer she is instead of trying to be something she’s not. (I’m alluding to her Golden Globes look; bleh!)

Jessica Alba

met gala 2014 - jessica alba

Kate: Is she pregnant? Or is she trying to make herself look pregnant?

Erica: You thought pregnant? I thought too skinny.

Kate: Either way, I don’t love this. Frump city.

Karolina Kurkova

met gala 2014 - karolina kurkova

Kate: I don’t really know who this person is, but I wanted to include her because this is what I call a Met Gala gown – interesting structure and looks to be a work of art in and of itself.

Erica: I could be mistaken but I think she’s a Victoria’s Secret Angel. And, yes, this dress is the Platonic ideal of Met Gala gowns.

Kate Bosworth

 met gala 2014 - kate bosworth

Erica: Whoa.

Kate: Omg, she is so frighteningly skinny. I actually love this dress and how she accessorized it, and I don’t think anyone much bigger could pull this off, but Jesus H. Christ it almost hurts to look at her.

Erica: Holy shit. I mean, I don’t like all of the magazines that are all, “She’s got an eating disorder, says me, a tabloid writer, and an ‘unnamed source’, and a doctor who has never treated her or seen her in person or done anything other than look at this picture we provided,” but seriously? Seriously? This girl needs some medical attention, stat.

Kate Upton

met gala 2014 - kate upton

Kate: Gah!

Erica: Well, this is pretty weird.

Kate: This could be the most unflattering thing I’ve ever seen on the red carpet.

Erica: Oddly enough, I can sort of see what she’s trying to do here. But yes, mega unflattering. And it’s hard to be unflattering to that face and that body.

Katie Holmes

met gala 2014 - katie holmes

Erica: Suri dressed her. I understand. I also have a fashion-forward daughter and that kind of stuff happens to me sometimes, too.

Kate: Everyone was comparing this dress to Belle’s, and I have to say a Belle costume would have looked a whole lot better than this. What a mess little Joey Potter has turned into, eh?

Erica: The thing is, she’s usually pretty polished. Here, her hair is all messy and her make-up is practically non-existent and the dress is . . . well . . . I mean, y’all can see it, I don’t need to explain. It’s just pretty weird coming from her.

Kendall Jenner

met gala 2014 - kendall jenner

Kate: I continue to hate the Kardashian clan in all possible ways, but Kendall is a striking young woman.

Erica: She’s a pretty girl, for sure.

Kate: This is a lovely dress but she is almost too tall for it, and it should be worn by an Oscar-nominated actress instead of a teeny bopper.

Erica: Her waist is super tiny. I mean, I’m assuming it has help, but still.

Kim Kardashian

met gala 2014 - kim kardashian

Kate: UGH.

Erica: Heehee.

Kate: I just hate them so much. But this dress looks terrible on her. Nice color but unflattering in the boob, hip and leg area, and the shoes with the slit make her legs look terrible.

Erica: The dress is just kinda weird. It looks more bathrobe-y even than Beyonce’s bathrobe. And she’s standing like, “Did you notice I have a slit? DID YOU?!”

Kirsten Dunst

met gala 2014 - kirsten dunst

Kate: Seriously, what has happened to this girl?

Erica: She has the Death Star on her dress.

Kate: I don’t think she was ever too good at the red carpet, but this is just weird.

Erica: I don’t know, man. I mean, if you want to wear the Death Star on your formal gown, where else CAN you do that than at the Met Gala? As far as I know, there are no formal events at ComicCon. My question is, what has happened to her acting career? Has she been in anything lately? Because, IIRC, she’s a damn good actress.

Kristen Stewart

met gala 2014 - kristen stewart

Kate: Just when I thought I couldn’t possibly hate her more.

Erica: If I were writing an SNL skit to send up Kristen Stewart, this is what I’d dress the character in. Kristen Stewart is becoming unparody-able.

Kate: Just stop showing up to these things, you ill-mannered, poorly-dressed Negative Nancy!

Erica: I saw a thing recently, with .gifs of celebrities laughing, and you had to guess who they were. And 99% of them were totally obvious because that’s what those people look like and it wasn’t in any way a challenge at all. The one I didn’t get right away was her. I’d never seen her make that expression before!

Lake Bell

met gala 2014 - lake bell

Erica: I am not a huge fan of hers, but then, I haven’t seen that thing she directed and/or wrote and I think starred in about the girl who makes movie trailers or something? Which actually looked pretty good.

Kate: This is a lovely dress, albeit too matchy-matchy with the red carpet, but she made that crazy face in, like, every photo that night. What’s up, Lake?

Erica: Pregnancy hormones.

Lea Michele

met gala 2014 - lea michele

Kate: Without that weird extra material in the middle, this would be lovely.

Erica: She’s younger than me. I think she’s younger than you. Why does she keep dressing like she’s Joan Collins?

Kate: I do think she takes herself way too seriously these days, though.

Leighton Meester

met gala 2014 - leighton meester

Kate: This would be perfect if it were tailored better, especially at the waist.

Erica: Yeah, I think you’re right about that. Astute fashion analysis.

Kate: Also, her makeup is very drab.

Erica: Oh, on that we disagree. I think it’s simple and natural-looking and nice.

Kate: Drab.

Lena Dunham

met gala 2014 - lena dunham

Kate: I can respect the attempt, but this is not a good look for her.

Erica: It sincerely is not.

Lily Aldridge

met gala 2014 - lily aldridge

Kate: I don’t really know what Lily Aldridge is famous for, but I really love this dress so I wanted to include her.

Erica: Her name is really familiar to me. Although it might be that it was used for a romance novel heroine once. And if it hasn’t been, it ought to be.

Kate: She succeeded in the whole metallic thing where everyone else has failed, I think.

Erica: Yeah, the dress is pretty spectacular.

Lupita Nyong’o

met gala 2014 - lupita nyong'o

Erica: This is kind of crazy-pants but I like it.

Kate: I do not enjoy this particular ensemble, but I do respect it from the standpoint of “This is the Met Gala and we can wear some really out-there things”. You know?

Erica: Yes, that is exactly how I feel about this ensemble, except that I do enjoy it, because I enjoy out-there things.

Margot Robbie

met gala 2014 - margot robbie

Kate: She started out so strong with her Oscars dress, but everything since has been a major disappointment. Is that a bathing suit underneath a mock turtleneck? Come on.

Erica: Who is she? Whatever, this is a weirdly shaped, weirdly fitted dress that is simply unattractive on any level.

Kate: She was in Wolf of Wall Street. And I can’t STAND ankle-length things on the red carpet.

Erica: Totes.

Marion Cotilliard

 met gala 2014 - marion cotillard

Kate: This is fun in an I’m-going-to-a-fancy-lunch-with-my-fancy-gal-pals way, but I do not think it’s appropriate for the Gala.

Erica: I don’t know, I think there’s enough out-there going on to make it interesting enough. I guess it could be schmancier but I’m digging it.

Michelle Williams

met gala 2014 - michelle williams

Kate: Too short, Ms. Lindley! I feel like you are about t0 shopping near the Met, not attend the Gala!

Erica: Yeah, this is more an after-party thing. Her hair looks pretty cute, though.

Mary Kate & Ashley Olsen

 met gala 2014 - mary kate and ashley olsen

Kate: I’m not a fan of the huge coat dresses.

Erica: See, I could see it as part of the whole fashion-history-at-the-Met thing, because there are some late 19th century fashions that very much took the female silhouette with the enormous bustle in the back and the tiny waist and then put masculine styling in, like military epaulettes or business-suit fabrics, and that looked pretty awesome. But these dresses are not structured well enough to pull that off. Which is a shame because I like the concept.

Kate: Also, why are they always SO serious-looking now? Have a little fun every now and then, twinsies!

Naomi Watts

met gala 2014 - naomi watts

Erica: Blech.

Kate: Even though it’s Givenchy, I really don’t like this at all. The half-sheer skirt thing really bothers me.

Erica: I can’t remember a recent Givenchy creation I liked.

Olivia Munn

met gala 2014 - olivia munn

Kate: Lovely! I personally would never expose that much of my breasts at an event like this, but the color is great and she looks all young and tan and refreshed.

Erica: You don’t think she looks sort of like the girl who would play the X-rated version of her? I mean, I like the dress, but that’s the overall vibe I’m getting.

Posh Spice

met gala 2014 - victoria beckham

Kate: She and Kate Bosworth should start an I’m Way Too Skinny support group.

Erica: So I’m playing this game called Covet on my iPad in which you dress up your electronic model in real fashions to compete in various themed fashion events. Recently one demanded that the model be dressed up to look like a re-uniting member of a girl-power ’90s band – because I guess they can’t just say, “Spice Girls”. So I made a perfect little Posh model – and I didn’t win! I was so mad!

Kate: Every time I read an interview with her I like her, but then every time I see her in a photo I don’t. She just tries too hard. This dress is nothing special, and she should have worn her hair up with it.

Erica: I like her a lot better with short hair.

Rachel McAdams

met gala 2014 - rachel mcadams

Erica: She’s in my Top 5 Prettiest People Ever.

Kate: Flawless. It’s just not fair.

Erica: I don’t even love the overall style. She’s just so pretty!

Kate: While the dress is extraordinarily elegant and perfect for her, it is a tad on the boring side for an event such as this. But do you know anyone with a more perfect blowout? I think not.

Rashida Jones

met gala 2014 - rashida jones

Kate: Awful! Looks like something Drew Barrymore would have worn 13 years ago. Makes her look so dowdy.

Erica: Aw, man, Rashida. You’re so much prettier than this.

Reese Witherspoon

met gala 2014 - reese witherspoon

Kate: This is a great color on Reese, but I do not like the shape on top at all. And I never like her hair like that – hello, Pleasantville!

Erica: Do you think she’s been re-watching some of her old movies and taking her styling ideas from them?

Rihanna

met gala 2014 - rihanna

Erica: I kind of go, “Well, it’s Rihanna.” And at least she’s not carting around that creepy accessory on her arm.

Kate: This is gross. NO CROP TOPS ON THE RED CARPET, PEOPLE! (Except Emma Stone’s which is not really all that cropped and which I love unconditionally.)

Sarah Silverman

met gala 2014 - sarah silverman

Kate: I think Sarah Silverman is actually quite gorgeous, but this dress is completely swallowing her. It’s not a great color, the skirt is too big, and her hair is too severely pulled back.

Erica: I kind of like how big it is. But if she did up her hair the way she should have, we might think she gives a shit. Hey, did I ever tell you her sister was the rabbi at the Brandeis Hillel when I was there?

Kate: Neat-o!

Selena Gomez

met gala 2014 - selena gomez

Kate: Along with Kendall Jenner, why exactly is Selena Gomez at the Met Gala?

Erica: I got nothing.

Kate: I actually really like this dress (great color), but for me not Selena. Get outta there.

Erica: Yeah, this would be GREAT on you.

Shailene Woodley

met gala 2014 - shailene woodley

Kate: This is totally weird and different and not like anything I’ve ever seen on the red carpet and I shouldn’t like it but…Something about it on her is working. Maybe it’s the hair?

Erica: This dress is wild and kind of awesome. But is she not wearing shoes? But also, she has a long second toe, like us! And, I’m really glad she did her hair like that, not because I like it, but because before this, I kind of thought she and Hailee Steinfeld were the same person.

Sarah Jessica Parker

 met gala 2014 - sarah jessica parker - back

met gala 2014 - sarah jessica parker - front

Kate: Had to show the front and back of this one because I first saw it from the back and loved it – it’s so something Carrie Bradshaw would wear. I don’t love the huge signature at the bottom (was that really necessary, Oscar?), but from the back I thought it was really swell. Then she turned around.

Erica: Well, you can’t have just as wild a front when you’ve got that on the back.

Kate: It’s OK from the front, but the skirt is so wrinkled! And her hair is CRAZY! Maybe it would have been better without the black leaves on the top of the skirt?

Erica: Actually, I am a fan of the leaves. She looks kind of like a cupcake, but who doesn’t like cupcakes? This is one of my few exceptions to the black-and-white evening gown thing.

Taylor Swift

met gala 2014 - taylor swift

Erica: This is kind of a rare misstep for her.

Kate: I like that this is a bit of a nod to Audrey (reminds me of her famous Sabrina dress), but again with the wrinkly skirt! It’s not well tailored to Taylor.

Erica: She can do better than this. We’ve seen her do better than this. Taylor, I am not tearing you down. There is no special place in hell for me. I’m supporting you to be your best (dressed) self!

Zoe Saldana

met gala 2014 - zoe saldana

Erica: Loathe.

Kate: I really don’t like that ENORMOUS thing – one might call it an oversized peplum? — in the middle of the skirt; if it didn’t have that, she’d look perfect.

Erica: Loathe.

Zooey Deschanel

met gala 2014 - zooey deschanel

Kate: So just because she just did a collection with Tommy Hilfiger, she had to wear him to this event, eh? That’s unfortunate because this is a boring dress and she of all people could have done something really fun for this type of event.

Erica: She’s done a collection with Tommy Hilfiger? Is she regretting having been fashionably interesting all her life and now she’s trying to take it back? Zooey, your job is to amuse us on the red carpet!

Kate: So best dressed? My top 3 are Blake Lively, Emma Stone and Hailee Steinfeld.

Erica: Huh. I go Blake or the Victoria’s Secret girl. Or Dita. I actively hated Emma Stone’s ensemble and didn’t care either way for Hailee’s.

Kate: So Blake! Worst dressed has to be Katie Holmes, right?

Erica: Sadly, I think yes.

 

Oscars 2014

Erica: First, Kate and I would like to share this with you:

hi-res-oscar-dresses-20141

 

Kate: Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Oscars! Fashion! Oscars! Weeeeeeeeeeee!

Erica: You’re welcome. Now on to this year’s glamorous ladies!

Amy Adams

Oscars 2014 Amy Adams 

Kate: Does she, like, actively seek out dresses that make her boobs look oddly shaped?
Erica: Really? I thought we were going to appreciate that it wasn’t another knock-off of her American Hustle wardrobe.
Kate: I think the dress is actually fine, except the boob thing and half-peplum and the fact that she wore blue to the SAGs; it’s the hair that’s seriously throwing me off. I wore my hair like that to a bat mitzvah when I was 12, and it looked as ridiculous on me then as it does on her now. Meh!!
Erica: She’s so lovely, though. And I love that color on her, no matter how often she’s worn it.
Angelina Jolie
Oscars 2014 Angelina Jolie
 
Erica: Meh.
Kate: Um, this is ok. Who’s next?
Anna Kendrick
Oscars 2014 Anna Kendrick
 
Kate: Va va VOOM!
Erica: Yeah?
Kate: I don’t know that the dress needed that middle thing with the red things, or the complicated straps in the back, but I really like the top part. Hair and makeup = FAB.
Erica: I dunno, I wasn’t thrilled with any of this. I am generally thrilled with Anna Kendrick as an actress and singer but this look did nothing for me. Except maybe the shoes.
 
Anne Hathaway
Oscars 2014 Anne Hathaway
 
Kate: I don’t love that neck, and I’m back and forth about the studded top, but I think overall she looks stunning because she is a stunning individual.
 
Erica: Bra.
 
Cate Blanchett
Oscars 2014 Cate Blanchett
 
Kate: So I feel like I said this about her Globes dress, but I wish it had less going on on top. Other than that it is very fabulous and very Cate.
Erica: I think the whole thing is just luscious perfection as is the lady herself.
Kate: But do we think she needed such extravagant earrings given everything going on on the dress itself? And do we also think her hair should have been worn up so that all focus was on the dress?
Erica: I think you’re right about the earrings but wrong about the hair.
 
Charlize Theron
Oscars 2014 Charlize Theron
 
Erica: On the telecast I liked this a lot. Now I’m seeing the bottom and I don’t love it quite as much.
Kate: Loooooooooooovvvveeeee.
Erica: I mean, she still looks fabulous.
Kate: I think black looks quite exceptional on blonds, I really do. I could do without that necklace (which looks like it matches Cate’s earrings, no?), but everything else is wonderful. Best dressed nominee.
Erica: I thought the necklace struck the right note.
 
Emma Watson
 
Oscars 2014 Emma Watson
Kate: She looks a bit of a hot mess, I think.
Erica: I really did not dig her hair at all. The dress is . . . I don’t know. I don’t like it but I can’t work up enough passion about it to hate it.
Kate: The bottom half is nice, but the top is too casual — like something I’d wear to work. And she has not washed her hair recently, that much is certain.
 
Idina Menzel
Oscars 2014 Idina Menzel
 
Kate: Oh, boo.
Erica: Yeah.
Kate: I expected more from her. This is too standard. And the necklace is way too bling for such a muted dark green.
Erica: I mean the dress is kind of nice, if boring, but the color is just sucking the life out of the room.
Kate: And I prefer her hair wavy.  She looked way better during her performance, albeit very nervous:
Oscars 2014 Idina Menzel stage
Erica: Totes. Also, I felt like something was very weird with the sound mixing when she sang “Let It Go” and made her sound like less than the national treasure she actually is.
 
Jennifer Garner
Oscars 2014 Jennifer Garner
 
Kate: Love the grey. Don’t love the tiered fringe. Love the hair.
Erica: Really don’t love the fringe and those shoes I think don’t work.
Kate: I do like that this is a little looser/more daring than her usual red carpet looks, though.
Erica: She is also just so cute. She has that face so I guess whatever she wears is kind of fine.
 
Jennifer Lawrence
Oscars 2014 Jennifer Lawrence
 
Kate: I am disappointed in this for three reasons. Can you guess them?
Erica: 1) PEPLUM!!! 2) Peplum! 3) Peplum!!
Kate: 1) Peplum — enough said. 2) Red — she wore red to her first Oscars. 3) The necklace — she did the long necklace draping down her back last year! Come on, Jen!
Erica: Oh, lord. I love the necklace draping down the back! If they like a color/style/whatever, why can’t they wear it more than once?
Kate: BUT, her makeup looks ex-quis-ite.
 
Jessica Biel
Oscars 2014 Jessica Biel
 
Kate: Boring. Where’s Justin? Why is she there?
Erica: This is my thing with Jessica Biel. Whenever I’m actually looking at her face, I think she’s quite lovely. But the minute I’m not looking at her anymore, I can barely remember what she looks like.
Kate: I’m not a fan of these short, almost choker-length necklaces with strapless gowns. Not flattering, girls!
Erica: I just think it’s overall boring. Her hair and makeup look lovely, though.
 
Julia Roberts
Oscars 2014 Julia Roberts
 
Erica: Julia Roberts is reaching that stage of stardom where, whatever. She’s Julia Roberts. She can wear whatever she wants.
Kate: LOOOOOVVVVEEEE!!!
Erica: Even with the peplum?
Kate: This may be the only peplum in the world I actually sort of like, and I truly love the black lace on my girl Julia. Best dressed nominee.
Erica: I still don’t like the peplum but I really love the top and I like her hair and make-up and also her overall aura of “I’m Julia Roberts. I can enjoy this without particularly giving a shit anymore.”
Kate Hudson
Oscars 2014 Kate Hudson
 
Kate: Oh my.
 
Erica: Yeah?
Kate: I absolutely adore this. If I could make one change it would be to eliminate the droopy half-cape thing, but other than that she is perfection. Another best dressed nominee!
Erica: Really? I only really like the cape thing.
 
Kerry Washington
Oscars 2014 Kerry Washington
 
Erica: Better than her other pregnancy efforts.
 
Kate:  I would very much like for Olivia Wilde (see below) to give Kerry a call and explain how one should dress when one has a medium-to-large pregnancy bump.
Erica: I think this is okay.
Kate: It’s a very nice color, but the shape is potato sack-y, and the bottom is wrinkled. Did we learn nothing from Helen Hunt’s H&M dress last year? And don’t even get me started on that dark lipstick.
Erica: Yeah, the lipstick is a misstep. I’m not 100% against the concept of dark lipstick like you are (although I can’t think of a specific instance where I liked it) but it doesn’t really look good on her or with this dress. And you are right about the wrinkliness. Maybe it happened in the car on the way over?
Kristin Bell
Oscars 2014 Kristen Bell
 
Erica: Yawn. Well, the bottom has some cool stuff going on, but mostly yawn.
 
Kate: I really don’t love this. Poopy color (not literally), unimpressive necklace, blah hair. But I cannot WAIT for the Veronica Mars movie!
Erica: ME NEITHER! I’ve been rewatching on Amazon Prime to get myself back in Veronica Mars mode and oh boy I forgot how much I LOVED that show!
 
Kristin Chenoweth
Oscars 2014 Kristin Chenoweth
 
Kate: I love the short hair!
Erica: She is such a tiny little pocket-sized person.
Kate: I also love the structured top of the dress — only people that tiny can pull it off — but overall it looks a bit too much like an actual Oscar. Too many people have been trying to do that lately.
Erica: I think she might have actively been trying to look like an Oscar.
 
Lupita Nyong’O
Oscars 2014 Lupita Nyong'O
Kate: Alas, her Globes and SAGs red carpet success was too good to be true.
Erica: For real, Kate? For real?
Kate: First of all, the headband. I won’t even elaborate, because you and everyone else know exactly how I feel about that. Second of all, the color. BORING! Of all people there this year, she could have pulled off some ridiculously bold and bright colors; baby blue was a weak, weak choice.
Erica: I thought she looked absolutely, stunningly beautiful. So she went with a softer color. It still looks fantastic on her. I don’t love the headband, true. But I loved the earrings. And she gave such a beautiful speech, too. I almost cried.
Kate: I will give her this — the silhouette and material are extremely lovely, and I am a fan of the subtle sparkle.
Meryl Streep
Oscars 2014 Meryl Streep
 
Erica: So, first of all, when I first saw this picture, I was convinced she was holding her shoes in her right hand. Which would have been hilarious.
Kate: I do not love this dress, or her hair and makeup. I don’t think I care that I don’t like it, though, if that makes sense?
Erica: It makes total sense. She’s Meryl Streep. She’s the absolute queen of I-Don’t-Have-To-Give-A-F*ck-Anymore.
Naomi Watts
Oscars 2014 Naomi Watts
 
Kate: White is so last year.
Erica: Bra.
Kate: I don’t like the texture or the short sleeves, I cannot stand that partially-slicked-back hair thing, and the spiderweb necklace is complete overkill.
 
Olivia Wilde
Oscars 2014 Olivia Wilde
 
Kate: Soooo like, pregnancy has made her hotter, yes?
Erica: I feel like something weird is going on on her face.
 
Kate: Yea, pregnancy weight/glow. I would normally admonish someone for a sleeveless turtleneck on the red carpet, but in black and on her it actually looks fantastic. The little splash of white in the back is very Julia Roberts the year she won for Erin Brockovich, in a good way.
Erica: Yeah, okay.
Kate: Also, is that not the most perfect messy up-do you’ve ever seen?
Erica: Yeah, okay. I guess. I’m bored.
 
Penelope Cruz
Oscars 2014 Penelope Cruz
 
Kate: Not a fan.
Erica: Continuing to be bored out of my mind.
Kate: I’m changing “not a fan” to “I hate this”. The black ribbon belt? Ew. The hair? Double ew. The droopy sleeve thing? No. Also, is it not the same dress as Matthew McConaughey’s wife’s?
Erica: Maybe. Because they’re all boring now.
 
Portia de Rossi 
Oscars 2014 Portia de Rossi
 
Kate: Lovely dress, but I’m not sure why she has adopted the same hairstyle as her wife.
Erica: What is her thing with macrame?
Kate: By the way, has something awful happened to her? She kept making this face like she was in a great deal of pain emotionally and physically.
Erica: Are she and Ellen in trouble?! Say it ain’t so, Gods of Love and Romance and Constancy!
 
Sally Hawkins
Oscars 2014 Sally Hawkins
 
Kate: Oh God no.
 
Erica: I don’t know who this person is. I kept wondering why Carly Rae Jepson was there.
Kate: She was in Blue Jasmine. But like, did a middle schooler do her hair? And did she get that dress from the second-hand store a few doors down from my apartment?
 
Erica: Yes to both.
Kate: At least she sort of coordinates with Cate.
Erica: No. No points for her.
Sandra Bullock
Oscars 2014 Sandra Bullock
 
Kate: Frigging fanTASTIC.
Erica: Her hair is really the best it’s ever looked. And it’s looked damn good before.
Kate: Absolutely love it — hair down and wavy, and a hint of a real smile. Best dressed winner!
Erica: Me, I think I vote for Cate Blanchett. But next year I need someone to wear a bedazzled, three-foot-high headdress or a swan. I’m so bored.
Kate: Worst dressed?
Erica: I don’t know. How do you pick worst-dressed when the worst crime anyone committed was being boring?

Grammys 2014

Erica: So . . . I don’t know who any of these people are. I’m really trying to keep up with contemporary music, but . . . yeah.

Kate: Since I don’t even listen to the radio anymore I am often 3 months late on “new” songs, and barely have any idea who these people are myself. Doesn’t mean I can’t critique their fashion (or lack thereof) choices!

Erica: Also, my theme of the night will be, “No one got funky enough!”

Alicia Keys

Alicia Keys Grammys 2014

Erica: See, this is a little boring. I mean, I’m appreciating that this bright cobalt is apparently the color of the year, and that’s great, but . . . haven’t we seen this dress on Alicia Keys before? In black?

Kate: Yes this is her usual style, and I do love the color, but this looked very unflattering when I was watching on TV so the photo is misleading.

Erica: Her hair and make-up look very nice. Well, her make-up does. Her hair is a little too . . . structured? For my tastes, anyway.

Kate: The hair is a little too Danny Zuko for me.

Anna Faris

Anna Faris Grammys 2014

Erica: See, she looks beautiful . . . for the Oscars. The color looks great on her, her choices when it comes to accessories, hair and make-up are understated and strike the right note. But it’s the Grammys!

Kate: I like the dress itself but I actually think the color is a little drab, as is the color of her hair (too close to the color of her skin!), and up close her makeup looked awful. Like grey soot was around her eyes.

Erica: I mean, it’s not clear to me what she’s doing there in the first place. She’s a comedic actress, not a musician. But, being that she’s known for her goofball persona, couldn’t she have goofed it up a little here?

Kate: My thoughts exactly.

Anna Kendrick

Anna Kendrick 2014 Grammys

Erica: Well, this is definitely more Grammys-ish – but I don’t love it. The color is a little me and it doesn’t really fit her persona or body type.

Kate: Disagree, I love this! She looked pretty hot when she presented on stage, and I need those shoes. I do think it would have been just fine without the holes in the middle.

Erica: That, by the way, is what I wish my hair looked like every day.

Kate: Well, duh. It’s totes Tammy Taylor.

Ariana Grande

Ariana Grande Grammys 2014

Erica: It is not clear to me who this person is, although I did learn that she has an opinion on Justin Bieber, which I suppose tells me everything I need to know. But I think she looks adorable. I’m not a fan of the dark-on-top, light-on-the-bottom “reverse ombre” that seems popular this season, but overall I like it. It’s got a distinct personality and character and she seems to have a little attitude.

Kate: See this is a little too Jessica McClintock prom for me. The shape works, and I do like the pumps, but it’s just not working for me. People were raving about her “pony tail”, which drove me mad because it’s really a half-pony, which is WAY too casual for any event fancier than cleaning your house. In the 80s.

Ashanti

Ashanti Grammys 2014

Erica: On the one hand, this is doing all kinds of weird things to her hips and damn, it is short. On the other hand, Grammys! I like it.

Kate: Good grief I didn’t see this last night, it’s terribly unflattering on her. Cool pattern, though.

Beyonce 

Beyonce Grammys 2014

Erica: She is the queen of everything, isn’t she?

Kate: No, no she is not. The only thing about her that impresses me these days is her body – specifically her teeny-tiny waist in proportion to her massive (in a good way) butt and thighs, and nice-sized boobs.

Erica: Again, HATE the hair color situation. But other than that? This is how you do it.

Kate: The dress is fine, but I really don’t like her hair like that, nor do I like the dark red lipstick. She looks better in a pale lip.

Beyonce Grammys 2014 stage

Erica: No, wait, I made a mistake. THIS is how you do it.

Kate: Humping a chair, and then your husband, on stage, in a thong bodysuit, with wet hair, is how you do it? No. Dislike.

Erica: It was totally hot.

Colbie Caillat

Colbie Caillat Grammys 2014

Erica: This is so weird. The combo of the figure-skater bodice with that . . . shoulder thing? And the hair? Too weird.

Kate: I know, it almost worked as edgy and fun for the Grammys, and the color is fab, but that half-turtleneck is killing me. Top knot is too casual.

Erica: I think I’m abusing the ellipses in this post. I’m sorry, ellipses.

Cyndi Lauper

Cyndi Lauper Grammys 2014

Erica: Okay, one of two things is happening here. Either Cyndi Lauper is the only person who knows how to do the Grammys, or I am the oldest person ever.

Kate: Kate: I can get behind the top, even the cape portion, but the jewel thing is way too aggressive and I HATE the way the bottom of those pants hit those shoes! So unprofesh!

Giuliana Rancic

Giuliana Rancic Grammys 2014

Erica: This is a hard color to pull off. I don’t think her skin tone is quite right. But it’s not bad.

Kate: She is honestly one of my best dressed of the night. I love her hair like that and she wore the perfect earrings for that hairstyle and dress. She usually wears too-elaborate dresses for award shows when she is just the interviewer, whereas this is the right amount of I-should-not-be-in-the-spotlight fab.

Gloria Estefan

Gloria Estefan Grammys 2014

Erica: Oh, Gloria Estefan. You are so fabulous. This dress is decidedly not.

Kate: It would be without the sleeves, I think. But she has not aged badly!

Erica: I’m sorry, but the lace looks like something she got off an aging courtesan at a brothel gone to seed.

Kacey Musgraves

Kacey Musgraves Grammys 2014 arrivals

Erica: So I didn’t know who this person was. And then I put on the Spotify Grammy nominees playlist while I wrote this post and realized I did know who she was and I kind of like her. She’s a little young and child-like in her music but also cute and pleasant.

Kate: She is gorgeous. I dig the fabric of this dress, but I hate the silhouette.

Erica: This dress is an unfortunate choice. I like what she wore on stage and later to the after-party (Yes, the same outfit! On stage and to the after-party! It can be done!) in that it’s very silly and has  lots of personality and she’s young and pretty enough to pull it off.

Kate: Oh yes I kind of adore this and think she should have worn it on the red carpet, on stage and to the after-party. She seriously has a gorgeous face.

Kasey Musgraves Grammys 2014

Erica: Plus her shoes are all kinds of insane. In a good way.

Kasey Musgraves Grammys 2014 shoes

Katy Perry

Katy Perry Grammys 2014 arrivals

Erica: This is very silly. In not as good a way as Kacey Musgrave’s silliness.

Kate: Yup I hate it.

Erica: Her hair is also very structured. I guess it’s a thing this season. I don’t like it.

Kate: I am actually a big fan of the quinceanera bun, when done right. This is outrageously over-the-top. Like, I feel like it may fall off.

Erica: This is what she wore to the after-party.

Katy Perry Grammys 2014

Erica: I mean, I like the color on her. But that’s doing some super-weird things to her boobs and waistline.

Kate: This looks like an adult-size version of something on one of Zoe’s toys. Hate. And the bun is clearly fake hair as her hair was down and wavy after her performance and the remainder of the show, and then magically put back up in this bun for the after-party.

Erica: Tricksy!

Madonna

Madonna Grammys 2014

Erica: Madonna still does what she does best – attract attention.

Kate: She looks decrepit. Like I actually winced watching her on the pre-show and during her performance.

Erica: Do you suppose her other kids were pissed or grateful to be left out of this?

Kate: Decrepit.

Madonna Grammys 2014 stage

Erica: And if you’re going to wear something else for your performance, shouldn’t it be, like, actually different?

Kate: Not when you’re decrepit Madonna.

Erica: Whatever. She’s Madonna. Nothing will dim her star status.

Kate: Except maybe her newfound decrepitness.

Mary Lambert

Mary Lambert Grammys 2014

Erica: Pretty! Although – and now you’ll know I’m about 187 years old – I feel like the tattoo messes it all up. It’s not part of the elegant-glam look.

Kate: Completely agree. I like this a lot better than her VMA dress.

Erica: I feel like we can’t really do this post if we don’t comment on the mass wedding that took place during her song with Macklemore, though.

Kate: At first I thought it was really sweet, and then I thought it kind of made a spectacle of gay marriage. They have a good message, though, so I won’t get too up in arms about it.

Erica: I still don’t know how to feel about it. On the one hand, Yay, gay marriage! Yay, weddings! Aw, did you see those two girls crying as they kissed? That was so nice! On the other hand . . . something about it left a weird taste in my mouth. Maybe because mass weddings have cultish overtones?

Kate: Maybe because of the spectacle aspect.

Miranda Lambert (with Blake Shelton) 

Miranda Lambert Grammys 2014

Erica: I have lately come to like these two. I know it’s country for people who don’t really know country. But I am a person who doesn’t really know country. But they look like people going to two different events. They look very nice for those events, but different.

Kate: Ditto, I actually really like this dress. I do not like her hair and earrings, though, and I really like her performance look, probably better than this dress:

image001

Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton Grammys 2014

pErica: Okay, yes, I don’t know why she’s there, or why she continues to be famous at all, blah blah blah. But seriously? This is awful. And awful in a way that’s not usual to Paris Hilton.

Kate: I know, and people friggin’ loved this! Same hair as Alicia Keys, makeup fine whatever, dress? BLEH! YUCK!

Erica: This is what she wore to the after-party:

Paris Hilton Grammys 2014 afterparty

Erica: And it’s much more in keeping with her overall personal and for that alone I kind of like it.

P!nk

Pink Grammys 2014

Erica: First of all, your name is P!nk! You can’t wear red!

Kate: Oh see I like this.

Erica: Second of all, it’s the Grammys and you’re P!nk! Funk it up a little!

Kate: True, but I think this fits her well. Better than her usual looks.

Queen Latifah

Queen Latifah Grammys 2014

Erica: You look very nice, Queen Latifah.

Kate: Loooooooooooooooooove. Lerve lerve lerve.

Erica: Like I would ever say anything bad about you. Do you want go out for a cup of coffee some time?

Kate: Sure she does!

Erica: With me, I mean.

Sara Bareilles

Sara Bareilles Grammys 2014

Erica: She’s a very beautiful woman normally. Right now, she looks like an anti-Semitic caricature. (I’m allowed to say that; I’m Jewish.) Also that dress is awful. I’m NOT fan of the mullet skirt or the fluffiness or the general unflatteringness of an actually fantastic body.

Kate: Yea this is a little much. Would it be cute without the tail thing? Like if it were just cocktail length?

Erica: Since I like her in general, I must give props to the red-orange heels with the white. I like that decision.

Kate: True.

Erica: She doesn’t look any better on stage, although she does get to sing with Carole King and I don’t.

Sara Bareilles Grammys 2014 stage

Kate: Oh I like this dress better than the white!

Taylor Swift

Taylor Swift 2014 Grammys

Erica: So I’m not a big Taylor Swift fan or anything. I can bop to some of her songs just fine, but I don’t (godforbid) actually like her or anything. And I hate her public persona. I mean, really, girl? Your first big hit is about how you’re so much better a girlfriend than that cheerleading slut and you’re going to call out TINA FEY and AMY POEHLER for not “supporting” other women? Because they gently teased you about your boyfriends? Come on. And I know that she’s usually held up as a better “role model” for her teen audience than all the trashy sluts who are also pop stars. But for my money, “prissy, judge-y hypocrite” is not really better than “trashy slut,” and I dislike the “trashy slut” persona of pop stars more for its inauthenticity and puerile appeal than the notion that pubescent girls and their post-pubescent role models should pretend never to have had a sexual feeling or thought in their lives. And now I’m going into a whole ‘mother blog post, when all I really mean to say is, much as I don’t love Taylor Swift (although I don’t heavily object to her music), I think she really has a handle on dressing herself.

Kate: Yes, I like this dress a lot, and I really like her pony tail and the darker hair (for her) in general. I think the makeup is fantastic. My issue with her is her overpresence in life. Grammys, she should be there. She’s nominated almost every year. Golden Globes and Oscars? No. If she’s invited, I should be invited.

Erica: I like what she wore on stage better, actually – but she always looks very pretty and well-put-together.

Taylor Swift Grammys 2014

Kate: Yes I adore the on-stage dress and hair, and am grateful she did a nice sit-down piano routine instead of her usual spectacle.

SAGs 2014

Erica: Welcome to SAGs 2014. I have to confess, I didn’t watch, so I’m just judging the dresses on how they look in pictures. For all I know, they looked way better in motion.

Kate: I watched (on a Saturday night, what a wild life over here) and everything looks pretty much the same here as it did on screen.

Amy Adams

Amy Adams SAGS 2014 
Kate: Okay, so I luurrrvee the color.
Erica: Yeah. That is a GREAT color on her.
Kate: And I honestly think it would have been perfect had it been just the structured strapless thing or just the off-the-shoulder-with-a-sexy-slit thing up top, but instead it is both and therefore somewhat awful.
Erica: I don’t know, I’m kind of going for it with all of those things. I’m even not minding the belt.
Kate: I also can’t stand that hair — faux bobs, puh-lease.
Erica: Yeah, I’m also going to go ahead and disagree there, too. I get that the concept of a faux bob is annoying, but if one is not thinking about the concept, the hair itself looks great.

 
Cate Blanchett
Cate Blanchett SAGS 2014
 
Kate: I’ve gone back and forth on this, and I’ve decided I like it. I almost love it.
Erica: I wish I had seen this in motion, because in a still picture, I just . . . I’m not sure if I can fully get behind it. The color is great, the concept is interesting, but it’s really saggy in the middle, right?
Kate: Her hair and face are just effing perfect, and the color of the dress could only work on her and, like, Audrey Hepburn. I just wish that sparkly pink detail had been somewhere else other than front and center.
Erica: Yeah. Her hair and face are absolutely perfect, and I like the color. For me it’s less about the sparkly pink and more about the sag.
Kate: And not to sound like a super-@asshole, but when she was accepting her award (yay!) I noticed her earrings matched that sparkly pink detail, like, perfectly, and I didn’t like that. Corny.
Claire Danes
Claire Danes SAGs 2014
 
Kate: Well I can honestly say I’ve never seen anything else like this on the red carpet.
Erica: Yeah . . . and I’m kind of digging that about it. I mean, it isn’t, like, a dress I’d dream of wearing myself. But it looks really cool. Look at it from the back:
Claire Danes SAGs 2014 back
Kate: It’s not amazing, but it’s not offensive. I’m happy she’s back to red hair, at the very least.
Erica: Yeah, her hair and make-up look much better than usual.
 
Elizabeth Moss
Elizabeth Moss SAGs 2014
 
Kate: A vast improvement over the Globes dress, I think.
Erica: Okay, she hired a new stylist this year. I hate to say it, since I hated her more “interesting” looks in the past, but this is kind of boring. Nice, but boring.
Kate: I agree we’ve had enough of these stars wearing the same red as the carpet on which they are walking, though. And the shape is a little meh.
Erica: Also, posture!
Emilia Clarke
Emilia Clarke SAGs 2014
 
Kate: Bah!
Erica: I think you mean, BRA! Like, get one!
Kate: This fits her TERRIBLY! Oh no, she’s got to step up her red carpet game immediately. What would Khaleesi say!?
Erica: Khaleesi would say, “What the f are awards shows? And can I bring my dragons?”
Emma Thompson
Emma Thompson SAGs 2014
 
Erica: Vast, vast improvement.
Kate: Again, an improvement over the Globes dress, and her hair no longer looks like a wig, but what is going on with the bottom there?
Erica: Yes, bottom should be longer.
Kate: Wait, BREAKING NEWS, she was wearing flat sandals! To an award show! OMG that is like, sooooo crazy.
Erica: I love it. Because at the Globes she took off her high-heeled Louboutins because she couldn’t walk in them. She walked on stage with them in one hand and a martini in the other. But I don’t know if they serve martinis at the SAGs. Maybe she figured she’d rather be comfy if there would be no alcohol to numb the pain.
 
Hannah Simone
Hannah Simone SAGs 2014
 
Kate: So like, why is she there? New Girl wasn’t nominated for anything, and Zooey wasn’t there, right?
 
Erica: Yeah, I don’t know. At first I thought I didn’t know who she was. But then I saw a closer picture and realized I did, and she can look way more awesome than that.
Kate: Either way, it’s a little much. I love her hair and makeup and think she is generally gorgeous, but the dress is too long and shmancy for a not-that-important actress (sorry) at a not-that-important award show (sorry sorry).
Erica: I just think it doesn’t highlight how beautiful she is. And the make-up is a little too pale.
Helen Mirren
Helen Mirren SAGs 2014
 
Kate: This is basically what Jiulianna Margulies wore to the Globes, which we adored, with long sleeves, no?
Erica: Yeah.
Kate: Well, I think I like it. I obviously like the first one better, though.
Erica: I think Helen Mirren doesn’t usually dress this much like an old lady.
 
Jennifer Lawrence
Jennifer Lawrence SAGs 2014
 
Kate: We have yet another drastic improvement over the Globes dress, yes?
Erica: Yes. Certainly.
Kate: I still think she could have done better/did in fact do better last year, but she has an incredible body that looks great in this dress.
Erica: I just want us all to bear in mind for a moment that this completely frickin’ fabulous and slim body is considered “curvy” by Hollywood. And we all know in Hollywood, when they say “curvy,” they mean “kinda fat, but for some reason people in Peoria still find her sexy.” And that is super-weird.
 
Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Julia Louis-Dreyfus SAGs 2014
 
Kate: Holy moly
Erica: Really?
Kate: I am flabbergasted by her amazingness. I mean, I know she has serious money, but I don’t think she’s had serious work done, right? She’s just that flawless?
Erica: I think she looks great. But I don’t really love the dress. I really love her hair, though.
Kate: I really love the dress. I would totes wear it.
Julia Roberts
Julia Roberts SAGs 2014
 
Kate: I like the black strapless dress with the sparkly belt over a white button-down much better than this.
Erica: Yes.
Kate: I’m sorry but even if you’re Julia Freakin’ Roberts, ladies of a certain age should cover up their arms. This really doesn’t flatter any part of her body, except maybe her skin tone. The pink is nice.
Erica: Oh, Kate. Her arms look fine.
Kate: Also, these are pants. Unless they are on Diane Keaton, you know how I feel about the presence of those at award shows.
Erica: They are not just pants. They are a jumpsuit. JUMPSUITS ARE NEVER APPROPRIATE, PEOPLE. NEVER, EVER, EVER. Not even when you’re Julia Roberts. Even little kids shouldn’t wear them, because the younger the kid, the fewer the obstacles should be when getting to the potty. True facts, I used to think bikinis for toddler girls were gross. Until I was potty training Zoe. Then bikinis were the best idea ever.
 
Julie Bowen
Julie Bowen SAGs 2014
 
Kate: Hmmm…
Erica: She’s fucking with me.
Kate: The concept is there. I like the bottom patterns, I like the orange in contrast with the black and white, the silhouette is not bad, but something is just not working.
Erica: It’s the fact that she’s fucking with me. That’s what’s off.
Kerry Washington
Kerry Washington SAGs 2014
 
Kate: So she cut the top off Drew Barrymore’s Globes dress and added a hid-ay-ous black floofy skirt?
Erica: No, she cut off the top of something Drew Barrymore wore in Never Been Kissed.
Kate: I think this looks extraordinarily awful. Worst dressed nominee.
Erica: This is . . . I love her so much. I don’t . . . I don’t understand what happened in her brain and/or the brain of her stylist to make this ensemble appear.
Lupita Nyong’o
Lupita Nyong'o SAGs 2014
 
Kate: I don’t want to like all that business on top, but I do.
Erica: I’m fine with liking it. The rest of the dress is so simple, it works.
Kate: The color is freakin’ stunning, especially on her dark skin. That business on top could be somewhat reduced, but overall I think she looks fantastic. Everything just fits her so WELL — she must have a tight little body under there, amazing undergarments, an excellent tailor, or all of the above. Probably all of the above.
 
Erica: I haven’t even seen 12 Years a Slave, but I hope her acting career continues and prospers, if only to see more of her on the red carpet. This is phenomenal.
 
Meryl Streep
 
Meryl Streep SAGs 2014
Kate: I kind of wish she hadn’t worn this because it’s kind of potato sacky, but…
Erica: But she’s Meryl Streep and she sure as hell does not have to give a damn.
Kate: I do love that she wears her glasses to almost all award shows. I feel at my complete ugliest when I wear mine.
Erica: Aw, Kate. Your ugliest is still a lot of other people’s best day.
Mindy Kaling
Mindy Kaling SAGs 2014
 
Kate: I love this.
Erica: Me, too.
Kate: It’s flattering and she looks like she’s straight chillin’ in it — not nominated, just presenting and hanging out with her friends whilst looking great. Yayyy Mindy!
Erica: Yeah, this is very much “Oh, this old thing? Just something I had lying around.” In the best way possible.
 
Rita Moreno
Rita Moreno SAGs 2014
 
Kate & Erica: ANITA!!
Kate: So when I say I want to look like Julia Louis-Dreyfus at her age, I want to look like Rita Moreno at her age. Holy smokes this woman is perfect! She is 82 for crying out loud!
Erica: Seriously? Then yes, wow, she looks amazing.
Kate: Ok, the outfit. I think it’s a pretty bad-@ss jacket over an OK dress — I hope it’s long-sleeved — but overall she looks so bloody fantastic I can’t take it. Look at her SKIN! Can you EVEN?
Erica: I think the outfit is kind of dreadful, but when you have this much sass, who cares? Plus, she’s ANITA!
Sandra Bullock
Sandra Bullock SAGs 2014
 
Kate: Damn, she is ripped. Don’t you like this much better than her Globes dress, Er?
Erica: Well, yes. Yes, I do.
Kate: I love the color and the texture of the dress, and I’d much rather see her awesome leg than Queen Slutbag Angelina’s. (So happy Brad was there without her.)
Erica: Oh for crying out loud. There is nothing wrong with Angelina. Anyway, yes, crazy good body. Good make-up, too.
Kate: I just wish she would start smiling with her teeth again. 😦
Erica: Yeah, I haven’t seen her look happy at an awards show in what feels like forever. Boo-boo, we all sometimes fall for mean, cheating Neo-Nazis. You rock so much harder than that. Cheer up!
 
Sofia Vergara
Sofia Vergara SAGs 2014
 
Kate: So this is the definition of “be careful what you wish for”, because her in a non-mermaid-esque dress is not all that great. I guess she had the right idea before.
Erica: Yeah, she was pretty much wearing the thing that looked best on her.
Kate: It’s very ill-fitting in the middle, and just too much overall. Especially that matchy-matchy necklace.
Erica: Well, she’s kind of a matchy-matchy person.
Kate: Also, she’s seriously getting too skinny. Also also, I want her to go back to her naturally(?) darker hair.
Erica: I think she actually is that skinny; it’s just that when a dress or a particular photo doesn’t highlight her massive boobs, it’s more obvious.
Tina Fey
Tina Fey SAGs 2014
 
Kate: My new obsession with her is probably clouding my judgment a little, but I think this looks great on her. And there is nothing more precious than her bringing her daughter, Alice, as her date, who is so adorably excited and matching her mommy.
Erica: Best accessory of the night!
Kate: Ok so, best dressed?
Erica: I’m thinking Lupita. You?
Kate: I’m comfortable with that. Worst dressed is Kerry Washington no question, yes?
Erica: Yeah. I mean, I love her. I love her so much. I think she’s fabulous. I just don’t understand what happened here.
Kate: Ok folks, tune in next week for the Grammys, where things will probably get a little weird (ahem, Rihanna, Gaga, etc.)!
Erica:Weird is my favorite flavor!

Golden Globes 2014

Allison Williams

Allison Williams Golden Globes 2014
Kate: I absolutely love this. I feel like it’s a pretty unique dress.
Erica: It’s definitely unique. I didn’t see this during the actual event, so I’m not sure how the fabric looks, but it’s interesting while still being fairly elegant. Not my style, really, but I get what she’s going for and it works.
Kate: But I don’t love the slicked hair — her hair is gorgeous, why would she do that?
Erica: I like volume. As a general rule.
Amy Adams
Amy Adams Golden Globes 2014
Kate: This dress is very American Hustle in that it shows 60% of each boob. I wish she had not added that necklace.
Erica: I don’t love this. She’s a beautiful woman, and her hair and make-up look great, and I think she’s a really good actress. I just don’t like the dress. The low-cut-ness of it doesn’t look particularly well-made.
Kate: I like it fine enough, but she looks so much better in the movie than here. Also, when she arrived and when she was sitting she put this like matching coat/cape on, which was insanely awful.
Erica: I didn’t see that. Nor did I see the movie. I am so behind.

Amy Poehler, Dress #1

Amy Poehler Golden Globes 2014 1
Kate: Fantastic!
Erica: Yeah? I think, fine.
Kate: Great hair, very sleek dress.
Amy Poehler, Dress #2
Amy Poehler 2 Golden Globes 2014
 
Kate: I like the first one a lot better, but this is also fine.
Erica: I liked this one better, and I also appreciated that it looked like it went with Tina’s.
Amy Poehler, Dress #3
Amy Poehler 3 Golden Globes 2014
 
Kate: Did they have this many changes last year?
Erica: I think so. I don’t get it. I mean, why bother dressing for the red carpet at all? Why not just get there early for your hosting duties and wear what you’re going to wear on stage?
Kate: I like this one too, but the first one really knocked it out of the park.
Erica: This one is fine, but my favorite is the second. But – winning sure looks good on her!

Cate Blanchett 

Cate Blanchett Golden Globes 2014

Kate: I do not love this, but she can’t possibly look bad in anything.
Erica: Wow, I do love this. I think it’s my favorite of the night.
Kate: I think it’s that one layer of lace at the top — without that, it’d be much better. Also, how is her ass crack not showing in the back? Is there ass crack-erasing makeup now?
Cate Blanchett Golden Globes 2014 back
Erica: Oh. Oh, wow. I did not see that. Although I think I still like it. Also, a) double-sided tape is keeping that thing carefully in place, and b) yes, there probably is ass-crack-covering make-up.

Drew Barrymore

Drew Barrymore Golden Globes 2014
Kate: Absolutely horrid.
Erica: She’s very pregnant. I didn’t know that.
Kate: She looks like an actual cupcake, and one that I would never eat. Hate.
Erica: I feel like, I don’t necessarily like it, but it’s so her that I don’t really mind. But can we talk about ombre hair for a minute? And how it’s not okay?
Kate: It’s the reverse of skunk hair, right? And equally as awful? Yes. Gross. Stop doing this, ladies.
Elizabeth Moss
Elizabeth Moss Golden Globes 2014
Kate: Boy am I glad she’s not blond anymore.
Erica: Me too! Just that is making me rank this look higher than it deserves.
Kate: The dress is a good shape for her, but I am so over the whole sequin thing. And I hate that length.
Erica: Grading on a curve of “Things Elizabeth Moss usually wears on the red carpet,” I give this an A-. Which is not to say I don’t love her! But I don’t love her style. As her style goes, this is . . . fine.

Emilia Clarke
Emilia Clarke Golden Globes 2014
Kate: Mmmm channeling a little Daenerys here, are we?
Erica: Is she? I don’t really like this at all.
Kate: I don’t think the dress itself is phenomenal, but I do think she is an extremely attractive human. It’s really too bad her Breakfast At Tiffany’s on Broadway was so  terrible.

Emma Stone

Emma Stone Golden Globes 2014
Kate: Ew! Emma Stone, you are too skinny! What’s happened?
Erica: Yes. Hollywood, please stop skinnifying our already delightfully shaped humans.
Kate: The dress (or skirt and shirt?) is very ill fitting. It would be a whole lot better if that top color/material were the whole thing.
Erica: I don’t really understand this whole look at all. Dreadful.
Emma Thompson
Emma Thompson Golden Globes 2014
Kate: The ensemble is not my style, but it suits her.
Erica: No. It is awful. From head to toe. And I say this as a deep, deep admirer of Emma Thompson and I was totally delighted with her loopy presentation and the taking off of the shoes and bringing her martini on stage and everything. She is a wonderful human and a talented individual and in my Top 5 of “Living Persons with whom I’d like to knock back a few”. But everything about this look besides her beautiful and perfectly made-up face is awful.
Kate: Also, it kind of looks like she is wearing a wig?
Emma Watson 
Emma Watson Golden Globes 2014 front
Kate: I really love that red, and I need to get the name of her makeup person, but the dress looks like a backwards ’50s house dress. Pants underneath? Come on.
Erica: So I saw her present and thought she looked fine, if unremarkable. I hadn’t seen the back.
Emma Watson Golden Globes 2014 back
Erica: What the fuck? Honestly. But, look, she’s young, she’s experimental, and at least I am not required to be her gynecologist.
Kate: Her hair is way too casual — that’s, like, how I wear my hair to work almost every day.
Erica: Do we like her In Style party look any better?
Emma Watson 2 Golden Globes 2014
Erica: Me, I feel like it’s a little schlumpy and too short.
Kate: No, no we do not.
Hayden Panettiere
hayden panettiere golden globes 2014
Kate: Seriously? Is that from dress from Wet Seal circa 1998, or what?
Erica: I don’t even. She’s so pretty! How does she make these choices?
Kate: And again with the slicked back hair! Gross! She looks 13 years old. Such a shame.
Erica: You know, I do think she’s one of those people who just looks better in cut-offs and a tank, hair in a messy ponytail, playing football with her puppy on the beach. You know?
Jennifer Lawrence
Jennifer Lawrence golden globes 2014
Kate: Ughhh Jen, I hate the dark lipstick! And honestly the dress is a little too similar to last year’s.
Erica: You know, I didn’t like the make-up, but I thought it was done well, if that makes any sense. Like, I’m not big on the goth look, but hers was skillfully applied. But yeah, I hate the dress.
Kate: I still adore her, though, so I’ll let this one slide. I hope she turns it UP for the Oscars.
Erica: Her hair looks super-cute that short, though. She doesn’t have much of a chin and this makes her face look round and cute; the longer hair I feel maybe lent her a sort of “mushy” look.

Jessica Chastain

Jessica Chastain Golden Globes 2014
Kate: This is what she should have worn last year. Fab.
Erica: Can we discuss the necklace? It looks good here, but when she was presenting, it was pushed a little bit more to the shoulders and looked FABULOUS.
Kate: But AGAIN with that slicked back hair! Who told you people this looks good?!

Julianna Margulies
Julianna Marguiles Golden Globes 2014
Kate: LOVEEEEE!
Erica: Yes. All things are right with the world.
Kate: Love the black and gold, love the neckline, love the waist, love the hair jewelry makeup, this is a best dressed contender!
Erica: Also she either has the best professional care in the universe, or she is aging super-well. Her skin looks fantastic!

Julia Louis-Dreyfus

Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Kate: Oh, excuse me Ms. Amazing.
Erica: Really? I thought she looked good but I didn’t think she looked particularly remarkable.
Kate: Like, what does she look BAD in? (Please God let me look remotely like her in 15-20 years.)
Erica: Is she not more than 20 years older than you?
Kate: Whatever, I’ll look like her now too!

Julia Roberts

Julia Roberts Golden Globes 2014
Kate: So it’s a black strapless dress with a sparkly belt over a nice white button down, but she is Julia Roberts so who gives ONE f*ck? Not her!
Erica: Yeah. I saw this and it was like, “On anyone else, I’d hate it. On Julia Roberts? You go on with your bad self, Julia. Do you.”
Kate: Great hair, makeup and jewels though, very classy.
Erica: Yeah, I loved her hair and make-up.
Julie Bowen
Julie Bowen Golden Globes 2014
Erica: Whatever. I give up.
Kate: I don’t like the sleeves, velvety top or those two colors together, but I’m happy she is wearing something different than her usual.
Erica: I know you don’t like braids, Kate, but I thought her hair looked good. I just don’t understand how a woman this pretty, this funny, this smart could continue to dress herself like this.

Kerry Washington
Kerry Washington Golden Globes 2014
Kate: For the first time in several years, Kerry Washington has failed on the red carpet. You heard it here first.
Erica: Oh, I’m more hit or miss with her in general. I thought she looked, like, okay.
Kate: Well, it’s a nice color on her, and her face finally looks normal again (re: fuller), but she’s at that awkward stage of pregnancy where the bump is not cute but can’t be hidden, and she picked a dress that highlighted that fact.
Erica: Whatever, she was glowing. I also continue to be super-impressed with her whenever I see her speak in public. She always comes across as so gracious and sharp. Like, I could see her as a 1960s political wife, very proper and the perfect hostess, but with that edge that will keep her parties lively and interesting.
Lena Dunham
Lena Dunham Golden Globes 2014
Kate: Hasn’t she worn this already?
Erica: I don’t know. I don’t know how to handle her style, really.
Kate: Her makeup is finally better and award show appropriate, but I am not a fan of the dress. Color yes, everything else no. And I really hate her tattoos. Call me a square, but they are just too much.
Erica: I agree. I’m a little ashamed of myself, but I agree.

Lupita Nyong’O

Lupita Nyong'o Golden Globes 2014 
Kate: Ok so this is kind of what Gwyneth Paltrow wore in white, what, last year? Two years ago?
Erica: Oh, yeah, I’d forgotten about that.
Kate: But it’s quite lovely. Although it’s a very “wow” color it looks elegant and understated on her, and she did makeup and jewelry very minimalistic, which was definitely the way to go.
Erica: Yeah, it’s pretty perfect. I think, though, we need to get rid of the “red” carpet. Do ivory or black or something. It’s too hard to see all these ladies in red.
Margot Robbie
Margot Robbie Golden Globes 2014
Kate: (I really need to see Wolf of Wall Street.) I actually think this is quite fabulous.
Erica: I do too. It’s va-va-voom but classy and she looked just great.
Kate: Not everyone can pull off the gems lining the armholes like that, and said gems really break up the ivory color nicely.
Mila Kunis
Mila Kunis Golden Globes 2014
Kate: I really like the dress except for the flower sh!t around the neckline.
Erica: Oh, yeah. And I think I’d like the transition from sparkle to no sparkle to be a little more gradual. But overall, good look.
Kate: And her hair and makeup are way too severe — lighten up, aren’t you Ashton Kutcher’s girlfriend? That’s not too shabby.
Erica: Wow, I think we have very different ideas on what constitutes “shabby” in a boyfriend. Ashton Kutcher has always struck me as that guy at the frat house who seems cute and funny at 1 am when you’ve had a whole lot of punch, but a week later he won’t get off your couch and he still thinks pretending he’s Mario and you’re a Koopa Troopa is hilarious and you’re like, “Dude, nobody is hot enough to put up with this. Least of all you.”
Olivia Wilde 
Olivia Wilde Golden Globes 2014
Kate: Ok so again with these these sequins which I am so over, and aGAIN with a bad baby bump dress! Did pregnant celebrities attend a class last week in which they learned the ugliest possible things to wear?
Erica: I would hate this dress with or without the baby bump.
Kate: Also, no matter how many celebrities she dates or has babies with or how many movies she stars in, I still can’t look at her without thinking about Lucas Scott.
Erica: Oh, I can. I like her, actually. But dress? Ombre hair? No. And how high exactly are those heels she’s wearing?

Paula Patton

Paula Patton Golden Globes 2014
Kate: That’s a joke, right?
Erica: Who is this person?
Kate: I refuse to waste any more blog space on this.
Reese Witherspoon
Reese Witherspoon Golden Globes 2014
Kate: You know what? I don’t like this.
Erica: I knew you wouldn’t.
Kate: I don’t like saying that I don’t like it, but I just don’t. The color stinks, the shape doesn’t flatter her, and the new haircut is upsetting me very much.
Erica: I think she looks fine. That material looks a little thick.
Sandra Bullock 
Sandra Bullock Golden Globes 2014
Kate: Absolute perfection, until you get to that gross blue on the bottom of the dress. So I’m just going to ignore that.
Erica: I can’t. And I didn’t like it before that. And what’s with the lipstick? I know you shouldn’t be matchy-matchy, but I’m also thinking a brick-y red with the hot pink right next to your face is a mistake?
Kate: That is also the most perfect side pony I have ever seen.
Erica: Yah. That’s true.

Sofia Vergara
Sofia Vergara Golden Globes 2014
Kate: Oh is Sofia Vergara wearing a strapless dress with a sweetheart neck and flared bottom, paired with a statement necklace and straight yet bouncy hair? How new and different for her!
Erica: I thought you’d be so excited that it was a princess skirt instead of a mermaid! And I like the necklace.
Kate: It actually does not look that good on her, I think it’s the skirt part that throws it off.
Erica: Well, she changed for the after-party. Do you like this better?
Sofia Vergara Golden Globes 2014 2

Kate: Actually yes, but much like how I feel about Amy Adams, I have seen way too much of this person’s boobs.

Taylor Swift

Taylor Swift Golden Globes red carpet 2014
Kate: No. Just no.
Erica: Really? I was unoffended by this.
Kate: I am offended by the fact that she is at every stinkin’ award show that has absolutely NOTHING to do with her — she was sitting at a table like, dead center! What has she done to deserve that spot?
Erica: I’m not saying I like it, just that I don’t care. It’s a hell of a lot better than her after-party dress.
Taylor Swift Golden Globes 2 2014
Erica: Although I do like her hair better here.
Tina Fey, Dress #1
Tina Fey Golden Globes 2014 1
Kate: So the dress is really fun, I like black and hot pink together. Hair is a little Palin-esque, but overall a very fun look for her. I’m happy it’s full length, she does that awkward ankle length a lot.
Erica: Well, her hair is pinned so it can easily be taken down for the show. But yeah, I like this. It’s different for her and very pretty.
Tina Fey, Dress #2
Tina Fey 2 Golden Globes 2014
 
Kate: Oh my god YES! Best she has ever looked at one of these things. Sexy sexy hair, perfectly styled dress. These sequins I am NOT over. Love! Best dressed nominee!
Erica: Right? Damn, girl. Also, can we talk about your waist for a second? Seriously, what are you doing to stay in that kind of shape? In between writing, performing, maintaining awesome friendships with women like Amy Poehler, carrying on a seemingly fine marriage and mothering two children? God, I suck.
Kate: Read her book and find out!
Tina Fey, Dress #3
Tina Fey 3 Golden Globes 2014
 
Kate: I like that it looks like she literally just threw her hair up in a clip without looking in a mirror.
Erica: It’s fine.
Kate: I don’t love the necklace, and now that several other people are in that red I am kind of over it. There was just no outshining her second dress.
Erica: Yeah. For real.
Zoe Saldana
Zoe Saldana Golden Globes 2014
Kate: Hot mess. It’s like Betsy Johnson and Free People had an ugly love child, and forgot to finish it.
Erica: It’s like you’re a high school sophomore in 1993 and this senior just asked you to prom! Which is in two days. And you don’t have any money and everything left on the rack in that pop-up prom store in the mall by your house – the one that also has a place to sell your gold and not one but two novelty gift shops? Yeah, they’re all hideous. But you have a spunky auntie and a needle and thread, so you negotiate with the store’s owner to get three dresses off the clearance rack for the price of just one of them and also you’ll do inventory next week for free! And then you cut up those dresses and sew them together so that you look totally unique and also like you will absolutely put out at the after-prom party, unlike his stupid ex-girlfriend who is at the prom with his best friend.
 
Zooey Deschanel
Zooey Deschanel Golden Globes 2014
Kate: Well, this is pretty much very lovely. I really like the skirt.
Erica: I wouldn’t mind a more form-fitting top but it’s cute and it’s her.
Kate: The side bun is ok, but the flower wasn’t necessary. And her lipstick is bordering on too dark.
Worst Dressed
 
Kate: It has to be Paula Patton, right?
Erica: I continue not to know or care who that person is.
Best Dressed
 
Kate: I have to go with my girl Tina, as I am completely in love with her after reading her book.
Erica: Alright. I’m between Cate Blanchett and Julianna Marguiles.