Oscars 2017

Kate: I say this with some degree of humiliation, but I think this is the first year since I was, like, in elementary school, that I have not seen ONE of the nominated films.

Erica: It’s like the, oh, what is it, ah…Eighth. The eighth year for me.

Kate: Oh, hang on! I HAVE seen Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (nominated for Costume and Production Design), O.J.: Made in America (nominated for Documentary Feature), Star Trek Beyond (nominated for Makeup & Hairstyling), and The Jungle Book (nominated for Visual Effects). I feel much better now.

Erica: Yup, I’ve seen none of those. I have seen Zootopia. And I’ve seen Rogue One, which also got a Visual Effects nod.

Kate: But, again, are the movies important? No! Only the DRESSES are!

 

Alicia Vikander

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Kate: I know everyone was obsessed with her last year and she’s pretty and tiny and all that, but…I don’t get it.

Erica: I think I get it. I don’t know if I like it, but I think I get it.

Kate: This looks like something recycled from a really bad sweet 16 in the 80s. I hate the neckline, the sleeves, the layers, the length, the lace, all of it! And the hair! That’s what my hair looks like RIGHT NOW, and it’s not a good situation!

Erica: The neck and sleeves read Jane Austen to me. Which is cool, especially on a tiny person such as herself, but, you know, black in the Jane Austen era would signal mourning, not glamour. And I think that’s unfortunately how this reads.

Kate: Really, really hate it.

 

Amy Adams

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Kate: Disappointed that she didn’t do the red carpet, especially in this number. Va va voom, Amy!

Erica: Oh, I don’t love it.

Kate: I think I’ve said recently that I’m over the sequins, but this looks great. Perfectly tailored to her body, a deep V done right. And I always love soft, voluminous waves like that — kind of like Connie Britton hair!

Erica: I love the hair. And there’s nothing wrong with the dress. It’s just not my favorite.

 

Brie Larson

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Kate: Oh my, how dramatic.

Erica: I’m into it.

Kate: Her terrible hair is a bit distracting, but I like the dress. Kind of like a very fancy Jessica Rabbit, but black instead of red. I might not have worn this if I were not actually nominated (that year), though.

Erica: I agree the hair could be a little more on point but the drama of the gown, I really love. Very John Singer Sargent.

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Charlize Theron

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Kate: Wow. Having a very rare moment of I-don’t-think-Charlize-Theron-looks-good, and I don’t know what to do with that.

Erica: Oh, see, I don’t like the dress, and I don’t like the ponytail thing — it looks like they forgot to finish her hair — and I also really hate the earrings – but I still think she looks good.

Kate: The metallic thing just doesn’t work as well on her as it has on others, I hate the ponytail, the thick-strapped deep V-neck doesn’t complement her beautiful figure, it’s just all off. Very jarring.

Erica: It’s all very weird. And yet, I still think she’s beautiful.

Kate: Yes SHE is obviously beautiful but this LOOK is not. Also, those earrings are dangerously heavy on her earlobes. And also obscenely expensive.

 

Chrissy Teigen

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Kate: I really like one of John Legend’s songs right now, so I am less annoyed than usual that these two literally pop up EVERYWHERE, but seriously, WHY ARE THEY EVERYWHERE?

Erica: Oh I am 100% okay with them being everywhere because I find them — her in particular — to be delightful. Also I think he’s in La La Land.

Kate: Regardless, this is an OK gown. The attached cape thing feels a bit done to me at this point, and the sequin detail feels a bit Cache to me, but the rest of the dress is fab. I could do without the one piece of hair on the right side, too.

Erica: I don’t like the dress. I just don’t like it. It’s not badly done or incomprehensibly ugly. I just don’t like it.

 

Dakota Johnson

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Kate: Oh my god, I could not hate it more if I tried.

Erica: I think I hate it more than I hate the 50 Shades phenomenon. No, wait. Nothing is worse than that. This dress is pretty damn close, though.

Kate: It’s like a decades-old wedding dress that wasn’t stored properly. You know what? It reminds me of Sandra Bullock’s wedding dress in The Proposal. And I liked it on Sandra a lot more.

Erica: Wow, it is better on Sandra Bullock but I still hate it on Sandra Bullock. It is so very awful. Incredibly awful. Like it was trying to be awful. And her makeup and hair look dreadful. Well, her makeup looks dreadful. Her hair is more blah than awful.

Kate: Yea, that is like, what my hair looks like when I want it out of my face at work but I KNOW it doesn’t look good/makes my forehead look enormous. Bleh bleh bleh!!!

Erica: She also claims to not be wearing makeup. Does she think we don’t know what faces normally look like?

 

Emma Roberts

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Kate: I always think she looks very pretty, if not a little too tiny, and I love the nod to her aunt with the bright red hair tonight.

Erica: I mean, I love the hair. Love. A lot.

Kate: The gown is lovely and she overall looks very nice, I’m just not like AMAZED by it.

Erica: So it’s black-and-white evening, which is not my favorite. But she told Ryan Seacrest that she was the one who told Julia to wear the black-and-white one she won the Oscar in, so maybe this is, like, a nod? Or maybe Emma Roberts just really loves black-and-white evening dresses? Which, as we’ve established, are not my favorite, although this one has the lace and is very well tailored and all that. I am not particularly prudish about boobs, though — in fact, I am typically a fan of cleavage — and this is pushing it for me.

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Emma Stone

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Kate: I don’t know. It feels a little too theme-y for me. Aren’t we over the whole Great Gatsby thing?

Erica: I mean, the hair and makeup are lovely.

Kate: Yes, very lovely hair and makeup. I’m having an issue with where the fringe starts and ends on this dress — it creates awkward sections of her otherwise beautiful body.

Erica: I see what you’re saying, but it doesn’t bother me as much as I think it should. I think it actually starts low enough that it’s okay. That said, I don’t love the fringe.

Kate: Honestly, she should have swapped her Golden Globes and Oscars dresses, and done something completely else for SAGs. This dress is fine, but her Globes dress was the real stunner of the group.

Erica: Yes. Agreed. That was the Oscars dress.

 

Felicity Jones

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Kate: Uh oh. I see some tea length.

Erica: Man. I want so badly to like so many things about this. But I hate tea length. And I hate the thing that is happening around her waist.

Kate: I wish it were floor length and I wish the top were tailored a bit better, and I wish she had jazzed it up a with a little more jewelry on the ears, but looking very soft and simple and elegant is kind of her thing.

Erica: It’s like, a good concept. But not a good dress.

Kate: I do, however, love the shoes, ergo, I understand why she WANTED to do tea length.

 

Ginnifer Goodwin

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Kate: Oh, I hate her hair like that. Too plastered to her head, literally.

Erica: Yes. I hate all of this, really.

Kate: The dress is fine, but it feels like something you could buy at Anthropologie and wear to a fancy wedding, not THE OSCARS. You know?

Erica: I don’t think the dress is fine. I hate it.

Kate: I also think a regular old scoop neck would have done just fine instead of a DAMN TURTLENECK.

Erica: BUT she lost her former TV husband the day before. I will give her all the passes.

 

Hailee Steinfeld

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Kate: Oh, my. Gorgeous. Beyond.

Erica: Really?! Really?!

Kate: Really! I think it’s an amazing mix of modern and edgy with classic and beautiful. P e r f e c t makeup.

Erica: I would never have expected you to like this. The back. The frou-frou-ness. How see-through it is. I am shocked.

Kate: The see-throughness was a bit surprising at first but it’s done with taste. Best Dressed nominee!

Erica: So it is the sort of thing I usually like but I don’t know if this is my favorite iteration of it. The back is a bit much for me. And I can’t decide how I feel about how see-through it is. On the one hand, very sexy. Without being slutty. On the other, I think I’m getting old or something.

 

Halle Berry

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Kate: I mean, why does anyone else even show up if she’s gonna be there? Look at her!

Erica: To see what she looks like, naturally.

Kate: I adore the dress, the one shoulder, the sparkle, the colors, the ribbony elements, wow. And her face? Her skin? Her makeup? It’s just not fair!

Erica: It is a really lovely dress. I feel like her fashion is so often, like, really unique and special, while looking exactly like a red carpet dress should. Both surprising and entirely fitting.

Kate: The only reason I’m not throwing her a Best Dressed nominee is the hair — I like the curls, I like the color(s), but I don’t like the style.

Erica:I like that she did that hair. I think it could be perfected but I applaud the concept.

 

Janelle Monae

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Kate: I was able to get into her quirk at the Globes and the SAGs, but this is too much for me. Really don’t like it. Overwhelming in the worst possible way.

Erica: I like it, actually. I wish that the skirt didn’t, like, detach from itself. But I think it mostly accomplishes what it sets out to be and I appreciate that about it. And I really, really, really, really love her hair.

 

Jennifer Aniston

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Kate: Another red carpet evader — Jen, I love you, but Meryl Streep you are not. You still must do the red carpet, especially if you are presenting.

Erica: What is she, even, without the red carpet?

Kate: This is quite sexy. It’s very Jen, and I think she always looks great, and she’s famous for that hair, but I wish it were pulled back a little to show off more of the dress. It’s a great neckline, and it deserves some more attention.

Erica: Yeah, this is classic Jen, 100%.

 

Jessica Biel

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Kate: I know this is FASHION, but to me it’s mostly a very nice costume from The Lion King on Broadway.

Erica: I can’t say it any better than that. That is 100% accurate.

Kate: I’m sorry but Jessica Biel has an extremely beautiful body, and this dress shows absolutely none of it!

Erica: Has she been in anything lately or is she just there as Mrs. Timberlake? I mean, after watching him perform that opening song, I am behind “showing up to be Mrs. Timberlake”. I’m just wondering.

Kate: She’s just Mrs. Timberlake most recently. Also, her hair SHOULD be slicked back with this neckline/necklace, but it’s too loose on that one side. Do not like!

 

Kate McKinnon

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Kate: Well excuuuuuuse me Miss Thing!

Erica: Yeah, she cleans up good.

Kate: I absolutely love it! Great hair, great makeup, GREAT dress. Can never go wrong with black and a little sparkle. Best Dressed nominee!

Erica: I just feel like I’d be annoyed if I were an SNL cast member now. The plumb role — president — is being played by a non-cast celebrity. The next best one — the press secretary — is also going to a non-cast celebrity. Now they talk about Rosie O’Donnell playing Steve Bannon. And then everyone else is played by Kate McKinnon. Fabulously. But still.

Kate: Irrelevant! Dresses!

 

Kirsten Dunst

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Kate: Wow wow wow. I love it!

Erica: I don’t know what’s happening with her since she used to like to look bizarre. This is so beautiful.

Kate: Such a flattering shape, especially around the boobs and waist, and it just looks like a beautifully made piece of fashion. I would not have done closed-toe shoes with that length, though.

Erica: The dress is just 100% perfection. It’s sort of a nod to the era of her movie, too, how beautifully constructed it is, and the silhouette. She looks amazing.

Kate: Agree! But also not totally loving the hair swoop thing. Am OK with the necklace. Luuurrrve the dark dramatic makeup on her.

 

Leslie Mann

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Kate: She is really giving me some Gone with the Wind vibes here.

Erica: I don’t like it. I hate the color. I hate the bow. Her hair is messy. She is a delightful human, though.

Kate: Yes, the color leaves something to be desired, and her hair is too casual for a) this occasion and b) this dress, but…I really, really like her, and she looks like she’s just having so much fun, so I don’t hate this as much as I probably should/usually would.

 

Meryl Streep

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Kate: Meryl throwing me off again with actually DOING the red carpet this time.

Erica: I didn’t see her on the red carpet.

Kate: She was there! I don’t like her hair at all. The sparkly teal pantsuit is very old lady chic, and not in a good way.

Erica: Am I stupid? I’m seeing her in a midnight blue sparkly thing.

Kate: Sometimes it looks blue, sometimes it looks teal, and there are pants AND a skirt somewhere in there. Apparently there was a whole ordeal about this sparkly teal pantsuit because it’s Elie Saab and she was originally supposed to wear Karl Lagerfeld and Karl went on a rant about it, to which Meryl responded in the most Meryl way possible. And now I love it. (But not her hair.)

Erica: I feel like I need to binge-watch her movies but also that will make me very depressed.

 

Michelle Williams

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Kate: I’m shocked — this is such a normal, basic choice for Jen, I mean Michelle!

Erica: She’s going to be pissed when she sees Emma Roberts.

Kate: Oh, so true. Except she most likely doesn’t care. This is pretty but it’s really not doing anything else for me. I think the top could be tailored better. Also, it looks like the skirt is just plain old cream-colored in this photo, but on the pre-show it was a bit more sheer and sparkly.

Erica: It’s not great. And she’s usually so fashion-conscious. This is not particularly interesting and it’s not particularly well-made. The top looks really bad.

 

Nicole Kidman

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Kate: Ahhh, redemption. It’s a beautiful thing.

Erica: It’s baffling, though. Like, if she knows to wear this, how did she wear M-F-ING PARROTS?

Kate: After the ridiculous ruffles of the Golden Globes dress and the stupid sparkly parrots of the SAGs, this dress is a sight for sore eyes. Even though it’s a little too close to the color of her skin so that it kind of looks like she just has swirly body paint on her.

Erica: Hey, I will give all the points to the woman who shows up on a red carpet with just swirly body paint on her.

Kate: REALLY love the hair and makeup.

 

Octavia Spencer

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Kate: Very extremely lovely. Possibly the best I’ve ever seen her.

Erica: She does love her gray, doesn’t she?

Kate: It’s a great color on her. I love the sleek angled bob, very flattering neckline and overall silhouette. Am I the world’s biggest feather fan? No, but it works here.

Erica: Agree with everything except that the feathers are still not working for me. Waist up? Perfect. Waist down? Eh.

 

Priyanka Chopra

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Kate: It is really, really hard to pull off these super-structured strapless tops. I don’t know if Priyanka is accomplishing that here.

Erica: I feel no uncertainty about it. I hate it.

Kate: And the material looks very quilt-like, so that plus the super-structured top plus the flair on bottom makes it feel more like a Cher concert costume than an Oscars dress.

Erica: I think it feels more like a bad Project Runway design.

 

Salma Hayek

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Kate: Well, it’s a vast improvement from the bridesmaid dress from 27 Dresses she wore to the SAGs, but it’s still not great. Quite boring, actually.

Erica: I think it’s fine. Unremarkable.

Kate: And her usually fabulous, voluminous hair is quite…Flat. Meh.

Erica: I don’t like the headband. She’s a grown woman at an awards show, you know?

Kate: I am generally anti-headband.

 

Scarlett Johansson

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Kate: Hate the hair, hate the belt, and if the skirt were a little less poofy she would just be dressed for a very nice brunch with her friends in Southern California. Very disappointing.

Erica: The hair is very stupid. I’m less offended by the dress than you are — actually, it would be super cute as a brunch dress — but I hate the hair.

Kate: One does not wear BRUNCH DRESSES to the OSCARS!!! Also, I think she’s not wearing a bra, which should not be the case for someone as well endowed as her.

Erica: She has a great rack when she dresses it properly.

 

Taraji P. Henson

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Kate: I feel like this is JUST on the right side of the fine line between “vintage” and “dated”. Either way, a HUGE improvement over her Grammys disaster.

Erica: I have no problem with edging toward dated. I also loved how she made Ryan Seacrest wait for her.

Kate: You know what? It’s actually a little Pretty Woman-esque with that neckline, necklace, and material, in a very good way.

Erica: It’s so glam and perfect I feel like she was just playing with the other awards shows this year, because she was saving up for this. Sadie likes it, too; she keeps reaching for the screen.

Kate: Also really love the short, textured, angled bob.

Erica: Yes. Perfect. All the good things. And I really want to see Hidden Figures. I think listening to her talk about it put it even with La La Land on my wish list.

 

Viola Davis

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Kate: Oh yes, I love the red. Love it love it love it.

Erica: The red is perfect. The hair is perfect. The makeup is perfect.

Kate: Gorgeous sleeves, love the shorter hair, FINALLY the softer makeup look I’ve been asking for from her. The only thing I’d have done differently is a bit more bling on the ears to complement the neckline.

Erica: I’m not super into the ear cuff thing. I like the concept but I have yet to see it executed in a way I like. Also, I feel really bad, because I don’t want to see Fences. I understand that it’s a fantastic movie with out-of-this-world performances. I just don’t wanna. Sadie really liked her acceptance speech.

Kate: Alas, our final Best Dressed of the 2017 Red Carpet Season?

Erica: After some consideration, I want Taraji to have it. She looks so good.

Kate: I don’t like hers THAT much. I’d rather give it to Viola, Hailee, or Kate.

Erica: Hmm. Okay, now I’m torn between Hailee, who did something beautiful and interesting, and Viola Davis, who just looked perfect. I will accept either.

Kate: VIOLA IT IS! Worst?

Erica: It’s got to be Dakota Johnson. And NOT because I hate 50 Shades. I actually think she’s quite as charming as a human possibly can be in that dreadful role. But that dress. It is all the things wrong with all the fashion in the universe. I might hate it more than I hated Nicole Kidman’s parrots.

Kate: Could not agree more. Peace out, fellow fashion critiquers!

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Grammys 2017

Grammys 2017

Kate: Thanks to my “Today’s Hits” station on Pandora, I may actually know who most of these people are tonight!

Erica: I will probably only recognize Beyoncé.

Kate: Seriously, I’m more excited about the Grammys than the Oscars this year. That NEVER happens.

Erica: Not me. But I am not cool.

Kate: *In the style of Billy Eichner on Billy on the Street* And away…We…GO!

 

Adele

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Kate: It’s going to be hard for anyone to convince me that she does not deserve Best Dressed right here right now. Oh my god, so effing fabulous I can’t stand it.

Erica: I am not seeing what you are seeing.  

Kate: We can usually count on her for a sparkly, semi-frumpy black or navy blue gown that we don’t give a hoot about because then she performs and all’s right with the world. THIS, though, is FASHION and now and perfectly tailored to her body and a PERFECT color on her.

Erica: I do think the color is just perfect on her luminous self. And the hair and makeup are unsurprisingly perfect.

Kate: I absolutely love the lighter hair and makeup, and the updo that the lighter hair is in, she even has a little tan going on! OH MY GOD I AM OBSESSED WITH YOU, ADELE!

Erica: Yes. I think you might be. Not that she doesn’t deserve it. I just think this dress doesn’t, particularly.

Kate: But wait, why wear that fabulousness and then change immediately for the first performance? Her performance dress is much more in line with what she usually wears:

 

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Erica: I don’t like this, either. And her nails are a little insane for my taste. But why do any of them do this? Isn’t the whole getting dressed with hair and makeup a big deal? Why not just skip the red carpet and go straight to performance mode?

Kate: Very long pointy nails are IN. And then you know they all have a third dress for the after-party. Or another performance drew for another performance?

 

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Kate: Love this one, and the messy bun, but that performance…Wow. In so many ways.

Erica: And then she shared her award with Beyoncé because she is 100% class.

Kate: Angel/goddess on Earth.

 

Beyoncé

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Kate: I really did not know what to make of her performance. I know she was being deep and philosophical and maybe political?, but I wasn’t understanding EXACTLY what she was saying. Say what you mean, and mean what you say, B!

Erica: I always assume that I won’t fully get what Beyoncé is talking about. We are of related but separate cultures.

Kate: That said, minus the crazy head and neck gear, her dress is really beautiful. And that’s coming from a longtime Beyoncé hater. I appreciate that she wore it for her performance and stayed in it afterward, and I was wondering why she didn’t do the red carpet, but I guess she’s Beyoncé and she’s pregnant and can get away with pretty much any old thing she feels like.

Erica: Well, and, in order to get her pregnant self all kitted up like an ancient fertility goddess, she had to get there early. Like I said, a red carpet look and a separate performance look is kind of a hassle.

Kate: Well she went for the hassle, because she eventually changed into this delightful little red number and somehow straightened her hair.

 

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Erica: I mean, how do they do secondary HAIR? I can’t get my hair to look good once a night. I definitely couldn’t be a celebrity.

Kate: I like this dress a lot more, including the necklace. WHO AM I?

 

Carrie Underwood

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Kate: Ok so this is super-pageanty and VERY COUNTRY, but that’s Carrie, no? I normally wouldn’t like something like this, but she is really rocking it.

Erica: I just feel like she’s already dressing like she’s 40.

Kate: I don’t think it’s 40, I think it’s country. Her hair and makeup are similar to Adele’s, so I like those things as well. The only thing that’s bothering me is how UNCOMFORTABLE the dress looks — like, I’m itching MY neck just looking at HERS.

Erica: Yes. Also she seemed kind of unhappy tonight. Kind of down. Great makeup.

Kate: I also wish the sleeves were more tapered instead of in that bell style.

 

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Kate: Her performance dress is, like, pageanty-casual, and I love it. Actually kind of looks comfortable?

Erica: It’s younger, as is the hair. Hey, did Keith Urban not bring his wife tonight? I feel deprived of the crazy.

Kate: Was wondering that myself…

 

Celine Dion

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Kate: Oh dear me no.

Erica: No?

Kate: She is too thin and narrow-featured to have her hair pulled back that tight, and that dress? Are we on a fancy St. Patrick’s Day Parade float?

Erica: Well, I never like that kind of hair but I like the color of the dress. Not the whole dress. But the color. The earrings are pretty, too.

Kate: I know what you’re thinking — why am I ok with Adele’s green dress but not Celine’s green dress? Probably because I am overly obsessed with Adele.

Erica: Well. You are. But they are also very different greens. And Adele’s does complement her beautifully. In my opinion, Celine’s green looks fine, but not quite as luminous as Adele’s.

Kate: Now, had she worn her presenting dress on the red carpet, she would have earned my praises. Beautiful.

 

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Erica: WHY IS THERE A SECOND DRESS JUST FOR PRESENTING?! WHY BOTHER WITH THE RED CARPET DRESS AT ALL?! It’s because this is the Capitol, that’s why. We are all already damned.

 

Chrissy Teigen

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Kate: Up close you can tell that there are black feathers attached to the collar of this dress — or maybe they’re earrings? — and there is just too much going on here.

Erica: I do not like it. I like her. I do not like this.

Kate: I also really don’t like that wet curly hair look — what is this, the late 90s? Oh, right, all those trends are back now.

Erica: Which, while I’m not happy about the wet-look curls, I am happy about boot-cut jeans. Hey, do you still have my Docs?

Kate: They are in WO, most likely.

 

Demi Lovato

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Kate: I know almost every lady on this carpet is wearing some form of fake hair tonight, I just hate when they make it so OBVIOUS.

Erica: Yeah this looks…cheap.

Kate: That is the EXACT word that popped into my head when I saw this. She’s a very pretty girl, but this is just all too much. She’s too tan, too stuffed into that dress, too MACRAME. Actually really hate it.

Erica: I do not like the macrame. I do not like the look.

Kate: Worst Dressed nominee!

 

Elle King

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Erica: Including her because I love that song. I always appreciate that the Grammys is a time to dress very costume-y. This little girl princess costume is an unusual choice but that’s okay with me. The tats mean it’s still rock-and-roll, right?

Kate: I think the dress is actually pretty, I just don’t like the matching flower crown and the pale makeup, and then the tattoos kind of blending in with the dress almost? I get it, I’m just not that into it.

Erica: That is a more positive reaction than I thought you would have.

Kate: I’m complimenting Beyoncé, I know current musicians, I’m really growing as a person.

 

Erika Jayne

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Kate: We HAVE to include her because she’s a Real Housewife, right?!

Erica: I’ll go with that logic.

Kate: I kind of love that she’s there. I am really against that half-up-in-a-bun hairstyle — it’s just too EVERYWHERE — and I’m not falling all over myself about the dress, it’s fine, and the shoes don’t match, but I’m just happy that she’s there. Great makeup, as always.

Erica: Yes, the hair is terrible. It’s not even the style, which I don’t love, but fine. It’s poorly executed. And yes, the shoes don’t match. I do actually like the dress, and I love her spirit and her lust for life. I feel like Kyle could become a better person by being friends with her.

Kate: Perhaps, if she stops talking sh!t about every single one of her friends every five seconds.

 

Faith Hill

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Kate: Similar to Carrie’s pageanty vibe, but, again, they are both country, and this is what you wear when you’re country. I might have worn both their dresses to the Country Music Awards instead, but, I’m neither of their stylist.

Erica: Yeah, except Faith Hill is the right age for this.

Kate: Actually, this is alarmingly similar to Carrie’s dress — center cutout and middle-of-legs slit and all. It just doesn’t have the sparkle.

Erica: I can’t decide if that’s an improvement or not.

Kate: I kind of like the hair down in loose waves with this style, but with Carrie’s it would definitely get caught on all the sequins. I’m really fixating on that.

 

Gina Rodriguez

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Kate: She is not usually someone we include, but I got a special request to!

Kate’s friend Candace (via text): You should site that Gina Rodriguez looks hot hot hot in your blog!

Kate: Well there you have it.

Erica: I am not so delighted with this look. No offense, Candace.

Kate: I think it’s very similar to Chrissy Teigen’s look but better executed, but still not my favorite. Sorry Candace!

Candace: Whatever.

Erica: Yes, better executed. And she looks joyous. But I don’t love the ensemble. Sorry!

 

Heidi Klum

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Kate: Another semi-normal choice from Heidi! She MUST be reading these posts!

Erica: We have a power beyond what we expected. Heidi, if you do read this, know that I still sometimes replay that moment in my head where you told the Project Runway contestant that his Barbies were selling like “bagels,” and then Tim Gunn corrected you and said “hot cakes,” and you very seriously repeated “hot cakes.” It was — you are — freakin’ adorable.

Kate: I mean, she’s basically wearing a sparkly t-shirt, and I can basically see her private parts, but this is what she does best — casual but glam California blonde. Love the hair, makeup and jewelry. But how is she going to SIT?

Erica: Oh my gosh, I think she looks adorable. Show off those gams, girl. Sit down and watch your dress become a shirt and don’t care at all because you have the legs of Heidi Klum.

 

Jennifer Lopez

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Kate: Typical J.Lo. Has to do ONE weird thing, can’t just leave well enough alone.

Erica: She looks beautiful, though.

Kate: Of course she does, she’s J. Lo! Honestly, the gown is absolutely beautiful and it’s a beautiful color, and OMG her legs, but why the neck thing? Why? Just why?

Erica: Well, because otherwise no one would talk about it.

Kate: Also, her lipstick is the same color as her face, which is not great. Also also, Demi, THIS is how you do not-so-obvious hair extensions.

 

Katharine McPhee

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Kate: Very boring, but very nice.

Erica: Hate ombre hair.

Kate: You can barely see the ombre hair in the low pony, though? And I think that damn slit is a bit overdone now.

Erica: Yeah, I’m for some reason more willing to be Heidi Klum’s gynecologist than I am willing to be Katharine McPhee’s. Maybe because Katharine McPhee doesn’t look like she means it.

 

Katy Perry

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Kate: Oh Christ.

Erica: I mean she’s whackadoo. Although she usually is whackadoo in a more aesthetically pleasing way.

Kate: I feel like she chose this to purposely look bad, and also insane. It’s ill-fitting, it’s dated, it’s just plain ugly. And the mad scientist hair? No.

Kate’s friend Melissa (via text): Please put in your blog that Katy Perry looks like Lumiere’s love interest in Beauty and the Beast *eye-roll emoji*.

Kate: Honestly, the feather duster looks 100 times better than THIS.

Erica: Seriously. Katy Perry wishes she could be as fire as that feather duster.

Kate: I also did NOT appreciate her dig at Britney during the pre-show by saying she took a break from music for her mental health and hasn’t shaved her head yet. If I have to say one nice thing, I like her makeup, but the Britney dig REALLY got me.

Erica: I was surprised she went there. I was thinking T. Swift was exclusively to blame for their Bad Blood, but I’m rethinking now.

Kate: Oh, and Worst Dressed nominee.

 

Lady Gaga

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Kate: YASSSSS.

Erica: One day when our civilization has fallen and future archaeologists are trying to figure out our culture, I hope they come upon an image of Lady Gaga wearing this to the Grammys so that they understand, at least, what the Grammys were all about.

Kate: I was worried we would get Glam Gaga instead of Crazy Gaga, and I am so happy she did this. It’s Cher and Madonna and costumey and crazy-high shoes and just exactly what I want from her. LOVE the high pony with the deep red lip and aviator shades. Love.

Erica: Yes. Well-executed crazy.

Kate: I also love that after all the crap she got about the little bit of extra skin on her belly during the Super Bowl halftime show, she wore another belly-baring outfit and looks effing fab.

Erica: I have to think that the people who gave her that crap have never seen actual human bodies before.

 

Laverne Cox

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Kate: It’s like someone was recently looking at a photo of Courtney Love in that crazy black dress with all the slits and thought, “Let me try to re-do this, but better”, and it worked. Fierce.

Erica: I thought she was referencing Elizabeth Hurley’s 1994 safety pin dress. Which, I have just learned, has its own Wikipedia page. As does J. Lo’s 2000 bathrobe dress, to which she herself made sly reference during the telecast.

Kate: Yes, she likes to remind us. I love Laverne’s hair darker, and I love the high pony. Up close and personal the makeup is a little too costume party for me, and I wish she had done a more interesting earring, and I don’t love the length of the dress, so it’s not a Best Dressed nominee for me, but overall digging it.

Erica: Yeah, the length of the dress is the part I don’t like.

 

Lea Michele

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Kate: I KNOW Brad Goreski styled her so I really WANT to like this. But I don’t. 😦

Erica: Is that her eye make-up or has she been crying?

Kate: Yes, first of all, what is that face? Second of all, what is that severe hair? Third of all, that awful neck makes her look like she just got neutered. Without it, MAYBE. Maybe. With it? No.

Erica: Seriously, is she okay? Does she need to talk to someone?

 

Mya

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Kate: What is Mya doing at the 2017 Grammys? Has she sang anything since Ghetto Superstar?

Erica: She’s one of those people I should know because she’s of my time, but I wasn’t cool, then, either.

Kate: I really hate this red tuxedo thing. It’s ill-fitting on top, too tight on bottom, the bow in the middle is unnecessary, and dye-to-match shoes? Come on. Worst Dressed nominee!

Erica: It is really bad. Like, really bad. It’s a good concept, and it’s executed so very badly.

Kate: Hair and makeup are fine, though.

 

Rihanna

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Kate: While Celine Dion thinks she’s on a fancy St. Patrick’s Day Parade float, Rihanna thinks she’s going to a Halloween-themed ball but chose to just wear Halloween colors instead of an actual costume.

Erica: Yeah, I don’t like it. It’s whackadoo without being pretty or making sense or anything.

Kate: She always has to wear a skirt that’s, like, impossible to sit down in.

Erica: I think she has made public statements to this effect.

 

Taraji P. Henson

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Kate: Not sure why she’s there — because she’s on a TV show about music? — but really hate the dress. The material looks like it’s pulling across her in the most uncomfortable, too-tight way.

Erica: Yeah, this is very strange. I know this is weird, but I’m thinking about that part in The King and I when Yul Brynner is confused as to why Westerners are cool with exposing all this cleavage, but then create giant bell skirts to hide the very fact that women have legs. This dress is the opposite of that.

Kate: Also really don’t like her hair like that — she looks so much better when she’s tousled and wild and, like, loose.

Erica: She is capable of fierceness. Maybe she’s just, like, experimenting, and she’ll realize soon what looks suit her and go back to them.

 

Tori Kelly

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Kate: Hmmmm…The ruffles and the length and the color and the gold jewelry make this a little too, like, St. Patrick’s Day gala. Celine’s on the fancy parade float, Tori’s already at the gala afterward. But underdressed for it.

Erica: I don’t know who this is. But this ensemble is maybe the most 90s of the night.

Kate: You said that last year and I told you she had fun songs, and I don’t see 90s at all here? She looks pretty, I just don’t like the whole vibe of it. Her hair is also too casual. And now that I’ve looked at last year’s post, she wore the same color then too.

Erica: Well, my memory is sieve-like. And the off-shoulder and the criss-crossing ruffles and the hair and make-up are all very ’90s, trust. You were still too young when this would have been it. Because I came of age in the 90s, I like it. I just don’t like it for the Grammys. But I am struggling to figure out where I would like it.

Kate: Alas, Best Dressed must of course go to Adele? With an Honorable Mention to the Gagster?

Erica: Sure. I just don’t feel strongly about anyone.

Kate: And Worst Dressed is without a doubt Katy I-Have-Lost-My-Mind Perry?

Erica: That is more than fine with me.

Kate: And there you have it. Til the Oscars, then!

SAGs 2017

Kate: I have yet to feel the urge to see any of the nominated films, La La Land included. Should we be concerned?

Erica: Oh, I’m dying to see La La Land. I 100% won’t be seeing Manchester by the Sea. I really want to see Hidden Figures. I think I want to see Moonlight, but I don’t actually know anything about it other than that guy I like is in it. Am I missing any important ones?

Kate: None of them are important to me. But I still care about the fashion! Deeply!

Erica: And that’s what we’re here for.

 

Amy Adams

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Generated by IJG JPEG Library

Kate: Very nice, but COME ON with that necklace. COME ON!

Erica: I stared hard at that necklace, trying to figure out how I felt about it. I came down on the side of no. But I feel like there was missed potential. Or possibly not and it would have looked like a tumor no matter what we did.

Kate: Ignoring that, her hair stinks, but a slinky cleavagey black dress is never a bad thing.

Erica: She’s cute. It’s hard to get away from her being cute.

 

Anna Chlumsky

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Generated by IJG JPEG Library

Kate: So very much better than her last few disasters, but still not great.

Erica: Oh, come on. On a scale of Anna Chlumsky, this is an A+. This might even be an A++.

Kate: I just feel like Tina Fey has kind of already worn this, and what is going on at the bottom there?

Erica: Even on another human, though, this would be no worse than a B. It fits, it’s event appropriate, it’s a nice, human-looking dress. I’m giving her all the points.

 

Ariel Winter

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Generated by IJG JPEG Library

Kate: This feels a little Kim K early 2000s to me, and I really don’t like the hair. It’s somehow too casual.

Erica: What about the stupid lipstick? I worry for this child, I genuinely do

Kate: Hate the lipstick.

 

Brie Larson

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Generated by IJG JPEG Library

Kate: Holy wow really skinniest person ever. Starting to get concerned about that waist.

Erica: She likes a weird neck, doesn’t she?

Kate: Yea, and this asymmetrical neckline also makes her BODY look asymmetrical, which is also jarring, but bodily concerns aside this is absolutely stunning. Perfectly tailored and love the hair and makeup.

Erica: Yeah, I thought at first she was tilting. But it does look good.

 

Bryce Dallas Howard

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Generated by IJG JPEG Library

Kate: Including her because she was just on WWHL and I found her to be very charming. She is Ron Howard’s daughter and looks a lot like Jessica Chastain.

Erica: Jason <3s her. On E!’s red carpet coverage, there was, like, a chain of ladies he made me actually slow down to watch. She was the first. Then he was annoyed by how vapid she sounded in her interview with Giuliana Rancic.

Kate: She is not vapid, Giuliana is.

Erica: Yes. I know.

Kate: I think the dress is lovely if a little boring/safe, and I love the redhead-wearing-red thing, but it would be a zillion times better with that lovely red hair swishing down around her face and without that necklace that looks like something Mom would buy us and we would exchange the next day.

Erica: You know where to exchange them? I never do. Then Zoe confiscates them. Anyway, I thought Bryce Dallas Howard looked fine but unremarkable.

 

Danielle Brooks

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Generated by IJG JPEG Library

Kate: This could be really killer but the tailoring looks so completely off.

Erica: Minor tweaks. Minor. A little hemming, a better bra.

Kate: The jeweled hair piece doesn’t work either — it’s just all put together very haphazardly.

Erica: Yeah, it would look so cool if it were on straight.

 

Ellie Kemper

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Generated by IJG JPEG Library

Kate: Ok so this color is absolutely gorgeous against her skin and hair, and I really love her hair and makeup. But the ACTUAL dress feels VERY dated and it really ages her.

Erica: Oh, I thought she looked very nice. That shade of blue is so lovely on so many women. The dress is a bit dated, though.

Kate: And we’ve got to get her a better strapless bra because whatever she’s wearing looks like it’s pulling the boobs DOWN.

Erica: Boobs are such a difficult engineering problem.

Kate: Apparently she recently gave birth, so now I feel bad saying that.

 

Emily Blunt

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Generated by IJG JPEG Library

Kate: I really hate this neckline and sleeve style on almost anyone anytime anywhere. But the dress itself is really lovely.

Erica: Yeah, I saw her and I thought, “Oh, she looks lovely!” And then I looked at the dress and wondered why I wasn’t having a problem with it.

Kate: The earrings, her hair and her makeup with the dress are overall very elegant, clean and beautiful.

Erica: Maybe that’s why. Proper accessorizing is key, ladies! Not as key as proper boob management, but key!

 

Emma Stone

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Generated by IJG JPEG Library

Kate: Meh.

Erica: I disliked it. I thought it was trying to be something that it did not achieve.

Kate: I don’t even have a strong enough bad reaction to this to say much, it’s just plain boring. I get what she was trying to do but bleh. Her Globes dress was wayyyyy better.

Erica: Oh, well, her Globes dress was dreamy.

 

Evan Rachel Wood

attends the 23rd Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards at The Shrine Expo Hall on January 29, 2017 in Los Angeles, California.

attends the 23rd Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards at The Shrine Expo Hall on January 29, 2017 in Los Angeles, California.

Kate: She already DID the suit thing, though!

Erica: She said to Giuliana Rancic that she’s doing it all season. It’s, like, a statement or something. (I was mostly fast-forwarding through the interviews, but Jason really likes her on Westworld so he wanted me to stop. He wouldn’t believe that there was just going to be inane nattering about clothing until he heard it for himself.)

Kate: It’s a different color than the one at the Globes but still too similar; I wanted to see something else from her tonight.

Erica: It wasn’t as perfect as her last one. I don’t like the cropped pants or the velvet.

 

Gwendoline Christie

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Generated by IJG JPEG Library

Kate: I honestly really liked this when I first saw it and remembered how much I liked her Globes gown and was happy to see her go down this better fashion path, and then I saw the pants tucked into the very matching boots.

Erica: I thought she looked great, but also, it’s a sequined jumpsuit.

Kate: It’s just TOO Pirates of the Caribbean for me.

Erica: I heard a bit of her interview, too. I think she said it’s a Vivienne Westwood, and she likes Vivienne Westwood because Vivienne Westwood is a bit of a political radical. I like Vivienne Westwood, too — she’s responsible for my favorite SatC outfit ever — but this is a sequined jumpsuit. Tucked into matching boots.

sags-17-satc-suit

 

Janelle Monae

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Generated by IJG JPEG Library

Kate: I think her thing is wearing black and white only, and usually somewhat outrageous black and white. This is actually subdued for her, and lovely.

Erica: I liked the Globes one way better. Like, I loved the Globes one. I thought it was quirk done perfectly. This is not.

Kate: I think the ruffle bracelets and pigtail buns kind of cheapen it, but I suppose she had to add the kookiness somewhere.

Erica: I hate the silhouette a lot. I actually thought the pigtail buns were cute given her whole vibe, but that the poofiness was too weird.

 

Julia Louis-Dreyfus

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Generated by IJG JPEG Library

Kate: Yyaassss a little pattern action from my girl JLD!

Erica: I knew you would love this. It did look really excellent.

Kate: I absolutely adore the retro hair, too. Flawless as per usual. Ladies, take notes.

 

Julie Bowen

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Generated by IJG JPEG Library

Kate: This kind of reminds me of Katie Maloney’s wedding dress, but I don’t hate it as much. I don’t hate it at all, but I also don’t enjoy it.

Erica: Have we seen Katie Maloney’s wedding dress? I don’t remember. Never mind that she shouldn’t be getting married at all. Anyway. This is very different for Julie Bowen but not good. Just different.

Kate: Yes, there are pictures on the interwebs.

 

Kate Hudson

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Generated by IJG JPEG Library

Kate: This is one of those rare moments where I don’t like what Kate Hudson is wearing; I’m usually all over her.

Erica: I don’t like it. But it’s also not my thing. So is it succeeding at being the kind of thing it wants to be? I think it is succeeding moderately.

Kate: First of all, I feel like she has done this same sequin bandeau top dress before in white and in beige, so I’m mad at the lack of creativity. I’m also mad at the overall ugliness of the gown, particularly of that gross flower element. Hate to do it, but Worst Dressed nominee!

 

Kerry Washington

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Generated by IJG JPEG Library

Kate: Well, I dislike it LESS than I usually dislike her red carpet looks, but I still dislike it. It lacks originality, it’s too much material, and it’s too similar to something Beyoncé wore once.

Erica: Yes. On a scale of Kerry Washington, this is at least a B.

Kate: I do like the retro hair and sleeves, though. Very 70s disco.

 

Maisie Williams

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Generated by IJG JPEG Library

Kate: Oh I would love this so much without that damn dark purple/red/black Gothic lip. The dress looks darling on her!

Erica: So I had a negative reaction to the lipstick at first, too, but I think she’s going for this ‘20s silent film star thing and once I thought about it in that context, it worked.

Kate: Then regular old red would have been just fine. I really love the dress, and only someone with that little a frame could pull it off. Effing lipstick.

Erica: But you know her. She can’t just look pretty. She has to have a little something extra. A little character. The lipstick — as much as I do not like it — is part of the character.

 

Meryl Streep

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Generated by IJG JPEG Library

Kate: Sneaky @s$ Meryl, taking us all by surprise and actually DOING the red carpet this time. In a very non-Meryl gown. Or muumuu, actually.

Erica: I know, right?! Nicest muumuu she’s ever worn. Whatever, she’s still Meryl, and so whether or not I like this is still irrelevant. You know, I had TiVo’d the movie Doubt ages ago, in which she plays a nun convinced that the priest at her school/church is doing unspeakable things with one of the students. I finally watched it this week. I forget sometimes that she is a masterful actress. She’s such an institution that I forget that she actually deserves all the accolades she gets.

 

Michelle Williams

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Generated by IJG JPEG Library

Kate: I know everyone is going to fall all over themselves about this because it’s Michelle Williams and she is FASHION and she is COUTURE, but I am anti.

Erica: I can’t figure out how I feel about this. Partially because I couldn’t tell if it was skirt or pants. But her makeup looked nice, I thought.

Kate: On the preshow she looked very uncomfortable walking down the carpet, so I think those sequin plates were pretty uncomfortable.

 

Natalie Portman

sags-17-natalie-portman

Kate: Oh my god what do we even do with her? Most precious elegant flawless classy chic perfect pregnant person ever. In love with this look.

Erica: She does look glowing. And like she continues to be inspired by the woman she depicted.

Kate: Yes! It honestly looks really comfortable, but what do I know about being comfortable while pregnant or on the red carpet?

Erica: Yeah, I think comfort is a thing of the past for her at the moment no matter what she’s wearing. This is amazing because she looks gorgeous on any scale, no matter how unforgiving, AND she does it while about to give birth.

 

Nicole Kidman

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Generated by IJG JPEG Library

Kate: Oh dear.

Erica: This made me angry. Like, I was ranting all night.

Kate: She wasn’t satisfied with the absurdity of her Globes dress, she had to do this to us?

Erica: THERE ARE MFING PARROTS ON HER SHOULDERS. MADE OF SEQUINS! Is she 97 years old and living in Boca Raton and going to take her walker aboard the offshore casino? Tell you about that time she threw her panties at Tony Bennett? No? Oh, then there shouldn’t be SEQUINED PARROTS on her shoulders!

Kate: I don’t even feel the need to comment on the dress, it speaks for itself. Worst Dressed nominee, and it would take a lot for someone else to take it from her.

Erica: I have already settled on her.

 

Octavia Spencer

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Generated by IJG JPEG Library

Kate: Uh oh.

Erica: Yeah?

Kate: I…actually…like…the…peplum. What?!

Erica: Oh. Well, take two aspirin and lie down for a bit. I’m sure you’ll feel like yourself again soon. I still dislike the mesh neck thing, so I’m feeling fine about myself.

Kate: She’s not Best Dressed by far, but she looks very nice.

 

Salma Hayek

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Generated by IJG JPEG Library

Kate: Remember that scene in 27 Dresses where Katherine Heigl tries on all the ugly bridesmaid dresses she had to wear?

Erica: I was thinking she was some sort of first draft for Disney’s first Hispanic princess. Or a dress for Julie, the 1974 American Girl doll.

Kate: No further comment.

 

Sofia Vergara

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Generated by IJG JPEG Library

Kate: A strapless tea-length with dainty shoes for Sofia? I’m shocked. (Yes, it’s tea-length, not t-length, which I learned while watching E! Fashion Police after the Globes this year, and Melissa Rivers actually made a great point: These occasions call for black tie or evening wear; tea-length is for TEA. IN THE DAYTIME.)

Erica: Oh, really? When I was co-directing the Vagina Monologues, in which my sister-in-law performed, she and her queer friends kept telling me I had to come with them to this lesbian bar in Andersonville. I thought they were calling it Tease, which is a great name for a lesbian bar. Turns out it was T’s, and it was just a regular bar with pool tables and burgers, that happened to be in a lesbian neighborhood. I was a little disappointed.

Kate: That was quite the little tangent. I don’t love the different-colored top and skirt and the different sequin styles on each, but I am overall pleased with the general change. She looks like she is not, though.

Erica: Really? I sort of hate it. Except for the shoes.

 

Sophia Bush

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Generated by IJG JPEG Library

Kate: Since day one of One Tree Hill I have thought this woman was one of the most gorgeous people I had ever seen, and always so underrated. This hot pink monstrosity — around her eyes and on her body — does not help that.

Erica: No, it does not. She is really gorgeous; she just doesn’t look it in this.

Kate: I also hate the hair — is it wet? Is it gelled? Is it curly? Is it straight? Hate it all.

Erica: I hate the eyeshadow most of all. NOT AS MUCH AS I HATE THE SEQUINED PARROTS THOUGH.

 

Sophie Turner

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Generated by IJG JPEG Library

Kate: Absolute fire.

Erica: In an almost literal way, with that color and that hair.

Kate: She is my new favorite young person to watch on the red carpet. I love this on her. Best Dressed nominee!

Erica: She really does look amazing. She is like eleven feet tall.

 

Taraji P. Henson

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Generated by IJG JPEG Library

Kate: This would be just the right amount of not-what-she-usually-wears without the stupid black bows.

Erica: She’s really very lovely as a human. I do not like this dress.

Kate: Also, way too much boob. The designer should have added a few more sequins around the middle!

Erica: The boobs, the neckline, the mesh, the black bows…It’s all just too weird a shape.

 

Thandie Newton

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Generated by IJG JPEG Library

Kate: Ok so this would not be a dress I usually like for any occasion, but I really like that it’s such a great nod to her role on Westworld. Like, I’m wondering if the show’s costume designers had a hand in this (pun intended)?

Erica: I love the whimsy. I think she’s just so beautiful.

Kate: I do not, however, love the hair, but it’s barely even noticeable.

Erica: Well, the weird shoulder thing is distracting.

 

Viola Davis

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Generated by IJG JPEG Library

Kate: This is really lovely but I just wish it were a softer ivory or cream color, that bright white is so hard for anyone to pull off.

Erica: I think she does pull it off. I like bright white on dark-skinned ladies.

Kate: I do, for once, like a necklace with a strapless dress! And it’s this one!

 

Winona Ryder

attends The 23rd Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards at The Shrine Auditorium on January 29, 2017 in Los Angeles, California.

attends The 23rd Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards at The Shrine Auditorium on January 29, 2017 in Los Angeles, California.

Kate: Again, the woman looks like she was just let out of an asylum. Wtf is going on here?

Erica: Jason kept asking me if she was on drugs. I just kept pointing out that we have to watch Stranger Things; it sounds like it is 100% made of Things Jason Likes.

Kate: Drugs seem likely given her facial expressions throughout her castmate’s speech.

Erica: So, Nicole Kidman is the Worst Dressed human ever. This dress will go down in history as a Top Ten Worst Red Carpet Looks Ever in the history of the universe. I will brook no argument.

Kate: Ok. I hope the Fashion Gods (Brad Goreski, mostly) agree.

Erica: I’m thinking Natalie Portman for Best?

Kate: Tie between her and JLD and Sophie Turner? No, we must pick one.

Erica: I feel like Natalie Portman edges them out by being both more interesting and also about to give birth.

Golden Globes 2017

Kate: I feel like it’s extra-special that the Golden Globes are on my birthday this year.

Erica: They did it just for you.

Kate: However, I haven’t seen nor do I have much interest in seeing a LOT of the nominated films. TV shows yes, films no. Who am I turning into?

Erica: America, basically. Look, they’re making really good TV now. And there are more and more ways to watch it, most of which involving your PJs and some good takeout. Meanwhile, they are not making as many really good movies, and sometimes you have to leave your house to see them.

Kate: Alas.

 

Amy Adams

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Kate: Love the hair sleekness and how it’s behind her ears/neck, very elegant on her.

Erica: Yes, from the neck up, I like it.

Kate: The dress is a little been-there-done-that, but I like that it’s darker and bolder than her usual choices.

Erica: I do not like the dress. I mean, it’s not the kind of thing I’d like anyway, but I don’t think the execution is fantastic. The neckline is weird and it’s too long. It’s not awful, but I don’t love it.

 

Amy Schumer

Kate: I finally really, really like her red carpet look. This dress is extremely flattering and looks, like, really comfortable, and I love her hair just relaxed and down like that. It ALMOST looks like she didn’t even get it done, which in this case I am OK with.

Erica: I didn’t record the telecast, and for reasons that are not at all clear to me, I’m not seeing pics of her on Getty Images. Or, like, anywhere. I’ve got a bunch of neck-up shots of her on stage with Goldie Hawn.

Kate: Yea, she apparently didn’t do the red carpet, but posted a heck of a lot of pictures on her Instagram, hence the one photo that does not look like the rest. The only thing I don’t like is the illusion material between her cleavage — it seems to be a trend tonight, and I am really not sure why.

Erica: So she’s too good for red carpet now? Yes, I see what you mean. I guess she was trying to eschew the big cleavage display other women were rocking, but I feel like in the battle between too much cleavage and weird illusion thingie, cleavage must win.

Kate: Agreed!

 

Anna Chlumsky

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Kate: Worst Dressed nominee. Yuck.

Erica: On a scale of Anna Chlumsky to Anna Chlumsky, this is a solid B. On a scale of normal human to Anna Chlumsky, this is a definite fail. So yes, still in the running for Worst Dressed. But also, pat on the back for picking a good color and a thing that sort of resembles a dress other people might wear?

Kate: Ok, the color is great, but I hate when she parts her hair down the middle and pulls it back like that, the hoop earrings are way too big and, seriously, hoop earrings on the red carpet? The shape is all wrong and the pops of black on the shoulder and feet are too too much. Really hate it.

Erica: Well, with her hair slicked back like that and her ears sticking out, the hoops are…I think they might be a cry for help.

 

Anna Kendrick

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Kate: I feel like this dress has been done so many times, and the color does absolutely nothing for her. That and the dark dark makeup against her pale pale skin are terrible, and the boob cups are awkward.

Erica: She also spent all her time on the red carpet looking like a 16-year-old being forced to go to her cousin’s bat mitzvah. On the plus side, I hear Pitch Perfect 3 has started filming!

Kate: Oh, heck yes.

 

Blake Lively

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Kate: I think this would be perfect without the pockets. She looks uncomfortable posing with her hands in them, but the rest of the dress is gorgeous.

Erica: I try to have an opinion about Blake Lively and I cannot come up with one. I don’t mean about her ensemble, which is not my taste but pretty glam and I like the matching bracelets, I mean her whole persona. It’s like my mind can’t rest on her long enough to form an opinion. I feel similarly about Jimmy Fallon, actually.

Kate: Is it because she’s so perfect? I just want her hair to be looser. It’s fabulous hair, let it shine!

 

Brie Larson

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Kate: Tiniest waist ever!

Erica: Yeah, she is itty-bitty. I think if you tried to kidnap her and hold her in your attic, she could just slip out under the door.

Kate: I absolutely love the dress, particularly on her. I don’t even mind the matchy-lipstick, but I do mind the hair down. In this case, I think it should have been (loosely) swept up away from her face to give that dress neckline all the attention it deserves. Best Dressed nominee?

Erica: I think she looks really beautiful. Even with the hair down. I think she looks like she’s playing dress-up in her glamorous aunt’s closet, but I mean that in a good way.

 

Carrie Underwood

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Kate: She is one of the only people in Hollywood (does singing count as “Hollywood”? Should I say “Celebrity World” instead?) who can pull off that color and look stunning, so I give her that.

Erica: Sure. I guess you can give her something.

Kate: I like the elegant straightness of the skirt of the dress, but I think the swirly-ruffly top is too much. Maybe ONE swirl-ruffle around the waist or shoulder would have been fine, but this way it’s too overwhelming. It’s like, interfering with her gorgeous face and hair!

Erica: It looks like someone tried to “modernize” that dress from the last scene of My Fair Lady (Zoe just got the Barbie of this) but then Tim Gunn said “Time’s up!” and they couldn’t finish it. They did not make it work.

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Chrissy Teigen

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Kate: I. Thought. We. Were. Done. With. The. Peplum.

Erica: Oddly enough, our opinions do not have any influence over actual celebrities.

Kate: But this would be so GLAM if the damn peplum weren’t there! The ruffling at the top makes her look top-heavy, and would make anyone look a little top-heavy, so perhaps she wanted the peplum to balance that out, but BLEH.

Erica: I don’t know, I think there’s a lot wrong with the dress besides the peplum. And the execution of the peplum. It looks like the boudoir of a Victorian courtesan past her prime.

 

Connie Britton

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Kate: Didn’t even know she was there until reviewing the photos this morning, but I’m hoping this looked better in action.

Erica: It couldn’t possibly have.

Kate: The hair is of course great, makeup is light and fine, COLOR of the gown is swell, but pattern/cut? Not so much.

Erica: That neckline is stupid and she keeps doing this! She keeps acting like she is not fabulous!

Kate: She is, though, she is!!!

 

Drew Barrymore

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Kate: Ian said she looks like the ceiling of the new World Trade Center PATH/subway station, and I think I agree, but I don’t know if that’s inappropriate to say, but I like it a lot. The dress and the station.

Erica: I don’t know what the new subway station looks like, but I could imagine. And I’m so pleased you like it! I like it a lot but I thought you would not! Plus she looks like she’s having a great time in it.

Kate: THIS dark lip I like, and I also like her hair all mussed up and a little darker like that. She looks a little nuts in the photo, but looked great when presenting.

 

Emma Stone

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Kate: This type of dress seems to be the theme of the night, no?

Erica: Is the theme of the night “dreamy”?

Kate: I like it. I don’t love it. The hair is meh, the necklace is SO UNNECESSARY, and I can’t help but focus on that ONE star to the left of her belly button. Was that intentional, you think?

Erica: I didn’t agree with you about the necklace until I thought about it and you are correct.

Kate: She also seemed very moody about the whole thing last night, which threw me off, as she is usually quite cheery.

Erica: Huh. Anna Kendrick is usually in a little better mood, too. I wonder if there was something specific they were grumpy about.

Kate: #DonaldTrump?

 

Evan Rachel Wood

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Kate: I kind of love this. I know everyone has done the whole women-wearing-tuxes on the red carpet thing a lot over the last few years, but she is ROCKING it. I love her makeup, and even her hair. I would never want MY hair to look like that, but it’s perfect for the overall thing. Great lines.

Erica: I hate the hair color. A lot. But she’s really bringing the whole menswear thing home in all other ways.

 

Gwendoline Christie

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Kate: Nicest I’ve ever seen her look.

Erica: I was so amazed when I saw this. I thought she looked so completely amazing. I hope she put this up on the facebook page she has that only friends and family can see, but then tagged all the people she knows from middle school, so that anyone who was friends with them could see, so she could be like, “In your stupid, non-glam faces, you meanies!”

Kate: The paleness of the dress shouldn’t look good against the paleness of her skin and hair, but it all works perfectly together. Love the makeup too.

Erica: Check it out, even this dude is like, “Damn, Gwendoline Christie! You fine!”

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Hailee Steinfeld

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Kate: This is reminiscent of Mila Kunis’s Oscar dress from a few years ago, but not as good. I think it’s the sleeves.

Erica: She kept posing like she was in a photo shoot instead of a step-and-repeat. That said, I think this look is a great example of how if your hair and makeup are perfect, your dress can be a little…Less so.

Kate: Agree on the perfect hair and makup. I overall feel good feelings toward her, though, because I love that catchy little song of hers.

Erica: Huh, that is a pretty cute song. She has a good voice. I don’t know why that’s surprising to me, given that I’m a Pitch Perfect superfan.

Kate: She’s in Pitch Perfect?!

Erica: Did you not see Pitch Perfect 2? That needs to be corrected. Come over, Zoe and I will watch with you.

Kate: I did but don’t think I paid enough attention, obviously.

 

Heidi Klum

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Kate: Finally, she doesn’t look like an absolute NUTTER on the red carpet!

Erica: I mean, again, on a scale of Heidi Klum, it’s a solid A minus. On a scale of regular people I still don’t like it.

Kate: I don’t think it’s all that great, but hey, it’s NOT crazy!

 

Janelle Monae

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Erica: This is crazy. In so many wonderful perfect ways.

Kate: Ok so I really like it, it’s like a modern pop art version of a dress that could have been in (the original) Sabrina.

Erica: To me, this is how you do crazy. You execute it perfectly. The silhouette is perfect. Your hair and makeup are perfect. And then you walk around like you are the happiest human in the world to have the opportunity to be this delightful.

Kate: Yea! Not a Best Dressed nominee, but extremely pleasing to look at.

 

Jessica Biel

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Kate: Hot damn!

Erica: This is a woman who didn’t bother with any mesh inserts.

Kate: Rightfully so. I absolutely adore this. I love her hair, makeup, and earrings, and top of the dress. The skirt is a bit wacky, but the overall LOOK is WOW.

Erica: I thought this would be too wacky for you. I like it, because it’s not boring.

Kate: Just the skirt. Everything else, wow.

 

Jessica Chastain

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Kate: Oh, this is so terrible.

Erica: Yeah? I think it’s all right. Major boobs — another one not bothering with mesh inserts — but all right.

Kate: Hair is OK but a little too severe, makeup is fine, hate the necklace, hate the dress shape, hate the dress color and pattern and everything else. Is it supposed to be like shifted off her shoulders like that, and also suffocating her boobs like that?

Erica: Okay, I do hate the necklace, and I want 95% of people to wear their hair looser. Like, in the world. But I don’t think it’s terrible.

Kate: I do.

 

Julia Louis-Dreyfus

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Kate: I mean, fab as always.

Erica: The same kind of fab.

Kate: It’s a BIT more interesting than what she usually wears, while still in that black-and-white, form-fitting safe zone, complete with loose waves and nice makeup. JLD stays killin’ it.

Erica: I do love the hair.

 

Kerry Washington

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Kate: No.

Erica: I don’t fully understand how you wake up every morning in, like, your PJs and your hair all mussed and no makeup on, and you look like Kerry Washington, and then you decide to f it all up.

Kate: Awful length. Awful color. Awful pattern. Awful sleeves. Awful dark purple lip. ONLY thing I like is her hair.

Erica: Even on a scale of Kerry Washington, this is no better than a D. You know, I once read a romance novel in which the heroine was using makeup and clothes and such to look hideous, because she worked in a bar and didn’t want the kind of attention (read: assault) that could come with being as gorgeous as she was. Maybe Kerry Washington is similarly trying to hide from abusive men.

Kate: No, she thinks this looks good. She looked in the mirror and thought, “Yes”. And therein lies the problem.

Erica: You don’t know. You don’t know her life.

Kate: Someone told her it looks good, and that someone should be fired.

 

Kristen Bell

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Kate: I continue to think she is extremely perfect looking.

Erica: She is. I don’t love this look. I feel like maybe she looked over at Evan Rachel Wood and went, “Dammit! That’s what I should have done!”

Kate: No, she would look terrible in that. I love how she always rocks the short blond hairdos, her makeup is always natural-ish yet stunning, and she pulls off the deep V-necks very well. This cut might be way too boxy on someone else, but on her it works great.

Erica: Meh. Not in love.

Kate: I will say that I thought it was a pants thing when I first saw it, and I may have liked it better as pants, but it’s still great.

 

Kristen Wiig

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Kate: So you know what? I actually like her hair shorter like this. And her makeup looks great.

Erica: I thought for sure she was someone else when I saw her. Just like I thought Annette Bening was Elizabeth Warren for a second and then started dreaming about the movie of Elizabeth Warren.

Kate: I don’t hate the dress, but I think it could be better with just a few more alterations. Like chopping off those sleeves. I am anti-sleeve, I think.

Kate’s Work Friend Michael: It looks like a tea doily.

Erica: I would go with a lower neck.

Kate: But with no sleeves and her slender frame and shorter hair the higher neck may work, no?

 

Kristin Cavallari

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Kate: Super not sure why she is there, but she looks damn good. Similar to Amy Schumer’s dress, though, I don’t like the illusion material between the boobies. If you’re letting them out, let them OUT for goodness sake!

Erica: Pretending I don’t know who she is.

Kate: On second thought, it kind of looks like the boobies are too big for the dress, like the material is barely holding her up and in.

Erica: She looks like Red Carpet Barbie.

 

Louise Roe

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Erica: This is extra, this-site-only content. Kate didn’t want to include her because she’s a fashion TV reporter type person who maybe used to be on an MTV reality show. Had I known that before falling in love with her dress, I might have excluded her, too. But I really f-ing love this dress.

 

Maisie Williams

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Kate: Wait, I love this dress. It’s so elegant and simple, unlike her usual quirky choices. Though I suppose the quirkiness is in the hair there.

Erica: I think it’s just the right amount of elegance, and then the quirk from the hair and accessories. Good job, Maisie.

 

Mandy Moore

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Kate: Effing fantastic. I thought “Best Dressed nominee!” the very SECOND I laid eyes on her.

Erica: I think she looks extremely skinny but very lovely. I love the cape.

Kate: The soft waves tucked behind the ears, the earrings, the natural-ish makeup, the cut of the dress, I even like the cape, and I feel like I have been kind of anti-cape. I did, however, think this dress was black on the red carpet, but now it looks navy blue, but it honestly doesn’t matter. So so fab.

Erica: I think I’d like it a lot less if it were black.

 

Meryl Streep

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Kate: It’s a perfectly Meryl dress, but I kind of wish she hadn’t rocked the glasses this time. I know she doesn’t give one F, but yea.

Erica: One thing we can say about Meryl is, no one is talking about her dress this morning.

Kate: That’s like, her theme in life. I also love/hate how she NEVER does the red carpet and I ALWAYS have to DIG through the interwebs for anything resembling a full-length dress photo. Damn you, Meryl!

 

Michelle Williams

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Kate: I get why the black bow necklace is there, but I think I’d like the dress better without it. She overall looks lovely, though. Understated.

Erica: No I think it’s key. I’d like a very slightly redder lip. Like, not full-on red, but a lovely, pouty tint.

 

Natalie Portman

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Kate: I did not know she was pregnant until I saw her in this dress, and I knew right away because why would anyone wear this type of dress if they WEREN’T pregnant?

Erica: Well, perhaps if one had recently starred in a Jackie O biopic.

Kate: I think it looks lovely if not a bit boring, but I LOVE that her hair and makeup are very retro, like she’s still in character for Jackie kinda. She’s so damn gorgeous.

Erica: Yeah. I guess she loved the role a lot.

 

Nicole Kidman

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Kate: Ugh, this makes me so upset.

Erica: Has she been in anything lately? Because I recall she used to be pretty good.

Kate: Looks like she was in that nominated movie Lion, and is now doing that Big Little Lies thing on HBO. It would honestly be perfectly nice enough without those sleeve THINGS. And if she hadn’t just done something completely terrible (and artificial) to her face. She looks a hot damn mess.

Erica: I feel sorry for actresses of a certain age with regard to their faces. It’s a damned-if-you-do, damned-if-you-don’t situation. I will not extend my sympathy to those sleeves, however. Or the fact of the sleeves + sequins + feathers. Pick one. And don’t pick the sleeves.

 

Priyanka Chopra

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Kate: I was v impressed with her throughout last year’s award show season, but am not so thrilled with this. The color is great on her and the dress is nice, but she doesn’t need the necklace, and I am fairly against the super-dark lip.

Erica: The dark lip is fine except that it, as well as the rest of the look, is a little boring.

Kate: If anyone COULD pull off the super-dark lip, it’d be her, I just don’t love it.

Erica: Also, hello, boobs. Lot of boobs this year. There’s a joke somewhere to be made about Golden Globes, but I’m too much of a lady to make it.

 

Reese Witherspoon

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Kate: Omg wow, fab fab fab. Best dressed nominee.

Erica: Yeah? I think, boring. Gorgeous, but boring.

Kate: I mean yes this is kind of what she always wears, but wow. So fab. I don’t even mind the dress-same-color-as-hair thing here. Wow!

 

Sarah Jessica Parker

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Kate: I could not hate this Little-House-On-The-Prairie hairdo more if I tried. And I don’t want to try.

Erica: I don’t hate the theory of the hair, as I know you do. But the execution is bad.

Kate: I also hate how wrinkly this dress material is, and I feel like has been making that mistake a lot lately on the red carpet. Does she just not REALLY care anymore, do you think?

Erica: I think she cares more about being unusual than she does about proper execution.

Kate: As a self-proclaimed fashionista, I feel that she should absolutely care about proper execution.

 

Sienna Miller

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Kate: This reminds me so much like one of the Nicole Miller bridal gowns I almost wanted to buy, and I think that’s the only reason I’m including it here. The pearl necklace and the black bow in her hair (can’t see it here but could see it clearly when she presented an award) make her look like a deranged school girl.

Erica: The pearl necklace looks fake and everything you tried on in Nicole Miller looked better than this. And I made you try on a lot of things. I really liked that ‘20s-ish number. Not for a wedding, just for a dress.

 

Sofia Vergara

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Kate: So, now we know why she should stick to mermaid bottoms and loose flowy waves. This looks insane.

Erica: Well, whenever she veers away from the tried and true, she gets very ‘80s. I suppose even her tried-and-true is a little ‘80s, but not in a bad way.

Kate: The earrings are way too much with the dress beading, and the shoulder openings/neckline are just confusing. Honestly, I think she didn’t wear her hair down in loose flowy waves because she was worried about it getting snagged on that intense beading.

Erica: Legit worry.

 

Sophie Turner

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Kate: Um, wow.

Erica: For real.

Kate: I wouldn’t normally like this actual dress, but the overall THING with her hair and makeup and general bad-ass-don’t-F-with-me ‘tude, I kind of love it.

Erica: Yes, the dress as an object, I do not like. But on her, with her height and accessories and attitude? C’est magnifique! I hope for so many good things for you in 2017, Sansa!

 

Thandie Newton

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Kate: The flamy sparkly bottom kind of throws me off, but without it it’d be a boring white dress.

Erica: The dress as a whole object makes no sense to me.

Kate: I really like her hair, makeup, and that necklace thing, though. A lot.

Erica: The necklace thing is really cool. Really, really cool. Also, I like her name and I think she’s in my top 10 prettiest people.

 

Viola Davis

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Kate: Quite similar to Maisie Williams, no?

Erica: No. They’re just both yellow.

Kate: This shade of yellow is great on her but the sequin-ness of it kind of messes it up. I also still need her to find a new makeup artist, I don’t think whoever it is does a great job of highlighting her best features.

Erica: I think she’s, like, way more invested in her art, you know? I think she just wears what is appropriate to wear on a red carpet but isn’t super invested in it.

Kate: Blue eyeshadow is never appropriate to wear on a red carpet.

 

Winona Ryder

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Kate: Quite terrible.

Erica: Oh, I don’t know. I’d say it’s fairly run-of-the-mill.

Kate: She looks scary and weird and like if you talked to her she’d freak you right the heck out, like a subway creature. Same wrinkly material problem as SJP.

Erica: No, no, she looks like she’d freak out. She looks terrified in every picture of her. Honey, I know it’s been a while, but the red carpet will not eat you.

 

Final Decision

Erica: So my Best Dressed is either Janelle Monae or Gwendoline Christie. Or Drew Barrymore. So many ladies brought it this year.

Kate: Oh no, we must go with Mandy Moore.

Erica: We must? Well, alright. I did like it. But I liked so many people!

Kate: It’s a good problem to have.

Erica: So many ladies brought the crazy, too, but most of them were not on our list of people we know/write about. I kind of want to give Worst Dressed to Carrie Underwood. But I might be carrying some sort of anti-Carrie Underwood thing around because I only just a few weeks ago heard her Monday Night Football intro song thing and I was horrified. Like, viscerally horrified.

Kate: No way, she is not Worst Dressed by far! What about SJP?

Erica: Yeah, that’s pretty bad, too. Sofia Vergara was bad, but, like, expected bad. And I don’t want to give it to Anna Chlumsky because she looked better than she usually does at these things, but on the other hand, should we really grade on a curve? And do I actually hate her look more than I hate SJP’s? I might. Oh, and there’s also Nicole Kidman to consider.

Kate: Oh, ok, Nicole then. Definitely Nicole.

Erica: I feel good about this decision.

Emmys 2016

Kate: Life has seriously gotten in the way for both of us recently, eh? We didn’t even know the Emmys were coming up until a few days ago!

Erica: I just had a baby. I like this as an excuse for my usual state of obliviousness. And I’m telling you, this sleep deprivation that comes with a new baby is really messing with my head, because I could have sworn I saw Jeb Bush do a bit in the opening sketch for this thing. But that had to be some sort of fever dream, right?

Kate: Yea that didn’t happen…Well, new babies and traveling for work (my excuse) aside, here’s what we REALLY care about (JK, we care about Sadie and work too, but this is more fun at the moment):

America Ferrera

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Kate: Ok so she looks great from the neck up — love the makeup and the hair, albeit a little casual — and at first I was like, ‘Oh that dress is nice’, but then I was like, ‘What’s going on around the waist?’, and then I was like ‘Wait…ARE THOSE PANTS?’ Is this a sequined jumpsuit? Or is the dress just…splitting weird between the legs?

Erica: I actually thought the makeup was a little blah. And yeah, that appears to be a sparkly jumpsuit. Which doesn’t even offend me on a visceral level any more. I don’t know why not.

Kate: Either way, I also don’t love the color of her earrings with the color of the I-can’t-tell-if-it’s-a-dress-or-a-jumpsuit. So this is now all confusing and upsetting me.

Erica: For what it’s worth, Jason thinks she’s gotten more attractive.

 

Amy Poehler

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Kate: Oh dear, none of this works. None whatsoever.

Erica: Is she pregnant? Not that it would make it okay, but it would explain it a little.

Kate: That green is all wrong with that hair, which, why is it that color right now?

Erica: Oh, I like the hair color.

Kate: You know how much it pains me to say anything bad about Amy, though, so let’s keep moving.

 

Amy Schumer

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Kate: Mmmmmph this is too similar to what she wore last year (minus that INSANE hair), and WAY too similar to what her sister is wearing. I’m sure they did that on purpose, but it doesn’t really work. Neither of them could slap on a pair of earrings for cryin’ out loud?

Erica: I feel like, if you want to dress similarly like that, the dresses should be a little more stand-out, so it looks like you did it on purpose, instead of just you both chose black gowns. And yes, the look requires some nice jewelry, a strong lip, and a better bra.

Kate: I don’t even feel bad about us saying any of this because I just read her book and she is most perfectly fine with herself and doesn’t give one F what I think, nor should she, and I have a lot of respect for that.

Erica: I have to say, regarding my opinion of her character, the Kurt Metzger thing is throwing me.

Kate: No no no, that’s not fun, fashion is fun. Fun things only here!

 

Angela Bassett

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Erica: First, she looks fabulous. Second, I love the dress — flowy, sexy but not trashy, age-appropriate in a way that makes you WISH you were “of a certain age”. Third, only dark-skinned ladies can wear that color.

Kate: Yes, that color does look a lot great against darker skin, but you’ll see later on how a white woman (almost) pulls it off…

 

Anna Chlumsky

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Kate: Oh good god.

Erica: So…is she…pregnant? Sorry, I know that I’ve already asked that. I just don’t understand this. I don’t know how one could be sane and choosing this as a garment.

Kate: Are you implying that being pregnant equates to not being sane? 🙂 JK. She was pregnant a while ago, she might be again, but even so, there is absolutely nothing right about this — color, silhouette, length(s), material, oh it’s all just so bad. Worst Dressed nominee already!

Erica: Having just been pregnant, yes, that’s what I’m saying. One thing, though — she does have fab legs.

Kate: There are better ways to show them off.

 

Ariel Winter

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Kate: While this is a beautiful piece of couture, it really does not work on her. It makes her look very boxy and masculine on top and hides her wonderful curves on bottom. I don’t even think it would look that good on a more slender girl…

Erica: I disagree that it is a beautiful piece of couture. I hate all of it.

Kate: Well, you hate side cutouts — I just mean it’s very FASHION and NOW and FASHION, but that doesn’t mean it should be worn on this particular person at this particular event.

 

Claire Danes

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Kate: Oh dear god, we have had some kind of TRAGIC accident with the spray tan machine. We need to hose her off!

Erica: I feel, like, physically uncomfortable looking at that. Like, my own skin feels all itchy and tight right now.

Kate: This is awful, I can’t look at anything else! Why is she so shiny and orange!! (It looked so much worse on the pre-show.)

Erica: I’m looking at it on E! It’s bad.

Kate: Fine, I’ll look at something else. Hair is quite boring, but that’s normal for her, dress is actually fab, and probably wouldn’t work if she were paler, but maybe if she were just a NORMAL shade of tan instead of that? OY!

Erica: Yeah, I like the dress. Way more than I usually like her dresses. But the skin is unfortunate.

 

Connie Britton

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Kate: Connie! I don’t like it.

Erica: Tami Taylor would NEVER.

Kate: The shoulder area takes away from that trademark hair, as does the color. Wah!

Erica: It’s so incredibly boxy. It’s like she’s actively trying to look less attractive.

 

Ellie Kemper

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Kate: Ohhh darn it, Ellie! I love you so much, and I love your makeup here, but that hairstyle and that dress age you DRASTICALLY.

Erica: Zoe feels the dress is like a picnic ball gown. I don’t hate it. I don’t like it. But. Her hair and makeup are too on-point for me to hate on her.

Kate: The dress looks like it’s made from someone’s living room curtains (or couch…or chair…) from the 70s. Truly awful. (But not nearly as awful as Anna Chlumsky, she’s still winning Worst Dressed so far.) I agree with you on makeup, but not on hair.

 

Emilia Clarke

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Kate: Is she the most tiny ever?

Erica: She is much tinier than I thought.

Kate: I am not sure what’s going on with her facial expression, but her dress is a little too 90s for me. Reminds me of Carrie Bradshaw’s naked dress, but longer.

Erica: I like it except that it’s a little too shiny.

Kate: It’s also way too bare with that color and that neckline and no jewelry — why not a more powerful earring or subtle yet sparkly necklace?

Erica: I agree on the necklace. That would have looked nice.

 

Emmy Rossum

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Kate: Couldn’t tell you what she’s doing at the Emmys, I just think she’s gosh darn gorgeous.

Erica: She’s in that series “Shameless”.

Kate: The dress itself is boring but beautiful, and I really love her hair and makeup. I had no reason to include her in this post other than I think she is stunning.

Erica: She is ridiculously pretty. And she wears white so well.

 

Felicity Huffman

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Kate: I never include her in these posts, but I really REALLY like her whole look this time. The dress is very elegant and appropriate, the hair and jewelry match perfectly.

Erica: The hair, I thought, was especially attractive. And the dress is pretty glam.

 

Heidi Klum

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Kate: I mean, she’s been wearing some INSANE things on the red carpet for, like, the last couple of years, and while this is less than ideal, it’s a vast improvement over that Big Bird thing and the lavender monstrosity and the straight-up Halloween costume she wore to New York Fashion Week this year.

Erica: Yes. This is like a normal person dress. Not a crazy person dress. I mean, it’s not my thing but it’s fine.

Kate: I wouldn’t go as far as “normal”, just normaler. Plus, it shows off her insane abs.

Erica: I like that she acknowledges how hard she works for that body.

 

Jane Krakowski

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Kate: This looks very kimono to me, no?

Erica: Yes. I like the color but not so much the dress.

Kate: The slit is a little high, but I L-O-V-E those SHOES! I feel like she bought the shoes first, and then was like, ‘I need a fun little blue number to wear with them’.

Erica: If that was the case, she could have done better.

Kate: I also prefer her hair with a little more texture to it, but that is possibly because I am currently watching 30 Rock and she always wore it curly on there.

 

Joanne Froggatt

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Kate: Wow, I really love her red carpet looks. I wonder if Brad Goreski still styles her?

Erica: She looks gorgeous but didn’t she wear something very similar before?

Kate: Possibly? She just embodies one of my favorite things: Effortlessly gorgeous. Soft, beautifully wavy hair (which looks, like, ATTAINABLE, you know?), perfectly subtle makeup, slinky blank strapless dress with a little lace element at the top. Safe, but love it.

Erica: Attainable for some people.

Kate: Yea, not really me, it just doesn’t look over-the-top styled. I may have done a clutch in something other than black, but that doesn’t make or break the ensemble. Also, CONFIRMED, styled by Brad again 🙂

 

Julia Louis Dreyfus

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Kate: Yup. Killed it.

Erica: As we have come to expect.

Kate: I love when Julia throws a little change-up at me, like a looser skirt and sexier hair. She can do no wrong!

Erica: I’m super into the hair. It looks really sexy. Really young and fun.

Kate: Oh my god, and then she won for Veep AGAIN and gave that adorable shaky sad speech about her dad and then they cut to Jerry looking so lovingly at her and I JUST. CAN. NOT.

Erica: I feel like you identify more with her than is fully reasonable. But that’s cool.

 

Julie Bowen

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Kate: A fairly standard Julie Bowen choice. I like the ruffle in the back because without it it’d be too boring for words, but I don’t like the metallic shoulder things. Tacky.

Erica: It’s so normal and not insane so I’m in favor of it.

Kate: I do like the short and very styled bob, which seems to be happening a lot here tonight, and the makeup.

Erica: Yeah, I’m into the hair. Very cool looking.

 

Kate McKinnon

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Kate: Wowwww I kind of love it?

Erica: I like it. I do not love it.

Kate: It’s not too much and it’s not too little, I even like the very loose and casual hair. I feel like I’m really GROWING as a person by liking more casual hair on the red carpet, you know?

Erica: Good for you.

 

Kerry Washington

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Kate: I am normally against Kerry Washington’s red carpet selections, but this is really quite lovely. I couldn’t tell at first if the dress had a cutout around her very pregnant belly or a tan stripe in the material, which I think means it is perfectly tailored to her body and very well made. (Note: It looked better in the pre-show video than in this photo. Trust me.)

Erica: I do think this is a pretty fab way to show off a pregnant belly. I’m just confused. Wasn’t she visibly pregnant back in February?

Kate: No, must have been several Februaries ago. I even like the cape-esque quality in the back. The only thing I don’t like is the hair, as it overwhelms her tiny self. A low sleek pony or bun would have made this one of the most perfectly elegant looks of the night, perhaps even a Best Dressed nominee.

Erica: I actually kind of like the hair. It makes the whole thing a “look”.

 

Kirsten Dunst

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Kate: Ehhhh…Hasn’t she worn this before?

Erica: I liked it until I saw the bottom.

Kate: Honestly, I feel like ever since she started doing red carpet again she has only worn versions of this, and this is not all that great.

Erica: I think she is not at all invested in the red carpet stuff.

Kate: Fair.

 

Kristen Bell

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Kate: Ok so, I really love this. I have always thought that she’s exceptionally gorgeous with exceptionally perfect teeth, and therefore an exceptionally perfect smile, so to me she always looks flawless from the neck up.

Erica: Her hair looks particularly nice tonight. I love her in general. And now she’s in a new show so that’s exciting.

Kate: From the neck down? Fabulous! I’m sure a lot of people won’t like the intricate pattern WITH the sparkle, and normally I wouldn’t, but I find it to be just lovely. The width of the skirt makes me feel like it’s more of an Oscars dress than Emmys, but when does Kristen Bell go to the Oscars, so why not, right?

Erica: I am surprised you like. It’s not normally your thing. But it is normally my thing and I do, in fact, love it.  

Kate: I KNOW! See? Growing as a person. Oh hell, BEST DRESSED NOMINEE!

 

Laverne Cox

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Kate: Ohhhhh yes. Love the hair.

Erica: She looks really good. So often she edges a touch pageant-y, and this falls on the right side of it this time.

Kate: I hate describing it this way, but the hair is very Kardashian, but that’s the ONLY thing I even REMOTELY like about the Kardashians, so I feel like it’s semi-okay to say.

Erica: I know so little of the Kardashians but I do feel they are generally attractively turned out.

Kate: As for the dress, it is V sexy and tailored absolutely perfectly to her body. The hair color and the skintone and the dress color are all a little too similar for me to make her a Best Dressed nominee, but overall I love the entire look.

 

Maisie Williams

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Kate: I really and truly do not like her hair. I feel like it’s just not her, it’s a wig or a trick or something, it’s not genuine Maisie.

Erica: Well, I think the hair sort of goes with the quirkiness of the outfit. Some sort of deliberately ‘60s-esque thing.

Kate: However, if I take the hair away, and focus on the dress, it’s not my favorite, but it is genuinely Maisie in its quirkiness and cuteness, so fine. Not my favorite, but fine. Minus the hair.

Erica: I think the look is complete, you know? It’s bold and she clearly enjoys going a little nutty on the red carpet. Given her costuming on the show, I can’t blame her.

 

Mandy Moore

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Kate: What is that FACE Mandy Moore?!

Erica: Her hair looks weird.

Kate: I like the hair and makeup fine, even if the blush is a little much, and I WANT to like the dress, but I just don’t know. Maybe I’d like it more if it weren’t sheer at the bottom? But then would it be too MUCH, the ruffles reminding us of a “Southern Belle” Halloween costume? I just don’t know.

Erica: No, I think the hair is what’s making her face look weird. Great makeup, though. Perfect lip color.

 

Michelle Dockery

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Kate: Speaking of Southern Belles, Michelle here is giving me modern-day Scarlett O’Hara — like she literally took one of the movie’s dresses and cut it up, in a good way — and I absolutely LOVE IT. Best Dressed nominee!

Erica: Really? I like it but it’s so not your usual thing.

Kate: On second thought, the black-and-white and the ruffles and the length make it a wee bit too…DAYTIME, but I still really like it!

Erica: Wow. Cool.

Kate: And THIS is how you do a dark red lip, Hollywood/media/world.

 

Minnie Driver

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Kate: I only saw this from the waist up at first, and I really liked it. I was like, ‘The color is a little 2-3 years ago, but Minnie Driver wasn’t super-relevant then (sorry), so it’s ok and it looks FAB on her tanned skin’. And I normally wouldn’t like pin-straight hair tucked behind the ears, but it works here.

Erica: No. I do not like this color on white girls.

Kate: Then I saw the length, and the side cutout, and those GROSS shoes. Black strappy shoes with a bright yellow dress that cuts off at the ankles? Close but no cigar, Min!

Erica: Not even close for me. The length kills any chance of me liking it.

 

Natasha Lyonne

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Kate: Well, it’s kind of a mashup of every black-and-white dress every Hollywood starlet has ever worn on the red carpet since the beginning of time, and she’s making a very odd face, but hey. It’s nice!

Erica: I don’t really like it but I don’t totally hate it. And her hair looks nice.

 

Neve Campbell

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Kate: Is this kind of what Joanne Froggatt is wearing but with more poof at the bottom? I like it just as much on her.

Erica: I like the lacy top.

Kate: And I LOOOOVVEEE her hair and makeup. Very elegant.

Erica: Yes. Perfection.

 

Priyanka Chopra

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Kate: Yep, she’s essentially perfect.

Erica: Gorgeous. Really stunning.

Kate: I think we are all overdoing it a little with the bright red/pink and/or deep red/purple lipstick, and this shade is a little too matchy-matchy with the color of that FAB dress, but it still looks great. I love the sleek low pony, too.

Erica: I don’t mind the matchy-matchy with lipstick. It kind of bothers me with the carpet but I realize I’m being silly.

Kate: No, I get that too, but there are always a handful of girls who wear the same red as the carpet.

 

Sarah Hyland

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Kate: The peplum in and of itself wasn’t bad enough, we had to EXTEND it? Come on. EW!

Erica: I’m not 100% against this. It’s unusual. And I love the embroidery.

Kate: I know people love capes and cape-esque things on the red carpet, but this just looks like two awkward tails, and the black pants underneath make it look very casual and, dare I say it, sloppy. They don’t look tailored right.

Erica: I feel like the hair was the real sin. It needs to be sleek and perfect for this look. It was not quite there.

Kate: Just because of the one piece hanging out?

Erica: Yeah. From the front, it was good. From the back? Sloppy.

 

Sofia Vergara

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Kate: YES, I can go back to not liking Sofia Vergara’s red carpet look. Her hair is WAY too slicked back, and this is what I’m talking about with the dark red/purple lipstick (too much), and the swirly silver shapes on an otherwise nice dress are completely unnecessary. Honestly, one of her worst.

Erica: I hate the hair a lot.

Kate: Despite all of that, just look at that BODY. So who really cares about the rest?

Erica: Well, most of the women we cover have pretty rocking bodies.

 

Sophie Turner

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Kate: For THE longest time I was like, ‘I don’t know this person, I’m not including her’. Then I was like, ‘Wait, that name sounds familiar. Should I know who that is?’ THEN I was like, ‘OMG, wait, that’s SANSA STARK! WHAT!?’

Erica: I hate everything here. Except her. I love her. But her hair and her makeup and her dress. Those things I hate.

Kate: Oh see the hair is the only thing I like, the dress sucks, I just could NOT recognize her for the life of me, and I can’t even put my finger on exactly what has changed about her?

Erica: Did you know she adopted her dire wolf?

Kate: IN REAL LIFE? BEST PERSON NOMINEE!

Erica: I can consign that.

 

Taraji P. Henson

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Kate: I guess I was wrong about that yellow being so 2-3 years ago because here it is on Taraji too. This is quite safe/boring for her, no?

Erica: Yes. But did you see her clutch has her initials?

Kate: No? I kind of like the casual, almost messy/wetness of the hair against the structure of the dress, but the overall look is not the best.

Erica: It’s good. It’s safe. It’s not memorable.

Kate: Hold the phone, she changed into something else when she presented, which I like a whole lot more for her. It’s more daring and interesting, I just don’t like the blunt hairstyle because it gives me traumatic flashbacks to my elementary school years. It also means her first hairstyle was or this one is a wig, and I don’t like that.

emmys 2016 taraji p henson presenter.jpg

 

Erica: So the presentation hair is definitely the wig. It is more daring but I don’t love it. And I don’t understand the logic of having two different outfits. Jimmy Kimmel did it, too. Why do you want to get dressed twice?

 

Tina Fey

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Kate: YAAAASSSSSS TINA! YAS YAS YAASSSSS!

Erica: Love the color. Just love.

Kate: That HAIR — so voluminous! That COLOR — so unexpectedly perfect! That SILHOUETTE — so flattering & Greek goddess-y! BEST DRESSED NOMINEE!

Erica: She looks really good. Really good.

Kate: The ONLY thing I would change is the earrings. Too matchy matchy. A small, subtle sparkle in a neutral tone would have been just right.

Erica: I didn’t notice them. But I saw this on stage, not the carpet.

Kate: Ugh I LOVE IT when she just NAILS the red carpet!

 

Tori Kelly

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Kate: Not ENTIRELY sure why she’s there, but I love a couple of her songs so I’m including her.

Erica: I have no idea who she is.

Kate: I love the hair and makeup, but the dress is boring and the accessories are trying too hard to overcompensate for that.

Erica: Hair very good. Makeup – I would have liked a stronger lip but maybe that’s just me. Dress fine. Boring but fine.

Kate: Hang on, we have another outfit change. Her performance dress is much more interesting, but then they zoomed in on her hair and it just did not move because of all the hairspray, so I take back what I said about her hair.

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Erica: But why change? Why show up in my one black ball gown and change into another?

 

Viola Davis

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Kate: Perfect perfect perfect perfect color. Perfect.

Erica: Yes. Love the color. Always a fan of bold color.

Kate: Love the embroidery on the neckline too, but the material gets a little too wrinkly in the skirt and I don’t love the makeup or hair.

Erica: I feel the makeup is a touch overdone. Like, I didn’t recognize her at first. But the dress is so nice.

Kate: Alas, Best Dressed?

Erica: I’m so excited that you like Kristen Bell’s dress. Can we give it to her?

Kate: Absotively posilutely! Worst?

Erica: I feel like Anna Chlumsky has the lock on that. Amy Poehler gave her a run, but Anna’s is ugly AND illogical. You know what I mean?

Kate: Yes, wholeheartedly agree. That’s a wrap!

Zoe and I discuss Government

A while back, Zoe was going over some terms with me. A mayor is in charge of a town, a governor is in charge of a state, etc.

“So it’s mayor, then governor, then president, then king or queen?” she said.

“Well, no,” I said. “King or queen and president are equivalent. They’re both in charge of a country.” We discussed monarchy vs democracy for a bit. Then I added, “Actually, a lot of countries with kings or queens also have democratic leaders. Like England has a queen, but it also has a Prime Minister.” (For purposes of a discussion with a seven-year-old, I didn’t bother making the distinction between England, Great Britain, the UK, etc. Sue me.)

“If they have a Prime Minister, then what do they need a queen for?”

I laughed. I said, “Many people in England wonder the same thing!”

But then I thought about it, because I like to give her more than one perspective on these things, so I said, “Many people feel they should not bother having a royal family any more. But some people really like it. And I guess they do two different things. Like, the Prime Minister, he (this convo was pre-Brexit) represents England when they’re talking to other countries, and he guides the laws that get made, and stuff like that. But the queen and the royal family members – like Prince William and Princess Kate – they do things that are more symbolic. Host national holiday stuff, go to funerals and weddings of foreign leaders or other important people. Their babies’ pictures are in magazines. And they are sort of representatives of British identity. It’s like they’re team mascots.”

And then I started thinking, you know, that’s not such a bad idea. To separate the role of “Person who Actually Makes Decisions about How to Rule a Country” and “Country’s Mascot.” We’ve combined them into one person, the president. For the last eight years, that sort of worked out. Obama wasn’t a bad mascot, with his charisma, and his bad-ass wife and two adorable kids, and he was a pretty good Grown-Up in Charge. But the eight years before that, we elected Guy You’d Have a Beer With over two Insufferably Boring Grown-Ups. That wasn’t great. And the eight years before that, we had a guy who was good at convincing everyone he was Guy You’d Have a Beer With while being secretly a mostly pretty good Grown-Up.

And right now we’ve got a Really Very Good Grown-Up who can’t convince anyone you’d enjoy having a beer with her, vs. Mascot EXTREME (for better or worse). Imagine if we just separated the roles. Imagine if we’d let someone who’s good at being a grown-up actually make decisions, and someone who’s very good at entertaining us (or terrifying us) just keep doing that in some fashion. That wouldn’t really be terrible, would it?

Oscars 2016

Kate: I thought the Oscars were so late this year, but February 28 really crept on me. Ah, life.

Erica: Almost all of the nominated movies are divided between “Things I’m definitely not going to see” and “Things I probably won’t see”.

Kate: Oh I saw so many!

Erica: I must, before we begin, give a shout-out to Chris Rock, who made me feel better about this exercise we do in criticizing women’s fashion by pointing out that no one asks men what they’re wearing because they’re all wearing the same thing, and if George Clooney showed up in a lime-green tux, they’d ask. Readers, if George Clooney showed up in a lime-green tux, Kate and I would write something about it. We promise.

Kate: Also, I’m thinking of throwing caution to the wind and doing this in order of who we see as opposed to alphabetically — too wild?

Erica: Oh, my God, Kate. I can’t even handle you right now.

 

Mindy Kaling

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Kate: This is a lovely departure from her usual award show wardrobe, no? The sleeves are extremely flattering, and I really like her hair pulled back into a neat bun away from her face.

Erica: I think she looks very pretty. I don’t like the dress much as an object of fashion, but she looks pretty.

Kate: Color is a wee bit boring, but overall quite nice. Can’t wait to read her new book, which is next on my list!

Erica: You’ll love it.

Kate: Wait, hold on, the back is nuts. I take back what I said.

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Erica: I’m not loving the dress. But I think she transcends it.

Kate: Wait, no, I like it again. Still excited to read her book.

 

Sofia Vergara

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Kate: Oh my god, she actually looks bad? Is that dress from the 80s? What’s happening here?!

Erica: It’s a big departure from her in terms of silhouette but I find her overall aesthetic pretty 80s.

Kate: The color is really horrible and blah on her, and all the stuff happening in the middle is so unnecessary. Her boobs look incredible, as usual, but she put that fabulous hair back, which is a big mistake, and it is just overall not working. I guess she should stick to sparkly mermaid gowns with flowy hair?

Erica: They say it’s blue but it doesn’t look blue on the telecast. I’m not quite as disappointed as you are. Maybe because I am mesmerized by the boobs.

 

Alicia Vikander

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Kate: We haven’t been including her in the other posts, but I feel like we should because she’s nominated.

Erica: I have never even heard of her movie but I like the dress.

Kate: She has quite a lovely petite frame and has looked very elegant all season long, and I know I’ll be in the minority here, but I don’t love this. The color is a little too Easter-y, the sparkles a little too sparkly, the hair and makeup a little too casual. I can’t believe that half-up bun thing is trendy now; that’s how I might wear my hair when I know (or hope) absolutely no one will see me. I am also really not happy about the dress length or the bunching at the bottom, or the silver shoes. They’re, like, prom shoe dye-to-match silver.

Erica: I think it’s well balanced. The color is a little unusual. The sparkles are not overwhelming. The bottom of the dress is fun; on her frame, a full-length poof might have been overwhelming. And she is, again, very tiny and young looking. More makeup or more glam hair might have looked like a little girl who tried on Mommy’s stuff.

 

Olivia Wilde

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Kate: She TOTALLY took this from her Vinyl closet.

Erica: I haven’t watched that yet but I’m sure I should. She consistently impresses me in interviews.

Kate: Yes, you should. I like the dress but would prefer a thinner sleeve, and absolutely NO choker. I even like the bun/braid hairdo despite the frizziness on the top (it looked better on the pre-show than in this photo), but I am really weirded out by the red eye makeup thing she tends to do. It looks like bruising or blemishing, not at all elegant or chic.

Erica: I feel like this is more a look than just a dress, and as a look, I think it all works very well together. I like looks, and while this isn’t my favorite style, I think it’s all working together. I’m looking at her eyes — I even rewound to get a better look — and I don’t have a problem with them.

 

Saoirse Ronan

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Kate: Wow, what a difference from her very buttoned-up SAGs look (we also haven’t been covering her this season, but I feel like we should for the same reason as Alicia Vikander).

Erica: Fair. Yeah, the red carpet people were like, “She’s a polite Irish girl”, and I’m like, in that dress? I mean, it’s green. But I wouldn’t describe it as “polite”.

Kate: I may be saying this just because I’ve been re-watching Friends from the beginning, but she’s giving me a very Jennifer Aniston sexy tousled California girl look (from the neck up) paired with a Julianne Moore dress she cut the front and back off of. Which is to say, I really like it.

Erica: She’s too pale for the Jennifer Aniston look but I do love the dress. Very slinky and pretty. The people on my TV show are complaining about her earrings but IDK WTF their problem is.

Kate: I meant an Irish version of the Jennifer Aniston look, and I meant it in a very good way. May be a Best Dressed nominee already.

Erica: I might even agree with you there.

 

Olivia Munn

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Kate: Wow, friggin’ fabulous. Red looks incredible on her. (It looks more orange in the photo, but on the pre-show it was red, I swear.)

Erica: Okay so I’m into the dress for sure but there’s something up with her face, no?

Kate: Oh yeah I see what you mean, but I think it just looks thinner. Contouring, maybs? And I normally would not like the matchy lipstick, but it’s all just so perfect. The only thing I would change is adding a little more bling on the ears or on the other wrist.

Erica: Yeah, maybe. But the dress is very simple and attractive and exactly the right shade. It did look more red on television, but an orange-y red, which is very right for her.

 

Naomi Watts

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Kate: Jesus H. Christ does she ever look bad?

Erica: I thought you were over sequins.

Kate: I am, but she just has the perfect little frame, and even if the dress itself is just OK (which this one is), her fabulousness turns it up several notches. For once, I really like the necklace.

Erica: She’s not my favorite but she looks terrific.

 

Brie Larson

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Kate: Initial reaction is a no. First she did the topsy tail, now she’s doing the two front pieces pinned back behind her head — is she just, like, really into 90s hairstyles?

Erica: The 90s are back, baby! Where are my Docs? But also there’s something very complicated going on in the back of her head I can’t quite see.

Kate: The color of the dress is very lovely — she’s obviously a fan of blue — but the sheer extra material on top looks very cheap, the belt (which I’m hoping came with the dress and wasn’t a voluntary choice to add on) is WAY WAY WAY too much, and the bottom is too sea creature. The complicated thing going on in the back of her head is a braid or twist with jewels that match the horrible belt.

Erica: Zoe feels it reminds her of Evie’s coronation dress from the Disney Channel movie Descendants. So she’s a fan. I do love the color, and while I might not love the belt, the dress does require a belt. My thing is, I love ruffley skirts, but when they do the thing where it’s just ruffles attached vertically around the dress at intervals, like this one (I’m sure there’s a fashion term for this), I don’t like it at all.

Kate: It’s also making me nuts that the earrings don’t match the horrible jewel belt. This may honestly work fine with different hair and no belt, but I just can’t. Good makeup, not good everything else.

 

Rooney Mara

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Kate: Let me start with a compliment: I absolutely love the makeup. Expert smoky eye right there, and the exact correct way to do a dark red lip.

Erica: You are right that it is well done, but I also hate it.

Kate: Now for the non-compliments: Hate the hair, a) because it’s basically how she wore it to the Globes and the SAGs, b) because it’s dumb.

Erica: Dumb and annoying.

Kate: I don’t like the diamond belly cutout at all, or the flattened peplum thing(s). I might like it a whole lot if it were just a white long-sleeve lacy white column dress, even with the slit up the middle, but perhaps then it’d be too bridal.

Erica: Hate. All of it.

Kate: I love when you hate Rooney Mara dresses!

 

Margot Robbie

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Kate: She set the bar too high last year; anything else is just going to disappoint.

Erica: Well, this is a similar silhouette to last year. But not as well done.

Kate: Her hair is in that not-done style that I can’t stand, and the gold material looks too bulky on top. The rest of the dress is OK, but not stunning, and the obnoxiously long tassel on her black clutch is, well, obnoxious.

Erica: Her hair and makeup are really off. That said, she is a very sexy woman.

 

Isla Fisher

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Kate: Oh my god, I absolutely love this. It’s like a modern take on that white and green Scarlett O’Hara dress.

Erica: Ooh, yes, lovely. Although I will confess that I saw your words before I saw the dress and I was hoping it would evoke the dress made out of drapes. I love that dress.

Kate: How perfect does this look on her?! Especially with the red hair?! Not at all sure why she’s at the Oscars, but Best Dressed nominee!

Erica: I think she’s there as Sasha Baron Cohen’s wife? Who is there to…Present something? I’m not sure. I do love this dress. I love romantic, feminine things.

 

Heidi Klum

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Kate: I honestly think she wears these dresses now to F with us. “Ha ha, I’m gorgeous, look at how crazy I can still look anyway!”

Erica: Yes. That is precisely what happens in her head.

Kate: If she and Alicia Vikander stood next to each other, the Oscars red carpet would explode into a shower of Easter eggs.

Erica: The color, though, is the least offensive thing happening there. And what’s extra-infuriating is, as stupid as this dress is, she’s still gorgeous. She’s right; she does look good in ACTUALLY, LITERALLY ANYTHING.

 

Cate Blanchett

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Kate: Hang on, if Heidi Klum and Alicia Vikander AND Cate Blanchett stood next to each other, THEN the Oscars red carpet would explode into a shower of Easter eggs AND bunnies AND feathers. What is with the pastels, ladies?

Erica: Yeah but why not?

Kate: I think I would love this without the crazy puffy/feathery sleeves — the silhouette is BOMB on her body. Damn.

Erica: I like the sleeves. They’re a little nutty but I like a small dose of nutty if it’s also pretty. She’s on my Best Dressed list. Also, did you see Sylvester Stallone getting all star struck about her? “Cate Blanchett knows who I am! She saw my movie!” That was too cute.

Kate: Like I said in my predictions post, he’s the most adorable ever.

 

Jennifer Garner

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Kate: Ooooh very elegant. She’s got that depressed divorced look on her face Sandra Bullock always had after her marital issues, but the dress is super great.

Erica: I heard they were getting back together, no? She’s still so pretty.

Kate: Oh, I hope so! Yes, she is. This is actually one of my favorites of the night.

 

Julianne Moore

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Kate: Yes. Julianne Moore reads our posts and agreed that she needed to stop with the sparkly column dresses, and went out and got this. Excellent listening skills, Julianne!

Erica: We have pull in Hollywood, obviously.

Kate: I think this is great. It’s not going to be my favorite of the night, but I really like how different it is from what she’s been wearing, I love black, I love her hair and makeup, and I even like the contrast between the circular earrings and triangular top of the dress.

Erica: Yeah, she looks like a normal, lovely human being dressed for a red carpet, instead of like a whackadoo. This ensemble will not change fashion but she looks nice.

Kate: The only thing I don’t like is that the silhouette makes her look a little thicker around the waist, when in reality she’s a very tiny woman. (Confirmed that fact with Ian, who has met her.)

Erica: How?!

Kate: She wrote a children’s book and they took her out, duh.

Erica: Ian has the best job.

 

Rachel McAdams

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Kate: Ooooohhh I kind of love this.

Erica: It’s very nice.

Kate: It’s like she was kind of excited for the Globes and wore a nice Rachel McAdams dress, then she was kind of mad about the SAGs for some reason and didn’t care about doing her hair and makeup, and then she remembered that she’s effing gorgeous and nominated for an Oscar and BAM — sex pot dress.

Erica: She is effing gorgeous. The dress isn’t quite amazing, but it looks amazing on her.

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Kate: From the side she looks semi-naked, but I really like it anyway. The color is fab against her pale skin and hair (even though I prefer her as a redhead or brunette), and I dig all the accessories. That material unfortunately shows the tiniest little wrinkles, but other than that? Best Dressed Nominee!

 

Lady Gaga

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Kate: I find this to be overall lame. I don’t like the wide sculpted skirt over the pantsuit, I don’t like the white, and her hair/makeup look completely fake now, like she’s one of those women whose paid zillions of dollars to look like an actual Barbie.

Erica: I totes hate the pantsuit thing. Hate. It is filling me with confusion and disgust. And then she’s all, “It’s really important to me to speak out for victims of sexual violence”, and I’m like, I’m a terrible person for hating her outfit.

Kate: Well, hopefully her performance ensemble will be less lame.

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Kate: Nope. Guess we’re both terrible people for hating both outfits.

 

Tina Fey

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Kate: Ugh, she kills me. She hits it out of the park one night and strikes out the next — great color and dress overall, horrible necklace, even more horrible hair. It’s just too severe for her face; her hair looks incredibly beautiful and voluminous when worn down.

Erica: I don’t love the hair, and while I have less of an issue with the statement necklace than you do, that one is not great. But she looks very nice otherwise.

Kate: It’s like she still hasn’t figured out what works best for her, even though she’s been doing this for a long time.

Erica: I think this might be her least favorite thing about being a celebrity.

 

Reese Witherspoon

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Kate: Reese is wearing the same shade of purple as Tina. I repeat, Reese Witherspoon is wearing the exact same shade of purple as Tina Fey. I don’t know why I think that’s a big deal, but I do. Do they care about stuff like that? Are they friends? Will this hurt their friendship?

Erica: I am now, like, wishing for a friendship between them. I think that could be interesting. What’s it called when you write, like, fan fiction, but it’s about real people rather than characters? That is a thing, and I think I’m going to write a story about how Reese and Tina became friends.

Kate: Perfectly Reese hair and makeup and jewelry — which means fabulous and sweet but a little safe — but the dress itself kind of sucks. The material looks really stiff, and it’s just not flattering on her. Sorry, Reese 😦

Erica: There’s too much structure in the top. It’s weird looking.

 

Kerry Washington

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Kate: Way too S&M. Way.

Erica: Hate so much. It’s both too S&M AND black-and-white evening wear. (I’m not criticizing the practice of S&M, btw. Just the aesthetic.) But the makeup is great.

Kate: But the hair is not great. Have I EVER liked her red carpet looks? Why does everyone else obsess over her so much?

Erica: Well, I find her to be a very beautiful woman and a very charming, intelligent one in interviews and such. I didn’t really have an opinion about her until I saw her on Bill Maher’s show and she was so incredibly poised and perfect. I wanted to cast her as, like, a 60s political wife, who’s so good at the whole cocktail party thing, but you also know she’s got serious brain power and is basically behind all of her husband’s successes. Tonight, she was great talking to Robin Roberts about the whole #OscarsSoWhite thing. Also she looked adorable gazing at Henry Cavill, clearly trying hard not to giggle and flip her hair. I just do not connect with her style.

 

Charlize Theron

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Kate: Yes.

Erica: She’s a good looking woman.

Kate: It honestly looks a little off-the-rack, like it’s from that store Cache (and maybe it is for all I know), and I wouldn’t like that necklace on anyone else, and I’ve seen her hair look better, and it’s kind of the same thing she always wears, but it’s Charlize Theron, so it’s all just yes. And I give up.

Erica: Yeah, I mean, there’s nothing wrong with anything about the look, but it really is down to the woman wearing it. You have to be actively trying to look stupid if you look like Charlize Theron. You know, you have to try as hard as Heidi Klum. (PS. Mad Max: Fury Road is one of the movies I saw. The Martian is the other one.)

 

Emily Blunt

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Kate: Oh gosh no, no no no! Emily! No!

Erica: That bad?

Kate: This looks like a maternity nightgown! (I know she’s actually pregnant, but still.) Oh I’m so disappointed.

Erica: Yeah? I mean, I don’t love it, but I don’t think it’s that bad.

Kate: Hate to do it, but Worst Dressed nominee.

 

Kate Winslet

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Kate: So I don’t love the dress in and of itself — I don’t know what that shiny material is, I don’t know if it’s black or brown or both, I don’t think it’s super flattering — but I love that it’s different from her usual look, and I super love that her hair is down and loose and wavy, and I super duper love that SHE ARRIVED. WITH. LEO. My heart is just BURSTING!

Erica: As much as I dislike Titanic, I do love their sustained friendship and support. It must have been quite a bonding experience to be young and so clearly better than your material.

Kate: I know it doesn’t mean that they’re together, because I think she’s married (with kids, even?) and he has serious commitment issues, but I know that they have a lot of love for each other and it’s just perfect that they’re both nominated and arrived together and I just can’t stand it. I also love her accessories and makeup.

Erica: Yes, she’s married and has kids, although I think her kids are not her current husband’s. And I don’t need them to be a couple. I like genuine platonic friendships between men and women. I don’t love this dress. It is aggressively shiny. But it is different for her. And her makeup looks great. I feel like the makeup artists of L.A. really brought it tonight.

 

Amy Poehler

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Kate: Wow, super different for her! Very kimono-esque.

Erica: Still loving the red hair.

Kate: I don’t think I like the kimono much, but I like seeing the variety.

Erica: Yeah, I mean, I always like something different. And I like the material of this dress, the embroidery and the colors. I think just a different neckline would have really sold the whole thing.

 

Priyanka Chopra

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Erica: I don’t know who she is or why she’s there, but she is very, very pretty and she looks stunning.

Kate: The only additional thing I know about her is that she is on a new TV show about the FBI. I like the dress a lot, especially that it’s white but not bridal, but I very much prefer her hair down. It’s quite fabulous.

Erica: I believe you.

 

Sarah Silverman

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Kate: This is a LOT better than the SAGs monstrosity, but she still isn’t getting it. Her hair is just a little too pulled back, the top of the dress is just a little too tight, the weird upside down triangle thing around the hips is just pointless. A few little fixes and this would have been a stunner.

Erica: Yeah, the top is really doing weird things to her actually pretty decent body. Do you think she resents Amy Schumer?

Kate: No, I think they’re friends.

 

Jennifer Lawrence

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Kate: J. Law with the very late arrival, and no red carpet?!

Erica: Maybe she’s sick of the whole thing. I would be if I were her. Oh, no, wait, I’d be busy rolling in my dollar bills and positive reviews and job offers.

Kate: I am absolutely in love with that new hairdo and subtle yet sexy makeup. I like the top of the dress a lot and I like the overall message of it, but it’s not my favorite ever.

Erica: I don’t love the hair. I do love the makeup. I do NOT like the dress. It is a stupider version of Rachel McAdams’s SAGs dress.

Kate: Oh no I think it’s quite different, and different from what she usually wears. Everyone really changed it up tonight, eh?

Erica: So, I think we will have trouble agreeing on Best Dressed, because I feel Cate Blanchett’s dress is everything I ever want on a red carpet, and you are somewhat less enthused.

Kate: No, she cannot win Best Dressed. How about Isla Fisher? She won’t win on anyone else’s list, but we both liked it a lot. Or Olivia Munn?

Erica: Ooh, let’s give it to Isla Fisher. We did both like it and it’s dreamy. Can we give Worst Dressed to Rooney Mara? I hates it soooo much.

Kate: Haha, ok!

Erica: Well, listen, folks, that’s it. That’s the awards season. And I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, but I don’t know if we can cover So You Think You Can Dance this year. Because we can’t criticize eight-year-olds. And Nigel can’t possibly drool over any of the contestants (right? RIGHT?!) so we won’t have much material there. So you might not see us again until the 2016 Emmys in the fall.

Kate: And, you know what I noticed last night? We all obsess over these starlets and their dresses, especially the ones who aren’t nominated and maybe don’t even belong at the Oscars ever, and then some of the people who win the non-acting awards and who consequently get quite a bit of screen time are really quite terribly dressed. Case in point:

Erica: The costume designer for Mad Max: Fury Road?

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Kate: You got it, dude.

Erica: Yes. I don’t really want to get on the cases of the non-actors, because looking glamorous isn’t really part of their job. But woman? You design costumes. You couldn’t design yourself something that a character who is attending a formal event would wear?

Grammys 2016

Kate: Honestly, this is my least favorite award show to cover because it makes me feel SO old and uncool when I don’t know who the F anyone is.

Erica: And if YOU feel old and uncool, try to imagine how I, who have never been cool about music, even when I was a teenager, feel.

Kate: Whatevs, we can judge everyone’s fashion choices even if we don’t know them. I do it on the street all the time. And at least Adele is back this year!

Erica: Yes, why should we let ignorance stop us?!

Adele

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Kate: Ok so I was hoping for something a little different/more daring since she lost all the weight, but this is pretty much what she’s always done with slightly less dramatic hair and makeup.

Erica: She lost weight? That dress does not really show it. And I don’t love the hair.

Kate: It’s ok, it’s ok, she’s too much of an angel sent to us from heaven for me to care too much about what she’s wearing. Ugh, I love her so much.

Erica: You know, I haven’t listened to her new album. I don’t know what “Hello” sounds like. That’s how out of it I am.

Kate: Please tell me you’ve watched that amazing video of her singing in the car with James Corden?

Erica: You know, I knew that it existed, I just hadn’t watched it.

Kate: Ok, stop looking at Grammys dresses and go watch that RIGHT NOW. Then come back.

Erica: So understand that this is not just my first viewing of that video but my first hearing of “Hello.” So…Does Adele just have a direct line to my tear ducts? WTF? Also, how is she so cool? How does she have that voice and those songs and a seemingly awesome, totally chill personality and she’s pretty, too (or at least very good at eye makeup)? What am I even doing with my life? I’m feeling a little inadequate right now. (Also, you know, I could make fun of the Spice Girls thing. I sure as hell would have counted it as a mark against her when I was a teenager. But then I had a little girl and started doing Just Dance and, you know what, I quite happily dance to the Spice Girls on that, so who am I to talk?)

Kate: How? Because she’s an angel, like I said. I actually like her performance look a lot better:

Grammys Adele 2.jpg

Erica: To me, the performance dress is sort of more of the same. But you’re right. Who cares? She sings like Adele. And writes songs like Adele. And applies makeup like Adele. And seems like a totally cool person like Adele.

 

Anna Kendrick

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Kate: Less than thrilled by this — isn’t she usually a little more daring and sexy?

Erica: I don’t usually love her red carpet looks, I don’t think. This is, you know, a little underwhelming. A little dated? I don’t know, I think she can do better.

 

Ariana Grande

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Kate: Overall adorable, but when is she not?

Erica: I thought she had dropped the high ponytail as part of her look, but here it is. It’s good; I like it. You should keep what works.

Kate: I think she changed it from half-up high pony to full-up high pony.

 

Bella Hadid

Grammys Bella.jpg

Kate: Housewives alert! Housewives alert!

Erica: Poor Bella. Imagine looking like her and still not being the “pretty” sister.

Kate: This is a little like Morticia Addams threw sparkles all over herself, especially with the slicked back hair behind the ears, but it kind of works on her. She is really quite gorgeous.

Erica: I like it. It’s very Grammys. I mean, normally, I don’t like all black and slicked back hair, but it’s very appropriate for the occasion. I’d ask what she’s doing there, but where else should models congregate than at the same places as rock stars?

Kate: She’s there because she’s dating The Weeknd!

Erica: Naturally.

 

Carrie Underwood

Grammys Carrie.jpg

Kate: Oooooohhh I love it.

Erica: Very glam.

Kate: I think it perfectly compliments her body and you know I love me a nice, elegant black gown. I maybe would have gone with a different necklace or no necklace, a slightly lower slit and lighter makeup, but overall fab. Best Dressed nominee!

Erica: I like the necklace. I don’t like the hair. It’s the same as Adele’s hair, but with a side part.

 

Ciara

 

Kate: This is where I draw the line with the slit. Come on.

Erica: Okay, no, I don’t like the dress. It doesn’t make any sense as a garment at all and it’s not attractive or pretty or interesting in anyway.

Kate: It’s like someone suddenly stopped sewing a potentially great dress, and then Ciara threw on a sheer black scarf to cover her left boob, and tied it all together. Terrible.

Erica: BUT. Look at that body on her. That is crazy town. That is the genetic lottery plus an absolute commitment to excellence. I must applaud it. If I were her, I would just put on a tiny little slip and a big diamond necklace and call it a day.

Kate: Yes. And her hair and makeup are, of course, on fleek.

 

Demi Lovato

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Kate: I. Am. So. Over. Tuxes. On. Women. SO OVER IT!

Erica: I will never be over the tux on women, if it’s done right. This is not done right. It’s not done right because the jacket is not evocative enough, and it’s not done right because tuxes don’t have skirts.

Kate: The skirt makes it a thousand times worse. Are there no other ways to be “alternative” and “buck trends” on the red carpet, Demi? ARE THERE NO OTHER WAYS? Worst Dressed nominee!

Erica: Oh, I wouldn’t go that far. (Although I haven’t looked at everything yet.) I am enjoying her necklace and understated makeup.

 

Ellie Goulding

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Kate: Oh my god, I love it so much.

Erica: From the front, I like it fine. It’s very nice on her. From the back, it’s even better.

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Kate: What a lovely shade of pink, perfect material and silhouette on her, elegant in the front and sassy in the back. Perfect hair and makeup. Best Dressed nominee! (Only thing I’d change is the necklace.) And I can’t get enough of that song — WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOOOORRRR?

Erica: I’m very annoyed that the Fifty Shades movie got good things, like this song, or really very nice OPI nail colors.

 

Florence Welch

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Kate: Even with the sequined dragonfly and star and moon patches, this is actually fairly normal for her, no?

Erica: For her, yeah. Does she have young daughters? Because this definitely looks like something a 4-year-old, particularly girly, little girl might design. Which is not exactly a criticism.

Kate: What about a 7-year-old little girl, like Zoe? I feel like she’d like this, except for the pink.

Erica: Honestly? This is a little immature for Zoe.

Kate: The pink looks better on Ellie Goulding than on Florence, but I don’t think she gives one F about it.

Erica: I think that’s an accurate assessment.

 

Kacey Musgraves

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Kate: So she’s the one who had that INSANE hair at the CMA Awards that one time. This is much tamer.

Erica: I don’t love it. But I like how it’s just the right amount of nuts.

Kate: I actually really like it — it’s got elements of elegance (I like the sound of that, “elements of elegance”) mixed with funk, which is exactly what one should wear to the Grammys. The lipstick may be a little too matchy-matchy with the dress, and I maybe wish the whole dress were all purple instead of purple, blue, and green, but I lurve the eye makeup AND even the high pony.

Erica: I like that she lets the dress be nuts and then she has simple hair and relatively simple (but matchy) makeup. She’s got a point of view when it comes to clothes (or her stylist does) and I appreciate that.

 

Kaley Cuoco

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Kate: She continues to confuse me, but for some reason I like this sparkly jumpsuit, even with the cutout. It sort of looks like she repurposed something Kate Hudson has worn.

Erica: It is, you’re right, very Kate Hudson. But I still don’t like it.

Kate: I don’t like the tousled hair with it; it would look better with a slicked-back bun. I also think the length of the pants is extremely tacky, and the overall thing is probably too casual for the Grammys, but her level casualness or fanciness honestly doesn’t matter. Meow!

Erica: I hate the hair a lot. You can’t just ignore your dye jobs and then call it ombre! (I say this with extraordinary umbridge for someone whose grays are reaching past her ears right now.)

Lady Gaga

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Kate: Remember when I was bored by her black dress at the Golden Globes and wanted her to start doing this again? Be careful what you wish for.

Erica: I mean, it’s not a dress made of meat or anything.

Kate: I think this is related to her David Bowie homage, and it is true Gaga, but that doesn’t mean it looks GOOD.

Erica: Oh, wait, if it’s about David Bowie, I forgive all. Sniff.

 

Meghan Trainor

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Kate: She has red hair? Wasn’t it blonde?

Erica: It was, but I like it red.

Kate: Ok, yes, she confirmed during her pre-show interview with Ryan Seacrest that she used to be blonde. I’m actually really into her lately.

Erica: Yeah? I feel so torn. On the one hand, her songs are so catchy and fun. On the other hand, they have really not so great messaging. I do find it hilarious — her “All About That Bass” is on the latest iteration of Just Dance, but the lyrics have been all messed around. Instead of “Boys like a little more booty to hold at night,” it’s something like, “Boys like you for the beauty they find inside.” I’m like, come on now. That’s not what the song is.

Kate: Anyway, this is kind of what I wanted Adele to wear, but it looks really nice on Meghan here. It’s not the most daring thing to wear to your first (or second?) Grammys, but how daring are you going to get when your dad is your date?

Erica: Aw, that’s cute that her dad is her date. She does dress like alternative-universe-Adele a lot, though.

 

Selena Gomez

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Kate: Still over the sequins AND the cutouts, but I get that they’re both appropriate for the Grammys.

Erica: Yeah, to me, this is a very basic Grammys dress. Not bad, not remarkable.

Kate: I just feel like she’s done this before and I want to see her do other things. She also looks extremely displeased to be there, which honestly always everything worse.

Erica: Maybe that’s just her face.

Kate: Hang on, she changed into something different to present — I like this MUCH better! Why didn’t she just wear this the whole time?

Grammys Selena 2.jpg

Erica: That is prettier. Not particularly more interesting, but prettier.

 

Taylor Swift

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Kate: Oh god.

Erica: So, we have recently become Swiftys in this house, which has been weird for me. But this? I am not in love.

Kate: Can we start with the INSANE amount of bronzer or spray tan or other fake tan or all of the above on her arms/shoulders/chest? Does that not rub off on people when she hugs them? Ew!

Erica: Heehee. Now that’s going to be part of my imagination all day — that her “squad” is covered in rubbed-off tanner and can’t say anything because Taylor will throw a hissy fit but behind her back they’re all, “Weren’t you supposed to help her with this? Is she about to hug Paul McCartney? Should we stop her?”

Kate: And I get that she has a sick body that can pull off something like that, but that doesn’t mean she should. It’s a pair of shiny hot pink bloomers with a huge shiny hot pink skirt around it and a red bandeau top! Why not just do the red bandeau top as a whole slinky column dress? She looks great in red.

Erica: Those are not bloomers. But I agree, this is not a great look.

Kate: Fine, it’s a bathing suit bottom. I don’t even hate the choker, and I usually do, or the fresh-cut bob with bangs, save for the grey blonde color. (I hate that trend.) The one positive thing I have to say: Excellent face makeup. But really can’t get over that bronzer.

Erica: I mean, look, she’s been perfect on the red carpet for ten years. She was bound to have a misstep.

Kate: Ian thinks she looks “ridiculous”, and he means that in a good way. So there you have it.

 

Tori Kelly

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Kate: Hey I actually know who this person is, and I like one of her songs! Wait, two!

Erica: I don’t at all know who this person is.

Kate: Well, watch those videos. I think this is nice if not a little boring? It’s more of a Golden Globes dress than a Grammys dress — maybe one borrowed from Kate Winslet? — but she’s a pop singer and doesn’t get invited to the Golden Globes. The color is great on her, and her hair looks very luscious and sassy.

Erica: I like the hairstyle but I don’t love the blonde color on her. The dress is fine but unremarkable.

 

Zendaya

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Kate: Is that hair a joke or a prank? Something in retaliation of Giuliana Rancic’s comments about her hair last year, which was the catalyst that unraveled Fashion Police for the umpteenth time?

Erica: Well, she’s usually wearing something weird.

Kate: Whatever it is, I hate it. And the tux.

Erica: Actually, I think this is a better tux than Demi Lovato’s. Too bad the hair is so dreadful.

Kate: So before we get to Best and Worst dressed, I have to say that a lot of these outfits look a LOT better on TV and in motion than in still photos. It must be really hard for these ladies to figure out how to look best in both, but I can’t feel too sorry for them.

Erica: Yeah, I’ll cry on the inside. So Best Dressed? I’m leaning Ellie Goulding.

Kate: Yes! And I’m listening to her RIGHT NOW!

Erica: Worst Dressed, I hate to do it, but looking over our choices, I’m going to have to say Ciara. Because that is, actually, the worst dress. Even if her body is slammin’.

Kate: Totally ok with that. Now we have less than two weeks to prepare for the Mother of All Award Shows! Until then, loyal readers!

SAGs 2016

Kate: Gosh I love award show season.

Erica: So here’s what happened for me. I actually remembered to record the SAGs AND I recorded the red carpet coverage on E!, which is a totally different channel than the one airing the actual awards, but I still found the red carpet coverage and recorded it. I was very proud of myself. I knew I wasn’t going to watch it because we were going out to dinner and then I had to work the next morning, so I figured I’d get to this Sunday afternoon. Then I couldn’t sleep. I woke up at around 2:00 a.m. and couldn’t go back to sleep, so at 3:00 a.m. I said, “F*ck it, what else should I do?” Then I realized that a) covering SAG fashion was a perfect 3 am.. activity, and b) if I wasn’t sleeping now I was going to need to in the afternoon anyway. So I got my iPad, on which I can stream Tivo, and I sat down at my computer, and I discovered I can only stream Tivo from the downstairs TV. Not the bedroom. So I’m sitting here looking at the arrivals photos on Getty Images as usual instead of viewing the telecast WHICH I EVEN RECORDED AND EVERYTHING. This is the story of my life.

Kate: That sounds extremely complicated. I always forget that the SAGs cover TV, too.

Erica: Anyway, here’s who I’m seeing.

Amy Poehler

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Kate: Dark-haired Amy! Dark-haired Amy!

Erica: Ooh, I do like the hair color.

Kate: My love for her/Parks and Rec exceeds my ability to judge of her fashion choices. Black is always a safe bet, I don’t like those pointy strapless things on anyone, but overall quite elegant.

Erica: The dress is fine. It’s not going to, like, change the face of fashion, but she looks fine.

 

Anna Chlumsky

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Kate: YEESH that hair!

Erica: It’s hard to see in full-body pics, but she did this weird sculpty thing with the baby hairs around her forehead. I don’t understand fully what that’s about. I know it’s a thing in “chola” fashion, but a) that’s not how the chola girls do it, and b) nothing else about the look would indicate that that’s what she was going for. (Also I think I might be too white to use the word chola.)

Kate: It’s just awful! The dress is ok — black satin is a harsh look on her, and the hem is a mess — but it’s hard to look at anything but that hair. Scary.

 

Anna Faris

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Kate: This is kind of fabulous in a Space Age kind of way, no?

Erica: I would like to note that the slit is going to be very big this evening.

Kate: Isn’t it always?

Erica: I think I like it. I didn’t at first but it’s growing on me. I like the structured look of the top. The material looks really elegant. I think she accessorized subtly and well. It doesn’t feel as bubbly as she usually is, but I’m going to come out in favor of this one.

Kate: Me too, even though it combines two elements I hate: mock turtleneck, short sleeves.

 

Ariel Winter

2016 SAGs Ariel Winter.jpg

Kate: Taking some style tips from castmate Sofia Vergara with that mermaid bottom, are we Ariel?

Erica: I don’t know that Sofia Vergara can actually claim ownership of the mermaid dress.

Kate: She looks fab — mostly because she has a fab body — but her hair is a little TOO black (and too Kardashian, to be honest). Great makeup.

Erica: She really did become all kinds of curvy. But yes, hair is too harsh. It is possible the Kardashians are more her style role models that Sofia.

Kate: It’s a sad, sad world.

 

Brie Larson

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Erica: She’s in Room, right?

Kate: Yes.

Erica: Not seeing that. No way, no how. My book club is considering reading an Oscar-nominated novel, but when we were reading the list, I gave a hard pass to Room. Well, I think what happened is I just started shaking my head spasmodically.

Kate: I thought you did read the book and are just refusing to see the movie?

Erica: I did read the book. I don’t want to so much as skim over it again, and I really don’t want to sit at a table with a bunch of other women in a public place and TALK about it. That would be awful.

Kate: I now feel like I should see the movie, as part of my quest.

Erica: Anyway, this dress, I think I almost really like it. I really like the color. The drape is really great on her. I like the weird things happening around the neck. It’s just that the ties are kind of stupid-looking and the slit is a little too aggressive for the rest of the dress. There should be more drapeyness involved there. It lacks subtlety.

Kate: It’s really hard to wear any type of light blue on the red carpet, but that insanely perfect tan she has makes it work. The color, that is. The dress, though — WHAT are the stupid knots all over and WHAT is that orange seat belt-looking thing in the back?! Did the designer run out of blue material?

2016 SAGs Brie Larson back.jpg

Erica: Ooh, wait, I didn’t see that. That is awful. That is so disappointing. Now I don’t like this dress at all anymore.

Kate: I am also having a problem with her hair, which is actually a glorified Topsy Tail. Remember Topsy Tails?

Erica: Not until you just said it right now but OMG yes. It does look like that.

Kate: She looks very pretty because she is very pretty, I am just not feeling all the different elements of the dress (and hair). I do, however, really like the red-orange lip.

 

Christina Hendricks

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Erica: You’ve seen the Veronica Mars movie, right?

Kate: No not yet because you betrayed me and watched it without me!

Erica: Sorry. Go watch it right now so you can understand this quote. She should wear this, and only this, forever.

Kate: She has such a perfect freaking face and perfect freaking hair. Very Adele-like makeup around the eyes.

Erica: Yes. And hair that Adele would like to achieve, but has to go to sculpted to actually get there.

Kate: I want to like the dress, but I don’t. It’s not the light color against her light skin, and it’s not the pattern; it’s the material, which looks ill-fitting on her, AND it’s that damn one-shoulder bow — didn’t we get rid of that after Charlize Theron’s Oscar dress disaster? — AND it’s the bustle in the back, which is too Cinderella-evil-stepsisters.

Erica: No I don’t care, it’s so Hollywood 1950s glam and I love it. She can wear it because she has a Hollywood 1950s glam body. Charlize has a 2000s body.

 

Christina Ricci

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Kate: My twin!

Erica: She looks less like your twin with the blond hair.

Kate: I don’t love her with blond hair, especially paired with such harshly dark makeup. I swear to god we’ve seen this dress before. On Cate Blanchett, maybe? Claire Danes?

Erica: I’m thinking Jessica Alba.

Kate: It looks great on her, we’ve just seen it before, of that I am sure. It would probably only work on a really petite frame like hers. The whole look does not offend me in terms of people telling me I look like her.

Erica: Eh, I don’t love it. It looks to me like someone couldn’t decide if they were designing athletic wear, a nightgown, or a fancy dress. And I don’t like the blond hair.

 

Claire Danes

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Kate: I love when Angela wears her hair like that. Her skin/makeup looks very fresh and sun-kissed and natural.

Erica: I can’t believe how good she looks. She is still super-skinny, but this dress does not make her look skeletal, and she’s actually smiling!

Kate: I don’t love the two-tonedness of the dress, but yes the silhouette looks amazing on her lanky frame and honestly probably wouldn’t work on anyone else.

 

Ellie Kemper

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Kate: Kimmy! When are we getting a season 2?!

Erica: Ooh, I don’t think we’ve talked about it since I watched it, too! I thought it was great! And it can’t be that expensive to produce; I’m sure we’ll get a new season soon.

Kate: I absolutely love her hair and makeup — I’m digging these short bobs, ladies — and I love the TOP of the dress. If only the top continued through the bottom, instead of that picture from a ninth grade biology textbook. That’s what that is on the bottom, right?

Erica: How would I know? I couldn’t really remember what was in my ninth grade biology textbook when I was in ninth grade.

Kate: On second thought, I may not like it if the top continued through the bottom because I don’t know if I like her in all black. Now I’m just confused.

Erica: It’s a confusing dress. She’s a fabulous person, though!

Kate: Totes

 

Emilia Clarke

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Kate: Luuuuuurrrrvveeee her hair and makeup, and the color of the dress, and the top/neckline of the dress. If only the bottom were more sleek and columny rather than poofy, then it’d be perfect/Best Dressed Nominee.

Erica: This is very, very different from her. I like it a lot but I kind of couldn’t tell who she was until I looked at the captions on the photos.

Kate: It does look like something unnatural has happened to her face.

 

Eva Longoria

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Erica: So tell us everything about how utterly charming and delightful she is in person.

Kate: I actually didn’t see her at WWHL, I saw Khloe Kardashian.

Erica: Oh! I thought you were seeing her. That’s disappointing. I do not love this dress, I must say. I don’t love the color, and I feel like its va-va-voom qualities are not played off with panache. By the dress, I mean, not by Eva herself, who is 100% panache 100% of the time.

Kate: Yea, I don’t love the long sleeves, or all the other nonsense going on all over the dress — sequins, see-through, sequins, see-through. You are correct in that the hunter green color is gross.  

Erica: Also, her hair is a little too slicked and with the color of the dress, it’s sort of sea-creature-risen-from-the-deep.

Kate: As Mom would say, she looks like a drowning victim. I HATE slicked back hair on the sides/behind the ears.

 

Helen Mirren

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Erica: Let’s just give her all the prizes forever.

Kate: Literally, yes.

 

January Jones

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Erica: I just don’t even with her. How do you, January Jones, very tiny human being, find a dress that makes you look thick? And, you know, I’m not necessarily against dresses that look sort of like you wrapped a sheet around yourself, but…This really looks like you wrapped a sheet around yourself. The sleeves, in particular, look like the designer just went, “Ah, f*ck it.” And also, if you’re going to wrap a sheet around yourself, maybe don’t do platforms?

Kate: Oh my god, I didn’t even know this was her. I saw this dress start coming down the red carpet and had no idea who it was, so I ignored it. Yikes!

Erica: I do like the bracelets. And I really like the smiling like she’s happy to be there. Although maybe the smile is about, “This is finally, FINALLY, my very last appearance as concerns Betty Draper! FREEDOM!!!”

Kate: But she looks thicker in the face, too, so maybe she just IS thicker? Not that there’s anything wrong with that?

Erica: Okay, then that dress is not flattering to her new curves. There’s nothing wrong with getting thicker/being thick if you dress for it.

 

Julia Louis-Dreyfus

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Kate: I really like that she went with a pattern because she usually does solid white or solid black, and her hair is effing perfect, but the bottom of the dress is awful. Very awkward length. I also don’t like the necklace, but I never like short necklaces with strapless gowns.

Erica: This is a very different look for her. More girlish. I like it. I think she’s pulling it off well.

Kate: No, you’re wrong, it’s bad. If the dress were T-length and the skirt started poofing out from the waist, and the pattern also started fading out there, it’d be adorable, but probably not appropriate for the SAGs.

Erica: But most importantly, did you see the purse?

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Kate: I saw her post that on Instagram and thought it was some kind of centerpiece on the table. Alas, it’s her purse.

 

Julianna Marguiles

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Erica: I don’t think much one way or the other about the dress. I just always see her and go, “Oh, yeah, I should binge-watch “The Good Wife” sometime!”

Kate: She has the slicked-back-behind-the-ears hair too! WTF, ladies?

Erica: She’s awfully narrow, isn’t she?

Kate: Always. I like the dress, but think it’d be better as a strapless. With her hair all the way up, and a little loose.

 

Julianne Moore

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Erica: You know, she’s a talented and amazing enough person to do the “F*ck it” thing like Meryl Streep. Instead she chooses to wear hideous things like this. There is a sharp distinction between “F*ck it” and “No, I actually think this looks super glamorous and good.” It does not, Julianne. It does not.

Kate: Does her stylist not allow her to wear anything BUT sequins? Also, what color is this, yellow? Green? Both? Please advise.

Erica: This color is Big Bag of Nope.

 

Kaley Cuoco

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Erica: This is a person who never looks the same twice. Like, I find her utterly unrecognizable every single time I see her on the red carpet.

Kate: Is she, like, known in Hollywood to be completely nuts? I just watched her on Lip Sync Battle and she just looked like she doesn’t have all her marbles, also evidenced by this slicked-back/up top knot and ridiculous cutout dress. Finally, we can agree on not liking cutouts!

Erica: I think maybe she is. She frequently looks nuts on the red carpet.

Kate: Hold on, it’s not a cut out, because where it looks like there’s a cutout, it’s actually just mesh in the exact color of her skin. Ew!

Erica: Ew! I hate mesh WAY more than I hate cutouts!

 

Kate Winslet

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Kate: Wowwwwwwww.

Erica: See, for me, very nice, but not wow.

Kate: Again, a very Kate Winslet choice, but that is not a negative thing at all. Perfectly tailored to her body, great color on her, elegant hair, slightly flashier jewelry than usual which is a good thing — all around effing fabulous.

Erica: Right, I guess that for me, Kate Winslet always looks lovely and perfect but never interesting, so it’s never wow for me. She is a wow human being, but her looks are always exactly perfect and therefore kinda boring.

 

Kiernan Shipka

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Kate: Oh this freaks me out.

Erica: Man, she looks so NORMAL. I sort of like it when she’s in something sort of whackadoo.

Kate: No, it’s not that she looks normal, it’s that she just still looks like a child, just taller. Freaky.

Erica: You are so silly, Kate.

Kate: I appreciate that her hair and makeup are simple for such a young creature, but their simplicity doesn’t match the dress. Speaking of the dress, I’d like it much better as T length. Then it’d be quite Audrey.

Erica: You know, it really would.

 

Kristen Wiig

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Kate: When I only saw the top of this I thought, ‘I feel like this is a very non-Kristen Wiig choice, right?’ Then I saw the bottom.

Erica: I think this is the kind of thing I was expecting Kiernan Shipka to wear.

Kate: I actually really like the pony — what else would you do with that asymmetrical neckline? — but we all know how I feel about ladies wearing pants on the red carpet. I just feel like she should be going clubbing in that, not to the SAG Awards.

Erica: And we know how I feel about half-black, half-white evening attire.

Kate: So true.

 

Laverne Cox

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Erica: First of all, see what I mean about the Night of the Slit?

Kate: Yea, but every red carpet is a Night of the Slit.

Erica: Second of all, I think she’s really getting this red carpet thing down.

Kate: Oh, I am less thrilled by this than her last, like, 5 red carpet looks, but it’s still nice.

Erica: I’m just saying, the first few, she was a little second-rate-pageant. Now she’s in her groove.

Kate: I love the color but it’s probably better on lighter skin tones, and I don’t like that her lip color exactly matches the dress. And the top of the dress isn’t all that flattering on her. Hair looks lovely, though.

 

Maisie Williams

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Kate: So cute!

Erica: I love how she gets so girly when she’s not Arya.

Kate: Really love the color and the cut and the hairdo on such a young fresh face, probably wouldn’t like any of it at all on anyone else.

Erica: Color, great. Dress, very interestingly shaped and cute. Am in favor of it all.

 

Marisa Tomei

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Kate: Flawless.

Erica: Yeah? Not a little, uh, bathrobe-y?

Kate: Sparkly fabulous bathrobe. I also feel like we have maybe seen this before, and I’m still over the sequins as I said in our Golden Globes post, but it just looks great on her.

Erica: I don’t know. I wasn’t going to include this one because I don’t like saying bad things about Marisa Tomei.

 

Nicole Kidman

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Erica: I know you hate this.

Kate: So you’re Nicole Kidman and you look essentially flawless in absolutely everything, and you have the world’s most perfect hair next to Connie Britton, but you look like you’re having dinner on a cruise ship. A very expensive cruise ship, but a cruise ship nonetheless.

Erica: I’m not fully disagreeing with you. And it’s a very unusual choice for Nicole Kidman. She usually chooses more polished things. And it’s very young, and I don’t mean that she looks ugly or that she’s revealing parts of her body that we don’t want to see, because I’d never say that and she’s not. But it does kind of look like what you’d wear to an awards show if you were 16 years old and plucked from obscurity because a big-deal agent happened to be at your school play in a tiny rural town in Tennessee because her nephew goes to that school and she plucked you out of obscurity and now you’re on the red carpet and you just can’t believe that this is where life has taken you and you want ALL THE PINK AND SPARKLES!

Kate: Or, cruise ship.

Erica: But the thing is, the dress is a particular thing, and it is doing the job of being its particular thing very well. And I even like the necklace with it and the hairstyle.

Kate: No, there are multiple necklaces, which is very casual, no? Her hair always looks good.

Erica: I know, you think I’ve lost it.

 

Queen Latifah

2016 SAGs Queen Latifah.jpg

Kate: I liked her Golden Globes look a lot better, but this is still nice. Minus the hair.

Erica: To me, it’s fine. Not gorgeous, not amazing, but fine.

Kate: I guess I’m not over the sequins if the sequins are on Queen Latifah.

 

Rachel McAdams

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Kate: This is a very different Rachel than the one we saw at the Golden Globes, and I have to say I liked that one better.

Erica: She continues to be an extremely adorable person. My only thing is, with this dress, I would have gone with more sculpted hair and a bolder makeup look.

Kate: Yea, I don’t like her hair blond or this short, and it looks like she’s not wearing much makeup at all, and she looks pretty unhappy to be there. I also REALLY don’t like t-shirt dresses. At all. The skirt is flawless, the rest is your basic disaster.

 

Rooney Mara

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Erica: It wouldn’t actually kill you to smile, you know. You’re here because your career is going extremely well and lots of people are admiring your work.

Kate: Well I like this a lot better than what she wore to the Globes, and I don’t mean to “skinny shame” or whatever they’re calling it these days, but her thin frame is rather alarming to me. Wait, is that the same EXACT hairstyle that she wore to the Globes? Come on.

Erica: I think it’s, legit, her frame, though. I like this less but it’s not that intriguing a dress, and I kind of liked the Globes one.

Kate: I get that a frame like that works great for fashion, but it’s just a little shocking. I also wish she had worn some earrings or something

Erica: A smile. The thing you are never fully dressed without.

Kate: And her sister Kate, while more normally framed, doesn’t look that much better. I hate the mock-turtleneck look, no matter how subtle. Perhaps she’d look better in Rooney’s dress and Rooney in hers?

2016 SAGs Kate Mara.jpg

Erica: I DID NOT REALIZE UNTIL THIS MOMENT THAT THEY WERE SISTERS. I don’t know why I’m finding this so mind-blowing. I am very tired.

Kate: And their family owns the NY Giants.

Erica: WHAT?! Okay, wait, Ms. Rooney. You are an acclaimed actress in critical darling movies that will probably help you build a long-term career AND you get to hang with Eli Manning and you’re STILL making that face?! Cut it out, now, young lady.

Kate: I mean, I doubt she hangs with Eli, but yea. Be better.

 

Sarah Hyland

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Kate: I am surprised by how much I like this.

Erica: She continues to dress like a celebrity about 15 years older than she is.

Kate: Oh, I don’t think the dress is particularly old. I think she totally has that effortlessly fabulous thing going for her here — the dress is super flattering and well tailored, the makeup is simple but lovely, and the short blowout looks chic but comfortable (to the extent that hair can be comfortable?). The earrings are just OK and I could do without the slit and the shoes, but all around fab.

 

Sarah Silverman

2016 SAGs Sarah Silverman.jpg

Erica: Holy moly, she looks good. She never looks like she cares this much.

Kate: WHAT? I think she looks like a complete disaster. And I feel like she AIMS to look like a complete disaster.

Erica: I mean, the dress does not look like she picked it up off the clearance rack at H&M. That is a big step for her!

Kate: She also walked onto the red carpet holding a can of Red Bull.

Erica: Really? That’s kind of hilarious. My favorite thing that happened at an awards show ever was when Emma Thompson walked on stage with her martini glass in one hand and her shoes in the other.

Kate: Anyway, this color looks bad on her skin, the mermaid bottom is awkward, and she just cannot pull off strapless. I feel her pain, but she can’t pull it off and should stop wearing it to every damn red carpet.

 

Sofia Vergara

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Erica: You know, sometimes, I don’t think Sofia Vergara is a real human. I think she was constructed in a lab. “We need the epitome of Sexy Latina!” “Coming right up, Doc!”

Kate: Yea, she’s flawless. With that necklace she almost looks like she’s on the same cruise ship as Nicole Kidman, though.

 

Susan Sarandon

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Kate: Oh dear god she’s wearing a bra.

Erica: When was the last time we saw Susan Sarandon on the red carpet?

Kate: I would be completely fine with Susan Sarandon on the red carpet in a white tux — even with not-done hair, even with too-short pants — were it not for the BLACK. BRA. So inappropriate!

Erica: It’s not even a black bustier or something that looks like lingerie but lingerie you’re supposed to see. It looks like a regular old bra. That’s very strange and unfortunate. Susan Sarandon, I refuse to let this outfit enter into my picture of you in my head. I just watched Bull Durham for the first time, and I did not like it, but I adored you, and I’m just going to picture you in any outfit you wore in that instead.

 

Tina Fey

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Kate: Oooooh I love me some Tina Fey in red.

Erica: Hair and makeup are on freakin’ fleek. Dress is fine. She’s gaining in swagger with every red carpet. You do rock, Tina Fey. You know it.

Kate: Can we give her Best Dressed from the Neck Up? Her hair, makeup and jewelry are just too perfect.

Erica: I am amenable to that.

 

Uzo Aduba

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Kate: Hmmm…Better than her Golden Globes look, but not by much.

Erica: Really, really nice. Gorgeous color. Gorgeous makeup and hair situation. I think the shoes might be matchy-matchy, but with a color like that, I think that’s a valid decision, and also, you can’t really see them, so who cares?

Kate: Oh I think the hair is a little nutso, and tops like that are just not flattering on women with big boobs. The green is very nice on her, though.

Erica: You know, as a woman with big boobs, I do tend to avoid necklines like that. But I don’t mind it on her.

2016 SAGs Orange is the New Black.jpg

Kate: I’d actually like to give a shoutout to the whole OITNB cast, who all look extremely lovely. Especially Laura Prepon — very ethereal.

2016 SAGs Laura Prepon.jpg

 

Viola Davis

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Kate: Ooooh I love! Another fab short bob!

Erica: The hair I like. The dress color I really don’t like at all. And it’s that wrinkly satin.

Kate: Yes the dress color is a little Oprah-y in a bad way, and I agree about the material, but as a whole package she looks great.

Erica: So are we just giving Best Dressed to Helen Mirren and Best Makeup and Hair to Tina Fey?

Kate: Yes to the latter, no to the former, need to change it up a little.

Erica: Alright, let me think. I mean, there’s Kate Winslet, but she’s just perfect, not interesting. And I love Maisie Williams but I just think she’s too young for it. You know what? I might lean Anna Faris. It’s surprising me because I didn’t think I liked it at all at first, but it’s glam, interesting, well-accessorized, and with good hair and makeup. Thoughts?

Kate: Totally ok with that! (Partially because I hope it makes Chris Pratt like me.)

Erica: And who are we giving Worst Dressed to? I vote Julianne Moore. Because I know you can do better, Julianne. You are a brilliant, talented woman. You can either do better, or you can convince me that you’re comfortable enough with your position in Hollywood that you don’t feel you have to do better, but you cannot show up in lime green monstrosities anymore.

Kate: Oh, ok, so that dress is green. Ok with her for Worst Dressed. Next up: The Grammys, February 15! (But really the day after. Be realistic, people.)

Golden Globes 2016

Kate: Happy 2016 awards show season to us!!!

Erica: It’s not wrong, what we do, right? I mean, we’re not critiquing the people, we’re critiquing the clothes. And we only cover women because the men are all in the same outfit. Which is, yes, the product of a sexist society, but it’s not, like, OUR fault.

Kate: No, it’s fun what we do, and everyone does it. Celebrities sign up for this. Are the Golden Globes earlier than usual this year? I feel like they are.

Erica: I don’t think so.

Kate: I’m excited about Ricky Gervais hosting again, because I didn’t like him at all the first time around, and now I do, so I’ll probably find him funnier.

Erica: Oh, I’m still not a fan. But I did like his joke about making the same for this gig as Tina Fey and Amy Poehler.

 

America Ferrera

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Kate: We’ve seen this dress before, have we not? If not in this color than in another?

Erica: Maybe? It’s a similar style to what she usually wears.

Kate: It’s nice, but boring, and her hair is too severely pulled back for the neckline.

Erica: That neckline is hard. I mean, I do not like severe hair, but I don’t know what to do with that neckline that isn’t either severe or, like, something an eight year old would like in 1987.

 

Amy Adams

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Kate: Who says redheads can’t wear red? I love this! She looks so much better when she’s not feeling the pressure of being nominated, huh?

Erica: I kind of say redheads can’t wear red. Or at least, the red would have looked nicer if it were a more blue-toned red rather than an orange-toned red.

Kate: Oh no I think it looks great. And her hair is perfect — very much like her twin Isla Fisher’s — and the dress looks fun and dare I say comfortable? She just looks like she’s there to have a grand old time.

Erica: She is a lovely human as ever. Not super-thrilled with the dress.

 

Amy Schumer

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Kate: It’s like a mish-mosh of every black-and-white dress anyone has ever worn on the red carpet, and while both colors are classic the whole thing feels a little dated. But it’s a heck of a lot better than that turquoise strapless monstrosity she wore to the Emmys, as is her hair.   

Erica: I mean, look, I hate black-and-white formal dresses in general. (Except this one my friend Leah wore to our jr/sr formal that just made her boobs look fantastic, so it gets a pass.)

Kate: She looks nice overall, I just know she’s capable of looking a lot better.

Erica: I think she will not be capable of looking better until SHE believes that she can look better. You know?

Kate: She looks better in, like, random episodes of Inside Amy Schumer. PS CAN’T WAIT TO SEE HER IN JUNE!!!

 

Brie Larson

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Kate: I was against seeing Room because the book upset me so much, but I guess now I’ll have to.

Erica: I can’t. I liked the book but I can’t see the movie. I know my limits.

Kate: So I really like this because it’s super Ancient Greece/Egypt-looking, which you know I love, and hello abs, but I don’t know if it’s really right for this here red carpet.

Erica: Yeah? I think it’s fine. I don’t love it and I don’t hate it but it’s nice and the right level of fancy.

 

Calista Flockhart

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Kate: Including her because I just saw the new Star Wars and am feeling very loving toward Harrison Ford.

Erica: She and Harrison Ford are still married? Did I know that?

Kate: Yea. I love this color/pattern as, like, a top from Anthropologie, but it’s just too much as a gown on the red carpet.

Erica: I like it fine. I love the color, as you know, and yes, it would make a very cute top from Anthropologie, but I think it also makes a nice “wife-of” dress for the Golden Globes. She looks super-uncomfortable in any shot that does not have her husband in it, though.

 

Cate Blanchett

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Kate: Mmmm… No. Shaking my head no.

Erica: I knew we were going to disagree on this one. I thought it was stunning.

Kate: I can usually get behind her extremely fashion-forward red carpet choices, but I can’t get behind this pink or this fringe. And I am really not into the side-swept hairstyle, but that may just be the angle of the photo.

Erica: I am fine with the sideswept hair. I love the dress. She looks like one of those Art Nouveau posters. Which is one of my favorite things.

 

Emilia Clarke

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Kate: This isn’t something I’d usually like, but I appreciate that she’s playing up her GOT fashion a little here. Khaleesi’s outfits have been outrageously amazing the last couple seasons, way more exciting than what Emilia usually wears on the red carpet, so it makes sense that she’d go in this direction.

Erica: Ooh no I don’t like it. Too depressing.

Kate: I do, it comes off very chic and almost like Khaleesi’s dark-haired evil twin — hey, maybe that’s what’s happening in season 6!

Erica: That would be amazing. But I hate the dress. She looked really cute at HBO’s afterparty, though:

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Kate: Oh no, I like this way less.

 

Eva Longoria

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Kate: I have to be careful with this one because I’m TOTALLY SEEING HER WEDNESDAY NIGHT AT WATCH WHAT HAPPENS LIVE (!!!), but I have a few qualms about it.

Erica: I liked it overall but I agree with some qualms.

Kate: My qualms are the bows — are they really both necessary? Is the one at the waist just a gold ribbon that doesn’t actually come with the dress? Without that it’d be divine!

Erica: So, to me, it was mostly that the two bows didn’t match. Like, why is there a pink glittery thing at the neck but a gold glittery thing at the waist? I think it could work if they were both the same color. Although you could lose the belt and it would be fine.

Kate: …Crap I really hope she doesn’t read this blog before Wednesday night.

Erica: No, no, no, look. The dress is great, other than our quibble. I think it’s unique and pretty and looks fantastic on her. I especially love how either the flower design or her walk or both make her hips look very sexy. Also, COMPLETELY FLAWLESS makeup and hair. ALSO completely flawless delivery of teleprompter jokes, which is hard, y’all. Also, every time I see her on a talk show or what have you, she comes across as really intelligent and really charming and I know she does a lot of work with politics, especially voter outreach and immigration issues, so good for her, using her talent, humor, fame, and good looks for good. There. That should make her like you. Even though I kind of hate Andy Cohen, I’m jealous that you’ll be seeing her.

Kate: Well, that’ll make her like YOU!

 

Gina Rodriguez

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Kate: Oh, Gina, you got confused. It’s the Golden Globes, not the Oscars, dear.

Erica: Aw, come on, Kate. She’s a TV star. She doesn’t go to the Oscars.

Kate: (Speaking of which, that bit about TV vs. movie stars by Will Ferrell was incredible.) It’s just too much dress. And this satin ALWAYS looks wrinkled on the red carpet no matter what anyone does with it beforehand.

Erica: Yeah, that’s true. But I love the shape and the color.

 

Giuliana Rancic

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Kate: She really swears she’s an A List celebrity now, doesn’t she?

Erica: I like to continue to pretend I don’t know who she is.

Kate: I mean yea this is kind of a killer dress, but I’d rather see it on almost anyone else. She has grown increasingly rude and crass and flat-out mean on Fashion Police, and she has really lost a fan in me. (In case you hadn’t noticed.)

Erica: They make them be crude and mean on Fashion Police, right? That’s the job description. I don’t love the dress, myself, although the sleeves are kind of spectacular, and I do like pairing turquoise jewelry with orange. But the orange, her skin tone, and the hair don’t really work together and also, I don’t really want to acknowledge her.

Kate: They didn’t start out all being mean on Fashion Police, mean was Joan Rivers’s thing (RIP), everyone else was supposed to be objectively judging fashion. Like us!

 

Helen Mirren

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Kate: This woman is 70 years old. SEVENTY. YEARS. OLD. Look at her!

Erica: For real.

Kate: Helen Mirren is officially my new life goal. “Why do you go to the gym every morning, Kate? Why are you spending so much money on moisturizer, Kate?” So I can look like Helen Mirren when I’m 70, that’s why. Incredible!

Erica: I just heard a podcast of a screenplay in which a major plot point is that the husband has a crush on Helen Mirren and then she shows up in a bar and flirts with him and I thought, you know, if they made this screenplay, she’d probably do it, because that the kind of cool chick she is.

 

Jada Pinkett Smith

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Kate: This kind of looks like a top I could buy at H&M with a whole lot of extra material. Not feelin’ it.

Erica: I have a bad taste in my mouth about her and I can’t think why. Did she do something of which I disapproved?

Kate: Perhaps it’s her facial expression. It’s just all very mermaidy — in a bad way, because sometimes we like mermaids — and the shoes and eye shadow are way too matchy-matchy.

Erica: I like the color but you’re right about the shoes. But it’s also very slinky and sexy and she doesn’t usually do that, does she? It’s especially weird when she’s all, “Check out my super-sexy legs!” while standing next to her son.

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Also, I saw her hugging Jenna Dewan-Tatum. Does that mean the Tatums are joining Scientology?

Kate: No no no no no!

 

Jane Fonda

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Kate: Jane was planning on wearing a plain white long-sleeved column dress, and just before she got into her limo she decided it was too boring so she grabbed her dust ruffle and wrapped it around her shoulders.

Erica: I don’t care, I love it. I love how crazy pants it is.

 

Jenna Dewan-Tatum

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Kate: This is probably a little too much dress for someone who really has nothing to do with the Golden Globes and is just someone’s date, but she looks pretty nice.

Erica: She really does. It’s very glam. I guess when you’re standing next to Channing Tatum, you want to really stand out. (I say this on behalf of the world, not myself. Channing Tatum is very nice-looking, but he’s way too young for me to find attractive.)

Kate: He’s the perfect man and Ian agrees with me. I do like the silhouette of the gown, even if the pattern is a bit overwhelming. And did she poof her hair in the front? Come on.

Erica: I can’t really see what about her hair you’re objecting to. It looks fine to me.

 

Jennifer Jason Leigh

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Kate: Including her because I saw her on Watch What Happens Live! the other night and was really taken aback by her weirdness — what is her deal?

Erica: She has too many names. That’s the problem.

Kate: This dress is gross — very 80s in a very bad way, horrible color, and a belt that doesn’t belong anywhere. Worst Dressed nominee!

Erica: Sleeves are very stupid. Bodice is somehow BOTH popping her boobs out unattractively AND making them look droopy. But it’s a testament to how boring and safe everyone is being that this otherwise blah number is on the Worst Dressed list.

 

Jennifer Lawrence

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Kate: Ok so I really love the dress. I love the color, I love her new take on cutouts (I know how you feel about cutouts, Er), I love how fab it looks on her body. It probably doesn’t need such a thick blingy necklace, but it’s a gorgeous piece and she pulls it off.

Erica: Yeah, I don’t like the cut outs. I don’t like this at all. Also, she and Amy didn’t really deliver their teleprompter jokes that well, which, I understand that teleprompters are hard and the jokes are typically too cheesy, but for real. Amy Schumer and Jennifer Lawrence. How much did you have to drink that early in the proceedings that the two of you, of all people, could not pull them off?

Kate: I thought they were funny! The only thing I don’t like is her hair. I’m hoping the color is because of a role and not a voluntary choice, and I just think wearing it all down in soft waves would have looked nicer. I get that she’s trying to give the necklace and the dress all the attention, I just don’t agree with the choice.

Erica: It’s too pale for her. The hair. I don’t care one way or another about the necklace because I hate the dress.

 

Jennifer Lopez

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Kate: I love that she just can’t go to anything anymore without showing a significant amount of skin. It really is her thing — I mean, she started it.

Erica: Yeah, I really like the look on her. I like her overall style, with or without skin, because it’s always daring, whatever she does, and it’s always executed flawlessly.

Kate: I would probably like the dress better without the mini-cape, but I also get why it’s there, and the color would obviously be awful on anyone else. She broke it up nicely with accessories. I do, however, luuuuuurrrrrvvvveee the hair. Lurve.

Erica: Yeah? I like it darker on her.

Kate: But the soft flippiness of it? Lurve.

 

Joanne Froggatt

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Kate: Absolutely beautiful color on her. Beautiful.

Erica: Oh this is my catnip.

Kate: The structured strapless/sweetheart neck with the deep V isn’t that flattering on her, though. The whole thing would have been very goddess-like if it had straps — maybe in a halter? — in the same material as the skirt.

Erica: Well, that neckline is very difficult. It always looks too low. But otherwise I love it.

 

Julia Louis-Dreyfus

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Kate: Hair and makeup on FLEEK as per usual, but truly underwhelmed by the dress.

Erica: You know, when you’ve been nominated SO MANY TIMES, and you have to go to these things, like EVERY OTHER DAY, sometimes you want to just drop by Bloomies, pick up a dress, and be done with it.

Kate: She overall never looks anything short of amazing, I just don’t feel strongly about the dress one way or another. It’s a very confusing feeling, or non-feeling, I admit, but it’s there, and I don’t know what to do with it.

 

Julianne Moore

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Kate: Nope. Hate it.

Erica: Agree. This is my anti-catnip.

Kate: It’s WAY too much blue, way way way. And can we just be DONE with the sequin overkill?

Erica: I think the color is fine, it’s just there’s too much dress, so it’s overwhelming. And yes, please let’s be done with sequin overkill. Please.

 

Kate Hudson

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Kate: I’m really not even sure you could call this a “dress”, and whatever it is I really don’t like it, but HOW does her body keep getting better with each passing year?

Erica: Hate the “dress”. Her body is insane. Doesn’t she have a new expensive yoga-wear line out? I must say though, something weird is happening with her face. And also her hair. But yes. Body. Sicker than ever.

Kate: Yes, Fabletics. I can’t bring myself to buy any because my workout gear and pajamas are one and the same.

 

Kate Winslet

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Kate: A lovely and very Kate Winslet choice, which means it’s a tiny bit boring.

Erica: Yeah, it’s what she always wears, but she wears it well. And she’s crazy talented and incredibly gracious, so that looks good on her, too.

Kate: And I’m really over this side-swept hairstyle, but her jewelry and skin and makeup all look phenomenal.

Erica: I like the side-swept hair. And the makeup is completely perfect.

 

Katy Perry

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Kate: WHOA, hello hair?

Erica: Well, she’s Katy Perry. She can’t just wear a sexy tight pink dress; there has to be a costume-y element. In keeping with her “slutty version of Zooey Deschanel” aesthetic, I approve of this ensemble (although not so much the shoes).

Kate: I mean I like the dress fine but who can look past that hair? Also, what is she doing there?

Erica: That I cannot answer for you. I was hoping that watching (some of) the telecast would clue me in but it didn’t.

Kate: She presented Best Original Song. Really, Hollywood Foreign Press Association, we couldn’t find anyone else to do that? I generally like Katy Perry, I just feel like we could have had someone with a little more dignity — and less ridiculous hair — present this award.  

 

Kirsten Dunst

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Kate: We haven’t seen her on a major red carpet in a long time, and I’m so happy she has made such a triumphant return. She used to wear some pretty weird sh!t.

Erica: Well, this is weird, but not really crazy.

Kate: Really? This may already be a Best Dressed nominee for me. The only thing I’d change is the black string going across her collarbone; it’s just not necessary. Everything else about this look is completely on fleek.

Erica: No, for the dress, it’s a necessary element. I don’t love the sort of haute-BDSM Valentino look, but it fit with that aesthetic.

Kate: HOLD ON. HER BOYFRIEND IS GARRETT HEDLUND?! He is so dreamy!

Erica: Who?

Kate: He’s an actor/country singer who starred in the instant classic Country Strong. (I honestly don’t know if he’s really a country singer but he sang country songs — which I LOVE — in that movie, so. There.)

Erica: You know, I’ve never seen that movie, and I don’t really understand how that happened.

Kate: Oh it’s so bad it’s good. It’s basically the movie version of Nashville.  

 

Lady Gaga

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Kate: Extremely Jessica Rabbit/Marilyn Monroe-esque.

Erica: Love it.

Kate: Remember when we used to say “What if Lady Gaga showed up to award shows wearing boring black dresses?”? I kind of wish she’d go back to her old ways.

Erica: Yes, but this is flawless.

 

Laverne Cox

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Kate: This is how you do white on the red carpet without looking bridal. (See below for Taraji P. Henson doing this the wrong way.)

Erica: I disagree that Taraji P. Henson did it wrong, as you’ll see, but yes, yes, yes to Laverne Cox. So much yes.

Kate: Love everything about it, even though I’ve already said twice that I’m done with side buns. Best Dressed nominee.

Erica: Side bun looks totally cute. She is really getting the hang of this red carpet thing.

 

Leslie Mann

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Kate: I want to like this because I like her so much, but it’s really falling flat for me.

Erica: Oh, I like it fine.

Kate: The top is very ill-fitting, the beading below the waist doesn’t flow right, and the shade just doesn’t work with her skin tone and hair color. And she definitely doesn’t need that necklace. But it’s all so close to working that it’s frustrating, you know?

Erica: It’s probably a reflection of how she sees herself. Like, she probably doesn’t think she’s a big enough star to worry about getting all the details right. I do like the concept of the dress, but you’re right; little changes would make it a lot better.

 

Lily James

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Erica: I thought her look would be in your wheelhouse, with its goddessy aspect, no?

Kate: Yes I like it, I just don’t really know who she is or what she does. I don’t love the hair and dark makeup with this style of dress, and I am kind of done with the one-shoulder cutouts.

 

Maggie Gyllenhaal

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Kate: Someone needs to tell Patricia Field that Maggie Gyllenhaal stole all of Carrie Bradshaw’s flower pins and made this awful dress out of them. Gross.

Erica: I need to stop looking at this dress right away. I’m sorry, Maggie Gyllenhaal. I think you’re a fabulous actress.

 

Malin Akerman

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Kate: I thought we were done with the peplum, no?

Erica: Nothing ever truly dies, does it?

Kate: The lace makes the whole thing seem very droopy, and the color is very drab. Not impressed.

Erica: Both yawn-worthy and ugly.

 

Melissa McCarthy

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Kate: She has lost a ton of weight lately and looks absolutely phenomenal, and yet she chose a dress that completely hides that (that she apparently designed herself?). Very disappointing.

Erica: It’s part of her line. I think it’s too baggy. That much shiny fabric, in that color, just looks sort of garbage-baggy.

Kate: Adore the hair, though.

Erica: Sure. And the human.

 

Natalie Dormer

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Kate: Wow, it’s going to be hard for anyone to top this on the Worst Dressed list. What was she thinking?!

Erica: Really? I don’t like it, but I don’t hate it with vehemence. I think the dress accomplishes what it wants to accomplish.

Kate: Oh no, there’s absolutely nothing appealing about this dress, or this whole look. Not one damn thing.

Erica: Well, I agree I don’t find it appealing. Also, her hair looks ratty in most pictures.

 

Olivia Wilde

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Kate: Ooohhh no.

Erica: Yeah.

Kate: Oh no oh no. The necklace ruins everything. EVERYTHING, OLIVIA!

Erica: It really does. It’s totally out of place.

Kate. Also the hair. It’s so 2000s surfer girl, bleh! And her eyeshadow matches her dress/makes her face looked bruised! Double bleh!

Erica: I mean, I really hate ombre hair. The style of the hair is okay, though. Or would be, with a different dress/for a different event.

Kate: The dress isn’t even that great, but it would be ok without all this other nonsense. Ugh.

 

Queen Latifah

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Kate: Honestly? Best I’ve ever seen her look. Absolutely love it, but would probably hate it on anyone else.

Erica: I like it fine. I do feel like she’s worn things that have wowed me in the past, and this doesn’t wow me, but it’s very nice.

 

Rachel McAdams

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Kate: I feel like this dress is so Rachel McAdams, like no one else could/would ever even think of wearing it. (That’s not a bad thing.)

Erica: I feel like you, specifically, would hate this dress on anyone else.

Kate: You’re probably right. The only thing I don’t like is the hair, again with the poofy front. It’s not cool anymore, gals!

Erica: Well, but we don’t like too severe, either. What should they do?

Kate: You can’t go wrong with tousled loose waves.

 

Regina King

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Kate: Oh, this is almost as bad as Natalie Dormer’s dress, but not quite.

Erica: I don’t feel that this has anything to do with Natalie Dormer’s dress, but I hate it.

Kate: Everyone’s all about these capes this year, but this one doesn’t look like it was supposed to be anywhere near this dress. And the dress material and pattern and swirling and shimmering are just wrong, wrong, wrong.

Erica: Yes about the cape and I say this as a full supporter of capes on the red carpet. Or, you know, wherever. Also, the dress, which is kind of dreadful, looks bad on her specifically. That is not at all the right silhouette for her figure.

 

Rooney Mara

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Kate: Frightening. I saw this and was actually frightened.

Erica: I knew you would hate this. I saw this dress and thought, “If they ever write a textbook on Erica-and-Kate fashion opinions, this dress would represent the exact place where Kate and Erica completely disagree”.

Kate: The dress is the exact color of her skin, and it looks so awkward on her body, like she just really doesn’t want to be wearing it/doesn’t want to be there.

Erica: I do not mind the exact-color-of-skin thing, and I think the dress is romantic and interesting. Whether she wants to be wearing it/be at this award show is another issue entirely.

Kate: By that I mean it just doesn’t look right on her, and these ladies are all supposed to be looking effortlessly striking.

 

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley

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Kate: I am honestly not sure what this girl has done to earn herself a spot on the red carpet, but this is quite a lovely dress and she has quite a nice body. Can you guess what I don’t like about the overall look, though?

Erica: She’s the same color from head to toe?

Kate: Correct! I also think she looks alarmingly similar to Lala on Vanderpump Rules (seriously, WHAT is that name?).

Erica: It’s a name that says, “I want SO BADLY to be the slutty one on a reality show”.

Kate: Ah, then it’s working.

 

Sophia Bush

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Kate: Nothing like a slinky black dress with a deep V, eh?

Erica: Sure.

Kate: The slick hair and the red lip and the necklace all together may be a wee bit harsh, but overall she looks lovely. She always does.

Erica: What is she doing now? Because I would probably watch it, just for her adorability. If there’s one thing I got from this telecast, it’s that there’s a lot of good TV I’m not watching.

Kate: That trilogy of Chicago shows — Fire, PD, Med. None of which are Globes-worthy, though, so not sure how she scored the invite.  

 

Taraji P. Henson

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Kate: I love this, but it’s a wedding dress. A very sleek, modern wedding dress that doesn’t fit her so well around the middle, but a wedding dress nonetheless.

Erica: No, no, no, love it. Love white on darker ladies. Love its sleek fit. Love her hair and makeup. Love.

Kate: But why is she always making those crazy facial expressions on the red carpet? Does it have something to do with her Empire character?

Erica: Oh, no idea.

 

Uzo Aduba

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Kate: Ummm…She’s looked better.

Erica: She stole this dress from Adele.

Kate: Ooh good call! During the actual show I thought her new haircut looked great, but this overall look ages her a great deal. She kind of looks like Oprah, and not in a good way.

Erica: Yes! It does age her! I couldn’t put my finger on why I didn’t like it.

 

Viola Davis

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Kate: This is super lovely and really moved beautifully on camera, which you can’t really see in a still photo, but the sparkle was just a little too sparkly. Maybe if the sleeves were just plain sheer without the additional sparkle?

Erica: I like it. But I like capes. I also felt when she came out on stage, the audience saw her, applauded like they did everyone, and then the applause grew as they became more and more dazzled by the dress.

Kate: You might be right about that.

 

Zendaya

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Kate: I feel like she’s kind of too small and too young to wear a dress like this, but it still looks really, really good.

Erica: No, I don’t like it. Like her hair and makeup. Okay with the color. Hate the lampshade effect. Also I feel it’s a little boring and that we’ve seen her be a little more wild, no?

Kate: I guess. So, Best Dressed goes to…?

Erica: Did we agree on anyone tonight? Want to give it to Helen Mirren?

Kate: I am super-duper OK with that! Worst Dressed?

Erica: Ugh. I can’t actually look at Maggie Gyllenhaal’s dress. Like, I can’t see it. It’s giving me some sort of stomach ache. So I guess her. Or Regina King.

Kate: Even more OK with that. Well that’s all folks, see you on Sunday, January 31 after the SAG Awards!