I should start this post by declaring how pop-culturally out of it I am this year. I don’t know who was nominated; I haven’t seen anything but The King’s Speech and Toy Story 3; I don’t know who hosted (oh, that’s right, James Franco and Anne Hathaway, somewhat inexplicably), and, at this point, I don’t even know who won. Though I’m sure I’ll find out in the process of writing this post.
But all we really care about are outfits, right? I’ll be getting my pictures from gettyimages.com and linking to them.
1. Case in point – this woman? I’m not totally sure who she is. And she won for Best Supporting Actress. (For The Fighter. So that’s who she is.) I am pretty out of it. Her dress? Interesting concept, but I don’t like the concept for the Oscars, and I don’t like the execution of the concept on her body. It’s making her look weirdly proportioned, I think. Or this particular shot is. Still, congrats!
2. You can always count on Cate Blanchett to look interesting. And this is that. I don’t know, I kind of like it, although it’s a little pale for her.
3. Damn, girl!
4. Justin Timberlake brought his mom?! I don’t care one way or another about Justin Timberlake, but squee! Also, she looks great; I love that color.
5. Annette Bening is another person I feel like I haven’t seen in forever. Interesting choice. I feel like I can’t really judge it as a dress, because it’s making her boobs look weird.
6. Love the dress, not so much the hair, but congrats and also good job hauling your extra person to the event and all.
7. Oh, Helena Bonham Carter. You just couldn’t help yourself, could you?
8. Well, I’ll tell you the trouble with this dress, right here, Sandra Bullock. Everything you ever wear after this is going to be a disappointment to you. You’ll have fabulous gowns, charming little jeans-and-tops outfits, beautiful and comfortable sundresses that can be dressed up with heels and jewelry or thrown on over a bathing suit with a coloful tote, and no matter what, you will always say, but remember the 83rd annual Academy Awards? I looked perfect then.
9. Um, wow. Gwyneth Paltrow, I was starting not to like you very much, but between this dress and your Glee stint, I am warming to you again.
10. One – Matthew McConaughey be lookin’ skinny. Isn’t he a pothead? Doesn’t that give you an appetite? Two – that would be a fabulous dress on his girlfriend (wife?) except the hem is all f-ed up. Is there a shortage of decent seamstresses and tailors in LA?
11. This is a weird choice for Nicole Kidman. It makes her look oddly proportioned and what’s with the orange shoes? On the other hand, I’m always happy when redheads have, you know, red hair.
12. Celine Dion looks great, sure, but haven’t I seen her in this outfit before?
13. Is there even any point in talking about how fabulous Helen Mirren looks anymore?
14. Or Halle Berry?
15. On the other hand, what’s with Marisa Tomei‘s dress? That’s . . . not good. I just . . . it’s not good.
16. I understand the concept here, and if, say, it went from white to pink, like Gwen Stefani’s wedding dress, or white to blue or purple or orange or gold or something, fine. But white to gray? It just looks like Hilary Swank got her dress dirty.
17. Sharon Stone has actually died or maybe is very ill or in hiding, and is now being played by an impersonator with a penchant for parody. Right?
18. Work it, girl. Although, if I may? Maybe not the necklace and some fabulous earrings instead? I have to say, I think with the high-neck gown, if you have long hair, there’s the debate about up or down, and generally, I think, up veers on frumpy for young women, so I think Amy Adams made the right choice there.
19. Love it. Well, mostly I love the color. And I do kind of like the effect of the different color lace. But seriously. Where are her boobs? Did Ryan Reynolds get them in the divorce?
20. While Jason and I were watching this week’s Glee episode (which was, I thought, the best one in a long, long while), Jason was wondering about Rachel Berry’s dress, and why she would wear such a thing, and where a young woman such as herself would even get such a thing, but I guess she and Florence Welch shop at the same place, the store for bridesmaid apparel for participants in extremely religious weddings.
21. Hailee Steinfeld looks very nice, and I hear she was some kind of wonderful in True Grit, but I think she went for age-appropriate and actually hit a little bit too young. Better that, though, then the other kind of error for a young woman in Hollywood.
22. Michelle Williams looks like she might have lost a lot of weight. After she had a fitting for that dress. I like her make-up, though.
23. Mandy Moore looks very tall here. And I like her hair color. The dress is fine, I suppose.
24. Jesse Eisenberg, stand up straight. Get your hands out of your pockets. Get your hair out of your eyes. Now give your grandma a little kiss, my little bubbeleh I’m so proud of you.
26. Very nice. A bit boring. Par for the course for Anne Hathaway.
27. You know, I have to give this woman credit. It is not easy to find a dress that actually utilizes the tattoos you already have as a perfect accessory.
29. I love you, Colin Firth, oh, yes, I do! I love you, Colin Firth, and I’ll be true! And also you look great and your wife is beautiful and has a lovely dress on. Congratulations on a well-deserved win!
30. OMG Reese Witherspoon looks so frickin’ cute I can’t stand it. Love, love, love the hair. And the attitude.
Well, congratulations to all the winners and the nominees and I’ll try to watch your movies soon!
Kate, what did you think?