Kate: Fashion Police on E! is back, and SO ARE WE with the 67th annual Primetime Emmy Awards!
Erica: Yeah, we’re back from the not-even-a-week-long hiatus we took between SYTYCD and this.
Kate: I’m curious as to why E! didn’t ask us to replace Kelly Osbourne and Kathy Griffin.
Erica: Please. We are way too classy.
Kate: Well put your mittens around your kittens and AWAY we GO!
Kate: Solid basic black choice, but what has she done to her hair?
Erica: I kind of like it.
Kate: I want to like it, but it’s throwing me off. I think I have to sit with it for a little while.
Erica: That’s okay. I understand. Change is hard.
Kate: I do not have to sit with those crazy rubbery bracelets, though; they suck. But, she’s Amy Poehler, and Parks & Rec was such an amazing treat for the world, and she looks like she does not give one f*ck, as usual, so WHATEVER! Yay Amy!
Erica: I feel like, as with most of the people this time around, the ensemble is fine. Not exciting, not beautiful, but not dreadful either. Fine. Also, yes, Parks & Rec <3, and also yes, not giving a f*ck, yay!
Kate: Ok, I love this color. A lot. I want to emphasize that.
Erica: Yes. The dress itself is fine and the color is lovely.
Kate: However. I HATE the hair, and think the eye makeup is way too dark. I’ve been watching a lot of her show and she always pokes fun at herself for not being that pretty/skinny/whatever, but she actually is, especially with very light (in terms of colors and amount) makeup, like with a nice peachy lip gloss to play up her fair skin and light hair, and with her hair in very loose tousled ringlets. This is on the opposite side of the tousled spectrum. Like I’m wondering if she actually meant for her hair to look like that.
Erica: Yeah, I thought maybe the hair was going to be part of a bit of some kind. And then when she and Amy Poehler went up to present the first award and did that little beautification thing in front of the stage, I thought, “Oh, they’re going to fix it!” But. No. Not so much.
Kate: The neckline of the dress isn’t the most flattering either — a necklace may have helped — but, again, absolutely love the color and love her very much.
Kate: Oh, she wanted to wear a DNA diagram on her dress.
Erica: See, I first saw this when she was in the audience and I kind of liked it. I thought it was romantic and fetching. Then I saw a picture of her from the front and realized that no, it was not at all fetching. But I did love her enthusiasm every time a Veep person won.
Kate: By enthusiasm you mean crazy intense faces? I pretty much hate this. Her hair looks nuts.
Erica: I don’t mind the concept of the hair, which I know you do, but it looked pretty frazzled.
Erica: Yeah? I mean, she looks very nice. But I don’t know that I LURVE.
Kate: Absolutely perfect shade of red, perfect silhouette, perfect hair, perfect perfect perfect. She is one class act.
Erica: It’s a good color for her. I’m not into the waistline and I’m not into the purse/rings and I don’t know. It’s not wowing me.
Kate: LOVE THE DRESS. LOVE.
Erica: Like the dress. Like. She looks sexy and a little chill and it’s a good look for her.
Kate: Also love the angled bob in theory, but in practice it looks a little casual for that dress/this event. A sleek bun like Ellie Kemper’s (see below) may have worked better. Really love the dress, and PERFECT shoes.
Erica: The hair is not quite as sleek as it needs to be and the make-up could be a little stronger. I do appreciate that she didn’t overdo the jewelry.
Kate: Honestly this would already be a best dressed nominee if not for the hair.
Kate: Cat! It’s our Cat! Hi Cat!
Erica: Do you think if we met her in person we’d just start talking to her like we know her and she’d freak out and call the police?
Kate: Yes to the first part, but she’d love us too much to call the police. Um, she’s pregnant? That explains all those weird dresses on SYTYCD!
Erica: You know, I thought it was just light hitting the dress weird, but you could be right. That makes me happy. Cat Deeley should definitely be replicating.
Kate: I am right, pregnancy confirmed. Her hair is absolutely perfectly Cat Deeley-esque, and I think the gold is great on her. A zillion times better than anything she wore all season long.
Erica: Seriously. And we almost never see a side part on her on the show, which I like quite a bit.
Kate: Ok so she was on Watch What Happens Live fairly recently and looked way too skinny to me, but this is the Christina I know and love. VA-VA-VOOM!
Erica: I get the feeling her weight fluctuates a lot. She looks fantastic but I do not love the dress.
Kate: I love her hair like that so very much, and I think very few people other than her could pull off that dress. The crazy patterns and textures accentuate and flatter every inch of her body.
Erica: I do love her hair. The dress — I just want to chop off the sleeves. That’s all.
Kate: Oh no Angela, this is all wrong. All of it — hair style, hair color, dress color, neckline, silhouette, sequins, chains — ALL WRONG!
Erica: Everything she wears on the red carpet looks like a sack hanging off a skeleton. Claire, either eat a sandwich or dress your skinny frame in a flattering way, please.
Kate: Worst dressed nominee.
Erica: I was going to say, I don’t know that it’s that bad, but tonight was pretty boring in terms of fashion, so yeah, probably.
Kate: That neckline with that hair is a little too harsh on her, but the dress itself is a lot of fun.
Erica: Yeah, the hair could be some other way, but I like the dress and I like how much she appears to love it.
Kate: Oh no.
Erica: Oh. I love her work on the show, though. But no. She looks like a person made famous by being rejected by some horrible old music star on a VH1 reality show.
Kate: She always looks a hot mess on the red carpet, let’s get her a stylist shall we? Brad, are you free to take on another client?
Erica: She needs help. She’s a lovely and talented person but she dresses like…Well, I’m too much of a lady to say what she dresses like.
Kate: Oh, so that’s where Amy Poehler’s hair color went.
Erica: She’s been doing that hair for a while now. We do not like, Elisabeth Moss. We like you, but not blond hair on you.
Kate: Not a fan at all. The hair color is way too harsh against her skin. I like the dress color, but the dress itself is rather boring. This falls flat for me all around.
Erica: See, I agree that it’s not the most interesting thing ever, and I hate the hair and I don’t love the red lips with the pink gown, but grading on the Elisabeth Moss curve? It’s fine.
Kate: For some reason on anyone else I think I’d hate this, but on this adorable woman who plays such an adorable character, I love it. (Please note that it looked a lot better during the Emmys than it does in the photos.)
Erica: I actually like it quite a bit. It’s pretty and interesting, looks well made, flatters her nicely, fits her “brand,” and she (or someone else) styled it well. Good job, Ellie!
Kate: I also love the severity/formality of her hair and clean, classic makeup in contrast to the funkiness of the dress. BEST DRESSED NOMINEE!
Erica: Definitely under consideration.
Kate: ExCUSE ME Julia Roberts’ niece!
Erica: OH! Is that who she is?
Kate: Yes! Hot damn she looks incredible. I love this dress. In ivory or another shade of white, and maybe a slightly less shiny material, it could be a fabulous wedding dress? Kind of looks like mine maybe a little? No? Ok.
Erica: I did like the dress a lot although I thought it was a teensy bit too pale/shiny.
Kate: The only thing that’s throwing me off is the dress being almost the same color as her skin, which we know I don’t like, and the very light hair. This would have been absolute perfection on a brunette. (Sorry blonds, I am usually not this prejudiced against you.)
Erica: Yeah, you usually hate that. I agree, brunette (which she sometimes is, no? Or do I completely not know who Emma Roberts is?), lack of shine, perfect.
Erica. It’s so bad it’s funny. I’m certain she meant it to be this bad, really.
Erica: She’s like, “I am Heidi Klum. Let’s test the ‘Anything would look good on me’ theory!”
Kate: THIS IS ⅓ OF BIG BIRD’S COSTUME! NO!
Kate: I think the overall look is very classy and elegant and pretty, and I even like the color blocking, but I CANNOT with the peplum — I thought we were over that! — and I think it would like a lot better as a column instead of a flared skirt.
Erica: It feels like those pieces were just added to the dress to f*ck with us. The dress would be great without them. And her hair and make-up are lovely, and also, I want Jane Krakowski to be in more things.
Kate: So, when CAN we be done with the peplum?
Erica: When can we be done with the shoulders-forward-hunch pose?
Kate: I wasn’t going to include her but then I heard that Brad Goreski styled her, so yay!
Erica: I’m sure I know who that is.
Kate: We’ve been over this: He was Rachel Zoe’s assistant, then got his own show on Bravo, now is a Fashion Police judge, and stylist to the STARS. I love the two-tonedness and the silhouette and the ribbonyness of this dress a lot.
Erica: It’s not my usual thing but I like it and it looks pretty on her.
Kate: However, I do not like the hair at all. Way too casual. That’s what my hair looks like a few hours after I let it air dry and it has lost all life. NOT red carpet appropriate.
Erica: Oh, in pics, I thought it looked nice. A little casual, sure, but pretty, and great color. Did it not look as good in motion?
Kate: Nope, dead and flat. Although, in her defense, with that complicated neckline, I’m really not sure what hairstyle would have been better.
Kate: Ok, we all know how much I love JLD, right?
Kate: I like this, and she looks gorgeous, but I don’t love it nearly as much as her last, like, 20 red carpet looks. It’s just a little basic. And the earrings are a little too much with the dress and the hair is a little too not enough. Ya know?
Erica: I think it’s boring, as most of the fashions were, but damn if she doesn’t look good. She is keeping it seriously tight, and I thought here hair looked gorgeous.
Kate: No, you know what, I take it back. I didn’t mean any of that, she looks perfectly amazing. Please don’t be mad at me JLD!
Kate: This is a surprisingly safe and classic choice for her — kind of like JLD’s! She usually tries a little harder than this, no?
Erica: I remain convinced that she is lulling us into a false sense of security.
Kate: Well I actually like it. I could do without the third strap around the neck, but without that it’d probably be a little too basic. She’s even channeling her inner Sofia Vergara with that mermaid bottom.
Erica: One day we will be EXPECTING something perfectly classy and nice from her — “Oh, Julie Bowen, yes, she used to dress like a madwoman, but not anymore!” we will say to ourselves, then BOOM! Something horrific.
Kate: It looks like Michael Jackson’s and Prince’s closets got together and had a baby and that baby is this horRENDOUS dress.
Erica: Aw. I was kind of intrigued by this. It was not boring.
Kate: No, it’s gross. Also truly terrible hair. Is that the thing where you tuck long hair under so that it looks like a bob? If so it was very poorly done. SO over you, Kerry Washington!
Erica: I will never be over you, Kerry Washington. Although I did stop watching Scandal. I’m sorry. I couldn’t keep track of who I was supposed to like anymore.
Kate: I get what she’s doing here and I really don’t like it.
Erica: I don’t know. I’m intrigued.
Kate: There just comes a point where I wonder if people wear things that they actually think look good on them or look good in general, or if they just wear it because they heard it’s on trend or just for the shock value. I don’t appreciate that.
Erica: I feel like she’s definitely making a very fashion-forward choice, but I did actually think it looked good on her, and in general — well, it’s interesting. It is not at all boring. And she kept the hair and make-up really perfect and simple so that it didn’t look like she was wearing a costume. She’s getting to have such an interesting and lovely face.
Kate: Of all the people I would expect to wear a basic black one-shoulder gown, Lady Gaga would never be one of them. Her dress, JLD’s and Julie Bowen’s could be interchangeable.
Erica: That seems to be the thing she’s doing now. Normal.
Kate: As I’ve mentioned a few times now, I don’t really like that unnatural blond hair color on anyone, but damn, she cleans up nice. I really love the makeup. Maybe I should do fake lashes for the wedding…
Erica: The makeup was a little much for me but nice.
Kate: I think a lot of people are going to disagree with me here, but I like the messy updo. A lot.
Erica: I like it in and of itself (although I will always like her better as a redhead, and in any event, that color is way too harsh for her), but I don’t like it with that particular dress.
Kate: And you know, I like the idea of the dress, but wouldn’t it have been great as a strapless red number WITHOUT the beaded turtleneck cape/shrug thing? They are separate pieces, right?
Erica: Well, then it wouldn’t have been the look she was going for. I don’t like it for the Emmys or for a person her age (she needs about 20 more years before that’s a good look) but I think without the shrug, it’s just another red mermaid dress.
Kate: I seem to recall her having very odd red carpet looks before, though, so I think this is the step in the right direction.
Kate: That color again! Is it the color of the night?
Erica: I think we just like that color.
Kate: (It looked very similar to Amy Schumer’s on the pre-show, but not so much in pictures.) The ridiculously yellow neon nails AND shoes ALMOST ruin it, but everything else is flawless. Love the long loose waves, love the dress. The material looks so flawless.
Erica: I like it. I even like the shoes/nails as a contrast color. I usually hate Laverne Cox’s red carpet looks, and I’m happy to see her in something simple but still interesting, with great hair and makeup.
Kate: Eh, no.
Erica: I saw her first on stage, not on the red carpet, so my first thought about the dress was that she was carrying it weird. But then I loved her hair and make-up. And I decided I like the dress.
Kate: She usually takes pretty big risks on the red carpet, but I think this would have worked as a more slinky number and not a huge poofy skirt. The color is great, but it’s overall a little too overwhelming for me.
Erica: I don’t know; more slinky would have been more normal/boring. I don’t know that I LOVE this dress, but I like the overall look on her. Also, she was robbed. (Was she robbed? She lost, right?) She was magical on GoT this season.
Kate: Oh it’s so weird seeing Arya in a strapless bubblegum pink gown!
Erica: Aw, she should get to feel pretty sometimes!
Kate: I mean, I think she looks nice, but nothing about this really stands out to me.
Erica: It’s a cute dress, but it needs to be a couple of inches shorter, and while I understand why she might want to put furry shoes with it, I don’t think it looked right, and the heel was too chunky. But hey. She only gets to girl it up some of the time.
Kate: She also always kind of looks a hot mess on the red carpet, particularly dress length-wise, but I don’t think she actually really cares at all.
Erica: She most definitely 100% does not care at all. This might actually be the nicest I’ve seen her look on the red carpet.
Kate: I also see some way-too-chunky shoes underneath that — shudder — fringe.
Erica: Absolute perfection. One hundred percent doing everything right.
Kate: Very Lupita. Perfect color on her, flawless makeup (despite the weird facial expressions in the photo). Best dressed nominee, certainly best dressed OITNB cast member!
Erica: Yes, very Lupita. Which is a compliment of the highest order.
Kate: That’s a great dress, but what is she 36 now?
Erica: Yes. That is exactly the age she should be when wearing that dress.
Kate: She dresses way older than she needs to, and that haircut and super-dark makeup make it even worse. She should take a page out of Ariel Winter’s style book.
Erica: See, I’ve liked previous Ariel Winter looks better than tonight.
Kate: Also don’t love the earrings and matching bracelet (which is halfway up her arm?) with that dress, kind of cheapens it. Also feel like we’ve actually seen this dress before? Maybe on Tina Fey?
Erica: Yeah, I was trying to figure out if this was a Covet dress or something. It looks really familiar.
Kate: On second (or third or fourth) thought, I do like how the shoulder straps continue as one long horizontal strap in the back. Sexy. But, too sexy on her?
Erica: I think it’s just too old. She looked cute at the afterparty. (Still with a bracelet halfway up her forearm for some reason, but it looks cuter there.)
Kate: That is the least amount of cleavage I’ve ever seen on Sofia Vergara on the red carpet.
Erica: That is probably a true observation.
Kate: Also, not a mermaid bottom? A slightly underwhelming choice for her but, Jesus Christ, she’s a smokeshow no matter what. Her talking about her perfume to Ryan Seacrest during the pre-show was quite entertaining.
Erica: According to Julie Bowen, she is basically her character.
Kate: Ugh, no no. This is pretty bad.
Erica: There are some things I like conceptually about this dress, but man, were those concepts executed terribly.
Kate: The asymmetrical neckline is awkward, the color is just OK, the length and ruffle at the bottom are dreadful, and the matchy-matchy shoes? Terrible. I also don’t like the flapper hairstyle but I know that’s like, “in”, right now.
Erica: Hair and makeup are the least offensive things happening. Look, if you are blond and pale, you need to be careful about yellow. That is all.
Taraji P. Henson
Kate: So she looks pretty sexy, I’ll give her that. But the chain straps? Come on. So tacky. Why are these on more than one person tonight?
Erica: I thought hair and makeup were flawless and I really should be watching Empire, I think, but I did not like the dress and also thought it hung weird on her boobs.
Kate: Is the skirt all fringe? Not a fan. Also not a fan of the very dark purple/blue eyeshadow — too much. Great bob, though.
Erica: I only saw the makeup on stage where it looked terrific.
Kate: Morticia Addams. No.
Erica: She’s so cute. Why doesn’t she dress/style herself like a cute person? Why does she wear dreadful dresses and slick back her hair all weird?
Kate: She really loves that black-and-white fancy waitress look, doesn’t she?
Erica: I really don’t like that look. At all. I think I’m on the record on this issue.
Kate: I mean I think she looks very nice but it’s not thrilling me.
Erica: Look, if she and Amy would host again, the two of them could wear whatever they wanted and I’d say nothing but nice things about it. Andy Samberg is…Not my favorite.
Kate: Similar neckline and hair to Danielle Brooks’ but it works a lot better on Uzo.
Erica: She looked good and was very charming in her acceptance speech. Wait, did she beat Lena Headey? Then maybe Lena Headey did not get robbed. Although, now that I’m thinking about it, while Uzo Aduba’s portrayal of Crazy Eyes is quite fabulous all of the time, this wasn’t a particularly great season for her character the way it was for Lena Headey’s.
Kate: No, Uzo won supporting, Viola Davis won lead. I think I would like this dress a lot more without the black in the middle (or is that navy blue?), but she overall looks very lovely.
Erica: I don’t like the dress, but she looks good in it. I feel about it the way I feel about almost all of the dresses tonight — it’s fine. It’s not my thing but it’s fine.
Kate: Ummm why have we not seen her on the red carpet with her fellow OITNB nominees before? She looks incredible!
Erica: Oh! It took me a minute to figure out who she was! She looks cute!
Kate: What a fun, high fashion, couture dress. I want to not like the ponytail with it but I think it really all works very well.
Erica: Yeah, that’s messy updo done well. And the dress is fun, if a little bit heavy-looking.
Kate: Alas, best dressed?
Erica: How do we even pick when this was a night of meh? My personal fave was probably Allison Janney. But she is also my personal fave person. Samira Wiley probably deserves it most.
Kate: Or Ellie Kemper? Worst dressed?