Emmys 2013

Erica: Boy, you guys didn’t even get a chance to miss us, did you? “So You Think You Can Dance” ends, and not two weeks later, we’re going to criticize Cat Deely’s outfit again!

Kate: And criticize we must!

Cat Deely

Erica: Hair? Good. Make-up? Fine. Dress? Almost as bad as anything she wore on the show. Except the glittery jumpsuits. That’s always the worst.

Kate: This would have been completely acceptable without that weird flap in the middle.

Erica: Oh, and guess who else was there?

Mary Murphy

Erica: Hey there!

Kate: Um, is that velvet?

Erica: She looks fine. Her hair looks weird. But not moreso than usual.

Kate: Amazingly enough, this is quite understated compared to her usual look. Do not approve of the hair, not many people can pull off those vintage waves.

Erica: We can even critique a couple of dance numbers if you like, but all I have to say about either of them is, awesome!

Kate: Um except for the fact that even though 10 million (or 5) SYTYCD choreographers were nominated for best dance (yes, that is an Emmys category, haters!) and the STUPID Dancing with the Stars dance WON! So not happy about that!

Erica: I know, right? Something’s wonky about that. But I think I spotted Melanie in the chorus line! Okay, I can be done talking about “So You Think You Can Dance” for the year; how about “Mad Men”?

Christina Hendricks

Erica: Talk about someone who just won the crap out of the genetic lottery.

Kate: Seriously, unreal. She is a best dressed nominee, she’s just so friggin’ phenomenal I can’t stand it.

Erica: Not only does she get to look like that, but she’s bright and funny and seems so nice and cool. There’s got to be some flaw somewhere, right?

Kate: No, she’s an angel. Like Adele but without the voice.

Erica: She said to Ryan Seacrest or possibly Giuliana Rancic that she picked the dress because it reminded her of a John Singer Sargent painting. (This one, by the way:)

and I just kind of swooned.

Kate: She is a zillion times more beautiful than the woman in this painting.

Erica: My point is she knows what this painting is and uses it as a reference point in her style choices.

January Jones

Kate: FRUMP! FRUMP! FRUMP! For once in my January-Jones-hating life, I can say the broad actually looks frumpy.

Erica: I didn’t totally hate it. I mean, compared to some of her other stuff.

Kate: Horrible color, silhouette does nothing for her stupid body, and she can’t pull off that hair like Christina can. No siree Bob.

Erica: She does seem like an entirely unpleasant person, though. Maybe she’s just socially awkward.

Elizabeth Moss

Erica: I love her, I really do. But I do not like the blonde. And I am never a big fan of black and white color blocking.

Kate: Ditto, ditto and ditto – I recently saw her on “Watch What Happens Live” and am equally horrified and excited by her Housewives obsession, so I do like her as a person, but someone (maybe Andy Cohen) has got to tell her to get rid of the blonde. I agree about the color, but had it been all black and sparkly, it would have been too black and sparkly, and had it been all white, it would have been too bridal, like what Malin Akerman wore. So, sorry Elizabeth, but you just lose all around.

Kiernan Shipka

Erica: Aw! Little Kiernan is growing up! You can tell because it’s the first time I don’t like what she’s wearing!

Kate: What! I think this is adorable. I would actually love each pattern as its own separate dress, and I think her hair and makeup are perfectly wonderful.

Erica: Yes, her hair and make-up are good. And yes, either would be a great separate dress, but together, I do not like. Okay, let’s talk about “Modern Family”.

Sofia Vergara

Erica: looks exactly like she always does.

Kate: Yes, she has worn this exact thing about 1039 times in about 148 colors, with the exact same hair and makeup, and I’m over it. OVER. IT.

Erica: Did you hear Julie Bowen talking about her with Ryan Seacrest or possibly Giuliana Rancic? Apparently, Sofia is not acting in “Modern Family.” They just give her the script and then she reads it as herself and they say, “Perfect. That’s a wrap.”

Kate: No, but that’s impressive, but I continue to hate on her.

Erica: Julie Bowen was pretty funny imitating her speech. Speaking of . .  .

Julie Bowen

Erica: You know what? Fine. Fine, Julie Bowen. It’s not as horrible as some of your other choices. So fine.

Kate: No, not fine, this is sooo Charlize Theron at the Oscars or Golden Globes a few years ago, and Julie Bowen ain’t no Charlize.

Erica: And also I think you are very beautiful and absolutely hilarious.

Kate: Also, cap sleeves? Seriously?

Erica: Also, are all the actors on “Modern Family” considered “supporting”? Why is that?

Kate: I’m not sure, I still haven’t given that show enough of a chance.

Sarah Hyland

Erica: Don’t love the make-up, and I’m never big on severe hair, but the dress is fab.

Kate: Eh, she bores me.

Ariel Winter

Erica: Don’t much care for it. She’s a lot younger than that dress. But it’s fine. Plus isn’t she going through some serious family stuff?

Kate: What? We are so off today, I absolutely adore this, I kind of want it for myself.

Aubrey Anderson-Emmons

Erica: Squee!

Kate: I, like, wore that when I was 5.

Erica: Hey, where my “Girls” at?

Kate: . . .

Erica: Sorry, I had to.

Lena Dunham

Erica: I try very hard to judge these looks on  what they’re trying to accomplish and whether or not they do . . . I just don’t know. I don’t know what it is she was trying to accomplish. Hipster glam? “I know I’m not as pretty as these other women so fuck it?”

Kate: I think it’s an improvement from her usually pretty sloppy look at these things, but it looks like she is wearing an actual petticoat under there, and I don’t like how she matched her eye shadow to the dress. Too much.

Erica: I did love her and Claire Danes together basically ignoring the presence of Ryan Seacrest and giggling together. That was nice.

Kate: You said you weren’t going to watch the pre-show, and you did! I missed it! Mean to me!

Erica: And here I watched it because you guilted me about not doing so!

Allison Williams

Erica: Correct me if I’m wrong, but . . . isn’t this the same dress Jennifer Aniston wore in red to the Oscars?

Kate: No, there is an obvious difference at the top of the dress. Duh. But Allison is lovely, and her hair is great, and I hope she continues to put on a few more pounds, but her dress bored me. Awesome color, not enough style.

Erica: You didn’t like Jennifer’s either.

Zosia Mamet

Erica: You know what? I’m not going to complain. She likes to look like a whackadoo and she does and good job to her.

Kate: I just wish the black strapless leather bra were not on the OUTSIDE of the dress.

Erica: Meanwhile, why is Jemima Kirke never around?

Kate: She was at the VMAs!

Erica: Sure, the awards show you covered without me. So our other two HBO faves, “Veep” and “Game of Thrones” represented, although “Veep” has a limited cast and not too many of the “Game of Thrones” ladies showed up.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus

Erica: Did she spend so much time on Seinfeld with the poofed up hair that now she wants it as flat as possible? I’d like to see a little more volume.

Kate: I mean, probably. I would like to see her hair up every now and then, or really short like Selina’s, but otherwise this is perfect perfect perfect.

Erica: Otherwise, she looks fabulous.

Anna Chlumsky

Kate: Ok so I also recently saw HER on “Watch What Happens Live” and she is ALSO a huge Housewives fan. Weird, right?

Erica: Not at all weird. The Housewives are cracktastic. She’s a very attractive woman. She could probably do better.

Kate: I love her hair and makeup. The color of the dress is ok, but the sides are weird and the bottom looks like it wasn’t tailored at all.

Lena Headey

Kate: Ahem, Cersei looking a little slutty!

Erica: Yeah, this isn’t so much my thing.

Kate: I do like her with dark hair, but the dress doesn’t do anything for me. The white pumps make me gag.

Emilia Clarke

Erica: Not bad.

Kate: Oh I’ve seen her look much better than this – it kind of looks like she just decided to go to the Emmys that morning.

Erica: Yeah, it does.

Connie Britton

Erica: Hayden didn’t show up, but Connie did. But honestly, she needs a new stylist. The dresses never fall right on her figure and they always look . . . second-rate? I don’t know. She never looks like as much of a star as she is.

Kate: Her hair does! This dress is a little too curtainy for me – again, is that VELVET?! – but she’s Connie. I will not speak negatively.

Mindy Kaling

Erica: Awesome. Love it.

Kate: WHAT?! This disappointed me so much. She has gorgeous hair, why is it up? The color is ok for her, but I hate that thing at the top.

Erica: I liked it.

The Deschanel Sisters

Erica: I like that Zooey is moving away from her costume-y, quirky looks. And that’s a good color on her.

Kate: Omg I love love love love love the Deschanel sisters they are so freakin’ precious!

Erica: I wish Emily would dress like the young and striking woman she is. Who styled her? Did she get her mixed up with Rue McClanahan? Which, I mean, Rue McClanahan was fabulous, but Emily Deschanel is thirty-six. She doesn’t have to dress like that.

Kate: Yeah, they both look a little 90s pageanty to me, but I like that they coordinated wearing icy blue dresses. Also, Zoe’s hair is absolutely PERFECT. Why couldn’t I look like that with bangs?

Alyson Hannigan

Kate: Woo woo woo team Buffy! Did you know there’s a new SMG show with Robin Williams and it’s premiering this week? I am so watching.

Erica: I did in fact know that. I don’t know if I’m watching. Sarah Michelle Gellar and advertising? Woohoo! Robin Williams . . . I don’t know.

Kate: Anywho, I think she looks adorable. What a great color. I may have done something different with my hair, and the dress may be a little too big a deal for her, but she’s Willow!

Erica: I love the color. It was popular last night. As was ’40s-glam hair.

Claire Danes

Kate: I do not like the faux bob. Or the weird boobs.

Erica: No boobs, I think, is the issue; otherwise this dress would have been cute. But why is it “faux”? Is it tucked under or something?

Kate: Yes, it’s this weird stylist trick which I am not a fan of. The bottom of the dress/general material is ok, but my goodness from the chest up she looks all wrong. And stand up straight, Angela!

Carrie Underwood

Kate: I only want to include her because I am embarrassed for her and her “Yesterday” tribute. I have recently become a fan of hers, but she just did not sound right covering it.

Erica: I like a couple of her songs but I don’t like her enough to be excited that she’s going to be Maria in some sort of “Sound of Music” revival? And how often last night she mentioned her nerves at memorizing lines?

Kate: The dress is o-kay. Too big, I think. Very similar to Alyson’s.

Rose Byrne

Kate: I know she wasn’t nominated for anything but I wanted to include her because a) she looks FAB U LOUS and b) she’s the wife of Bobby Cannavale, the CRAZY man on the last season of “Boardwalk Empire” AND a character in that depressing-but-very-good Blue Jasmine movie (crap, I have to write a review for that). Who knew!?

Erica: Wow, we are out of sync. I hate this dress.

Sarah Silverman

Kate: The two minutes of the preshow I actually caught included a neck-up shot of Sarah, at which point I thought she looked absolutely phenomenal. She is quite pretty, especially when she dresses up. But then I saw the length of this dress, which is totes inappropes for an awards show, and the weird pumps, so I felt less ecstatic about the look.

Erica: She said something about the dress being $60 on TV. I want to tell actresses, when the dress looks like it was $60, it’s nothing to brag about. But she’s Sarah Silverman. She’s not playing by the same rules.

Heidi Klum

Kate: I think it’s safe to say that Ms. Klum has indeed lost her touch.

Erica: I think she is a stunning woman but I don’t know that I ever like how she chooses to dress for formal occasions.

Kate: Well, honestly, she hasn’t looked THAT great at an awards show in a while. And her outfit choices on “America’s Got Talent” are less than stellar.

Erica: She does go nuts on Halloween, though.

Julianne Hough

Kate: Um, why am I able to see her Spanx?

Erica: I like that she usually has something interesting on, but this is not a good look. And finally, these ladies are apparently in talks to host the Golden Globes again. I’m crossing my fingers.

Kate: Yes!

Amy Poehler

Erica: I liked it better during the telecast than in this pic, but I like it. She’s always just a little fashion forward and interesting.

Kate: This confused me – when she was sitting down heckling NPH (great bit, by the way), I thought it was a skirt and shirt combo, so I was like ‘Um, uh oh’, but then I saw it was a full dress. The things on the side have to go, and I normally don’t like cap sleeves or mock turtlenecks, and certainly not put together, but on her? It’s fine. Hair and makeup and earrings are FAB, though.

Tina Fey

Erica: Well, va-va-voom, Tina.

Kate: Yes, excellent! The only change I might have made to this is putting her hair up – loosely – but what a great cut and color. (PS where is her purse? Does she not need to carry anything to award shows?)

Erica: And I just want to say, I didn’t put a picture of him up because he’s a boy and who cares? But Neil Patrick Harris is a national treasure. He should host everything ever and be on every TV show all the time.

Kate: I think he did a swell job, but not my favorite host of all time.

Erica: Well, I don’t know. Between him, Tina, and Amy…We should send them as ambassadors to, like, North Korea and Iran and whatnot. Have them laugh everyone into putting the nuclear weapons down.

Kate: No need, Dennis Rodman is on it

Kate: So best dressed goes to…CHRISTINA HENDRICKS!

Erica: Best in the world goes to Christina Hendricks.

Kate: And worst dressed goes to…

Erica: I don’t know, everyone was playing it pretty safe tonight. I’ve got to say, I just breezed through all of “Scandal” and LOVED it, but what Kerry Washington was wearing tonight was pretty much not okay.

Kate: Agreed, but worst might have to go to someone we didn’t even mention above but I did manage to see a ridiculous picture of…

Amanda Peet

SYTYCD Season X – FINALE!!!

Erica: It is the end.

Kate: (To the tune of “Edge of Glory”, because that’s been stuck in my head) This the end, the end, the end, the end, the end!

Erica: At the end of the night, we will crown Amy and Fik-Shun the winners, but let’s see how we’ll spend time until then.

Kate: Rightfully so!

Cat’s Outfit

Erica: Her hair is a lot blonder, right? I don’t like it.

Kate: At least it’s nicely straightened; I’m starting to get back into that look, because my hair looks so ratty when I don’t do that to it.

Erica: Also, you thought Paula Abdul’s hair required monstrous amounts of hairspray last time? Whoa baby.

Kate: I had to take three steps back when they showed her hair. Good lord.

Erica: Adam Shankmann, good to see you! Can we see you choreograph?

Kate: Ugh!

Erica: The montage thing – montages always make me sentimental. You could chop together footage of virtually anything, set it to a power to ballad, and I’ll be all “Aw, I love you guys! Sniff!”

Group Routine: “Wonderwall” by Paul Anka, choreo by Season 2’s Ivan Kournaev

Erica: So, as it turns out, Paul Anka? Not just the dog on “Gilmore Girls”.

Kate: I do not know how I feel about this song in this style.

Erica: I kid, I kid. For those of you who don’t know, Ivan was Allison’s partner back in Season 2, and this routine of theirs totally made me cry at the time. (Also how cute is it when they giggle about “intimacy”? I normally don’t include rehearsal footage in my video links, but I just kind of had to.)

Kate: That was before I started watching the show.

Erica: I thought this routine was fun but not outstanding. I did like the song. I am a sucker for songs I know covered by artists of different genres. I won’t even tell you how excited I got the first time I heard “Rainbow Connection” by Kermit the Frog as covered by Me First and the Gimme Gimmes. Also this explains why a cappella appeals to me so much.

Kate: I thought it was pretty great, you know I love giant group routines.

Erica: Okay, so now, the judges – Paula Abdul, Nigel, Mary, Adam, and tWitch – each get to pick a dance, and also we’ll be counting down auditioners, and the top four get to pick, and Cat gets to pick but I want to rescind her picking because she likes disco too much, and also some other routines get thrown in. So here we go!

Paula Abdul’s Pick: Paul & Makenzie – Contemporary: “Edge of Glory” from the Lady Gaga live Thanksgiving special; choreo by Mandy Moore

Erica: I was so relieved to see Mak again. I’m hoping she becomes an all-star; she’s so pretty. And this is one of the few routines where she’s not being sexy.

Kate: This is why the song has been in my head. Yes, I am happy to have her back, but doesn’t she seem, like, totally removed from the show now?

Erica: I did love how Paula Abdul was all, “This dance will show us that love really IS the answer to all the struggle in the world today,” and you’re like, “Yeah, Paula. These two pretty teenagers dancing will TOTALLY fix Syria. Assad’s just gonna lay his weapons down tonight.”

Kate: Oh, that’s what she was referring to?

Erica: Anyway, I thought they did better with this the first time. Mak had a weird energy tonight and the movements seemed more rushed and sharp than the first time.

Kate: Why are you calling her Mak?

Erica: Um . . . because that’s what I call her in my notes and now that’s how I think of her? Sorry, did I just reveal too much of my process?

Memorable Auditioner #5: Mongolian bowl dancer

Erica: I mean, the dance is pretty cool. But they all seem to be stuck on the fact that, when the dancer is trying to explain that the bowl is traditionally full of horse milk, it kinda sounds like she’s saying “whore’s milk,” and we’re apparently just going to get a lot of the judges saying “Whore’s milk?” over and over and then giggling. Good use of time, guys. Thanks for that.

Kate: Yea not amused.

Jasmine’s Pick: Jazz with Season 8’s Marko: “Blurred Lines” by Robin Thicke; choreo by Ray Leeper

Erica: So, I appreciate when she says that she chose the dance that pushed her the most, the same way I appreciated it last week when she chose an all-star and a style outside her comfort zone. I like that about her. That said, this was not a number I thought was particularly spectacular from her and I’d have liked to pick another one.

Kate: True, but she did much better with it this time. I mean, you can’t LEARN swag, but she was way more energetic and sharp.

Adam Shankmann’s Pick: Twitch & Fik-Shun – Hip-Hop: “Hello Good Morning” by Diddy Dirty Money; choreo by Luther Brown

Kate: YES YES YES YES YES!!!

Erica: Good choice, good choice. Adam appears to also be under the delusion that this show will fix Syria.

Kate: I LOVE THIS DANCE SO MUCH!

Erica: Fik-Shun appears even more confident tonight. Because he knows he’s won.

Kate: No, I think all the dancers are more energetic overall tonight because they know they’re no longer dancing for votes, they’re just dancing to dance.

Ad for movie Erica will not be seeing (but Kate sure will – it’s got that guy from Lost!)

Dance by guys from movie Erica will not be seeing, with a song title/artist description far too long and confusing to be dignified here; choreo by Dave Scott

Erica: Zoe did the best dance to this. Although Jason was disturbed because, in the middle, she pulled her pants to her knees and wiggled her butt at us for a while. He thinks she’s going to become a stripper now. I haven’t been to many strip clubs, but to my knowledge they don’t usually giggle maniacally while waving their butts in your face and demanding to know whether or not you like their nak’dy butts.

Kate: She has such a great career in front of her.

Nigel’s Pick: Aaron, Alexis, & Curtis Tap, “You Really Did It” by Jason Mraz; choreo by Anthony Morigerato

Erica: Were these different costumes? If so, I liked them better.

Kate: I didn’t pay attention, because I hate that Nigel chose tap.

Twitch’s Pick: Hayley & Nico – Broadway: “Kiss of the Spider Woman” by Jeffrey Huard & Chita Rivera (Kiss of the Spider Woman – Cast Recording); choreo by Sean Cheesman

Erica: This was a pretty good routine. And they nailed it again.

Kate: Agreed. She is great.

Erica: Seriously that move where he hauls her over his shoulder with her leg perfectly straight up? How does she not pull something?

Memorable Auditioner #4: Stuttering Shane

Erica: Isn’t it bad that they made the word for “stutter” a word that’s easy to stutter on?

Kate: Aw, poor guy.

Aaron’s Pick: Contemporary with Kathryn: “I’m Kissing You” by Des’ree; choreo by Stacey Tookey

Kate: God I love this song.

Erica: See, this is where I’m like, if Kathryn loves dancing with him that much, he must be pretty good.

Kate: Wrong, she’s a dancer AND an actress.

Top Ten Boys: “Sand” by Nathan Lanier feat. Karen Whipple; choreo by Christopher Scott

Erica: I don’t know that anyone specific picked this; it seemed to just appear. Hallelujah. I love this routine.

Kate: Wait why did this happen again? I would have preferred a new top ten boys routine, even though this one was good.

Erica: Christopher Scott is my new favorite.

Memorable Auditioner #3: Anthony the Tiny from Texas

Erica: Kid’s pretty cute.

Kate: Not as cute as Zoe.

Cat’s Pick: Jasmine & Comfort – Hip-Hop: “Run The World (Girls)” by Beyoncé; choreo by NappyTabs

Erica: Okay, I’m sorry, Cat, you deserve a choice. This was pretty fab. Again.

Kate: I can’t get enough of this song.

Erica: So it was at this point that President Obama broke into the program. And I was like, dude, what are you so worried about? Paula and Adam and some teenaged reality show contestants have got this Syria thing COVERED. We’re going to bomb them…with LOVE. And DANCE.  It’s totes taken care of, Mr. President. Go snuggle with your wife.

Kate: I was on the phone with Mom during this stupid interruption. She was relieved the speech didn’t interrupt Jeopardy.

Erica: Anyway, the issue is, I wasn’t watching live. I was trying, but certain forces in my life were preventing me. So I did my best to record the end of this but I ended up with a huge gap. And seriously, FOX, when sh!t like this happens, send the message to the DVRs that the show is going to be longer. Or, srsly, DVRs, make that not only possible but easy-peasy for networks to do. ‘Kay? Thx. Bye.

Kate: I was watching live, so I was able to see it all.

Memorable Auditioner #2: Stripper Dude Performs Private Lap Dance for Mary

Erica: I’ll own up – until I saw this audition, I thought watching male strippers was a kind of icky experience. But this dude may have changed my mind.

Kate: Watching male strippers with Mary Murphy is ALWAYS a great experience.

Mary’s Pick: Tucker & Robert – Contemporary: “Medicine” by Daughter; choreo by Travis Wall

Erica: Unsurprising pick, lovely dancing.

Kate: They complement each other very well.

Top Twenty: Hip-Hop: “Puttin’ On The Ritz” by Herb Alpert feat. Lani Hall; choreo by NappyTabs

Erica: Ridiculous amounts of squee-ing from me. Again.

Kate: Again, why was this shown, again? Couldn’t we do a new top 20 routine?

Erica: This also wasn’t anyone’s pick; it just appeared. Y’all should pick more group numbers. What about that one where they, like, dove into the big mountain on stage? That was cool. BTW, have you seen this, Kate?

Kate: No! She is so pretty.

Erica: Okay, then they review the episode where the all-stars choreographed and we get:

Jenna & Season 4′s Mark Kanemura – Jazz: “I Am The Best” by 2NE1

Erica: I don’t think she was mouthing this time, Kate.

Kate: I still think it was an atrocious routine, and I can’t believe I was forced to witness it again.

Erica: Then Amy and Fik-Shun picked the same one:

Amy & Fik-Shun – Hip-Hop: “After Party” by Dorrough Music; choreo by NappyTabs

Erica: And as much as I like this routine and them doing it, I must say that I kind of disrespect the choice. This dance was the one they were practically designed to do, the one they could have done blindfolded when they arrived in Las Vegas. I really like that Jasmine wanted to choose something that stretched and changed her; these two, as awesome as their comfort zone is, don’t want to leave it.

Kate: But this was probably their best, and I was THRILLED they picked this.

Erica: It was still a lot of fun to watch.

Kate: Duh!

Erica: AND THEN THE MOST AMAZING THING HAPPENED ON MY TV SCREEN YOU GUYS. I STILL HAVEN’T FULLY PROCESSED IT. IT WAS . . .

NIGEL & MARY & A SURPRISE GUEST: “Let’s Get It On” by Marvin Gaye

Erica: My life is now awesome.

Kate: I know, this is the best thing the show has ever done.

Erica: It was awesome from the moment Nigel and Mary hit the dance floor. But THEN Adam Shankmann joined them!!!!  Seriously, I don’t know now what else to hope for.

Kate: I only wish Adam had been on the stage longer, what a tease!

Memorable Auditioners #1: Random Duo Called Movement Box?

Erica: They did a thing to “This Life” by Gene Shinozaki. It was pretty cool. One of the beatboxes and the other dances and it’s cool. I don’t know what else to say about it.

Kate: I don’t remember them at all from auditions?

Erica: No me neither but I didn’t watch the auditions. I did, however, see a one-man beat-box show by the husband of a professor at UIC whose classes I never took but totally should have. And then the people have chosen:

Amy & Travis Wall – Contemporary: “Wicked Games” by James Vincent McMorrow

Erica: Yup. Good. Again. Nice job, guys.

Kate: Oh Travviiisssssssssssssssssssssssss.

Erica: And then I’m missing whatever happened between that and the announcement of the winners. Thanks, NObama. I’m not voting for you anymore.

Kate: Well, that’s unfortunate, because you missed what I thought was the highlight of the night, BESIDES the glorious Mary Murphy/Nigel dance:

Top 10 & All-Stars – Jazz/Hip-Hop?: “Rock Lobster (District 78 Remix)” by the B52s; choreo by NappyTabs?

Kate: I think NappyTabs choreographed this, even though Cat didn’t announce it, because I saw some tweets from them about the end-of-summer routine in the finale. This was an adorable 60s beach scene dance which I absolutely 100% want to perform, like, now.

Erica: Okay it’s up on YouTube this morning. That was pretty damn fabulous. Although I think I like last year’s better. But whatever, I am FULLY in favor of a yearly Top 10 + All-Stars Nappy Tabs routine. Boy, I sure have come around on them, haven’t I?

Kate: Naturally, as they are the best choreographers on this show, with the exception of my love Travis.

Erica: So, in a move that surprised NO ONE, not even Jasmine, who was making a face like, “Just say Amy’s name already, Cat,” Amy and Fik-Shun win this thing. Good job, guys. Jasmine, Mak, Malece, and maybe Nico and Tucker? Hope to see you again. And Paul. He’d be fine, too.

Kate: Thank goodness America came to its senses, in one respect, anyway! I’d like to give a special shout-out thank you to our loyal readers of this blog, who definitely know they can dance: Anna P., Colleen S., Kelly E., Nicole G., Raina P., and Whitney L. Thank you for reading and commenting, guys!

Erica: And also my friend Nicole R-S! Thanks for the support!

SYTYCD Season X – Top 4 Perform

Opening Number

Kate: No opening number again?! Not cool Fox.

Erica: Don’t they know group numbers are what we like best?

Cat’s Ensemble

Kate: Eh….

Erica: It felt like a good idea that went bad in the execution.

Kate: I mean, at first I liked the hair and dress, but up close she looked a little crazy. Perhaps she is just not aging well?

Erica: Oh, geez, Kate.

Kate: On the other hand, holy moly those shoes. Those are SO Carrie Bradshaw, and NOT in a good way.

Erica: I actually sort of love the shoes, because they are insane, but just a little black dress with them would be fine. Kind of digging Paula Abdul’s hair, what do you think?

Kate: I generally oppose feathers, sorry. I do dig it, but the amount of hairspray it took to make it look like that makes me cringe.

Erica: Also, I’m confused. Was there no vote last week? And we get to vote on some pieces for next week? I don’t like that.

Kate: Yeah, I was wondering how tonight would be a “finale” since they changed the voting/elimination process at the beginning of the season.

Amy & Aaron – Jazz: “Primal” by Richard Vission and Luciana; choreo by Ray Leeper

Kate: Their costumes are freaking me out.

Erica: Yes. Especially his, actually. Because while hers is insane, at least it’s one look. He’s got the bizarre sex club black bands, and the earthy hippy vest, and pants that, like, my dad wears on casual Friday. WTF?

Kate: I really do not like him as a dancer. He is so clunky and awkward, basically the opposite of Amy.

Erica: I don’t have the problem with him you do. I think, on the continuum for dancers between strong and graceful, he’s definitely on the strong side, but I like him overall. But yeah, he’s not anywhere near as good as Amy, who is both insanely strong and insanely graceful.

Jasmine & Fik-Shun – Contemporary: “Spiegel im Spiegel,” by Vadim Gluzman & Angela Yoffe; choreo by Travis Wall

Kate: So this is the only realm where Fik-Shun really doesn’t shine, because he has to be serious and can’t show his wonderful charisma.

Erica: He looks like he can do the steps, but he doesn’t feel it in his body. He’s thinking, “Okay, now do the thing with my chest. Okay, now hold out my hand for her. Okay, now leap.” And he leaps well, and he does the thing with his chest well, and whatnot, but the motion is just not inside him in the way it should be.

Kate: You know I don’t normally like Jasmine, but she outshined him in this piece. He did some things very nice and clean, but like last week he looked too hesitant to really push himself into the style.

Erica: I just adore her. I think Amy will win, but I like Jasmine better. At the beginning it looked like he was holding her back. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Paula Abdul is judging but she’s also hosted another show that Fik-Shun was on? Isn’t that…No fair?

Kate: I had no idea what she was talking about – what show? Not Idol?

Erica: No, they said the name. I can’t remember now.

Aaron & Season 7’s Melinda – Tap: “When I Was Your Man” by Bruno Mars; choreo by Anthony Morigerato

Kate: Bruno Mars, Aaron, and tap. It’s like my worst SYTYCD nightmare.

Erica: Heeheehee.

Kate: I hated this. I really did. The taps sounded awful with the song, and not just because I hate Bruno Mars.

Erica: Yeah, I don’t know why they did a song at all. I know you CAN tap, and well, with actual music in the background, but you don’t HAVE to, and in this context, why would you?

Kate: Also, I watched season  7, and I have zero recollection of Melinda.

Erica: The more I look at her face, which is lovely, the more I think I remember it. But look, they haven’t had a lot of tappers. They had to find one. I would like someone to explain to me the logic behind her costume. She looks like a 15-year-old band geek who suddenly shot up five inches over the summer and now her skirt’s too short.

Kate: This has to have been one of, like, five times they’ve even done a tap number on this series, right?

Erica: Yeah, well, they don’t handle it all that well when they have it. I mean, I’m all for not losing tap; I like tap. But this wasn’t a good representation of it.

Jasmine & Comfort – Hip-Hop: “Run The World (Girls)” by Beyoncé; choreo by NappyTabs

Kate: It shocks and amazes me that my email spell checker knows to put that little accent on the “e” in “Beyoncé”.

Erica: That is fairly awesome.

Kate: This was very enjoyable for me, but only because of the song, NappyTabs and Comfort, not really because of Jasmine. Well, also because of their 90s grunge outfits.

Erica: I have to say, I respect her decision to choose to dance outside her own style. It’s saying, “I came to SYTYCD to do something different, and lookie, I can now.” And yes. Their outfits. Love.

Kate: But no, she can’t dance outside her own style very well. I just don’t think she ever loosens up or gets down low enough to do stuff like hip-hop, and that in turn makes her look sloppy and lazy. Especially next to someone like Comfort.

Erica: I thought Jasmine acquitted herself fairly well. She could get a little lower in her hips but I thought she looked good up there with Comfort and I loved the routine. Oh, my God, Nigel, do you have an Olympic athlete on the panel or something?

Amy & Fik-Shun – Tango/Paso Doble: “Hazardous Zero” by PP Music; choreo by Miriam and Leonardo

Kate: Um, I didn’t know you could combine the two genres?

Erica: I guess if you can combine any two ballroom styles, it’s those two.

Kate: Fik-Shun was better in this than the contemporary, I think, but still not as strong as I know he is/wish he could be in the performance finale.

Erica: These two have trouble looking hot together. She was very good but not particularly sexy; he looked awkward and little boyish, even though he didn’t, like, obviously screw up.

Kate: They did a great job with lifts, though, and Amy was flawless as usual.

Jasmine’s Solo: “Ready for Love” by India.Arie

Kate: Sorry I was distracted during this routine by my very macho male roommate/boyfriend singing along every word to this India.Arie song. ?!!?!

Erica: I am not surprised. Ian is quite the music aficionado.

Kate: She looked lovely in this, but I still like Amy a million times better.

Erica: I adore her. How does a person who looks like that and dances like that and has such a sweet personality lack confidence? I like her better than Amy. I think Amy is amazing. And she is so So You Think You Can Dance. But Jasmine? Oh, she’s just a dream to me.

Jasmine & Aaron – Samba: “Can’t Touch It” by Ricki-Lee; choreo by Dmitry Chaplin

Kate: Oh boy.

Erica: I still really like her.

Kate: Those dreadful 10 seconds when he just could not get her extra skirt thing off was so awkward and uncomfortable and awful – he did NOT recover well from a mistake.

Erica: Well, he might not have recovered well, but that’s also the costumer’s fault. And the outfit looked so much better without the extra skirt.

Kate: She, however, surprised me; I still think she needs to loosen up for some styles, but she shook it pretty good here. Not great, but good.

Erica: I could watch her all day. I defer to Mary Murphy always on ballroom, but I still enjoyed Jasmine’s performance in this one.

Fik-Shun’s Solo: “Gangnam Style” by Psy

Kate: I will never accept that fact that this song’s lyrics are not in fact “Open condom style”.

Erica: Ha!

Kate: I was disappointed that he chose this song, but he did a great performance. I very much want him to win.

Erica: He was mouthing the words, though.

Kate: Eh, only a little.

Erica: No, you’re right, he did really well with this.

Amy’s Solo: “Unchained Melody” by The Righteous Brothers

Kate: She edited the song really weird.

Erica: I love this song. She just used a very particular section. But the outfit was a weird choice.

Kate: It was beautiful, and she had great control over her legs, but she actually did a couple weird stomps in this that didn’t go with the rest of it.

Erica: I don’t think she’s as good at choreographing as Jasmine is. Which is not to say that her dancing isn’t amazing, but I just don’t like her choreo.

Fik-Shun & Season 4’s Twitch – Hip-Hop: “Hello, Good Morning” by Diddy Dirty Money; choreo by Luther Brown

Kate: Um, YES!

Erica: Yeah, this is what we pay for.

Kate: Not to agree with Nigel or anything, but it really was like Twitch and Twitch Jr.! Because of their height difference I really was thinking during the performance ‘It’s kind of like they’re father and son’.

Erica: I was thinking brothers, but okay. I was actually thinking about that number in Meet Me in St. Louis where Judy Garland performs with her total ham of a little sister. But, you know, with hip-hop.

Kate: OMG YES! Side note, I was just talking about that movie because our friends we visited in St. Louis have never seen the movie, so I am now forcing it upon them.

Erica: It’s the best. Well, not the best. But supremely enjoyable.

Kate: I almost almost almost think Twitch held back a little to let Fik-Shun shine, and that he did.

Erica: This was just a ton of fun. Loved it.

Kate: I do wish the routine was a little faster and really showed off both of their hip-hop skills, but that’s the fault of Luther Brown. They were really great together.

Erica: I liked the choreo. I didn’t need it faster. Also, can we please, PLEASE see Nigel and Paula Abdul dance together next week? That would make MY life awesome.

Aaron’s Solo: “You and I (Acoustic)” by Jason Mraz

Kate: No.

Erica: Just, we don’t need music for a tap routine. We just don’t.

Kate: Just, no.

Amy & Season 7’s Robert – Contemporary: “Say Something” by A Great Big World; choreo by Stacy Tookey

Kate: Oh man, I love watching Robert dance.

Erica: Oh, man, this storyline is one that gets me right where I live. And I loved the song. And I may or may not be a little teary-eyed.

Kate: They were obviously great together. I think her best moment on this show was her routine with Travis a couple weeks ago, and this wasn’t too far off.

Erica: This was amazing. Choreo, dancing, all of it. Amazing.

Fik-Shun & Aaron – Broadway: “The Jitters” by Big Bad VooDoo Daddy; choreo by Tasty Oreo

Kate: Do you see that, America? Can you tell the difference between someone who has clean, sharp, energetic movements versus someone who is sloppy and clunky and overall oafy but relies on a semi-decent personality?

Erica: Meh, I didn’t think either of them particularly shone, dance-wise, in this piece, so what we had left was two personalities, and Fik-Shun is just more bouncy.

Kate: Seriously, the difference between them is night and day. Fik-Shun MUST win.

Erica: Well, he will. But can we discuss? Has Broadway run out of songs? Is their a problem getting rights? What on earth is going on? This routine was strongly reminiscent of Gene Kelly’s “Gotta Dance” number in Singin’ in the Rain, or at least the on-the-street part of it…So we couldn’t set it to “Gotta Dance”?

Kate: I don’t know what’s going on with Broadway on this show, but this was my favorite in a while.

Erica: Paula, you’re responsible for releasing Tasty Oreo on the world? I’m not sure I wanted to know that about you. I still have a lot of “Opposites Attract” affection left for you.

Amy & Jasmine – Jazz: “The Diva Dance” by Eric Serra; choreo by Mark Kanemura

Kate: What the hell was that?

Erica: It was a routine from Gaga’s lead dancer.

Kate: Truly one of the most bizarre routines to appear on this show, and not in an awesome way like Sonya’s.

Erica: Well, I didn’t like Sonya at first, either. In all types of art, you can teach a wack job to pull back a little, but you can’t draw out wackiness from someone who doesn’t have it. I think what we’re seeing is Mark Kanemura before he’s learned to pull back and I think he’s got an interesting career ahead of him.

Kate: But…They actually looked pretty good together? Very in sync, very energetic, good kicks and leaps. What a pain in the arse it must have been to have that hula hoop around their waists the whole time, eh?

Erica: Yeah, I thought they did well. They are both terrific. I thought Amy had the slight edge over Jasmine in terms of acting here, but they were both so good.

Kate: Can we comment on the judges real quick?

Erica: I LOVE commenting on the judges.

Kate: They got a lot of stupid judges this season, meaning people who added NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING, to the dance conversation. Gabby, you’re great at flipping around and all, but saying “good job” to every dancer is not a critique. Paula, seriously, what happened to you? Did you have a stroke and lose certain speech functionality? And Carly Rae Jepsen? I can’t even.

Erica: Didn’t that happen to Paula a long time ago? I mean, they don’t have people like Gabby on because she’s going to be really good at critiquing dance; they have them on so Nigel can be all, “An Olympic athlete wanted to be on our show!!”

Kate: Wait, that really did happen to Paula? Now I feel bad. She just always sounds like she’s about to cry. And I prefer when they have fun celebrities on who – SURPRISE! – happen to have a dance background most people don’t about, like Christina Applegate.

Erica: No, not actually, I just mean that at “Idol” she had the reputation of being all loopy and weird and like maybe something had done some damage at some point. So her persona on this show is not new.

Kate: The finale is almost here, folks! Tune in next week to see who wins — I cast my votes, make sure you do the same!

Erica: I totally didn’t. But you should. But can I say something? Next year, let’s have only one winner, but let’s not commit ourselves to voting off one boy and one girl every week. Maybe for the first 5 weeks. But once we’re down to a top 10, let’s just vote off the two lowest regardless of gender. I mean, we already know they can choreograph dances for two members of the same sex, so who cares, right? And then we’ll be going purely on best dancer, not best boy and girl.

Kate: No, I like that they changed it to best boy and best girl, because the two genders do dance very differently.

Erica: I don’t know; Tucker and Jasmine dance pretty similarly. I think differences have more to do with genre. Anyway, it’s been a fabulous run, and I can’t wait to see all these people do their thing next week! Praying now that one of their favorite dances stars Makenzie! And/or Malece!