Becoming a Luddite

I’m giving it all up and becoming a Luddite.

I wake up this morning, energized and ready to go to the gym. I get dressed, I grab my gym card, my keys, and my iPod, and head out the door. I notice that one of the elevators appears to be shut down. The door is open and the inside is dark. I assume they’re doing work, as they do fairly often, so I press the button, assuming another elevator will arrive.

The button won’t light.

I figure maybe that elevator wasn’t shut down properly and the system expects me to get in it. I don’t want to get into a dark little box and expect it to safely carry me 34 floors. So I decide to walk down to the 33rd floor, where an elevator is not parked and waiting, and see what happens.

Nothing. The button won’t light.

I go back to my apartment and start my computer to look up the number for the doorman’s desk to find out what’s going on.

My internet’s down.

So now, because my phone is a VOIP, my phone doesn’t work, either. I’m stuck on the 34th floor of my apartment building with no way of communicating with the outside world. And it’s all specifically because of all of this technology that’s supposed to make our lives easier.

So I’m done. I’m moving to a farm in the middle of nowhere. I’m not having a phone, or electricity, or a computer. If you need me, write a letter.

(Obviously, if you are reading this, the problems have been solved and I’m back to being totally dependent on modern technology again.)