Motivation

So, as I posted on Facebook, I am having to deal this week with the fact that my 60-year-old father is in significantly better shape than I am. This has been true for a while – at least since he started Weight Watchers last year and probably before that – but this week, I’ve been dealing with it more viscerally because, while he’s been here, we’ve worked out together. Yesterday we walked in the Botanic Gardens and today we biked. He can go further faster than me without getting as winded or red-faced or sweaty, and what I consider a good work-out, he considers “warm-up.”

But. I will not allow this to shame me. I will not allow this to sink me into a pit of despair and pasta bowls the size of my kitchen table. I will allow this to motivate me instead! In fact, we have struck a deal this morning, since we have always been a bit competitive. The next time I am in NJ, which will be in December, we will take a pair of side-by-side elliptical machines at his gym, and whoever can go the furthest in an hour (or maybe 90 minutes if I have REALLY been working out hard and that no longer seems ridiculously daunting to me) wins!

(Wins what? We didn’t discuss. The joy of winning has always been enough for either of us.)

And, to stay motivated, I might do a daily or weekly post on this blog. I actually started another blog in January which was meant to keep weekly track of my weight/size and daily track of my food intake and exercise, but I didn’t keep it up, because 1) that’s daunting, and 2) I didn’t even tell my limited audience of you guys about it so the motivational effects were pretty nil. I’m not going to be that intense about it here because how boring for y’all but I’ll try to do some form of update.

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SYTYCD Season X – Top Six Perform

Erica: First of all, Miss Katie Boe, I have a bone to pick with you.

Kate: What?!

Erica: You did the VMAs without me!

Kate: It was spur of the moment, and I figured you didn’t watch the actual show.

Erica: I almost never watch the show! Can we do them together next year?

Kate: Certainly!

Erica: Okay, on to the show.

Opening Number –

Erica: Wait. There is no opening number. What’s going on here?

Kate: Yea, WTF mates?

Cat’s Ensemble

Erica: Dress? Fine. Vast improvement. Necklace? Fab. Want. Hair? My favorite. Nice job tonight, people who dress Cat!

Kate: Yes, she redeemed herself from last week, but I don’t like the awkward length of the dress.

Mary’s Ensemble

Kate: Sorry, need to comment because I kind of loved Mary’s hair and shirt tonight. Until she stood up and a I realized it was a dress.

Erica: Fair assessment. Okay, so they introduce the six dancers, and then we meet the judges – Hi, Jesse Tyler Ferguson! So nice to see you! I saw you on stage this summer in The Comedy of Errors but it was super rainy and we were kicked out of the theater and then we were let back in and then the sound was out and then it started raining again really hard and then everyone I was with wanted to leave so I left but you were great!

Kate: He’s such a cutie.

Erica: And now we’re getting the group number.

Group Number – African jazz; “Hlohonolofatsa” by Soweta Gospel Choir, choreo by Sean Cheesman

Erica: Now, see, I liked this. I think the costumes make a difference. Simple white costumes with no “ethnic” markers or “wild,” “primitive” accessories make this look beautiful to me instead of racist.

Kate: Yes to the costumes, but I thought the dance itself was a bit messy. I get that African Jazz may be less about being together and in sync than other styles, but everyone looked a little too sloppy for my taste.

Erica: Amy had her cheer face on a little too hard; her motions were more exaggerated than the rest of the group and it looked goofy. And I still miss Makenzie. But otherwise I really liked this; I thought it was beautiful.

Kate: I know, she’s got to stop with that, but then I noticed Fik-Shun was being cheer facey too.

Paul and Season 6’s Katheryn – Jazz, “Tied Up” by Yello, choreo by Tasty Oreo

Erica: Liked the dancing but not so much the choreo.

Kate: I loved this! They were very good together.

Erica: I also thought the design concept was weird. The judges kept going on about the skirt but I just thought there was a disconnect between the look chosen and the song.

Kate: I didn’t focus on the theme, JUDGES, just the dancing. Which I thought was swell.

Amy solo – “Anna’s Theme” from The Red Violin

Erica: Her movements are very frantic. I’m not sure it’s quite fitting with the song.

Kate: Check out her crazy back muscles, though!

Hayley & Season 4’s Joshua – Hip-hop, “Work Hard Play Hard” by Wiz Khalife

Erica: Wow, it’s been a while, Joshua. I almost forgot how sexy you and Katee were. (I’d post links but YouTube is being funny about it. Did a whole bunch of users have their Fox videos taken down? Is it my computer? I don’t know.) So level with us now – you guys were doin’ it, right? If not, you should have.

Kate: Joshua is too gangsta for Hayley.

Erica: The camera was very swoopy here. I found it annoying.

Kate: Yea cameras were going nuts tonight. What I mean by my previous comment is, she did not do a bad job at hip-hop, but next to Joshua she looked pretty silly.

Erica: See I liked the choreo here but thought the dance wasn’t quite . . . something. They didn’t seem together to me. Although maybe it was the swoopy camera.

Kate: No, it was her lack of hood-ness.

Erica: Were you excited to see Baby NappyTabs?

Kate: I….wasn’t paying enough attention to notice. *Bad Kate*

Erica: You know, Nigel said something about there is always criticism of who goes home and who stays but it all works out because what a talented top 6, and, you know, this top 6 is pretty good (I like Aaron more than you do, Kate), but I’m not really rooting for any of them. I miss Malece and Makenzie, and if either Nico or Tucker was still in the competition, I’d probably be rooting for him over any of these three. As it stands I suppose I favor Jasmine for the girls but it’s gonna be Amy, and I guess of these three, it’s Paul for the boys but it’s gonna be Fik-Shun. Although my reluctance to root for Fik-Shun has more to do with the judges and less to do with him.

Fik-Shun solo – “Look At Me Now” by Chris Brown feat. Li’l Wayne & Busta Rhymes

Erica: Do not approve the song choice – or, rather, artist choice – but damn this boy is good.

Kate: He is going to win.

Aaron and Season 8 winner Melanie – Broadway, “Faith” by George Michael, choreo by Spencer Liff

Erica: Seriously, Spencer Liff, what do you have against choreographing Broadway dances to Broadway tunes? Or is this song in some jukebox musical I am not yet aware of?

Kate: Seriously, I was like, ‘When was this song used in a Broadway show? How behind the times am I?’

Erica: I have to say, I liked this. And, um . . . Aaron’s arms . . .

Kate: No.

Erica: I know he dropped her. And that was bad. But . . .

Kate: No! He’s not that good, guys! He’s so not graceful and clunky, and you know how I said the all-stars had been bringing out the best in the contestants? That did NOT happen here. Ugh I am getting very angry at him.

Jasmine solo – “Amazing Grace” by Destiny’s Child

Erica: The title of the song was longer than that but it confused me and it sounded like “Amazing Grace” to me so that’s what I went with.

Kate: It’s the “outro” on their album “The Writing’s on the Wall’. Duh.

Erica: She’s so strong and so fluid. I really like her. And I love her mom.

Kate: She’s still not as good as Hayley, in my humble opinion.

Paul solo – “Mamba Negra” by Herecco

Erica: Fab. I think ballroom solos are easier for guys. Nigel’s probably very sad Paul never did a paso this season.

Kate: I love him, he’s so talented.

Fik-Shun and Season 9’s Witney – Foxtrot, “Sexy Silk” by Jessie J, choreo by Jonathan Roberts

Kate: Foxtrot is one word, huh?

Erica: Yeah. I don’t think we’ve seen this choreographer before. And I don’t mind if we don’t again. The dance was so focused on “Witney is a hot sexy mama!” that the parts that were actually foxtrot seemed tacked on. Which, I mean, I suppose watching it is still enjoyable, but then don’t call it the foxtrot. Call it something else that can be more easily tacked on to a “But Witney, seriously, hot, right?” number.

Kate: I noticed that too.

Erica: I wasn’t bothered by him much but if Ballroom Expert Mary Murphy says he didn’t do well, he didn’t do well.

Kate: He was extremely overpowered by Witney, but he didn’t look fumbly and awkward and like he was missing steps.  He seemed confident in a few things he was doing, and Mary was right about his lines being good, but then he kind of didn’t do everything he was supposed to.

Hayley solo – “Be Mine” by Robyn

Erica: I think hers was my favorite of the girls’ solos.

Kate: Because she’s the best girl!

Jasmine & Season ‘s Neil – Contemporary, “Unfaithful” from the Unfaithful soundtrack, choreo by Tasty Oreo.

Erica: Oh, good, and ISSUES piece.

Kate: Ha, I’m sorry, but I couldn’t get behind the hurricane thing. And I’m technically a “victim” of Sandy.

Erica: OMG, Tyce, you are, like, SO sensitive, you know? This pieces was, seriously, SO IMPORTANT. You, literally, you like, saved the world? With this dance? No more tsunamis, people! No more! Never forget to not let tsunamis happen and to prevent them with DANCE!

Kate:  Yeah, and there they go again being too literal with the dances and the “message” and the papers blowing all around them on the stage. Why can’t you portray “hurricane” to me without that crap?

Erica: I mean, they danced it beautifully. It’s just that I think Tyce is a version of The Girl At The Party You Wish You Hadn’t Started a Conversation With.

Aaron solo – “Use Me” by Bill Withers

Erica: Oh my goodness I could not watch one second of this because the camera angle was such that the bright spotlight over his head was right in my eyes. I’m sure he did fine.

Kate: Oh my goodness I hate tap. It sounds so bad. It just does not work on this show.

Amy & Season Never’s Alex – Bollywood, “Munni Badnaam Hui Darling” from the Dabangg Soundtrack, choreo by Nakhul Dev Mahajan

Erica: This was like the best Bollywood ever.

Kate: It sure was! She is perfect for Bollywood.

Erica: I mean, outside actual Bollywood.

Kate: Holy moly those knee turn things – my quads hurt just looking at them.

Hayley & Paul – Contemporary, “I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles)” by Sleeping At Last, choreo by Dee Caspary

Erica: So, first, this song. This was a nice arrangement of this song. I like it in its original form by The Proclaimers. And also we use that tune to do “Hinei Mah Tov” at my Hebrew School and the kids love it.

Kate: I couldn’t tell what the song was for a while.

Erica: Second thing, I think it was a little unfair that Hayley and Paul had to dance together while the other four got to be relinked with their original pairs.

Kate: ? But their original partners are gone.

Erica: Right, but they could have mixed all of them up. Amy dance with Paul or Aaron, Jasmine dance with Fik-Shun or Paul, and Hayley dance with whoever.

Kate: True. But Hayley and Paul were great together, and I was thrilled to see Amy and Fik-Shun back together.

Third thing, I usually really like Dee Caspary but tonight I didn’t find this piece particularly inspiring. Fine, but not as good as his stuff usually is. But Paul and Hayley did a beautiful job with it.

Kate: Yes, I didn’t feel particularly moved, but I thought they connected very well together because they are both very good dancers. They are the best on the show, but they won’t win.

Erica: How much did you love Jesse Tyler Ferguson mocking Carly Rae Jepsen?

Kate: Lots, she was the worst guest judge since Lil’ C.

Amy & Fik-Shun – Hip-hop, “Lemme See” by Usher feat. Rick Ross, choreo by David Scott

Kate: Looooooooooooooooooveee

Erica: Really, David Scott? Your inspiration is “Women be shoppin'”? Can we have another one in the key of “And men never stop to ask for directions!” Then maybe you can do one about airline food or mothers-in-law.

Kate: Shush, this was great.

Erica: I wasn’t terribly impressed with this number, although it was more the choreo than either of them. And my general state of annoyance.

Kate: No, I was so happy to see them back together, they are so together when they are together. He is SO GOOD at what he does.

Erica: And judges, seriously, what was with y’all on this one? Nigel, I’m SO GLAD you brought up Miley Cyrus because that is SO RELEVANT to anything that happened on stage (although I admit, for a hot second I thought Amy might start twerking (Yes, autocorrect, it’s a word, and I’m sad about that, too.)). Mary, the Tom Clancy quote? I like that quote (“The difference between fiction and real life is that fiction has to make sense.”) but what on earth did it have to do with anything? And Jesse Tyler Ferguson I love you so much but you were not “literally” blown away by anything tonight because look at you sitting right there and all in one piece.

Kate: Hey, no one has been able to not bring up Miley all week, and Mary was making a pun because of “fiction” and Fik-Shun, duh!

Aaron & Jasmine – Jazz, “Mirror Mirror” by Lord KraVen, choreo by Sean Cheesman

Erica: Now that Sean Cheesman is keeping his pec cleavage under wraps I’m going to start obsessing about his massive neck.

Kate: Ew!

Erica: I hated this. I mean, not them, not Aaron and Jasmine. Aaron’s arms continued to . . . um . . . impress me tonight (Hey, if Jesse Tyler Ferguson can have a crush on him, I can have a brief evening of attraction, Kate!) and I love his jumps, and Jesus H. Christ, Jasmine’s legs with the what in the hell did she do to make them go like that? But the choreo, the song, the look, everything. Hated.

Kate: Again, we are too literal with the songs and the dances and the “messages”, but this was one of their better routines for me. I still do not think he deserves to be here, though.

Erica: And then Hayley and Paul went home. I am sad but not particularly surprised. Actually I’m a little surprised Paul went home before Aaron.

Kate: I am once again appalled by America, but I admire both Hayley’s and Paul’s non-weepy reaction. They were just like, “Aright, see ya!”

Erica: Well, look, tWitch, who did not win his season, is the superstar forever of SYTYCD. And Joshua, who did win that season, just showed up again now. And Travis, who did not win his season, is a fabulous choreographer for SYTYCD, whereas we see Benji, who did win that season, like, almost never. Kathryn didn’t win her season. Allison didn’t win her season. At this point, making it this far, they will have careers. We are not to worry.

Kate: So help me god, America, if Aaron wins over Fik-Shun………………………..

Erica: That will not happen.

SYTYCD Season X – Top 8 Perform

Erica: Boo, hiss, no Makenzie.

Kate: Stupid horrible country.

Opening Number – Contemporary, “Move to the Ocean (Bauer Remix)” by Brick and Mortar; choreo by Mia Michaels

Erica: So the performers were dressed like they were in some kind of 19th century burlesque circus, which was awesome, and the dance was really quirky and cool and sharp and I totally loved it. And then Mia Michaels choreographed it so that was exciting. She hasn’t done any new dances for this show in forever.

Kate: I LOVED this. It was almost kind of like hip-hop a little?

Erica: And then Cat announced that the rest of the dances would be choreographed by the All-Stars and I was kind of like, “Is this an ego thing? Does Mia Michaels refuse to choreograph if her work is going to be shown alongside Sonya and Mandy and all the rest?” But that can’t be it, right?

Kate: Well, she is Mia.

Erica: And Zoe demanded that I write down that during this dance she lifted up her nighting gown and did a belly dance. And also Atela, who may or may not have been her imaginary sister for the night, followed her moves and did a great job.

Kate: Excellent.

Cat’s Outfit

Erica: Holy shit this was terrible.

Kate: Literally the worst I’ve ever seen her look.

Erica: Jumpsuit! Just . . . jumpsuit! No!

Kate: Um what about that slicked-back hair?

Erica: And the hair! Total hate for the hair and eye make-up!

Kate: Her eye makeup looked like Melissa Gorga’s, which I hate. Not EVERY occasion calls for hardcore smoky eyes, ladies!

Erica: So you know how sometimes the universe works such that something that never comes up ever in your life comes up suddenly several times in succession? I thought it was funny that Jenna Elfman was a judge, because a) didn’t know about her impressive dance history, and b) I just watched EdTV last week. Which, as it turns out, I had never seen the whole way through, and which, by the way, was made in 1999 and is a total mind trip to watch now.

Kate: I didn’t know she had a dance background either, all I can think of is her as the slutty angel in Can’t Hardly Wait.

Erica: So the bottom four are Jenna (of course), Hayley, Tucker, and Fik-Shun (!).

Kate: Wah for Fik-Shun.

Erica: And they’re all solo-ing.

Fik-Shun solo – “If You Crump Stand Up” by edIT

Erica: Zoe also demanded that I record the following exchange:

Zoe: Fik Shun is so cool.

Erica: I am not a big fan.

Zoe: But he has cool moves. Just look.

Then she gave me a big kiss for writing it down properly.

Kate: You are good at following her instructions.

Erica: He’s really a lot better than I give him credit for. I haven’t wanted to like him because this show has pushed me so hard to like him and he has that b-boy story they love because they want to be all “You’ve never heard of dance! You are like a wood nymph, ignorant of our ways, except by ‘wood’ we mean ‘ghetto’ and it doesn’t really matter that you appear to have had about the same amount of experience with the ‘ghetto’ as Nigel; you are brown and you break-dance and this is your story.” But he’s really pretty excellent.

Kate: Yes he is!

Hayley solo – “Skin and Bones” by David J. Roth

Erica: I feel about her the way I always have – she’s very, very good, but not particularly interesting or distinct. Which could be due to her being twelve.

Kate: I feel like this song is on every episode of this show. And I disagree, I think she is amazing.

Jenna solo – “Greyhound” by Swedish House Mafia

Erica: What is this awful noise?

Kate: This is the worst thing ever. What is with her face tonight?

Tucker solo – “Beautiful Child” by Rufus Wainwright

Erica: His height, which everyone talks about like it’s a liability, is so beautifully used. I love to watch him move.

Kate: I know, but there is still something about him that’s just not working.

Aaron & Season 4’s Chelsie Hightower – Jive; “Great Balls of Fire” from Million Dollar Quartet

Erica: So, like I said, the All-Stars are also the choreographers this episode, and I was very skeptical at first as to how this would work out, but they seem to have chosen mostly the older, more experienced dancers for this, so it worked out really well, I thought. I love jives, I love Chelsie, and I thought this was some really great jive choreography.

Kate: Yes but I still don’t like him, he looks lazy. And this version of this song REALLY bothers me.

Erica: I thought Aaron looked sort of lunkish and awkward occasionally, but his kicks were quite graceful, and oh man can he get height with his jumps.

Kate: Lazy.

Erica: Also, how many car accidents can be involved in one season? Good lord. Driving is dangerous, kids. Stay home and watch TV instead.

Fik-Shun & Season 2’s Allison Holker – Contemporary; “Skinny Love” by Birdy

Erica: First of all, Fik-Shun looks just like his dad. Second of all, I thought she was beautiful in her own season but damn, she just keeps getting more gorgeous. Also she made a sort of Claire Danes face at the end when she was talking about progress and shit.

Kate: I thought this was unreal. Like Melanie, she brought out the absolute best in him.

Erica: And then I wanted to be all cynical about how BRAVE it is for SYTYCD to STAND UP FOR interracial relationships, like, God, until I was reminded that Allison is in one (and YAY they’re getting married!) and maybe knows more about how current these attitudes are than I do. Although Nigel still managed to be annoyingly self-righteous.

Kate: Such is his nature. Twitch + Allison 4eva!

Erica: But anyway the dancing was fantastic. The choreography was very good and Fik-Shun, while obviously not as polished as Allison, continues to be better than I ever expect him to be, which is as much a fault of my expectations as anything else.

Kate: See I think he did look very polished in this.

Tucker & Season 4’s Courtney Galiano – Jazz, “Clarity” by Zedd feat. Foxes

Erica: And then I was back to being pissed about Nigel/SYTYCD’s show of self-righteousness in supporting interracial relationships, when they won’t let Tucker say on camera that he’s gay. “My macho, football hero dad supports everything about me. Like my dancing. And my dancing. And even if I said anything other than ‘my dancing’, they sure as shit edited it out, because GOD FORBID Nigel admit that homosexuality is fairly common in male dancers.” And then he had to flirt awkwardly in rehearsal footage with Courtney so that we wouldn’t think he was GAY. Because PROGRESS is letting black boys dance with white girls on stage IN 20-F-ING-13 but not letting your male dancers say they’re gay. In 2013.

Kate: It is still Fox, you know.

Erica: Courtney is one of those dancers that I remember not liking much in her season but I love her now and I was wrong not to like her then. And this was a whole lot of fun.

Kate: Yes, I liked this a lot.

Paul & Season 4’s Comfort Fedoke – Hip-Hop, “Dum Dum” by Tedashi feat. LeCrae

Erica: Comfort is a treat, as usual.

Kate: This. Was. Seriously. Amazing.

Erica: Paul still seems sort of bouncy and flowy and cute, but really not bad at all in this totally fun routine.

Kate: I REALLY like him. Not as much as I like Fik-Shun, but I would bot be upset if he won.

Hayley & Season 2’s Dmitry Chapin – Rumba, “Meant” by Elizaveta

Kate: HOLY MOLY!

Erica: Hello again, DmitryLovely to see you again. I guess it’s your job to turn girls into women, now that Pasha’s gone.

Kate: Holy moly they were great together! Everything flowed together so seamlessly, they were like one awesome dancing human.

Erica: I normally don’t much care for the rumba but this was very sexy and I thought Hayley outdid herself.

Kate: Yes, she has actual talent!

Jenna & Season 4’s Mark Kanemura – Jazz, “I Am The Best” by 2NE1

Kate: In addition to dancing with hair in front of face, nothing bothers me more than dancers MOUTHING THE WORDS TO THE SONG TO WHICH THEY ARE DANCING, JENNA!

Erica: I’ve already given you Mark videos; he was Chelsie’s partner and one of the Courtney dances I linked was him, too. But here’s some more.

Kate: I barely noticed him, I was too busy being horrified by Jenna.

Erica: See, this is the point in the season where I start to feel bad about being so mean to Jenna. Because she’s really very, very good. I just don’t like her as much as I liked Malece. Or Makenzie! (sob) But this was exactly as weird as I would have expected of Mark Kanemura, and she did really very well with it. Although, good lord, does she pull some weird faces.

Kate: no, you’re wrong, this sucked.

Jasmine & Season 4’s Stephen “tWitch” Boss – Hip-hop, “The Power” by District 78 feat. Cheesa

Erica: I do very much appreciate Twitch’s humor, and I would totally watch a movie/television series which used this as a premise. However. I think he’s a better dancer than he is a choreographer.

Kate: She, like Aaron, appears lazy to me. Maybe it’s a tall people thing? I mean you are dancing with TWITCH, step your sh!t up!

Erica: Well, with Makenzie gone, she’s my girl. Not in the least because, unlike Makenzie, she seems like a genuinely enjoyable human being, too.

Amy & Season 2’s Travis Wall – Contemporary, “Wicked Games” by James Vincent McMorrow

Kate: Umm oh my god.

Erica: And of course they pair Travis with Amy. She’s their darling. Which makes me crabby toward her, though God knows, she doesn’t deserve it. She’s spectacular. And so ridiculously strong.

Kate: She is so lucky.

Erica: And how nice to see Travis dance again.

Kate: How can you not connect with this wonderful man?

Erica: Okay, so after all that, Jenna is finally given her walking papers, which is fine. Tucker is sent home, too, which . . . I think he’s better than Fik-Shun, but I think Fik-Shun is more interesting, and God knows they love their journeys. Anyway, Tucker, you were a joy to watch and it’s okay with me if you’re gay even if it’s not okay with Nigel. Or Fox. I don’t know.

Kate: They did soften the blow by saying they’ll be right back there next week, though I doubt that helped. Hallelujah for Jenna finally being gone!

 

SYTYCD Season X – Top 10 Perform

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Erica: Zoe was watching with me for the first few dances and watching me take notes. She insisted I write the following in my notebook: “Zoe, Ricki’s daughter, loves her mommy. I love  you, Mom. Love, Zoe.”

Kate: What about Aunt Kate?!

Erica: I will keep you posted on other things she had to say.

Opening Number – Contemporary; “The Gravel” from The Village soundtrack; choreo by Christopher Scott

Erica: I thought the concept and choreography were very cool – they’re all in rocking chairs; sometimes their bodies are moving with the rocking motions. There’s a kind of stark, ’30s Dust Bowl feel to the thing. But it felt like it need a few more hours of rehearsal. The dancers weren’t finishing movements, weren’t sharp enough, weren’t in tune with each other enough, I thought.

Kate: The rocking chairs were very distracting. I find it hard to grasp that Christopher Scott choreographs contemporary and hip-hop.

Erica: Also, they featured Jenna pretty heavily, in a further effort to prove to me that she’s a good dancer. Which she is. But I still liked Malece better and when a dancer spends WEEKS on the bottom and you keep SAYING this isn’t a search for America’s BEST dancer, it’s a search for America’s FAVORITE dancer, and use that as an excuse to keep your pet b-boys around so that you can patronize them for weeks . . . I may have lost the thread of this sentence. But my point remains – WHY HASN’T JENNA GONE HOME YET?!

Kate: I don’t know, she really bothers me.

Zoe: And there was pretty music.

Cat’s Ensemble/Opening Business

Erica: I thought she looked fine.

Kate: In certain lighting she looked AWFUL.

Erica: I do still love her personality. She’s like what a super-intelligent computer would spit out if you asked for the perfect competitive reality show host.

Kate: I mean, I much prefer her to the likes of Ryan Seacrest.

Erica: And I’m happy to see Debbie Allen. I would like for Debbie Allen to be my . . . life coach? Therapist? Aunt? I don’t know. Something.

Kate: Ditto, but, um, WHERE IS ADAM SHANKMANN!?

Erica: I’d actually rather have Adam Shankmann choreographing than judging. So this is the week the All-Stars start. Nigel wants to pretend that we’re not seeing the Bottom Four (Nico, Tucker, Jenna, and Makenzie) perform their solos because we’ve seen these solos, but a) have we seen Nico’s?, b) We haven’t seen Jenna’s in weeks because YOU KEEP SAVING HER FOR SOME REASON, and c) we all know it’s because you’re back up to ten duets after dropping down to six last week so let’s not play.

Kate: I’m pretty sure we’ve seen Nico’s, and I am thrilled to not have to look at solos.

Amy & Season 5’s Brandon – Disco; “I Will Always Love You” by Whitney Houston; choreo by Doriana Sanchez

Erica: Doriana Sanchez promised us “everything you would expect” from a disco routine. Because she’s been choreographing the same thing since 1973.

Kate: I had a huge problem with the remix of this song, it made for VERY awkward dancing.

Zoe: These guys are great. These boy and girl are great.

Erica: I have to say, I was more impressed than I expected to be. There were some seriously insane lifts in there. Though you’re right about the mix of the song. Awful.

Kate: Yes, insane lifts, but I thought they missed a LOT of connections and that Brandon looked a little shaky and out of practice. But didn’t he do an awesome disco in his season?

Erica:Yes, but he was also amazing in other things.  And, if you’re interested, has show up on “Glee” at least once, as a dancer in the “Let’s Get Physical” number. Amy has major cheerface. Nigel compared her to Melanie but Amy is mostly good at performance as long as performance means “Smile and be super-duper bouncy and excited.” Melanie is an actress.

Kate: Also, Brandon is COVERED in glitter, and also also, Amy has Mel B. hair.

Aaron & Season 6’s Kathryn – Contemporary, “I’m Kissing You” by Des’ree; choreo by Stacey Tookey

Erica: I just need a minute to discuss how adorable Stacey Tookey is. Because she is adorable with her hair and her make-up and just so cute.

Kate: Er! This song! I only know this song because of you! I love this song!

Erica: Jason didn’t remember this song but it was pretty popular when we were in high school. It was in Romeo + Juliet. I loved it, too.

Kate: Did you know they are remaking that A-GAIN? But what did you think about the dancing? I think Kathryn has gotten better and better since leaving the show (and also sort of different looking?), but I think she stole the show here. Aaron didn’t do much dancing at all, just tossed her about.

Zoe: They were good at dancing with pretty music.

Erica: I don’t know, I thought he was good. I mean, she’s spectacular, and yes, his main job was throwing her around. But he did that well, right? And Katherine <3ed him so hard so I’m going to go with, Aaron is amazing in ways I have not appreciated yet.

Fik-Shun & Season 8 Winner Melanie – Jazz, “Feeling Good” by Jennifer Hudson; choreo by Mandy Moore

Erica: We love you, Melanie! Oh, yes we do! We don’t love anyone as much as you!

Kate: If this wasn’t a Hot Tamale Train qualifier, I don’t know what is. Man I thought they were great together! She really brought out the best in him.

Erica: So I promised myself that I would pay attention to Fik-Shun because after all he is the competitor here but my eyes couldn’t leave Melanie. She’s just everything a performer ought to be. So the second time I paid attention to him and he’s . . . he’s not bad. He really isn’t. But they spend so much time talking about his journey and his challenges and whatnot and here is the thing – they have too many different buy-ins on this show. You can EITHER have a show in which hella talented, rigorously trained young dancers come on to hone their craft and get exposure, or you can have a show in which relatively untrained but amazingly talented dancers come on to learn the craft and go on a journey. But you cannot have those two groups competing against each other. I mean, Fik-Shun has a made-for-reality-TV personality, and he’s a very talented dancer, but I don’t want to here about his journey while watching gorgeous dancers like Malece get kicked off.

Kate: Well, he’s never been in the bottom this season, so there is something to him. I hate how Nigel patronizes him, and he is not the best dancer I’ve ever seen, but, honestly, the guys aren’t that great this season, and he stands out to me.

Erica: Cyrus was never in the bottom, either. And Fik-Shun is way better than Cyrus. But still. I mean, did you  hear Mandy Moore in the rehearsal footage? “Melanie was the Season 8 WINNER. Fik-Shun has to meet her half-way”? That’s not encouraging. And yet he’s popular so he stays. Whereas Jenna has been in the Bottom 3 EVERY FUCKING WEEK FOR THE LAST A MILLION WEEKS. Because even if she’s technically great, no one likes her. And you can’t have those two things being at the crux of the same damn competition. God.

Zoe: I AM NOT SLEEPY! I AM NEVER GOING SLEEPIES! (Snore)

Paul & Season 9’s Witney – Cha-cha; “Live It Up” by Jennifer Lopez; choreo by Jean-Mark Genereux

Erica: So Witney has a movie coming out? It’s East Side Story and it’s got a ton of SYTYCD alumni – Comfort, Brandon, Jordan, Russell, Witney, and Chehon all appear. It looks seriously low-rent, though. And, hey, Witney, Chehon – IMDB needs your photo, dudes. What’s up with that? Pay a publicist. God.

Kate: Wait, I don’t like what the name is leading me to believe it might be, but I’d love to see those dancers (says the girl who loves the second third and fourth Step Up and Bring It On movies).

Erica: I did not connect with this. I don’t know if it’s that I think the cha-cha is something that it’s not, or if this wasn’t choreographed well, or if it wasn’t danced well, or if the song sucked, or what, but I just didn’t like it. And I like Paul and I’ve always been a fan of Witney’s dancing so I don’t know what the deal is.

Kate: Well their size difference wasn’t ideal, but I thought they actually connected well and cha-chaed their little hearts out. I feel like I’ve said this before, but, Paul is GREAT at body rolls.

Erica: Paul is still growing, right? Because I think he’s a great dancer, but he’s so . . . adorable. As opposed to sexy. Is it because I’m getting old?

Kate: No, he weighs less than I do. That can’t be sexy in a guy.

Hayley & Season 4’s Twitch – Hip-hop; “Locked Out of Heaven (District 78 Remix)” by Bruno Mars; choreo by Christopher Scott

Erica: Are you going to say something about Bruno Mars?

Kate: I’m excited that District 78 blocked out most of his stupid voice.

Erica: I kind of want to talk to Hayley about eyebrow and eye make-up choices. She’s seriously cute but her decisions in those arena are diminishing, rather than enhancing, her cuteness.

Kate: What makes you think those are her choices at this point?

Erica: Because I’m talking about how she looks in rehearsal footage, how she looked at auditions, etc. Her eye makeup and eyebrows looked better on stage.

Kate: …

Erica: This was really very cute and fun. Twitch is the ultimate SYTYCD dancer/performer and Hayley clearly lit up dancing with him.

Kate: Yes, I felt this dance focused too much on Hayley and not enough on Twitch. She was OK at hip-hop, but not as good as she has been at everything else, and I just would have preferred to watch him. AND ALEX WONG!

Jenna & Season 3’s Neil – Contemporary, “I Can’t Make You Love Me” by Mark Masri

Erica: Boy, he sure filled out.

Kate: He is the Calling You bench dance guy, right?

Erica: No, that’s Travis. He did the Mia Michaels dead dad piece with Lacey Schwimmer. In his own season, he did stuff like this.

Erica: The thing is, Jenna is not a bad dancer. She’s a good dancer. And she can give basically whatever the choreographers want her to give. I mean, obviously, she doesn’t suck – she made it onto this show and she’s not a b-boy. But there’s nothing interesting or unique about her dancing, either. She’s a blank canvas for choreographers. She was good here, she really was. But I’d still rather have been watching Malece.

Kate: Ditto! The all-stars are really bringing out the best in the dancers this week, but I don’t think that’s fair because they should have been dancing like this all along.

Erica: As a former stage manager/producer, I was sort of rolling my eyes at the set. All those candles. That is some irritating work to set up and break down right there.

Kate: As our mother’s daughter, I thought that was fraught with peril.

Jasmine & Season 8’s Marko – Jazz, “Blurred Lines” by Robin Thicke feat. Pharrell; choreography by Ray Leeper

Erica: I was wondering when we were going to get this song!

Kate: I, like, JUST heard this song for the first time. And still have not seen the video.

Erica: I am somewhat embarrassed but I kind of love this song. And have failed to be at all offended by the video (which I’m not linking, because it’s NSFW, and I am all about protecting you, my readers). I am terribly pleased and proud that Nigel managed not to say anything lewd about Jasmine and the costumes of the girls in the video.

Kate: I didn’t love Jasmine in this. I felt like she was trying way too hard to have jazz swagger, whereas Marko seemed to come by it very naturally. And, talk about awkward size difference – Nigel said he thought he was watching two all-stars at times, and I thought Jasmine was the guy and Marko was the girl, at times.

Erica: I thought it was cute and fun and they were both very good but they did not look like the same person.

Makenzie & Season 6’s Jakob – Broadway, “Too Darn Hot (RAC mix)” by Ella Fitzgerald, choreo by Spencer Liff

Erica: I don’t remember this guy at all. Where’s Pasha?

Kate: I think he was ballroom, no?

Erica: I really, really hate the arrangement of this song. And I LOVE this song and I LOVE Ella and I don’t know who RAC is but I am not a fan of them right now.

Kate: But I thought they were great in this together! Very into the characters/theme, very in sync, very connected; I felt like this was right up Makenzie’s alley.

Erica: So on the one hand, I’m like, oh, great, another number in which Makenzie is a sexpot. And then I’m like, damn, Makenzie is so good at being a sexpot. I mean, she was phenomenal in this number. Supernova. And it was tough because this number wasn’t great. The choreography was not particularly original or exciting. But Makenzie made it sing. See, choreographers, this is who you should want to work with. Not Jenna, who can do exactly what you tell her to do, but Makenzie, who can make any shit you throw at them SING.

Kate: She’s so pretty it’s not fair.

Erica: Also, her hair and make-up were TO DIE FOR. I mean, she’s a pretty girl; it’s not like it’s hard to make her look good. But this look on her was A-MAZ-ING.

Kate: Not fair.

Erica: And then Nigel is all, “To borrow from Marc Antony, I suppose I should bury you and not praise you,” and, a) true confession time – at first I thought he was talking about the singer and it took me way longer than it should have to realize he was quoting Shakespeare, b) I’m not really sure it was an appropriate quote from Shakespeare because interpreting it in the context of Julius Caesar, one would conclude that what he meant was this was her last show, to the extent that interpreting it in the context of Julius Caesar gave it any meaning at all, and c) I think what he meant was, “Maybe I should say nasty things about you instead of praising you all the time so the voters will have sympathy for you and vote to save you from my evilness,” but . . . that doesn’t really have anything to do with the quote. It’s okay, Nigel. You have a British accent. We Americans already assume you’re smarter than we are. You don’t have to pull out the Shakespeare.

Kate: I had NO IDEA what he was referring to there. Thanks for clearing up.

Nico & Season 2’s Comfort (!) – Hip-hop, “Get Ur Freak On (Amended LP version)” by Missy Elliott; choreo by NappyTabs

Erica: You know that scene in Mean Girls when the song comes on and Damien goes, “I love this song,” and Janice Ian goes, “I hate this song,” and Cady goes, “I know this song!” all pleased with herself? That’s how I felt when this song started up.

Kate: I ADORE this song, ESPECIALLY for awesome hip-hop routine dancing. I thought it was an excellent combination of forces – NappyTabs, Comfort, and Missy.

Erica: So, NappyTabs, reptiles are precise and deliberate and explosive? I . . . alright. If you say so.

Kate: I loved this. I mean, this might have been one of my favorites of the season so far, it’s so me. I think Nico did an awesome job getting into this character and having hip-hop swag and matching Comfort’s level. I kind of knew it was too little too late for him, but I always knew he had this in him.

Erica: I thought it was very good and I thought that Nico was much better than I was expecting him to be. Also, Mary Murphy, no one in the known universe believes you when you try a fake-out. No one.

Tucker & Season 6’s Robert – Contemporary, “Medicine” by Daughter; choreo by Travis Wall

Erica: I didn’t know Robert was in an accident. That sucks.

Kate: I’m in lerve with him. He is muh fave boy dancer from this show after Twitch.

Erica: So they were spectacular and I’m even going to give a pass on the sentimentality because it’s not an “issue” and also I was kind of thinking about my dad and uncle and how much they help each other out so, you know. I liked it.

Kate: I like when they pair boys together on this show, like the Kent and Neil baseball routine from season 7, and these two were a perfect match.

Erica: Hey, where is Kent? He was great. Looking up all these videos is reminding me of all the past performers I’d love to see as All-Stars.

Kate: He and season 7 winner Lauren never participate in anything. Makes me wonder…

Erica: Kind of unfair giving Tucker contemporary, though, right? When Nico, who he’s up against, is also a contemporary dancer, and did hip-hop? And wasn’t in a life-threatening accident?

Kate: But Nico killed it in the hip-hop, and don’t they, like, pick out of a hat for their styles that week? Or is that a lie and I’m very, very naïve?

Erica: Very naive. I mean, seriously, the two dancers who were in a tragic accidents are paired for a contemporary routine with Travis Wall by sheer coincidence? No.

Eliminations

Erica: WHAT IS JENNA DOING? IS SHE MAKING THEM CUPCAKES? IS THAT IT? IS THAT WHY MARY MURPHY IS ON A DIET? BECAUSE SHE’S BEEN MAKING THEM CUPCAKES?!

Kate: I can’t even.

Erica: Whatever. I’m going to miss you, Makenzie. You’re gorgeous and it’s not your fault that straight guys don’t vote.

Kate: I hope she becomes the highest-paid dancer in the history of everything and stars in an insanely successful Broadway show and just stomps all over this stupid, STUPID country.

Erica: As far as the boys, I think Nico had a better week than Tucker this week, by some small margin, but I think they are both fairly fantastic and, you know, it’s fine.

Kate: Yeah, I am not emotionally invested in either of them. Now, what’s this about something special going on next week?

Erica: What?

Kate: Cat said something special was happening next week. Guess we’ll have to wait and see!

SYTYCD Season X – Top 12 Perform

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Opening Number – Bollywood: “Pandeyjee Seeti” from Dabangg 2 (Original Soundtrack); choreo by Nahul Dev Mahajan

Kate: Have they ever done a group Bollywood routine before?

Erica: No.

Kate: I don’t know if this works. It’s hard for me to tell if anyone is good at Bollywood when they are in a group setting.

Erica: See, I felt like it ought to have been better, because it was group, and it is my understanding that most Bollywood numbers in, like, actual Bollywood movies are in large groups but this didn’t feel…full enough? I don’t know.

Kate: Amy is CHEESING so hard. And, coming from a former cheerleader, she looks WAY to cheerleadery in this.

Erica: I got the sense that they were all directed to keep up cheerleader-esque smiles the whole time. And Amy is exceptionally good at that.

Cat’s Outfit

Kate: She looks like a 35-year-old doll.

Erica: That’s super-awful and weird.

Kate: I like the concept of the dress, but it’s a little too much for me.

Erica: I don’t even like the concept. I like the hair, though.

Kate: Again, that is how I want my hair to look every day.

Bottom 6

Kate: ANOTHER injury? This is getting ridiculous

Erica: Seriously. Are they working them harder this season or did they get a bunch of guys who aren’t so good at taking care of their injuries or what? Oh, and is Mary wearing body glitter?

Kate: I think it’s the latter.

Erica: I also want to be on the record as hating Kenny Ortega. I’m not sure why but I’m pretty sure I do.

Kate: Oh I like him – he is responsible for bringing Dirty Dancing into the world!

Erica: He’s pissed me off on this show before. Can’t put my finger on why.

Kate: Why do they constantly save Jenna? There is a REASON she is constantly in the bottom, “judges”!

Erica: THEY’RE SAVING JENNA OVER MALECE AND AMY?!!!!! WTF, JUDGES?! WTF?!

Tucker’s Solo: “Maestro” from “The Holiday” (Original Soundtrack)

Kate: Wait, he’s injured but can do a solo? How does that work?

Erica: I think the situation was, he was too injured during the week to rehearse, but the knee is better tonight.

Kate: He does look unsteady on that knee.

Erica: Really? I thought it was miraculous that he could do what he did on a bad knee at all. Then again, it was infected, not sprained or something.

Amy’s Solo: “Je Suis Malade” by Lara Fabian

Kate: My viewing partner said she always looks unbalanced and ungraceful – I didn’t think that before, but in this solo…Yeah, she kinda does.

Erica: Maybe she’s not a good choreographer.

Kate: I still like her a lot, but she kind of thumped around unsteadily here. Not good for the decision later in the show.

Malece’s Solo: “Patient Love” by Passenger

Kate: Um, red is SO her color!

Erica: I know this has nothing to do with anything but I really like the song.

Kate: She is very talented. I’m not sure why she is in the bottom?

Erica: Me neither. This solo was great. It was better than Amy’s. But both of them should still be in the competition; Jenna should be out. What is wrong with you, America? And what is wrong with you, judges?

Alan’s Solo: “Mas Que Nada” by Sergio Mendes Feat. The Black Eyed Peas

Kate: Ew.

Erica: I don’t know what your problem is.

Kate: He is SHIMMYING. He’s a guy, shimmying! Not ok! So CREEPY I can’t stand it!

Erica: He’s a ballroom dancer! They shimmy. Don’t be so gender essentialist about it.

Kate: Also, he is kind of a lesser version of Mario Lopez.

Erica: Can Mario Lopez dance?

Kate: I mean in terms of appearance.

Hayley & Nico – Broadway: “Kiss of the Spider Woman” by Jeffrey Huard & Chita Rivera (Kiss of the Spider Woman – Cast Recording); choreo by Sean Cheesman

Erica: One thing I learned about Hayley is that she’s much cuter without the thick eyeliner and over-plucked brows.

Kate: I have never heard of this song or this show, so it doesn’t count as Broadway.

Erica: Oh, Kate. Kiss of the Spider Woman is kind of a big show. Vanessa Williams was in it last time it was revived.

Kate: So it started off a little weird for me, but it got better as it went on.

Erica: I thought it was quite good. I have been lukewarm about Hayley – and positively cold on Sean Cheesman – but I really liked this.

Kate: I think she is very talented, but I was hoping for more from the two of them as a pair. Lots of super cool lifts, though.

Erica: Super cool. That one where he just flipped her over his shoulder with his leg straight: Amaze. And their character work was great, too. I’d not seen that from Nico before, I don’t think.

Kate: That’s the lift to which I was referring.

Erica: I do think we need to maybe start some sort of group therapy for some of the SYTYCD choreographers. Get into their thing about women and their evil sexuality.

Kate: Here we go.

Erica: Also – how much do I hate it when Nigel is all, “That could almost be on the actual stage!”? Like, first of all, what are they standing on, a raft? That’s a stage. They’re entertaining millions. This is it. Second of all, these dancers are looking for professional dancing careers on actual stages. They’re not second-graders. Or me. It’s condescending, not complimentary, to be amazed that they’re almost there.

Malece & Alan – Jazz: “Come Dance With Me” by Michael Buble; choreo by Mandy Moore

Kate: Yayyyy Mandy Moore is back!

Erica: Bring on the cheese!

Kate: So, ignoring Malece’s Audrey Hepburn comment, I liked this surprisingly a lot. It was fun and they did well with it.

Erica: I must say, if I were dance instructor, I would have a film portion of the class where they have to watch, like, Gene Kelly, and Bob Fosse, and what not. But the routine was adorbs. Malece was a little dream boat. What is wrong with you, America?!

Kate: I even thought the judges were a little harsh on them. But I agree they did not connect well, probably because she too is extremely creeped out by Alan.

Erica: He doesn’t seem…I don’t know, I’m not creeped out by him like you are, but I feel like that’s a consistent problem with him. His solos, I think, are always good, but his partner work is never quite as good. Which is weird in a ballroom dancer. But the judges were being WAY harsh which makes me think that they’re setting up justification for bumping her and not their darling Amy. WHEN IT REALLY SHOULD BE JENNA, YOU FOOLS!!!!

Jenna & Not-Tucker – Paso Doble: “He’s A Pirate (Ship ahoy Tribal Remix)” by Chris Joss & Klaus Badelt; choreo by Jean Marc Genereux

Kate: Ok, the little clip before the dance was WAY too much for me. I hate the Pirates movies, and I didn’t need all that “omg Pirates!” crap from Jenna, whom I don’t think should even be there, and Jean Marc, who creeps me out almost as much as Alan does.

Erica: I’m thinking that they actually do read this blog and listen, because last time I complained about how I hadn’t see a Paso in a pretty skirt in a while, and look here! Skirt!

Kate: Oh look, a perfect opportunity for us to show the Alex and Twitch dance!

Erica: Weird to choose him for this dance. He’s not a ballroom guy, and they have all-start ballroom guys around. Right?

Kate:  Yes, it’s interesting that Alex stepped in as the all-star to save the day but had never done Paso Doble, or even ballroom, before this.

Erica: Where’s Pasha?!

Kate: I think this theme would have worked better as not a Paso Doble, but I liked it more than the usual Paso Dobles with all the male violence and swooshing capes.

Erica: See, I think it’s the perfect theme for the Paso, but I didn’t think this particular Paso was that good. What are they seeing in Jenna that I’m not seeing? You know what? Wondering why the judges love Jenna when I’m seeing mediocre (for this show) dancing is leading my brain to very bad places so I’m just not.

Makenzie & Paul – Contemporary: “The Edge of Glory (Live From ‘A Very Gaga Thanksgiving’)” by Lady Gaga; choreo by Mandy Moore

Kate: A very Gaga Thanksgiving? Really?

Erica: I really enjoyed Makenzie knowing how TV worked, prompting the editors to find footage of Paul. And then Paul pretending, for her sake, that she ever doesn’t look beautiful.

Kate: I was hoping for a really great sappy Grey’s Anatomy-type song when I heard the theme of the dance, but whatever.

Erica: Really? I was expecting “Leader of the Pack.” I like this version of the song but I also like the original.

Kate: I truly love that moment in contemporary dances when the pair breaks apart and dances together but not as partners (example: Robert & Allison’s “Fix You” dance). The kicks and leaps and turns always look so perfect and give me chills upon chills.

Erica: These two are just…sigh. I mean, I know I make fun of her a lot, but when shes dancing, she is just perfection. And he is really quite unbelievably wonderful, too. And also I love Mandy Moore.

Kate: Anyway, this was wonderful but not any more wonderful than anything they’ve done before. She is so gorgeous it’s not even fair.

Erica: Nigel: “I can’t wait for next week, Paul, when you get an all-star and there’s a shot in hell I’ll look at you. For right now I haven’t even realized you’re on stage because have you SEEN Makenzie?”

Amy & Fik-Shun – Viennese Waltz: “A Thousand Years, Pt. 2” by Christina Perri feat. Steve Kazee; choreo by Jean Marc Genereux

Kate: Um, they look lovely! And kind of in love? How do you like that for “different characters”!?

Erica: They’ve always played themselves. This was themselves, slow and sweet. It was fine, but not super-remarkable to me. And I hated her dress. But of course they’ll tongue bathe them a little to justify saving Amy. I did like what Kenny Ortega said about Fik-Shun – he would figure out how to fly if it was required of him.

Kate: I did not see so many technical things wrong, judges. I think they moved beautifully together and had great frames and hit all their connections. The dance looked very effortless to me – I mean, shoot, he lifted her with one arm!

Erica: OH, MY GOD, CAT, LET’S NOT HOPE THEY END UP UNDEAD AND CREEPY LIKE BELLA AND EDWARD HOLY LORD. Also Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson never, for one second, actually dated.

Kate: Eh? I didn’t catch the Twilight reference, I guess, but we all know how I feel about that.

Erica: Oh, wait, what did I say? I said I hated it when the judges mentioned having seen a dress rehearsal. And tonight Nigel just says he saw Fik-Shun’s bad arms in the video instead of saying anything about rehearsals. THEY ARE TOTALLY READING US.

Jasmine & Aaron: Hip-Hop: “Gold Rush” by Clinton Sparks Feat. 2 Chainz, Macklemore & D.A.; choreo by NappyTabs

Kate: It’s not FAIR that THESE TWO got NappyTabs.

Erica: NappyTabs crack me up. Stage coach robber and gold digger. Of course.

Kate: It would have been such a great routine with a different couple – Amy and Fik-Shun, to be specific. Jasmine and Aaron did OK, but they got really lazy in some parts and just didn’t hit everything the way NappyTabs moves are supposed to be hit. I don’t care that it’s harder for you because you’re tall and long, Aaron, you work at it.

Erica: They were just a tiny bit lazy, I agree. They seemed like they were dancing in the middle of the dance floor at a party, not doing a professionally choreographed dance on stage. But her hips did some crazy things. And I really liked the routine.

Top 6 (but really 5) Boys – Hip-Hop: “It’s A Man’s Man’s World” by Joshua Ledett (American Idol contestant); choreo by NappyTabs

Kate: I would like to see the WHOLE group do a NappyTabs hip-hop routine, but I’ll settle for just the guys, I guess.

Erica: I’m sure you’ll see it at some point.

Kate: It was actually kind of weird seeing a group of guys dance to this, because I feel like they’ve used this song on this show for, like, girl power routines a lot.

Erica: I loathe this song. So much. Good and fun routine but God I hate this song. And it doesn’t make any sense as a girl power routine, either.

Top 6 Girls – Contemporary: “Young and Beautiful (DH Orchestral Version)” by Lana Del Rey; choreo by Stacey Tookey

Kate: Wow.

Erica: Beautiful routine. Hideous outfits.

Kate: Cheerleader stunts! I see cheerleader stunts!

Erica: Did you not think it was hilarious that there was the theme of aging starlets being performed by the very young contestants on a reality show? Did you not think it simply bent the whole concept of irony on its ear?

Kate: Cheerleader stunts!

Elimination

Kate: I’m shocked!

Erica: I’m not.

Kate: I really thought they’d send Amy home; I was under the impression that they looooved Malece. She is so So You Think You Can Dance!

Erica: They’ve always had it in for her. Been more critical than I thought was fair. And Amy has been their darling from the beginning. BUT IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN JENNA, PEOPLE! IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN JENNA! Seriously. This is some bullsh!t. Jenna, you’re on my list. And judges…WTF, judges? Just, WTF?

Kate: So happy about Alan, though. Bye creeper!