SAGs 2016

Kate: Gosh I love award show season.

Erica: So here’s what happened for me. I actually remembered to record the SAGs AND I recorded the red carpet coverage on E!, which is a totally different channel than the one airing the actual awards, but I still found the red carpet coverage and recorded it. I was very proud of myself. I knew I wasn’t going to watch it because we were going out to dinner and then I had to work the next morning, so I figured I’d get to this Sunday afternoon. Then I couldn’t sleep. I woke up at around 2:00 a.m. and couldn’t go back to sleep, so at 3:00 a.m. I said, “F*ck it, what else should I do?” Then I realized that a) covering SAG fashion was a perfect 3 am.. activity, and b) if I wasn’t sleeping now I was going to need to in the afternoon anyway. So I got my iPad, on which I can stream Tivo, and I sat down at my computer, and I discovered I can only stream Tivo from the downstairs TV. Not the bedroom. So I’m sitting here looking at the arrivals photos on Getty Images as usual instead of viewing the telecast WHICH I EVEN RECORDED AND EVERYTHING. This is the story of my life.

Kate: That sounds extremely complicated. I always forget that the SAGs cover TV, too.

Erica: Anyway, here’s who I’m seeing.

Amy Poehler

Kate: Dark-haired Amy! Dark-haired Amy!

Erica: Ooh, I do like the hair color.

Kate: My love for her/Parks and Rec exceeds my ability to judge of her fashion choices. Black is always a safe bet, I don’t like those pointy strapless things on anyone, but overall quite elegant.

Erica: The dress is fine. It’s not going to, like, change the face of fashion, but she looks fine.

 

Anna Chlumsky

Kate: YEESH that hair!

Erica: It’s hard to see in full-body pics, but she did this weird sculpty thing with the baby hairs around her forehead. I don’t understand fully what that’s about. I know it’s a thing in “chola” fashion, but a) that’s not how the chola girls do it, and b) nothing else about the look would indicate that that’s what she was going for. (Also I think I might be too white to use the word chola.)

Kate: It’s just awful! The dress is ok — black satin is a harsh look on her, and the hem is a mess — but it’s hard to look at anything but that hair. Scary.

 

Anna Faris

Kate: This is kind of fabulous in a Space Age kind of way, no?

Erica: I would like to note that the slit is going to be very big this evening.

Kate: Isn’t it always?

Erica: I think I like it. I didn’t at first but it’s growing on me. I like the structured look of the top. The material looks really elegant. I think she accessorized subtly and well. It doesn’t feel as bubbly as she usually is, but I’m going to come out in favor of this one.

Kate: Me too, even though it combines two elements I hate: mock turtleneck, short sleeves.

 

Ariel Winter

Kate: Taking some style tips from castmate Sofia Vergara with that mermaid bottom, are we Ariel?

Erica: I don’t know that Sofia Vergara can actually claim ownership of the mermaid dress.

Kate: She looks fab — mostly because she has a fab body — but her hair is a little TOO black (and too Kardashian, to be honest). Great makeup.

Erica: She really did become all kinds of curvy. But yes, hair is too harsh. It is possible the Kardashians are more her style role models that Sofia.

Kate: It’s a sad, sad world.

 

Brie Larson

Erica: She’s in Room, right?

Kate: Yes.

Erica: Not seeing that. No way, no how. My book club is considering reading an Oscar-nominated novel, but when we were reading the list, I gave a hard pass to Room. Well, I think what happened is I just started shaking my head spasmodically.

Kate: I thought you did read the book and are just refusing to see the movie?

Erica: I did read the book. I don’t want to so much as skim over it again, and I really don’t want to sit at a table with a bunch of other women in a public place and TALK about it. That would be awful.

Kate: I now feel like I should see the movie, as part of my quest.

Erica: Anyway, this dress, I think I almost really like it. I really like the color. The drape is really great on her. I like the weird things happening around the neck. It’s just that the ties are kind of stupid-looking and the slit is a little too aggressive for the rest of the dress. There should be more drapeyness involved there. It lacks subtlety.

Kate: It’s really hard to wear any type of light blue on the red carpet, but that insanely perfect tan she has makes it work. The color, that is. The dress, though — WHAT are the stupid knots all over and WHAT is that orange seat belt-looking thing in the back?! Did the designer run out of blue material?

Erica: Ooh, wait, I didn’t see that. That is awful. That is so disappointing. Now I don’t like this dress at all anymore.

Kate: I am also having a problem with her hair, which is actually a glorified Topsy Tail. Remember Topsy Tails?

Erica: Not until you just said it right now but OMG yes. It does look like that.

Kate: She looks very pretty because she is very pretty, I am just not feeling all the different elements of the dress (and hair). I do, however, really like the red-orange lip.

 

Christina Hendricks

Erica: You’ve seen the Veronica Mars movie, right?

Kate: No not yet because you betrayed me and watched it without me!

Erica: Sorry. Go watch it right now so you can understand this quote. She should wear this, and only this, forever.

Kate: She has such a perfect freaking face and perfect freaking hair. Very Adele-like makeup around the eyes.

Erica: Yes. And hair that Adele would like to achieve, but has to go to sculpted to actually get there.

Kate: I want to like the dress, but I don’t. It’s not the light color against her light skin, and it’s not the pattern; it’s the material, which looks ill-fitting on her, AND it’s that damn one-shoulder bow — didn’t we get rid of that after Charlize Theron’s Oscar dress disaster? — AND it’s the bustle in the back, which is too Cinderella-evil-stepsisters.

Erica: No I don’t care, it’s so Hollywood 1950s glam and I love it. She can wear it because she has a Hollywood 1950s glam body. Charlize has a 2000s body.

 

Christina Ricci

Kate: My twin!

Erica: She looks less like your twin with the blond hair.

Kate: I don’t love her with blond hair, especially paired with such harshly dark makeup. I swear to god we’ve seen this dress before. On Cate Blanchett, maybe? Claire Danes?

Erica: I’m thinking Jessica Alba.

Kate: It looks great on her, we’ve just seen it before, of that I am sure. It would probably only work on a really petite frame like hers. The whole look does not offend me in terms of people telling me I look like her.

Erica: Eh, I don’t love it. It looks to me like someone couldn’t decide if they were designing athletic wear, a nightgown, or a fancy dress. And I don’t like the blond hair.

 

Claire Danes

Kate: I love when Angela wears her hair like that. Her skin/makeup looks very fresh and sun-kissed and natural.

Erica: I can’t believe how good she looks. She is still super-skinny, but this dress does not make her look skeletal, and she’s actually smiling!

Kate: I don’t love the two-tonedness of the dress, but yes the silhouette looks amazing on her lanky frame and honestly probably wouldn’t work on anyone else.

 

Ellie Kemper

Kate: Kimmy! When are we getting a season 2?!

Erica: Ooh, I don’t think we’ve talked about it since I watched it, too! I thought it was great! And it can’t be that expensive to produce; I’m sure we’ll get a new season soon.

Kate: I absolutely love her hair and makeup — I’m digging these short bobs, ladies — and I love the TOP of the dress. If only the top continued through the bottom, instead of that picture from a ninth grade biology textbook. That’s what that is on the bottom, right?

Erica: How would I know? I couldn’t really remember what was in my ninth grade biology textbook when I was in ninth grade.

Kate: On second thought, I may not like it if the top continued through the bottom because I don’t know if I like her in all black. Now I’m just confused.

Erica: It’s a confusing dress. She’s a fabulous person, though!

Kate: Totes

 

Emilia Clarke

Kate: Luuuuuurrrrvveeee her hair and makeup, and the color of the dress, and the top/neckline of the dress. If only the bottom were more sleek and columny rather than poofy, then it’d be perfect/Best Dressed Nominee.

Erica: This is very, very different from her. I like it a lot but I kind of couldn’t tell who she was until I looked at the captions on the photos.

Kate: It does look like something unnatural has happened to her face.

 

Eva Longoria

Erica: So tell us everything about how utterly charming and delightful she is in person.

Kate: I actually didn’t see her at WWHL, I saw Khloe Kardashian.

Erica: Oh! I thought you were seeing her. That’s disappointing. I do not love this dress, I must say. I don’t love the color, and I feel like its va-va-voom qualities are not played off with panache. By the dress, I mean, not by Eva herself, who is 100% panache 100% of the time.

Kate: Yea, I don’t love the long sleeves, or all the other nonsense going on all over the dress — sequins, see-through, sequins, see-through. You are correct in that the hunter green color is gross.  

Erica: Also, her hair is a little too slicked and with the color of the dress, it’s sort of sea-creature-risen-from-the-deep.

Kate: As Mom would say, she looks like a drowning victim. I HATE slicked back hair on the sides/behind the ears.

 

Helen Mirren

Erica: Let’s just give her all the prizes forever.

Kate: Literally, yes.

 

January Jones

Erica: I just don’t even with her. How do you, January Jones, very tiny human being, find a dress that makes you look thick? And, you know, I’m not necessarily against dresses that look sort of like you wrapped a sheet around yourself, but…This really looks like you wrapped a sheet around yourself. The sleeves, in particular, look like the designer just went, “Ah, f*ck it.” And also, if you’re going to wrap a sheet around yourself, maybe don’t do platforms?

Kate: Oh my god, I didn’t even know this was her. I saw this dress start coming down the red carpet and had no idea who it was, so I ignored it. Yikes!

Erica: I do like the bracelets. And I really like the smiling like she’s happy to be there. Although maybe the smile is about, “This is finally, FINALLY, my very last appearance as concerns Betty Draper! FREEDOM!!!”

Kate: But she looks thicker in the face, too, so maybe she just IS thicker? Not that there’s anything wrong with that?

Erica: Okay, then that dress is not flattering to her new curves. There’s nothing wrong with getting thicker/being thick if you dress for it.

 

Julia Louis-Dreyfus

Kate: I really like that she went with a pattern because she usually does solid white or solid black, and her hair is effing perfect, but the bottom of the dress is awful. Very awkward length. I also don’t like the necklace, but I never like short necklaces with strapless gowns.

Erica: This is a very different look for her. More girlish. I like it. I think she’s pulling it off well.

Kate: No, you’re wrong, it’s bad. If the dress were T-length and the skirt started poofing out from the waist, and the pattern also started fading out there, it’d be adorable, but probably not appropriate for the SAGs.

Erica: But most importantly, did you see the purse?

Kate: I saw her post that on Instagram and thought it was some kind of centerpiece on the table. Alas, it’s her purse.

 

Julianna Marguiles

Erica: I don’t think much one way or the other about the dress. I just always see her and go, “Oh, yeah, I should binge-watch “The Good Wife” sometime!”

Kate: She has the slicked-back-behind-the-ears hair too! WTF, ladies?

Erica: She’s awfully narrow, isn’t she?

Kate: Always. I like the dress, but think it’d be better as a strapless. With her hair all the way up, and a little loose.

 

Julianne Moore

Erica: You know, she’s a talented and amazing enough person to do the “F*ck it” thing like Meryl Streep. Instead she chooses to wear hideous things like this. There is a sharp distinction between “F*ck it” and “No, I actually think this looks super glamorous and good.” It does not, Julianne. It does not.

Kate: Does her stylist not allow her to wear anything BUT sequins? Also, what color is this, yellow? Green? Both? Please advise.

Erica: This color is Big Bag of Nope.

 

Kaley Cuoco

Erica: This is a person who never looks the same twice. Like, I find her utterly unrecognizable every single time I see her on the red carpet.

Kate: Is she, like, known in Hollywood to be completely nuts? I just watched her on Lip Sync Battle and she just looked like she doesn’t have all her marbles, also evidenced by this slicked-back/up top knot and ridiculous cutout dress. Finally, we can agree on not liking cutouts!

Erica: I think maybe she is. She frequently looks nuts on the red carpet.

Kate: Hold on, it’s not a cut out, because where it looks like there’s a cutout, it’s actually just mesh in the exact color of her skin. Ew!

Erica: Ew! I hate mesh WAY more than I hate cutouts!

 

Kate Winslet

Kate: Wowwwwwwww.

Erica: See, for me, very nice, but not wow.

Kate: Again, a very Kate Winslet choice, but that is not a negative thing at all. Perfectly tailored to her body, great color on her, elegant hair, slightly flashier jewelry than usual which is a good thing — all around effing fabulous.

Erica: Right, I guess that for me, Kate Winslet always looks lovely and perfect but never interesting, so it’s never wow for me. She is a wow human being, but her looks are always exactly perfect and therefore kinda boring.

 

Kiernan Shipka

Kate: Oh this freaks me out.

Erica: Man, she looks so NORMAL. I sort of like it when she’s in something sort of whackadoo.

Kate: No, it’s not that she looks normal, it’s that she just still looks like a child, just taller. Freaky.

Erica: You are so silly, Kate.

Kate: I appreciate that her hair and makeup are simple for such a young creature, but their simplicity doesn’t match the dress. Speaking of the dress, I’d like it much better as T length. Then it’d be quite Audrey.

Erica: You know, it really would.

 

Kristen Wiig

Kate: When I only saw the top of this I thought, ‘I feel like this is a very non-Kristen Wiig choice, right?’ Then I saw the bottom.

Erica: I think this is the kind of thing I was expecting Kiernan Shipka to wear.

Kate: I actually really like the pony — what else would you do with that asymmetrical neckline? — but we all know how I feel about ladies wearing pants on the red carpet. I just feel like she should be going clubbing in that, not to the SAG Awards.

Erica: And we know how I feel about half-black, half-white evening attire.

Kate: So true.

 

Laverne Cox

Erica: First of all, see what I mean about the Night of the Slit?

Kate: Yea, but every red carpet is a Night of the Slit.

Erica: Second of all, I think she’s really getting this red carpet thing down.

Kate: Oh, I am less thrilled by this than her last, like, 5 red carpet looks, but it’s still nice.

Erica: I’m just saying, the first few, she was a little second-rate-pageant. Now she’s in her groove.

Kate: I love the color but it’s probably better on lighter skin tones, and I don’t like that her lip color exactly matches the dress. And the top of the dress isn’t all that flattering on her. Hair looks lovely, though.

 

Maisie Williams

Kate: So cute!

Erica: I love how she gets so girly when she’s not Arya.

Kate: Really love the color and the cut and the hairdo on such a young fresh face, probably wouldn’t like any of it at all on anyone else.

Erica: Color, great. Dress, very interestingly shaped and cute. Am in favor of it all.

 

Marisa Tomei

Kate: Flawless.

Erica: Yeah? Not a little, uh, bathrobe-y?

Kate: Sparkly fabulous bathrobe. I also feel like we have maybe seen this before, and I’m still over the sequins as I said in our Golden Globes post, but it just looks great on her.

Erica: I don’t know. I wasn’t going to include this one because I don’t like saying bad things about Marisa Tomei.

 

Nicole Kidman

Erica: I know you hate this.

Kate: So you’re Nicole Kidman and you look essentially flawless in absolutely everything, and you have the world’s most perfect hair next to Connie Britton, but you look like you’re having dinner on a cruise ship. A very expensive cruise ship, but a cruise ship nonetheless.

Erica: I’m not fully disagreeing with you. And it’s a very unusual choice for Nicole Kidman. She usually chooses more polished things. And it’s very young, and I don’t mean that she looks ugly or that she’s revealing parts of her body that we don’t want to see, because I’d never say that and she’s not. But it does kind of look like what you’d wear to an awards show if you were 16 years old and plucked from obscurity because a big-deal agent happened to be at your school play in a tiny rural town in Tennessee because her nephew goes to that school and she plucked you out of obscurity and now you’re on the red carpet and you just can’t believe that this is where life has taken you and you want ALL THE PINK AND SPARKLES!

Kate: Or, cruise ship.

Erica: But the thing is, the dress is a particular thing, and it is doing the job of being its particular thing very well. And I even like the necklace with it and the hairstyle.

Kate: No, there are multiple necklaces, which is very casual, no? Her hair always looks good.

Erica: I know, you think I’ve lost it.

 

Queen Latifah

Kate: I liked her Golden Globes look a lot better, but this is still nice. Minus the hair.

Erica: To me, it’s fine. Not gorgeous, not amazing, but fine.

Kate: I guess I’m not over the sequins if the sequins are on Queen Latifah.

 

Rachel McAdams

Kate: This is a very different Rachel than the one we saw at the Golden Globes, and I have to say I liked that one better.

Erica: She continues to be an extremely adorable person. My only thing is, with this dress, I would have gone with more sculpted hair and a bolder makeup look.

Kate: Yea, I don’t like her hair blond or this short, and it looks like she’s not wearing much makeup at all, and she looks pretty unhappy to be there. I also REALLY don’t like t-shirt dresses. At all. The skirt is flawless, the rest is your basic disaster.

 

Rooney Mara

Erica: It wouldn’t actually kill you to smile, you know. You’re here because your career is going extremely well and lots of people are admiring your work.

Kate: Well I like this a lot better than what she wore to the Globes, and I don’t mean to “skinny shame” or whatever they’re calling it these days, but her thin frame is rather alarming to me. Wait, is that the same EXACT hairstyle that she wore to the Globes? Come on.

Erica: I think it’s, legit, her frame, though. I like this less but it’s not that intriguing a dress, and I kind of liked the Globes one.

Kate: I get that a frame like that works great for fashion, but it’s just a little shocking. I also wish she had worn some earrings or something

Erica: A smile. The thing you are never fully dressed without.

Kate: And her sister Kate, while more normally framed, doesn’t look that much better. I hate the mock-turtleneck look, no matter how subtle. Perhaps she’d look better in Rooney’s dress and Rooney in hers?

Erica: I DID NOT REALIZE UNTIL THIS MOMENT THAT THEY WERE SISTERS. I don’t know why I’m finding this so mind-blowing. I am very tired.

Kate: And their family owns the NY Giants.

Erica: WHAT?! Okay, wait, Ms. Rooney. You are an acclaimed actress in critical darling movies that will probably help you build a long-term career AND you get to hang with Eli Manning and you’re STILL making that face?! Cut it out, now, young lady.

Kate: I mean, I doubt she hangs with Eli, but yea. Be better.

 

Sarah Hyland

Kate: I am surprised by how much I like this.

Erica: She continues to dress like a celebrity about 15 years older than she is.

Kate: Oh, I don’t think the dress is particularly old. I think she totally has that effortlessly fabulous thing going for her here — the dress is super flattering and well tailored, the makeup is simple but lovely, and the short blowout looks chic but comfortable (to the extent that hair can be comfortable?). The earrings are just OK and I could do without the slit and the shoes, but all around fab.

 

Sarah Silverman

Erica: Holy moly, she looks good. She never looks like she cares this much.

Kate: WHAT? I think she looks like a complete disaster. And I feel like she AIMS to look like a complete disaster.

Erica: I mean, the dress does not look like she picked it up off the clearance rack at H&M. That is a big step for her!

Kate: She also walked onto the red carpet holding a can of Red Bull.

Erica: Really? That’s kind of hilarious. My favorite thing that happened at an awards show ever was when Emma Thompson walked on stage with her martini glass in one hand and her shoes in the other.

Kate: Anyway, this color looks bad on her skin, the mermaid bottom is awkward, and she just cannot pull off strapless. I feel her pain, but she can’t pull it off and should stop wearing it to every damn red carpet.

 

Sofia Vergara

Erica: You know, sometimes, I don’t think Sofia Vergara is a real human. I think she was constructed in a lab. “We need the epitome of Sexy Latina!” “Coming right up, Doc!”

Kate: Yea, she’s flawless. With that necklace she almost looks like she’s on the same cruise ship as Nicole Kidman, though.

 

Susan Sarandon

Kate: Oh dear god she’s wearing a bra.

Erica: When was the last time we saw Susan Sarandon on the red carpet?

Kate: I would be completely fine with Susan Sarandon on the red carpet in a white tux — even with not-done hair, even with too-short pants — were it not for the BLACK. BRA. So inappropriate!

Erica: It’s not even a black bustier or something that looks like lingerie but lingerie you’re supposed to see. It looks like a regular old bra. That’s very strange and unfortunate. Susan Sarandon, I refuse to let this outfit enter into my picture of you in my head. I just watched Bull Durham for the first time, and I did not like it, but I adored you, and I’m just going to picture you in any outfit you wore in that instead.

 

Tina Fey

Kate: Oooooh I love me some Tina Fey in red.

Erica: Hair and makeup are on freakin’ fleek. Dress is fine. She’s gaining in swagger with every red carpet. You do rock, Tina Fey. You know it.

Kate: Can we give her Best Dressed from the Neck Up? Her hair, makeup and jewelry are just too perfect.

Erica: I am amenable to that.

 

Uzo Aduba

Kate: Hmmm…Better than her Golden Globes look, but not by much.

Erica: Really, really nice. Gorgeous color. Gorgeous makeup and hair situation. I think the shoes might be matchy-matchy, but with a color like that, I think that’s a valid decision, and also, you can’t really see them, so who cares?

Kate: Oh I think the hair is a little nutso, and tops like that are just not flattering on women with big boobs. The green is very nice on her, though.

Erica: You know, as a woman with big boobs, I do tend to avoid necklines like that. But I don’t mind it on her.

Kate: I’d actually like to give a shoutout to the whole OITNB cast, who all look extremely lovely. Especially Laura Prepon — very ethereal.

 

Viola Davis

Kate: Ooooh I love! Another fab short bob!

Erica: The hair I like. The dress color I really don’t like at all. And it’s that wrinkly satin.

Kate: Yes the dress color is a little Oprah-y in a bad way, and I agree about the material, but as a whole package she looks great.

Erica: So are we just giving Best Dressed to Helen Mirren and Best Makeup and Hair to Tina Fey?

Kate: Yes to the latter, no to the former, need to change it up a little.

Erica: Alright, let me think. I mean, there’s Kate Winslet, but she’s just perfect, not interesting. And I love Maisie Williams but I just think she’s too young for it. You know what? I might lean Anna Faris. It’s surprising me because I didn’t think I liked it at all at first, but it’s glam, interesting, well-accessorized, and with good hair and makeup. Thoughts?

Kate: Totally ok with that! (Partially because I hope it makes Chris Pratt like me.)

Erica: And who are we giving Worst Dressed to? I vote Julianne Moore. Because I know you can do better, Julianne. You are a brilliant, talented woman. You can either do better, or you can convince me that you’re comfortable enough with your position in Hollywood that you don’t feel you have to do better, but you cannot show up in lime green monstrosities anymore.

Kate: Oh, ok, so that dress is green. Ok with her for Worst Dressed. Next up: The Grammys, February 15! (But really the day after. Be realistic, people.)

Golden Globes 2016

Kate: Happy 2016 awards show season to us!!!

Erica: It’s not wrong, what we do, right? I mean, we’re not critiquing the people, we’re critiquing the clothes. And we only cover women because the men are all in the same outfit. Which is, yes, the product of a sexist society, but it’s not, like, OUR fault.

Kate: No, it’s fun what we do, and everyone does it. Celebrities sign up for this. Are the Golden Globes earlier than usual this year? I feel like they are.

Erica: I don’t think so.

Kate: I’m excited about Ricky Gervais hosting again, because I didn’t like him at all the first time around, and now I do, so I’ll probably find him funnier.

Erica: Oh, I’m still not a fan. But I did like his joke about making the same for this gig as Tina Fey and Amy Poehler.

 

America Ferrera

Kate: We’ve seen this dress before, have we not? If not in this color than in another?

Erica: Maybe? It’s a similar style to what she usually wears.

Kate: It’s nice, but boring, and her hair is too severely pulled back for the neckline.

Erica: That neckline is hard. I mean, I do not like severe hair, but I don’t know what to do with that neckline that isn’t either severe or, like, something an eight year old would like in 1987.

 

Amy Adams

Kate: Who says redheads can’t wear red? I love this! She looks so much better when she’s not feeling the pressure of being nominated, huh?

Erica: I kind of say redheads can’t wear red. Or at least, the red would have looked nicer if it were a more blue-toned red rather than an orange-toned red.

Kate: Oh no I think it looks great. And her hair is perfect — very much like her twin Isla Fisher’s — and the dress looks fun and dare I say comfortable? She just looks like she’s there to have a grand old time.

Erica: She is a lovely human as ever. Not super-thrilled with the dress.

 

Amy Schumer

Kate: It’s like a mish-mosh of every black-and-white dress anyone has ever worn on the red carpet, and while both colors are classic the whole thing feels a little dated. But it’s a heck of a lot better than that turquoise strapless monstrosity she wore to the Emmys, as is her hair.   

Erica: I mean, look, I hate black-and-white formal dresses in general. (Except this one my friend Leah wore to our jr/sr formal that just made her boobs look fantastic, so it gets a pass.)

Kate: She looks nice overall, I just know she’s capable of looking a lot better.

Erica: I think she will not be capable of looking better until SHE believes that she can look better. You know?

Kate: She looks better in, like, random episodes of Inside Amy Schumer. PS CAN’T WAIT TO SEE HER IN JUNE!!!

 

Brie Larson

Kate: I was against seeing Room because the book upset me so much, but I guess now I’ll have to.

Erica: I can’t. I liked the book but I can’t see the movie. I know my limits.

Kate: So I really like this because it’s super Ancient Greece/Egypt-looking, which you know I love, and hello abs, but I don’t know if it’s really right for this here red carpet.

Erica: Yeah? I think it’s fine. I don’t love it and I don’t hate it but it’s nice and the right level of fancy.

 

Calista Flockhart

Kate: Including her because I just saw the new Star Wars and am feeling very loving toward Harrison Ford.

Erica: She and Harrison Ford are still married? Did I know that?

Kate: Yea. I love this color/pattern as, like, a top from Anthropologie, but it’s just too much as a gown on the red carpet.

Erica: I like it fine. I love the color, as you know, and yes, it would make a very cute top from Anthropologie, but I think it also makes a nice “wife-of” dress for the Golden Globes. She looks super-uncomfortable in any shot that does not have her husband in it, though.

 

Cate Blanchett

Kate: Mmmm… No. Shaking my head no.

Erica: I knew we were going to disagree on this one. I thought it was stunning.

Kate: I can usually get behind her extremely fashion-forward red carpet choices, but I can’t get behind this pink or this fringe. And I am really not into the side-swept hairstyle, but that may just be the angle of the photo.

Erica: I am fine with the sideswept hair. I love the dress. She looks like one of those Art Nouveau posters. Which is one of my favorite things.

 

Emilia Clarke

Kate: This isn’t something I’d usually like, but I appreciate that she’s playing up her GOT fashion a little here. Khaleesi’s outfits have been outrageously amazing the last couple seasons, way more exciting than what Emilia usually wears on the red carpet, so it makes sense that she’d go in this direction.

Erica: Ooh no I don’t like it. Too depressing.

Kate: I do, it comes off very chic and almost like Khaleesi’s dark-haired evil twin — hey, maybe that’s what’s happening in season 6!

Erica: That would be amazing. But I hate the dress. She looked really cute at HBO’s afterparty, though:

Kate: Oh no, I like this way less.

 

Eva Longoria

Kate: I have to be careful with this one because I’m TOTALLY SEEING HER WEDNESDAY NIGHT AT WATCH WHAT HAPPENS LIVE (!!!), but I have a few qualms about it.

Erica: I liked it overall but I agree with some qualms.

Kate: My qualms are the bows — are they really both necessary? Is the one at the waist just a gold ribbon that doesn’t actually come with the dress? Without that it’d be divine!

Erica: So, to me, it was mostly that the two bows didn’t match. Like, why is there a pink glittery thing at the neck but a gold glittery thing at the waist? I think it could work if they were both the same color. Although you could lose the belt and it would be fine.

Kate: …Crap I really hope she doesn’t read this blog before Wednesday night.

Erica: No, no, no, look. The dress is great, other than our quibble. I think it’s unique and pretty and looks fantastic on her. I especially love how either the flower design or her walk or both make her hips look very sexy. Also, COMPLETELY FLAWLESS makeup and hair. ALSO completely flawless delivery of teleprompter jokes, which is hard, y’all. Also, every time I see her on a talk show or what have you, she comes across as really intelligent and really charming and I know she does a lot of work with politics, especially voter outreach and immigration issues, so good for her, using her talent, humor, fame, and good looks for good. There. That should make her like you. Even though I kind of hate Andy Cohen, I’m jealous that you’ll be seeing her.

Kate: Well, that’ll make her like YOU!

 

Gina Rodriguez

Kate: Oh, Gina, you got confused. It’s the Golden Globes, not the Oscars, dear.

Erica: Aw, come on, Kate. She’s a TV star. She doesn’t go to the Oscars.

Kate: (Speaking of which, that bit about TV vs. movie stars by Will Ferrell was incredible.) It’s just too much dress. And this satin ALWAYS looks wrinkled on the red carpet no matter what anyone does with it beforehand.

Erica: Yeah, that’s true. But I love the shape and the color.

 

Giuliana Rancic

Kate: She really swears she’s an A List celebrity now, doesn’t she?

Erica: I like to continue to pretend I don’t know who she is.

Kate: I mean yea this is kind of a killer dress, but I’d rather see it on almost anyone else. She has grown increasingly rude and crass and flat-out mean on Fashion Police, and she has really lost a fan in me. (In case you hadn’t noticed.)

Erica: They make them be crude and mean on Fashion Police, right? That’s the job description. I don’t love the dress, myself, although the sleeves are kind of spectacular, and I do like pairing turquoise jewelry with orange. But the orange, her skin tone, and the hair don’t really work together and also, I don’t really want to acknowledge her.

Kate: They didn’t start out all being mean on Fashion Police, mean was Joan Rivers’s thing (RIP), everyone else was supposed to be objectively judging fashion. Like us!

 

Helen Mirren

Kate: This woman is 70 years old. SEVENTY. YEARS. OLD. Look at her!

Erica: For real.

Kate: Helen Mirren is officially my new life goal. “Why do you go to the gym every morning, Kate? Why are you spending so much money on moisturizer, Kate?” So I can look like Helen Mirren when I’m 70, that’s why. Incredible!

Erica: I just heard a podcast of a screenplay in which a major plot point is that the husband has a crush on Helen Mirren and then she shows up in a bar and flirts with him and I thought, you know, if they made this screenplay, she’d probably do it, because that the kind of cool chick she is.

 

Jada Pinkett Smith

Kate: This kind of looks like a top I could buy at H&M with a whole lot of extra material. Not feelin’ it.

Erica: I have a bad taste in my mouth about her and I can’t think why. Did she do something of which I disapproved?

Kate: Perhaps it’s her facial expression. It’s just all very mermaidy — in a bad way, because sometimes we like mermaids — and the shoes and eye shadow are way too matchy-matchy.

Erica: I like the color but you’re right about the shoes. But it’s also very slinky and sexy and she doesn’t usually do that, does she? It’s especially weird when she’s all, “Check out my super-sexy legs!” while standing next to her son.

Also, I saw her hugging Jenna Dewan-Tatum. Does that mean the Tatums are joining Scientology?

Kate: No no no no no!

 

Jane Fonda

Kate: Jane was planning on wearing a plain white long-sleeved column dress, and just before she got into her limo she decided it was too boring so she grabbed her dust ruffle and wrapped it around her shoulders.

Erica: I don’t care, I love it. I love how crazy pants it is.

 

Jenna Dewan-Tatum

Kate: This is probably a little too much dress for someone who really has nothing to do with the Golden Globes and is just someone’s date, but she looks pretty nice.

Erica: She really does. It’s very glam. I guess when you’re standing next to Channing Tatum, you want to really stand out. (I say this on behalf of the world, not myself. Channing Tatum is very nice-looking, but he’s way too young for me to find attractive.)

Kate: He’s the perfect man and Ian agrees with me. I do like the silhouette of the gown, even if the pattern is a bit overwhelming. And did she poof her hair in the front? Come on.

Erica: I can’t really see what about her hair you’re objecting to. It looks fine to me.

 

Jennifer Jason Leigh

Kate: Including her because I saw her on Watch What Happens Live! the other night and was really taken aback by her weirdness — what is her deal?

Erica: She has too many names. That’s the problem.

Kate: This dress is gross — very 80s in a very bad way, horrible color, and a belt that doesn’t belong anywhere. Worst Dressed nominee!

Erica: Sleeves are very stupid. Bodice is somehow BOTH popping her boobs out unattractively AND making them look droopy. But it’s a testament to how boring and safe everyone is being that this otherwise blah number is on the Worst Dressed list.

 

Jennifer Lawrence

Kate: Ok so I really love the dress. I love the color, I love her new take on cutouts (I know how you feel about cutouts, Er), I love how fab it looks on her body. It probably doesn’t need such a thick blingy necklace, but it’s a gorgeous piece and she pulls it off.

Erica: Yeah, I don’t like the cut outs. I don’t like this at all. Also, she and Amy didn’t really deliver their teleprompter jokes that well, which, I understand that teleprompters are hard and the jokes are typically too cheesy, but for real. Amy Schumer and Jennifer Lawrence. How much did you have to drink that early in the proceedings that the two of you, of all people, could not pull them off?

Kate: I thought they were funny! The only thing I don’t like is her hair. I’m hoping the color is because of a role and not a voluntary choice, and I just think wearing it all down in soft waves would have looked nicer. I get that she’s trying to give the necklace and the dress all the attention, I just don’t agree with the choice.

Erica: It’s too pale for her. The hair. I don’t care one way or another about the necklace because I hate the dress.

 

Jennifer Lopez

Kate: I love that she just can’t go to anything anymore without showing a significant amount of skin. It really is her thing — I mean, she started it.

Erica: Yeah, I really like the look on her. I like her overall style, with or without skin, because it’s always daring, whatever she does, and it’s always executed flawlessly.

Kate: I would probably like the dress better without the mini-cape, but I also get why it’s there, and the color would obviously be awful on anyone else. She broke it up nicely with accessories. I do, however, luuuuuurrrrrvvvveee the hair. Lurve.

Erica: Yeah? I like it darker on her.

Kate: But the soft flippiness of it? Lurve.

 

Joanne Froggatt

Kate: Absolutely beautiful color on her. Beautiful.

Erica: Oh this is my catnip.

Kate: The structured strapless/sweetheart neck with the deep V isn’t that flattering on her, though. The whole thing would have been very goddess-like if it had straps — maybe in a halter? — in the same material as the skirt.

Erica: Well, that neckline is very difficult. It always looks too low. But otherwise I love it.

 

Julia Louis-Dreyfus

Kate: Hair and makeup on FLEEK as per usual, but truly underwhelmed by the dress.

Erica: You know, when you’ve been nominated SO MANY TIMES, and you have to go to these things, like EVERY OTHER DAY, sometimes you want to just drop by Bloomies, pick up a dress, and be done with it.

Kate: She overall never looks anything short of amazing, I just don’t feel strongly about the dress one way or another. It’s a very confusing feeling, or non-feeling, I admit, but it’s there, and I don’t know what to do with it.

 

Julianne Moore

Kate: Nope. Hate it.

Erica: Agree. This is my anti-catnip.

Kate: It’s WAY too much blue, way way way. And can we just be DONE with the sequin overkill?

Erica: I think the color is fine, it’s just there’s too much dress, so it’s overwhelming. And yes, please let’s be done with sequin overkill. Please.

 

Kate Hudson

Kate: I’m really not even sure you could call this a “dress”, and whatever it is I really don’t like it, but HOW does her body keep getting better with each passing year?

Erica: Hate the “dress”. Her body is insane. Doesn’t she have a new expensive yoga-wear line out? I must say though, something weird is happening with her face. And also her hair. But yes. Body. Sicker than ever.

Kate: Yes, Fabletics. I can’t bring myself to buy any because my workout gear and pajamas are one and the same.

 

Kate Winslet

Kate: A lovely and very Kate Winslet choice, which means it’s a tiny bit boring.

Erica: Yeah, it’s what she always wears, but she wears it well. And she’s crazy talented and incredibly gracious, so that looks good on her, too.

Kate: And I’m really over this side-swept hairstyle, but her jewelry and skin and makeup all look phenomenal.

Erica: I like the side-swept hair. And the makeup is completely perfect.

 

Katy Perry

Kate: WHOA, hello hair?

Erica: Well, she’s Katy Perry. She can’t just wear a sexy tight pink dress; there has to be a costume-y element. In keeping with her “slutty version of Zooey Deschanel” aesthetic, I approve of this ensemble (although not so much the shoes).

Kate: I mean I like the dress fine but who can look past that hair? Also, what is she doing there?

Erica: That I cannot answer for you. I was hoping that watching (some of) the telecast would clue me in but it didn’t.

Kate: She presented Best Original Song. Really, Hollywood Foreign Press Association, we couldn’t find anyone else to do that? I generally like Katy Perry, I just feel like we could have had someone with a little more dignity — and less ridiculous hair — present this award.  

 

Kirsten Dunst

Kate: We haven’t seen her on a major red carpet in a long time, and I’m so happy she has made such a triumphant return. She used to wear some pretty weird sh!t.

Erica: Well, this is weird, but not really crazy.

Kate: Really? This may already be a Best Dressed nominee for me. The only thing I’d change is the black string going across her collarbone; it’s just not necessary. Everything else about this look is completely on fleek.

Erica: No, for the dress, it’s a necessary element. I don’t love the sort of haute-BDSM Valentino look, but it fit with that aesthetic.

Kate: HOLD ON. HER BOYFRIEND IS GARRETT HEDLUND?! He is so dreamy!

Erica: Who?

Kate: He’s an actor/country singer who starred in the instant classic Country Strong. (I honestly don’t know if he’s really a country singer but he sang country songs — which I LOVE — in that movie, so. There.)

Erica: You know, I’ve never seen that movie, and I don’t really understand how that happened.

Kate: Oh it’s so bad it’s good. It’s basically the movie version of Nashville.  

 

Lady Gaga

Kate: Extremely Jessica Rabbit/Marilyn Monroe-esque.

Erica: Love it.

Kate: Remember when we used to say “What if Lady Gaga showed up to award shows wearing boring black dresses?”? I kind of wish she’d go back to her old ways.

Erica: Yes, but this is flawless.

 

Laverne Cox

Kate: This is how you do white on the red carpet without looking bridal. (See below for Taraji P. Henson doing this the wrong way.)

Erica: I disagree that Taraji P. Henson did it wrong, as you’ll see, but yes, yes, yes to Laverne Cox. So much yes.

Kate: Love everything about it, even though I’ve already said twice that I’m done with side buns. Best Dressed nominee.

Erica: Side bun looks totally cute. She is really getting the hang of this red carpet thing.

 

Leslie Mann

Kate: I want to like this because I like her so much, but it’s really falling flat for me.

Erica: Oh, I like it fine.

Kate: The top is very ill-fitting, the beading below the waist doesn’t flow right, and the shade just doesn’t work with her skin tone and hair color. And she definitely doesn’t need that necklace. But it’s all so close to working that it’s frustrating, you know?

Erica: It’s probably a reflection of how she sees herself. Like, she probably doesn’t think she’s a big enough star to worry about getting all the details right. I do like the concept of the dress, but you’re right; little changes would make it a lot better.

 

Lily James

Erica: I thought her look would be in your wheelhouse, with its goddessy aspect, no?

Kate: Yes I like it, I just don’t really know who she is or what she does. I don’t love the hair and dark makeup with this style of dress, and I am kind of done with the one-shoulder cutouts.

 

Maggie Gyllenhaal

Kate: Someone needs to tell Patricia Field that Maggie Gyllenhaal stole all of Carrie Bradshaw’s flower pins and made this awful dress out of them. Gross.

Erica: I need to stop looking at this dress right away. I’m sorry, Maggie Gyllenhaal. I think you’re a fabulous actress.

 

Malin Akerman

Kate: I thought we were done with the peplum, no?

Erica: Nothing ever truly dies, does it?

Kate: The lace makes the whole thing seem very droopy, and the color is very drab. Not impressed.

Erica: Both yawn-worthy and ugly.

 

Melissa McCarthy

Kate: She has lost a ton of weight lately and looks absolutely phenomenal, and yet she chose a dress that completely hides that (that she apparently designed herself?). Very disappointing.

Erica: It’s part of her line. I think it’s too baggy. That much shiny fabric, in that color, just looks sort of garbage-baggy.

Kate: Adore the hair, though.

Erica: Sure. And the human.

 

Natalie Dormer

Kate: Wow, it’s going to be hard for anyone to top this on the Worst Dressed list. What was she thinking?!

Erica: Really? I don’t like it, but I don’t hate it with vehemence. I think the dress accomplishes what it wants to accomplish.

Kate: Oh no, there’s absolutely nothing appealing about this dress, or this whole look. Not one damn thing.

Erica: Well, I agree I don’t find it appealing. Also, her hair looks ratty in most pictures.

 

Olivia Wilde

Kate: Ooohhh no.

Erica: Yeah.

Kate: Oh no oh no. The necklace ruins everything. EVERYTHING, OLIVIA!

Erica: It really does. It’s totally out of place.

Kate. Also the hair. It’s so 2000s surfer girl, bleh! And her eyeshadow matches her dress/makes her face looked bruised! Double bleh!

Erica: I mean, I really hate ombre hair. The style of the hair is okay, though. Or would be, with a different dress/for a different event.

Kate: The dress isn’t even that great, but it would be ok without all this other nonsense. Ugh.

 

Queen Latifah

Kate: Honestly? Best I’ve ever seen her look. Absolutely love it, but would probably hate it on anyone else.

Erica: I like it fine. I do feel like she’s worn things that have wowed me in the past, and this doesn’t wow me, but it’s very nice.

 

Rachel McAdams

Kate: I feel like this dress is so Rachel McAdams, like no one else could/would ever even think of wearing it. (That’s not a bad thing.)

Erica: I feel like you, specifically, would hate this dress on anyone else.

Kate: You’re probably right. The only thing I don’t like is the hair, again with the poofy front. It’s not cool anymore, gals!

Erica: Well, but we don’t like too severe, either. What should they do?

Kate: You can’t go wrong with tousled loose waves.

 

Regina King

Kate: Oh, this is almost as bad as Natalie Dormer’s dress, but not quite.

Erica: I don’t feel that this has anything to do with Natalie Dormer’s dress, but I hate it.

Kate: Everyone’s all about these capes this year, but this one doesn’t look like it was supposed to be anywhere near this dress. And the dress material and pattern and swirling and shimmering are just wrong, wrong, wrong.

Erica: Yes about the cape and I say this as a full supporter of capes on the red carpet. Or, you know, wherever. Also, the dress, which is kind of dreadful, looks bad on her specifically. That is not at all the right silhouette for her figure.

 

Rooney Mara

Kate: Frightening. I saw this and was actually frightened.

Erica: I knew you would hate this. I saw this dress and thought, “If they ever write a textbook on Erica-and-Kate fashion opinions, this dress would represent the exact place where Kate and Erica completely disagree”.

Kate: The dress is the exact color of her skin, and it looks so awkward on her body, like she just really doesn’t want to be wearing it/doesn’t want to be there.

Erica: I do not mind the exact-color-of-skin thing, and I think the dress is romantic and interesting. Whether she wants to be wearing it/be at this award show is another issue entirely.

Kate: By that I mean it just doesn’t look right on her, and these ladies are all supposed to be looking effortlessly striking.

 

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley

Kate: I am honestly not sure what this girl has done to earn herself a spot on the red carpet, but this is quite a lovely dress and she has quite a nice body. Can you guess what I don’t like about the overall look, though?

Erica: She’s the same color from head to toe?

Kate: Correct! I also think she looks alarmingly similar to Lala on Vanderpump Rules (seriously, WHAT is that name?).

Erica: It’s a name that says, “I want SO BADLY to be the slutty one on a reality show”.

Kate: Ah, then it’s working.

 

Sophia Bush

Kate: Nothing like a slinky black dress with a deep V, eh?

Erica: Sure.

Kate: The slick hair and the red lip and the necklace all together may be a wee bit harsh, but overall she looks lovely. She always does.

Erica: What is she doing now? Because I would probably watch it, just for her adorability. If there’s one thing I got from this telecast, it’s that there’s a lot of good TV I’m not watching.

Kate: That trilogy of Chicago shows — Fire, PD, Med. None of which are Globes-worthy, though, so not sure how she scored the invite.  

 

Taraji P. Henson

Kate: I love this, but it’s a wedding dress. A very sleek, modern wedding dress that doesn’t fit her so well around the middle, but a wedding dress nonetheless.

Erica: No, no, no, love it. Love white on darker ladies. Love its sleek fit. Love her hair and makeup. Love.

Kate: But why is she always making those crazy facial expressions on the red carpet? Does it have something to do with her Empire character?

Erica: Oh, no idea.

 

Uzo Aduba

Kate: Ummm…She’s looked better.

Erica: She stole this dress from Adele.

Kate: Ooh good call! During the actual show I thought her new haircut looked great, but this overall look ages her a great deal. She kind of looks like Oprah, and not in a good way.

Erica: Yes! It does age her! I couldn’t put my finger on why I didn’t like it.

 

Viola Davis

Kate: This is super lovely and really moved beautifully on camera, which you can’t really see in a still photo, but the sparkle was just a little too sparkly. Maybe if the sleeves were just plain sheer without the additional sparkle?

Erica: I like it. But I like capes. I also felt when she came out on stage, the audience saw her, applauded like they did everyone, and then the applause grew as they became more and more dazzled by the dress.

Kate: You might be right about that.

 

Zendaya

Kate: I feel like she’s kind of too small and too young to wear a dress like this, but it still looks really, really good.

Erica: No, I don’t like it. Like her hair and makeup. Okay with the color. Hate the lampshade effect. Also I feel it’s a little boring and that we’ve seen her be a little more wild, no?

Kate: I guess. So, Best Dressed goes to…?

Erica: Did we agree on anyone tonight? Want to give it to Helen Mirren?

Kate: I am super-duper OK with that! Worst Dressed?

Erica: Ugh. I can’t actually look at Maggie Gyllenhaal’s dress. Like, I can’t see it. It’s giving me some sort of stomach ache. So I guess her. Or Regina King.

Kate: Even more OK with that. Well that’s all folks, see you on Sunday, January 31 after the SAG Awards!