Oscars 2018

Kate: Previously on Fashion Police: Everyone wore black to the Golden Globes to show solidarity for the #TimesUp and #MeToo movements, and just a few weeks later they wore white roses to the Grammys to signify similar solidarity. Tonight, those same celebrities…Do absolutely nothing differently with their outfits for any sort of political movement.

Erica: I think the best thing they did was take activists with them to the Globes, so that they/we had something substantive to talk about it. Everything else is just kind of silly.

 

Allison Janney

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Kate: This would be a pretty boring red dress without the extremely dramatic sleeves, but they are extremely dramatic, so I don’t know.

Erica: I’m into the dramatic sleeves and the neckline that makes her look fabulous.

Kate: I do not like the matchy-matchy-ness of the clutch, nor do I like the length of the necklace. It should have gone better with the neckline of the dress.

Erica: That is accurate. But honestly I usually don’t love her red carpet looks. I like this quite a bit.

 

Allison Williams

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Kate: Hmmm…I like that this is softer and more romantic/girly than some of the weird-a$$ sh!t she usually wears, and she doesn’t look as frighteningly skinny as usual, but something is still not working for me with her.

Erica: Is it the skin thing? That the dress and her skin are the same ivory?

Kate: Perhaps. I think I would like it if the skirt were either more or less full; it’s like it doesn’t quite know what kind of skirt it wants to be and that is throwing the whole look off.

Erica: I rather like it for the romantic girly-ness of it, although I think it would make an even better wedding dress.

Kate: I was thinking the same thing!

 

Ashley Judd

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Kate: I am commenting on her appearance in this photo and ONLY her appearance in this photo: I hate it.

Erica: Oh?

Kate: I’m saying that because I know she has been one of the more vocal #MeToo #TimesUp people and I am just not getting involved.

Erica: Okay. That is not necessarily what these posts are for. But I still am not feeling your hatred.

Kate: No hatred, I just don’t want my commentary on her looks to be mistaken for commentary on her recent activities. Anyway, her hair is too drastically parted, the work she’s had done on her face freaks me out, the earrings and necklace look terrible together, the silhouette of the dress — particularly where the waistline falls — is dreadful. The color is nice, but I hate it all together as one not-cohesive Look.

Erica: Okay. I feel that her hair always looks like that and it’s fine with me. From what I’m seeing, I rather like the silhouette and color of the dress. I think she looks nice enough.

 

Elisabeth Moss

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Kate: Oh, this is different. For her. I think I like it!

Erica: I do, too! It’s very Oscars glam!

Kate: I still don’t like her hair that color, and the style is a little…limp…as is the makeup, but the dress? The dress is lovely. (I know I usually flip out about belts, but this belt is doing exactly what it needs to be doing for this dress/Overall Look.)

Erica: I feel like the belt could be better but the existence of the belt is not offensive. And it’s all so much better than what she usually wears.

 

Emily Blunt

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Kate: Porcelain doll and not in a good way. I think only Cate Blanchett could wear something like this and get a pass from me; sorry, Emily.

Erica: I hate it, and I like porcelain doll looks.

Kate: It is a good Overall Look, though, in terms of how the hair and makeup go with the porcelain doll dress, I just don’t like it. Great earrings, though!

Erica: It makes her look permanently slumped. And the material around her neck and the white…flowers? They look really cheap. I’m annoyed because the kind of Look this is trying to be is the kind of Look I like, and yet, I do not like this.

 

Emma Stone

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Kate: Ugh. Hate it.

Erica: I mean, this would be fine for some other event. Some, like, dinner for the #TimesUp Hospitality Workers Appreciation or something. But you’re at the g-d Oscars. Bring it!

Kate: When they first showed her and started panning down I was hoping it was a full-on red tux/suit thing, but that pink sash and those black pants and all the satin-ness I just can’t even. It looks like a Halloween costume! A bad, wrinkly one! AND I LOVE HALLOWEEN!

Erica: Like, a bad costume for a bullfighter? Yeah.

Kate: Yeah. Great hair, though. Eyeshadow too red.

Erica: Hair is lovely but it’s just her normal hair.

 

Gal Gadot

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Kate: I feel like the long-sparkly-necklace-with-a-deep-V thing is a very Charlize Theron thing to do.

Erica: Until tonight, at which point it has become a very Gal Gadot thing to do.

Kate: And, I mean, I can’t even comment on the rest, for I am a mere lowly peasant mortal and Gal Gadot is the Goddess of Beauty herself, and I cower before her unbelievable perfectness. She’s TOO GOOD to even be a Best Dressed nominee.

Erica: For real. The dress should feel honored to have been chosen to grace her body. (Which is to say I don’t love it but I don’t care because it’s on her.)

Kate: Same.

 

Gina Rodriguez

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Kate: Although I’m confused as to why she’s here being that she’s mostly TV and this is THE OSCARS after all, she definitely stepped it up for the occasion. This is a very beautiful dress by itself and on her.

Erica: I think I have that dress on Covet.

Kate: The hair is a bit severe and the makeup a bit plain, but I suppose she wanted to give all attention to the dress, and rightfully so. And, again, a belt is not pissing me off, so I think I’m overall growing as a person.

Erica: The belt is kind of necessary to tie together the skirt. And she can really work a low neckline.

Kate: The skirt is actually reminding me of Audrey in Sabrina, which as you know is a very high compliment coming from me. And yet, something is holding me back from making this a Best Dressed nominee…

Erica: I think it’s quite beautiful but not especially interesting.

 

Greta Gerwig

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Kate: Oh, this is a surprising color. I like it a lot on her. I even like the jeweled detail throughout, and her makeup is great.

Erica: Yeah, I usually hate yellow on white girls but this color looks good on her and I’m into the makeup and hair. Her brows are gorgeous.

Kate: This is yellow, not orange?

Erica: I would also accept orange.

Kate: The only thing I don’t like is that the dress has spaghetti straps, which feel a little casual to me, but I don’t know what other type of strap or sleeve would make sense here.

Erica: I feel the top looks structured enough that it works. But also should I cut my hair?

Kate: Should I?

Erica: You could definitely pull off something short.

 

Helen Mirren

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Kate: I mean, WHO ELSE could wear just a plain blue/grey long-sleeved gown and look THIS GOOD? Damn!

Erica: It should be boring and yet it looks great.

Kate: I even like the matchy-matchy jewelry!

Erica: Never, you say! No, really, it looks good. She looks good.

Kate: The dress she wore to present the jet ski (you have to watch the telecast to get that) was quite a bit more over the top, and she still looked fabulous.

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Erica: I felt Jimmy Kimmel’s big mistake was telling everyone Helen Mirren didn’t come with the jet ski.

 

Jennifer Garner

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Kate: Oh my GOD, DAMN! YAS JENNIFER! This is freaking amazing!

Erica: That is quite a bold color. And her hair. Her hair. I’m so damn jealous of her hair.

Kate: She is so tan and her hair is so voluminous and her arms are so muscular and that dress is so BLUE and flowy I freakin’ LOVE it. I know this drapey type of look is kind of so 2-3 years ago, but…Best Dressed nominee!

Erica: Best hair. For sure.

Kate: Ooh, should we start awarding Best Hair and Best Makeup, too?

Erica: Maybe. But only if someone really deserves it.

 

Jennifer Lawrence

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Kate: Ooooooh.

Erica: She kind of looks like an Oscar.

Kate: Her hair looked very similar to this on WWHL last week, although maybe with a side part instead of middle (wow, I’m sick), and I loved it. It’s ALMOST a little Carrie Bradshaw, in a good way. This MAKEUP though is everything to me. Very dramatic but not too dramatic and a little reminiscent of Katniss Everdeen aka the girl on fire.

Erica: I think I’d prefer it with a side part but it’s pretty and sexy and she looks more confident than she has for a while.

Kate: The dress actually doesn’t do that much for me, especially in the hip area; I think the color/material/pattern would make for a better tight, cocktail-length, going-to-the-club type of dress, and in this format it’s just a little to heavy on the bottom. But the hair and makeup are doing MORE than enough for me. Wow.

 

Laura Dern

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Kate: White looks extremely lovely on her, but, and this is more a comment on the designer than the actress, I really don’t like the two different sleeves/straps, or the silhouette of the skirt. If it’s a column dress, make it a TRUE column, you know? This falls somewhere between column and modest A-line, at least the way she is wearing it/posing.

Erica: Oh, I like the two different sleeves. And also I super-love her hair. Almost as much as I like Jennifer Garner’s.

Kate: Oh, yes, fab hair.

 

Lupita Nyong’O

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Kate: Fantastic. Perfect play on her Black Panther character while still being elegant and Fashion. Although, I am biased toward all things related to the color gold. 🙂

Erica: I haven’t seen that yet. And likely I won’t for a while. I’m interested, but I have yet to see a single Marvel Universe movie. The dress is interesting and a beautiful example of the thing it is, but it is not my kind of thing.

Kate: Marvel movies are the only ones I see in theaters anymore. Oh, I don’t love the blue eyeliner, though.

Erica: Her skin is perfectly luminous. And I’m into the hair.

 

Margot Robbie

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Kate: Oh, yes. Yup. Mhm. Yes.

Erica: She’s so beautiful. Just so beautiful.

Kate: White seems to be the theme tonight (it was also the theme a couple years ago…), but no one looks as good in it as Margot does. Damn. PERFECT hair and makeup. Perfect dress silhouette for her perfect body. BEST DRESSED NOMINEE!

Erica: I find the dress really interesting. I’m not sure I feel that the interesting skirt necessarily speaks to the interesting beading on top, but she’s so incredibly gorgeous.

 

Mary J. Blige

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Kate: I love it a whole lot from the waist down, but that asymmetrical neckline is really throwing me off.

Erica: I think I don’t mind it but here’s the thing about her look tonight: I feel like most of the time, her clothing is drawing the attention, for good or bad. This is the first time I’ve noticed her actual face and she is quite lovely.

Kate: I do NOT like the purse at all; it looks like something you’d pick up at a cheap dye-to-match shoe store. Oh, her performance dress is a zillion times better. Should have just worn that on the carpet, MJB!

 

Meryl Streep

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Kate: Oh HELL YES MERYL! I LOVE THE RED! (Sorry Allison Janney, you just lost the whole red thing.)

Erica: She looks great. Just as easy and comfortable as she always does, but in red. And also you can see that she does have a body, with, like, a waist and everything, and it looks terrific.

Kate: Absolutely love it.

 

Nicole Kidman

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Kate: I actually gasped when I saw this. She might have just won Best Dressed right here right now.

Erica: She looks super-tiny but also amazing.

Kate: This blue is the bluest of all blues in the best possible way, and everything about the dress INCLUDING the oversized bow is just so FASHION and COUTURE. It looks so perfectly made. And I absolutely love her hair and makeup, as usual. Nicole really brought the fire with this one.

Erica: I have to say, I agree with everything you are saying. I love the structure, I love that it is both the thing it is and a reference to the thing it is, if that makes any sense, which it probably doesn’t, but I love it.

 

Octavia Spencer

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Kate: I’m not entirely convinced she hasn’t worn almost this exact thing before, but it’s very pretty, and I love the color.

Erica: Love the color. Don’t love the neckline.

 

Rita Moreno

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Erica: Apparently this was the same dress she wore to the Oscars in 1962. I feel it holds up. She looks fabulous.

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Kate: I read that too and it warmed my heart, almost as much as when they played a clip of “America”. ❤

Erica: When they do things like that, I feel they are kind of screwing themselves, because then I’m like, “Yeah, let’s watch West Side Story instead of this boring crap”.

 

Salma Hayek

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Kate: This is one of those things that Fashion People are going to love and I just won’t get.

Erica: I first saw it in the little black-and-white thing they did to open the ceremonies. I liked it then.

Kate: I do get that it would look absolutely ridiculous on almost anyone else, I just don’t like the almost-neon purple with all the ruffles and draped jewels, it’s too much. I also don’t like the piecey hair.

Erica: I don’t like the color but I kind of like the look. I mean, it’s a Look, and she’s committed. And I came of age in the mid-90s; piecey hair doesn’t bother me at all.

 

Sandra Bullock

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Kate: Oh well hello there Sandy, didn’t expect to see you here!

Erica: Her hair, as ever, looks beautiful, but I am less in love with the straight flat thing than I am in love with Jennifer Garner’s volume.

Kate: I love this. I feel like I always love everything she wears. I think she’s one of the most gorgeous people. This reminds me of something JLD would wear, another one of the most gorgeous people.

Erica: I think the dress looks sort of casually slinky in a very beautiful way. Kind of perfect for a glamorous vet like her. I don’t love the matte lipstick but I love the thick brows. Is that a thing right now? I like it. As you know.

Kate: Oh, yes, the thicker the better. And as gorgeous as her hair is down and straight and shiny, up and a little less structured might have worked better with this dress. Excellent makeup, as always.

 

Saoirse Ronan

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Kate: This is kind of a combination of every other baby pink dress that has been worn by a celebrity on the Oscars red carpet.

Erica: It’s like an homage, though. It’s an homage to Gwyneth Paltrow’s look when she won for Shakespeare in Love (which we now have to, like, give huge side-eye to because she was sexually harassed by Harvey Weinstein to be in that movie, right?) and it’s an homage to Marilyn Monroe’s Diamonds Are a Girl’s Best Friend look. I approve.

Kate: I like it, kind of, but mostly I like how much effort she put into the Overall Look with the hair and makeup and shoes (LOVE the shoes!) going all so perfectly together, even though it’s not my usual preferred Look.

Erica: It’s one of mine so I give it an enthusiastic thumbs up.

 

Taraji P. Henson

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Kate: This is so Taraji I just cannot even.

Erica: It is the apotheosis of her look. I like it because I like her.

Kate: I like it, too, especially the very sleek bob (been thinking about doing that to my hair…!), and even the lipstick, but those sleeves I just cannot. They’re not even sleeves, they are upper-arm bracelets with dangly pieces of fabric down to the floor that are not attached to any other part of the dress, which begs the question: WHY?

Erica: No, here’s what begs the question WHY?: She’s starring in a remake of What Women Want, only it’s going to be What Men Want, and she’s going to hear men’s thoughts. Why is this happening? Who wanted to remake this movie? Who doesn’t already know what men want? Who exists in a universe in which what men want ISN’T broadcast 24/7 over every conceivable medium?

Kate: Oh, I kind of loved that movie, mostly because it so perfectly represented the perfectly silly type of romantic comedy from that era. A golden era, if you will.

 

Tiffany Haddish

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Erica: I’m including her because I find her amusing and her look on the red carpet, she claims, is to honor the people of Eritrea, where her father is from, and a) I now know how to pronounce Eritrea, and b) I’m into the look. It’s like a not-real-person ensemble, like the formal gown for a character in a fantasy movie, and I’m into it.oscars 18 tiffany haddish on stage.jpg

Kate: It is very princessy, but it’s not what she wore to present, which I don’t understand. I like what she wore to present a lot, though, especially how perfectly the necklace went with the neckline (maybe it was part of the dress?), and that she even looked good in it with Uggs instead of heels.

Erica: When she presented, she had changed into a white formal number that she has worn before, and joked on SNL about how she loves wearing it, so I find that amusing, too. I don’t know how much of her persona is real, but it’s a charming persona.

 

Viola Davis

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Kate: She and Allison Janney both decided to bring the same clutch in different dye-to-match colors. I hate this dress more than possibly anything.

Erica: This is the third dress I saw, and I will say, if this is the low bar, the ladies have done well for themselves this evening.

Kate: This color shouldn’t be seen anywhere outside the Barbie universe, and I would say this about any woman of any age or race wearing this color. It REALLY sucks!

Erica: The material is very weird and making a very strange effect on the TV screen. And I did assume when I saw the dress and not the person — which is a problem right there, that the dress is just SO MUCH — that it was a much younger person wearing it.

Kate: Yes, the hairstyle and big shiny hoops are way too young for her. And the dress is also not tailored very well to her body in the strap and boob area, right? Is that just me?

Erica: It is not just you. Somewhat disappointing ensemble. I also don’t love the hair style. I feel like it’s the thing I try to prevent my hair from doing — flattening on the top and frizzing on the bottom. If it looks good on anyone, it’s teenagers, but it’s not my favorite look on anyone.

 

Wendi McLendon-Covey

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Kate: I’m including her because I feel like we never do or she’s never at these things and I LOVE this dress, ESPECIALLY on her!

Erica: I have no idea who this person is.

Kate: Yes you do, look it up. She was in Bridesmaids and other things. This is a beautiful silhouette in a beautiful color that is actually pretty hard to pull off, but everything she did with her hair and makeup and jewelry make it work.

Erica: Oh, yes, I do know who this person is, and yes, she looks gorgeous. Good job, Wendi McLendon-Covey!

 

Whoopi Goldberg

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Kate: I like that it’s not a blue or black smock/potato sack, which I feel like is what she usually wears, but it is quite insane-looking nonetheless.

Erica: Whoopi is an EGOT?

Kate: She’s, like, one of the most known EGOTs. (So is Audrey!)

Erica: The dress is made by Christian Siriano so I want to love it but I do not. At all. Her daughter looks pretty, though.

 

Zendaya

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Kate: This is kind of giving me Gone with the Wind vibes, no?

Erica: She is so tall. So incredibly tall.

Kate: I wouldn’t normally like it, and I don’t totally like it, but for once I actually GET why this is Fashion and it does look very well-made and beautiful on her, if a little baggy.

Erica: I like it because I like flowy things and because she strikes me as delightful.

Kate: I also don’t normally like top knots that are that tight/high up, but it works on her, and great makeup.

Erica: I would like crazier hair but it’s fine with me. I thought she looked very nice. So, Worst Dressed?

Kate: Emma Stone? Viola Davis?

Erica: Yes. Signing on for Emma. And Best Dressed? I don’t know if this is because I’m grading on a curve, but I’m into Nicole Kidman’s look.

Kate: 100% for sure yes, although Margot Robbie and Jennifer Garner are VERY close second and third for me.

Erica: And Sandy.

Kate: And that does it for the 2017-2018 award show season, folks! See you after the Met Gala, maybe!

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